As you may or may not know, a few weeks ago we (the bald man and I) had an informal get-together with some craigharper-dot-commers for a lazy breakfast and chat right here in the thriving metropolis of Melbourne.
(Low-fat, low-sugar, low-salt, low taste, low enjoyment, low fun…. of course.).
Not.
And while I met a bunch of great people who were all on their own amazing journey of change and personal growth, one person had a big impact on me.
We were all sitting down destroying our breakfasts, when a young good looking bloke appeared in the doorway of the cafe and looked in our direction. He stood there for a moment trying to figure out if the loud, disorderly rabble in the corner (us) was who he was looking for.
I made eye contact, he recognised me from the site and he made his way over and sat down next to me. Now, at the risk of getting myself in trouble here… I gotta say, on first impression (physical only) he wasn’t exactly who I would have (typically) expected to turn up at our breakfast; early thirties, built like superman, good looking… coulda been a male model.
Looked like he shoulda been out surfing.
Or shooting an advertisement for four-wheel drives.
Or starring in a wild-life special for National Geographic.
So anyway, Mr. buffed and annoyingly-good-looking (no issues here) came and sat next to me. I soon discovered that on top of being annoying-good-looking, he was also annoyingly-nice.
Bugger.
Now I had to like him.
In the first two minutes of our conversation, I learned that Darrell had driven from New South Wales border (for our international readers, that’s about a five hour drive) just to be at the breakfast; that’s commitment. He also told me that he just wanted a brief opportunity to chat with me.
He said to me, “I knew that if I could get even five minutes of your time, the (ten-hour return) trip would be worthwhile” (okay, now I wanted to hug him).
Even though he was smiling and friendly, I sensed that there was an underlying sadness.
I discovered that he had (very) recently experienced tragedy, was still grieving and trying to figure it all out. I also learned that he had found some sense of hope, optimism and comfort through our humble little website.
As you probably know, this week we are running a writing forum on craigharper.com so that our readers (you) can become the teacher, writer, messenger for the week and share your experiences and thoughts (see the orange lessons from readers menu option in the right sidebar).
Well Darrell has written a piece for our forum and today I wanted to let him share his story with you:
What’s winning and amazing to you?
I once knew a beautiful girl who had a smile that would light up any room she entered.
She was gorgeous, not only externally but internally as well.
She endeared herself to everyone she met with her wonderful smile, infectious laugh and her loving, caring nature.
She had met the man of her dreams and had created a family (two adorable boys) that she loved and cared for with a passion that all great mothers have. She lived in her perfect world and wanted nothing more than to be with her family and to guide and watch her two boys grow into adulthood. She was the perfect role model who didn’t drink or smoke and enjoyed a very healthy diet as she was an exceptional cook who had a passion for preparing deliciously nutritional meals.
One day this girl was delivered some extraordinarily bad news.
Although she had been well, she felt that her bowel was not functioning properly and when a surgeon went in for a closer look he found a tumor that had perforated her bowel wall and spread to her liver, ovaries and throughout her pelvic floor.
She went from a normal healthy life one day, to dealing with a terminal disease the next.
A disease that threatened to rip apart the perfect family and life she had created and leave her husband and two boys without the wife and mother they adored more than anything. When the surgeon delivered this gut-wrenching news, wiping back tears of anguish after instantly realising her dream of seeing her boys grow up was in serious jeopardy, she proceeded to thank the surgeon for trying.
That was just her.
Not one word of anger or frustration was muttered from her mouth.
Not one to sit back and feel sorry for herself and accept the fate bestowed on her by the medical fraternity, she immediately embarked on a journey of healing, trying to find a solution to the cause of this dreaded disease rather than just treating the symptoms in a regime of chemotherapy as was suggested by the doctors. Her strength, will power and character were tested on many occasions but she stood firm in rejecting any palliative treatment as she knew to survive long term, it would only inhibit her path to true healing.
She enjoyed good health for many months and her journey was going well until she started noticing some discomfort in the rectal area. Some subsequent tests confirmed that there was tumor activity and again the course of treatment suggested was chemotherapy and radiation treatment. She was such a strong-willed person and knowing that this treatment was only palliative, she chose to keep up her search for healing in more holistic therapies.
After a couple of months her condition had deteriorated when she came across a Biological Medicine clinic in Switzerland that offered some form of hope. She was faced with a decision to stay at home and wait to die or to make the trip to Switzerland with the possibility of never returning to see her children again. Although the clinic gave her hope, there were never any promises and she was well aware that things may not turn out as she would like.
