Once a fortnight (or so) here at me-dot-com, I walk to the back of the cyber-classroom and hand over the teaching reins and coach’s whistle to you, my readers. Today is that day. Keep in mind that you don’t need to be a guru, genius or expert to teach the rest of us something (I’m none of those things, so there’s your proof). No, you just need to be willing to share your thoughts, ideas, opinions and experiences.
The Cerebral Minefield
Lately, I’ve been thinking about not thinking. Ironic huh?
I know we’ve opened the door on this conversation before but recent experiences tell me that it’s a subject which needs to be discussed, explored, dissected and re-visited on a semi-regular basis. It’s become apparent (to me) that, for many of us, our cerebral landscape is more often a chaotic warzone than it is a relaxing tropical island.
The Non-Thinker
While I consider myself to be a deep thinker and cerebral cat (on occasion), I gotta say, the ‘me’ I enjoy hanging out with more and more these days is the non-thinking version. The one who just is. The one who tends to freestyle in the dimension beyond logic, analysis, planning and ego. The one who doesn’t need to reason, filter, judge, interpret, explain or perform. The one who is happy to feel without thinking. And the one who is happy to have an experience without needing to give that experience a label or meaning.
Of course, thinking is a necessary part of being human and, of course, being able to rationalise, process, choose and interpret is an amazing gift that brings with it incredible scope, potential and responsibility. However, it (thinking) is not always where happiness lives.
While we should celebrate and appreciate our ability to reason, the truth is that sometimes it’s our propensity to think too much, that leads us to a place of stress, anxiety, misery, depression and social disconnection. All too often, we create problems out of thin air. We turn small issues into major catastrophes. We lose perspective. And control. We hand over our power to situations, circumstances and other people. We let fear determine us. Then we try to think our way out of it all.
And the cycle continues.
“Situations don’t create anxiety and misery, we do.”
The Cost of Over-Thinking
It seems that I work with (coach) a disproportionate number of over-thinkers. Or, maybe it just feels that way. Nonetheless, the over-thinking life is an exhausting one for not only the person living it but also for those in their orbit. Living with (or near) such a person can put significant strain on relationships – be they personal or professional. And while the habit of over-thinking seems to be a largely mental issue, it actually brings with it numerous emotional, physical and even, sociological consequences.
Thought doesn’t operate in isolation.
So… to think or not to think? When? How? How much? Should we consciously not think (at times) or is that a ridiculous and impossible concept? An oxymoron even? If we’re consciously not thinking then surely we must be thinking because thought lives in the conscious realm.
My brain hurts.
So, my questions for you:
1. How can we escape the cerebral chaos?
2. What has worked for you?
3. How do you know when it’s time to hit the ‘off’ switch? What are the signs?
4. Where does happiness live for you? The thinking? The doing? The feeling? All of it?
5. Random thoughts on the topic?
As always, feel free to answer as many (or few) questions as you like.
A Free Coaching Session
In order to coax some of you scaredy-cats out of the cyber-darkness, today I thought I might give away a cool gift. So, for the comment which floats my boat (the most), I will give a thirty minute health/fitness coaching session with yours truly (normally $150.00) via the phone, Skype or – if you live in Melbourne – face to face. This offer is open to my international readers providing you have Skype access. Also, the winner (not really the right word but you know…) will have the option of giving the gift to somebody who they feel would benefit from a little getting-in-shape (type) coaching from me.
Such fun! 
x
Love this article? Sign up for my FREE Email Newsletter today to receive more articles like this, and my FREE Ebook!
Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.
{ 12 trackbacks }
{ 47 comments… read them below or add one }
I find that when I do too much, I don’t really think – whereas when I think too much I don’t really DO.
I’d rather do the “do” first and leave the thinking until my body is tired of “doing”. That way my thinking is clearer, my jobs are done, and I have earnt the right to daydream.
btw did you get the invite to the ODs get together this Sat nite? Ask Gregg if you haven’t.
Sorry but I don’t see this as a bad thing except when it causes analysis paralysis, I wait to hear what others say because thinkers seemed undervalued in society.
I have found that to me there is two types of over thinking.
Both can have negative or detremental effects,
The First is the straight negative. You ask your self questions repeatedly and think about the myriad of possible answers Eg; Why does this always happen to me? If I say this to her how will she react? I need to tell them what I think but I dont want to offend them, how will I do that,then what will they think of me, can we still be friends after that?
Then there is the Positive Negative; This is my big down fall, I work as a gardener, I see areas that are badly neglected, I tell my boss that I want to clean them up, Whilst I am doing the work, the mind starts racing. I think creativly (The positive) I work and think about what I am going to create at the same time. The work keeps happening and the thinking goes on, Then (The negative) in my creative excitment I have spent more time on the job than was allowed, I blow the materials budget and have over produced the job.
