As you may or may not know, Thursday at me-dot-com is the day where I pull on my Ugg boots and kaftan, eat lemon cheesecake and watch Oprah from the comfort of my velour Beanbag while you are given the opportunity to step away from your desk and to come up to the front of our cyber-class and share from your own experiences; to teach the rest of us something you’ve learned on your journey. And as daunting as this may be to some of you, I’ll remind you that (1) helping others, helps you (2) you are worth listening to and (3) if it’s an opportunity for you to get uncomfortable, it’s also an opportunity for you to learn and grow. And let’s be honest, we all get a little tired of the Fat Ninja from time to time, 
so it’s always good to hear a new voice and to learn from the experience, wisdom and insight of others.
An Exchange of Knowledge, Ideas and Beliefs
One of my goals in the on-going development of this site is to make it a resource where anyone who wants to be a part of our community can have the opportunity to be heard and the opportunity to impact positively on the lives of others – while simultaneously taking their own personal growth journey. The fact that we don’t all assemble in a physical building to learn, grow, exchange ideas and share doesn’t make the experience any less real or valuable, just different and a little more convenient. In fact, sometimes it’s easier to be honest, open and attentive in a forum such as this because we don’t have anyone looking at us and we can enjoy as much anonymity as we like. To our recent influx of new readers and commentors, I want to say welcome to class and thanks for your input. If you’re here to learn, then you’re just like the rest of us; a student. We don’t want anything from you other than your friendship. Feel free to be part of our class for as long as you choose.
Topic De Jour – Staying Focused
Okay, your turn… As I’ve said many times before, the majority of us are much better at the “starting” bit, than we are at the “getting the job done” bit; no major revelation there. I’ve also spoken in recent times about knowing what to do but not doing what we know. Staying focused, committed, proactive and productive over the long haul is a challenge for all of us and I am yet to meet the person who has never struggled in this area of their personal growth journey. It’s a universal and common challenge. So today’s key question for you is:
“How do you stay focused and ensure that you keep doing what you need to?”
Some other relevant questions might be… What changed along the way? What made the difference? What happens when the motivation isn’t there? Share what ever you feel may be helpful to others and keep it under a squillion words. And yes, I will send some cool stuff to the commentors who push my buttons.
Ciao x
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{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
When the sign posts on the journey come up and help me to continue.
EG: I write a lot of papers and when publishers accept them I continue writing even with the knowledge billions won’t read them, because it’s my passion. I don’t rely on the yes or no or those that have the power to continue motivation, but I have an online archive and when I give up with writing I go in there see how many have downloaded my stuff and go back to the new articles.
I have had some health and fitness goals for about 18 months, some which I have achieved (a loss of 15kg), and others I am still working towards (budge the last 5kg & manage PCOS…ultimately drugfree).
Motivation for the most part has been high – I love to exercise and I love to push myself hard in the gym…but on occasion it has dropped off, and during those times it’s hard to get going, so I try to consider the alternatives and ask myself some questions like ‘Alright Kirst, do you really want to go back to the start and have to do all that hard work all over again?’…..and….’Sure, you can eat those extra slices of toast smothered with peanut butter, but how can you reach your true potential if you keep giving in to cravings all the time?’.
Visualising has helped too, imagining myself where I used to be (overweight, moody, depressed, out of control with food) works better for me as motivation rather than imagining where I want to be, as I never want to be that way again.
Getting help from an outside source (coach, friend, personal trainer etc.) is also great for focus, motivation and accountability. Right now, I have myself an online coach who is helping me work through a range of things to help me get to where I’d like to be.
Inspiration from others helps keep me focussed – things like reading health & fitness and personal development related blogs (like this fabulous site….has helped me soooo much) and success stories. The amount of knowledge that can be gained from REAL people is amazing.
Enjoying the sometimes rough and insanely frustrating, but thoroughly amazing journey
Kirst
I stay focused contemplating this at sun-up….
“Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me.” Look what happens with a love like that. It lights up the whole sky.”
— Hafiz
At sun down I meditate on this…..
“You suppose you are the trouble
But you are the cure
You suppose that you are the lock on the door
But you are the key that opens it
It’s too bad that you want to be someone else
You don’t see your own face, your own beauty
Yet, no face is more beautiful than yours.”
- Rumi
In my 20′s and early 30′s I was motivated by the actual effect of the action-A promotion, bragging rights for running a marathon, travelling around the world for a year. I was rewardeded with an inner emotional proudness in what I was doing combined with an outer proudness as well.. ‘look at me.’
In the last five years, I have been motivated more by my heart, soul and fulfillment of life. I was motivated by the pain of not being happy wanting to find my own inner peace. What kept me going? The constant reminder of unhappiness with the memory that I use to be happy. Somehow, there just wasn’t another choice, everyday I would do something – read a little, write a little, talk to people, search on the net, try to create something. My heart was my guide. I had to let go of ‘end’ expectations because my heart kept telling me…you have done good work but there is more – I learned that I would know when I arrived rather than expecting to arrive(in fact we never arrive). Today I am motivated by life again, but I also have a great deal of compassion to not judge other people’s reactions or pain because I see their faults similar to mine (com(with) + passion(pain) = graciousness).
To sum up: Act on your pain or resistances(these are the real life shapers), let your pain remind you to work everyday a little or a lot, drop expectations of when ‘IT’ will be completed – learn to be okay with working rather than outcomes, find patience and generosity for other people’s shortcomings by realizing they are not too different from your own. Pain is your compass, working is your ethic, and compassion and sharing with people is your reward.
My husband and i just finished a 13 week financial class that really made a big difference in our lifes. What kept us focused is that when we have our finances in order we will be able to help those less fortunate than us. I am a true believer that the happiest people are those who give to the people or families that need help especially in these hard economic times. Money or material things aren’t always what is needed, sometimes it’s just your time that is needed to volunteer for a worthly cause.
The key for me to stay focussed and motivated is continually reminding myself what I am trying to achieve, why I want to achieve it and what steps I need to take to achieve it. If I’m going through a tough patch I’ll simply go over those three things and find myself instantly remotivated..
Visualising achieving the goal on a daily basis also helps me to remain focussed.
The only negative to deal with is if I start to believe what I am doing isn’t working. I’ll still have the desire to achieve but because I dont feel like I’m getting anywhere I find myself starting to drift. Best way out of this it to reassess what I need to do. Change the plan into one I believe will work and then apply myself to it.
The biggest thing that has helped me stay focused is the mental shift I experienced after reading Fatitude. My thinking has really changed over the last year – becoming more like a thin person – and so eating healthy, losing weight, exercising, etc. is no longer as difficult as it once was. To keep my mind thin, I try to renew my thoughts every day with positive sayings, books, people and experiences – including reading Craig’s posts.
As part of my changing thinking, I have realized what Craig has continued to tell us – I don’t have to always feel motivated to eat healthy, exercise or do other things I want to do – I just have to do them! I know that I do the things I really want to – so I have had to ask myself do I really want to be thin, really want to be healthy? Because if I am failing to do the things I need to do in order to achieve those goals, I have to realize that maybe they are not as important to me as I thought they were. (I still make time to watch television, go out for dinner, go get a coffee or other things which are often just a waste of time!) Realizing that I was fooling myself was painful but also empowering. Becasue when I began to be more honest with myself, that is when I was finally able to move forward and start achieving my goals.
The limitations of my thoughts has been a huge hurdle for me to overcome. Eating healthily isn’t really that difficult. But sometimes it seems like it is. Exercising an hour day is something I can do too, and again, not difficult if I REALLY want to do it.
Motivation is nice, but it is ultimately not necessary. Changing is a choice. One that I intend to keep choosing every day……….
- Steve in CA
Hi all.
