If you’ve come in search of some life-changing, mind-blowing wisdom, insight and self-help gold… then you may be a little disappointed because today I’m opting for tongue-in-cheek frivolity.
Just read over my last few posts.
Kinda intense.
Thought-provoking, challenging, confronting.
Somewhat serious.
That’s okay; we need some occasional serious.
And some regular fun.
Today we’re goin‘ for fun.
If you have a propensity to be somewhat precious and easily offended, or if you missed out on the humor gene.. you may wanna come back tomorrow when I explore something a little more grown-up and sensible.
So I just cut my hair.
Myself.
Always do.
It grows like a weed, so it gets a fortnightly trim.
Use my own clippers.
No.1 comb.
It’s a man thing.
Four minutes start to finish.
There’s something liberating about having hair that’s three millimetres (an eighth of an inch) long.
Clippering (is so a word) my hair is like my meditation.
Which doesn’t really say a whole lot for my spiritual life I guess.
Hmm.
Just love to feel those bad boys pressed hard up against my skull… the cold steel, the constant, single-note hum of the motor (a ‘D’ I think), the vibration through my cerebral cortex and the undeniable smell of testosterone hanging in the air… oh yes, it’s a ritual.
It reminds me that I’m a man.
A low-maintenance, high-performance, alpha-male warrior.
Or as my mother would say, an insecure, high-maintenance, dysfunctional idiot.
So not fair.
Oh well.
Love you Mary.
Anyway, I gotta tell ya girls, I’ve given it some serious thought and I really think that, as a gender… you’re missin‘ out.
Being a bloke…. waaaay more fun.
No doubt.
I don’t wanna depress you or anything… but seriously, you guys (er.. girls) have so drawn the short straw with a whole buncha stuff.
Not only is it fun and convenient to have no-maintenance hair… but waddabout all those additional hours you woulda accumulated over the course of your life-time without having to fix your hair all the time?
You coulda saved years.
Decades even.
You coulda got that PhD.
Or another one.
And then there’s the money you woulda saved on visits to the hairdresser and on hair-care products… you’d be driving a new Porsche if it wasn’t for those time-consuming, expensive locks.
If you wanna give it a go… drop over and I’ll cut your hair personally.
We’ll take photos.
We’ll make a day of it.
I think deep down most girls have short-hair envy.
And who can blame them?
Er, you.
So anyway, my four-minute trim was followed by the shave, shower and shampoo.
Okay, no shampoo; don’t need it.
More hair on my legs than my head.
Maybe I should shampoo my legs?
Probably not.
I’m digressing.
Again.
My point is this: total Craig grooming time… eleven minutes start to finish for the whole process including hair cut and getting dressed.
Let’s see a chick do that!
I think not my female counterparts…
And that includes a pre-shower toilet stop.
Standing.
Say no more.
I can hear the envy from here.
Ya gotta be hatin‘ that whole sitting down thing… right?
A life-time of that’s gotta suck?
Bummer.
Bad luck Dudes.
Sorry, Dudettes.
So the low cost, low fuss, low-maintenance ‘being a man’ thing got me to thinkin‘ that while I love girls (I mean that respectfully), I’m so glad I’m not one.
Mean that respectfully too.
I’m sure you’re all glad I’m not a woman too.
I’d make one big, ugly chick that’s for sure.
Apart from the fact that I can’t multi-task, dance or talk when the TV’s on… and I’m not pretty enough, there’s probably not a big chance I’m gonna be a woman any time soon anyway… but you know what I’m talking about.
However I will admit that, as a rule, girls smell much better than us blokes.
Mostly.
Except of course, for my grade five teacher; she smelled like cheese.
Gouda, I think.
On a hot day, Parmesan.
And a warm hello to you Mrs Fraser.
Hope you’re well and hope you eventually got yourself a good anti-fungal spray.
But other than a few small advantages.. being a girl kinda sucks (from over here in Boys-ville, it seems to anyway).
It’s way too much hard work.
I’ve watched… and it’s a tough gig being a female.
Much harder than being yer run-o-the-mill bloke.
