Cheesecake-a-holic
So, what’s your food issue? C’mon, you can tell me. It’s just us. Is there just one issue or are there several? Is it a constant or does it come and go? Do you over-eat? Under-eat? Perhaps you alternate between the two? I have in the past. Is your issue minor or major? Do you lie about it? Have you? I have. Does it have a negative impact on your emotional and mental states? Your life? Relationships? Career? Is it worse in certain situations or under certain circumstances? Are there specific triggers? That cheesecake photo doesn’t help! Do you ever feel out of control? Weird? Ashamed? I have. Are you ever preoccupied with food? Only when I’m awake. Have you started and stopped a bazillion diets? Like… totally. Do you eat one way when people are around and another way when you’re alone? What hidden chocolate? Do you eat when you don’t need to? Yep. Do you medicate with food? Reward yourself (or maybe your kids) with it? Are you ever defensive about your eating habits? Am not, you are.
A Common Issue
In my humble opinion (and it’s almost impossible to verify and quantify this educated guess-timation), almost everyone has some kind of food issue. It might be some occasional (and relatively-minor) over-eating, it could be a full-blown eating disorder (with potentially life-ending consequences) or it could be anything in between. There is indeed a lot of space between disordered eating and an eating disorder. If a score of ten on the Healthy Eating Scale (the one I just invented for this post) is perfect eating (does it actually exist?) and zero is total dysfunction, I think the majority of us live someone between three and seven with occasional visits to one and nine. These days, I mostly live around seven to eight but back in the day, I spent plenty of time in the vicinity of three. So, where do you (mostly) live on the soon-to-be-world-famous Craig Harper Healthy Eating Scale?
Honesty
When it comes to exploring and dissecting people’s eating habits, one of the most elusive things to find is total honesty. Complete transparency. Why? Well, lots of reasons but mostly because we don’t want people to think we’re freaks. So, in order to look and sound normal (which is a myth anyway) we lie our arses off. Ironically, we actually lie our arses on.
Think about it. 
And it’s this lack of honesty (that is, deception of others and deception of self) that is probably the biggest barrier to health, healing and transformation for most of us. As long as we keep bullshitting ourselves and others (about our eating habits, behaviours and decisions), we fail to address the underlying issues (they’re always there) and we continue to inhabit our make-believe world. We also fail to deal with our food issues in a logical and practical manner and finally, we keep the cycle of mental, emotional and physical destruction in motion.
A Story
A few years back, I worked with a woman who would wait until everyone was asleep (husband, kids), roll her car down the driveway, start the engine on the street, drive to a twenty-four hour store and buy herself a large tub of ice-cream. Following her purchase, she would sit in the car and shovel in four litres (a gallon-ish) of ice-cream with a spoon she had brought from home. She would then dispose of the evidence and drive home. Usually in tears. She ‘enjoyed’ this nocturnal ritual at least three or four times a week.
When I met her, she had been doing this for years. After a month of reading her (largely fictitious) food diary (the one I asked her to keep), I knew she was lying about her eating habits and I told her so. That went down well. One day in the middle of a rather heated and emotional exchange, she blurted out the truth to me. I was the first person she had ever told. Tears, snot, anger and finally, some acknowledgement and honesty. And a little relief.
Progress at last.
I later discovered that the ice-cream trips were just one part of a destructive eating cycle that had been going on for years. It started when she was a teenager and continued for two (and a bit) decades. The day she told me the truth was the last time she ever binged and the first time she had been totally honest with anyone (about her eating issues). Yes, I’m sure. It was also the catalyst for significant (and lasting) weight-loss (over 20 kgs). When she revealed her secret to me, I didn’t judge her, criticise her or question her. I simply hugged her and told her I was proud of her for being courageous and honest. We then put our minds to creating a practical plan for her to do better. Her embarrassment, fear and shame simply fizzled out of existence as we consciously and constructively went about the business of change. It’s amazing what can happen when someone receives love, acceptance and support rather than (the anticipated) judgement, condemnation and criticism.
Doctor Who?
To illustrate how broad-reaching this issue is, I’ll share with you an interesting fact about my client: she was (and still is) a doctor. That’s right; intelligence, education and knowledge don’t necessarily have anything to do with how we complex creatures behave around food. Knowing what to do and doing what we know are very different things. Her career was a big contributor to her embarrassment about her eating habits. When she started to communicate with me like a person with issues – rather than a qualification with a reputation – the floodgates opened and the wheels of progress rolled into action.