What works for me now is simple self questions with yes /no answers. Have I kept the job in budget, have I given the client what they want, have I been creative with out being masturbative?
I find the time to hit the “OFF” switch is 2-3 am when your head is going faster than a steed down the home straight at Flemington!
grab a pen and paper write down your question then with out thinking write your gut feeling as the answer immediatly. Thats your answer. NOT negotiable to change go to sleep!
I find happiness in being creative in my work and involving the client to add thier creative input, then I do the work, they are happy which makes me feel happy, content etc.
Random thoughts, Hmmmmm! let me think about that
I am very much an introvert. I have a tendancy to daydream, can easily catastrophise and dwell in introspection. There can be a lot going on in my head, you can say it’s where I have lived many years of my life. Overthinking of course comes with the territory.
I know I have overdone it when I begin to feel overwhelmed by too much information. It causes feelings of anxiety and a sense of brain claustrophobia. It’s amazing how the mind can affect the physical self. When this happens I snap myself out of it by telling my mind to ‘stop’. I then focus on the present moment and practice deep breathing.
I find I am the happiest when I am enjoying the moment and taking in what’s around me. My mind is clear, and all I am thinking about as I stroll around the crowded CBD at lunchtime, is how beautiful the sunlight looks through the trees. I feel relaxed and that takes me away from the cerebral chaos.
I do think I think a lot. My mind is usually abuzz with lots of stuff – everything from analyses of the day’s – or past – events; planning tomorrow’s events, verbal diarrhea and other mindless chatter. Most of the time, it’s semi-controlled chaos in here
Stressful events, however, can really send me off the planet.
There are two things I use to help combat the mayhem. Exercise and journals. Most of the time, the first 10-20mins of exercise is pretty noisy but it soon eases. It’s like things get dealt with and filed away. Either that or the endorphins just numb the thoughts. Journals / blog entries can help me consciously work through problems and issues and since I’m a Virgo and like planning things (sheesh), I can come up with solutions and strategies that I may, or may not, employ. I prefer using the exercise method though, especially when it gets me out into the fresh air – so many more benefits!
It’s unusual for my mind to be quiet but I do enjoy those times. In training for this half marathon, the long runs are proving the biggest and most effective strategy. Last Sunday’s run (19km) was the quietest 2hrs of my life! Even with the ipod on in the background (the music tends to drift away) It allowed me to enjoy the scenery, the cool, crisp morning air and really connect with my physical self.
You’ve got me.
Last time the “best” answers lost, but this time it’s about over-thinking, so maybe the most thought-out answer “wins”…I know I’m an over-thinker, and I’d like not to be, so I want to “win”, but how much am I prepared to think about this?
When paranoia sets in (“He’s toying with us – or possibly even me”), it’s time to call it a day, and try and switch the brain off spin cycle. I’m going for a swim. (Still thinking though – drat!).
Like Michael, I’m interested to see how everyone answers.
Great comments here today as always!
If my thinking starts to dwell on the negative, irrational, what if type scenarios that lead to highly unlikely, catastrophic situations, I do try to stop that line of thinking. Yes, bad stuff can and does happen, but then dreading it and thinking about constantly is highly nonproductive. That kind of thought pattern leads to sleepless nights, high stress and misery.
However, if I get into a positive, creative, productive line of thought, then that’s wonderful and I’ll follow it as long as I can.
Sometimes, it’s great to give your mind a break and I really like some of the Eastern philosophies on meditation, clearing the mind of thought (surprisingly hard, that), etc. I love getting outside to wander around in the great outdoors, to me anyway, that is such a mind cleanser and refresher/recharger. Simply sitting outside, listening to the wind blow, the birds chirp, etc. is wonderfully relaxing to the mind.
Hey Craig !
In a word…. meditation ! It works wonders. To spend 15 or 20 minutes just “being” has the most calming, invigorating effect. Even my non-relaxing hubby has been able to master the art of sitting still, in silence, for long enough to realise its benefits. Yes, the thoughts do still pop into the mind, but acknowledging them without dwelling upon them gives a sense of freedom and clarity that is truly refreshing !
{{HUG}}
Tina
I have learned not to think to far ahead. While we need to way up consequenses, we don’t need to ask the what ifs. It can be such a killjoy to try and think it through the next three years of our lives. I’m tierd of missing and enjoying opportunities in the now because I’ve been caught up in exploring a future I can not possibly predict. Take today, live it to the full. And when you wake up in the morning, do it again
This is one of my biggest problems I think. (Pun intended, hee hee!) But seriously, I am constantly thinking about the future and how I’m scared and then I think about the past and all my regrets. I’m hardly ever just HERE, in the moment. But in those few and far between moments….there it is. A little peace.
