Long-Face Central
Monday July 12, 6.45pm
Hi Guys. I’m currently sitting in an airport lounge in Melbourne on my way to the thriving metropolis that is Sydney. What an interesting cross-section of humanity airports are. I’ve been smiling at people in the business lounge just to see what might happen. Apparently, friendliness is illegal. There’s a strict ‘no smiling’ policy. I’ve had about fifty scowls and two smiles – one from an older lady (seventy-plus) and one from a kid (whose mother scowled at me for smiling at her kid). Sigh. I must have missed the fine print when I signed up for the business lounge. It’s kinda sad that we live in a time when smiling at someone is more likely to be seen as weird or suspicious, than it is friendly. What’s with that whole friendliness thing anyway? As if that’s gonna catch on. Pfft.
Crazy talk.
Food Frenzy
This place is indeed a people-watching extravaganza (as I’ve mentioned in a previous post). If you were doing some PhD studies in behavioural science, you could seriously do your entire thesis in this place. I especially love watching the feeding frenzy at the food section. Clearly some of the poor souls here haven’t eaten for weeks. I love how they reach across in front of other people at the servery (is that what it’s called?) – like someone’s gonna steal that last stinky, stanky piece of shrivelled-up, deep-fried crap that’s been sitting there for the last four hours. Some people sure get a little frantic around food.
Good grief.
I just noticed there’s a girl sitting across from me with an Ipad. My once-highly-desirable, state-of-the-art laptop now looks like an over-sized, out-dated, cyber-relic. Not that I have any issues about it. Okay, three.
Tuesday July 13, 4.30pm
Sorry Guys, I got cut short yesterday and didn’t get a chance to finish (or post) an instalment. I’ve never blogged on a plane but today is that day. Right now I’m halfway between Sydney and Perth and I’m sitting next to a man who smells kind of horrible. Very horrible, in fact. Like old cheese. Blue-vein, I think. Oh well. Hopefully, he has poor eyesight (so he can’t read this) to accompany his poor personal hygiene!
How do you know when you live in a massive country? When you fly for five hours and (1) you’re still in the same country and (2) you haven’t reached your destination yet! Geez this place is enormous. If I was flying through Europe, I would have seen fifteen different countries by now.
I don’t want to gross you all out but there’s a man sitting behind me who’s coughing incessantly. Well, that’s not gross but the next bit is. During one of his violent coughing episodes he actually launched some slag on to the top of my head. I felt it land. Nice. Hope you’re enjoying your breakfast.
Anyway…
Today I want to chat to you briefly about momentum as I sense there’s some wheel-spinning taking place with a few (thousand) of you.
Have you ever tried to push a car from a standing start? It’s kinda tough isn’t it? Almost impossible. What about pushing the same car, on the same surface once it’s already rolling? Easy peasy. Of course, keeping that car moving once you’ve created momentum requires far less energy. You don’t need to be physicist to know that.
Ready, Set, Go
Sometimes, our life (or part thereof) is that parked car. We’re stationary. Going nowhere. Handbrake on. We’re always talking about getting the wheels turning but for a range of (alleged) reasons we seem to constantly inhabit the same space. The area of concern could be our career, our academic endeavours, our health, our finances, a relationship, an attitude, a destructive habit or any area of our day-to-day reality.
We stagnate for a range of (mostly fear-based) reasons but the point is, one way or another (if we’re serious about moving beyond our own version of Groundhog Day) we need to find a way to create (and maintain) momentum.
Here are some momentum-creating suggestions for you chronic stagnators:
1. Stop waiting for the mystical, magical right time to take action (for the most part, it’s a myth).
2. Make a public commitment. Sometimes a little pressure and expectation (from others) is just what we need to lever ourselves out of our holding pattern.
3. Hang out with people who are positive and proactive. That is, people who will drag you up, not down.
4. De-emotionalise the process. Sometimes emotion needs to make way for logic, strategy and organisation.
5. Consider the cost of not changing. Visualise your life (or an aspect of your life) five years from now if you fail to take action. Ugly.