Unable to accept that she would not be around to see her children grow up, she stared down her fears and boarded the plane for Switzerland. She showed strength and will power beyond belief and she inspired many with her amazing courage and will to live.
She knew the trip to Switzerland was a risk and everything that possibly could have gone wrong actually did.
Her journey ended in Switzerland with her loving husband by her side.
My message is that winning and creating amazing doesn’t have to be a complex thing.
It doesn’t have to be what is amazing through other peoples eyes, only your own.
It can be very simple things in life that can be your amazing and make you a winner.
I once knew a girl who thought walking her two boys to school was amazing.
She was my wife; she was a winner and she was amazing.
Darrell Spencer.
Darrell’s beautiful wife (Gill) passed away about eight weeks ago and he and his two boys need all the love and support we can give them. He is an amazing person with an incredible attitude and strength…. but the truth is, he has no choice; he has to cope.
And he will.
Even through this tragedy he will learn and grow and take these painful lessons to help others and to raise his boys to be the men he and his wife dreamed they would be.
Darrell, you are an incredible, brave and inspirational person, it is a pleasure to have met you and from all of us at craigharper.com we send you all our love, support and prayers and we commit to helping you in any way we can.
Next time I feel like complaining about my ‘tough life’, I’ll remember you and your boys.
Love you Buddy ( )
Darrell needs lots of love and support… even from strangers.
Why don’t you send him some?
Click on the comments link… and give him a cyberhug at the very least.
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{ 123 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey Dash! It’s the Griffin’s!
You are reall strong.
See you soon.
Xxx
I’m sitting in a sleepy, country village in England. I realise I ahve amazing. I’m healthy, I have a loving husband and the two most amazing little boys. I shouted at tjem a lot this week. That just won’t do. I don’t pray, but I will hold Darrell and his fanily in my thoughts. What he has been through is unimaginable. May he continue his journey with even more strength and courage.
Sarah, from England
I’m so sorry Darrell – for you and your boys. I’m sorry for your wife Gill too, and the life that she does not get to experience.
You are so strong to reach out for help and support and that just shows what a great father you must be. I hope you know that your story will really inspire so many to live their lives with joy for the things that we think are insignificant but actually are the most important. The day to day stuff that makes up a lifetime. You’ve certainly reminded me to find the joy in everything I do with my little boy. I thank you for that.
Nerida
Darrell,
My heart breaks for you and your boys. I don’t know what to say! All I can do is send my love and positive thoughts to all of you and hope that in some way, this may help.
Kathleen
Melbourne
Thank you Griffin’s (family friends)
I have been blessed to have an enourmous amount of love & support from family & friends which has helped me cope through difficult times.
()
Hi Sarah
Thank you for your thoughts!
Sometimes (not always) we can be out there searching for something amazing when it is actually right there in front of us. I am glad that you realise the amazing life you have with your husband & boys. I know Gill realised what she had and I think that is one of the things that made her so amazing!
Hi Nerida
You are welcome. Good luck to you and your little boy!
()
Thank you Kathleen
Your love and positive thoughts definately do help!
Hey Dashaaaa ~ glad Craig has confirmed you are as handsome as ever! That is an awesome picture of you, Gill and the boys. Your story is a great tribute to the strengths and good things in Gill. We would really like to see you and the boys ~ when can we get you to Canada? Would this summer work? We love you ~ Darcy is having a little tear right now ~ be strong…what is for you won’t go by you and you will never be dealt anything you can’t handle my friend. We are here. Love you. Chris Darcy Maddie and Mitch xoxoxo
Oh! Okay, it’s mothers day, I’ve just read this touching story and now I’m crying.
Darrell, if Craig holds another get-together, and you get to go again, I hope to too, so I can give you a real hug.
Cyber hugs xxxxxxxxxx
Hi Darrell,
We are friends of Christy and the Big Fella and have heard about you and Gill often.
You seem to have great strength and courage and the determination to grow from this.
“A measure of a man is how well he takes care of his kids” and you have the opportunity to complete what you and Gill have began together in teaching your boys. From what we know about you Darrell, you have the strength to grow from this and it seems you are already doing that. You are an amazing man.
You have the freedom to live life now with your boys. Theres a great quote Mat and I like- today is all I ever have!
Dont be sad its over, be happy you got to do it.
