Turn Your Cap Backwards and Let Your Butt-Crack Show a Little

One of the potential dangers of being a personal development writer and speaker (or anyone who is a personal development junkie for that matter) is that we can run the risk of becoming overly-intense, one-dimensional, predictable, self-righteous, boring, improve-a-holics, who don’t know when or how to have fun and won’t do anything unless it’s economically sound, completely sensible and we have a viable, logical ten-point plan to make it all happen. You think I’m exaggerating? You should meet some of the people I meet. Boring!

For those of you who don’t know, I have one other minor addiction.

Yep, other than my well-documented penchant for baked cheesecake, I have a small motorbike issue. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know watcha thinkin’ – how can someone so grounded, logical, philosophical and educated be so stupid? My parents have been asking that question for twenty five years. Sure, it’s a little illogical, irrational, potentially dangerous, unsafe and irresponsible, but seriously, how much fun are motorbikes? Plenty.


Have some fun, just because you can.

Now and then it’s good for us grown-ups to step out of our very serious, analytical, mature, responsible headspace and simply have some fun. For no other reason than the enjoyment it brings. Fun like kids have. Remember that? Especially some of us goal-driven, high-achiever types. In truth, some high-achievers are miserable, boring, intense, pains-in-the-ass. But then again, are you really a high-achiever if you’re not happy (Hmmm)? They’re so busy building their empire and ‘achieving’ that they miss out on the day-to-day joy and fun of life. It’s great to be focused and passionate about building our best life (I am, you are), but if, in the building of that best life there’s not some regular fun, laughing and occasional silliness, then we’re missing the point and following the wrong plan. We plan for the future (of course) but we live in the now. And if the now is constantly devoid of fun, we’re doing something wrong.

We need to off-set the work with some play.

I make no apologies for my motorbike thing. In fact, they are an integral part of my stress-management program. Oh alright, they are my stress-management program! No phone, no computer, no knocks on the door and no problems to solve, just white-knuckle, endorphin-inducing acceleration (up to the speed limit of course) and that mind-numbing growl of one hundred and eighty horses beneath me desperately trying to throw me off the back. Aaaah the joy of it all. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it. Clearly not everybody’s idea of fun, but works for me.

Too much ’sensible’.

I already spend far too much of my life being sensible. Sometimes I’m so sensible and responsible that I even drive myself nuts. I find me annoying! Take a chill-pill Captain Serious. Some days I don’t wanna talk about five-year plans, the meaning of life, cultural change, global warming or caloric intakes, I wanna talk about the bloke I know who can drink chocolate milk through his nose and the chick I saw on TV who can play music with her hand under her sweaty armpit – now that makes me laugh. That’s worth a chat! I so wanna meet that girl. I’m sorry for appalling you all but every now and then I need to be that silly fifteen year old boy I once was. We all do. Not in an irresponsible, reckless, destructive kinda way, no, more in a ‘my-guts-are-killing-me-from-laughin-so-hard’ and a ’stop-it-I-can’t-breath’… kinda way.

Sorry girls, you’re missing out.

While I totally acknowledge that you girls are superior in so many ways, one thing I love about us blokes is our inbuilt crap-talking ability. We can generate more inane, mindless, hilarious drivel (hilarious to us that is!) in one hour than you girls could manufacturer in a week. Sorry but we have it all over you there. And anyway, we know that it’s not really a skill any of you desire. We men can sit at a table (as I do every day with the boys for lunch) and talk non-stop crap for hours. Completely unproductive, pointless and funny. And we’re totally happy doing it. We don’t wanna talk about relationships, we wanna talk about power tools, sport and farts. Simple creatures.

The health benefits of avoiding ’sensible’.

God gave us blokes that gift – to amuse ourselves with stupidity. It gives you women a rest from us. It’s therapeutic for both genders. I laugh out loud every single time I have lunch with the boys. A lot. And guess what? Laughing produces a hormonal response which boosts our immune system. Laughing improves our health – for real!! There’s an absolute correlation between joy, laughter, fun and better physical health. Just as much as there’s a relationship between misery, anxiety, stress and disease – that’s where the term dis-ease comes from. Forget all those tabs you’re on, just come to lunch with me and the lads and laugh your ass off!

Turn your cap backwards and let your butt-crack show a little.

Sometimes I think that kids are so much smarter than us dumb adults. They are experts at finding ways to have fun (there’s an idea grown-ups), while we are experts at finding new things to worry about. Kids all start out as optimists but us clever grown-ups train them to be pessimists (we use the term realist) by the time they’re about fifteen. We suck the joy, optimism, creativity and fun out of them because we want to prepare them for the ‘realities’ of life. Lucky them. If only we all understood that responsible behaviour, intelligence and common sense don’t need to be at the expense of joy, fun and occasional silliness.

If there’s no fun, what’s the point?

There’s certainly something to be said for some regular fun but sadly, I meet far too many ‘High-Achievers’ and ‘Personal Development Devotees’ who are so busy achieving and climbing the ladder that they look like they’ve had their ‘fun gene’ surgically removed. “Don’t bother me I’m in the zone, I’ll smile in ten years when I’m rich.” Last week I met with a wealthy, extremely busy, successful (that’s debatable) entrepreneur who could easily be the poster boy for stress and misery. I looked at him and thought ’seriously, what’s the point’?

Sure, we’ve gotta pay the bills, put food on the table and send our kids to school, but if the net result of you pursuing your goals is constant stress, anxiety, exhaustion and for the most part, misery, then Dude, come up with a plan B. One that incorporates some fun and joy.

Over the last few weeks I have felt the need to prescribe less structure, planning and goal setting and more fun with some of the people I’ve been mentoring. Lately I’ve met a bunch of people who are driven, focused, disciplined, well on their way to ’success’… but very, very serious about life. Too serious. It’s great to be ‘in the zone’ with our goals and dreams but not if it’s at the expense of fun. Success and fun don’t need to be mutually exclusive. In fact, the most successful people laugh a lot. They know when and how to switch on and off. They understand (practically) the need for some random silliness and laughs.

If you haven’t learnt that fun is a choice, then learn.

Having fun isn’t about situations, circumstances, events, luck or other people, it’s about the attitude we take into every day. It’s about finding the fun. It’s about creating the fun.

Sure, I’m all about developing the philosophical, the spiritual, the emotional, the psychological and the physical me, and I’m all for consciously building my best life, but I am gonna make sure that from time to time my cap is on backwards and I’m sharing just a hint of butt-crack with the world.

You lucky people.