People-Watching
One of the realities of my work is travel. This involves plenty of hotels, planes, cabs and airline lounges. Being someone who flies a lot, I am a lounge member of my preferred airline. This means I get to work, relax and watch a little sport in relative comfort while waiting for my flight. One of the other things I get to do is observe humanity in action: my fave. Airline lounges are indeed the perfect laboratory for such research. People-watching is pretty fascinating stuff – especially for someone who writes and talks about human behaviour for a living.
While there are many phenomena I’ve observed in such places over the last few years, last Friday – on a business trip to Sydney – I made two interesting observations worthy of a little discussion and exploration here at me-dot-com. I’d like your thoughts on both.
Observation 1: Some People are Pigs.
What is it with people around free food and alcohol? If you’ve never been in an airline lounge, it’s (often) like an all-you-can-eat-and-drink-buffet for rude people in suits with mobile phones strapped to their heads. Aside from being able to enjoy the (relative) seclusion and comfort of the lounge, being a member also provides users with unlimited alcohol and food from the time they arrive until the time they are called to board their plane. For some people this can be sixty minutes or five thousand calories; whichever comes first.
Value for Money
While I pay mostly for the quiet, the privacy, the internet access, the comfort, the lack of crowds (compared with the rest of the airport), the numerous big-screen TVs, the showers and the slightly-better-than-terrible coffee, it appears that some people feel the only way they can ensure the value of their membership is to eat and drink themselves onto the plane. Some people (okay, many people) will check in and then walk straight to the food section and start loading up a plate (and I mean l-o-a-d-i-n-g), no matter what time of day it is or how hungry they are (or aren’t). They may have eaten lunch an hour ago – it doesn’t matter, “I’ve paid for this, so I’m going to enjoy it”.
As an interested observer, it seems that, for some people, there are times when eating has everything to do with the availability of food and nothing to do with hunger or physical requirements. I’ve sat with and spoken to people in lounges who find it strange that I (usually) don’t eat when food is part of the membership deal. Apparently, not being hungry is a lame reason to abstain from eating. Seemingly the whole “if I’m not hungry I won’t eat” concept confuses them. It’s a little complex, I know.
I apologise if this sounds a little judgmental and nasty but if you sat next to me last Friday and observed the frenetic way some people (who are clearly in no danger of starving any time soon) attacked that buffet as if they might never see food again, you’d be shocked too. Where do you think this “it’s free and it’s in front of me, so I need to eat” mentality comes from?
What are you thoughts, experiences and observations?
Observation 2: Some People are Invisible.
I love invisible people. Of course, I don’t mean literally invisible people – although that would be cool. No, I mean the people who are (often) socially invisible. I met such a person last Friday. His name was Raj. Probably still is. 
As I sat there in the airline lounge with my slightly-better-than-terrible coffee, I watched a small Indian man (I think he was Indian) in uniform quietly and politely go about his business of picking up cups and plates, wiping tables and benches and generally cleaning up after the messy travelers.
Invisible Raj
I don’t get mad very often but I got (momentarily) mad last Friday. Sitting in front of me was a group of about ten blokes. They were sitting in assorted lounge chairs with a bunch of coffee tables between them. On these tables (and also on the floor) were various empty bottles, cups, glasses, plates and an assortment of other rubbish they had discarded. Some of the men had their feet on the tables, most of them were as loud as the planes outside our window and not one of them noticed, acknowledged, spoke to or thanked Raj as he cleaned up their considerable crap.
Not one.
One dirtbag (see – angry) wouldn’t even take his feet down from a coffee table to let Raj do his job. He made him find an alternate route to clean the remaining rubbish. Nice guy. At this stage, I had bad thoughts. Don’t tell anyone. As this humble, quiet, efficient and polite man worked his way through the group cleaning up after them – at times down on his hands and knees – not one person even made eye contact with him, let alone treated him with any respect or decency. How can people be so unaware and inconsiderate?
Here was a fellow human-being literally inches away from these people, cleaning up their mess and they couldn’t even make the effort to acknowledge his presence. And as for thanking him, smiling at him or doing something totally crazy like engaging him in a brief conversation – not a chance. It was as though he wasn’t actually in the room. Being the lover that I am , I fought my overwhelming compulsion to kick their arrogant feet off those tables. Deep breaths Mr Personal Development.
Okay, I still have some issues.