While I don’t have an eating disorder (as such), I have certainly been a skilled exponent of (periodic) disordered eating over the years. Apparently forty-ish year-old (am so) endomorphs don’t need a slab of cheesecake each day. Who knew? So not fair.
While there’s no simple answer, quick-fix or one-approach-fits-all solution to this problem, a good place to start is honesty, awareness and acknowledgement. Not self-loathing or self-pity, just total honesty and a genuine willingness to do and be different.
Now, I know you have thoughts, ideas and experiences you’d like to share on this topic, so start writing. Even you Scaredy-Cats who never comment. We don’t bite.
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Alrighty Craigo,
Yep, it’s an issue for me and one I do plan to get a full handle on for good in this lifetime!
I find the longer this as you call it circular behaviour goes on the more draining and destructive it feels and the more annoying the rut feels and the harder it ‘feels’ to get back on track again plus the longer it seems to take for results to come, – I turn 30 in 3 weeks.
However for me when I make ‘gradual’ changes………progress doesn’t seem quick at all, I fizzle too quickly. I seem to last longer on track if I make bigger changes and see some progress more quickly.
I’ve never tried a ‘diet’ and have never been totally strict. I work in hospitality with different shifts so don’t eat at set times/never have so when ‘on track’ it’s a matter of making do with choices I consider controlled and reasonable and I do like healthy food lots, it’s not like I have hardcore standards!
The initial get going is always tough mentally, – and dealing with less fitness levels, extra flab and cravings, mindsets and grumpiness! But after a while I lose my desire for bingeing, junk, sugar etc then am pleased to be on track, start to feel unstoppable almost and feel so confident such as…….I won’t lose this momentum, this is it! Maybe I start spending more money on smaller clothes, going out, (and lose more control of my finances). I may recover from a couple of small food slip ups I’m not happy with, (such as after wine etc) BUT eventually BAMM, I always end up having a binge and then really struggle to get back on track and it can for me take months to do properly but I always do it!
So I’m back at it again with this sorting food issue out for once and all, losing 10-14kg and getting body fat comfortably under 25%, have fitness target plans, plus the same type of thing with finances so they continue to go forward, – have set non-negotiable behaviours, am just taking it one day at a time, (or hour if need be), don’t want to tell anyone much or write about it too much as it’s about the 958th time and sounds like a yawn LOL!
I’ve set myself yet another task to stick with this for a year then I can see if I want to continue down this path or go back to my old ways! One of my new biggest challenges this time is not so much worrying about an uncontrolled slip, (I’m permitting up to 10 a year), – ideally none but! The biggie is getting back on track the day after a slip no matter what it takes. I know I may average 1300-2000 cals a day when in control I’m happy with…………a slip up day can total over 6000. So I wake up feeling bloated and horrid and guilty and angry and feel like I shouldn’t eat anything for at least 3 days, – just drink water so I get calorie balance back in check, – particularly if only a few kg off my goal weight! Of course that never works when we have employment etc! But if I just get back on track with a control level I’m happy with rather than continue to overindulge that would be great! I am aiming for a ‘range’ weight/fat wise, I expect to fluctuate by up to 5kg depending on my objectives at the time but need to stop the huge fluctuations!
Small success is:
* Cut off point used to be 90kg,
* 23 months ago I said it would be 85kg and I haven’t seen anything above 85kg since.
* During 2010 I haven’t seen anything in the 80′s at all or above to date……….lets make sure that doesn’t change!
I have some experiences in common with this post. I’ve been on and off diets all my life. I was a fat baby, and I never seemed to lose the fat. I had a strong fear of my mother and this made me upset. I remember thinking as a child that I would never be the same as other children, that there was no hope for me. I thought I might as well give up on ever being socially accepted. My life has continued pretty much from there.
Pushed my buttons with this one Craig. One of the most important issues facing parents today is to find a way to protect kids who start feeling bad about their bodies. Do you have any suggestions?
You spoke about honesty so here goes. I think a lot of women are influenced by their parents (mother’s) eating disorders. My mother has unintentionally passed on her eating disorder to me. We have spoken about it many times and she regrets what she has done but alas it’s done. This is not meant to be an excuse but this is my story.