Love to you and your boys
Belinda & Mat
Dash,
I am so sad about Gill and can only imagine what your journey has been like. I deal with cancer every day in my job as a vet and I have felt and see the confusion, grief and loss that people experience when they lose their pets. To lose the women you love, your wife and mother of your children I cannot begin to fathom. I lost my mate Graham last year to a bike-car accident and it still feels surreal. I saw Craig at Christmas when I visited Corowa and I talked to him about your struggle and Gill’s strength and composure. I wish I could do something to help you and ease your pain and I am here for you if there is. If you go to Canada you have to go via California and Disneyland is just down the road from my joint….. (the boys would love it!). Stay strong and gather strength from remembering the great times you and Gill had together over the many years together. Your strength gives other strength.
igh
Hi Dasher,
Hope all is going well for you and the boys through these hard times. I am glad that I can say that I know you and the boys and to have had the oppurtunity to have have met Gill.
To all your new found friends on this site I can say that you will probably not meet a more genuine person, family man and all round great friend (also a very handy footballer). Hope to catch up with you soon mate.
P.S Hopefully one day you will get the chance to see the Dasher dance.
Love always Guy & Nikki Chisnall
Hi Chris, Darcy, Maddie & Mitch (Crazy Canadians)
I think Craig got a bit carried away with the handsome thing (I’m a bit worried about him).
Would dearly love to come visit you guys in Canada. Maybe when things settle down a bit more….or maybe you could just skip over to sunny old Australia.
Hello Miscellaneous-mum
If Craig holds another get together I will definately try to be there. I wouldn’t want to miss out on that hug.
()
Hi Darrell,
We are friends of Christy and Lukey and have heard them talk of you and your beautiful family often. I have just read your amazing story and was beyond belief the amount of strength and courage you have shown. You have two beautiful boys, which I’m sure at the moment are wondering why, and may never understand. You have an enormous job ahead creating many new wonderful memories to go with the already existing ones that you and Gill shared with your gorgeous boys.
Thinking of you.
Nat and Beavn.
C’mon Darrell,
you know you got smashed with the handsome stick… if only I was standing next to you when it happened!
Sigh.
( )
Hi Matt & Belinda
Thanks for your support! I recently heard a quote that went something like “5 minutes of incredible is worth more than a lifetime of mediocrity”. I certainly am very grateful for the incredible time I shared with Gill.
Hi Ian (Edward Scissor Hands)
Disneyland….wow, I had better not show the boys this comment or I will be up for a trip to the states.
Thanks for your support mate!
Hi Guy & Nikki
Ease up on the dance comments! I am already copping enough from the description in Craig’s article.
Anyway, apparently now I am a surfer, or a model, or superman…..
Look forward to catching up soon.
Thanks Nat & Bevan
The boys are coping really well. Kids seem to have an amazing ability to live in the moment. We are lucky where we live we have lots of kids around, so my boys are always occupied playing with their friends. We can learn a lot from how children handle these situations.
Thanks for caring!
()
Hey Darrell,
Thanks mate for being part of our lives and sharing your truly inspirational story. Gill sounds like an amazing person.
As a guy with two sons that are similar in age to yours, I had a cry reading your story.
Keep up the great work in loving and supporting your boys. The’ve got one of the best fathers I’ve ever met.
I’m so glad that Craig and I had the opportunity to meet with you.
Hugs from myself, Anne, my two boys Brodie and Jordan and all of the team here at craigharer.com.
We all love you man!
()()()
Baldman (Johnnie).
Darrell,
Thanks for reminding me how blessed and precious each day is. Your story has inspired me. Love always lasts however changed.
Joh
Darrell, you speak about Gill being courageous and strong willed. But being a ‘carer’ requires resilience, love and hope. Your amazing blog alludes all of this, be proud of the role you played in the life of Gill. Thanks Craig for sharing this, especially on Mothers Day.
Hey Dash, well you know how much we love you guys but thought we would give you a cyberhug as well!! Gill always has and always will be an inspiration to us all – as are you! She is such a precious friend who we think of and miss everyday. We are always here for you and the boys, whenever you need us! Love and friendship always, Christy-Sue, Big Fella, Jett-Star & Huntsman xx
Hi Darrell
I can see why you would ‘want to get 5 minutes with Craig’you are both so similar….gift of the vernacular comes to mind
and humility.
Craig you haven’t exactly been hit by the ugly stick.
Watch out Craig, Darrell is on the cusp of bigger things to come.
Looking forward to hearing more from you and catching up with you and your boys.