I usually feel that peace after listening to someone who is inspiring or reading something that hits home. (Thanks Craig!) Or after a good workout where I have to quit thinking and just work hard. Or when I sit and close my eyes and listen to the wind blowing through the leaves on the trees. But as soon as the moment is over – back to being stressed and worried and thinking of all that can go wrong. Gotta learn to make those peaceful moments last!
So I’m trying to learn to meditate. That is my plan B since the Xanax isn’t working that well…… :/
Over-thinking, to me, is just like any other “Overism” (if that’s a word): Over-eating, over-drinking etc, but I still do it without much thought (no pun intended) of the consequences.
Problem is, my thought patterns are usally negative. I know that thought alone never solved a problem and it’s the getting off the behind that usually results in something, whether good, bad or indifferent.
I feel spending too much time in the mind prevents me from exploring this amazing place we live on because of the fear that something mundane will happen. I dread the outcome of expecting fireworks and explosions and seeing only another dark cloud. Sometimes, its easier to accept that there is nothing worth looking for, thus I avoid disappointment, clever huh?
Over-thinking inspires paranoia, hypochondria and isolation FACT!
It doesn’t make one wind-swept and interesting and the romantic belief that deep-thinkers are in touch with the human condition is FALSE. I want to be happy more than I’ve ever wanted to be rich and I would spend a vast fortune if it was on sale. I’d buy it by the truck load.
If I knew how to just “DO”, I wouldn’t be wasting my time trying to find catharsis in writing my way out of a slump, but hey, it stops me from thinking.
Overthinking is my middle-name….so much so that I have been back and forth between an elated and depressed state for the past 8 years. Just when I think I have it under control, I start thinking up the next thing. I’m only truly happy and not over-thinking when reading, drawing, walking outside and exercising. Anything that focuses on the physical task at hand can pull me out of my head and just let me ‘be’. Meditation also sounds interesting, I think I might try that. I feel like I haven’t been present in a lot of my conscious life, and daydreaming is not seeming like an extension of overthinking..I think.
I believe that a lot of people confuse thinking too much, with thinking about too many things at the same time. Focusing on one thing at a time, helps to quiet the mind and lower the stress, some feel.
My habit is to write on 3X5 card, a positive question that will lead me to some desired ideas. I carry the card with me, until I have enough probabilities that I can move to a critical thinking stage. I use this method to write articles and to seek out ideas for whatever project I am currently working on.
Then I let my mind wander, daydreaming of possibilities.
There is no over-thinking if you are excited about the possibilties.
Thanks for raising this topic Craig. I am one of these people. I overanalyse things to death in every facet of my life and it has been one of the most destructive things you can ever imagine. I am a critical thinker and at times this can be extremely useful and necessary in terms of getting a job done to a high standard. However…………there is a MASSIVE difference between being a ‘thinker’ to being someone who is totally consumed and driven by their need to always get everything absolutely perfect and CONTROL everything in their lives, in and around them. I never knew i was one of these people and argued that i was just a perfectionist and Type A personality and very self-driven and that other people just ‘didnt put enough thought into things’. However when it got to the point of destroying my relationships and overtaking my whole life i realised something was very wrong with this scenario.
I ended up having a meltdown of mammoth proportions and had to seek professional help with my issues of ‘overthinking’. Its been really enlightening to explore this in detail and i am only now coming to understand the enormous impact (negative) that it has had on my life.
I am learning to ‘turn off the switch’ with specific strategies such as deep breathing and recognising the early signs of heading into one of these out of control mind chaos situations then actively removing myself from the situation BEFORE it explodes and ends up giving me a brain meltdown from over-activity.
Its a really big problem that so often just gets brushed away or written off as ‘overthinking’. I am now havng to learn to live a new way of being….one that is much more ‘quieter’ and far less ‘chaos’. Thanks Craig
It’s not always about you. That’s what I say when I ponder why texts aren’t returned, moods swing or emails ignored. The more I remind myself that everyone has reasons outside of my sphere of vision it helps me relax. I influence what I can and try very hard just to accept that the reasons, thinking, or completely irrational (to me) actions of some people I will sometimes never understand. And that’s ok.
I overthink when I’m bored, when I’m busy I’m prone to not thinking. I think the overthinking is better because I eventually come to the realisation that I am overthinking and that whatever will be will be as long as I put the right energy and attitude into it.
Overthinking itself can lead to my emotions going all over the place, but once I identify what I’m doing I get myself back on track and that makes me happy. Also finding out that my over-thoughts are wrong makes me happy (weird thing to say I know)…- it reminds me that I’m human and that other people are too!
Not sure if I’m and over thinker, maybe I am, or maybe I just think I am??