6. Join a group. Clearly, this is not appropriate or applicable for every personal endeavour but it’s often easier to make progress when we have a support group.
7. Get a coach. A coach doesn’t need to be highly-paid professional, it might be a friend or acquaintance who will call you on your (excuse-making) crap and help you stay focused, committed and productive.
8. Set some deadlines. Time-tabling plans and goals can be an effective way to bring a little urgency (and momentum) to the change process.
9. Do something you’ve never done. When we do things we’ve never done, cool things happen. We experience an internal shift. We begin to consider new possibilities. We question our (self-limiting) beliefs. We stop rationalising procrastination. We become more aware of our potential.
10. Ask better questions. Become the solution-focused person.
You’re welcome. 
*In case you’re wondering, I wrote this post in word (on the plane) and then copied it into my publishing program when I reached terra-firma. No, I didn’t have Internet access in the clouds. 
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lol, love the descriptions of the other passengers Craig. At least they didn’t remove their shoes, now that would have been a reason to ask for another seat. Toejam is strictly for trained professionals..
Thanks for sharing the gobbing incident – yuk.
Hey Craig !
Geez, just when I thought I’d conquered my fear of flying… now I have a whole new set of reasons to be afraid !!!
{{HUG}}
Tina
Number 5 is precisely what got me out of my rut seven years ago.
I received a big smack over the head when my mother got the news she needed a hip replacement at the age of 62. She had high cholesterol and some other issues too. It suddenly hit me that I was heading the same way – arthritis, heart disease and other nasties were waiting to trip me up if I stayed on the same path.
A future of ill-health and misery wasn’t very appealing for some reason…
Its funny but I was in Sydney about 4 weeks ago and with the exception of a few people, I find it actually a friendlier place with smiling people. Things have changed there, I think, being an ex Sydney sider I just find it diffferent. Whilst Melbournites take the cake for friendliness, Brisbane and Adelaide people are grumpy as.
With today’s post what I take it away is the solution focused point, but I also think as has been stated in the past, sometimes the solution is detachment. I was thinking for example I snapped at a few people on and off line as I was trying to finish a report, and I thought the solution is to stop and get away from them. I was stagnating. This morning I feel like I can continue.
Great post. I find small steps the best way to start the momentum going. If I thought about 5 years in the future, the whole thing would become so huge I’d never start!
RE: the airport lounge, you never know why ppl are flying. Maybe they going to be with a sick/dying loved one, maybe they have just separated from someone they care about. Give them the benefit of the doubt, they might be normally the friendliest folk around!
My husband had a lightbulb moment last night, after I gave him your book “fattitude” to read. When he came down stairs he declared that he wanted to start doing weights and to get in shape!!!!
OMG, i have been at him for a long time to get in shape, but you Craig have seen to have done something remarkable. My husband is 41 and has never stepped foot into a gym let alone being personally trained. I can’t wait for him to begin. He declared last night that he will do 2 days a week @ Harpers!! I hope his momentum will keep going.
Love the post thanks Craig
I know you didn’t mean to open up a “my city is the best” comp, but I reckon you need to come to Hobart, we are very smiley here
Whenever I have ventured to Sydney or Melbourne I am astonished by not just vacant ignoring, I couldn’t care less about you looks but active looks of “snarleyness”, I habitually go round smiling at everyone I make eye contact with, but some people look at you like you are mad!
My theory is the bigger the city, the worse the snarls!
Oh well too bad, I think I will keep smiling
It might brighten someone’s day, or at least my own.
Have a great day and remember to smile!!!!
Hi Craig,
Yup, it’s been a while since I posted…sorry about that, I have been busy with the “doing” more than the writing!!!