Keep me away from cheese lovers pizza deep pan cos I can’t stop at two pieces
Interesting post…I would reframe this from what’s your food issue to how do you choose to respond to food. I know it’s a little long for an article title
As with anything in life, food is a choice or should I say, how we respond to and with food is a choice…based on our perception of what it will do for us.
When we change that internal representation of a specific food we change our response and then our results. Great topic!
My dark secret was doughnuts before work (I ate them in my car) and going out to lunch. When my husband was laid off at the beginning of the year, we had to start counting pennies and I couldn’t buy doughnuts or go out to lunch anymore. I have lost 9 pounds, which is more that I have ever lost without supplements. We are also amazed how our little diet has saved us a huge amount of money month. My husband is back at work and I sometimes find myself at the doughnut shop, but not nearly as much.
Chocolate! How I love thee . . . I’ve found it best just to not be around it and give it away if it is gifted to me. That always seems to happen a day or two into my new-found resolve to eat healthier . . . I apparently have bad chocolate karma
I have finally gotten into the firm habit of bringing a healthy breakfast and lunch with me to work most days and it has made a big difference in how I look and feel. I have also finally gotten into a regular exercise habit, through much trial and error. I hope that these strategies will lead me into a healthy life and a slimmer body.
I was a chubby child and have always had issues with food as my extended family raised me by rewarding me with sweets. Also, “young ladies” shouldn’t get dirty and sweat. So not alot of exercise encouraged during childhood either.
However, it is never to late to change to a healthier lifestyle! Best wishes to everyone in the fight against their food issues
this post made me feel almost normal
im a 5’6, 124lb, half marathon running, healthy eating 27 year old who works in mental health. i also binge on complete junk 2-3 times a week. no one knows, and the few people i’ve tried to tell didnt believe me. i keep on working at it, and am relieved that im not the only one. thanks for this post 
It is 3am Perth time and I’m up reading one of the many weight loss books that I have, wondering which extreme plan I’m going to follow before I go to Bali in a couple of weeks….. even though I have had 9 months of pre trip planning to lose the 10 kilos!
Over the 9 months I have done two 12 week challenge’s at the local gym and been a member of weight watchers over this time and I have only lost 3.3 kilos…and I have a PT. The training I enjoy and have always worked out quite hard!
It’s the constant yo yo diet/binge (good/bad) cycle I cannot seem to stop! I have lost the same 10 kilo’s each year after year for about 15 years and I’m exhausted…..
My mum has been like this her whole life, I would love to break this cycle for not only for myself but also for my 8 year old daughter!
Long long time lurker……
Hmm. I’m currently in the middle of an overthinking period. Too much thinking and eating and not enough action. Today was my new day so I started with 3 pieces of mg toast with peanut butter. Sure, I measured the PB…only 1tbs but it does not fit into my WW plan too well. Now to keep the wheels on for the rest of the day to bring this baby home within my limits. Typically, I am testing myself and (no doubt), setting myself up for failure.
I love my family with food. I bake them a batch or two of biscuits every fortnight cos they are better than the commercial ones. (!) There would be a whole lot more there at the end of each fortnight if I did not sneak them. Son got an exceptional report card so I cooked his favourite meal with dessert. Daughter got her ears pierced so that deserved a mum and daughter chocolate frog didn’t it? They’re away at the moment staying with my folks. Already I am planning their favourite meal and dessert for their home coming. I reward myself with chocolate when I fuel the car. Not often I can go to the corner shop for something without a small reward to eat in the car on the way home, hiding the evidence under the seat.
I am guilty of calorie amnesia. I am guilty of thinking I can outrun calories. 44 year old overweight woman cannot run that far nor that fast!
Wow if I get a hug from you then… this might be worth sharing….
Thanks Craig. Another thought-provoking post to start the day!
I agree with Gregg that how we respond to food is a choice. Investing a specific food with magical healing properties (i.e. it will make this particular problem go away) is part of the issue.
Seeing every food as just fuel for the body rather than some sort of medication or reward may be a good starting point…
Greg, totally disagree Interesting post…’how do you choose to respond to food’ is not only a little long but NOT true…
As said by yourself food is a choice but HOW you repond to it is NOT! It can be for some like an alcholic yes they can choose NOT to pick up the ‘substance’ but how they respond once it is in their system is NOT a choice…
And trust me in my experience this is NOT…based perception
I have tried everything to chang my make up and especially with my reaction to food and I woudl think myself somewhat an expert in this area as 1) I have been Anorexic, 2) obese 3) normal weight and YES I have delved into all of the phycotherapy you can imagine but sweetie… to NO avail.. when I eat or have certain substances in my system – something responds… Similar to the Icer Cream – Is is drug to me… and can be a very dangerous one…
As we can see Obsesity and food is killing our socierty at the same rate as World War III.. and you say it is a choice..