I love pondering ideas, possibilities, my future and challenging the world we live in. This I don’t find stressful, it’s a nice positive thinking..
The negative thinking however I escape that total world of confusion by taking less notice of the first part of the conversation in my head.
You know how it goes, something is thought, then you respond to that thought, then a conversation has started and spiraled.
Now after the first thought I just accept that I had it and that’s it. Stops the spiral for me. (most of the time anyway)
I love just having fun in the world, acting like a goose for no apparent reason (Child, Yes hehehhe). I don’t have to think about it it comes naturally. (Allow the natural flow)
I feel more at ease when I am having fun, doing what I am “passionate” about or what I love (2 different things to me) then my thinking is less if not null.
I decided that as best I can I am not going to waste my energy thinking about stuff that really has no relevance. If in my creative pursuits I have stopped having fun in the process then I slow that pursuit and get back to something fun.
If I am not enjoying the journey then I don’t see the point? The feeling behind/beyond the thinking is becoming more and more important to me.
I also believe learning who you are and the way you operate helps here, I you used to over think my future trying to work out what the picture looked like. I know a lot of leaders say you need a clear vision to head towards, I don’t have that.
What I do have is the things that I love doing and what I am passionate about and snippets of what I want to happen, I am following that.
I picture my brain as a recording studio and ME as the controller sitting at the desk. This seperates ME from my thoughts which in turn allows me to play with the volume when i need to and hit the stop button when an unhelpful thought gets stuck on repeat. It also means I can re-record with more positive thoughts for challenging moments.
I know this probably makes me sound like a loony BUT it works and now I get the creature comfort of enjoying the silence when I need to.
The trigger for me when i need the silence is my body tells me physically. Its like my energy is trapped and I feel anxious. Then I know its time to empty my SPAM folder in my head and start fresh. Not only has this helped me considerably with my stress levels and wellbeing but it has also been a dream come true for my family who know don’t suffer along with me in my mood swings.
Cheers
Charlie
I am a big ‘over thinker’. And for me it can be detrimental in certain situations. With some new ideas over thinking (aka ‘planning’) can be a procrastination tool. In other cases so much planning occurs I am bored by the time the doing is meant to start.
So I have learned to be selective in what I spend time planning and thinking about.
A new exercise regime is something I need to just do with minimal ‘planning’.
Cataloging my book collection or sorting my DVD’s by colour I can ‘plan’ for as long as I want!
I also try to experience instead of commentate where possible. I tend to have a commentary running in my head rather than just being. Social events, massages, exercise etc I make a specific effort to switch of the commentary and just experience.
Hi Craig (and everyone!)
The day I learnt about ‘Looping’ and how to deal with it was a good day.
Looping is when those thoughts that pop in and out of your head during the day just keep on popping in and out, at random and unuseful times, and just keep multiplying! It’s quite a natural function of the brain, and funnily enough we have asked our brain to do it for us, as annoying as it is, and probably without realising it.
“I must remember to….” “I should really call…” “That cupboard really needs a clean out…” “I wonder what dad’s up to…” “Sh*t I really need to find time to do my tax…” “I should really go to the doctor about that…” etc etc etc
So, a lot of our overthinking is happening because we are brewing it ourselves, and not managing it.
Think of your mind as a big messy spare room with all of the things you will ‘put away later’. Nothing really has a home, and doesn’t belong with the thing next to it. It’s still to be dealt with so it isn’t settled.
The only way to tidy up the spare room is to take notice of all of the things in there, sort them into piles, and do a bunch of actions to take them out of limbo land. Same goes with our minds.
Try this…
Step 1 – Sit down somewhere quiet with a blank notebook. Let whatever random looping thoughts happen, but as they do, write them down in the notebook.
Step 2 – Walk around your house looking at rooms and things, and wait for more looping thoughts to come to mind. Write them down. Think about your family members, and again wait for more looping thoughts to come to mind. Write them down. Do this for a range of areas of your life (friends, hobbies, health etc) and write everything that comes to mind down.
Step 3 – Tear out those pages from the Notebook and sit them on a table infront of you. Write the following headings on blank pages of your notebook:
Do this week
Do this month
Do this year
Ask someone else to do
Don’t do at all
Step 4 – With a blue pen, write in all of your looping thoughts you originally wrote down under one of your new headings in the notebook, leaving a blank line between each. If you find you need more headings, go for it, make up what suits you.
Step 5 – With a red (or purple or green!) pen, write a simple ‘first step’ for ‘how’ you will action each thing, in the line you left spare underneath each thought. It doesn’t need to completely solve it, and just needs to be a first step, eg “Call accountant”.
Step 6 – Once you have transferred and crossed off all of the looping thoughts you originally wrote down, tear up those pages into tiny squares and throw them away.