I get up, clean my teeth, shave (maybe), go to the toilet vertically (jealous), shower and I’m done. Jump in the car (my-much-larger-than-necessary-and-I’ve-got-no-issues-man’s-car) and head off to work (at my very manly gym).
Yes girls, you’ve definitely drawn the short straw.
So I’ve given this considerable thought (four minutes in the shower) and I’ve come up with a a pretty solid case for being a bloke… feel free to convince me otherwise.
1. Well, we’ve covered the hair thing and our ability to perform certain skills vertically but let’s not forget our amazing ability to laugh at our own farts for eighty years.
Farts = laughter = happiness = improved emotional, mental and physical well-being.
Therefore… farts are actually therapeutic.
Didn’t know that didya girls?
See, always a lesson.. even when I’m being an idiot.
2. If you’re a male news-reader you can work until you’re a hundred years old.
Girls.. thirty-five.
Tops.
(In this country anyway).
3. Childbirth; an incredible gift and privilege…. but jeeeeeeeez, that’s gotta hurt.
4. Removal of body hair… waxing schmaxing, I say. You can have that all to yerselves.
5. Menstruation and menopause; all yours.
6. When a guy gains a few pounds; people say he’s cuddly… girls don’t seem to get off so lightly.
7. If a guy is good at football, he can get paid an obscene amount to kick (or throw) a ball and to try and kill other guys. On the other hand, if a girl’s good at football… aah, not so advantageous.
8. If a guy turns up for a date in jeans and a cap, he’s cool.
If a girl does, she’s a slob.
I could go on but I don’t wanna depress you.
Or incite you.
Any more than I have.
I’ll leave you with these few questions. Feel free to answer one, all or none.
1. Who has it easier, guys or girls?
2. Why?
3. Has there ever been a time when you would have swapped if you could?
4. What is the best part about being a guy / girl for you?
5. Do we live in a world which is unfairly geared towards men?
6. What men don’t get about women is…. ?
7. What women don’t get about men is…. ?
Okay, I’m off to put my ample testosterone to good use on the bench press.
Then I might punch something.
And then eat a whole farm animal.
With my fingers.
And then laugh at one of my own farts.
For hours.
It’s therapeutic, ya’ know.
{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Craig,
You have made a wonderful arguement for you and the fellas. And yes, we are high-maintenance, but don’t fool yourself, we love to be pampered. Manicures, pedicures, facials, a visit to the salon is bliss, not work! You know if you were going to get a debate, it would be from me:
1. girls have it best
2. if I decide to go out tonight, it is always MY decision to go home alone or have company… we own the boys!
3. nah, I love being a girl!
4. best part of being a girl feeling safe enough to ask: what part of the woman’s body do you not like Criag, its all good, right?
5. most entertainment venues are geared toward men, music (about strippers), movies (at least one decent rack), all commercials, and Hooters, need I say more?
6. Men don’t get that women don’t need them around all the time, but they love to know that their man wants to be with them. Example, you are on a manly fishing trip with 4 other fellas, you call me before bed and say, I am having a great time but I sure wish I was there with you right now. Score for you, I’m all good, and you have a big surprise waiting when you get home, see with girl rules… everybody wins!!!
7. can’t answer that one…
As for menstration and menopause, better than erectile dysfunction. We might have cramps and hot flashes but ya’ll lose your minds when that thing goes on the blink!
Hair removal is a temporary pain but it doesn’t cause us to join a hair club for men… men have no coping skills.
A male geared society offers benefits to us girls, we can have body parts perfected, a fresh set of twins, but mentioned a scapel in a fella’s netherregion, and he breaks out in cold sweat….
And best of all…. girls have better things to do than obsess over a penis, checking if its still attached, holding it as if it may run away, constantly bragging about it or worrying about it. All of our parts are self-sufficient, they do not nescesitate round the clock care. And finally, a girl may have blue eyes, but she never has to worry that anything else will turn BLUE!
Ok, that is my argument, I hope I represented the girls well. But honestly Craig, at the end of the day, who do you want rubbing that 3mm hair tonight, one of your football playing, cap wearing, farty blokes or a well-manicured, sleek legged woman?
PS* I guess you have never been camping with a girl or visited an icky road side bathroom, we have the vertical skill, we CHOOSE to relax! It’s more ladylike
()Tami
Hi Craig, coming to your blog for the first time, this sure is an introduction of yourself,
.
