Before we get under way with today’s instalment, I thought I’d let you Queenslanders know that my good Buddy Matt Collins from Fatburners is hosting an event this Friday night which will definitely be of interest to some of you. Matt is bringing Shannan Ponton – the uber trainer from Biggest Loser – up to the Sunshine State to inspire, educate and motivate you Banana Benders to physical perfection. Well, improvement at least! You can find out all about it here.
On with today’s Post…
Hello Grasshoppers. Today’s post is as close as I get to a rant. Kind of like getting in your new car and just going for a drive while not really heading anywhere in particular. The following discussion is more about the drive than it is the destination. While I’ve touched on some of the subject matter previously, my recent real world encounters tell me that we need to re-visit this conversation from time to time because it seems that when it comes to building (and keeping) our best body, many of us are still missing the point and looking for answers in all the wrong places. If you’re a person who needs to lose a few pounds and you’re feeling a little presh today, you might wanna come back tomorrow. As you might deduce, I had no real plan when I started writing this, I just put my fingers on the keys and the following is what transpired. While I have probably asked as many questions as I’ve given answers, some of you will find the discussion relevant and insightful. And some, confronting and challenging.Life in the New Release Section
A few days ago while perusing the new releases section of my local video store, I found myself in the general vicinity of two women who were very involved in a louder-than-necessary conversation while their two little treasures demolished the place. Apparently their respective boys attend the same school or pre-school (not totally sure, wasn’t paying that much attention). For the most part, I was immersed in my very important business of reading DVD covers and debating whether I’d go for the action blockbuster, the psychological thriller or the Arthouse thing that I will never quite understand; when the ending comes I’m always surprised. And confused. And a bit disappointed. Anyhoozle, there I was up to my elbows in DVDs when I heard the following sentence come from one of the mothers:
“Oh yes, Charlie is very powerfully built, he’s going to be a big strong boy when he grows up.”
Natch, I couldn’t help myself.
The Video Store Detective
I turned discretely – kind of like an covert operative in one of the Bourne movies – to take a curious peek at exactly how powerful a five-year-old body could be. All my investigation revealed was a skinny kid and a fat kid wreaking havoc in a video store. Or perhaps in the interest of political correctness I should say something like… “all I could see was an athletic-looking, slim child playing with his muscular, powerful five-year-old buddy”.
Please.
Powerful Like a Donut
Depending on how long you’ve been dropping in here at me-dot-com, you may or may not know that as well as being an adorable, gifted, gorgeous and particularly humble teenager 
, I was also a large one. And not large in a tall kind of way. I wish. No, large in a… really fat… kind of way. Of course we could always describe my fat teenage body as something a little more socially acceptable and politically correct – stocky, thick-set, powerful or endomorphic perhaps – to make us all feel better about obese Craig, but really, what’s the point? Fat is fat. I laughed my arse off (metaphorically) the first time I heard some stupid adult describe their fat child as ’powerfully built’ (yes, I had heard the expression before the video store). Powerfully built? Are we looking at the same thing? Gotta be honest Mrs. Smith, there ain’t too many powerfully built five-year-olds. Unless of course your five-year-old happens to be a Pit Bull Terrier. Let’s be clear, the ‘Rock’ is powerfully built. A Hummer is powerfully built. Shaq is powerfully built. A Harley is powerfully built but telling yourself (and others) that your obese child is powerfully built is like calling a donut a high-performance food because it has plenty of calories in it. It just ain’t true.
Reality Check
Sorry to drag your deluded self kicking and screaming into the light of logic and reality but your child is obese. Not muscular. Not powerful. No, fat. And before you stamp your feet and start pouting, me (the exercise scientist and ex-fat kid) acknowledging that your son is fat (not powerfully built) is not an insult, not a criticism or any kind of judgment on him as a person, it’s merely an observation and honest assessment of his physiology. He might be academically brilliant, artistic, creative and the most thoughtful, gorgeous, amazing child to ever roam the planet but he ain’t powerfully built. Now, you can get offended or enlightened. Precious or practical. Excuse my honesty but giving a fat kid another name doesn’t actually help anyone over the long term. And by the way, in case nobody has noticed, all the political correctness hasn’t helped. As a generation of people, we’re still fat.
Well that’s not totally true; we’re fatter.
