A Slave to Food

The Things we Do Around Food

In all my years as an exercise professional, gym owner and university lecturer, I have met very few people who have zero food issues. It might be some quirky little food “thing” or it could be something much more sinister, debilitating and hidden. It’s always hidden. For a while anyway. It is my experience that many people who think they have no food issues, have issues. Of course the term issues could mean anything from a very minor case of ‘dis-ordered eating’ to – at the other end of the scale – a very serious eating disorder. I spoke to a woman recently who eats very well (that is, a healthy diet), except for the fact that she can’t eat if someone is watching her. At all. She feels totally self-conscious and uncomfortable (which manifests in anxiety), so the vast majority of her eating is done alone. Which must make dinner dates a bitch.

The Chewing Clock

Then there’s the guy I worked with a few years back who times his chewing. Each mouthful must be masticated (yep, a word) for a minimum of thirty seconds. He prefers forty five. He has a special ‘chewing clock’ on the wall of his kitchen and if he doesn’t give each mouthful the attention and time it deserves, he worries that he’ll give himself bowel cancer. No, I’m not making this stuff up. I probably should tell you about the bulimic dietician I worked with who spent her week days treating people with eating disorders, but I won’t. She could help others but not herself. Then there’s the dancer friend of mine (a fifty kilogram girl) who would regularly eat a large jar of peanut butter (over seven thousand calories) in one sitting and then put herself to bed for twelve hours. The next day she would get up and run twenty five kilometres (fifteen miles) and avoid food for at least twenty four hours. There’s also the lawyer who would regularly eat two litres (half a gallon) of ice-cream in the car on the way home from the supermarket and not so dramatic but interesting nonetheless, is the guy I know who eats three poached eggs on toast with sauce (ketchup) for breakfast every day of his life. Will not eat anything else. I could also discuss the thousands of people I’ve spoken with who lie about their eating habits in order to fit in, be accepted and avoid criticism, but I won’t do that either. Oops. Just did.

Have Scales, Will Travel

I once worked with a bloke who has to have cake or cookies every night (of his life) before he goes to bed; a minor case of dis-ordered eating. I also mentored a guy who fantasized about his dinner for most of the day; not an hour passed where he wasn’t thinking about, or planning, his evening meal. He told me it was the highlight of his day. Then there’s the girl who (still) obsessively weighs and records every single thing that goes into her mouth. No matter where she is, she has her digital scales with her. If she can’t weigh it, she won’t eat it. The amount of self-created stress that surrounds her eating is difficult to comprehend. At the moment I’m working with a twenty seven year-old woman who has the most severe anorexia condition I’ve ever seen; and I’ve seen plenty. If I told you her bodyweight, you wouldn’t believe me. For obvious reasons, I can’t. When we finish our weekly session (basically a therapy session) I have to lift her up from the chair because she doesn’t have the strength to do it herself.

Then There’s Himself

Yep, me. I have had food ‘challenges’ for most of my life. I know you thought I was perfect, sorry ’bout that. Coming from a background of teenage obesity, low self-esteem and the “Jumbo” label, I was always gonna be predisposed to (the possibility of) some kind of food issue. Or ten. While my mindset and food behaviours are relatively healthy these days, that hasn’t always been the case. There have been times when I have made poor food choices (or simply eaten too much); which is why I found myself weighing one hundred and seventeen kilos (257lbs) around the time of my thirtieth birthday. There have also been times when I have been so strict, so disciplined, so controlled and so uncompromising (at 79kgs / 174lbs), that my healthy objective (to eat optimally) had turned into an unhealthy food obsession. As I said in my book Fattitude:

“Discipline is when we’re in control and obsession is when we’re out of control.”

The Manic Mind

In my twenties I went through years at a time where I would not allow myself to eat anything that didn’t meet my incredibly strict criteria. And I mean incredibly strict. I would actually panic if I thought I was going to be put in a situation where I might have to eat something that wasn’t on my ‘list’ (like being at someone’s house for dinner for example) . When the thought of eating a single M and M freaks you out, your discipline has morphed into obsession and your healthy goal has become an unhealthy mindset. It freaked me out because I doubted my ability to eat ‘one’ of anything. So none was always my option.

The Window Licker

These days I ‘eat well’ (I hate that expression) most of the time and allow myself a little cheesecake or peanut butter periodically, but to be totally honest, managing my food (and my thoughts around food) has always been one of my biggest challenges and probably always will be. I live on a busy street one hundred metres from a cheesecake shop. Of course I do. It’s actually why I bought my house. Every time I walk past that shop (which is often) I seriously consider going in to buy something. Not sometimes, every time. I rarely do it, but the idea is always there. I can stand at that window and lose five minutes of my life in a world of orgasmic possibilities without even being aware of what I’m doing.

“Hey Sally, isn’t that Craig Harper licking the window of the cheesecake shop?”

What’s a little drool between friends?

There’s a million shops on my street and I don’t even know what most of them sell. It’s not really important to me. Apparently I have an inbuilt cheesecake radar; it operates independently of my conscious self. Clearly I have a way to go.

If you have food challenges, then come back tomorrow because we’re going to take a look at how we can identify and deal with those challenges psychologically, emotionally, physiologically and practically.

Ciao xx

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