Not sure I will be visiting again though.. (kidding of course, I think.. not completely sure, being a girl and all..).
And well, to answer all of your question at once. The best thing about being a women is letting men think they’re better off, letting them think they’re in control. When, as we all know, we women have to do all the thinking, arranging, all the caring, while you guys are doing some bench pressing, beer drinking, burping, or clippering (????) your hair.. DUHHHH.
Without women, OMG, where would this world be!!
On a more serious note: having the two sweetest children in the world, I wouldn’t trade being a girl for all the gold in the world!!
Really, really hope you enjoy your day (farting and all).. Ellen
Craig I am absolutely wetting myself (laughing) here! You have made my day and it has only just begun….through your tongue-in-cheek frivolity this morning I feel affirmed – yes affirmed because you would have to be the first bloke that I have read stuff from that actually acknowledges the crap we go through cos we are girls…but I can blaze my way through a ‘be ready in 11 minute morning’ – minus the hairclipping and up with a pony tail- and there is no way on this earth I would be jealous that you can stand up to relieve yourself.It’s a girl thing!
Ok… Who has it easier, guys or girls? Why? In my experience the guy…but thats cos 9 out of 10 times its been easier to do things myself than wait for or let him do them. (Yes I even spent 20 years thinking for a him)
3. Has there ever been a time when you would have swapped if you could? yeah when I was a kid – It was ok for teenage guys to go out raging and partying but not girls…no no we were kept very safely out of harms way at home. Lets not even go to the ‘rep’ that guys get with a sexual conquest at this age compared to the ‘names’ the girls got.
4. What is the best part about being a guy / girl for you?
I can have babies and yes it does hurt by by God what a gift.
5. Do we live in a world which is unfairly geared towards men? I could so write an essay on this so I won’t start…
6. What men don’t get about women is…. ? we thrive on the emotional journey
7. What women don’t get about men is…. ? They can be so useless and thoughtless – not you Craig!
Hi Ellen.
Hmmm.. interesting day to visit for the first time.. I normally discuss more significant things than farts and cutting my hair…
You’ll just have to trust me on that!!
Thanks for saying hi… and for sharing.
Peace.
Hi Craig.
Long time reader, first time commentor.
You know what I love about coming to your site?
You never cease to amaze me with the depth and the variety of your writing and insight.
You are a teacher, a philospher and an entertainer. Yes, I know this particular blog is a bit of fun but you still find a way to connect with people, challenge us and make us think.
Very clever.
Please keep writing.
Sam ()
Hey Sam…
You’re too kind.
Got nothin’ else to do (!!) so I’ll keep the writing up for a while yet..
( )
Hi Tami.
You can do that standing?
I sooo didn’t know that.
I don’t wanna think too much about it.
You do present a compelling (and entertaining) case for the females of the species.
You have represented your sisters well Obe-one.
You’re right; owning a penis (is owning the right word?)… has its own challenges.
I’ve heard.
Thanks for the enlightenment, the education and the laughs.
( )
Hey Jen.
Glad I could make you laugh.
In reference to your no.7.. I can be… but I try not to be.
Just don’t ring my mother about that…
Enjoy your womanly day.
Here’s a manly, testosteroney hug ( )
When I read this sentence:
“you may wanna come back tomorrow when I explore something a little more grown-up and sensible.”
I thought I read “grown-up and senile” instead of “grown-up and sensible”.
And now I am starting to wonder why those words have such similar spellings!
Hi Kelvin.
It’s fine line.
Or a matter or definition perhaps.
Thanks for the laugh Craig.
You think we sit down more than your guys? Maybe while your doing number one’s but you sure make up for it with number two’s!
C’mon girls, back me up here, we do think farts are very funny….don’t we? I’m sure I’m not the only girl that thinks so…..or maybe I am? Of course, your own are always the funniest.