This really brings to mind one of Christine Kane’s posts on self-discipline. Really that word can be taken two ways, and one of them’s not so good. You know- that mean voice and criticizer inside is one kind of “self-discipline”. I’ve taken three of Christine’s suggestions to heart- to create the good kind of self-discipline: systemize, take small steps, and be happy.
One thing Christine recommends is to create a system and make it a habit- for example, since last September, my system is to do the RPM procedure for meditation, so I almost always do it without fail. Complicated? No. This is Davidji’s (from the Chopra Center) rise-pee-meditate system. Pretty much non-failing and good for a half hour everyday. I’m still working on the system thing- I’m a work in progress. Now I need to make a system for cleaning the house
…
Take small steps (or turtle steps as Martha Beck calls them). Christine argues that we often think of eating the elephant in one bite as a way to end up doing nothing. Yah, because of fear probably, and discomfort, and laziness… (There’s one guy who has a blog called the Discomfort Zone. I thought that was really great…everyone talks about the Comfort Zone, but what they really should be doing is promoting the “discomfort zone”, and telling us how uneasiness is GOOD and describing it in detail, and telling us to expect it and how to work through it.) What I’ve started doing with my turtle steps is de-cluttering. I have too much stuff (family junk inherited, stuff I’ve collected and dragged to new apartments) and thinking of dealing with it all is overwhelming. Last week, I took the first step, and each day I worked on the family room. It is now almost completely decluttered.
Finally, the ol’ weight issue. It’s amazing how many huge corporations and companies are just bathing in the money they get from promoting the hate-myself/eat junk/diet product/look perfection sad life. I started out as an emotional eater early- females in my family “swallowed” their emotions. Two years ago, I was 5’5″ (yah- what are centimeters anyway?) and about 136 lbs (with muscle). Not over any weight recommendations, but surely 10 more than I wanted. A miserable breakup had me losing 16 pounds in two weeks from hardly being able to eat yet keeping up my exercise. A very very bad way to lose weight- and although my shape was good, I didn’t want to have that weight loss attached to that nastiness. So I gained back eleven of those pounds on purpose last summer. But as of this morning, I’m now 126- eight pounds in three weeks. For the last three weeks, I’ve done Martha Beck’s SOFAR system (you can find it on Oprah’s site- it’s from last months Oprah Mag- search on “The Easier Way to Diet”). Her system is based on her book “The Four Day Win” (Craig- you’d love this book if you haven’t read it). I like the info in the book, but I find the system in her book a little convoluted. Anyway, getting too wordy here- in a nutshell, SOFAR is a mental way to get your body to balance itself:
Stop (stop yourself when you start to beat yourself up or get anxious about your body) +
Open (physically open and relax- soften your eyes, stretch your body, open your mouth and yawn) +
Forgive (start to list ways you have been a really great person and also ways your body has served you- like by being able to give hugs) +
Accept (stop resisting what is and reality, you are already here, accept it and realize you’re already living with it) +
Renew (renew your commitment to your healthy life program from the place you’ve reached with S-O-F-A-).
One of the biggest things Martha emphasizes in her weight loss writing is that being happy counteracts a lot of the drive to eat beyond what our bodies need…I realized this year that I’ve been so focused on “self-disciplining” myself (in a critical coach way) that I didn’t give my happiness enough focus. What do I want to do? Shouldn’t I reward myself with some of that every day, instead of constantly working and driving towards things? When do I get to be happy? I’m deciding that it’s going to be often, every day. Right now.
Staying on track is sometimes extremely difficult for me.
Visualisation is defiantly helps, and it is something that I am focusing on at the moment. Being able to visualise your desired outcome, or getting stuck into the task at-hand.
But what I feel really helps for me is to put all your negative thoughts aside for not doing something, and just slowly start doing what you need to do. I find a lot of times that one you get into motion you are able pick up the momentum in whatever you are doing so that your productivity rate increases. It also stops me from procrastinating about doing something and getting it done.