Choices, Behaviours and Results
Ironically, the solution to the current obesity crisis in western society is not more diets, not more gyms, not more experts and as contradictory as this may sound coming from an educator, it’s not even more information. We already have more than enough of all of those resources and yet, we continue to get fatter. If those things were the key then we’d be shrinking by the day and clearly, we’re not; take a look around. No, the answer to our current obesity epidemic is for you and I to make different choices. Consistently. And yes, some people will suggest that I am over-simplifying a complex issue (it’s often in their financial interest to do so) and to those folk I would reply, have you ever considered that perhaps you are complicating a relatively simple issue? When we make different choices – with our food, exercise and lifestyle - then we do different things. And when we choose different and do different (with all those body-changing variables) then we create different outcomes. Sorry it’s so simple. I could make it more complex if you like.
Genetic Management
The vast majority of people who are over-weight/fat, find themselves in their current physical predicament because of their decisions and behaviours over an extended period of time. That is, the choices they have made and the action they have taken when it comes to the ‘obesity variables’ such as food, exercise, lifestyle and genetic management. Yes, there are some people who have medical and genetic issues which make it very difficult to inhabit a lean body, but they are in the minority. Even for people who are genetically predisposed to gain weight and fat easier than most (me for example), it still comes down to genetic management, not genetic disposition. That is, what we do with what we’ve got.
Circular Behaviour
The medical profession and the fitness industry can keep having the same Groundhog Day conversations about the same issues and they can keep researching and doing their best to discover the ‘scientific secret’ to cure obesity… or perhaps we could put a few people out of business and simply make different decisions and do different things to our bodies. You may or may not have heard but there’s this new crazy paradigm in the world of weight-loss; it’s called personal accountability. I’m hoping it will catch on. Apparently it involves wacky concepts such as decision making, eating less, moving more, self-control, consistency, commitment and courage. Call me old-fashioned, but personally I’d rather control my own destiny and manage my own physiology via my decisions and behaviours rather than spend my life waiting for the uber weight-loss pill to roll off the production line.
It’s no Accident
Nobody accidentally eats junk food. No, we make that choice. Nobody accidently avoids exercise, that’s another conscious decision. Nobody accidentally watches twenty one hours of TV per week (the Australian average). Nobody accidentally drinks twelve beers on the weekend or eats a family block of chocolate when nobody is watching; that’s a choice too. The sooner we stop attributing our current physical condition to everything other than our choices, the sooner we will begin to deal with the obesity epidemic in a realistic, practical and effective manner. We don’t need more books, weight-loss centres, gizmos, gadgets, gurus or ‘breakthroughs‘. No, we need a generation of people who are prepared to be one hundred percent responsible and accountable for the self-management (decisions, behaviours, habits) of their own body. If an individual chooses and embraces diet, lifestyle and exercise habits that result in him or her being big-boned, thick-set, voluptuous, full-figured… er, fat, then surely the state of that person’s body is largely a result of the decisions made and the action taken. In other words, they have chosen obesity.
Consciously or not. Intentionally or not.
xx 
A natural reaction to articles such as this is for (some) people to become defensive, reactive and even angry. If anger is what results from this article for you, then you might want to explore that anger. When nine people don’t get angry and you do, that kind of emotional reaction says more about you than it does the article. That’s not a bad thing by the way, but it is something to consider once the emotion has subsided. Before you discount what I am saying here today, keep in mind that (1) my intention is always to help and empower people in a real, practical and honest way (2) I care about results and facts not popularity (3) I have spent twenty five years (full-time) working along side thousands of people so I understand the complexities and challenges of creating lasting physical change and (4) whatever we’re currently doing (that is, we the society) isn’t working. If nothing changes, nothing changes and I want things to change.
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{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
…..Apparently it involves wacky concepts such as decision making, eating less, moving more, self-control, consistency, commitment and courage. Call me old-fashioned, but personally I’d rather control my own destiny and manage my own physiology via my decisions and behaviours rather than spend my life waiting for the uber weight-loss pill to roll off the production line…..
What? I have to be responsible for me. C’mon Craig, get with the program. Anything bad that happens to me is NOT my fault. There has to be somone I can sue…err I mean blame so I can feel happy!
Actually I agree. I am a fat kid, fat teenager, fat adult. I am starting to take the responsibility for me. Its hard – but I’m working at it – slowly at my pace. I’m working to get my “lifestyle” rather than “my crazy try now in the hope it will “fix me” and my life will be magically improved”. And part of this is working through the reasons for why I’m fat, why I’ve stayed fat – and working out who helps me stay this way (beside myself – I sheet responsiblity home to me – don’t worry Craig!). Cause (to give the benefit of the doubt) I think some people like me fat cause it makes them feel better. I just have to value myself more than wanting to please them…. Okay, I’m a slow learner – but some things are starting to stick.