A short time later, Raj came to collect my empty coffee cup and wipe my table. I asked him how his day was going. He seemed almost shocked. It was clear he didn’t expect anyone to show any concern for his welfare or the quality of his day. It occurred to me that not too many people had asked him how he was. Maybe nobody. “Good, thank you Sir”, came the polite reply. When I told him that he was doing a great job his faced lit up and he made real eye contact for the first time. “Thank you.”
I also told him that I thought he was very patient, tolerant and professional dealing with the rude pricks in suits. “I’m used to it, Sir”, he replied. “Well, you shouldn’t have to get used to rude people”, I informed him. I made sure I spoke loud enough for the rude pricks to hear. We spoke for a minute or two and Raj went on his way. As he moved to the next table, I felt a little sad. I wanted to tell him that he was just as important, valuable and special as anyone in the room but I sensed it might have been a little weird (for him). Maybe next time; I’m in Sydney a lot.
Then we’ll move on to hugging. Whether he likes it or not. 
Ten minutes later, I was sitting on a plane staring out the window and contemplating the way we humans treat each other. It’s sad that we’ve trained ourselves to not see or value certain people. Maybe you and I can play a small role in turning this around? It all starts with awareness, acknowledgement and a desire to do different.
My challenge for you this week (if you feel so inclined) is to invest some time, care and energy into at least one invisible person and let me know how you go. Unconditional love is so easy to give and so healing and beautiful to receive. A few kind words, a friendly smile, thirty seconds of your time and very little effort can literally transform someone’s day and emotional state – so why wouldn’t we? It might sound cheesy in theory but, in reality, it can be transformational.
Remember: it’s impossible to be both selfish and happy, so why not choose unconditional kindness, acceptance and care? Let me know how you go.
Enjoy your week, be the change and I’ll work on my anger issues.
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Hi Craig,
I’ve been doing something similar lately. When I’m out and about dealing with physical businesses I try to make sure that I’m not using my mobile phone, I have eye contact with them, I smile and use simple pleasantries like please and thank-you.
You’re right, we seldom take the time out of our busy days to acknowledge another fellow human being. It costs us nothing, it’s not going to kill us and it might actually make a difference in ours or somebody else’s lives. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain from it and that’s why I continue to try and do this each and every day.
Thanks for sharing today.
Kindest Regards,
Lia Halsall
here here, hear hear (sp.). i know its one of those two…
I am sure everybody has a story. Experience has told me that invisible people are 10 times more interesting than visible people. Nuff said.
Liked it Craig, well said.
xo Leanne
God you should go to all you can eat places if you want to see humanity at it’s worst.
I have always acknowledged all people…I don’t necessarily hold a conversation with them, but always a thanks and a smile. People watching can be a huge eye opener!!!
I reckon Craig, that Raj would have got the feeling he was just as special from your chatting with him anyway, you do have a way of making people feel special and that they matter!!!! You would have made his week!!!
hugs
Chelle xxxx
I always smile, talk to and interact with shop assistants, it does shock them sometimes, sometimes they smile or if I’m really lucky they chat back. What makes me mad is when two cashiers are talking to each other and ignore me (the customer) I usually say something like “no way, what happened next” they then looked shocked and don’t know what to do. Great fun. The service in the UK is generally rubbish. Shame. Have a good week.
Okay, I’ll join that challenge !
You’re right little things do make a difference – just ask me if the nice guy who picked up the tomatoes from the floor after the plasic bag I was putting them in broke open in the fruit & vege section of the supermarket I was shopping in this afternoon was appreciated and ….I”ll tell you….he was.
I like that strangers can still surprise you with their kindnesses (like you did with Raj), so I’ll take up your challenge this week.
Nice one Craigo!
Oh & I have no idea why people ‘pig out’ when they’re at a buffett – you’re so right, they eat like they are not going to see food for weeks – perhaps it’s all got something to do with the getting ”something for free” syndrome which dictates that getting something for nothing will make you feel good – whether it’s food or some other ”freebie’…….a bargain’s a bargain (apparently !)
Have a nice week and thanks for the challenge…..
Hugs,
Mon ( )
Loved the title and the post. Like you, I have spent a bunch of time in airports and agree that people are disgusting.
Craig, you should try working for QANTAS like I do. Air travel brings out the worst in people.
True, very true. The world would definitely be a better place if we all lived this way.
