Then and Now
When I was a teenager I thought thirty-somethings were dinosaurs. Fossils. Relics. Now I think they’re teenagers. In the eighties I wanted to be a hundred kilos of muscle and five percent body-fat. Now I’m more interested in finding the ultimate cheesecake. When I was a kid I worried about my non-catholic friends going to hell. The last time I went to mass was twenty eight years ago. I guess I’m over that. Once upon a time I wanted to please everyone. Not any more. At one stage, I thought I had pretty much figured out the whole God thing. I now realise how arrogant that was and how little I know. There was a time when I pursued society’s version of success. These days I’m more interested in my version. For a long time I chased happiness. Now I gratefully accept it. At one stage my life was full of problems. Now it’s full of lessons. For a while there I hated silence and solitude. Now I crave it. In my early twenties I thought that situations and other people created stress in my life. Now I know that I am the creator of stress. And calm. I once obsessed about what clothes I wore. Now I spend most of my life in ten dollar flannel shirts and army shorts. At one point in time, standing in front of an audience terrified me. Now it excites me. There was a phase when my body was my identity. Now it’s just where I hang out. Not long ago I had no idea what a blog was. Now it’s the vehicle by which you and I connect. The meaningless has become meaningful. But only because I made it so.
Opening the Door to Subjective Reality
It’s true to say that the world I inhabited in the eighties and nineties is not the one I inhabit today. And when I say world I am not talking about some physical place or point in time. Neither am I talking about our culture. Or economic climate. Or our collective mindset. Or societal standards. Or fashion. Or technology. No, I’m talking about the ever-changing landscape that exists inside my head. The world I create and the world I inhabit day to day. As I sit here alone in my home office, it is silent. There are no people and no distractions. Just me and my thoughts. But where I’m sitting right now is not my world, it’s my location; Craig’s office in Hampton, Australia. As you may or may not know, your house number and street name have nothing to do with where you live. The message I’m now sharing with you is coming from my world. My world being the place from where my creativity arises. My world being the filter through which I observe humanity, process information, consider my observations and interpret the behaviour of others. It’s my escape when the external noise is overwhelming. It’s the place where I can explore, listen, consider, choose, feel and create. It’s a world nobody can visit unless I invite them. It’s where ideas are born and dreams are turned into plans. It’s the one place where my singing sounds good, my jokes are hilarious and my body doesn’t ache. 
And while my world is the place where thinking happens, it’s also where I can escape thought and discover who I am beyond the cerebral noise. It’s the place where I can overcome fear and the place where I can transcend the sum of my life experiences in the physical world. In my world I have the capacity to overcome conventional wisdom and to explore who and what I might become beyond the self-imposed limitations, beyond the group thinking and beyond the weight of expectation.
My world is unique. As is yours. My world is self-created. As is yours. Knowingly or not. Intentionally or not.
The Stories we Tell
While I am influenced and impacted by the three-dimensional world in which physical me resides, I am not determined by it. I will create and inhabit my own reality because I have that choice and that power. As we all do. Every day people tell themselves stories which help them deal with, process, react to and understand certain aspects of their life. In other words, they manipulate their internal reality in an effort to help them manage their external reality more effectively. Kids alter their subjective reality when they create an imaginary friend. To the adult looking on, the imaginary friend is nothing more than a childhood fantasy but to the child, the friend is a legitimate and very real part of their (self-created) world. So much so that the arrival of such a friend often brings an observable positive change in the emotional state of the child. Without ever being taught the skill, kids somehow find a way to make themselves happier. Now that is clever. That is powerful.
The Last Bit
Coming to the realisation that you have the ability to create your own personal reality - despite your situation, despite your circumstance, despite your history and despite your environment – is one of the most important, liberating and empowering discoveries you will ever make. When you choose to create your own reality, the sky is the limit. And no, this is not some weird-ass, abstract philosophical concept but rather, an invaluable skill – if you choose to make it that. On the other hand, if you decide that this message is nothing more than self-help mumbo-jumbo-fluff, that’s exactly what it will be. For you. Can you imagine living in a place where there are no problems, only lessons? Or a place where every day is a good day because you make that decision? Or what about a place where the only approval you need is your own? I know that for some of you this concept of finding your way to happiness and calm by learning to manage your internal environment might seem like an improbable, overly simplistic and somewhat impractical solution to (what appears to be) a very complex problem or situation. For a long time I was of the same opinion.