And “self-esteem” builders from wonderful (but misguided) people who say “its just puppy fat” or “being powerfully built” doesn’t actually help you own your issue and deal with it – well in my case anyway.
Thanks Craig – this is just the push I need to start me back on the road again, cause I was starting to turn around.
Cheers and ((hugs)), Ghatti
Hi Craig,
Thanks for the reminder about the ‘miracle’ of weight loss. I find myself in heated agreement because I cannot believe how much my body has changed in the past few months (8 kilos gone and still falling).
Your body is a reflection of what you put in your mouth – there is no hiding it. As soon as I stopped putting too much crap in my mouth, I stopped having too much fat on my arse. It’s that simple. No miracle drugs. No gimmicks. No lipo (unfortunately). Just exercise and eating less. Boring but true.
And guess what? My genetic makeup is still the same. Funny that.
Have a great week.
Christina xxx
Yo Craig,
Agreed. Apologies – this comment may be off on a tangent …
I think it’s a denial thing. We don’t say fat because then it can’t really be true, can it? Big boned just sounds better … And parents probably don’t want to admit their child is fat.
I think parents probably think by not saying the “F” word they are sparing their child significant pain, but I can’t help thinking that by not calling a spade a spade, they could be perpetuating the whole living-in-denial thing.
There is always a sensitive and supportive way to say what needs to be said, and the parents need to be told. Young children (I’m talking littlies here) aren’t in control of their diets, the parents are. Ergo, it’s the parents fault. Or is that just plain nasty?
Probably getting off topic here, but the best thing parents can do is be healthy role models. Wouldn’t that break the fat child-fat teen-fat adult cycle.
Like you said Craigo, it does come down to choices. We could drown our fat sorrows in chocolate cake, or we can take responsibility, grow some balls and make the changes we need.
It works, yeah? Like Christina said: no miracles, no potions, no lipo … just good choices and hard work.
Sorry for the essay. Bnd not a flippant comment in sight … some kind of record!!
Enjoy your week, everyone.
Em
( ) x
Craig – love the post.
Over the last several years my weight slowly increased. By “doing the math” I figured out most of my weight gain was due to my (now former) habit of drinking a soda a day.
140 calories per soda X 365 days a year = 51,100 extra calories a year. Based on a 2,000 calorie a day diet – the 1 coke a day was the equivalent of an EXTRA 25 DAYS worth of food every year.
I’m making better choices now, but it will be a while before I loose the years of extra soda calories.
Craig, you have this wonderful ability to find the right words. You give shape to what most people only feel at the ‘cellular level’ and never truly realize.
Please go on, the human being of today is totally lost in a sea (or swamp?) of information and does need a beacon.
Natalia
Amen to all your post.
Great article! Believe it or not, I’ve seen some pretty powerfully built kids: my little sister’s karate classes, in my son’s swim class, and out at the play ground. I’m always impressed by their little defined calves, and abs. They’re like little body builders some of them. I don’t see that much in McDonalds though… hmmm… correlation maybe…
- You rule, Craig!
Advocating personal responsibility for all of the choices we make?
What a concept.
Thanks Craig – I needed to ‘hear’ this as I tried to talk myself out of going to swim laps this morning. Exercise is not an option – it’s a part of my life now. My journey to being fit and healthy is not over nor am I giving up.
Thanks for the ‘between the eyes’ reminder on my personal accountability. And thanks for not softening the message – tough love is not a bad thing – no matter how uncomfortable it can be (to give OR receive).
Hi Craig. Haven’t commented for a while…. but always reading your fab posts
Small world, Nambour PCYC is just up the road from me and my Husband and I have had the pleasure of dealing with Matt. He’s a lovely guy with an obvious passion for what he does. How exciting to have Shannon visiting our humble little PCYC here in little old Nambour… I’m desperately trying to clear my diary for Friday afternoon !
By the way, I’m just stoked to report in on my own journey if I may. Total weight loss to date – 22kg. Total body fat % lost – 11%. In the last two weeks I’ve put on 1.5 kgs of muscle and dropped my metabolic age by 5 years !!!! I also did a waist measurement today and have lost a total of 18cm from my waist. I’ve gone from size 16-18 to a size 12 and even some of my size 12′s are starting to loosen up a bit…. The Noosa Tri Festival is coming up in October and I’ve entered the Run, Swim, Run event.
I agree with you wholeheartedly. We need to take responsibility for the choices we make and start make consistently better choices. No more weight loss quick fixes. I’m tired of seeing them advertised, Instead of all the promises for success, people just need a BIG FAT REALITY CHECK !!!!