I did NOT choose my make up – yet now I accept it…and I know from girls I coach that the moment I actually suggest they can never eat peanut butter again they feel relived.. NO, not like a diet but more as there body reacts – Funny how we so readily accept that someone is allergic to Peanuts because there throat swells but the moment we even suggest that it is THE FOOD not us.. god forbid – we cant see the mental anquish so we must be wrong..
it is okay for someone to be crack addict but because Im not shooting bread up my arm – its not okay – i am expected to scoff it by myself and dye in this or starve… out of fear – NO WAY
Obviously Gregg you have what i refer to as a ‘normal’ make up but for me this is not the reality.. acceptance is…
Hi Craigo (I like names ending with ‘o’)
My food issue is the weekend. From Monday to about 5pm Friday on the Craig Harper Healthy Eating Scale (CHHES) I rate at least an 8. On the weekend I am anywhere from a 3 to a 7 on the CHHES.
Funnily enough I don’t have big guilt trips if I over indulge I just shrug my shoulders admit what I have done wasn’t good and get back on track straight away. I guess that’s the main reason why my weight has only fluctuated about 4kg for the last 5-6 years.
Geez! Were you in my head when you wrote this?
The hidden eating is the worst followed by the guilt/depression which leads to medicating/punishing with ‘comfort’ food, which leads to guilt/depression…………………………………
Round and round and round we go.
Where we will stop no body knows.
I think you, Kate and Gregg make extremely valid points.
) . However, I’ve had plenty of food issues which is hard in my line of work.
I’m a bit like your subject, a double degree qualified health professional (who thought a degree in Ex Phys would preclude her from food issues – silly me
I believe that Gregg makes a valid point in how you choose to respond to food. Certainly true – then Kate tells of her story which sounds to me like a classic “food addiction” story – withdraw from the culprit foods and the mind becomes clear – then you really do have the choice in how you respond to food. But in an “addicted” state….no dice.
Cheers
Liz N
Hi All – really dont think this woman has a choice in her response to food…
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/world/7480873/woman-eats-15-minutes-stay-healthy
But she is trying her best to manage it…
Hi Craig,
I’m looking at your post at a different angle. You mentioned when you met this woman (the one who regularly ate the 4Lt tub of ice cream) you new she wasn’t telling you the truth and you said ‘I didn’t judge,criticise or question her’.
You go on to say ‘ it’s amazing what can happen when someone receives love,acceptance and support rather than judgement,condemnation and criticism’.
These points I believe are the most important part when trying to help someone. Being there for them as you were helped them come out , uncover their habits/secrets because they felt secure around you.
Many of us don’t discuss our habits/problems because we fear being judged,criticised. If more people around us such as our family,friends,partners had your approach many of us would know and feel we were being supported through our ordeal.
This would help us cope in our situation because we would feel supported and not judged but unfortunately their are many….. around me that have done the opposite and this has caused me to shut down and seek help from people that think like you.
I don’t believe its what we put in our mouth that is the problem but the fact that we hide from it because of lack of understanding and support from people around us is.
Like you suggested it is so much easier to know what you should be doing than it is to actually do it.
I get up early most mornings to exercise and I run 40-50 km a week. I should look and feel a hell of a lot better than I do. Unfortunately I still have food issues that hark way back (not fair to blame everything on our Mums but it does seem to start there!)
I just can’t seem to look at food as only a fuel to sustain me. It’s often a reward, punishment, solace, revenge so many things.
I agree that we all have some sort of ‘issue’ and identifying it is definitely the first step.
Good luck!
Hi Craigo (I to like names to end in an “O” must be the ocker in me
)
I know at the time what I’m doing but still do it. I have always said it is like having a angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other and they have an argument…. should I shouldn’t I… yes, no and sometimes the angel wins and I feel in control and other times the devil wins and I feel like crap.
This makes me feel like I have some control.
