Life on the Dance Floor

Social Noise

Have you ever tried to participate in a conversation while immersed in a social setting that makes it virtually impossible to hear anything above the ambient noise pollution? Perhaps a night club, a concert, a party, a sporting event or maybe even a noisy restaurant? And being as lip reading is not one of your key interpersonal skills, you stand there like an idiot smiling, nodding and agreeing with something that you haven’t actually heard. For all you know, you could have just agreed to a threesome involving a Twister mat and some vanilla custard. Just to stay in the game, you make sure that every few minutes you laugh with great enthusiasm because that’s what the others seem to be doing. Simulated participation; looks like a conversation but isn’t.

People Pleaser.

Organised Chaos

When I was a young muscle-bound, alpha-male dripping with testosterone (my own),  I spent far too many nights working in clubs and pubs around Melbourne helping all the boys and girls to play nicely and not hurt each other. The crazy thing about working in a chaotic environment such as a crowded, noisy club is that although you’re around people all night, it’s virtually impossible to hear anyone’s voice unless you (1) have super powers or (2) you have your ear pressed against their mouth. As for enjoying any kind of meaningful dialogue, forget it.

Weekends in the Eighties

For a while there, me and my biceps spent every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night between nine and three watching with great amusement as the guys and girls would do their best to connect (we’ll go with connect) by screaming into each others ears while trying not to spill their over-priced drinks, to move their hips with the music, to dodge the rest of the crowd and to do their best not to die from smoke inhalation; keeping in mind that this was the eighties and passive smoking hadn’t been invented.

Although the ultimate point of the whole nightclub adventure wasn’t typically for the procurement of a great conversationalist with a penchant for the philosophical (no shit Sherlock), nonetheless, the getting-to-know-you part of the process (charade) needed to transpire in order for the… er…well, you know; the next bit. Don’t make me say it.

I feel dirty.

Let’s be honest, how could anyone ever have a meaningful conversation in such an environment? They couldn’t. How could you hear someone’s voice and understand what they’re saying when you’re both in a loud, chaotic place? You couldn’t. But then again, in many of those situations social intercourse wasn’t really the ultimate objective.

So to speak.

Q. So why am I sharing this story with you?

A. Because it’s dawned on me lately that many of us are still living in that loud, unhealthy and chaotic place right now. Not literally like I was in the eighties but metaphorically. Imagine for a moment that the chaotic nightclub is representative of your day-to-day life; complete with the noise, the distractions, the meaningless conversations, the acting, the superficial crap, the crowds, the wasting of money, the destructive behaviours and the general chaos that comes with that scene. And then imagine that the person who is trying to speak to you in the middle of all that mayhem, is you. Not public you, not the you show and not the facade. No, the you that you ignore; the one who can’t be heard above the noise. The one who has been screaming across the dance floor for years. To no avail.

I hate to be the one to tell you, but putting your fingers in your ears and humming is not a great long-term strategy for emotional and psychological health. I should know; I’ve tried.

Leaving the Dance Floor

Knowingly or not, many of us have built and inhabited our own internal nightclub for years and sadly, the one voice we should pay attention to can’t be heard above the self-created chaos and distractions. Just how we like it; “la, la, la” (eyes shut, fingers in ears). For far too long, some of us have created a situation and environment that drowns out our inner voice; the one that knows us best. Some of us are scared to be still. Scared of the silence. Scared to listen. Scared of what we might hear. Scared of the reality beyond our self-created story. For some of us, it’s time to find our way out of the chaos. To get off the dance floor. To leave the building. To stop talking shit. To turn down the volume on our life. To find some space. To stop hurrying. To stop ticking boxes. To stop filling our life with distractions. To gain clarity and escape the haze of expectation, group thinking and conformity. To listen to our heart. To stop pretending. To be totally honest with ourselves. To stop over-thinking. And to discover who we are and what we might become beyond what we do. And what we’ve done.

From Me to You

My wish for you today is that you would once again allow yourself to dream; just like you did when you were a child. Even for a few minutes each day of your life. I do it constantly and I’m forty five years young. It’s liberating. And empowering. It will change your state. It will open a door to your creative and resourceful self; the one you haven’t seen for a while. It will show you things that fearful, mature and logical you, hasn’t seen for a very long time. I hope you will allow yourself to get excited about your dreams and plans, even though you may perceive that to be something of an emotional risk.

In truth, a life without dreams and plans is a far greater risk.

I hope that today you will allow yourself to explore your potential and to gain clarity and certainty about what your future might be; irrespective of your age, your situation, your history, your fears or what people might have done to you, or said about you over your journey. I hope that today is the day when you stop talking yourself down, and others up. I hope it’s the day when you find a reason to do something, rather than another excuse not to. And I hope today is the day when you truly understand that the only person who can stand in your way of your dreams, happiness and potential, is you. If I haven’t told you for a while (or perhaps ever, if you’re a newbie), let me tell you again; you are good enough, you are smart enough and you are talented enough. Which means that you don’t need to spend your life waiting for the support, permission, endorsement, acceptance or approval of anyone else.

For some reason, today I feel compelled to encourage and support you; so be encouraged Grasshoppers. Even though I don’t know most of you personally, sometimes I get a sense (call me weird) that some of you need to hear a certain message. Today is such a day. And this was that message.

xx

* Hey Queenslanders! Don’t forget that I will be in Noosa tonight (Monday) for a casual coffee and chat get-together, meeting in the Sheraton foyer (14-16 Hastings st.) at 8pm. Don’t be scared, I am mostly well behaved in public these days. Lest I forget my pills. Hope you can make it along to say hi and meet some other nice folk.

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