Hi Guys
I apologise for the lack of posts over the last few days but as weeks go, this has been a tough one. I’ll be back in full flight on Monday to poke, prod, challenge and dare you to greatness. Or at the very least…. positive change in your world!
My Buddy Dicko
Yesterday was a very emotional day for me (writing this Thursday); I attended the funeral of one of my best friends; Rob Dickson (see pictured with family). I’m pretty sure I lost half my body-weight in tears. Fortunately I wore one of my most absorbent shirts. A hundred kilos of blubbering mess; it wasn’t pretty. The service was also for Rob’s two young boys; Byron and Gabriel whose lives were cut tragically short as well. Rob and his family were involved in a car accident in South Africa, with the only survivor (of Rob’s family) being his wife, Dusty. Rob and I went to school together and have remained close friends over the years. The day before he went away we spoke on the phone, laughed and talked general crap as blokes do. He had just finished a massive work project, was exhausted and was very excited to be heading away for a much deserved break with his beautiful family. Some of you in Australia may have heard about the accident on the news, Rob was an accomplished film producer, ex-AFL player and successful business man. But more important than all of that, he was a spectacular human being. Or as we Aussies would say; a ripping bloke.
Alone in a Crowd
As I sat there in my elevated seat up near the rafters of the grand old church, I couldn’t help but stare down at Dusty sitting in the front row; surrounded by people who love her but at the same time, looking very alone. She was there physically, but on another level, she wasn’t really there at all. Understandably. My heart broke for her. In an instant her reality had been changed forever. She would never hold her boys again. Not in this lifetime anyway.
What Matters
It’s amazing what clarity we can have in moments such as these. Such insight. Such perspective. Such awareness. In that moment, in that situation, in that old church saying goodbye to my friend I realised that I have no real problems. At all. And I’m not talking about an intellectual “head” realisation but a spiritual and emotional realisation; one that inhabits every cell of your body. I also realised how much time and energy we humans waste on crap that ultimately doesn’t matter.
I wish I could have one more chance to tell my buddy that I love him and give him a hug, but I can’t. But for the rest of you who consider yourselves to be my friends, you better watch out because next time I see you, there’s gonna be some uninhibited hugging going on. And it might get messy.
What and who really matters to you?
See ya Dicko. Love you.
xxx
{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }
Love you mate.
A great post Craig – thank you.
–G.
Sorry to hear. Staying present is the best thing we can do. And we can always use more hugs in today’s world. Best wishes.
So sorry to hear about Dicko. Between your last post on grieving (answering a reader question) and this one, I have lost a special family member. I travelled across the Tasman to say goodbye to the best Nanna in the world. I could have filled an Olympic swimming pool (or two) in tears. I wanted to say a few words at the Service but I couldn’t do anything but cry. Nothing else mattered from that moment on. While the process of change is all about us, life is about family and friends and giving of our love – something that is priceless.
Having said that, it’s not a crime to celebrate your milestone achievements is it? Like, partaking in the age-old academic graduation ceremony thing. I graduated yesterday (Wed) with my first undergrad Bachelor’s degree. I’ll send you a pic. Was pretty special. Wouldn’t have missed that or my Nanna’s funeral for the world.
Thinking of you heaps, Craig. Dicko sounded like an amazing friend to have. Friends like that a rare gems, hey. Why is it so hard saying goodbye? (she says, as the tears fall once again).
Jules (Melbourne)
My heart broke when I read the story in the paper and again just now.
(((((((hugs)))))))
Hugs Craig,
That must have been so hard for you.
On of my most important people (my daughter) was very late getting home from school today (Thursday) despite being told to get straight home. I had contacted my son a couple of times to find out if she was home and the last call was at 5:30 just as I was leaving from work. I told my son to text me the minute she got home. My panic levels went up as each km went by and I was about 10 mins from home when a text was sent to my phone to say she had got home ok (it was 5:50 and school finishes at 3:18.) I was unable to reach her on her mobile and I was almost in tears by the time I heard she was ok. I could have throttled her for giving me stress but I hugged her instead. I then told her not to do that again.
Hugs again.
Chelle xxxx
So sorry, Craig.
Hello Craig,
I'm in tears…. Ready this made my heart sink!
It has made me realise that my world might not be ideal at the moment but what the hell do I need to complain & worry about…
Some huge hugs for you…
(Still crying)
Charlotte xxoxx (())
Wonderful tribute. Such a terrible reminder of what is important in life. Thank you for sharing.