My mother never raised me to be so rude or disrespectful to anyone in life. Sadly Craig, this is a sign of the times.
CH – I am sure your 30 seconds with RAJ made him feel gr8 – no matter how high up the food chain you peak – or how important you think you are. executive, lounge member or not …….woopee!!, everyone is equal. mmmm I am fortunate enough to have reached an executive level-ding-dong, each and every day at work, I smile and engage in all conversations with everyone I meet – no matter how busy I think I might be, or how crap my own day is, or what my own life might have been lately. I have many colleagues in my workplace with special needs – each day I look forward to connecting with them – in the lifts mainly, collecting our mail etc – these staff always are smiling and glad to be at work and I am pleased to see them and chat – sometimes I seek them out….my reality returns immediately. Who know’s who you might meet – even in an airport. mmm CH I would have gone up to those clowns in the male pack environment – taking a deep breath- in my heels and suit and maybe a flashing a polite smile – delivering a calm calculated message that they are disrestpectful clowns – maybe easier for a girlie slap – hopefully I will see RAJ soon in Sydney in my travels. You never know who you you might meet at an airport.
[...] Invisible People and Pigs [...]
Hi Craig!
Good work with Raj! Yep, you sure would have made his day! One thing I think is rude is if we are eating from paper bags or cups at a food court or in a cafe……………….is to leave the rubbish/wrapping paper/empty bottles/leftover food on the table when there is a visible bin a very short distance away! As a service worker…………I always pick up after myself.
As a service worker I am used to customers pointing at what they want while chatting/doing business on their mobile phones, – while I wouldn’t do it I don’t consider it too rude. When I have lots of customers and staff, (say 4-5) all asking me questions at the same time it’s a challenge as I feel rushed, everyone is in a hurry but I want to give eye-contact, smile and acknowledge everyone while working as efficiently as poss! But I do think……………people should wait till I’ve finished talking until they butt in with their request or question!
As for the buffet…………………I can understand that even though it’s not the best and moderation and control always works better. Some like ‘value for money’ and ‘free food’ and overindulge thinking they will skip the next meal or two then get back in line. However this seldom works for me……………………..keeping control and balance seems to work better but at times it feels challenging changing from the ‘all/nothing’ type mindset to one where more control is retained!
All the best!
Pip
@Amy. While I think that the lack of respect and good manners are a sign of the times I do not think it is just these times we live in. One of my favourite sayings by Fred Astaire is. “The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any”. Good manners and respect for others will continue to erode over time if we do not be the change for future generations.
Hi Craig,
Good job being a good man.
But the hug would have been nice.
On pigs:
My favorite Chinese and sushi restaurant does a buffet during certain hours. Very disturbing. The service people are suddenly no longer “invisible” when dishes need to be replenished.
And 2 or 3 overloaded trips at a minimum before dessert will insure you get your money’s worth. (!?)
On invisible people:
The cleaning person on my floor at work used to Captain a military ship in his homeland, but immigration issues have made it impossible for him to work in his field here. He’s happy and grateful to have a job. He has a difficult accent to understand, but it’s been fascinating to hear his stories. I rarely see other people interacting with him…
I don’t think enough people take the time to show appreciation so I love the challenge.
BTW, I screw up in other areas
Hey Craig !!
(
Hate to have to admit it, but your #1 observation relates to someone I know… very closely
I personally don’t like to sit in the lounge, I’d rather walk around the airport if I have to wait for a flight. But he insists on going there and… yes… makes a beeline for the food, even if he’s just eaten. Makes no sense whatsoever to me.
As for invisible people… well, I used to be too darned shy to attempt conversation but I have always thanked the people who set my table, collect my plate, cup etc. Recently though, I’ve often found myself starting conversations with shop assistants, waiters and others with whom I come into contact.
I have a friend who goes a liiiiittle overboard… when asked politely by a female shop assistant “How are you today?” she gushes “A lot better since meeting you !!” She tends to forget that not all females are… ahem…. attracted to other females !!!
{{HUG}}
Tina
Hey Craig… me again !
