When Thinking Gets in the Way
Lately I’ve written much about the chaotic mind, the propensity we have to over-think and the inability so many of us have to escape the internal noise, get out of our thoughts and find our way back to a little tranquility. Or as Happy Gilmour calls it, our Happy Place. Being constantly trapped in our stinkin’ thinkin’ can be a ticket to depression, anxiety and stress… not to mention the possibility of those less-than-desirable decisions, behaviours and outcomes. If you’re a chronic over-thinker, you know exactly what I’m talking about. All too often our thinking gets in the way of our happiness and our peace of mind. And our career. And relationships. And potential. And health. And… the list goes on.
The realisation that “I am not my thoughts” can be a very liberating one for people who not only identify strongly with their thoughts, but actually become their thoughts. In case you’ve never been told, I’ll tell you now:
“You are not your thoughts and your thoughts are not you.”
Thought Happens
Thought happens automatically, independently and continually, as do all of our internal processes – circulation, respiration, chemical reactions, sweating, vaso-constriction and dilation, digestion, healing… and many more. Yes we can choose what we do with, or about, our thoughts, and yes we can ‘manage’ our cerebral landscape to a point, but the human condition means that thoughts will constantly arrive in our head, like a never-ending stream of cars pulling into a petrol (gas) station. And naturally, many of those cars aren’t vehicles we wanna drive.
What the?
We’ve all had those completely weird “where-the-F-did-that-thought-come-from” moments. Surely you remember that time when you fantasized about killing your annoying neighbour because he played his music so loud… okay, maybe that was just me.
I knew I shouldn’t watch Dexter before bed.
Of course there is also conscious thinking on our behalf – which usually comes in the form of problem solving, strategic planning, memory recall and organisational thinking, but in truth, much of what happens at that gas station above our shoulders is – despite us.
It just happens. And happens. Like waves crashing on the beach.
Finding our Way to Consciousness
The beginning of consciousness and inner freedom is having an ‘awareness’ of our thoughts without necessarily being completely identified with them. Observing them without being ‘in’ them. The relevant picture I have in my mind is of me standing on one side of an old timber fence, with my arms and chin perched on the top. On the other side of the fence my thoughts parade by me like models on a catwalk. They are unaware of me but I can see them clearly. They are mine but they are not me.
In this place, I am merely an observer of my thoughts.
In this place I have the choice of investing time, energy and emotion into those thoughts… or not.
The Observer
Once I become the observer and not the inhabitor of my thoughts, I have the ability to move from mental and emotional incarceration, to total freedom. Freedom to create an existence beyond the confines of my conditioning, my social programming, my fears and my (once) destructive thinking. Freedom to create an identity, reality and purpose beyond my chaotic mind. And freedom to discover who I am and what I can become, beyond my thoughts.
Feel free to borrow my fence.
Coming Up…
Over the next week or two, I will be sharing some practical and effective strategies for escaping the mayhem that is (often) our thoughts; techniques for being the calm in your storm. I realise that for some of you, this kind of information is ‘old news’ and for others, it’s possibly a little weird and confronting. It was for me too. Especially ‘me’ the Scientist. Today I merely wanted to open the door on a fascinating area; an area that once understood and embraced, can be life-changing. Your moving-toward-consciousness exercise for this week is to do your best to recognise thoughts as they pull into your station without being them. Being the observer of your thoughts (looking over the fence) without ‘being them’ allows you to avoid the emotional buy-in. That is, the place where we attach fear, anxiety, anger, resentment and a range of other destructive emotions (and subsequent behaviours) to those thoughts.
Let me know your thoughts by simply clicking on the comment thingy. If you’re not sure how to leave a comment, click here.
Ciao x
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Hi Craig,
I understand we should observe our thoughts so that we don’t become attached and they take over but how then do we deal with these thoughts? These would be caused by some situation or by another person.
Observing prevents you getting stuck or being taken over. How do we then deal with the cause?