I joined Fernwood a year ago and totally love it, but I felt I needed a bit of help…along came a challenge at Fernwood…Tour de Fox which starts with cycling..in line with the Tour de France. (so far in 2 nights I have managed 33.04 out of 169.5kms.- 15km in 45.57 mins then 18.04 in 46.32 mins) It was just what I needed to get a bit of momentum going in what was becoming a bit of a slack attendance record…ok I was out of action for a couple of weeks as I had to have another thing removed from above my knee…turns out it was a follicle cyst and not a BCC like it was last year. I didn’t want to take too much time off rom the gym so decided to modify the program I had to just concentrate on my upper body. (dr’s orders were no “squats” or knee bends until stitches out)..it would have been far easier to have just not gone but I didn’t want to do that, the “old” me would have rested!!!
Ohh and I love the airport/plane descriptions but ewww on the slag on the head….I just love the way you need to share it with us. I must say as a result I find myself watching people a lot now…
geez Mr H I can’t imagine why they might have been a little wary about the strange smiling man wearing cargo pants and with what appeared like rocks in his shirt. Perhaps they wondered if those guns were actually ticking. lol.
Harpzen Master,
Funniest post ever…LOL!
You are so right about meeting a diverse cross-section of humanity at airports. I had a ‘learning’ experience on my flight last week to Brizzy (didn’t take as long!) A gentleman sitting next to me may have had a hard day at work (this was 630 am flight) and as usual I said hello. He mentioned something similar to the brand name Fcuk and added ‘off’ at the end (don’t know why)
Anyhowz I took this as rejection to my warm hearted gesture (it was cold morning!) etc etc and started going into self pity mode. Suddenly I had a spiritual experience of ‘let go’ come to me (may have been too close to clouds!) Even though I had to sit right next to the gentleman for the next hour, I let go of the fact to be ‘liked’ and refused to hand over my personal power. In fact I made myself very comfortable by utilising his side of the armrest as well. Don’t know why he had a horrible look on his face all the way?
We landed and I put forward a huge smile and wished him a good day but he didn’t reciprocate…hmmmm it must have something to do with the flight being too long, the food may have been crappy, the guy sitting next to him was too big for his seat etc etc…
In that hour long flight I ‘learnt’ a lot about myself, ‘laughed’ at myself, ‘loved’ the fact that ultimately attitude not aptitude determines altitude (I was indeed flying high!!)
BTW there is something called cloud computing!
Dhillon
It is officially true that smiling is prohibited in public places with a limited number of quite specific exceptions.
1. A one week period directly leading up to Christmas. This is not officially applicable if you are working in retail or dealing with highly opinionated family members. Or are trying to buy batteries early on Christmas morning.
2. At times of publicly declared national joy – usually limited to international sporting achievement.
3. If the child smiles at you first, after having got away with something that, while not strictly poor behaviour, indicates a particularly Australian disregard for unnecessary authority.
Entertaining read Craig and I think accurately depicts my life. Scary!
Public commitment.
Tomorrow morning after my coffee meet up with a friend – rejoin the gym (been all talk so far but will do it).
Commit to going more than the once a week I managed before.
Commit to coming on here when I get rid of the 35kgs I have left to move and shout out a huge YAYYY!!
Hi Everyone.
Currently sitting in a cafe in Perth, checking emails and comments while I wait to motivate the masses – I’m on stage in exactly twenty eight minutes from now. Perhaps I should b psyching myself or something? Or not. Thanks for your comments and feedback.
Enjoy your day Gang. Group Hug ( )
I love people watching at airports! and I love to smile at everyone I make eye contact with, just to see what kind of reaction I will get
It is really sad that we as a society have become so frightened to look at someone for fear of what might happen.
I had an experience at christmas on a flight to gold coast, a rather large man with an odur problem was in the seat next to me, I was between him & my husband (also not a little fellow), as we taxied away from the terminal the gentleman next to me was obviously distressed but was trying to remain calm, (it wasn’t working) so I found myself talking to him about his family and where he was of to etc, this had an amazing affect on him as I was able to calm him down, get him to breath deeply & take his mind of the flight.