Almost forgot to tell you… after your post entitled The Most Powerful Drug: Belief, I went about tracking down a copy of the book you mentioned, It’s The Thought That Counts. I couldn’t find it in any of the local bookshops but one of them had it listed in their online store. The shop assistant very kindly gave me a card with a code to enter for a 10% discount and delivery was free. It arrived last Tuesday, I started reading it late evening and was half way through it before I went to bed. Got through all but the last 20 pages on Wednesday evening and finished it on Thursday. Me… who very rarely reads a book. Wow !!!!! I can feel the difference in my life already !!! And now I’ve started on You’ll See It When You Believe It, which my daughter loaned me amongst a pile that she recommended late last year.
{{HUG}}
Tina
Buffets may make it worse, but it is food in general that brings out the worse in people, even nice people. My first job when I was 19 years old was as a line worker in a cafeteria. I learned really quickly that people act different around food than they usually do. You do have some nice people and you have the pigs that you were talking about. People, in general, are different around food.
Craig, don’t you dare work on your anger in this situation. Those men needed to hear and see how you reacted and responsed to Mr. Raj. I always am appreciative of other people around me, especially those who are working around me. Your challenge is easy to do. I already do it. Being a child of incest, I am always aware of how others are treated.
What a nice post today. And, it made me glad I live in Canada. Luckily, I don’t see very much of what you write. Canadians would probably have said “Sorry” to Raj as he was cleaning up.
Craig,
Great message! I was totally pissed by the end of it.
The one thing (well there were many) I loved about my father who was a physician was how well he treated EVERYONE. He grew up VERY poor during the depression but as his financial and social status went up he never forgot from where he came from.
So we were taught from a very young age to treat everyone with respect, thank those who wait on you and to tip well because “its hard to make a living on minimum wage.” These are messages i have tried to teach my kids and I know without a doubt they would have thanked Raj and my older son would have chatted him up for hours if allowed. That makes me proud as a mom.
I have observed people since I was a teen. I am now 44. I know exactly what you are talking about. At one time I worked at Marineland. Some good people and some who are just plain pigs. I was a janitor there. I wondered though do these people do these things at home? Observing people is at times better than watching tv. More entertainment. I wondered though when working at Marineland if it was not for these pigs then would I have a job to do? As for free food and drinks I think because they feel they pay enough for flights since it was offered free they took it. Yet I like to see them giving something for free. Highly unlikely. If each and everyone of us did our part and gave a little this would cause a ripple effect. I also am a people person. For this reason I too write a blog called aidpage people helping people in hopes to help make the world a better peaceful place. People in my opinion are pigs cause they just think they can. Its not right in my book but they do it anyway. As for Raj he knows he is worth something. It does take alot of self worth to be cleaning up after rude pigs. We all learn from others too good or bad. Great post
I been one of those invisible people in my past work and it is true…you are a non-entity – some people acknowledge you, but on the whole you do not exist.
I always insist my children say please and thankyou to the people who provide service to us, its just should be that way – no arguments about it.
Hi Craig. You may/may not remember me.
“Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.” (Socrates)
I too have been raised to thank and acknowledge others especially those working while I am holidaying (so to speak) they work just as hard as I do at their job and I am thankful for it.
As for the food thing – not sure whats up there – but as a loveable fattie working thru her issues I think it is a case of thers food lets eat!!!!
A hard thing to overcome in the early stages of life improvement but well worth it to eat normally!!!!
Nice post Craig, having finished your article I started to think about invisible people I come across day-to-day – well, I unexpectedly started to cry…… the most invisible person I know is me (a mother to 4 children). Like all mums I struggle to carve out any time for myself or put myself first so, if you don’t mind, I’m going to focus a some time, care and energy on myself this week and I’ll see if it helps with my visibility issues
I’m lookin at YOU whilst nodding profusely. Watcha gunna do about it? Hows about a hug!
Thanks for your thoughts guys – keep ‘em coming. Enjoy your Monday – it’s a cold morming here in Melbourne today… Brrrr..
Where are my Ugg boots?
Very nice post Graig and yes you had every right to be mad at those blokes. It is so interesting to people watch, no matter where you are. At times it can be quite comical and sometimes I get a kick out of it when they notice i am watching them they. It seems to bring out a lot of different reactions, mostly good ones.
As far as giving others throughout your day a smile or an aknowledgement i have to say it makes me feel good when I know I have brightened somone else’s day. It would be a much better world if we could all take a moment out of our selfsishness and bring at least one person a day some joy…just showing others that you care can change this world.