“…our cerebral landscape”
Sounds like a title of a piece of artwork. If I were to paint it, it’d resemble a surrealism piece. “Jules – stop it. You’re better than that. Move beyond the chaos in your head and create the amazing life you always think, talk and write about.” Yes, Craig. Creating the amazing career starts on Wednesday. Creating the amazing body is in progress.
And… if I were to compose an orchestral piece under the same title – it’d be some bizzre contemporary piece with not a single rest for anyone for 5 hours. My poor orchestra who perform the world premiere
Hi Craig,
I look forward to reading the rest of the articles on this but in the mean time I will do the exercise from todays post, thanks
Hugs
Chelle xxx
Hi Craig,
Great topic! I can’t wait to read the rest!!
You are so right when you say our thinking can get in the way of everything …
Overthinking (and letting my thoughts control me) is my major problem – leads to all manner of destructive feelings/behaviours.
Frankly, I can’t wait to learn some strategies to stop it.
It’s so bloody annoying!!
( )
Em
(Tassie)
You got me thinking Craig, but then that’s not the objective is it! Great post.
Letting go of the anxiety and fear that I associate with (some of) my thoughts is my biggest challenge. Do you just observe the emotions too, or will they subside in time and become non-exististant?
"On the other side of the fence my thoughts parade by me like models on a catwalk."
I like your analogies. Quite err unique. [Did you like my traffic controller one the other day?]
–> That must be a pleasant image you have there
"It just happens. And happens. Like waves crashing on the beach."
–> That one doesn't surprise me given you're a Bayside bloke (although spot the wave on Port Phillip Bay! There ain't any.). I might borrow that one if that's okay I'm a Bayside chick now.
Jules (Melbourne)
Morning Craig,
I fully identify with your post today, I am a cronic overthinker or I used to be, I am really trying to get it under control.
The technique I use for thoughts I dont want to have or mental images that pop in my head that I dont want is to imagine a fireplace with a fire burning brightly, I grab the thought or mental image and throw it into the fireplace and then just keep moving. I dont own the thoughts, they are not me so I can choose what stays and what goes, I love it, it gives me the power back to decide what is best for me, it takes some practise but I can now burn a thought up in a flash ha ha ha lol.
It has worked wonders for me, I have had some major personal challenges over the last year that this technique has been invaulable for, I learnt it from a friend who is a Hypnotist.
Have a great day
Love Mel
Gooood Morning…
I am currently ‘studying’ E.T and am trying to get my head around this.
I like it.
Cheers
x
Dear Craig,
After realising that my parents are not resposible for who I have become and for the future, (from last weeks’ post) somehow I manage to continue to over think….and mixathink. I never used to get headaches. They come frequently now. And the head is heavier. It is affecting business, sleep, relationships and overall happiness.
A friend asked me this morning if I was OK. And I had to not nod. I don’t feel OK. The mind is a scramble – like you are on a fast train and you can’t get off and can’t reason with the idea of accepting you’re on the train – relax and enjoy the journey.
Usually a positive person who likes to inspire – and can do so pretty well. But I just feel….stuffed!
I’m sure there are other fabulous super readers out there who are experts at overthinking. Although we look forward to reading what you are going to say, I ‘think’ I reckon some of us will know the answer/s….. Just do it! Just do it!
Looking forward to a time when the mind has some clean air in it…and it will come!
Kathryn
I love this topic. Yes, I agree we give too much of our time or perhaps it is more accurate to say – we give too much emphasise to our thoughts. Instead of noticing them and then letting them drift on past us (like in your over the fence analogy) we sometimes focus too much attention on them, enlarge them and make them into something they were never meant to be. ‘We are not our thoughts’ – how true. They also do not have any power over us – that is the best thing I’ve learnt by not ‘becoming my thoughts.’
I also find another good way of slowing down thoughts is to focus on only one thing at a time. I know we are all capable of multi-tasking (and in some instances, a useful thing to do)but I think we can also benefit greatly from slowing down and giving all of our attention to just one thing at a time. A more peaceful way to be….perhaps.
