G’day Team
Well here I am luxuriating in the glamour and opulence that is our new site. Johnny has had his work cut out for him teaching me how to use a different blogging program – being as I have the attention span of a three year old and the technical aptitude of a Golden Retriever. And I ask very stupid questions. Apparently. Thanks for all your feedback and patience so far. We’ll still be ironing out the kinks for a while yet, but overall we’re getting there. Giddyup.
RYL Report
As most of you know, we ran our two-day Melbourne RYL (Renovate Your Life) Program this past weekend. After a few cancellations, we ended up with a group of seventy-ish amazing people (a few had left by the time we took the photo at the end of the program) who all came ready to Live, Love, Laugh and Learn. It was truly a weekend of inspiration, motivation, education, connection and transformation - and most of that had very little to do with me. I enjoyed standing back and watching people show genuine care, kindness and support to total strangers - with no agenda. Very cool. Seeing people move from self-focused to others-focused, from shut-down to open, from cautious to courageous, from reactive to proactive and from defensive to determined, was an incredible experience. It’s fair to say that there was much hugging, sharing, crying and late-night talking. And no, it wasn’t just some big feel-good, emotion-fest, there was also a very structured, logical and strategic element to the weekend that I know will help people turn their lives around in a real, practical and measurable way.
A Time to Share
One of the last sessions we did over the weekend was for every participant to share a little about themselves; where they had travelled from - emotionally and geographically – (more than half had come from interstate), why they had come to the program and what they had learned. Well, I can’t adequately describe what transpired in that session (I can tell you it went twice as long as I had planned) but let’s just say that for some people, that experience will be life-changing and unforgettable. I’ve seen some pretty spectacular stuff in my time working with individuals and groups but I’ve honestly never been in the middle of a more raw, honest, confronting and cathartic moment. It was both transformational and unforgettable.
I Almost Didn’t Cry
Almost. As the bloke standing up the front facilitating the whole process, I thought it might be a good idea if I didn’t have an emotional melt-down; after all we did need someone to steer the ship and keep the wheels of the program turning. And of course we really didn’t need to subject anybody to my snot, tears or blubbering. And for a while there, I was going pretty good. But only for a while. All the participants had spoken and we were about to move on to the next part of the program when Johnny informed me that one more person wanted to speak. Our camera man for the weekend and all-round tech genius Chris, wanted to say a few words. Chris had come along to film the weekend so he was there in an official capacity – but also to be part of the RYL experience as he has a few personal goals of his own. Chris wouldn’t mind me sharing with you that he has always battled with his weight and that he has a big challenge ahead of him. A challenge that I’m sure he will win. I’ll also mention that he is a relatively quiet and shy person, so when he walked out from behind his camera, took the microphone with tears in his eyes, told the entire group that they had inspired him and then declared that he never wanted to be called “Big Fella” again, I was gone. Snot, tears, man-hugging; the whole lot. Not pretty. But perhaps beautiful. The shift that needed to happen for Chris (the internal one) has happened and now I look forward to watching the external transformation and cheering him on.
“Take your head there and your body will follow”
Some Key Lessons From RYL
While there were way too many lessons and light bulb moments to explore in one brief post, I thought I’d share with you what seemed to be among the most meaningful (and discussed) lessons for the majority.
1. For the most part, change is not about the situation, circumstance or the environment but rather about the individual in it.
2. Theory is only theory. Knowing what do isn’t enough.
3. Transformation comes from application.
4. There are no problems; only individual reactions to events and situations.
5. One person’s catastrophe is another person’s lesson.
6. Who we “are” is not what we do, own, drive, look like or think.
7. We don’t need anyone’s permission, approval or endorsement. We are enough.
8. In general, there is no “best time” but there is a best attitude.
9. There is no universal reality; we each create our own.
10. Our history doesn’t need to become our future.
11. I am the problem and the solution. But then again, there are no problems.
12. The only person who can get in my way, is me.
13. My life purpose is me-determined not pre-determined.
14. Life is not fair or unfair, life just IS. The key is what we do with it.
15. Perseverance, discipline, commitment and courage will out-perform potential every time.
16. Being in good (or bad) physical shape is 5% about genetic disposition and 95% about genetic management.
17. The question is not “how much ability do you have?” but rather, “how much will you use?”
18. I can choose my attitude, therefore I can choose the quality of my day. Every day.
19. People only have the power (in our lives) that we give them.
20. What scares me, teaches me.
Love to hear your thoughts – just click on the “comments” link (in the red box). Enjoy your Tuesday and see you on the morrow ( )
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This is my favourite.
No. 19. People only have the power (in our lives) that we give them.
So true.
I will try and make the next RYL.
Maree
I have to admit I have struggled with number twelve over the years.
Thanks for your insight and congratulations on the weekend.
Just stumbled across your website. WOW. What an amazing community you have here. Could we have an RYL in New Zealand?
