Hi Groovers. Thanks for all your kind words re Friday’s post. Ya’ll made me feel a little spesh-tacular.
Do I Have To?
The other day I mentored someone who needs to lose a few kilos/pounds. Quite a few. When I asked about her current weight, she told me she didn’t know. I suggested that I could weigh her before she left. She was thrilled with that idea.
Not.
“So, what’s your current weight?”
“Not sure.”
“Okay, no problem, I can weigh you before you leave.”
“No.”
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t really want to be weighed.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to know how much I weigh.”
“But you weigh what you weigh; avoiding the scales won’t make you lighter, just less informed and more deluded” (always the diplomat and smooth-talker).
“Well… okay… I’ll get on but don’t tell me what it says.”
“Why not?”
“It will depress me.”
“It can’t depress you, only you can do that.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just a number.”
“A terrifying number.”
“It only has the meaning and power that you assign it. If you label it terrifying, it will be – but that’s about you, not the number. On the other hand, if you de-emotionalise it and call it something simple and practical like ‘the starting point of your weight-loss journey’ that’s what it will be. Stepping onto the scales today is simply a matter of collecting some pre-program data so that we can objectively and numerically evaluate the efficacy of the program as we go…. or it can be a major drama.”
“Well… err…”
“If your primary goal (at this point in time) is weight-loss, then it’s a good idea for us to know your starting weight before you embark on any type of change process.”
“I guess so….”
The good news is that we did weigh her and the number was lower than she had expected.
Phew.
As you might imagine, I have had a version of that conversation many times. Hundreds. Naturally, I’m more interested in a person’s body composition (how much fat and muscle they have) than I am about their weight but stepping onto some scales at regular intervals (once a week – not fifty times a day) is still a worthwhile exercise when weight-loss is the primary objective.
Interestingly, this kind of irrational and evasive behaviour is not limited to the realm of physical transformation. We can compare this “not-getting-on-the scales” example to many areas of our day-to-day lives.
$$$
We do a similar thing with our finances. We keep loading up credit cards with things we want but don’t really need (kind of like what we do with our body and food) and then we avoid the mail box (as we do the scales). We also avoid those nasty envelopes with the little windows because we don’t want to see those numbers either.
Relationships
We do it with relationships too. As our relationship crumbles around us (becomes less healthy), we continue to find new and exciting ways to distract ourselves and to not ‘look at the scales’ (so to speak). It appears that many of us would rather wait for the ‘relationship heart-attack’ before we decide to open our eyes, acknowledge what’s happening and take some kind of positive action.
Career
And, of course, we do it with our career. We keep hoping it will somehow magically fix itself (good luck with that). In truth, many of us are not really prepared to take charge, step into reality (step onto scales), makes some tough decisions, take total responsibility and do what’s required to create positive shift in our professional life. So we compromise and tolerate… all our way to misery.
Life doesn’t get better, you do.
Is it time for you to ‘step on the scales’ in any area of your life? 
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Confucius says, “If you stick your head in the sand, your you know what is fully exposed and vulnerable to having a boot planted on it”.
Such words of wisdom…
Hi Craig,
it always blows me away that you send through articles that seem to fit with my life… I was just thinking about a lot of areas of my life that need evaluation… My career is one of those… and finances… I spend a lot of time trying to ignore the fact that we spend too much and save too little… not wanting to step on those scales and take responsibility for the things that I CAN change…
cheers
Tara
I’d be interested to know if there is anyone else out there who is obsessed more than me about weighing myself, minumum a day 5. Morning, before exercise, after exercise, after dinner, just give me a reason. This will determine what I eat and what exercise I will do for the whole day. It will also determine my moods. But I’m afraid to stop looking, because we all know what happens.
‘A terrifying number’ – in my case a phone call or text
My relationship is crumbling, my lights have been on but no-body has been home. I have been selfish and impatient. I have been out of control and hard to handle.