I to am a “foodaholic”, I have been known to sit in the car and eat a chocolate bar or cake etc and hide the wrapper just so I don’t have to share with the kids
As much as I have tried to control this behavior it still rises it ugly head from time to time. I just try not to beat myself up to much over it as this just makes it worse and the cycle gets even worse.
I exercise regularly and try to watch what I eat most of the time
Sue
“Not self-loathing or self-pity, just total honesty and a genuine willingness to do and be different”
Not self-loathing or self-pity – got it
total honesty – and this one (I am fat because I eat too much food that is not good for me and exercise too little)
a genuine willingness to do and be different – nope. This one is my downfall. Still working on it though!
Hi, I would just like to add that if i had spent the last say 20 years focusing on a business venture… like i have had on trying to gain control of my eating habits – i would be a millionaire! although i have been successful in the battle of the bulge (at my goal for 10 years now) i find that food issues are so totally consuming of our everyday life and have a great impact on self worth and relationships. All that time and effort could be so better spent! Sad really
Ok. Yes, I have issues with food. Big ones.
Is there just one issue or are there several? I’d like to say “just one” but in all honesty there are way more than that. I’m talking emotional eating. I’m talking major carb cravings – bread, chocolate, crisps, cereal, ice-cream, flavoured milk, pastry coated junk, pre-packed sandwiches. I’m talking enough for 1-3 people depending on where I’m at emotionally. It’s not all of them every day but I’d say 2-3 of the above appear on my unwritten food diary list most days. A teeny weeny mitigator may be the hormones – I’m insulin resistant and may have polycystic ovaries (unconfirmed). My original hospital consultant suggested that I may have had both issues since my teens, maybe earlier. She basically suggested I’ve been pre-menopausal since I was 15/16yrs old.
Is it a constant or does it come and go? Constant. I don’t know what hungry is. I’m not sure what full is. I know what uncomfortable in my own skin is.
Do you over-eat? Do elephants have big ears? Of course I do. Some days I control it. Most days I don’t know where to start.
Under-eat? Yep, done that too. Every now and again I get so sick of food that I go whole days without anything then have the token small meal in the evening. This is a rarity though.
Is your issue minor or major? I’d say major. I’m at least a whole person and a bit over what is recommended.
Do you lie about it? Have you? I have done.
Does it have a negative impact on your emotional and mental states? Yeah, it does. I don’t like food any more, I just eat it. Most of the time I don’t want it, it’s just going into my mouth robot fashion. A lot of the time it doesn’t register that I’m eating because I’m nearly always doing other things – on the PC, watching TV, working, studying, messing around with my mobile phone.
Your life? Yeah, I’m missing my salsa classes! I haven’t been able to take part since January due to various weight related issues. I still drive and get around and I go to the gym for cardio sessions. I stop myself from doing a lot of things because I’m conscious of my size. Eating in public?? Do it if I have to but the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end when I do. Social anxiety and all that mumbo jumbo.
Relationships? Yeah, seeing those I care about in pain because I’m in pain ain’t fun.
Career? It did. I’ve been wanting to set up my own business for about 6 years. Until now I’ve been saying “When I’ve done this …”; “when I can do that …”; “I’m not ready to do this yet”; “how can I do this when …” – get the drift? I want to do things that benefit others. How can I do that when I find it a challenge to do things consistently to benefit myself? Now I’m going for it anyway. Once it is set up, it’s mine for keeps. I take it out of “dormant” status when I’m ready.
Is it worse in certain situations or under certain circumstances? Are there specific triggers? Yeah, people in the family speaking about the past. Whenever anything comes along that means something has to change aka not my choice.
Do you ever feel out of control? Weird? Ashamed? Yes, yes and yes again.
Are you ever preoccupied with food? Only when I’m awake – ditto!
Have you started and stopped a bazillion diets? Like… totally. Again, ditto. The most successful was Weight Watchers. I lost 103 lbs in 4 yrs, walked the London marathon in about 9.5 hrs then lost the plot. I got scared of the success and now I’m almost back where I started in 2003. Now I’m pissed off at the failure because I didn’t stay with the programme. After walking the marathon it was like “What next?”. There was nothing I could think of to help keep me motivated. Walking the marathon wasn’t about me. It was about raising money for a children’s charity (benefiting others).