Morning Craig – nice snapshot of the weekend. I started typing up my notes yesterday and today is getting into the nitty gritty of what I’m actually going to do – it’s all rolling around in my head at the moment, so need to get it down on paper before I lose it all. I’m determined to be able to get up at RYL2 and be one of the success stories.
That last session was incredible, very emotional and inspiring – I was blown away by it. Unfortunately the tissues didn’t make it to our row, so the tears just had to fall on the table … nothing wrong with a little puddle!
Have a great day – I’m off to be the change!
Hugs
Nell xxxx
Wow,
It was an awesome weekend, I met some amazing people, I learnt some amazing things and yup I think Chris brought the already fragile room to tears. All the best Chris!!!
I would thoroughly recommend the whole experience to anyone. I was challenged and came through it with a new respect for myself
I have a way to go but I am well on the road to being my best me!! Thanks Craig, your awesomely amazing team and everyone I met over the weekend Big hugs to you all!!!
Hugs
Chelle xxxx
Rowville (Vic)
Thanks Craig for listing all of these points so we can’t forget them.
The weekend was awesome and i find I am thinking differently already.
Nell, you are a success story EVERY DAY, the fact that you got up again today with goals in mind makes you a success.
I keep remembering the 2 big lessons for me, my history is not my future and as long as I NEVER finish this journey I will succeed.
Hugs
Ruth
RYL was sen-bloody-sational! The structure & content of the programme, the humour & style of the teacher, the assistance & support of Team Harper (and kylie.com) and by no means least, the friendliness, openness, support, warmth & genuineness of the participants was truly amazing. I’m so grateful that I could be a part of it .. and to anyone who missed out, make sure you DON’T next time. (And Craig, stand-up comedy seems like such a small step from your natural teaching style that I reckon you’d be ACE!)
At no point did I switch off or my mind wander from the discussion .. and the days were long and quite intense. I loved the exercise component and realise that all I need in a home-gym is Loretta and a couple of beach towels! My roomies were totally awesome, as were our neighbours. Everyone was wonderful, but time was too short to get to know everyone, unfortunately. The Saturday night group was hilarious – blowing the theory that women don’t talk shit totally out of the water. And the Sunday sharing session was raw, open, honest, heart-wrenching and beautiful. All in all an amazing experience and I, for one, DID NOT want it end.
Thanks to Craig, Johnny and the rest of the Harper’s guys that made it happen, and to all you beautiful people who attended. Look forward to catching up at the next one!
Many hugs,
Suz (Sydney)
Yep Craig,
That last session blew me away too. What a powerful experience and one I will never forget. Chris just spoke so well, from the heart and I had tears too!
I love that snapshot list of the lessons – I love Nos. 6, 7, 10, 12, 13, 14 … this could go on for a while … I love them all!! As an approval-seeker, No. 7 is a really big issue for me and something I’m committed to changing.
Thanks for a fab weekend – I met some awesome, truly inspiring people, I have a whole new energy. But more importantly, I have a plan for my future, I have direction and goals and I know how to reach them. Now the changes can begin. Thankyou so much for telling me what I needed to hear – not what I wanted to hear!
Time for a swim and a bike ride methinks! Triathlon is calling … loudly!
Em (Tas)
( ) x
(Sorry, me again!)
Suz,
Saturday night was crazy! I loved it … you girls were all a hoot. And if a bloke had’ve been there, his head would have exploded I’m sure. Us girls can talk shit with the best of them. A couple of hours of total, unadulterated sillyness (complete with ‘contraband’ and muffins!) and I loved it!
Em
(oops, did I just dob us in?!!!!)
Hey Craig, You ROCK mate. Thanks for a great weekend.
The last thing i wrote in my odiary yesterday was “I stayed true”
good on ya mate
Dazza!
Yep, Em .. you did. But that’s OK .. there were enough of us loonies there to take on any ‘detractors’
~
Yup Saturday night was totally awesome and hilarious!!! Yup that theory…GONE!!!! Thanks to all at that little session, I haven;t laughed like that in such a long time!!! Contraband and all!!!
Thanks Ruth – it’s all about perspective isn’t it?
Saturday night was a hoot and seeing as Em was the one to let the cat out of the bag about the contraband I truly believe she is the one that needs to ask “The Question”!
Hi Guys – hope you’re havng a fun Tuesday. Thanks for all the nice words. Glad you enjoyed RYL. Now… GO CHANGE YOUR LIVES!!
As for you Saturday night rebels, I’ll see you all in my office.
Desiree – love to run a RYL program in NZ… if only someone knew who I was over there!
( )
Ok Craig, your office it is, shall we bring the cheesecake????? Nell, I agree Em can ask the question!!!
Desiree…start spreading the word around NZ (although maybe we would like to selfishly keep Craig all to ourselves
LOL )
Oh and I bumped into Sandra at the shopping centre this morning lol…so we had a little RYL debrief and what we are doing now sort of thing!!! Hi Sandra!