Mel
Commiserations Craig. I didn’t know that you were a friend of the Dickson family.
()
Peace to Dusty. Must be the most unbearable thing to lose your family.
It’s Dusty who needs your support now mate…..It’s unthinkable what she must be going through!
((((((hugs))))))
Oh dear, Craig. I’m so sorry.
I gave my little guy extra-tight hugs tonight.
Lots of love and hugs for you too.
EG xxx
Craig… not sure what to say… your sadness is your own… but felt by so many..as there own…. Rob was an amazing man… even from the few things I knew of him. I knew you would be there yesterday… I hope in some ‘realm’ you felt the love and support of those who know you… May we not waste time and energy on crap.. but channel that energy into those we love and honor as wonderful beings in our life… I look forward to uninhibited hugging.. in not too many weeks… ( x )
Lots of hugs to you Craig and when I see you in a few weeks I will give you a real one – I could do with one too!!!
You gave me lots of great advice about how to deal with grief so I know you will get through this hard time. Love Lozz
Deepest sympathies to you, Craig, to Dusty, to all Dicko’s family and to everyone else who has lost loved ones. I can’t even contemplate losing several loved ones in the same incident, and especially ones whose lives had barely begun. Tragically cut short is right.
I choose to believe that we go on to live many lifetimes, learning and evolving more during each one. This provides me with a peace in several ways; obviously not feeling like death is “the end”, but also to realise that it’s who you are and what you’ve learnt that are important in this lifetime, not what you attain or even accomplish. That it’s important to appreciate the here and now. To not let small issues dictate how I feel or react. To stop and smell the roses. And to love those close to me without reserve.
To Dicko, Byron and Gabriel: safe travels and keep all the goodness, warmth and love in your souls for your next adventures.
Cyber hug for you, Craig ( ). If I had longer arms, I’d give you a real one.
Suz
Oh wow. I have tears in my eyes.
{{{{{{{{CRAIG}}}}}}}}
Craig,
I have not ever replied yet – though I have wanted to but (well, i guess that’s why i read your pages huh). Anyway, just sending my condolences and prayers to Dusty and you/others for the loss.
(big hug for you, ripping bloke)
Matt D.
Long Beach, CA USA
((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
Craig
It’s always painful to say goodbye to a special mate and even harder to be there with those left behind..
May you find the strength within you to be there for Dusty as she travels the lonely road without her three boys.
Will remember you all at Mass tomorrow night.
God Bless..
X Annie
Aww Craig,
An enormous hug to you and to Dusty.
I lost my dad when i was 12 and 5 years ago lost my mum to a brain tumour.
When you hear of accidents like this it puts everything into prespective and your problems are not as big as what you thought they were.
I will be giving my kids an extra hug today thats for sure so quickly things can change for us.
take care Craig your family too
Hello Craig,
I feel your pain – I know it hurts – what got me through my best friend departing unexpectedly was knowing and understanding about our soul contracts – and when the grief starts to lift the answers will come, its usually the ultimate sacrifice they make.
Sending much love and healing energy to you Craig, to Dusty and everyone else that was blessed to have had them in their lives.
Sharon Canberra
Hello Craig,
I feel your pain – I know it hurts – what got me through my best friend departing unexpectedly was knowing and understanding about our soul contracts – and when the grief starts to lift the answers will come, its usually the ultimate sacrifice they make.
Sending much love and healing energy to you Craig, to Dusty and everyone else that was blessed to have had them in their lives.
Sharon Canberra
((((Craig))))
((((Dusty))))
Deepest sympathies to you and Dicko’s family, especially Dusty.
A very timely reminder to say I love you to those that matter in your life.
J xo
Love ya bud! Sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to Dusty.
Big hugs,
Jo
Mr H I can empathise. I have been to 5 funerals in the last few weeks, at least 2 of them for whole families and there is no good way around it. Especially when children have their lives cut short – it seems such a waste and very meaningless. I don’t think there is anyway to make sense of these things – but just to make the most of who we have in our own lives for the time we have them. Which may not be as long as we think. xx
Hellen (sooty little couch surfer)
So sorry for your loss Craig. Thinking of you.
Nell ( ) xxxx
Hi Craig,
Words, however kind, cannot mend your heartache. But those who care and share your loss would like to wish you comfort and peace of mind.