I couldn’t concur more heartily with the post and the great comments. Time and time again I am frustrated by people’s lack of “common courtesy” and wish that instead of being an almost invisible female myself I was a “ballsy confident person” who would say something to them. I once said something to a reception worker that I used to report to each and every week where she had no customer service skill and could never manage a smile or a hello or ever remember who I was. I stated “gee, you must have the most boring job imaginable”. She huffed and puffed and went red and said “why do you say that?” I told her it was because she never smiled. I then offered her a “have a nice day”. The next time I saw her she said “good morning” but sadly it didn’t last. Now I just get dark looks from her and I know she talks about me to her co-workers. Some people are just beyond help. I will persist with my journey though of being nice to all.
I had a job where I was always at conferences, traveling and sitting in the executive lounges. I was one of those pigs that would eat and drink whether I felt like it or not. The really sad thing is that the food isn’t that good, and it is exactly the same at each airport around the country. Why I felt like I HAD to eat I really don’t know, but the result was a whopping 18kg weight gain in one year!!
Thankfully I had a light bulb moment and I’m (almost) back to my old weight.
Along with the weight loss, I also moved to a small country where nobody is invisible. It is fantastic to walk down the street to have people smile at you and often greet you by name.
craig, i am so grateful i found your blog – love it!!
Morning from Cairns – no ugg boots required..! This example is not limited to free food or airports sadly – it’s everywhere! When there is an impending cyclone here you should see the amount of people who rush to the stores to buy food – like there going to run out of supplies in a week. NOT!
something like that!
On the other – saying hi to invisible people – good reminder! What do they say about it takes so many muscles to frown but only 2 to smile
Cheers
Ange
I wonder this myself sometimes.
I had a great role model in my father, who always tries to make sure everyone knows they are appreciated. He should have been something other than a computer salesman. He understands human behaviour, and the value of the work “Thank You.”
(Sometimes running his own business, he forgets this, but that’s another story).
I work as an engineer in a hospital, so I know all too well how it feels to be invisible.
As a manager, I also know what it’s like to be the person who notices someone.
I had a draftsman working very closely with me, and when we had completed the project, I said “Thank you very much, you’ve done a wonderful job and I appreciate your help” (I was new in the organisation at the time…
And to my surprise, he teared up!! He told me that in 20 years with the company, not one person has ever said thank you to him, or told him he was doing a good job…
I promptly left that company, because there is no way I want to work for people like that!!
After that epic story… Good blog
Ideal after I spent over 12 hours in an airport yesterday!!
<3 Jess
Hi Craig
In usual Craig style – great post today…an oh so very true. I too travelled freqently in a past lifetime and totally concur with your observations at the members lounge. I frequently travelled with another collegue who would purposefully request a later flight so that he could down the free beer / wine and food. Mind you, he was probably one of the most senior managers in our department…it use to make me cringe travelling with him.
On nother note – I one had a employer who would always throw used tea bags in the kitchen sink at work for the junior to clean after him. I pulled him up on this several times, he just laughed but continued to do this. I wonder if his wife would have been so kind? Probably not that’s why he felt the need to go on his power trip at work…sad stuff.
Gullu….AKA – No. 1 CH fan.
Oh wow, amazing I have been so ANGRY the last three weeks with human behaviour, and the advice I got from my family was to take a supplement! Oh please what is it these days we aren’t able to stand up and say you KNOW WHAT your behaviour IS NOT ACCEPTABLE… I mean at least if ppl eat 5000 calories they have to carry it around, yes we have to look at it but if people are PIGS do we have to put with it!
Well I don’t think so…. I have been bullied for over 3 years at work and its not because Im over weight, its not because I cant stand up for myself .. as I am none of these it is SIMPLE people are PIGS (and some not so cute!)
Well enough was enough and the firs t girl, got the sack, and then when the remaining PIGS decided to go again enough was enough! I like to think that maybe they are just STUPID and not MALICIOUS but then I found… all this crap in writing about me.. .. I could bore you all with there issues but to be honest I DON’T CARE< THEY ARE PIGS and enough was enough … I finally took it to my Director who well couldn’t believe it… IT IS HARD TO LIVE VALUES In the workplace and when you DO WELL wow your under attack.. Long and the short of it … She was too scared to take action SO I DID..
Result – promotion and formal apology! Lesson for me…I will not tolerate any of this one minute longer than I have to!
If people are PIGS I will let them roll together now…but I wont be being their farmer!