I need to change so that I can learn to let go and learn to trust myself. Can sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together? The last thing I wanted is a ‘relationship heart-attack’ for the other person. I think they were nearly at that point. My eyes opened yesterday and day 2 of positive action. I hope it is not too late.
HI Craig,
This reflects exactly the way i had been living my entire life in the past year. My career, my fitness, my relationship and my finances. I refused to ‘get on the scales’ with any of it. It was like enormous elephants in the room every time i had a moment to myself….i knew they were there and so did my friends and family but nobody could raie the issue without me attacking them. So i thought pretending none of it was happening would suddenly solve it all and my life would be wonderful.
I dont know how i slipped into that way of thinking but ‘getting on the scales’ was just too painful and hard. At least thats what i thought at the time. Now of course i am facing a LOT more pain and hard work. Why? because i caused a relationship, career and financial heart attack. Absolutely gut-wrenching experience.
My question to anyone out there is how the hell do you start feeling better? I finally HAD to get on the scales in all those areas and it has been hard but i guess i will come through it with a much better future ahead? At the moment i just feel like its never going to get better.
Heart attacks HURT. Any advice would be much appreciated
In the last 3 years I’ve managed to step on the scales in the areas you’ve mentioned above Craig. After weighing the debt issue and applying a strategy to get out of it, it has been a massive ‘weight’ off the shoulders to be debt free for over 12 months now.
Same for my health, realtionships and career. After facing the true weight of them all, it has been satisfying to achieve a more positive outlook in these areas.
The area I need to weigh now is mindfullness and I think I can always work on my relationships. At least we’re getting there. It feels like it anyway.
Hi there
I just finished reading the book “Law of Attraction” by Esther & Jerry Hicks recommended reading for Stormy bear. What I got from reading this book was that instead of living your life by default – you get out of bed, go to work, cook dinner, go to bed etc you give intention to each part of your day – segment planning. So when you wake up you say to youself what you want, you keep stopping before every new segment like driving to work with setting up your intention (what you want). I want to arrive safely at my destination, on time and with minimal hassel. Use your guidance system (which is your emotions) to tell you if it is what you want or something you don’t want. If you feel good its a yes if you feel bad its a no. On youtube if you type in Esther & Jerry Hicks Abraham there is allot of free advice. There is a good video with the example of paddling up stream when life would be so much easier if everyone went with the stream and basically went with the flow.
Cheers
Ange
Dear Ange,
Thank you very much for your advice re Esther & Jerry Hicks. I will seek out a copy of that book today. Many many thanks for that!
I knew i was deliberately avoiding the ‘scales’ but i just thought i could out-manouevre myself and by ignoring the bad it would be dminished. However as anyone who has been in this place knows all too well, it just makes everything get worse. So lesson learnt there i must say. I am now trying very hard to never let any situation in my life become so out of control that i am too afraid to even stare it in the face.
Cheers for such a supportive inspiring post Craig
Wow!
What an awesome post today CH, thank YOU:) as always a great way to get across a very poignant point for us all:):)
Incidentally, as someone who runs and trains ( at present consistantly!!)at home and outodoors (by myself) you mention “I’m more interested in a person’s body composition (how much fat and muscle they have)”
How can you work this out yourself? or can’t you?
Cheers
Karen in Perth (hurry up and come over to see us!:))
It may be hard to face reality but to ignore it is tantamount to boarding the Titanic.
I have just finished reading the book you mentioned in your website, the power of Now. It’s very interesting but stressful at the same time. Yet, there are many things in life you can control, like career and weight loss. But I am in a quest to search for a relationship and yet I feel so much gap between the Now and where I wanted to be. I feel very frustrated…..
Craig what an awesom and eye opening post. I tend to give up so easily when things get out of contorl, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Something that has helped me crazy bear is that going forward their is a light at the end of the tunnel and if you can look at moving forward as an adventure instead of painful it wll help lighten your heart and mood.
Love to all, Sandy
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