I have also been on a similar trip to Kirst. Its been 18 months and lost 18 kgs, but still have a whopping 10 kgs to go.
There are times when I have lost sight of where I am going, but found the best way to get back there is reading as much as I can about health and fitness. There are some excellent books out there. Currently I am reading ‘Get off Your A*se and Lose Weight’. Its all about building my self discipline, something that lets most of us down.
This site is the best! Craig, thankyou for being so blunt in some of the blogs. I have kept them and when my focus seems lost, I re-read more of your blunter blogs over and over again. I so need them. (I have them as notes on my iPhone)
I have also found motivational cd’s either before I go to sleep or in the car have helped too.
Basically I just cram myself with resources to ensure I get the motivation back. It seems to work everytime. Now for keeping it more than a few weeks!
Thanks again Craig for this blog. It has been my lifesaver!!!
Mary
Staying focus is something i still struggle with today. However when i am focused i get things done. I have a goal and nothing is going to get it in the way.
Ill give you a recent example. I am hopeless at housework. Dont like it and tend not to get it done. This frustrates both me and my partner.
However recently i wanted to do something for my partner. To show him i am capable of doing it and doing a good job. ANd probably to show myself aswell.
I had no kids one Tuesday morning and i just started. I put off the things i wanted to do like facebook and watching tv and stuff. And i just stayed on track. There were times where i started to waiver and want to just sit down but i just kept tellin myself it wont take too much longer. I managed to get sooo much done that morning.
Just kept talking to myself and telling myself i can do this.
Reminding myself of the end goal really helped. The fact that it was a short term goal and not a long term goal really helped aswell.
Ok i think i just helped myself. I need to stick to short term goals.
I find them easier to manage. I find that if i look at the long term goal i get overwhelmed and think it is too much effort.
I also find it good to break even the short term goals down to reach the end result. For instance with my cleaning example i also kept telling myself i just do this bit. And then i just do that bit. and before i knew it i had done it all.
Hope this helps someone as it has already help myself to realise sometime.
Amanda
One of my biggest lessons on my journey in the last 12 months or so is to give up the need to understand everything. (I used to end up in a total state of confusion)
When you put a lot of effort into something and it feel so right and then life throws you a curve ball try and stay positive and hang on to the thread “something good will come of this” (Not always easy I know)(Give up trying to understand it all, it doesn’t make sense some times and that’s OK)
When i get caught in that confusion it takes my focus off the important stuff, when i accept I don’t understand I can then just keep focused on the important stuff.
Cheers
I stay focused by knowing,
Knowing that every moment is not a waste.
Unless I think about it too much!
Hi All,
The way I stay focused it to set the path, add resistance and detach. By doing this I find that I can block most out as distraction and just do knowing that it wil pass and come.
An important aspect of this is the contniual motivation so I supose the goal needs to be yours in the beginning. It funny once you decide the universe has an amazing ability to come to your aid.
Key to achieving is getting a strong, loyal team and knowing your enemies… whether they be within or external.
Focus to me is an unrelenting will to achieve something even when all odds are against you.. in practice for anything i have achieved (even through small) I wake up picture the current hell, then picture the outcome and try my best to do what needs to be done…
Cheers
kate
I’m in the first few months of being a small-business owner, and what an awful lot of self-focus and self-motivation that takes! In the past, when I’ve worked for other people, I’ve been able to have a non-productive day here and there. In fact, I only worked hard when the mood struck me! But now, I have to work hard every single day, or else the mortgage doesn’t get paid and I don’t get to eat!
So when I’m struggling for motivation to keep my business going, to enhance the website, to write a newsletter, to get up and train clients at 6am, my mind shoots back briefly to the times when I had to be up at 6am to fit in some exercise for myself. Then I’d put on a suit, drive into the city and spend 10 hours selling something I didn’t believe in, to people I didn’t like. Then I’d come home, lie on the couch, and feel like I’d been battered and bruised by the rat race. I was living a life that was so far from what I believed in, and I spent every day knowing that I could do more, was worth more, and NEEDED more from life.