Thanks for exploring this topic Craig…look forward to more coming up.
love,
Mon ( )
Hey
Last week I went to a concert with people that I really love and get on with so well.
But from the last time hubby and I saw them to the concert they were like different people.
Straight away I start stripping my brain for what I could have done wrong, as usual with my foot in mouth syndrome there were many possibilities and it did actually keep me awake the first and second nights for a period of time.
As usual I was trying to work out how I could make things better, check all was ok, totally and utterly over-thinking.
After waking in the middle of the night on the second night and those thoughts again creeping in making me more awake than I should have been I stopped, mentally looked at them and decided that if they had a problem then it was theirs, if it WAS with me then it’s only mine if they decide to share and other than that they have known me long enough to know what I’m like, they take me as I am and have always loved me that way.
So I put a stop to it right then and there, I am not worried, I know it will al be okay.
This is just one example of what I have been practising since reading your last post about mr Tole. It is very freeing.
Cheers,
CJ
Artemis – practically and unemotionally.
The ’cause’ will always be there – in some shape or form.
Change what you can – let go of what you can’t.
“Jules – stop it. You’re better than that”
Are you commenting to me or you Jules?
Cheers Chelle x
Hi Mandy.. Doh!
I’m confused
Thanks for the practical tip Mel… nice ( )
Deep breaths Kathryn… ( )
Good for you CJ ( )
Really look forward to the strategies Craig. In the meantime, will definitely borrow your fence and work on being the observor. As always, thanks Craig.
J9 ()
You can stand next to me J9
I have read a bit about this in various places but your fence analogy is an easier concept than I have come across. look forward to learning more as I struggle with my thoughts every day
hi there,
don’t know which book i read this in however it covers your discussion rather succinctly.
i am that which owns this body not the body itself,
i am the observer of my thoughts,
i seek peace and elightenment in my thoughts.
having said that and read your article and have read et a couple of times i struggle with “you are not your thoughts” well where did they come from if not the head resting on ones shoulders. surely they are from your upbringing with all its ups downs and impressions (and lots more). it partly sounds to me to me that we are skimming over issues that need to be dealt with rather than “oh, look at that a bad thought” surely one must ask that question especially if one is thinking of killing the neighbour your example there. i agree with what you are saying but some days i struggle with letting thoughts go by. thankyou.gabrielle
My analogy is that I’m an airplane going from destination to destination – and my thoughts are pieces of baggage on a luggage carousel and there some pieces of baggage I should happily let go past me, and then leave behind when I start towards my next destination.
Cheers,
Ben
"Let me know your thoughts by simply clicking on the comment thingy."
Hey Craig !! I just watched my thoughts parade right on by……..
;o>
{{HUG}} Tina
Dear Craig,
Although I still have a bit of a headache, I re-read your posting just now after reading the posts of your readers.
I interpreted it much differently this morning.
Understanding your being the observer now. So much clutter in the noggin’ this morning ….couldn’t see the forest for the trees.
Thanks
A much calmer Kathryn.
Hi Craig,
I look forward to the articles to come. It is such an interesting topic to tackle.
I recently suffered from postnatal depression and “believed” basically everything I thought in my head. I “believed” I was a bad mum, I “believed” everyone thought I was a failure…. and the list is endless.
But after reading one of your posts about the choices we make each day, I decided to choose not to be depressed anymore. I decided to consciously choose to have an amazing day and the thoughts in my head were just that… a thought.
The reality was that I was a mother of 2 (under 2 y.o) who managed a successful business, ran a household and managed to have a social life as well. The only thing sabotaging me was my thoughts.
Now I am merely an observer of my thoughts and choose when to invest time, energy and emotion them. It does take work though but I am better for it.
This post reminded me of where I was 3 months ago mentally and emotionally and re-affirmed that your fence concept really works.