It made him calmer & me feel like I was helping a stranger get through a tough moment, that put another smile on my dial
As for momentum I get stuck sometimes and other times I am flying!
Sue
Thanks Craig – I particularly appreciated the last bit of your post as I had lapsed into a little magical thinking lately (specifically….me not changing anything would (ta da) = amazing results!!…clearly not going to happen). So thanks for the wake up call before that downward curve became more of a jelly (belly) roll….cheers S
Well now… Small update.
I’ve been steadily improving my life, thanks in no small part to how I’m applying the lessons here. (Honestly, I’ve stopped reading other personal-development sites, because I can learn how to make spreadsheets of daily affirmations and organize to-do lists so many different ways, but they do no good if I don’t do something.)
In the past year, I’ve gone from an unemployed college drop-out, to a successful software developer, pushing the envelope of internet-janitorial duties. (The company I work for is in the business of removing spam, profanity, etc., from various different web sites.)
I’ve gone from a skinny lazy slob (high metabolism, I take no credit for my lack of fat) to a skinny lazy cleaning pro. Okay, so I only fixed the slob part, but I can see the surface of my desk, and the carpet around my bed… unheard of achievements a year ago.
At least, that was my life two days ago. My wife is very happy with the improvements, I’m very happy with the improvements, and I’ve built up a full head of steam to keep the momentum going.
Yesterday, I found out that I’m going to be a father.
Craig, CJ (and Johnny… I know the value of the guy in the background who keeps things running)… Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you, all three of you, for pushing me out of my comfort zone, for pointing out when I’m being stupid, and for showing that improving my life isn’t hard, it’s necessary.
You’ve helped me build momentum, and I’ve just had a very large reason for continuing to grow dropped in my lap… If you add energy to an inert system, there is usually just a chaotic explosion, but add the same energy to a moving system, and that energy usually helps to stabilize and to accelerate.
Again, thank you, all three of you, for helping me get to a point where I’m not panicking. I know I have a lot of hard, necessary, draining work ahead of me, but I can take it minute by minute, day by day, and see it through.
On another note… My last cigarette was 20 hours ago. Wish me luck on that one too!
Ok,
so I’ve spent the last 24 hours searching for the cameras and microphones…
I commented last time on the freaky way you have of coincidentally blogging about what seems to be going on in my life – and how it was just a little too ‘close to the bone’ last time – and how that spurred me into action.
Well…
Based on the mental (and emotional) kick in the pants I recieved from that little wake up call:
– I’m reading ‘Fatitude’ and carrying it with me to re-read bits when I feel the need.
– I have been to gym every morning and slowly ‘pushing’ the limits(except this morning – because I left my work pass at home and instead spent an hour walking around the city in the drizzle to at least do something exercise-like)
– I spoke with an executive recruiter and committed to get her some info on me within a week (deadline=yesterday) She actually contacted me out of the blue having found me on a business networking site, but it was I who made the committment to deliver a resume.
- I re-visited and re-built my resume for the first time in 6 years (almost 13 years in the same company means you don’t need to do this at all really) No small task for someone who hasn’t really had to evaluate his ‘value propositions’ for more than a dozen years.
- I started into a task for my magic work that isn’t due for months (and won’t be delivered for 12 months) – but will be so much better for the added time and effort that I wouldn’t normally give it.
- I even started to commit to handy-man jobs around the home, in writing, to my wife – just so she has a list and a deadline to hold me to. (haven’t added agreed consequences, but she’ll add those with, or without my agreement)
So – without being told to, I’ve managed to ride the wave of momentum – and even paddle on my own a bit to speed things up.
Oh, and I was also wearing my ‘suck it up princess’ t-shirt (that the wife bought me) on the weekend.
But, of course you know that – you probably have it CCTV video…
M@
what a way to start the day… waking up to a CH original such as this… man, u the best !!!
The tips are awesome. Thnak you:-)