Step 7 – Add to your notebook pages whenever new looping thoughts come to mind (try and write them down as soon as they come if you can, or make a note to add them later). Refer to your notebook each day to see if there is at least one thing you can tackle to get it off the list.
You will have cleaned out your spare room (your mind) of clutter, and reassured your brain it is written down somewhere and will be actioned, so “thanks but no need for any more looping reminders!!”
Meditation is definitely still an important and highly useful thing to do in addition to this, and hopefully will be all the more effective with more room inside your mind to relax and just ‘be’.
You’ll be amazed at how much more chilled out you will become once it is not up to your mind to remember alllllll of those things you want/need to do.
Hope this helps you as much as it has me
Hello, I’m the classic overthinker
I may be young but I am learning that I can do some real damage when I let my brain run wild with worries. My lifestyle is unpredictable and while I love my job it is very stressful. My mother always taught me that fear is just False Evidence Appearing Real, that saying has always stuck with me. I live with a serious health condition and recently I have learnt the link between positive thinking and pain management and how manifestation works. Letting my brain switch off when I have a personal training session has been the greatest success over my over-thinking mind and I would encourage everyone to try it!
I’m always tending to overthink situations. I worry that I may have offended someone, been too friendly etc. etc. With work, I found myself getting a bit too attached.
My warning sign that I’m thinking too much about work is that I start having dreams about my projects and issues that I’m working through.
In the last year, I’ve taken up golf as a sport and I’ve found that its also pretty effective in taking my mind away from work. No matter how much I have on my mind, once I’m on the golf course, even if I’m by myself, all I think about is the next shot, work gets forgotten.
Hi all,
I too am a classic overthinker…always fretting about the future and over analysing things to the point of brain exhaustion. I find as I get older I am getting slightly better at controlling it.
1. How can we escape the cerebral chaos?
Focusing on our own breath…in and out, in and out…simple and has worked wonder for me.
2. What has worked for you?
Bikram yoga! I REALLY relax my mind and focus on the “here and now” when I am practising it, the class is challenging and strenuous and to get through it I HAVE to focus on breathing, it forces me to. I find I leave those classes feeling relaxed, proud of my achievement and ready for the day ahead.
3. How do you know when it’s time to hit the ‘off’ switch? What are the signs?
When I lose the plot over trivial things and realise I am not having fun and enjoying life.
4. Where does happiness live for you? The thinking? The doing? The feeling? All of it?
Definitely all of it.
5. Random thoughts on the topic?
Trying not to think about it!
I need to learn to just go with the gut more, how many times have I had that initial gut reaction and then confuse and complicate the issue by thinking and thinking and thinking lol. Thinking of every other possible outcome, pathway etc only to realise at the end of it all when my brain is throbbing that the first gut instinct was the right one – sometimes after having followed that and sometimes not.
We live and learn.
I the Overthinker
My definition: Where the time and effort expended thinking about something (cost) far exceeds the benefit likely to be obtained by doing something.
So with that in mind and as I understand it we are a product of our genetics and experiences up to this point. What happens next is largely a choice combined with an open mind, some unlearning and thought.
For the time being lets disregard logic and bounded rationality and explore wombat’s world of overthinking. I shall call it entropy.
I think
society in general undervalues thinking and quality dialogue and debate. We focus a lot on outcomes and not the process….who won or lost, what score did they get vs. are they developing, improving. Perhaps a little more education in this area would see us tear down some of the norms that exist and create a more enlightened society.
Based on the definition above overthinking is generally bad / unproductive / negative but what the overthinking is about and how often it happens is relative to the decision or issues being considered. At least for me. Basically I spent more time overthinking big stuff than little stuff but paradoxically the little stuff becomes bigger the more I think about it. Case in point – getting a personal trainer. This was a huge issue for me but now that I have one and loving it I wonder why….
My ratio of thinking vs. doing suggests I’m a chronic overthinker….in Pareto terms I spend 80% of the time thinking and 20% doing … not with everything…but on the issues that I want to create the most change or I have become emotionally attached to. These are the areas where I am either going to be “uncomfortable” doing something or don’t have a lot of knowledge to make an informed choice. So I am learning that what causes the overthinking for me is uncertainty about what happens next !
When / Where it happens (symptoms)
It occurs mostly when I am isolated, withdrawn, feeling a little down or being around toxic people or environments too much. Further, worrying too much about myself instead of thinking of others and when I have a lot of things on the go and am not really organised as to how I will get them done. It’s not a depressive state but I find that when I am not around people I tend to drift mentally into the realm of entropy and generally end up hanging around for a while.