Now I’m trying to live up to that potential with my little business, and the thing that keeps me focused is not only what I want to achieve in the long-term (freedom, success, an Audi TT), but the gripping FEAR of ever having to put on a suit and stilettos again and “pretend” to be something that I’m not.
I know I am exactly where I’m meant to be right now, and that’s what keeps me going
Hi guys and girls,
I find that even the smallest action promotes momentum. Once you have momentum the goal becomes achievable. Only when we are static do we feel helpless.
Once you have momentum it is harder to stop than it is to continue.
Harv, you have hit the nail on the head. I was sitting here; thinking about how to put into words what motivates me and keeps me focussed in a way to help others. And you summed up in a very few words, what I think the answer is.
When I was younger I found it very hard to set goals, stay focussed and motivated and it is only in the last year or so that I have really been able to put all this into practice. I had all the knowledge, all the teachings, read all the books, but ‘knowing’ is not doing. It was all in my head, but not reflected in my reality.
It was around this time last year that I was introduced to Craig’s site and what I read motivated me beyond anything I had read before. It motivated me to get off my bum, get into the gym, lose weight (10kgs), and get healthy, fit and toned. I have made a commitment to myself and that has become non-negotiable regardless of what crops up to get in the way of my going to the gym. I am nearly 60, feeling 40 and my husband told me yesterday that I had the body of a 45 year old. High praise indeed because if I had listened to him earlier on when he kept on saying that I shouldn’t push my body so hard, that I wasn’t a ‘spring chicken’ any more, then I wouldn’t be where I am now.
As Harv said, “once you have the momentum it is harder to stop than it is to continue” – and I ain’t stopping now!
I’ve been reading your fabulous posts for a while now but have never posted a comment….so here goes.
Late December last year I decided that 2009 was going to be the year that I got my weight under control. I didn’t want to be turning 30 and still be the obese and unhealthy me that I’ve always been. So I joined Weight Watchers and the gym and off I went. Since I made the commitment to myself I’ve ditched all my old excuses as to why I couldn’t exercise….it’s too cold, I’m not a morning person, I don’t want to go to the gym and have people looking at me etc etc. I started off slow and now I love the gym and my group fitness classes, so much so that I get grumpy if I have to miss a class.
I’ve lost 24.5kg in 29 weeks and seeing my body change shape and get stronger and fitter has been great motivation. The comments I’ve been getting from people I haven’t seen since I started on my journey have been another huge motivating factor for me, their encouragement and positive words have given me even more incentive to keep going. Why would I ever want to go back to the old unhappy me when I feel a thousand times better now than I ever have – this is my main motivation when I really feel like taking it easy in a class or when I really want that yummy piece of cake/gooey cheese and bread.
I’m the only person that can get me to where I want to be. Sure I need the expertise and support of those around me but ultimately it’s all down to me, nobody can do the hard yards for me.
Another thing I’ve come to realise during the year and having read Craig’s posts is that I am truly unhappy in my current job. Sure the pay is fantastic but it’s not enough of a reason to stay in a job that makes me miserable. So now I’m trying to figure out what it is that I actually want to do and what will make me happy and what I need to do to get there. Deciding what this should be isn’t as easy as I’d hoped…..but I’ll get there.
Thanks for all the postings Craig. I love how each and every one seems to relate to me in some way. They certainly get me thinking.
make whatever needs doing non negotiable and a habit. With my running I organised my day around the run – not the other way around. it was a must do just like brushing my teeth. gotta do it. the other thing was to switch off while i was doing it and use it as thinking time. the human brain can block out an amazing amount of pain and discomfort if you focus on something else. and learning to enjoy the pain helped too – i know sounds masocistic – but the endorphins afterwards are worth it. going to go before i totally weird you all out
Hi there fellow class mates,
I hope our teacher is enjoying spending his day off in his kaftan and ugg boots (great visual) and enjoying that lemon cheesecake! Sounds tempting!