Love Always
Keri David Max Gus and Will
Dear Darrell and boys,
Gill’s story touched my heart in a profound way.
Thank you for sharing such personal memories of your beautiful and amazing wife and mother of your boys.
I am so sorry.
Today l haven’t stopped thinking about your family.
All l can do is send my ongoing support, love and prayers your way.
Take care,
Cherie
( ) ( ) ( )…..3 cyber hugs for you all!
Hi Darrel
I can see why you and Craig would hit it off together and you would want to ‘pick his brain for 5 mins’ wink, wink, you both have the gift of the vernacular…and humility.
Craig you were not exactly hit by the ugly stick!
Darrell looking forward to seeing that 4WD commercial.
Watch out Craig he’s on the cusp of a big bright future.
Darrell we look forward to catching up with you and your boys soon.
Lots of love
Keri David Max Gus and Will
Hi Dash,
Our thoughts are with you and the boys. Gill’s story is one of courage and strength, she was an amazing person just like YOU!
You are the most caring man and inspirational dad. Christy and Lukey always speak of you and Gill as being the very best friends they could ever ask for.
Stay strong Dash,
Hugs and kisses to the 3 of you
Love Kell and Squidge xx
Thanks Baldman
Although I really think it should be me thanking you guys for this opportunity. I am wrapped that some good has come from everything that we have been through. Gill would be blown away by the amount of people she has inspired and the amount of support that we have received through your site. I think it is a fantastic Mother’s Day gift to her!
I hope one day I can meet Anne, Brodie & Jordan but until then, Craig can you give the Baldman a big Hug from me…..I know he loves them!
Your welcome Joh.
Thanks jsp,
Being the carer is a difficult task, especially having to watch on when the health of someone you love is deteriorating. My wife truly was an amazing person and she was able to make my role so much easier with her positive attitude and will to live. Although we did have down times she refused to wallow in self pity and would always find something positive to focus on.
Dear Dash,
What an inspirational story, love to you and the boys. Thinking of you.
Sue (Jett and Hunters Nanna)
Thanks Christy-Sue, Big Fella, Jett-Star & Huntsman (What a crew hey)
Your support has been amazing!
Hey Keri,
Gift of the vernacular (I had to look that one up) & humility….I’m sure you wouldn’t feel out of place in that group!
He is a good looking dude that Craig though isn’t he….no wonder the baldman loves hugging him!
Cherie,
Thanks so much for your thoughts and your prayers, we really do appreciate them!
()()()
Thanks Kell & Squidge
Go the Purples!
Hi Sue (Nanna)
Thanks for your support!
DEAR DASH
THE INCREDIBLE COURAGE AND STRENGTH THAT YOU CONTINUALLY DISPLAY SINCE GILLS PASSING COMES AS NO SURPRISE TO ME.IF EVER THERE IS GOING TO BE SOMEONE TO ACHIEVE AND CREATE AMAZING AGAINST SEEMINGLY INSURMOUNTABLE ODDS IT WOULD BE “MY MATE” DASH.THROUGHOUT THIS WHOLE TERRIBLE ORDEAL I FEEL PROUD AND HONOURED TO CALL YOU THAT-”MY MATE”.
TO ALL WHO READ “GILLS STORY”,YES DARRELL IS, I SUPPOSE, A REASONABLY GOOD LOOKING BLOKE BUT REALITY IS, THE BEAUTY,THE CLASS,THE CHARM AND DIGNITY THAT BESTOWED HIS ADORING WIFE GILL MAKES HIM,IN COMPARISON,LOOK LIKE THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME.
I PROMISE TO HONOUR HER MEMORY THE REST OF MY DAYS.
I MISS HER.
PIZ.
Hi Darrell,
What an inspirational story to read especially on Mother’s Day. I don’t think there are words to express how sad I felt at reading your story but also how much it really did make me realise that we don’t know what our future holds so we should make the most of each and every day.
I made sure I gave my kids an extra big hug and told them how much I love them.
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Dear Darrell,
Glad to see so many well wishes going your way.
May you feel the many cyber hugs surrounding you and your precious boys.
Best wishes and hugs to you all
Janine (Melbourne)
Congratulations Craig on providing Darrell with this wonderful forum to share his story. Thank you Darrell for letting us into your life. Our thoughts are with you.
Paul D.
Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia
She IS brave, she IS a winner, She IS amazing. She IS alive in YOU, in your love, in your children, in every single thing she touched with her beauty, in every single person that met her in her life.