Cheers
Nicole
x
Hi Craig
Thanks for the perfectly timed article. I’m new to you and your site, and I’m enjoying what you have to say.
Very recently I’ve been exploring the fact that I have choices in everything I do. Whether to have the chocolate or not, whether to go the the gym or not. I’m happy to say that I’m taking more control of my destiny and because I want to change my lifestyle and not diet, positive choices are essential.
Not having the chocolate cake isn’t denial, because I can have the cake whenever I like, BUT… I can choose not to have it now, or today, instead, I can have it tomorrow or next week. This is so simple, yet it has taken me almost forty years to figure out. I’m not denying myself the pleasure of the cake, I’m facilitating an improvement towards greater health and happiness, and guess what – it feels great! Don’t get me wrong, if I really want the cake, I’ll have it and enjoy it, but then I’ll have a salad for dinner and go for a walk, and choose not to have another cake for a while.
Thank you for your positive reinforcement of what I know deep down – your articles help me bring this knowledge to the surface and encourages me in my quest for taking responsibility for my own well-being and happiness and for not being a victim.
I know I can do this, and have proven it to myself by making better choices with both food and exercise resulting in an as yet modest weight loss, but a hugh increase in my own self-confidence that I can influence my life.
Blessings to all.
Karen xx
Hi Craig,
**Peeking out from behind the pc** I’m a lurker (there I said it, and I’m posting for the first time after reading for… oh I dunno… years it seems).
I am one of those genetically disposed fat people. Your rant doesn’t make me angry, it just makes me depressed. I know that I can be less fat than I am now with more exercise and better food choices, but holy cow its hard some days. As a mother of two ‘lean, atheletic, sporty’ types I cop many comments asking me in a roundabout way ‘how do you manage to have kids like that?’ Ah, hello, cause I’m like that – on the inside, or at least I was until middle age and the hormones started winning and having their way with me. People like you see me at the end of a five k run and think ‘oh isn’t she good, starting out exercising… I wonder what she eats?’ Ah, hello, I exercise everyday, and I eat less crap than you (just more than MY metabolism can handle…)
What I need is a ‘keep going, being healthy and fit is worth it’ pill… can they research that?
Cheers
Stacey
Hi Craig,
Have to say i agree with your post 100%.
As adults we are responsible for what food goes in our mouth and how much excercise we do but as parents we are even more responsible for our childrens diet and eating habits. I am sick of seeing “fat families” to be blunt. We are more educated about food and lifestyle today more than ever before yet our kids are getting fatter.
As a mother of a 2 year old and a 3 year old, I am more healthier and slimmer than I was before I had children. I didn’t want to be one of those whinging mothers who blamed having a baby for being fat. I lost 15 kilos after both children by eating healthier and by excercising more, no its not rocket science.
From making healthier lifestyle choices I have noticed other benefits such as healthier skin, better mood, less headaches and pms symptoms have improved greatly.
Lets get moving!
HI Craig and everyone else.
I couldnt agree with you more craig. It is an excuse. People make so many of them and they end up fooling themselves.
And parents teach their kids how to do this. Its sad. I have been overweight for most of my life and grown up in a house full of people overweight.
I am so glad i met my partner who is able to help me and also teach my kids the correct way and that it is all about moderation. It is ok to have the chocolate bar or cake but only in MODERATION!!
I also think its wrong for people to tell kids off for saying something about someone being FAT when they are only being honest. And yes i used the F word. FAT FAT FAT. Its not that bad. Anyone would think it was a swear word.
Yes we should teach our kids about peoples feelings and that saying some ethings may hurt someones feelings but atleast i know my kids are not going to grow up fat as they are aware of the efects of that.
My kids have told me that im FAT before. And yes it did hurt but only because i felt guilty that they had to see me this way and that i couldnt run around with them like i should be able to.
If we start being honst with ourselves now then maybe future generations wont have the same issues that we do and will grow up to be better people and lead better lives.
Have a good day everyone
Amanda
HI Craig I ‘m was just about standing and applauding whilst I was reading – what a fab article!! I was just thinkink the same thing on Saturday whilst sitting at a local shopping center eating lunch ( sushi I might add!!) and looking at all the powerfully built people around me some did resemble mountains not rocks
what are these people thinking or maybe not thinking, scoffing down all this greasey crap but drinking a diet coke to make up for it??!!
As a parent, who was overweight as a tennager and have heard and used all those lovely descriptions too, I have been trying to teach my kids about making healthy choices when it comes to eating out, etc. Just on Sunday I had this same conversation with my son who is built like a bean pole.