Anyhoo…. I read this quote the other day and it abated for me, that feeling of frustration that threatens to arise when lack of time and ‘those things out of your control’ seem all too frequent. It said
“God’s delays are not God’s denials”.
Simple, but it picked me up a bit and got my focus back on track instantly. I realised that feeling frustrated was a waste of energy and was not part of a ‘winning attitude’ So that’s my little tip – setting goals is one thing, but finding ways to transform your negative thoughts when things are not ‘going to plan’ really helps me regain focus. Reading (yes, mainly and often Craig’s posts) plus also other postive quotes and sayings can be very uplifting for me and gives me direction, when I need it.
So now….back to my own velour beanbag (I wish)….
Enjoy your day all,
Mon
Here is my wisdom – very simple but helps heaps. When you hit a hurdle/mistake – accept it, learn from it and move on. For example, just because you had that choccy biscuit does not mean your weightloss efforts are doomed forever. We are all human and to err is human. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back to life!!
I’m a list maker. Last year I read a book called “The Power of Focus”. The author recommends coming up with a list of 100 (!) professional, personal, financial, relationship, etc. goals. Many of mine are health and fitness related. So I’ve got “the big list” and then every month I make a list of 5-7 specific, concrete goals that I’d like to accomplish toward the big list. I post them on my blog and then report in at the end of the month about how I did. It helps me immeasurably in staying on track. Periodically I revise the goals, check things off, revise update, etc.
Here’s what the latest running and weight loss goal accomplishments look like — to give a sense of how I got to 100 goals…
DONE 12/6/09 – Run 8 miles
DONE 12/14/09 – Run a 5K in 37 minutes
DONE 12/19/08 – Run 9 miles
DONE 1/7/09 – Reach 50 pounds lost milestone
DONE 3/23/09 – Reach 25% of me lost milestone
DONE 3/27/09 – Run one 11 minute mile
DONE 4/20/09 – Run 10 miles
DONE 4/25/09 – Run 11 miles
DONE 5/3/09 – Run 12 miles
DONE 5/18/09 – Run a 5K in 36 minutes
DONE 5/24/09 – First half marathon
DONE 7/18/09 – Run one 10:30 mile
DONE 7/23/09 – Run 2 consecutive 11:30 miles
But there are also books I want to read, relationship issues I want to address, places I want to visit (Australia!!), and new skills I want to learn. It’s the roadmap for my life! Without this its too easy to drift aimlessly and without any purpose or sense of accomplishment.
I sometimes ask myself, ”Is the world a better place with me in it?”
I’d like to think so, yes. But do I deserve that answer? So I do my very best to be kind with strangers and available for my friends and family. I listen before I speak, I stay calm when there’s a problem, I don’t tag along with negative people or conversations.
Thats what I do to stay focused. Whenever I feel down, I ask myself that question…. and I must deserve the answer.
Have a great day.
Jc
Qc, Canada
A clarity of being is revealed
when I do quit and release myself
from the stalking focus by ME on me!
Hi,
I like to read inspirational stories like the ones I’ve just read…..and all power to you Belinda !
For me, the best thing I ever did was join a running club a couple of years ago. I am achieving things I now could literally not even have imagined doing before i joined! We have people at the club from age 7 to 70 and I learn something from all of them. Its the comrdaree, the friendship and the competition among us that keeps us focused and motivated. Its fantastic to achieve personal goals and even better to share them with others. But its not just about the end result, its also the sweat, the injuries and pain we share and learn from that keeps us coming back for more.
Cheers,
Dom
I find journalling helps.
When my goals seem further away than usual, I spend the half an hour before bed journalling about the day on my laptop. At first whenever I lost focus I would journal about only the things that went wrong that day but slowly realised I was forgetting the other side of the coin. Now I add what went right that day too. I don’t feel anywhere near as bummed about it, and the lift helps me get back on track.
