Virgin on the Ridiculous
So, once again I find myself delayed in an airport lounge (and a big hello to the Virgin Blue folk!) eating the potato and leek soup from a teeny-weeny bowl. Jealous? Of course you are. Next, I’m heading to the buffet for one of those microscopic bread rolls, some seeded mustard, a few sun-dried tomatoes and, possibly, some of that ham (ish type meat). And, I use the term ‘meat’ reservedly.
Aaah, the life of a jet-setting rockstar. The glamour of it all. 
Easily Distracted
While I always try to be productive in these places, I invariably (allow myself to) get distracted by the humanity milling and moving around me. Without even realising it, I often find myself studying strangers in an attempt to figure out their story. This place is a veritable cornucopia of cultures. A plethora of personalities. A tapestry of… of… something starting with ‘T’ (I must be tired… I’ll leave it to you).
And, occasionally, a fruit salad of f**kwits.
Stop it.
A Dude with Studs
When I first arrived in here (the Virgin Lounge) I spent a few minutes looking at what I initially assumed was a business dude in a suit. He was sitting opposite me so I was kind of staring without really intending to. I do that sometimes. Anyway, he was well-spoken (I heard him on the phone), well-dressed and maybe fifty years old. Young. Oh yeah, and he was also wearing a big diamond stud in each ear! Clearly (I thought), he’s either a drug lord, a hitman, a film director, a choreographer, a diamond stud salesman or a bloke who simply enjoys wearing diamonds in his lobes. Or maybe not.
And, clearly, I have too much time on my hands.
And the Point Is?
Which brings me to my (long-winded) point: when it comes to people, things are not always as they seem. In fact, rarely as they seem. What we (think we) see is usually not what we get. So, when the drug-dealing choreographer looked my way, I decided to ask what business he is in. Don’t ask why I did this girls – it’s a man thing. I guess I could have opened with “hey, nice diamond studs” but I didn’t. Anyhoozle, he informed me that he is the pastor of a church. Of course he is.
Good grief.
Goodbye Flannel
So the stud-wearing God guy and I chatted for a while and he turned out to be a nice bloke. With zero choreographical skills, no films to direct and, to my knowledge, no people to kill or drugs to sell. Other than some kind of “holy spirit high”. Or something. Yep, sharp as a bowling ball, I am. Good thing I’m not a detective. He asked me what I do (as men do) and I told him to guess. His first three guesses were policeman, fireman and soldier. I seriously need to grow my hair and lose the army shorts and flannel shirts.
How come nobody ever guesses lawyer, stockbroker, surgeon, astronaut, choreographer or florist? So not fair.
Looking Deeper
How many times have you been amazed to discover who people actually are once you get past all the distractions and the bits that aren’t actually them? I’m talking about getting to know people beyond their appearance, their clothes, nerves, title, position, fears and issues. Beyond the outward picture. When we watch people, more often than not, we’re watching some kind of ‘show’. Especially when they know they’re being observed.
Next time, I’ll look past the diamond studs.
Now… where are those microscopic bread rolls?
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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
How about a Tapestry of Terrestrials?
It’s a good lesson you talk about here Craig. I’ve found people are NEVER what they appear!
It’s a lesson I seem to need to learn over and over again.
Just when I pigeon-hole someone, they surprise me.
Sometimes I’ve even done it to myself!!!
Hope you’re well.
Em
x ( )
You are talking about me again.
A lesson a very good friend of mine taught me was -
“FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT”
Is this really such a bad thing?
A tapestry of tentacles? O_o
Hey Craig, nice guesswork
Clearly you need to get yourself into a sexy uniform and onto a calendar !
I used to work in a job where we hired a lot of teenagers on a casual basis, and being the senior, experienced ‘pro’ at 22 years old, I was given the job of training this bunch of people I had pretty much all bundled into a ‘loser’ basket and tried to be as patient as I could with the naive young kiddies.
One quiet night working a late shift I struck up a conversation with one of these young girls, and we found we had quite a few things in common.
That was over 15 years ago, and that loser has been one of my best friends ever since. She has been an inspiration and a rock, and my life would not have been the same without her.
I not only learnt a valuable lesson about judging people, but I gained an amazing friend.
I was in the market a couple of years back for a high end vehicle, and my first two attempts at this particular European ‘prestige’ brand were laughable.
First visit I spent a good 25 minutes in the showroom before anyone paid any attention to me. the salesperson then gave me a very brief and offhanded overview of the vehicle, but clearly wasn’t interested.