I dragged my family to town at 7.30am to come and climb the lookout stairs with me for an hour – killer exercise that never gets any easier?? Any how I promised the kids and hubby they could go for breakfast if they wanted to pike out at any stage which they did after a few sets.
Imagine my horror when my son (10) lets it slip that he had a hamburger and chips for breakfast!! He knew he was in trouble and hubby was looking very sheepish when I quizzed him on why he was allowed to order the breakfast in the first place!!!!!!! Hubby’s reply was that he had done a few sets of stairs so he thought he could eat it !!
I may be wrong but a lot of my aquaintances and friends and people at my gym go for a very slow walk for a short time or do an exercise class and then justify the piece of cake and coffee at the end by saying they exercised!!??
I was sitting fuming thinking how to stop myself from grabbing hubby in headlock and puching some sense into his thick skull
and calmly told my son that eventhough he was skinny that he had eaten so much fat in that meal that he filling his veins and arteries up with fat. I was a little cruel and told him to ask to see his grandpop ‘s legs where they had to strip the veins out for his 5 bypass operation to keep him alive and was relieved that he actually took some note!! And I told him to have a really close look at my dad as his is morbidly obese and can barely carry himself around! I then told him he had healtier choices and he was old enough to start making them for himself. Hopefully he will real soon!!
Lets all embrace that concept and stop making excuses!
Fyi, Craig, a lot of the research being done by the scientific community is not to find a ‘scientific secret’ to cure obesity, but is, in fact, trying to find the best way to arm and educate children to make better lifestyle choices, i.e. increased physical activity levels and better nutritional choices. Often obese or overweight children don’t have an adult figure in their life to learn this, and also accountability, from.
Last year my kids went to an after school gym program. It was designed to increase fitness and improve co-ordination. In the group was a five year old boy, who was so obese he was unable to run from one side of the gym to the other without being extremely breathless. He actually couldn’t even walk properly as his huge thighs rubbed together, causing him to waddle rather than walk. He was twice the size (maybe even more) of my 5 year old.
The first time I saw this boy, I thought how good it was that his mum had enrolled him in the class. Obviously she was trying to help him get fitter. Whatever had happened in the past to allow this child to become so obese, at least she was doing something about it now, right?
Wrong! I began to take notice of what this mother was feeding her child (and her older, also overweight child). Before the class started she would lay out an array of food on the table – not fruit, or healthy sandwiches, but chocolate, donuts, biscuits or chips. (I know it sounds incredible, but I swear this is true!) Her kids would snack before, during and after the class. When the other kids were given a minute’s break to take a sip from their water bottles, her kids would be shoving donuts down their throats.
The class lasted for 60 mins and finished at 6pm – dinner time. My kids and most other kids at the centre ate nothing during this time. If my kids told me they were hungry, my response was to say that we would be having dinner as soon as we got home. The centre provided cut up fruit for the kids to snack on after class, so any child who was truly hungry could grab a slice of apple or a segment of orange.
After a while this woman’s behaviour got the better of me and I commented on how it must be hard for her kids to run around with so much food in their tummies. (I know, none of my business!) She looked at me and said, “Oh, they need it. They’d never have the energy to exercise without some fuel.”
What hope does those kids have??
Thanks for a great article. I truly hope the I described woman is reading your blog, but somehow I doubt it.
Really sad. That 5 year old will probably end up being a fat teen and adult because of his delusional mother. Being a parent of young kids and talking to other Mums I hear stuff like this ALL THE TIME.
Let me give you more insight Craig as you are kid-free.
This is a competition between parents. Having a big child = I am feeding him/her well = I am doing my job well, in a lot of parents’ eyes.
My son is lean (not because I don’t feed him enough – he is just active and not a huge eater) but isn’t underweight, he is spot-on average for his height. However, I get comments regularly from other mums “Gee James is really thin isn’t he” (no, he isn’t, he’s actually in good proportion to his height, thanks very much); “gosh James still wears size 3 tops? My son’s already into size 4 pants and even some size 5 tops!” (well, James is THREE, so maybe still wearing size 3 tops is normal, dare I suggest?!)
All kids must be weighed regularly and their height measured at a health centre. They’re then put into a ‘percentile’ range for their age. Eg. my son is in the 50th percentile, ie. average. Mums whose kids are in the 90th percentile, or 100th, or “off the chart!” are sooo proud of it, you have no idea!
