The Beer-Fuelled Marathon

Hi Team. Following on from yesterday’s post, part two of ‘Life Purpose’ will be up soon; it’s taking a little longer than I had anticipated and spare time is something I’m short of this week. It’s half finished and should be good to go for tomorrow, so stay tuned. There will be no educational or inspirational download from me to you today, just a little silliness instead. A momentary distraction from the serious business that is your life! If you’re after some life-changing personal development, you might be advised to come back tomorrow…

The Think Tank

Most days (when I’m in Melbourne) I have lunch with my business partner Mikey and my boy Johnny (and the occasional visitor). It gives us an hour away from the business mayhem and it’s an opportunity for us boys to talk mindless crap, eat, laugh a lot, eat some more and be completely irresponsible and periodically inappropriate. We have discussions that women would never have. Ever. Not better or worse, just different. You girls totally wouldn’t see the point of the mindless drivel that flows from our gobs. Discussions about ridiculous, hypothetical situations and scenarios. Funny things. The more pointless and unlikely, the better. A surprising number of our discussions start with something stupid like “imagine if you had your own rocket back-pack and you could fly to work.” See, I told you; stupid. I’m so glad those sessions aren’t recorded. My already-fragile credibility could be completely smashed and I might be exposed for the over-sized teenager that I am. While we occasionally talk work, we generally do our best to avoid anything resembling a grown-up conversation. It’s a boy thing.

The Genesis of GeniusSo yesterday at lunch, the three mental giants (us) were all chatting about the upcoming marathon on October 12; the Melbourne Marathon (42.2 kms, 26 miles). Both Mikey and Johnny are running it and the suggestion was made that perhaps yours truly should be at the finish line with beers in hand when the two alpha males break the tape in first and second places (ish). What ensued from that reasonable suggestion was twenty minutes of mindless, pseudo-scientific banter exploring the potential physiological benefits (surely they exist) and consequences of running a marathon using beer as the only means of hydration during the event.

In the Name of Science

Being the pioneer and the seeker of all truth and knowledge that he is, Mikey selflessly and without thought for his own welfare or safety, raised his hand in the name of scientific exploration and advancement. And alcohol. “I’ll do it for mankind”, he said selflessly. “You’re in”, came the reply from an already-laughing… me. And the beer-fuelled marathon was born. So it was decided that in about six weeks from now (after his official marathon) Mikey is going to run a beer-fuelled marathon. Of course there’s nothing better than a good laugh, a test of one’s physical endurance (some might say, stupidity) and a little scientific research, so why not combine the three? Sounds like good logic to me. And of course, with Australia’s obsession with sport and beer, an amalgamation seems to make complete sense doesn’t it? Perhaps not. Don’t think too hard about that question.

How does it Work?

Good question. Amazingly, we’re going to make the process (yep, there’s actually a process) as scientific as we can. It will go something like this:

1. Mikey will run a marathon and consume six, 375ml (12.7 ounces) bottles of full strength beer along the way. The beer will be consumed at set intervals and provision will be made to ensure no spillage (waste not, want not).

2. He will have his blood alcohol and hydration levels tested pre and post-event. Naturally the blood alcohol reading will be zero before the event and we would assume it will be above zero at the completion of the marathon.

3. We will compare his pre and post-race hydration levels from the beer-fuelled marathon (BFM) with the comparative data from his regular marathon.

4. In the week following the BFM, Mikey will consume the same amount of alcohol over the same time frame (the time it took him to complete his BFM) while sitting on a couch (complete inactivity). After drinking the six bottles in the allocated time, he will have his hydration levels and blood alcohol level taken. We will also check his hydration levels before he starts drinking.

5. We will compare the data (blood alcohol levels etc.) from BFM with the couch drinking session. This should give us an indication of the effect that strenuous exercise has on blood alcohol levels – with the couch session being a control (of sorts).

Goals of the ‘Experiment’.

1. To see what happens to Mikey and to laugh a lot.

2. To compare the physiological effects of drinking half a dozen bottles of beer while planted on a couch, against drinking the same amount of beer while running a marathon. Specifically, to compare blood alcohol concentration between the two processes. Same amount of alcohol, over the same time frame consumed by the same person – doing two completely different things (sitting, running). It should give us an indication of how much alcohol gets ‘used’ over the 42.2 km run.

3. To observe the impact of the alcohol on his performance (speed, co-ordination, technique, concentration, energy levels).

DisclaimerNow before I get a bunch of emails telling me how irresponsible I am, keep in mind that:

1. Yes, we know it’s silly. That’s the point. Lighten up.

2. This is a one-off experiment by a fit, young, strong, slightly stupid volunteer – it ain’t gonna kill him (but he may hurl).

3. I’m not suggesting anyone else try this.

4. I realise there is zero personal development or educational value in this post. That was the whole idea.

Anyway…

I’ll let you know how Mikey goes. There will be pictures, possibly a video and definitely a written report. See you with something much more responsible and appropriate tomorrow.

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