In regards to the invisible people… I do, do this daily… as I believe everyone is important … so with your prompt I saw our cleaner at the photocopier and I walked over asked how her weekend was… etc etc…she was like Kate congrats on the new job.. funny how she is one of the first to congratulate me in the company and trust me the rest have noticed…
Anyway I have decided with all my anger etc I really do need to do something with it so rather than procrastinate on opening my own rehab I mean I wanted the perfect picture my own business to fund it, I didn’t want Governmnet assistance to do it as I wanted to be self reporting and have more control over …blah blah I have decided to JUST do it… And I will tell you what I WILL NOT TOLERATE PIGS in it!
I have come across a similar thing (re the invisible people) and it makes me just as mad. At work I sometimes stay back several hours after knock off time (I get so much more done without interruptions). One of our Executive Managers is often here at the same time. At around 6.30pm the cleaners come to our floor. When they walk in, our EM doesn’t even look up from his computer screen. If the vaccuum near him, he will give them a death stare as if to imply that they should vaccuum more quietly and stop rudely iterrupting such an important man *cough-asshole-cough*.
When they get to my area, I move out of the way for them. I say hello, their faces light up and we have a chat. I am on their Christmas card list and they are on mine… what’s wrong with that?
Well, you should have heard Mr Important EM when he witnessed two of them give me Christmas cards over the holiday period. “What are they for?” “What do they want?” The word ‘they’ was almost spat out as if they were members of the Ku Klux Klan. “Do you actually speak to them?” Ummmm, yes? I was too dumbfounded to say anything else. I couldn’t believe the guy was for real and had he started laughing and said “just jokes” I wouldn’t have found it funny. He wasn’t joking though. Twerp.
Some people I don’t understand… never will.
I recently returned from Ho Chi Minh City and was fortunate enough to stay in a beautiful French colonial hotel. I observed both Invisible People and Pigs every morning at the breakfast buffet. The way some Westerners treat the Vietnamese is so disgusting it made me ashamed to be of them. We thanked and smiled at people who helped us and were rewarded with bright smiles and EVEN better service (if that were possible).
One morning a tiny little French woman was yelling at me in her native tongue (didn’t have to speak French to understand she was upset) and gesticulating wildly. I told her to relax and that I would move to a nearby table. A waiter came running to help me relocate and she started shrieking at him. This did me in – I started giggling and the poor waiter did his best not to laugh but a smile twitched about his lips all the same.
She had the good grace to try to make eye contact with me but I ignored her. Let her be embarrassed all by herself.
Great post as usual Craig!
I’m always amazed at how much people drink in the frequent flyer lounges and on the flights!! It’s like it might be their last ten beers/champagnes so they better keep drinking…
I love how you acknowledged Raj – hope the guy knows that a big man hug is coming his way next time you see him
I make a point to say ‘thank you’ to seemingly invisible people and teach my kids to do the same. I also teach them that there is no job beneath anyone or menial e.g. if we didn’t have the person who cleans the toilets at the shopping centre, then imagine what state they’d be in. That person is doing us a service and we should be grateful for it.
As for those rude, arrogant pricks – I’m glad you gave them a serve. How sad and empty their lives must be that they think it’s appropriate to behave in that way. (plus they probably have small you-know-what syndrome ;P )
I hate eating in food courts for the same reason – the amount of gluttony by already overweight people puts me off my food. and some of the things parents buy their little kids to eat! geez. And Im not a huge greenie but the amount of glitzy, branded ackaging waste is appalling. And then the number of families who finish eating and get up and walk away without a backward glance pees me off. put your rubbish in the bins doofus. no wonder those food court cleaners look so miserable all the time. i think these people would have to be the most invisible in the world though the couple of times I have engaged them in conversation has ended in a 15 minute tirade about their terrible life! Geez, I just asked how your day was, no need to beat me across the head with it! lol
My boss is one of those nice people who thank me for my efforts. I say thanks & tell him its my job, but still greatly appreciated.
I cant stand people who cant even say a “good morning” to the bus driver. I even thank the bus driver when I get off.
