I finally read your blog. Thank you for your advise. At the moment I have the opportunity to take some time out from this person – but we will cross paths again in the future. I am going to take this time to gain my confidence find ME again. I am hoping the time a part will give us a fresh start – “as friends – as ME” when we meet up again.

Karen

Cheers,
Nycole

This is pretty much the opposite in this world, even in fitness, to get out and get what you want it won’t come to you. But when you chase it often it does not.

Quick example, I know someone who wanted to work for Singapore Airlines. Had the experience, but no go. He gave up. The call came later that year to join their Brisbane office. Is it karma/magic/fate any of those things? Or simply not worrying and it came. He did sent his resume 3 times so maybe that was in their face but he did say at once stage I’m not going to have it. He has that job now.

This is true.

On an unrelated note, that is pretty interesting that folks can post comments anonymously. Nice feature.

Back to the point here, it sure is powerful to let go. There are some things I am not intent on letting go of, but you are right that the power comes back when you do.

I can agree that chasing has never worked for me. I probably should have figured it out the first 1200 times, but it is okay because I eventually started to get the concept. It reminds of how Ludacris said in a song that he doesn’t go to the party, but that he brings the party to him. This is a healthy way to go.

I probably need to let go of my quest to seem like the smart guy, or like the fastest runner, or so on. This would help me. I don’t usually let go of things.

This post will probably process in my brain for a while.

Rather I want to tell Karen something and I hope she reads this:

“I agree wholeheartedly with your article. All my life I have been seeking the approval and acceptance of others. A couple of years ago I met someone whom I thought “was the one” – he totally consumed my every thought and actions – and I definitely let him empower me. Yet the whole time I was anxious and not “me”. I decided a few months ago to let go of my bad habits and “him”. It is hard but I am beginning to feel more at peace. I have read many books on Buddhism during this time – and I am slowly being converted – we definitely have a lot to learn from “robe wearing friends.”

Karen, that sums up my two and bit year issue with the person I wanted. This person was, is, the one. However, you hit the nail very firmly on the head about unrequited love, another overused term we use on ourselves to feel worse. We change to suit them. They take advantage of it. We are anxious and want approval and guess what; it don’t happen. We end up hurt and lonely, we push them away. What a stupid concept the universe has set in motion for us. I also have to let go of some friends and the meditation group, I just felt I was being someone else and they were draining me, but they don’t make them bad nor is there any rule that I cannot take up with them again.

HOWEVER, please, please, please, do not make the mistake I did. I let go of this person, that was a mistake, because the person that does this to us teaches us the lesson that we need to be ourselves, and if they don’t accept it tough. Sure enough well-meaning people will run the plenty fish in the sea rubbish arguement. No, this person appeared to teach us something, there is no rule to say they will never be in our lives even as friends again. And we don’t have to take them back either; but we also have the choice to interact with them, they just, well don’t have to, but they need to accept we won’t do that behaviour now. If they don’t then tough.

Now, this also applies with employers, your mortgage and food is very important but we give too much of ourselves away to please the boss. Money is important as it love but at what cost?

Karen, you make you decision, maybe for me there is another, I won’t love that person as much as I did this one, but I have learnt the lesson of not being myself to please another makes them run away. I always wondered why obese people do have partners despite society saying they can’t; they meet others that see them on the inside (I am not going to debate the health aspects, I’m just pointing out that we wonder why the ugliest people have great partners; they are THEMSELVES).

Oh and Karen, if you change and he wants you back (as mine might) and he’s changed there is no reason he cannot be THE ONE (a stupid term there really is no such thing but meh off track). When you put yourself out into the pool for love he’s in there.

Besides when you go out and you are with some muscle man he will beg you to take him back and you can use a fly swotter on him )))))

Let go of letting go people – sometimes the job, partner or whatever is the right thing but at the wrong time.

*thumbs up to Karen for sharing her letting go story.