Robert Frost wrote that happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. Brief lives are often intense, glowing, full of purpose.
Dear Darrell, you are spreading her love. She is alive now in all of us, once strangers, now close to you in grieving time.
A big, long, tender hug for you and your family.
I text this as i shead a tear, its fantastic that you are you in that you have been through a real tuff time that could of bought you unstuck but not you. That in itself needs to be commended. Great story, our thoughts are definetely with you. Darrel you are a real inspiration.
Muz, Vic n boys
Darrell,
Your story first touched my life when Julie Griffin told me about you and Gill some time ago. As a mum of two young kids myself, with a healthy husband to help get through the busy and tiring weeks, I find myself inspired and humbled by your courage, determination and endless love and admiration for Gill and your boys. I know some will say “well, he’s got no choice, he’s got to do the best he can now”, but somehow that, to me, detracts from the huge effort you must have to make every day just to get up, and get going for another day, being both mum and dad. It’s people such as yourself, with a big heart and lots of love to give, who make this world a better place, and who inspire the rest of us to think before we yell at the kids yet again, or to stop before we hassle our partner about the sopping wet bathroom mat ! I wish you joy and happiness with your boys and your memories of Gill, forever.
Darrell, When Brad said read this, and Shari just did and needed tissues, I knew i was in for a box of tissues. You see i’ve already had a cry this morning about how unfortunate i think my life is with a sick husband, but you are now my inspiration. At least i still have my husband to hold and my kids to hug. You are a truly inspiring and strong person who deserves happiness and every opportunity to live life with love and gusto. You have kicked my butt into gear this morning. Thanks Darrell and a big cyber hug! Ria x
Darrell,
Your Wife Gill touched many more people and is still now, than you could imagine, she was incredible and though I barely knew you both Fleur and I were devastated at the news. Although I know the local community is rallying behind you if there is anything i can do for you or the boys let me know, you can contact me through Sally T or Brad C if you need.
Kindest regards,
Stephen Mowlam
Darrell, cyberhugs coming from Adelaide from me. Gill sounded like an amazing woman.
Pizz,
Thanks for your amazing support and for being my mate.
I miss her too!
Hi Janine,
Here’s some hugs coming back at you.
()()()
Thanks Paul,
It has been a great help to me to be able to share my story with you!
Thank you magallanica,
Your words are comforting.
()()
Muzza thanks for your support!
Hi anonymous,
Your comments have made me think about choice! Craig is right in saying i have no choice.
I have to get up every morning and make lunches.
I have to do the washing and cook dinner.
I have to bath the kids because i have no other choice….I can’t take the easy option anymore and sit back and let Gill do all these things!
It has made me realise that often when we have the choice we tend to take the easiest option. I guess I have had to learn the hard way that when the easy option is no longer available that you are able to do things that, previously, you did not think were possible.
Thanks for your comments
Go get ‘em Ria
and ask Brad for a pay rise!
Thanks Stephen
I appreciate your support.
Thanks jaycee,
Here, one coming back at you!
()
Dash,
I will never forget the day we sat in your kitchen and the 3 of us just talked together. Gill showed such passion and strength and it was an amazing moment that I will never forget and I will have in my thoughts and memories forever.
If I can live my life with the same passion, and be half the mother and person that she was with my girls they will be lucky little people.
Gill makes me want to be a better person.
In my thoughts forever x
Hi Dash,
Gill certainly was an amazing Lady. You will both always be winners in my eyes. Look after yourself. Regards Rolla.
Not a day passes without me thinking of Gill Spencer such was her affect on me over the 27 odd years that I had the pleasure of knowing her (although with Gill you only had to know her for 5 minutes to feel like you had known her all your life).I will never forget the day that I learned she was ill and wanted desperately to let her know how much we all loved her but I could never find the words.I watched as she fought with all her strength to stay with the family she loved dearly. I miss her terribly and am in awe at the strength that Dash has shown during Gills illness and since her passing. I know that the boys will grow into fine young men just like their dad(I just hope he doesn’t pass on his dance moves). I love you mate. Pete
Not a day passes that I don’t think of Gill Spencer such was her affect on me over the 27 odd years that I had the pleasure of knowing her(although with Gill you only had to meet her for 5 minutes to feel like you had known her all your life). I will never forget the day that I learned Gill was ill and wanted to tell her how much we all loved her but I could never find the words. I watched as she fought with all her strength to stay with the family she loved so dearly. I miss her terribly and am in awe at the strength that Dash has shown during her illness and since Gills passing. One thing I do know is that the boys will grow into fine men just like their dad(although I do hope he doesn’t pass on those dance moves). I love you mate. Pete
Hi Darrel,
So sorry to hear your very sad story. When i was fifteen my mother passed away, i was the oldest of three kids and didn’t have a great relationship with my Dad. Not a day goes by that i don’t think about my mum, days like yesterday are the hardest! It has however had the slightest of silver linings. I now have an inseparable relationship with my Dad and a drive to succeed and make my mum proud like no other. This will be hard for you and your kids to appreciate now but time brought me clarity and i hope it does you too. I am close friend of Craig’s and i’m glad you met him.