Do you eat one way when people are around and another way when you’re alone? Yep. When I’m with people (especially at work) I skip the buffet food, don’t bother with the snack trolley or vending machines and sit with healthy food while they’re consuming sausage, bacon and egg baguettes, pastry slices, cakes, crisps, chocolate … Get out of the office and I’m heading straight to the petrol station for the things I’ve been choosing not to have all day. I eat healthy when around family. When on my own I eat convenience mostly.
What hidden chocolate? 99 % of chocolate is hidden! The odd mouthful is consumed when I’m around other people. Other than that, I’m alone.
Do you eat when you don’t need to? Yep.
Do you medicate with food? Yep. Food was a comfort tool when I was a child. It has stayed a comfort tool. when I’m ill, I crave chocolate and ice-cream.
Reward yourself with it? Used to all the time, sometimes still do. Now I’m trying to change the rewards – new makeup, a magazine or something like that.
Are you ever defensive about your eating habits? Have been. Frequently.
Now here’s the iffy factor. I’ve done diabetes care, basic nutrition and human biology courses. I’ve just completed a reflexology course. I have a certificate in social sciences. Now I’m onto anatomy and physiology. I was at Weight Watchers for 4 years. I’ve had a personal trainer, a life coach/NLP practitioner and a gym full of instructors encouraging me and offering their time and wisdom for free. I’ve currently got a reflexologist/nutritional therapist. I know the answers. I can help others but geez is it a challenge to kick myself to the top of the list and keep me there.
The little kid inside me fears change/thinks she’s protecting me by keeping things the way they are. She’s wrong. My best life is out there and it has my name on it. I want it. I’m going for it.
Sorry, long again. Maybe a little too revealing for my comfort too – you wanted honesty though …
I am recovering from Bulimia with the help of my mum and husband. I feel consumed by thoughts of food and try very hard not to binge because it makes me want to revert to old habits. I had one relapse after 7 weeks and now have been ok since which has been a further 3 or so weeks. I am 80kg and want to stay this weight forever, currently working on ways to make sure that happens without relying on binging and purging. It makes me happy (binging) then miserable afterwards and its something I am never going to do again.
It took a lot of effort to tell my husband and my mum but they have been helpful, men seem to have no idea but he is trying his best lol. Mum is always great to talk to when im having a crap food day.
Im trying my best and thats all I can hope for. I will never give up and get hugely obese ever again. it is something I will have in the back of my mind forever but there are worse things to deal with!
Only want to say – I wish everyone inner peace and freedom from their emotional food disorders…I think it can be a very serious issue and I wish any and all affected the very best.
Recovery can be slow, but I think it is very possible to ‘get to the other side’.
With love and hugs,
Mon ( )
Lol Louise, the guilt isnt worth it…
You know, our qualifications and labels don’t preclude us from anything. I was a 140kg PE teacher. Oxymoron? Yes. Everyone told me I carried my weight well because I’m 5ft10. So not true. When I see pics of me back then, I’m so ashamed. I always felt like I was providing a good role model for young girls because I wasn’t one of “those” PE teachers – you know, skinny, blonde, bimbo-ish. Boy oh boy was I in denial.
Over the last 2 years, I have worked damn hard on my eating habits. I used to eat in secret all the time – drive by’s of McD’s and KFC, eating in the car…. and living alone made secret eating so easy. I remember one stressful week at work saw me down 4 family blocks of chocolate. But I was going to the gym so it was all good, right?
Wrong. 140kg tells me so.
But at 30, I was standing in the bank and could hardly hold my own body weight. I knew I had to do something, big time. And I did. I lost 64kg.
Being honest with myself takes time and effort. I record everything I eat and I still struggle to avoid hiding food by not adding it to my food diary. But you know, being open about food has truly changed me and while I haven’t been seeing a professional psych, working on my mental approach to food has helped. Will I ever get my head right? Maybe not totally, but I have a much healthier relationship with food these days and it’s helped me achieve a healthier body image, 23% BF, and fitness levels that allow me to achieve so much more than I ever thought possible.
Fantastic Laura, what an inspiring story!
Laura your story is amazing and you obviously have turned things around so much with positive thinking and self honesty. inspirational.
i had (god, honestly prob still have) the mindset where if I ran i could eat anything – which is why the weight didnt move but boy could i run! Im an anxious evening eater when the kids are in bed. must learn to turn brain off.
Can soooo relate to so many of these stories.