One Mum I know has a hefty young daughter (funnily enough her Mum is big also). She loves to eat and at age 3, she is obsessed with food and what she can eat next. I find that very scary. Her Mum loves it. She is proud that her daughter is a ‘big girl’ and in the 90th percentile for her age. Her daughter is fed sugary yogurt for breakfast, smarties, choc chip mini biscuits (oh, but they’re the small size ones…for kids..!), crackers laden with MSG for morning tea, cupcakes……and not surprisingly, doesn’t eat any dinner put in front of her (I wouldn’t either if I snacked all day and ate choc-chip biscuits and cupcakes for afternoon tea!).
How is her daughter going to feel when she is a fat teenager or young woman and she can’t break her obsession with (junk) food?
The comment you heard from that mother is just a tiny, tiny insight into a potentially massive problem among kids and their parents.
An issue I feel slightly strongly about, as you can see.
Alison
I truly wish I could edit comments on this site. I so hate it when I post and then see the typos! I meant, “What hope DO those kids have?”
Loved the article, honesty sometimes hurts. I beleive what you are saying about this policital correctness stuff as well. If it walks like a duck and looks like a duck it’s a duck why relable.
i think one of the big mistakes people can make it is to overestimate the amount of calories the exercise they’re doing will burn. Taking a look at some popular (and unhealthy) food choices can be enlightening !!
For example –
1 fast food burger, regular size (1138 kilojoules) has the following exercise equivalents-
70 minutes of walking
29 minutes of running
39 minutes of bike riding,
33 minutes of swimming or 93 minutes of yoga !!
There’s more, but you get the drift.
So often people think ‘Oh I exercise all the time’ so I can have this or that. The only way to really make sure your ‘calorie in/calories out equation’ will lead to weight loss is to keep a record. A Food diary is a great start. Just ‘exercising’ and eating less junk without a ‘doing the math’ won’t work.
Just thought I’d add that thought, ‘cos I think it can be a stumbling block for people who think that just ‘eating less junk and doing a bit of exercise’ will have the desired result.
It may do to begin with, but with limited results.
Oh and it is possible to ‘fire up’ a middle age (or any age) metabolism.
Mon
Okay, so I’ve opened a can of worms, pushed a few buttons and stimulated some interesting discussion and comment. Cool. Thanks for sharing your thoughts guys on a really important topic.
The days of personal replies to every comment are almost over for me but be assured that I read, consider and appreciate every comment from every reader. I will still reply to individual comments when time permits but it will be less often.
A big welcome to our first-time commentors – thanks for coming out of the cyber-shadows.
Keep up the great work team and thanks for being part of this community xx
Hello Craig,
Great article…..
So true & straight to the point that’s what I love about you!!!!
If we don’t change things for the better how can we expect our lives to have full fulfilment & total happiness..
My struggle is not food, not weight but self confidence & being a people pleaser that I am, so wanting to change a few things on how I react, how I deal with certain issues in my life, which I still clearly haven’t which in turn is not doing me any favours…
Need to really work at it to get a better outcome, not just saying it, doing the hard yards to get there no matter how much fear I come across….
Thanks Craig,
Hugs
Charlotte
xxxx
Julie Harwood,
Just in case you weren’t aware, children don’t do the weekly shopping the parents do. You can educate children on food and nutrition till the cows come home, but its the parent/s, guardians granparents etc etc who decide what their children snack on and eat throughout the day. Parents need to be less ignorant and selfish about bad food choices and need to step up and change their ways. I spend all week giving my kids healthy food, only to find out that if my husband takes them out he buys them doughnuts and Big Ms, why? Cos it takes less effort to buy crap than it does to go and buy healthy snacks.
Thanks again Craig for your no-BS-kick-@rse (or NBSKA)
dose of reality.
As mothers we always want to cushion our children from the harsh realities of life and I guess that’s why the mother you overheard was using an incorrect euphemism to describe her fat kid. It doesn’t always help them but it is hard wired into mothers to protect our kids at all costs.
That said, as mothers we also have duty to ensure our children are healthy. Feeding them donuts and chocolate and then calling them ‘powerfully built’ is denial at best and at worst it is neglect.
Some of the healthy programs run at schools are invaluable in arming some kids with information that they aren’t getting at home.
Education rather than blame is what we need.
But a good NBSKA dose of reality also helps.
Hi Craig
How right you are, I have been struggling with my eating lately but I am still exercising so I haven’t completely gone off the rails.
I think the problem is doing before thinking rather than the other way round. One memory your article dragged up from somewhere is “puppy fat” , how often did I hear that while I was growing up, not only describing myself I might add, it seemed to be the way to describe chubby children. What is puppy fat? It is just fat, not some magical extra layer that will disappear when you grow up.