Escape…
Awareness. Recognise the symptoms and take action. Live in the NOW. For me taking photo’s of amazing scenery and engaging with nature on a physical level is a great way to clear my head. I like to really absorb the smells, the feeling of the wind, the temperature, the colours, the sounds and so on. If I am going somewhere I make sure I stop to smell the roses so to speak. Craig often mentions the airport…people observing is a very interesting pastime and much healthier than hanging around the bar in the rush to knock down a few before a flight. It works everywhere. Write things down no matter how random. Share thoughts with others. Spend quality time with positive energy people > that has an incredible effect as I learned recently.
Ultimately, my happy place is to have a good understanding of myself to recognise the signs of overthinking and have the ability to take corrective action in whatever form that is immediately. Still learning.
Entropy (read overthink) is a place of order and disorder where energy gets consumed, time is wasted and not a lot of productive stuff happens. Non decisions or non action from overthinking and procrastination have potentially just as devastating outcomes as taking action with uncertainty of what will happen. It’s a choice. When I look back in time I want to be able to say I spent more time doing than I did saying I’m gunna.
Next steps > try to combine something I love or like to do and something I need to do > take action and reduce the reasons to overthink…eg. Meditation and stretching or learning how to start a new business and talking to people who have done it.
It took me 3 1/2 hours and 2 drafts to post this! I’m not there yet but I’m working on it.
Good luck on your journey !
Hmmm. Overthinking. I’ve handed in my notice to the Overthinkers’ Club. They keep sending me little reminders in the mail saying ‘Haven’t seen you for a while …’ but there’s no way I’m going back.
I believe overthinking is something we have to permanently stop doing, not just take little respites by externally distracting ourselves.
Yes, we have to think (logically, consciously, analytically) to function in the world but if we’re overthinking an idea, situation, plan or interaction to the point where we are squeezing the very life out of it, then it’s time to stop.
Pondering is fun. Daydreaming is even better. If we allow ourselves to trust our instincts (often revealed by allowing our creative minds some airtime) then our exhausting, overthinking mind starts to look like a mouse on a treadmill by comparison – all show but no go.
Are you listening, Wombat? Stop overthinking! Follow your passion! Trust your instincts! You know what you need to do, just bloody-well do it.
Hugs to everyone.
Christina xxx
Just my thoughts….
1. How can we escape the cerebral chaos?
Learn to live in the “NOW’.
2. What has worked for you?
I have probably the last 5 years working on my ‘internal dialogue’. Dealing with negative thoughts and negative beliefs. Yes we need to do some planning for the future, but now I absolutely try to live in the now (Eckhardt Tolle – Power of Now). I try to live this every day. So much of my earlier life has been worrying about the future, worrying about thngs I couldn’t change, wondering about what might OR might not happen. So much so that I have probably missed out on many wonderful “life” opportunities. But I’m not worrying about that anymore… I’m getting on with today… See how it works.
3. How do you know when it’s time to hit the ‘off’ switch? What are the signs?
I was lucky I had severe depression (yes lucky) bought about through work stressors… I was able to get great help from some mental help professionals. My belief is that everyone should do CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). Totally changed my outlook. But it’s taken another couple of years to move on from that, and find MY direction with regards to overthinking.
4. Where does happiness live for you? The thinking? The doing? The feeling? All of it?
All of it. I love thinking, but I am aware that I (personally) can overthink. I love nothing more than a discussion with someone about, well almost anything… but I now love talking to people about how they think. Because I am “WELL” I love learning from others, it’s opened me up to so many different ways of thinking and thats great.
I also love doing … but I’m not quite so good at that … need more practice…
I love the feeling of thinking in dialogue with another, I love the feeling of thinking by myself, BUT I also LOVE the feeling of not thinking…. I’m just learning how to meditate …. different
I love the feeling of thinking about something I never thought about thinking about before ….. (he he) such as the Law of Attraction… a new thing for me … for me this is putting my thinking to work … but not really????
5. Random thoughts on the topic?
I’ve come from a very dark place ….. thinking too much about things that were not positive in my life which has changed my behaviour in away I didn’t like. I suppose what I’m saying is that if overthinking results in negative thoughts that impacts on your life that’s not good. But if you can change that around to positive thoughts then that may be a good thing. I find now I am far more open to different ways of ‘thinking’, things I may not have been open to before.
But hey, that’s just me, we are all so different, I suppose be open to different ways of thinking….
P.S. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be thinking …. maybe a different way of thinking is good for a change….
Sorry … I meant mental HEALTH (not help) professionals ….
Some comments were tongue in cheek (everyone should have CBT)
Guess what … thinking too much … Bye E
I think we are all probably guilty of overthinking at times – for me this tends to be when ‘life matters’ themselves tend to get chaotic.