I am a fitness instructor who takes up to eight classes a week and am overweight….I constantly think about throwing in the job and giving it all up because I feel I am setting such a bad example to my clients. I am the fat fitness instructor.
My declaration of honesty today is that I ate 6 cup cakes for lunch when I started a twelve week challenge 2 days ago….not very motivated am I….for some reason I can’t get my head around actually starting..
Anyway I spent most of the day wondering what lies I was going to tell my feedback coach to get away with a failed first week! It can be very consuming to the point that I basically achieved nothing around the house etc. Who am I really lying to?
Will I ever be motivated and strong enough to really reach my goals.
Hmmm, thanks for your post Craig. I received it in my inbox and immediately thought it must have been written for me and how did you know I have a food issue??? Apparently we all (well, many of us anyway) do. I haven’t told a single soul about my food issue, because I feel a bit strange. But food scares me sometimes, especially when not made my me. I congratulate myself when I take the big step of eating a canape at a function without being overtaken by fear first, or can drink a flat white from a cafe without worrying if the milk is bad (and then worry that someone is going to notice my panic and think I’m a bit weird).
Maybe I should be honest with someone other than myself (I’ve only just started being honest with myself though) like you suggest and take some steps to overcome this issue. First I just need to work on the courage to do that….do you have a courage post? I’ll have to have a look.
Thanks Craig. I love waking up and getting your emails to start the day with.
Hi,
wow… this is brining tears to my eyes… My eating habits.. or binge eating has seemed snowballed as the years go by.. recently whilst shopping bought alarge packet of lammingtons…. started eating them as soon as i was in the car.. low and behold i get to the last 2 .. feeling full as but well i ate the rest may as well finish them… home and hide the packet from my partner.. recieve a text from him “where all lamingtons go???!!’ .. shit busted.. um fed them to the chooks… well you get the picture i felt imediate shame..
Sick of this and want it to go away.. eating when bored.. eating at work when not suppossed to be … eating late at night after work.. feel sick doesn’t stop that i just wanna eat eat EAT!!!
I have been reading a book on thoughts.. yes its only a thought … how do i put not acting on theis eating thought into practice.. i have a thought about going to the gym.. i don’t act on that… What gives..
I guess i’m angry with myself for not being able to fix this seemingly simple issue…
I need some help with this!!!!!!
thankyou craig.. for your straight talking and giving me somewhere to voice this ADDICTION where i know i won’t be judged……
Hey Craig. I think you are fantastic
Big fan.
I don’t think there’s a single woman I know who hasn’t had an issue with food, whether they admit to it or not.
My journey with food started when I was 15 and a boy on our school trip to China told me I was fat (I was wearing one of those passport belts under my Tshirt and I guess I looked a little protuberant). I then went on to lose >15% of my bodyweight by severely restricting my intake, and I got to the point where my hair was falling out and you could cut yourself on my pointy collarbones.
After about 6 months of that, I started bingeing and I rebounded up to about 15kg over my desired body weight, and stayed there for about seven years. I was so unhappy over that time, I fought a constant battle with myself and faced some very dark hours crouched over the toilet trying to make myself vomit coz I had just eaten enough food for the next 3 days in 20 minutes.
The reason I’m writing this is because I wanted to say that there can be recovery after the food demons get you. I’m happy to say, thirteen years later, that I have largely conquered my issues, and am at a weight I feel very comfortable with.
A couple of things that really helped me:
- eating meals with the people I live with (keeps you honest about what you’re putting in your mouth)
- preparing food (so that eating is not just an easy 5 minute drive-through but takes time and preparation and you feel proud of what you’ve made)
- and the most important and also the hardest thing was learning to love myself.
Getting your headspace right is the hardest and most effective way to control the food demons.
P.S. I saw that boy who called me fat again a few years ago, and he is now morbidly obese! I’m not sure if that’s karma…
It makes me really conscious if I see somebody I know and they say “My my, you have gotten big. What did you do” I mean come on, I’m not fat. My height is proportioned to my body weight.
Never let anybody tell you what you can and cannot do.
