Comments on: Sorry, I Accidentally Had Sex

By: Kary

Kary — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 05:13:54 +0000

“Craig, have you never been in a compromising situation? Are you judging others of their “short-comings” unfairly? I do agree with you about being honest, but life and situations are simply not so black and white.”

Sorry, dude,, but I have to disagree with you here–haven’t you ever heard of the term “Just Say No”? If you are in a committed relationship and you are approached with a situation that could turn into something ugly and deceitful, then you DO THE RIGHT THING and just say NO! It IS black and white, right and WRONG.
Period. No excuses, no justifications, no “compromising situations”. How about this; Don’t PUT yourself into a compromising position for starters….

~~Kary

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 14:58:46 +0000

I think this post is a little harsh. Craig, have you never been in a compromising situation? Are you judging others of their “short-comings” unfairly? I do agree with you about being honest, but life and situations are simply not so black and white. You stating your opinion with an angry undertone sounds a lot like a scorned man rather than a motivational speaker. Your words will make others feel defensive, not inspired. What are you really saying here? People are truly good at heart, but life happens and changes their preception of things. Do you know every person’s narrative? I like what you might be trying to say, but maybe you could figure out a way to get your point accross so one feels enlightened.

By: Robyn

Robyn — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 11:00:00 +0000

I totally agree with this.

The one thing that I want to add is that some people have to repeat the same old pattern before the penny drops. Sure, lack of insight is no excuse, but some people just need to repeat the same bad behaviour before they realize that (A) it isn’t working for them, (B) it’s creating more problems for them, and (C) it’s hurting others.

On the other hand, I’m not so tolerant of the insightful bad.

By: AmericanGirl

AmericanGirl — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 09:45:47 +0000

Craig, agreeing on the accident. We keep on hearing people say this in the States. It’s the whole game of “re-naming” actions to spin them. And I think the speakers also get out of personally confronting their own actions- which is sad.
I’m also frustrated with another media language game- with how “hero” is tossed around.

By: AmericanGirl

AmericanGirl — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 09:41:27 +0000

Gail, if you can find a Psych-K practitioner in your area, I really recommend it. I got the recommendation off of a blog of someone I consider a spiritual mentor, and she suggested that sometimes psychological counseling just may not work well or will take a long time to help change internal beliefs, but she’d heard good things about Psych-K. So I went and had a session. I know it seems a little woo-woo to some. I’m fine with what others want to believe, but I found substance. Recommended.

Gail, as much as you don’t like your weight, it has a beautiful mission- it is showing you that there are issues that need healing, and it can lead you to wholeness. There’s a lot of beauty in that, isn’t there? No child, adult, or any kind of creature ever deserves abuse. Never. It’s time to take that belief in completely.

By: Kate

Kate — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 09:14:50 +0000

Hi Michael,

For clarifty last time I checked looking at billboard wasnt cheating… possibly I wasnt direct enough.. if both partners are aware and I do know many people like open relationships (just not really my thing, dont like sharing) then I dont think that is cheating… It comes down to lieing and stealing basically as you are mispresenting yourself to someone it is similar to ripping off a company…

In regards to a relationships being hard work again I should have been more specific A GOOD relationship = hard work, a GOOD body =- hard work…

XXX Since you had two posts figured only fair I got the last one in Kate X

In regards to the 1st post where you said Kate I totally disagree with you.. but then in the second

By: faery

faery — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 05:05:01 +0000

Wonderful article!! Love it!

By: Tania

Tania — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 03:12:06 +0000

@Michael – I think Maveric is a woman and she was directing her comment to Craig….

By: Tania

Tania — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 03:07:52 +0000

Wanted to add that the “I am a sex addict” excuse is getting old….lots of people are sex ‘addicts’ (most men seem to be ) we just don’t use it as an excuse for bad behaviour.

By: Michael

Michael — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:36:19 +0000

Post script before we move on

If anyone saw that show last night on Lord Snowdon and Princess Margaret it proves two things about affairs:

1. The society at the time, even our liberated one, will make demands to be moral and proper i.e. don’t sleep around when attached. Guess what – they did then, they do now, they forever will.

2. If people are honest and reconcile love with physical attraction. If you know that you will stray perhaps be single forever. But the reality is many want both: to be able to come home to love and affection but still pick up. It’s ego, human nature etc. But if people are honest with themselves and potential partners a lot of this mess would be avoided. If your partner wants to sleep around you have the power to say NO. You say I won’t accept that. Simple. But many, and I don’t believe this is just women, will hold onto the relationship. If on the other hand you don’t mind him/her doing others be aware of the health and emotional minefields, but to some’s horror I know people going into 20 year relationships who have had affairs and they are still together, healthy, and don’t see any issue with sleeping around, they just tell each other.

If you do decide to be open be careful sexually especially if you get to the stage where you want to have children. Also be aware of the other person one has a fling with as I have fallen in love with someone coupled and I didn’t know and it hurt, but having said that, it was more the fact that person was not upfront if I had known that person was coupled I would have said no. Some who are in open do treat the fling as a fling without being honest and if you like the person it opens up the potential to get hurt, but in hindsight I should have checked and now do.

To Maveric, I don’t date women and find it offensive to promote voilence against women by beating them up joke or not. I’m not straight and I would say you were perhaps offended by my soap box. Don’t read it then. Or mail Craig and ask for my stuff to be removed.

Craig thanks for this topic I’ll move on and it was interesting to listen to others but I wonder in closing does anyone really think they can force someone to be monogamous or be open? Sadly, many do and that causes more dramas than the actual acts themselves. Again each to their own.