In Queensland.
No big deal.
Unless of course the ex-boyfriend is in Queensland, he’s going to the wedding and he’s the Master of Ceremonies.
Asking me to MC any wedding is a high-risk strategy but putting me in charge of the day’s proceedings for my ex-girlfriend’s wedding is innovate, creative, brave and quite possibly….
stupid.
What are they thinking?
Have they not seen my track record?
Do they not know how socially innapropriate I can be?
There ain’t no ‘how to’ book on this.
I googled it.
Donuts.
Nothin’.
It’s nearly midnight and I’m sitting here wondering what the protocol is for such an occassion.
Should I prepare?
And if I should……prepare what?
I don’t even know her bloke, Lincoln.
Everyone says he’s fabulous.
Apparently much better than I ever was.
Not that I’m insecure.
Not that it’s a competition.
He’ll hate me for sure.
Who wants his girl’s ex-boyfriend doing a running commentary at their wedding?
Should I mention that I’m the ex (for those in attendance who don’t know) or is that completely innapropriate?
And if I do, exactly what do I mention?
Do I do it early… or wait till the grog kicks in?
Should I be funny and amusing or should I be philosophical, theological and deep?
Perhaps I should quote 1 Corinthians 13 (love is kind, love is not jealous etc.), as they do at every other wedding I’ve ever been to….or perhaps I should go the Adam Sandler option and belt out a few bars of White Wedding.
Should I follow the standard script… or should I freestyle and create mayhem?
I’ve asked around and everyone says “just be you”.
Mayhem it is.
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