Take good care, my thoughts are with you.
SW
Hey there Darrell!
I echo everyones comments re your touching story. Gill sounds like a remarkable woman, and you her remarkable man!
When we met at the breakfast I wasn’t aware that you recently lost Gill, as I was in conversation with others at the time you were talking to Craig. I do recall tho when I looked your way there were tears welling in your eyes and I sensed some deep loss then. Man you handled that situation so well I don’t think I could have been that composed!
You have amazing strength and it shone through at the breakfast as I am sure it does with all your life!!
It was an honour to meet you and if I am ever up Corowa way I’d love to catch up!
I guess you have had your quota of man hugs by now….Aw… but who cares!!! Here are a couple from me for you and your boys!!
()()()()()()
All the best Darrell!!
Cheers…Craig
(AKA Skater Boy)
Hey Dash
I’ve just read your story and the comments on the internet. Sos sent it to me and told me to read your story.
It certainly does seem that not just Gill, but also you, have inspired a lot of people.
Sos and I both think of you. Best of everything to you
Anne (Robinson)
Darrell, this is a very timely reminder that all too often we don’t recognise what we have until we lose it. Your courage and determination is an inspiration to us all.
The next time I’m about to yell at my boys for the latest heinous crime they’ve committed (i.e. not picking up their toys or being too noisy in their exuberance and enjoyment of life) I’m going to take a deep breath and remind myself of how lucky I am.
Hi Darrell
I read your story a few days ago and wanted to leave a message but struggled to find the right words. I lost a close friend from the same struggle whose husband was also left behind with two boys and have watched while all have slowly rebuilt their lives. I just want to tell you that as unfair as it all seems especially on special days like Mothers Day, my friend and his boys have moved on enough that they can have a life with laughter again as much as they miss their mum. You abviously have lots of special people around you who can support you, one of them being a friend who told me of your story. Thier love and support and hopefully all the kind words all have to offer will soften the pain and help you to miantain the courage you have already shown
When i think of my friends family my thoughts will be with you too
Hi Rolla,
Thanks mate.
Hey Pete,
So what’s wrong with my dancing anyway? I don’t remember Peter Garrett copping this much criticism!
I love you to mate…Thanks for your support.
Hi SW,
I am sure your mum is very proud of you. Thank you for sharing those thoughts.
Likewise I just want to make my wife proud of me and the boys!
Hi Skater Boy,
I remember you clearly, I hope I am that toned when I am fifty something!
I would love to catch up if you are ever in Corowa. My email is below.
Thanks for the hugs. ()()
darrellspencer@hotkey.net.au
Thanks for yor thoughts Anne!
Hi geekgirlau,
Sometimes boys need to be yelled at but they also need lots of love & attention.
Often we get caught up in our own important busy little world and forget to give them the time, love and affection they need.
They are lucky they have a mum who realises how lucky she is. (Does that make sense?)
Hey Dashaaaaa
Craig said you look like you should be out surfing, well there is a bed for three and surfboard up here waiting for you and the boys.
Gill would be so proud of you, just keep up your strength and looking forward to seeing soon.
darrell, it is surely better to have loved and lost then never to have loved or been loved at all.
julie, hobart, tas
Thanks for the offer Danoooo…..will you bring the “Beach Ball”?
Dash, Gill was a gorgeous girl from the time she was a teenager – I think she just didn’t know how to be anything else.
The world is a poorer place with her absence – but I realise that she is here everyday – because everytime I see you or the boys there she is – especially when you are together. She will always be here in you guys. She would be so proud of you and the boys – they are beautiful like their mum.
All our love – Mary H
Hey Dash,
Both Susan and I think your strength and courage during this difficult time is overwhelming.
