So my article about the four-legged Ugg boot seemed to push a few buttons and generate plenty of discussion, feedback and advice for the Blogger. While it was meant to be a silly, fun piece of literary fluff and a momentary distraction from the important business of personal development, it proved to be something more. Some of you seem to revel in my pain, discomfort, sleep deprivation and learning. And of course, my joy.
So Craig, How’s Marly?
For the those of you who don’t know about the moulting, shitting, barking, licking, drooling beast that’s staying at my house for two weeks, you can learn more about her here. I didn’t actually intend to write about Marly again but I have had many emails and countless enquiries from people at my workshops and at the gym about my hairy house-guest. In Queensland last Sunday I had a constant stream of questions about who was minding her while I was away, and how she’s enjoying her time at the House of Harper.
What Carpet?
You’ll be amused to learn that my house now looks like some kind of war zone, is an inch deep in hair, smells like a big wet dog and has probably plummeted in value by twenty five percent in the last week and a half. Here’s what (temporary) dog ownership has taught me so far:
1. A Golden Retriever will halve your productivity but double your happiness.
2. Worrying about the hair doesn’t get rid of it.
3. Apparently 5.30am is the ideal time for tug-of-war with the stinky rope.
4. The previously-mentioned 4am wee is clockwork.
5. The vacuum is the natural enemy of the Golden Retriever.
6. Dogs can go from being in a coma to barking uncontrollably (and scaring the shit out of an unsuspecting blogger) in 0.07 seconds.
7. If it’s edible or looks edible, it will be eaten.
8. That whole crapping thing? It doesn’t stop. It’s alright though because I’ve identified the problem; food. She’s now eaten her last meal. That should do it.
9. Never try to pat a dog while wearing a motorcycle helmet.
10. I could be a Golden Retriever except for the ass-sniffing thing.
Right, we’re off to the special dog park. To see the ugly dogs.
See you next time with the conclusion to my series on Beliefs.
Ciao x
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Dear Mr Harper
I know, those Golden’s are so pretentious, parading themselves around all those other ugly dogs.
Our Buddy is an outside dog, when he has his sleepovers, he is an inside dog. He is very smart and know the rules at each house.
No wonder Buddy hasn’t come home yet.
OMG that was hilarious Craig!!!
You are sooooo gonna miss her when she goes back home!
Have you finished spinning that shedded hair yet….my knitting needles are ready and waiting!
5.30am tug of war, like what else were you doing????
Did she give you a fright??? Poor Craig did you frighten her back in the helmet? LOL
Ooh good plan on the no food. Maybe the shitting thing might be better than her eating your house/car/motorbike…..yes they can! Just ask Grubby and Dee Dee.
How were the ugly dogs???
I hope you both have a “productive” day. Thanks for entertaining us!!!
Hugs to you Craig and pats to Marly
Michelle xx
Ps,Once again I had to retype this so I am hoping you ony get one…sorry if you get two…I need a new computer I think lol
Craig One thing you didn’t mention is that these fluffy, hair spitting creatures are very sneaky….they can capture a piece of your heart and you won’t even know it’s happening:)
M..PEI ..Canada!!! I know you’re saying where I **** is that
Hey Craig ! In reply to your response yesterday…
Craig Harper said…
So we're on the same team then Tina? ( )
Yep, I guess so… as long as I don't have to get me one of those Catholic hats ;o>
{{HUGS}} Tina
Hey! It’s not just a pretty golden retriever that halves your productivity but doubles your happiness!! We have a alsatian/collie/whatever else is in the mix that we drove 3 hours to pick up as a puppy!! He is a pain but adorable and everything my hubby does in the yard, Harvey un-does in no time!! But we love him all the same!!
Labas, Craig!!
Heh, as I can see you have learned numerous lessons from Golden Retriever. Nice. Your are couple now, share same life together so more joy for your life. Forget about productivity. Can’t be so irresponsible?
Wish unproductivity,
Saulius
Hi Anon
Yep, they know they’re gorgeous.
( )
I’ll be sending you the Marly wool soon Michelle. Perhaps a nice Marly scarfe… for next winter
( )
You’re right Moe – canine cunning.
Not fair.
Yep, where is that?
Cheers.
I could see you in one of those big weird-ass hats Tina…
Hi amycat
Yep, they’re all time bandits
( )
You got me laughing at point number 9 Craig. Nice post.
Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
You make me laugh Craig, cause it’s all so true!
I have a 52kg Rottie and a 32kg Mastiff x Ridgeback which are inside dogs.
So true about the hair and the stinky rope!
She obviously didn’t recognise you with the helmet on?
Where is PEI?…a VERY beautiful Island in Atlantic Canada:)
You should come visit…;)
Have you forgotten about Twitter?
I have three cats… I so understand about pet hair!
You might want to consider a robotic vacuum… I have hardwood floors and my latest tech toy is an iRobot Dirt Dog. Sweeps up the hair, the cat litter and is simple to clean. I get to live my life AND have clean floors! Who knew…
As owner of 2 Golden Retrievers Jessie [female], and Shadow [male], I had to laugh at your posts.
Hair, yep, it’s a fashion accessory, Gold goes with most things doesn’t it?
Golden tumbleweeds on the floor……yep, used to that too.
Water slobbering….I have a male Golden who loses half of what he laps up as he walks away from the water bucket. [note I said bucket, not bowl]. With 2 thirsty Goldens a water bowl wouldn’t last 2 hours, or else the female would ‘dig’ in the bowl thus spreading the water all over the floors.
On a hot day my female Golden, Jessie, who turns 7 this year, digs all the water out of the bucket outside and then lays in the water getting it all over her belly. Must be nice and refreshing for her.
5.30am is wake up time according to my goldens too. My man is used to being woken by a wet snout being pushed in his face, or a soft toy being carried around and shoved at him at 5.30am.
Goldens are wonderful dogs……..a saying about them is this one…
“In the beginning God created dogs and when he perfected them he made Goldens!”
Give Marly a hug from me please.