I figure if they had to make heaps of adjustments on the first trip to the moon, as opposed to going directly there, then it’s okay for me to ‘tweak’ my progress too!
Motivation!!! Ahh how ncie a word. I get motivated all the time. But alas it wears off as fast as it came. Then i jump up and get motivated to do something else. Its a vicious cycle. But i learned and never stopped startign again. If u know what i mean.
Even if i gave up at times.. i always had the nagiing thought( which i guess stalks all of us) .
From all the attempts, I learnt 1 thing, its not motivation that keep me going but discipline and my dedication. Perseverance. It paid off. Now even if I miss on my plan (can be anything) one day. I dont get demoralized , i just get up and do it the next day.
Slowly it gets merged with my routine and I can stick to my plan better.
Somethings which help me stay (and not cheat) is:
- i tell my husband or my friend about it. who can keep a check.
- i read a lot about the topic. I serach it a lot. It keeps my mind on it.
- If it is something that can be done at the same time everyday. I keep it that way. It helps.
- I show myself a carrot. I love shopping so if i have fallen for something I say “if i do this for continuos 20 days /15 days i will go and buy it”. And my partner will be in the loop. Sometimes i just do it for the thing. but 20 days later i dont give up.
- For the initial fwe days i keep a reminder on my phone, my mailbox, gmail, notifications. It is annoying but during each reminder when i realize that yes i did stick to my plan for the day, it gives me a high.
Its a bit i have picked up over my innumerable attepmts. And Craig its advice that i have picked up and consolidated by reading all your insights.
..Luv Raji
Hi everyone, I’m afraid I havent got much to share today but have enjoyed reading all of your messages and have hopefully picked up some good ideas. To Belinda – wow! you go girl!!!!!
I keep myself focused by telling myself that this is the time to achieve something , to do something. When today becomes a past there would be no way to achieve anything other than ruminate and procrastinate , generate negative energy (or perhaps tear you hair out) for not doing anything when there was still a chance.
I truly believe that giving your 100% is the surest way to avoid the scenario where you cannot forgive yourself for not committing yourself totally to the task at hand.
Cheers!
Hello Team. Today I am the student and I’m enjoying your wisdom and teaching. Great work. Although getting out of my velour beanbag took some doing. BTW, lemon cheesecake is healthy right? After all, lemon is a fruit.
xx
I have found that I have three choices with what ever i do
1 i can confront it
2 i can surrender to it
3 or i can be vulnerable
If I keep it simple and try and stay in the now being aware of my needs and speak my truth. That is what keeps my on track. I also have found that I have to look at my behaviour and why I react the way I do. Always take it back to me. For me to move on I have to go into my past and deal with it good or bad before I can move forward .
To Patrol4Me : How do you do that , i.e. I mean give up trying to understand everything ? I have tried that a million times and failed miserably . I just keep questioning till I hit an answer. It has not helped that I have a very inquisitive nature
I must say that it is one of the most difficult things in life to achieve ; my congratulations to you !
Cheers !
It’s forums like these that keep me motived a fair bit. I’m surprised nearly every time I read something here as it seems to mirror my life.
*~*How do you stay focused and ensure that you keep doing what you need to?*~*
I keep looking for answers. It’s pretty much that simple. Usually I look inside me for an answer but I get a lot of oomph from reading what others are doing.
*~*What changed along the way? What made the difference? What happens when the motivation isn’t there?*~*
I get older and wiser as the years go on.
I’ve just bought an ID bracet with the following etched into it – WWTGS?
It means – What Would The Grots Say? – the Grots are my grandchildren and I want to succeed in everything I do to become their teacher.
Thanks everyone for your input into my life. Thanks mainly to you, Craig.