Having lost both parents to the dreaded disease I can empathise with the amount of difficulty of care involved with radiation and chemo therapy so Gills’ strength to choose the path she did is testament to her courage and convictions.
We miss her walking past our shop window and giving her friendly wave and smile.
()()
Patton Family
Hi Darrell,
I came across your story last week as I was reading through all the others written and it brought tears to my eye’s, not realising who had actually written it till Craig posted it on Saturday.
My husband and I were also at the breakfast that morning & I didn’t really take the oppurtunity to get to know you as I was spending more time getting to know some of the girls.
Your story really touched us both and has made me even more appreciative of my loved ones.
I lost a very close family member a little over a year ago to heart disease and as someone else mentioned earlier it is stil surreal to this day.
Your strength is inspiring and I do hope there are other opportunities in the future to get to know you.
Our thoughts & heartfelt prayers do go out to you & your boys.
Shell & Earl
Very true Julie,
I will always appreciate and never forget the amazing love that we shared.
Dash,
there is no doubt that you have the love and support of everyone in the town, the district but now also the world.
Gill will always be in our hearts, she is an amazing person and so are you.
Hey Dash
I had been following Gills story through mum at home and what you and her were going through.
It gave me and im sure alot of people a tremendous amount of inspiration to hear how you too had so much fight.
That just goes to show how much character you two have.
I know those two boys are going to turn out to be fantastic, well disciplined kids with a role model like you. (I echo Chis’ comments and say hopefully they don’t pick up your dance moves!)
Look forward to catching up with you soon for a drink Dash.
You are making everyone proud and proud to know you.
Lachie Longmire
Thanks for your kind words Mary H
Thank you Pattons,
Have some cyberhugs back
()()()
Hi Shell & Earl,
I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.
Maybe we will get an opportunity to meet again in the future.
If Craig shouts another breakfast!!
C’mon Lachie, you know I am a gun dancer. You have the footage to prove it!
Darrell
You are an inspiration to us all mate. Your piece of writing was amazing…ive printed it out if you dont mind. Something to inspire me when ‘things are tough’ because we do tend to worry about things for no reason! Gill was an amazing person and she will always be in our hearts. Hopefully catch up with you when im back home!
Dean Henneman
Hey Deano,
No worries mate, look forward to catching up.
I haven’t been around for a while, but I have never forgotten and never will forget that Gill had a smile inside and out that could change your day.
Dasha does too for that matter and I am sure you have both passed that on to your boys.
Thats amazing… and I want to be like that.
Thinking of you. ()
Renee Donovan.
darrell you are an amazing person and a fabulous caring father.the boys are very blessed to have a dad like you.Gill was an amazing lady and a wonderful friend who taught us all a lot about what is really important in life.Any help you need just call.love kate
Gill was such a beautiful person, and she touched many lives. She is imprinted in one of my earliest memories of Corowa.
Your strength to share your story is inspiring.
Kindest regards
Mandy Kent
Hi Renee….long time no see,
Thanks for yor thoughts.
()
Hi Kate,
Thank you for your ongoing support, it is really appreciated.
Hi Mandy,
Gill did touch many lives, more than she ever would have imagined.
I don’t know you, Darrell. Nor did I know Gill. The only thing I can offer is my prayer that your pain gives way and that your and your sons’ Spirits find peace and happiness again.
Hi Carolyn,
Thanks for your prayers, they help.
Hi Darrell,
sincere wishes of love to you, your boys, your family and to Gill.
Jo
Thanks Jo
()()
Hello Darrell, thank you for your inspiration. Thanks also for your reality check. Stories like yours remind us that our lives are not as bad as we think.
Joel
U.K.
Dear Darell and family,
Thank you for sharing your tragedy with us. Nothing anyone says will ease your pain but time does heal. I lost my brother 11 years ago and he had 2 small children at the time. His memory lives on through them and I am sure your wife will live on through your children also.
May the wonderful memories you created together as friends, as a couple and as a family be forever strong.
Big hugs to you all,
Tanya
Hey Joel,
Your welcome mate.
Thank you Tanya,
Have some hugs back.
()()
Hi Darrell,
Gill is an inspiration and your story will help me to continue to appreciate/ love and cherrish my children and be grateful for my life and my health. I will pray for you and your boys, your openess and willing to talk will always make you stronger because there are always people around yu that will want to take a little pain away from you and try to make you feel a bit better and stronger, and over time you will come a long way. I’m truely sorry for yur loss. Sending you a cyber hug (a new thing for me!) () Tarsh
Hi Tarsh,
Thanks and good luck to you and your children.