Second visit, same story, but this time the sales team were far too busy discussing an upcoming client event to even engage me. i was told to arrange an appointment if i wished to speak to the sales team.
both times I was in my usual attire, cargo shorts, t-shirt, boots and unshaven.
third attempt at another dealer and same attire. The salesperson couldn’t have been more eager, and quickly summed up me, my needs and my approach. he got the $250k sale on the spot. He later confided to me that he had learnt the lesson early on that looks are most deceiving, and a large percentage of his customer base didn’t fit the typical image of that brand. His typical clients were self made men and women, across all sectors and ages, and there was no basis for eliminating buyers on their looks.
U are Awesome-possum! I was laughing throughout the whole post)))
Have a great time Craig! And better don’t play too much with a tiny bread rolls, they just seem small
Craig, its the manly physique from all of your working out. I love people watching. They are so fascinating.
a tapestry of tales
To me, there’s something in the sayings “At 20 you have the face you were born with, at 50 you have the face you deserve”, and “The eyes are the window to the soul”.
Having said that, if the pastor had only seen your photo on the back of “Food…for thought”, he would’ve probably guessed axe murderer!
Fruit salad of … almost made me choke on my serial. You’re awesome Craig
Hi All
I hear ya.
)
In my teens (ok and into my twenties) I was a complete rebel against society.
I had long hair, tattoo, Goatee, some extra fat (I mean big bones 40 Kg’s of them) and yes girls I drove a panel van. I was the bloke every Mom wanted their daughter to stay away from. (Maybe “every” is an exaggeration to prove my point
I remember saying back then why can’t I look like this and still be a nice person inside, which was something I endeavored to be.
In more recent time I remember telling one of my managers I am into Martial Arts and his response was classic. I never would have picked his response “you don’t look like one” Now I did wonder for a while and I did ask well what does one of them look like. The response to that questions was some jumbled words. (Maybe to hard a question)
To put it in perspective I am 6.2, chicken legs and fit (Got rid of those extra big bones)
I am interested in real people these days(you know the underneath all the pretend stuff) but find it hard sometimes not to judge a little especially when yesterday I heard the aftermath of a guy belting his girlfriend on the train. (Another story for another day, I’m still wobbling)
Enjoy.
Having just met you Craig I could see beyond the flannel to that inner florist!!! Or comedian?! You are a funny guy and it was a great to meet you and to share a few good laughs!
When I was 19 and a self confessed fashion princess, I met what I thought was a 40 year old, balding, fat guy who wore brown clothes. We struck up many conversations, I found out he was 22, shy, had a great sense of humour, and the wickedest laugh – so I married him.
As a man, I have to say I find the whole, “so what do you do?” question very boring and banal. When asked it (as I often am), I usually find myself losing interest in the asker and the conversation…..I acknowledge that this is perhaps unfair. Sometimes the question is a serious attemp at starting a conversation. I use my discretion as to whether the asker resembles any chopped fruit.
However, in the bloke world, this question is more often than not about finding out where one fits into the societal, achievement, pecking order….a pigeonholing exercise. I am a professional in an area that society regards as “prestigious and worthy”….but to me it is a job like any other. Once people know what you, do all the preconceptions and judgements become a filter through which people interact with you. Somone once said “If you label me you negate me”.
I refuse to ask someone what they do for a living.
I have found as a general observation, that if a person is funny or witty, they are intelligent. Period. Of course, unfunny people may also be intelligent, but all of this has nothing to do with what they “do” or how well educated they are
Shame on you Mr Harper for leading with the “what business are you in?” question as your first communication to another bloke….:-)
Looking deeper is always where it is at for me.
I had better get back to my fruit salad….
hahaha, Craig… Fruit salad of F**wits…. Fancy that? I never even noticed the day you arrived onsite here at my work….
me? I think it is purely entertainment.
I love the fact that people are judged by the clothes they wear, persona given off, etc.. so I regularly change my style to provide myself amusement… so, I have simple pleasures okay? But it is amazing the difference way people treat you when dressed differently.. and I find it very entertaining playing the role (or not) of the way i am dressed..
Some people may call this multiple personality disorder, I suppose.. others would class it as a Fruit Salad ingredient
We live in a society of judgment… as any larger person would tell you.
Try walking into a trendy clothing store when over a size 16….. ignored….
try ordering a pastry in a busy coffee shop, ignored….
try car shopping as a frantic single mother with 5 children in tow (needed to ascertain if the car was big enough…) ignored…..
How do we fix this?
From within…. everyone you see today has a story, everyone you see today has a voice, and everyone you see today deserves respect and love and kindness…. treat everyone as equals..
And always remember how much I care~
Jak (and Caroline and Sara and Justine)
well written made me chuckle. And it got me thinking, yes, we shouldn’t judge others by their appearances or manners. But then what would be the fun left in sitting in an airport?
It comes down to the mistaken belief that first impressions count and last, something society needs to get rid of. How many times have you met someone scruffy who is more intellegent than the Toorak groomed set will every be?
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