Even my 3 litle girls (2,4 & 6 yrs old) think farting is hilarious. Just last week I farted in the car and my 6 year old said ‘Who just farted?’ and I said ‘Me’(as I was laughing). She then says ‘Mum, that’s gross, it smells like egg!’ The four of us are then all laughing (the little one is laughing at our laughing). Everyone starts putting down their windows (except me of course). Maybe having 3 brothers hasn’t helped me understanding the ‘girl’ thing about farting.
I wouldn’t say a girl putting her legs in the air and putting a lighter to her ass and making flames would be appropriate (i’ve seen guys do this and absolutely wet themselves for hours over it), but the general fart brings just as much laughter for the girls as the guys I think. Maybe give it a go girls!
As for the girls smelling better than you guys, totally agree with this one (with the exception when we have just farted!).
Have a great day.
Hi Anonymous.
you know you can’t really own up to your fartish behaviour and fun… when you’re anonymous.
Almost brave… but not quite!
( )
Dare you.
You farter.
Craig
According to my mother women don’t fart. Well my mother never farts. She thinks she doesn’t but us kids know it’s not true. She could be doing something and a fart will accidently escape and she’ll quickly turn around to look at us (face in shock) to see if we noticed. Then she would shuffle some magazines/newspapers near by or start scrapping her foot against the coffee table, she’ll try to make any kind of noise so long as it sounds like a fart. We try to save her the embarrassment by pretending we don’t notice. I admit i would be embarrassment to fart in front of a guy. Actually this is one major reason i don’t want to get married. Silly i know but it’s the truth. I’m terrified i will wake my husband up with a fart and then he’ll tell all his friends about his ‘farting wife’. Is that something men do when they get together, make fun of their ‘farting women’?
Craig would you ever break up with woman because she farted? I know someone who break up with their boyfriend because he ‘chewed too loud’. Very shallow.
Some of my female friends behave very freely in front of their men when it comes to ‘natural bodily functions’. These women burp, fart and leave the toilet door open. I think that’s disgusting. Maybe women think that couple’s shouldn’t hide things like that from one another. Bullshit. Some things should be kept private.
My man will never ever see me shave my legs or hear me going to the toilet. Men don’t need to see things like this, it’s a turn off. All a man needs to know is that you look attractive, he doesn’t need to see the effort u put into looking that way. Better he live with an illusion ‘my wife is a NATURAL beauty.’
Can you imagine your in bed with your guy and all of a sudden you get this image of him seeing u wiping your bum the other day. NO WAY. I don’t even think men belong in the birthing room. Who the hell idea was this anyway? Back in the old days when a woman was going through childbirth she was surrounding by other women who could help with the process while the men were hunting (or in the waiting area at the hospital with a bunch of cigars). If i ever have a kid there is now way i would allow my husband to watch me spread eagled, being ripped apart by a big fat head. After seeing that he would probably never want to have sex with you ever again. Shallow i know but i believe that attraction and sex are the most important thing in keeping a relationship together. I lot of people may not agree with me but guess what? I don’t care.
Ange-Sydney
Ange, Ange, Ange…
You are freakin’ hilarious.
You made me laugh out loud.
This is comment of the month:
“Actually this is one major reason i don’t want to get married. Silly i know but it’s the truth. I’m terrified i will wake my husband up with a fart and then he’ll tell all his friends about his ‘farting wife’. Is that something men do when they get together, make fun of their ‘farting women’?”
I love your honesty; it’s completely refreshing.. and hysterical.
In answer to your question… no, I wouldn’t break up with a girl for that reason.
Your ability to make me laugh has won you a book… email us your postal address via the site and the bald man will send you a book..
Enjoy your day Ange.
( )
Hi Craig
Great read.
Just wanted to mention another little joy of womanhood to add to your list….the pap smear. I appreciate it doesn’t come close to the whole childbirth thing, but there ain’t nothing great about lying spreadeagled with a cold, metal object up your jacksy while some bored GP shines a torch and pokes around.
Are your legs crossed yet?
Hello Anon.
Now I’m reaaaaaaaaaally glad I’m not a chick.
Yep, they’re crossed.
You’re an Aussie girl right?
Funny.
No way, I’m staying anonymous, it could ruin my reputation as a mature, sweet smelling young lady (well,for the people who aren’t close to me anyway). Of course, I would only share these hilarious moments with family & friends, not just anybody.