One of the best things to ‘turn off’ the chaotic mind is to listen to music – music I know and love and can sing to. Once I’m ‘singing’ (or if people can hear; I sing in my head really loud) I can just ‘be’. I think this is where happiness lives – in just being. Everything changes. When your just being – for me anyway – nature is crisper and clearer, natural beauty stands out – a sunset, the sound of the birds, the rain on the roof or in the trees, the wind, the surf (if your lucky enough to be near the coast). Even people – in everyday circumstances – you can drive past an old man holding the hand of a young boy at the bus stop – my mind becomes a “naturalistic photographer” and snaps a photo which makes me smile at the image. What a simplistic but beautiful picture………Life is good !!
Hey guys,
I have been someone who has grown up thinking a lot about things, asking many questions of myself and really trying to understand certain things in depth. In the past i have no doubt been guilty of over thinking in every day life and i know from experience how dangerous excessive thoughts can be if they are not in some way controlled.
If you are someone who suffers from the ‘over thinking’ disease the best way i know how to clear space in the overactive brain and limit the amount of useless thoughts flying through the head is to create awareness and by living in the present moment. Just by being aware that we are over thinking, by taking a step back and trying to watch the thoughts going through your head and not let yourself get dragged in by them is the best way i have learnt to calm the mind and disassociate with my thoughts on a regular daily basis. It takes practise but by just seeing these thoughts and letting them fly through to the wicket keeper does wonders for your peace of mind.
Part of this awareness is being able to see those negative thoughts being either from past or from future. If guilt thoughts over the past or worry thoughts over the future are popping into your head then you can see these as alarm bells that your thoughts are becoming destructive.
There are numerous other ways that one can slow the incessant stream of thoughts; meditation, exercise, extreme sports, nature! But sometimes these techniques aren’t practical in our busy day to day lives so one needs to find their own way of creating space, living in the present moment and not being overrun by our thoughts
Happiness lies only within yourself and not dependent on lifes situations or events so for me its the internal feeling of being happy which is true happiness, because unfortunately we cant convince ourselves to be happy with our thoughts..
Cheers
Josh
This topic really hits a home run with me! I find that when I am talking and planning and THINKING about doing something I am far less likely actually DOING anything about it. When I actually just pick up and do something (like getting to the gym or eating well) I feel so much better, but its much less planned or thought out! Lately I’ve been DOING a lot more than PLANNING and its worked out really well.
Who am I?
Do I need to think about that?
Am I the thought? Am I a word? Am I the description I make from words?
I describe myself…is that the ‘me’?
Description implies comparison.
I describe myself in comparison to someone or something else.
Is that really me? Or if you describe me, is that really me?
How can the essence of me be a byproduct of thought and comparison?
My thought, my imagination can create an image. But such an image is only temporal, like the sun.
I want to flow with infinity at its whim,
I want to risk that immersion by letting go of the definite, the comparative, the anchored thought of me.
Thought is my anchor in this physical realm. Do I need my anchor?
Can I cast off my anchor of attachment and craving in this physical world?
What would I be if I gave it not a thought?
It is beyond description, beyond comparison, beyond my or any others thought.
I would just be.
Now that I think about it…..stop it!
Breathe and just be!
When I manage not to think anything (not without effort), but just sit and watch out of the window the scenery, I feel so free, calm and happy.
I am an over thinker. It’s been diagnosed! My grade 3 teacher told my mother I thought too much. I’ve carried this burden for many years.
I actually enjoy the conversation I have with myself a lot of the time. It’s comforting, and as myself and I have got older, we tend to agree with each other a lot more or at least be civil when we don’t.
I’d much rather be present and aware and reflective about my world and my experience in this life than the alternative, but thinking does not necessarily lead me there. Personally, my biggest problem is the disconnect from my body – from doing, being and sometimes from feeling. It’s quite easy for me to slip into. I’m a lot more at home in my head than I am in my physical being.
I have learnt to observe my thoughts more now, to filter the quality from the dross, recognise the repeat offenders and stay in the present. I have improved at turning the volume down on the constant chatter going on like a 24 hour advertising channel offering no value but plenty of sparkly distractions – good or bad (because you are really not okay as you are).
Neutral observation of the flow of thoughts is probably the most helpful technique for me. And a breakthrough moment? Just because a thought has popped in to my head does not mean it is true. I know! Hard to believe!
I think, therefore I am (Descartes)
If you don’t think you don’t exist.
Is overthinking the issue or, is underdoing the issue.
Everything in moderation will lead to an enjoyable life existance.
I question what thinking is, because I find most people are worrying rather than thinking. There is only so much energy to expend in a day and it’s, to me, how we use that energy. And I totally agree we need time out from thinking (and worrying), going over how everything can fit into the box we’ve defined for ourselves. For me, it’s playing with my children, losing myself in my work, seeing a movie, hanging out with best buddies with whom I can totally relax and be myself, but I think everyone has to find their own way to ground themselves.