If that is the first cyber hug you have sent…..then here is the first one for you!
()
God Bless!
many many hugs!
I’m so very sorry for your loss. And while this is probably little comfort for the loss itself, your story has touched me, and given me some very important things to think about, so thank you.
Darrell,
Hmmmm – You have so much to live for now…. I never knew your story…even though we’ve chatted occasionally! Righteo – let’s get started on that personal training! Let me know when!!! Ready when you are!
Hi rivermama,
Many hug to you too!
()()()()
Hi Jenn,
It is comforting to know that in our loss, some have found some perspective.
Hi Kath
I will be on the phone as soon as I am ready.
Hi Dash,
Wishing you and your beautiful boys love and strenght, Gill was an amazing person and one who will stay in our hearts forever.
Thinking of you all
Love Lauren Dunn xoxo
Hi Lauren,
Thanks for your thoughts.
Take Care.
()()
Hi Darrell,
Got to hear about your courageous journey through the Mills family and all your fans here in Perth. Just wanted to say your story is a true inspiration, and what a strong person and father you must be. Take Care.
“Anyone can give up, its the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, thats true strength”
Thinking of you and your family
Cara Purslow
()xx
Hi Darrell,
Simple and beautiful prose. Gill is missed -no doubt by many, and features in my meditation/Reiki sessions daily at the moment, as do you (albeit a little less regularly)…The Tibetan buddhists offer approaches to helping those who have passed, and I am endeavouring to implement some of those on Gill’s behalf.
Love, hugs and TTs.
Geoff
Thanks Cara,
I appreciate your thoughts and kind words.
Take Care
()()
P.S. Say hi to Matt
Thanks Geoff,
I hope your journey is going well.
Stay in touch.
TTs and hugs to you too!
()()()
Hey Dash,
A very touching story. Gill was very special and we know her loving kind spirit will continue in those beautiful boys you have.
Take care
Emma
(CW)
Hey CW (alias Emma)
Thanks for your kind words.
()
Hi Darrell – Although I didn’t know Gill so well, she always stood out to be a wonderful happy person and always smiling. When I was diagnosed wuth OvCa early Feb, one of my first thoughts were of her journey, and how you all were going. Marg told me your story was on this blog site, and that your writing was wonderful and inspiration. Goodluck with all you do Darrell. To share your story is courageous. My sister was diagnosed with Breast Cancer for the second time last week, and I’ll be passing on this site to her to look up. Thank you -Christine B.
Hi Christine
Good luck to you and your sister on your journeys.
I wish you both health and happiness!
Hi Darrell- After finding out about this site today and reading the story you wrote (which was just beautiful) hope you don’t mind if I leave our love and support also.
Gill, yourself and the boys were really dealt one of lifes toughest cards. Gill had incrediable strenght and will be remembered always to be young and beautiful. The boys will grow to be fine people as they are the result of a couple who truly loved each other. You are also strong,a great dad and a person to be admired.
When my dad passed away someone told me to look over my left shoulder, dad was there. You know what, I think they are right. His spirit lives on.
Take care
Sue, Ross and Davis family
Hi Darrell
You continue to amaze me, you are an inspiration to everybody. You should be so proud of yourself and your beautiful boys. I truly believe nobody every leaves us completely, while Gill might not be here in the flesh, she will always be in your heart & the heart of all those she touched, and believe me, there are plenty of those. Take care of yourself.
Paula Fisher
Mate you may not be the best & fairest but you are definitely a WINNER. That won’t be the case when I get to Corowa 4 tennis next Easter of course! Love and hugs to you and your beautiful boys. Mark Davo
Well, Darrell,
Having spoken to you today maybe for the first time really since being in Corowa I realised that I should have followed my feelings when Gill was first diagnosed, but was advised by well meaning folk to stay away as too many helpers can be overwhelming and confusing. As we discussed today, living and dying is work, and can be ‘good’ work. We can have a ‘good’ death which provides meaning for all involved, and gives strength and hope to those left behind. Gill will be with you and the boys forever, just in another form. She will facilitate miracles and allow you to meet with angels who light a diffent path. You can complete your story you started with Gill and she will guide you, advise you and have a copy of the master plan. You have to give in and trust as well as embrace the opportunities – as you know you can and will do.
Today was a gift. Thank you.
Julianne