Ange’s comment has really got me thinking….maybe I am the only girl who thinks farting is funny – surely you know some chicks….or just one…..maybe…that agree’s with me? C’mon Craig, I’m feeling a little uneasy now……ha. Or is it only funny for guys when other guys fart and not when girls fart?
So, Craig Anthony Harper, watch out….you may not want to get to know me too much more than you already do…..the laughter might be too much for you.
xx
PS. I’ve given you enough hints as to who I am….shhhhhhhh, don’t tell anyone). I can’t stop laughing. x
Craig I’d have to agree with you there, being a girl SUCKS! We’re not only very high maitenance but also a hormonal psychopath and that’s without substance and/or medication. So yes, be afraid be very very afraid my friend. LOL!!
I often say that I’m a man trapped in a women’s body but my husband has some issues with that. LOL!! I mean, where’s his sense of humour. LOL!!
Boys rock, girls suck and that’s my vote.
)
Cheers,
Lia Halsall
Melbourne, Australia
http://www.liahalsall.blogspot.com
wow -was this the result of the full moon and eclipse on Tuesday?
Is it really only boys who laugh at farts? Maybe im a boy on the inside
thanksk for the chuckle
regards
-fart girl.
Hey craig
while you are sending out books, can you also include a copy of something by naomi wolf or germain greer to that sydney bird? Yes, wonderful to read a response so honest, yet medieval!??? Almost made me think that it was a bloke writing, pretending to be a chick LOL…anyway…im stunned. Better not go there.
never gonna look at cheese the same way- thanks for the laugh:)
regards
Pen
I don’t know what was funnier, your post or the comments.
(of course, it was your post – the warm hello to Mrs Fraser made me laugh so hard a little bit of wee came out)*
1. Who has it easier, guys or girls? What are we referring to here. Picking up? Girls. If we choose to pick up, we do. But if you are referring to life in general, guys have it easier without a doubt.
2. Why? Why? Simple. Because you don’t have hormones. Need I say more? Ok. You also don’t think, rethink, overthink. Things are simple for men. They don’t speak in tongues. If they say they want to fart, they want to fart. If a woman says “I want to fart” it translates to “I need you to take the blame for this one tiger”
3. Has there ever been a time when you would have swapped if you could? Yep. Case 1/ Growing up – my brother got a motorbike. I wasn’t allowed to ride it cause I was a girl. (bitter much? LOL)
Case 2/ I would swap just to pick up women. I’d be SO good at it (too much info? Sure, but I can trust you right?)
4. What is the best part about being a guy / girl for you? I can cry and not have to blame it on leaky occular fluid.
5. Do we live in a world which is unfairly geared towards men? Absolutely. Everything needs to be right there in front of them though because they’re so shit at looking for things. No, seriously it depends on how hard you’re looking for reasons to hate the opposite sex. Some women will shout inequality to the roof top. I’m not that kinda woman and make my own opportunities.
6. What men don’t get about women is…. ? Sweet talking and sincere flattery will get you everywhere.
7. What women don’t get about men is…. ? All they want is to be accepted and for us to tell them how hilarious their farts are. When commu nicating with them, keep it simple. Don’t drop friggin hints. Tell them exactly what you want and lay off the nagging already!
I love men. I love the no bullshit, simplistic view of life. They can be 120kgs and still think they are gods gift and yet a 50 kilos woman can justify bulimia because she couldn’t fit into her Sass and Bide jeans. Case in point right there.
* wee joke credit to Carl Barron.
P.S. I would TOTALLY do the head shaving thing if you were offering. Charity would be involved though right?
For the first time ever, I’m speechless… Craig makes a very strong argument for being a guy, and yet I still love being a girl – for no logical reason. Oh wait, that’s part of being a girl!
Hello Anonymous.
So you know my middle name?
And you like farts.
Cool.
I think.
( )
Lia.
You’re kinda scary.
Bu funny.
I have all sorts of questions.
Your husband is a brave man.
( )
Hello Fart Girl.
(nice).
You’re welcome my flatulent friend.
( )- hug.. but not too hard. Don’t want you to smell the place up.
Hi Pen.
No more Gouda for you!
Peace.
Hi Miss Beck.