By the way I am a so called lurker and this is my first post,
Thanks
Lucinda
I think that until I could actually say to myself and others that I was FAT, not obese, large, buxom, curvey, my mindset couldn’t change, there was a nice word for was I was (still am). But now I say I’m fat, I’m not on a diet, a diet usually ends, I’m changing my mindset and eating healthy nutritious fuel that my body needs to do the exercise I now want to do. I have a long way to go yet, but I will get there. I am the only person respsonsible for my actions. No one else.
Hi Craig,
I just wanted to agree with everything you’ve said except there are powerfully built 5 year olds. I have a powerfully built four year old and although she is endomorphic like me she eats well and runs from sunrise til bedtime. She is not obese, she has about 20% body fat (which I wouldn’t mind) and she is built like the proverbial brick shit house. She comes up to my waist and she can knock me over with a running tackle. She can take out both her older sisters with one hand while taunting the cat with her other one.
I’m not saying the kid in the video store was like Charlotte, but I think there is a real risk with this kind of stereotyping. It kinda makes me think of the whole era we live in of “you’re big therefore you’re fat and unhealthy and you’re skinny so you must be fit and healthy”. I’d like people to keep in mind that although it is currently fashionable to look like an anorexic toothpick in 2009, however unhealthy the behaviour used to get there, only gorgeous rubinesque women (read: ‘fat chicks’) survived the Black Plague…
Enjoy your week!
Hugs,
Jo
Hi Craig
I love this topic. However it does make my cringe when I hear about the 5 year old powerfully built child because I have a 6 year old powerfully built one also!
Both my husband and I are healthy eaters / regular exercise and we are definately not overweight, however our 6 year old daughter is 125cm and weighs 34.7kg. Which is too much for her height & weight. The issue I have is that I always give her healthy options, but she just LOVES food. If it’s catogorised as edible, she’s into it.
She loves multi grain breads and now I changing from white rice / pasta to the brown option. I made some steamed rice the other day with the view that she may not enjoy it. Wrong, she loved it and was helping herself to another portion as I had told her earlier that this is what we will be eating from now on! She had no concerns.
I am aware that her weight gain is definately attributed to portion control, but I am unable to control her portion controls. At meal times, she checks out everyones plate and sits in the seat with the most food despite me educating her that mum & dad are double her size so we need to each double her portions etc.
What can I do better / different? As I am trying not to put her on a diet but would rather that she grew into her weight. Yes, she is definately growing into her weight with gains each week. I thank god that she is an extremely energetic child as I believe that should would be double her size if she wasn’t.
She is already started to be teased at school, and I am very blunt with her and tell her that if she continues to eat such volumes that she would just continue to get fatter and teased further. Would love to hear you advice! Should I take her to a child nutritionist or is this a waste of our time?
Gullu
Good one Craig. So true. And this can also apply to other aspects of our lives….
“personal accountability” equals accepting 100% responsibility for the decisions we make in our lives regarding food, our unhappy jobs or bad relationships. If I’m angry because I hate my job/relationship/situation, it’s my own fault for choosing it and staying with it…
ROFL, you are hilarious!
Don’t agree Cdn, it’s not my fault but it is 100% my responsibility to accept and or change things. There is a difference in definitions there, fault implies wrong, responsibilty implies empowering and doing something to get a better outcome.
I can’t believe you wrote a lengthy codicil and introductory disclaimer here. This is not at all a controversial post. It’s not a rant either. It isn’t even challenging. It’s obvious. Don’t turn into a wimp. Ditch the disclaimers. I know the Australian government is Draconian on medical advice, but this is not at all a post that needs disclaimers.
Half the world is starving. The other half is struggling with an over-abundance of food. It’s a sad situation.
As you can tell from my Gravatar I need to lose 30 pounds, but I haven’t made an effort. I’m starving right now though. When you’re starving, you’re losing weight. Your body is very upset with you because you are forcing it to burn its fat stores. That is a good thing.
Aliens must think fatness is a genetic trait specific to certain regions of the Earth. Well, the really dumb aliens anyway. Fat parents always have fat children, but it’s not genetics. They eat too much and they feed their kids too much.
Remember also that two scoops of fat free ice cream is worse than one scoop of regular ice cream. At least when you eat the regular ice cream your appetite becomes diminished. With low calorie foods, you just eat more. Reduce the QUANTITY of your food.
Hey Craig.
I know one of my most difficult tasks in life is to live up to that BE 100% RESPONSIBLE. It seems like I have had that sentence thrown at me alot since I left college and went into the real world. As much as I can figure over the last 14 years is this.