Staying motivated is something I have always struggled with. from the age of about 16 till 22 I suffered severe depression so I didnt even have the motivation to get out of bed!!! But after years of living that way I just got so sick of it that I had to make a choice whether to change or give up forever. Funny enough i have always had this image inside that brain of mine of the person I wanted to be, I just was unable at the time to achieve that – so now thats what I concentrate on every day. I learnt a valuable tool along the way called ACT- acceptance of the past and commitment to change and it literally has changed my life. from someone who attempted to take their own life 7 ys ago to someone who now is a very happy and loving SINGLE mumma, am passionate about my work in oncology, love my personal training just joined the gym today and cant wait to start working toward some fitness goals life is great!! The thing is motivation is not always there you just need to stay true to yourself and keep going every day it always gets better. Ive been through some shocking things in the last 12mnths but Im not going to let that stop me achieving what I want in my life because this is MY life and it is the ONLY life i get- no second chances!!!
Hi!
I am 24 years old and am in my final year of my PhD. Keeping focused in definitely something that I need to do on a daily basis. Some of the things that have helped me stay focused for the last 2.5 years of this PhD journey include
1. Accountability: You need to have people around you who know your dreams, your lifes journey and your potential. Having support from people who will check up on how you are doing and whether the goals you have set are being reached is just so so important and valuable. These people are not there just to support you and be your cheer squad but are there to kick you up the backside (nicely and gently) when focus is being lost and to spurr you on towards the finish line. Run your race with endurance and be accountable to your progress – be honest!
2. Vision: The Good Book says without a vision the people perish and I think that having a vision for the future is so key to staying focused in life. I picture myself lecturing and making a difference in peoples lives especially in the lives of teachers and students as my PhD is in education. This vision keeps me so focused to write this thesis and get my work out there. Always keep your vision at the forefront of all you do – it will spurr you on when the journey gets tough
3. Balance: To stay focused requires balance in ones life. With the writing of my PhD I cannot write for 24/7 because I would get burnt out and would lack passion very quickly. I must have days off to rest and have fun so my brain can function well – you need to have fun, work hard, and look after yourself.
4. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP…. if you do this, you will stay focused and get the job done!
Thats about all from me. In summary 4 things are required to stay focused
1. Accountability
2. Vision
3. Balance
4. NEVER give up!
Cheers!
Hey Craig !
Hi class. Well, my lesson today will be a very short one and I’m afraid nowhere near as profound as all those I have just read. Congrats to everyone on your achievements and your methods of staying focussed !
When everyone around me is hogging into all those yummy, unhealthy, fattening treats, and I’m just drooling for a vanilla/caramel slice, I visualise it as an extra glob of fat on my hips, and hey presto… I’m back on focus !
Staying focussed on housework… hmmm… still working on that one !
{{HUG}}
Tina
Just got this link in my email… hope it’s OK to post it here Craig… ?!!
A good video worth watching
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tjYoKCBYag
{{HUG}}
Tina
I am still trying to get to the point where I will stay focused. I am still learning form this wonderful class room. I have made some decisions about my life, all I need to do now is ACT.
Great video Tina
Hi Craig – I’ve been exercising consistently (minimum of 4 times/week, usually 6) for about 15 years. The eating took about ten of those years to work out, but I got there! How do I stay focused? If I wake up and I really, really, really can’t face whatever workout I have planned that day, it could be a sign of overtraining…sometimes it is hard to tell when you are, say, coming down with a cold, and when you just need your butt kicked! Those days I either a) choose to do a class at the gym – having instruction helps; b) tell myself I will start my workout and if I still fell rough, can go home after 20 mins cardio or one-set-of-everything instead of multiple sets (usually I feel pretty fired up once I have started) or c) I go for a long, gentle, kind-to-myself, soothing walk (and have a stretch).
The eating beast is a bit harder to control…it works for me to have a day planned – fri or sat usually – where I can have that ‘treat’; then when I want it on another day, I reassure myself I can have it – can have ten if I want – on Saturday. Usually by sat, if I want it at all, I don’t fancy ten.
I’m usually a lurker but I’ve been a fan since I did a course with you I’m 2002! Love the communal helping each other thing.
Krista.