@ littlejohn…. you should be published ! That was so poetic !
I think focussing on technique.. allows the now to take place..
Cheers Kate
You an overthinker, No, I don’t believe it.
Now I know why you love me. I am your second paragraph.
The one who just is.
Perhaps that is who I am also.
Love you mate, even though your an overthinker.
Hi Craig
A real, disciplined focus is what works for me.
Having an abiding intention of wanting to add as much value as practical between the ticks; for me it’s a matter of steering the thinking (which can be chaotic) toward a focussed outcome.
This can vary intensity from a gentle change in direction to a deliberate, forceful intervention to achieve an outcome.
Key to it is the understanding that a different way of going is a real option.
Best
John
I was overthinker. My favorite pastime was to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling, and think too much. My head sometimes hurt from this activity. After too much thinking, I would make lists of what I need to do, my concerns, possible things to go wrong, the works. I guess this is because I want guarantee in life, which I know there isn’t one. But overthinking makes me function well. I tried not to make myself suffer a couple of times; you see, in as much as overthinking keeps me sane, it also makes me suffer. I realized that things do not always have a formula behind it. I do not need to analyze every single detail because aside from getting a headache, my self-esteem slides down as well.
Anyways, I think I’ve managed to keep it down a notch and i find it very healthy. Though there are still times that I go back to that activity, at least I now that it’s much productive and healthy again to just let yourself go with the flow.
Allow me to share with you an article on Building Confidence and Stopping to Look for Guarantees in Life. I find this very interesting and helpful for those overthinkers like myself.
I think of myself as NOT an overthinker. I live with one and that’s enough for one house-hold. I find I do my best work subconsciously and I have learned to trust my inner voice. If it talks to me I go about my business but if it yells loudly I stop and listen, that’s when I take the reins back for a while and do some conscious thinking. I do spend a portion of each day allowing my mind to wander, which I call day-dreaming (others may call it something else) but I find it clears my inner mind to do the real work. I do trust myself, and find things almost always turn out for the best. I’m not sure how else to explain the way thinking goes on in my mind, but it works for me.
Maree.
In common with another poster I too have an overthinker in the house and have been prone in the past to do it myself.
I think the overthinker has to learn to hit the off button. Learn to realise when its productive to overthink, perhaps in the workplace and critical times in your life when a change of direction might need to be taken and alot of consideration needed of pluses and minuses of your decision.
When all you are doing is going from a small “what if” to bigger and bigger “what if’s” that are bordering on irrational, that big red OFF button needs an emphatic push!
A glass of water, some deep breathing and a walk often work for me. Its as simple as that and asking yourself the question seriously if what you are doing is making you feel good or making you feel sick and if its impacting on the people around you. Is your life enhanced or damaged by your overthinking? How many minutes of your life do you have left and do you really want to spend that time thinking and worrying about things that most likely will never happen?
Happiness in life for me has always been about connecting with other people, close bonds with family, and being able to have a true sense of peace. Its about being able to listen to a bird singing, watch new leaves unfurling on a tree, feeling the sun on my face…and still being able to marvel at the wonder of it all.
Whether all that is actually happening for me is another thing of course. But I would like to think that at the end of my life I will be able to look back and be satisfied that I achieved it.
3. How do you know when it’s time to hit the ‘off’ switch? What are the signs?
4. Where does happiness live for you? The thinking? The doing? The feeling? All of it?
5. Random thoughts on the topic?
Sorry, I accidentally left some of the questions at the end of the last post…
Thanks for your great thought-provoking posts, Craig. I’m a newbie – this is my first post, but I have been getting your emails for a month or so.
Over-thinking for me is when I become paralysed and unable to make any decision because my thinking just seems to take me around in circles. When I get to that point, strategies that work for me are:
1. Write it all down and put it away
2. Make a conscious decision not to think about it anymore
2. Go for a walk or swim – use my body
3. Try to practice “mindfulness” while I swim or walk – rather than letting those very annoying thoughts continue to go round and round (‘cos I’ve written them down now, I don’t need to think of them anymore). By mindfulness I mean focussing on each stroke, breath, kick as I swim, noticing how my body feels and my breath moves as I walk, taking in and really noticing what is around me (have you ever gone for a walk and can’t remember what you saw, because you’ve been so engrossed in your thoughts).
I love that feeling of just “being”, it feels weightless somehow.
Often after doing that I come back relaxed and refreshed and many times the decision (or whatever I’ve been over-thinking) becomes obvious to me.
I just have to remember to follow my own advice more often!!
i am an over-thinker i always deep-think things thru, but at the end when it feels like you become overwhelmed with too much ideas, and become overly complex, i stop, i rewind and think things simply..
that’s because all men naturally desire to know…
Teresa’s comments got me