May you find strength, in the love of family, and in the warm embrace of friends. Big hugs from me your cyber friend.
I’ll be praying for friends to comfort you, faith to uphold you, and loving memories to help you smile again.
((((hugs)))))
Much cyber love to you Craig – and I wish I could give you a real hug, a real huge uninhibiited one…..I know Dicko is still sending his love to you and to his beautiful Dusty. Words really fail me – I am so sorry for your loss, Craig.
I hope you get to that uninhibited hugging of those nearest and dearest to you soon…please take the love and deep appreciation we readers have for you, Craig and tuck it into your heart. We may be in cyber space but we hope you can feel our comforting arms…
We’re thinking of you,
Mon (((( ))))
Craig, words seem inadequate. I get what you say about ‘I have no problems’…context.
Death is difficult and painful, take care of you and those around you.
Hi Everyone.
Wow.
I’m overwhelmed with the love, support and care. Thankyou so much.
I genuinely appreciate you all taking the time and energy to simply and selflessly care.
While I’ll miss Dicko every day, the person who really needs your thoughts, prayers and positive energy is his gorgeous wife Dusty.
Please keep her close to your heart. Love and thanks to you all.
Peace x
No words…just sending huge hugs for you and of course Dusty for your loss. So terribly sad.
( )
Jacqui
Hi Craig,
feeling your loss from my heart. I lost my mother years ago and still fill the loss in my heart. I’ve struggled in my life and wished she was there behind me to give me the support I feel and need. Any loss leaves us with pain but thank god also with good memories. And as for Dusty having loving and supportive family and friends around her will give her the support and strength to heal and go on.
hugs, prayers and positive energy to both you and Dusty (((())))
peace x
Dear Craig, Out of the blue this morning your shared sadness really touched me deeply and I can only think, what a tragedy! How terrible for Dusty and how very sad for you Craig. No cliches, magic salve or words can ease the ongoing pain of loss – so many memories and feelings.
Love you Craig (())
Prayers to Dusty. How she will get through this I don’t know. We all need to remember to let those we love most know what they mean to us.
Hugs
xxx
So sorry to read about your friend sweetpea. That is very very very sad for you, all his friends and espcially his wife and close family. Looking forward to receiving my uninhibited hug soon. lots of love. xxxxxx Joanna Hazel
Craigo,
Life is so short! Lets hope that from this tragedy, that we may all appreciate how precious we are to each other.My love goes out to you during this time of enormous sorry. May Dicko’s gorgeous wife Dusty, know that we are praying and thinking of her during such unbearable grief.
Thanks for your honest and heartfeld post today.
Love Annie x x
love hugs thoughts and deepest sympaythy to Dusty, family and friends of the family and you Craig. If only we could all be so open and honest with our emotions.. More hugs to you all.
JJ
Sorry for your loss Craig. There seems to be so much sadness around at the moment, I can only hope we use the clarity that it brings.
Joanne.
Wow. Thanks for the shot of perspective Craig. I really needed that. As a new dad I am just starting to have a better understanding of what this really means (although it is probably only 1% of what it actually means). Kind of tearing up myself right now.
Appreciate you sharing this story.
Jamie
As a proud father of 2, this story is really sad to read.
Sending thoughts to you and Dusty.
Strenght and courage,
Jc
Craig – big, huge, ginormous cyber hugs for you! Hope you are coping okay…
Also wanted to say “thank you!” for being one of the only people who use their blogs and their tools of communication for use to truly provide inspiration and insight for other people rather than as a means of talking about yourself.
So few people understand the true meaning of communication – using other people simply as sounding boards. You touched on it when you spoke about the woman in the supermarket… I would love a post about the fact that there is SO much in this world to discuss and debate – it doesn’t have to be people talking about themselves ALL the time! What happened to wonderful conversations about literature, art, politics, history, philosophy? Oh thats right, people can’t discuss that any more because they don’t take the time to learn about them – instead they spend mindless hours on Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter talking about… themselves. Oh dear… perhaps I was born a few generations too late??
Thanks Craig for being one of the very few insightful and intellectually aware people I have met (although it was a long time ago now since I did the PT course with you!!
Emma
Bloody South AFrican roads!!
Ask me and any SA-can again “so why did you immigrate?” and I’ll say “read this sad sad story”
Dusty, my heart bleeds for you, Craig sending you a big big hug!
Gosh I’m so sad now.
I’m sorry for your loss!