Responsibility is a real transpersonal shift from being taken care of by society to taking care of ourselves. As simple as it sounds that so called choice that we don’t make (whether you choose or not its a choice) is a continuation of our ever present up-bringing into this world where everything was given to us. Where we look to everyone for an answer or expect someone else to solve our problems. This is the first half of our life experience we call upbringing and learning where most of our successes are built around the help of others. We become tools that go into this world that are essentially programmed by others in order to receive our doses of life experience, success or whatever you call it.
But, SEEING there is another choice that isn’t supported by anyone, that comes from within, that talks about what we really want without having to defend against other people’s opinions and our own expectations is in my mind extremely difficult. There is a moment where we need to be completely alone and vulnerable to know that what we think and what we choose is actually our own response to the world and not the pre-conditioned programming of others. This moment, whether minutes or months is one of the most uncomfortable places I have ever experienced – anyone who faces this abyss is a real warrior in my eyes.
I think making our own choices is not so difficult – but crossing over that boundary where we are completely stripped naked to see ourselves for the first time with our own power, grace and invincibility is a mighty scary thing – it is, in a sense, a death to an old point of view and with it comes the birth of a whole new perception. We may still have difficulties but the difference is that now we see ourselves doing harm to our bodies, to our self esteem, to our well-being. In the other way, we are merely living our lives hearing alot of talk and mostly engaging in old habits that brought us success and happiness (even if they do contribute to obesity, alcholism, consumerism etc etc).
I would suggest a level of support that helps people seperate their condition(obesity) from their mode of thinking. Finding our own true thoughts will then empower us to give us a real choice in life and a real chance at battling the symptoms of conditioned thinking.
After all, being a muscle bound junkie could also be another form of success in a conditioned world – albeit more physically healthy – mentally and emotionally the same baggage applies.
But I am sure you have it right in your case Craig, right? Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share once again.
Thanks for your honesty and forthrightness. It’s refreshing and exactly what people NEED to hear, if not necessarily what they WANT to hear. After struggling with my weight all my life, I have finally taken a hard look at why I have chosen to do this to myself and what I must do to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Your website has been a great resource, thanks again!
P.S. Things that make you go hmmmm . . . my mom, when I accused her of overfeeding her pet dog, indignantly told me he was big boned! Thought you would get a laugh out of that one.
good point Michael.
i must say craig that when i read your post today i was really annoyed and p@@ed off at you.
I dont think i have chosen to be fat and coming from a family where i suffered verbal,physical and sexual abuse my weight came to be a protection ( mind you it didnt work) but hey when your 12 what do you do?
In having said that,I have now lost who i am i dont think Ive ever known me being slim except for once and i remember feeling great but it was stress and depression at being pregnant and having my partner leave that drove 30 kilos from me, ( the doctor had a fit but i can honestly say it was the best pregnancy ever for me).
Losing weight is easy Ive done it thousands of times but i guess it gets home sick and brings a friend with it ( more weight). I guess Im scared of what i will have to face by losing the weight and dont feel secure in being slim. Ive tried to tell myself and my body i dont need the weight for protection anymore but the body isnt listening to me. Ive managed to lose 10-15 but i give up or it becomes too hard. I was in tears yesterday as i weighted myself and found i was 125 kilos i dont want to be 125 kilos Craig. I look in the mirror and i hate and detest the person looking back. the scripts of how im not good enough and see you cant even do a simple thing keep running and i cant find the stop button, as its so ingrained in me.its times like this i wish i could take a knife and cut the fat off then the problem would be no more but i dont. Iam begining to think that maybe i dont deserve to have or be the person i so badly want to be, or if i know who that person is.
Roberta, I’m sorry you feel the need for sarcasm on what is a very serious topic…childhood obesity. Of course I am aware that children don’t do the grocery shopping, and I couldn’t agree with you more that parents need to be less ignorant and selfish about bad food choices and step up and change their ways. But if it was as simple as that, childhood obesity wouldn’t have reached epidemic proportions, would it? Some of the programs that have been trialled do focus on educating the parents as well, and programs structured this way have shown good results. Just because right now children aren’t purchasing the weekly shopping, is that a good reason for society to sit back and do nothing…”oh well, we’ll teach them good habits when they are overweight and obese adolescents and adults”? Even children make choices, and as they become adolescents and young adults they will make more and more choices about all aspects of life…I was 15 when I had my first part-time job, therefore having a small income that I could make choices about how to spend. So, yes, you are very right with your comment that parents need to be less ignorant and selfish about bad food choices, but unfortunately more action than this will be required to halt and/or reverse the staggering figures on childhood obesity.
I love the last paragraph (It’s no accident), It’s spot on.