Book review 18 and a guest post: Who’s Your Handler?

Before today’s post, take a look at our latest book review (review 18) by Jo Deeker here. Feel free to comment on the reviewed book, to encourage our reviewer, or just say hi and add your thoughts. Thanks Jo.

Hi Guys.

Well, following the successful introduction of guest bloggers to our site last week with the annoyingly talented Steve Olson making me look bad, we have secured the services of another great blogger from the land of milk and honey; Aaron Potts. Now, if you think I’m blunt then you may want to sit down to read this post and possibly even take one of those indigestion tablets you have sitting on your dresser. Aaron makes me look like a self-help pussy. Anyway, a big thanks to Mr. Blunt from Florida – we appreciate you sharing your time, your talent, your knowledge, your skills and your passion with us. Group hug for Aaron ( )

A guest post by Aaron Potts (U.S.A.) at Today is That Day.

If someone were to ask if you were the person in charge of your life, would you say yes?
I know, I can hear your response already:

“Ain’t nobody runnin‘ my life but ME!”

A chorus of your friends chime in with phrases like “I know that’s right!” or “You tell ‘em whose boss!” or, my personal favorite, “You the man!”

High fives all around, and you all congratulate each other on being Masters of the Universe.

The problem is that most of you are full of it. Sure, you talk a good talk, but when it comes to walking the walk, there is someone else holding the leash, and you’re just along for ride.

Without even realizing it (or maybe you do), you allow your entire life to be handled by the people and the circumstances outside of yourself, and then you sit around wondering where your pot of gold is, or why your “happily ever after” is not actually very happy.

Yes, you are the one who actually decides how to react to the people and the circumstances of your life, but your reactions are colored by your desire to please, tend to, influence, or take care of others.

Family

Does the term “soccer mom” mean anything to you? I don’t know about the culture in Australia, but in the U.S. there is a reason why the term soccer mom exists, and while we’re at it, “mom’s taxi” is another good one.

That example picks on women in particular, but men are just as adept at allowing the needs of their family to dictate their day-to-day schedule, and even their attitudes about life overall, not to mention their ability (or lack thereof) to spend time every single day tending to their own desires.

How many times have you skipped a workout because of a family obligation? How many times have you NOT spent time learning something new because your family kept you busy right up until bedtime? How many business opportunities have you allowed to slip by the wayside because you just didn’t have enough time due to your hectic family schedule?

Career

Time for a show of hands. How many people in the room love their job, and they would do it every single day, even if they weren’t getting paid? How many people jump out of bed in the morning because they can’t wait to do their employer’s bidding?

If you don’t have the job that you love, make the money that you WANT to make, and have a career outlook so incredible that you just can’t believe your good fortune, then who exactly is it that is running your career agenda?

Yes, yes, I know. I can’t afford to quit my job. I don’t have enough skills to start my own business. My employer takes really good care of me. Blah, blah, blah…

Unless you are truly happy with your career status, then your career is being handled by someone other than yourself, and the worst part is, you keep letting it happen, day after day.

How’s that working out for you?

Health

The excuses for poor health may now file into the room in an orderly manner, take their seats, and then sit there with an indignant look that says “I am a valid excuse, and I don’t care what you say!”

I’m no English major (although I fake it often), but I’m pretty sure that “valid” and “excuse” are not allowed to be used in the same sentence.

An excuse is just that – an excuse. It is simply a rendition of someone or something outside of yourself that you are allowing to handle any given aspect of your life. The aforementioned family and job obligations are often cited as alleged valid excuses (there’s that phrase again!) as to why workouts never got done, or why healthy meals were never prepared or consumed.

Here’s the thing, though: At the end of the day, the week, the month, or the year, all your body knows is whether you exercised and ate right, or if you didn’t. No amount of excuses – no matter how “valid” – will change the physical fact that you either did the right thing for your body, or you didn’t.

Why you are allowing yourself to be Handled?

Quite frankly, you are either too lazy to make a consistent effort, or you lack the confidence needed to start being your own handler. It is all too easy to allow the obligations that you have to other people or circumstances to dictate what you are doing in any given moment.

It is easier to drop the kids off at soccer practice, and then sit there and make small talk with the other parents, than it is to go jog around the field.

It is easier to do the dishes and fold the laundry after dinner than it is to spend two hours working on building a business, or getting an education.

It is easier to keep your dead-end job by claiming you don’t have the right skills to start a business than it is to get the right skills, thus eliminating that excuse.

In short, you have a handler because it is easy to have a handler. Any idiot can be told what to do, can do menial tasks that kill time, or can die of a heart attack because they didn’t consistently exercise or eat right.

Career success, financial abundance, fulfilling relationships, wonderful levels of health and vitality; these things can be hard to attain, and they require a commitment over the long-term.

Who wants to work hard and make a true commitment, when they could just let their lives be handled by other people, thus vindicating their stark lack of success?

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