You.. are a very funny chick.
You made me laugh.
Thanks for your insight and perspective.
As for removing your locks; GIDDYUP!.. I’m warming the clippers as we speak (er, write and read). Let me know what suits you, we’ll get you hooked up.
You’ll look just like me… but pretty.
( )
Hi Jennifer.
Are you sure you don’t wanna be a boy… it’s so much easier?
( )
Pen – i am most definately a girl. Medieval? Bite Me!
As for Germaine….when was the last time this woman had an orgasm.
Be Gone Feminism! Hello Mars & Venus!!
ange-sydney
A quick glance back at the site shows the girls are definitely being heard today!
And in true girl style, we are all over the board. The best thing about girls… free thinking bunch, we are!
Yes Craig, you can call it “owning” or we can be honest and call it “worshiping”… either way, he is top priority first thing in the morning and (if karma is on your side) last thing at night! Think about that one and tell me I’m wrong, I dare ya!
Yes, i will admit guys have it easier but a wise person once said, “With great power comes great responsibility” thus is the curse of the woman! (and alas spiderman)
BTW, what have you ever gotten easy that meant anything to you?
Peace out!
(())
Tami
Hi Ange… and Jen.
I can sooo sense a girl-fight….
And there are sooo many hilarious but innaproproiate things I wanna say… but for once (stupidly), I’m refraining.
I think you two girls can agree to disagree… we love a litle healthy debate here at me dot com.
So thanks for having some fun(?) with it…
( )
( )
Hi Tami.
So much wisdom… and from a Spiderman movie.
( )
Hi Craig,
funny post once again. You make it
sound like to be a guy is easier.
Great point too. Wow! 11 minutes
to get ready! That must be great!
Also,wanted to tell you wrote a
coment on Darren – at Problogger this week. I like his blog & he
has great tips like you.
At the end- asked if he knew Craig Harper the author,
exercise scientist,
radio & TV guy from Australia.
He wrote back & said wanted to meet you but knew some of your people/staff?
Go and watch his video – at the top wearing the suit. He looks just like Phil Collins. promise.
Keep in touch,
Elizabeth G.
Surely it doesn’t matter whether your ‘getting ready to go out’ routine is 11 minutes long or an hour and a half? Length isn’t important… according to the guys
Oh Man…..you have out done yourself this time!! What a pearler of a post!! I LMAO reading it and some of the comments.
Well I gotta love being a bloke and love the girls too but wouldn’t change for quids!!
And as you mentioned a very blokey things to do is laughing at farts, fart jokes, gaging on them once in a while. A guys does this and thinks nothing of it….but a chic would have you think she doesn’t….that is until she gives herself away…cough….cough!!!Gag…Gag!!
Keep up the good work!!
Skater Boy.
Hi Elizabeth.
Glad you liked it… don’t know if you should read it though!
Yes, Darren has a great site.. and is one of the best resources in the world for bloggers…
He’s a champ.
So are you.
Take care.
Hi Diana.
Er… stop trying to trick me… my male brain hurts.
Too funny.
( )
Skater.
Whereyabeen Dude?
Missed you.
Peace.
New job = less free time, but happy with choice.
I’m gunna be a regular again…watch out!!
Cheers….SB
Girls have it easier because we have the power, but we don’t let you know it. You think YOU have the power. Pffft.
Best part of being a girl, my three year old, who I gave birth to and it was THE best experience of my life, you don’t know love until you’ve given birth to a child.
Absolutely, we live in a world which is unfairly geared towards men, blind freddy knows that.
What men don’t get about women is that it’s not rocket science, it’s actually very easy to get what you want, but men don’t have brains that cope with that concept or work it out. I could write a book with directions that would get EVERY man on the planet laid, but men don’t follow directions so what’s the use.
What women don’t get about men is that they never grow up. We keep expecting that one day our boys will mature, but nope it’s not gunna happen!
Bri – Newcastle, Australia
Skater.
Good.
Hi B.
EVERY man on the planet huh?
You write it, I’ll publish it.
Thanks for your thoughts.
( )
Hi Craig
Bumped here via Beck’s blog. She Dared me not to laugh. I failed. Great post.