Hi all,
again like most of you this post absolutely strikes a cord with me and many of the posts I have read are so similar to what I have experinced myself. Things all began for me when I was about sixteen and recieved a comment from a guy suggesting I was crossing my arms to hide my rolls . . . I never thought I was fat and to this day I dont know if I really was or whether I was blinded by his comments and the fear of being seen as fat by my peers. I was always a very athletic kid playing every sport you could imagine but somewhere along the way I just started eating crap and it was catching up with me. I can’t recall the exact time I started my extreme dieting or why I chose to do it that way but after a week of restricting my food intake to eating only tea (mainly because my mum wouldn’t get suss on me because she would see me eating) I was losing weight and it felt easy . . . and so I continued this eating pattern for about 6 months and I felt fabulous! When I got to uni I was still doing the same thing (tea only) but this time my tea’s must have been high in calories because it wasn’t working for me the way it used to . . I tried laxatives and a few other things before changing my tea to a banana and yoghurt and three rice cakes with vegemite every night. I also made sure that I swam 1km a day and did 1 hour of weights each day . . . I was also playing basketball and netball week nights and weekends! This worked for me and I can’t remember being hungry or anything. When I got pregnant I immediately ate a balanced diet to have a healthy baby and seemed to do ok (I think the pressure was off because I had a reason to be fat). After her was born I lost weight the healthy way, then put it back on and then went back to eating only one meal a day . . . and alas I was back to a weight where I felt comfotable and happy! Pregnancy number two saw me indulge and almost binge my way through the whole thing . . child born, healthy while breast feeding then again one meal a day. Third pregnancy was ridiculous, I think with the restrictions I was placing on myself I used pregnancy to eat whatever like there was not tomorrow just in case I decided to starve myself again. After my third child I was disgusted with the way I looked and joined weight watchers . . . I lost 30kg in about 16 weeks and was the skinniest I had ever been, just eating right and walking each day . . . . but that only lasted about a year when I fell pregnant again!! Yes fourth time!! This time I started out with bad eating patterns then something happened and I told myself I was not going to feel that way again and so I changed my eating and felt good through the pregnancy and afterwards . . . though I still wanted to lose 10-15kg. And so I embarked on another weight loss journey, only this time I was doing it the right way . . . over the course of the year I managed to lose those 13 – 15kg, but again started putting on, got embarrassed and ashamed, starved to try to hide it, then binged due to starvation!! I have hovered at about the 70-75kg mark for the last 4 years, sometimes emabarking on a new program and getting down to around 66kg but unable to maintain it. I am so completely over these feelings and I often find that I would rather not eat because it is easier for me not to eat than it is to eat and actually control what I am eating through the day. There have been times when I have lived off nothing but a bowl of low joule jelly and diet custard for tea . . . and it was ok because I was full and I didn’t have to think about what I was eating. I know that my body needs all sorts of things nutritionally and more so if I am exercising, but it doesn’t change my actions, sometimes that makes me feel even more guilty. I am an educated person, I know what to do and how to do it . . . but I just can’t seem to get myself off this roller coaster. Sometimes I truly feel trapped, and would give anything to get out . . . I am prepared to work hard and get uncomfortable .. . I train with a PT three times a week, play netball twice a week and run in between, yet I constantly battle with food. I would glady eat nothing if there weren’t such bad health ramifications, food causes me grief, grief I could do without. But here is the dilema . . . I could reduce my intake but then I have no energy to do a good work out (which I love) and so I am faced with another issue . . . finding the balance between what is nutritionally enough on an average day and what I need to reach my fitness and body shaping goals??? AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!
Craig I think that I need you to come and live with me for a while . . I mean that with the best of intentions!!
I loved this article. Simple, to the point, honest. I’m a uni student and have always been at a (reasonably) healthy weight. An active lifestyle and sporadic fits of eating well have always seemed to keep me at a normal weight. BUT I have food issues. My family are all overweight and there are constantly unhealthy treats in our house.
I had a wonderful beautiful six months three years ago where I was training for the City to Bay when I was 7 kilos lighter. I was eating at an 8 or 9, LOVING running and treating my body so well. I felt amazing. Not coincidentally it was during that six months that I met and fell in love with my boyfriend.
Several injuries, a bout of glandular fever and a stressful and time consuming part time job have all contributed to make it feel harder and harder to eat well and exercise. To deal with stress I have fallen into the habit of binging on chocolate bars at home, in my car, at work, at uni, pretty much everywhere.
For me, although it is about a bit of weight loss it’s more about wanting to get back to that incredible feeling. I’m tall so 7 kilos either way on my body doesn’t have dramamtic effects. Having said that I’d probably be more comfortable in my jeans if they disappeared.
Now to put down the chocolate and lace up those runners…