I’m a firm believer in good manners & will pick people up on it if they dont show theirs. Its not hard to say “please” or “thankyou”. Its not even that hard to say “good morning” to fellow walkers….runners are too quick & cyclists even quicker….besides, I think there’s a code….you only acknowledge the ones doing the same as you!! ha ha ha
As for pigs…..I used to suffer that mentality about getting my moneys worth…..now I just eat if I’m hungry or be a piggy if I see a favourite!! ha ha
Hey Craig…thanks & once again, a great topic
Pet
xoxo
I have to tell you that I am one of the invisible. I am a MOTHER. I am not thanked for going out at 2.00 am to pick my child (so I thought) from various parties (sorry – gatherings), only to end up dropping off anything up to another 6 kids to their various homes – not one thank you, EVER. I seem to spend hours doing their laundry, cleaning the house, cooking meals – again no thank you, only criticism if meal is not up to the usual standard, or house not clean enough, or “where is that top I put out 5 minutes ago”. They are only nice when they want – money, food, lifts to shops – without notice. “Mum, going to party in 10 minutes, can you take me to shops for new outfit, card, present, meet friends”, etc. I could just scream some days.
Spent 5 straight days making 2 pirate costumes for 2 of them – missed out totally on my own work – BUT they at least said THANK YOU.
I do take notice of the invisibles and always say thanks or at least smile.
Free food – I admit I would have some – but only a small portion, and only if a bit peckish. Others are just pigs and I say – “let them wallow”, one day they will regret their piggery – but it will be too late. What happens to the food that is not eaten ? Probably thrown out – though old peoples homes could certainly use it. Or better yet, homeless shelters.
I have worked in a Sydney airport lounge on a casual basis at times and happen to know some of the workers there. I can definitely confirm that they are ‘invisible’ to most people who go there. But as someone who has spent time with people like Raj, they are some of the most humble people I have ever met.
I have made some of the exact same observations as you Craig. Watching people on their phones as these workers pick up after them and have often wondered why they don’t say thank you or acknowledge him. You’ve worked it out.. they’re pigs.
You’re doing something wonderful Craig – you’re giving the ‘invisible people’ a chance to be noticed.
Big hug for you ()
Let’s face it, Craig, you’re a nice, thoughtful, sensitive guys. Another truth is that there are a lot of pigs out there. As for the invisible people, I always notice them for some reason. I think’s it’s just the pigs out there who don’t see them.
About the free food, I was guilty of that “it’s free” mentality when I went to a conference in Adelaide last year, which was followed shortly by another conference in Coffs. I learnt my lesson, as I spent the next 6 weeks working off the kilos.
1 – About buffets…some people are gluttons and some have other issues. I, personally, have to be careful around buffets and free stuff because I did without alot as a child living in poverty and there’s some part of the adult-me that feels like I need to make up for it. I never want to feel hunger like that ever again, so therefore I indulge. Indulging means I am lucky enough to have enough to eat.
2 – Plenty of people are pigs, especially in the upper class lounges where it’s normal behaviour. They’ve never worked a shit job like Raj does and will probably never have to. Entitlement is so ugly. Once you’ve experienced that type of work, you will never take another Raj for granted. It’s hard work, you constantly deal with awful people and you don’t bring home a lot of money.
I worked as a waitress and the worst of my clients were the oil & gas executives – they’re rude, they think they can do and say whatever they want, and -here’s the kicker- they are awful tippers. My best clients were usually the construction tradespeople, believe it or not. Even homeless people were better clients – those who actually took the time to say please and thank you.
Please, people, have a little compassion and don’t be an asshole to others. Taking a few moments to be considerate is uncommon and will be gladly noticed.
Hello, Mr. Harper,
I try to practice acknowledging those invisible people and the “ordinary” folks wherever I go, and try to use the person’s first name when I can, in grocery stores, ticket lines, waiting rooms, restaurants, etc. You never know what a kind word or acknowledgement might mean to someone.
Just this past Saturday, I was flying to Philadelphia and struck up a conversation with my seat neighbor.– and not surprisingly we had numerous things in common She had also shared that her mother was dying, As we gathered our belongings to disembark, I said “I hope your mother has a peaceful transition”. She stopped, looked at me, and thanked me, appreciating the thought and perspective of that statement. She had been struggling with her imminent loss and was comnforted by the sentiment I expressed. And it made me feel better, knowing I had provided her some small measure of comfort.
Oh yes, sometimes dear Craig, observing can turn our stomachs. Peoples actions can sometimes (well most times) be intolerable. I made a choice a very long time ago to never see any job as lesser than my own. In fact, my mother was a room maid and kitchen hand for many years and I remember thinking just how important these jobs were.