Now – answers
1. Who has it easier, guys or girls? Guys – without a doubt
2. Why? Because they can go to a party every day of the week, in the same clothes, and no-one ever gives them that sly look that says “He can only fit into that ONE outfit” LOL.
3. Has there ever been a time when you would have swapped if you could? Yes. Mostly involving camping and road trips and wishing I wasn’t so vertically skill-challenged…
4. What is the best part about being a guy / girl for you? Being a Mum. I love being allowed to show public displays of affection. I love being able to get on the swings in the park. I like being able to fart – and then blame it on the kids..
5. Do we live in a world which is unfairly geared towards men? Yes. But I accept that and get on with it anyway. I STILL get pretty much anything I want
6. What men don’t get about women is…. ? We don’t care if you are going to be out all night and get stupidly drunk – we just want you to CALL us so we know you are ok..
7. What women don’t get about men is…. ? When they are that stupidly drunk they forget how to use the phone (multi-taking issue again).
Thanks for the laugh Craig – hope you have a smashing weekend.
Hi M.
Tell Beck I have my clippers ready…
Enjoy your Sunday M
Peace.
This has been the funniest thing I have read in a lonnnnng time!! lol
The reason we don’t laugh when guys let one rip?? Who wants to risk opening their mouth and possibly allowing some of that foul smelling air to enter!! UGHH!!
And once and for all, will all you guys finally realise that NO, it doesn’t smell great…and please stop asking! LOL
Kim (Qld)
Hee, Hee!!! This was hilarious!!! Long time lurker coming out of the woodworks. I’m a girl and I love it, childbirth and all!!!
1. Boys have it harder but girls get more respect for doing the same things a guy does…apart from the sexual conquest thing…what’s up with that?
3.Sometimes I wish I could swap…just for the sexual conquest thing…yes I know.
4. Best thing about being a girl is having boobs…I love mine!! Serioulsy, best thing about being a girl is being able to have a close relationship with other girls without people wondering “what’s going on there?” Oh, and not having to prove how testosterone charged we are.
The real reason I wanted to de-lurk is just to say that I think farts are funny!!! In fact, I broke the fart barrier with my then new boyfriend…sitting in the bath having a romantic..umm bath when all of a sudden I kind of let one out and this bubble of water just carried it up….blooop!!! It was very funny! When we stopped laughing I think we were in love
Been together 6 years and still laughing at farts. So it’s not just a guy thing…
we can fake orgasm , makes life easier
were as guys continuosly worry about sex and size and stuff that us girls really dont care about.
I think its funny how the post has been mostly reduced to the farts comment. My partner and I eat so much broccoli and other fibrous greens that its not really funny when EITHER of us do it anymore… damn that cool joke has been lost on us forever..
Overall I would say that we agree that we are living in a ‘man’s world’ however that in truth women are the ones really running the show. I’m not a ‘girly girl’ but I do enjoy being able to use it to my advantage when and if I chose to!
As for the ‘medieval’ debate, I say each to their own! If a girl wants to live in private that’s her choice, but I do things openly in my own home because.. its easier! maybe that’s a male trait in me…
Have you had a shave this week yet, Craig?
One question I’d like to ask is, why do some organisations, in consultation with their corporate uniform supplier not do trousers in women’s sizes and women’s cuts (given we’re now in the year 2009 and us chicks like the waist band at the hips not half way up to our bust), and women’s shoes/boots? Am I a man? Last time I checked I wasn’t. And therefore, do I need a 30cm long crutch? Nope. So what do I do? I drown in one size, and yet the smaller size is a bit tight in the leg and I can’t go into a full squat which I need to be able to do for my job. F***. I need to lose fat in my legs, in 6 weeks. How do I do that? Run/walk a 42.2 km marathon every week? That could work?
I really don’t wanna be a bloke. Your hormones would kill me in 2 days, if not 2 hrs. You can have them.
Re: waxing, Lance Armstrong waxes. And a bloke friend of mine who does Ironman triathlons waxes his legs too. Makes it easier if you crash and get gravel rash. But shit, even I haven’t braved the full leg wax yet… Bodybuilders wax too, don’t they – full body?? Is that why you didn’t go pro?