Cheers,
Asma
Thanks Anon…
Hi Gabrielle – lots of questions that I don’t have time to answer in this comment but thanks for your thoughts..
Now you’re just showing off Ben.
Okay, your analogy is better.
Nice work Big Fella
You’re welcome Calm Kathryn ( )
Thanks Asma – good for you.
Keep up the good work
Hello Craig,
Yes I am aware of my over thinking that I do, the only question I have is how do you deal with the emotions attached to the over thinking?
Lately I have been recognising when I'm over thinking & how that affects me, I really want to change this, will be reading your posts this week thats for sure.
Hugs
Charlotte xxxx
sorta puts pay to Descartes “I think therefore I am”…
Dunno what to think now!
Sometimes you have to envy dogs….thinking about nothing all day… they’re just happy, especially when someone leaves the gate open……….
Linda J…. Just on Descartes.. may clear up your confusion
there is a book called Descartes’ Error by Antonio Damasio. It’s based on his opinion that Descartes made the error of separating the body and the mind, and that we exist just because we have a mind and can think. He suggests that when we are born, we don’t think (consciously), but we still exist…he suggests that a more accurate statement would be “we are, and then we think”…
too much to think about..i Know…
:-0
Loretta
Not being my thoughts is incredibly liberating. I still have lots of work to do in that area, but the times when I’m able to step away and observe, my whole body loosens up and I can breathe really easily.
I’m looking forward to your next posts.
Craig,
Continued and ongoing THANKS to you for helping me to change, to free my mind and to make a committment to changing my life. I have changed. And I am continuing to change more every day.
Today, I am down 102 lbs. since August 11th! I didn’t think I could do it. But know I know that “could” is all relative, the real question is Would I do it!
The freeing of my mind, the weight loss and the movement towards the realization of my potential continues……..
How do you adequately thank someone for helping to teach you that???
- Steve in California
(50 lbs. more to go, then I throw out my scale and measure my body fat%)
Stay tuned Charlotte.. ( )
Hi Linda J – take a peek at Lorettas comment below yours… makes sense to me! Cheers.
Hi Loretta – can you answers all those tough questions for me? Would make my life much easier.
Thanks for helping out
Good for you Laurie – enjoy the freedom… ( )
Hi Steve from California…
DUDE!!!
Even though we’ve never met in person, I am proud of you and what you’re doing. Keep doing what you need to and keep being the change in your world.
It’s amazing what can happen when we stop letting our mind get in the way of our potential!
Love to see a photo or two..
Keep it up shrinking man.
Is it wrong that I still laugh till I cry when I see the dwarf antics in Happy Gilmour’s “Happy Place”???
LOLxx
I am a great believer in changing your thought patterns and having completed a couple of courses of CBT I completely know it can be done. You can choose to think yourself into success.
Jules2
Thanks Craig for an absolute gem of a reminder for me. The timing of this post for me was magic… (I’m gonna use your fence by the way. Its already errected in my cerebral landscape !)
Hi Craig
Thank you for another interesting post and sharing your reflections on your own personal development. I have just started reading Tolle (after reading one of your past articles) and find it challenging as i read and reflect on my own thoughts/emotions/actions. Reading the comments to this article has given me some ideas of how to step outside of my thoughts. I know that i am on a long journey and its great to read of others who are also on such a journey. Looking forward to your next article.
Barbara
very interesting post.
nobe
web designer
http://www.inowweb.com
Very good post. Thanks.
Gosh, I’ve totally had those ‘kill the neighbour’ thoughts too… well, maybe not so much ‘kill’ but certainly ‘throw a rotting potato over their balcony’ type of thoughts! In fact, I have the loud music going on right now, thumping above me and stinky incense filling up my unit – it takes a lot of hard work to distance myself from my negative thoughts and I”m not sure I’ve ever really accomplished it, but I’m trying. Your articles certainly help me to stay committed to doing so…. so thanks!