I also remember a while back when a good friend of mine asked me out for dinner and was rude to the waitress who was serving our table. I was so angered by this, I asked him to stop his silly behavior and never to ask me to dinner again unless he could be kinder to all people… Fortunately I have no separation issues and no longer socialize with this person.
People feel they are better and bigger than others, and especially those who look less Australian. Raj, I suspect was not the typical “Australian” looking alpha male, so he was ignored. This is my observation. And most people are racist and rude, thinking the world will wait on them forever…. Some day the tables will turn (or not). It really does not matter either way to me. I just know that when I am out and about, I acknowledge those who are around me and who serve me at the time. My parents worked exceptionally hard and as immigrants to this “lucky country” showed us that we could all live in harmony together. Admittedly dad would have loved to have us married off at a young ripe age to an Italian man, but that’s another story.
I guess like people attract like minded. And these guys were shallow, possibly in every way. I can only thank you (not that you need it Craig) for acknowledging Raj. And keep spreading the love.
Regards,
Maria
Great stuff! And thankyou.
I say thankyou and show appreciation to those (anyone) I happen to meet in my life.
My kids don’t like my friendliness / kindness… are embarressed by it. It’s a strange situation to be in.
So I grapple with my desire to be good to my fellow community while staying an ok person with my kids.
HECK!
I guess it’s just one of those challenges of being a parent?
I can cope!
Have a great day!
Amanda
Great post.
It really does make a difference to just smile or make a comment to a total stranger or someone you know. Ive had people help me or make a nice comment I dont even know and it really can change your day!
But as for those dirtbags in the airport. I too have very dark thoughts about where they might like their coffee and milk but thank God for people like Raj.
It truly is the little things that make a difference.
Observation 1: People want to get their “money’s worth” if free food/drink is provided. I guess it’s that mentality that they don’t want to lose out if they don’t eat, even if they’re not hungry.
Observation 2: It’s hard to watch rude people be like that. It’s harder to change them. I guess the only thing we can do, is be that change we want to see….Yeah yeah yeah, I know…but we can only control ourselves, and hopefully…hopefully, someone takes notice and decides to do the right thing.
I just read up on Wallace Wattle’s Science of Getting Rich. The chapter on the impression of increase…to leave each person you come into contact better than before. We want others to have what we want…I don’t believe we can receive our desires, if we don’t want the same for others. We can only receive that which we give.
Great post. Thanks!
Interesting post,
In my opinion, acknowledgement eg. please, thank you, a smile or a nod is a given, regardless of whether they’re a CEO or the cleaner.
The only issue I have with your post (love your posts and not having a go at you at all) would be someone’s motivation for acknowledging an invisible person. Genuine interest, conversation or sympathy is fine. However, in my opinion, for someone to believe that giving an invisible person 5 mins of their time in conversation would somehow make their day is condescending and belittling in itself.
Being of indian descent, many people just assume that I’m one of the invisible people (many indian people are quiet and almost subservient, must be a cultural thing) and are almost shocked to find that I’m not the yes sir, thank you sir kind of person. And yes, some people do approach me with a condesending attitude and it is infuriating…
Perfectly said, why is so hard to show acknowledgment a simple thank you goes a long way.
Thanks for the article Craig
Craig, I have thought long and hard about this for a long time….where does niceness get you in the cut and thrust of the big wide world? Where is the financial reward of that attitude? If it was extremely financial rewarding, the whole world will be full of nice, considerate people. Instead we get rewarded for being manipulating, controlling, low-lifes. That is why I like Hong Kong, the people there are considerate, thoughtful and kind. And it does not cost to have that rapport. On the other hand, go to America, and you have to tip to get that attitude (not all the time). If you don’t, you are dirt!
But hell…life is about procreation, destruction and the drama that goes with dog-eat-dog attitude of the western world. Somewhere in that, I must do what I must do.
Which is to be honest in the moment, and not let that drama become larger than the positive well being within my persona.
If that drama caused by the trampling attitudes of others swells within, than my positive thrust becomes consumed and overtaken by the injustice of it all, leaving me to wallow in the very misery these l-ls project onto the world.
Leave them small, and don’t allow their vibe to expand within.
For to do otherwise, I am attempting to control them in my environment, just as they are controlling their environment through their outrageous inconsideration.