I also had a fab weekend but I amost didn’t have an ‘ah-ha moment’. It was not until Sally asked if I minded being labelled as one of ‘The Sisters’. I said ‘no’, Jackie said ‘yes’. It later occurred to me that I have spent my whole life hiding behind the labels and fortunately for me, they have generally been reasonably positive ones. I was not the fat, ugly, dumb kid, but I now realise that I actually didn’t (and still don’t) know exactly who I am. I have always ‘flown below the radar’ rather than flying high on my own.
Thanks for the insight! I loved the weekend and thought we were a caring and brave group of people. It’s not easy to tear up in front of a group of people you’ve met a day earlier. There was alot of love in that room.
Craig – your team is awesome.
Have a great week
Janice
Craig, are you sure you really want that???
And Nell … yeah, I agree with that!
Note to self: Next RYL, bring more contraband. Oops! Did I say that out loud??
What question is that, Nell??
I have no idea what you’re talking about!
I had a great weekend meeting you all, even got to know my lovely friends from Croydon a bit better – “bunking” in together you get to know people!! I learnt heaps and put a lot into perspective. I’ve come back enthused and determined to be the change and I truly believe I will finish what I start. Thanks Craig, Johnny, Mikey, Dee and the gang and for everyone for sharing. x
Hi Craig
What a fabulous RYL weekend. I am still buzzing with positive energy.
Sunday’s session was probably the best group session I have ever participated in. I think of what transpired and what the weekend meant to so many people.
I am a weight watchers leader and I couldn’t wait to tell them about my weekend (they think I am crazy, who loves exercise!) I think they are a little more motivated now.
Thanks to to Mandy Kylie Mikey Annie Johnny Dee and Rona and Dr Steve.What a team! Everyone made the weekend so memorable.
Cheers Robyn
Can I make a personal request that the session where we all shared a piece of ourselves on Sunday morning be left unedited and put on a DVD for us to purchase. Please Johnny and camera man Chris? That was the highlight for me. By far. It wasn’t a fitness camp and who cares if you got to Level 11 or Round 4 on the beep test, or if you did 3 pushups or 300. It was about coming to a place in our head where we WILL change. I also want to say a heartful thanks to you, Craig, for expressing such beautiful words about where I am at with my confidence and my new (paramedic) career. That set me off a million tears… And, to everyone else who said I was amazing – I’m not really. Although maybe I should, for once, agree with you and start changing my self-limiting beliefs. You are all amazing too.
Sunday morning was amazing and raw but the weekend was different things for different people.
In MY reality I do care about where I got in the beep test and i was rapt even though it was only 1.6, for someone who a year ago was considering buying a motorised scooter to get around on it is a huge achievemnet (GO ME!)
I was also so proud of Linda who did 3 push ups, the first 3 in her whole life.
Jules you are amazing, start living that amazing life.
Hugs
Ruth
Awesome!
Point number 6 really spoke to me just now. I came to this site straight from a drawn out discussion with one of my closest friends – someone I’ve known since birth. She was upset because she felt that I’m far more successful than her due to my efforts as a writer, and that I therefore view her as less interesting than me. I was stunned.
The first thing I thought was – “that’s not who I am; that’s just what I do” – and if she knew me at all, she’d know that I don’t see myself that way at all; if anything I constantly beat up on myself for never achieving the ultimate goal, whatever that may be.
Thanks for some good reminders and new food for thought. You’ve given me some great stuff to work on Craig – again!
Hey Jules
It’ll all take time; but I met you for the first time last weekend and I spoke what I saw. Yes, I think agreeing with us would be a great idea.
What you’ve achieved and what you’re doing as a paramedic can only be done by special people.
Look at the people you work with (jeez, I hope you don’t work with a mob of dickheads !!!) I’ll bet they’re amazing. Use the non-dickheads as a mirror.
Keep at it. Listen to Craig and let us know how you go by keeping in touch in the weekly catch ups and Facebook if you’re so inclined.
There ain’t nothing wrong with you that any of us at RYL could see.
Alan (Your walking partner on the “stonking great hill”…..oh, great imagery Craig !!!)
Thanks Al…
If there was ever an environment to feel safe in the knowledge that people were genuine, compassionate and prepared to speak from their hearts, it’s RYL.
I have never been around so many lovely people; nor have I been so inspired by those who were charged to help us all see different ways to act and think.
The exercise component was exceptional and imposed no expectations on anyone and certainly made a point that whatever you can do is OK..
Hayley. What an inspiration you are on the “stonking big hill”!! Coughing lungs up, but still made it.
Craig, you and your marvellous team provide information, support and a genuine care for others that I believe is not offered anywhere else. It was greatly appreciated.
Those 2 days was amazing; I wish it had been a week.
No matter where the next one is, I’ll get there if I can.
My very best to all (especially Kylie!…thank you)
Alan
Thanks Ruth – I was so proud of me too! Next year, I’ll double it!
You guys are all sensational. There are not enough pages here to explain what it meant to me…
Suffice to say, it was like I was given my life back… only to be told it was really mine all along anyhow.
Linda