Now I know better. 
Ciao xx
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words to strive by
Hi Craig,
People often say to me “you are always smiling” “what are you up to” and they never believe me if I say nothing………………it’s great fun.
Thanks for the post.
p.s. can you remind my wife that I have asked for one of your books for my birthday which is really soon!
Your words about how kids choose to create their own reality rung so true for me today. My 5 yr old, just this avo, had decided that his new set of ‘dog tag’s’ (won in a lucky dip) can assist him to transform into a Power Ranger (however he can only do this at parks! lol). It is a such a good example of the possibility of choosing our own realty (in my son’s case a very happy and ‘powerful’ one) and is also such a pity that when we grow up, we seem to have the tendency to MAKE it so much more complicated. Choices – we always have them, so why don’t we exercise that ability ?? For our own good.
I am all with you on moving away from the ‘tribal’ thinking and away from all that ‘learned’ stuff’ gleened from the conventions and norms of our past and of our society. There are better realities to occupy!! And lots more ‘ways to be’ to explore.
I think we should talk about this one again !
It is a really important subject and skill to grasp – and possibly needs some practice and reminders too (like meditation)….anyhow, yes, let’s talk about this one again!
In short, thank you grasshopper. Your creative teaching is appreciated !!
(BTW – flannel shirts and army pants ?? aren’t you cold?? sorry, that’s the ‘mum’ in me – now please go and put a jumper on!)
hugs,
Mon ( )
I give you a “platonic mate only’ kiss mate because we have not met face to face yet and you 100% write how I feel. How good is that?
I have not left any person, animal, situation (alive or not) behind – what I have left behind is Michael, the pathetic piece of human trash, sad, bitter, angry, hateful. What’s in his place is someone who has the same people, things etc in my life – but what’s gone is who I was. And that was, I hated myself and brought into my life unhappiness.
Letting go, closure, moving on, getting over it – myths. What has been gotten over is the NEED to have X and Y. You can be told you will be run over by a bus and you never had X or Y or achieved X or Y. But how more important it is to me to look at what HAS been experienced. (having said that I’m still going to Brissie’s Tiff & Co for a gents ring one day
I’m in tears Craig
seriously, as you have painted my life on a blog without being physically present or being my new age guru or shrink – how good is that mate – how good is that 
I just wanted to share something else with you all. I was out riding my bike thismorning and I was resting and looking out over the beach and I heard a voice behind me, an old lady with walking frame was asking me how many miles I had ridden, I told her I had done 9 so far, she then incouraged me to do more. I said I would, and I wished her a good day. The lady then replied “I will, I make the most of every day, come hell, rain or shine” fantastic! Very old, very slow, but most definitely making her own reality.
Cheers American Girl
But I don’t own a jumper Mon…
Great story Matt. I love old people. Maybe because I almost am one!
In return I’ll give you a Craig-hug Michael. And keep in mind that I am a world-class hugger.
Thanks for sharing some of your story 
Another awesome, thought provoking article. I love your writing style, it’s so inspiring. Keep up the great work.
Leslie, USA
Craig, you aren’t getting old, you are getting wise. For most of us, the passing years tend to do that for us. I totally agree with what you said in this article. Thanks for sharing it with the rest of us. It is a great reminder not to be a people-pleaser and to take responsibility for what is going on in your own world since you are the one who creates it anyway. After years of struggling with that one, I finally got it. With responsibility comes freedom to be yourself, warts and all.
Inspiring. Craig, what made you decide to become a blogger?
Craig,
Thank you for what is obviously a very honest and personal look at your truth. I would like you to consider that just a few changes of wording, tweaks the concept. You wrote & I am taking the liberty to amend
“Coming to the realisation that you have the ability to create your own personal reality – BECAUSE OF your situation, BECAUSE OF your circumstance, BECAUSE OF your history and BECAUSE OF our environment – is one of the most important, liberating and empowering discoveries you will ever make. When you choose to ACCEPT your own TRUTH”
The lessons and sign posts along our path are just that; situations and people who teach us what we can tolerate, what resonates as truth, how to love, how & when to walk away.
When we fall off our bike, do we continue trying to balance on it until we are successful and have a life time of pleasurable bike riding ? Or do we say bikes are frightening and they hurt us and walk away? Either way, the experience shapes your personal view of self and your place in the world. Its always a choice.
The same can be true for love. As teens we fall into lust and learn about that. Then as we realize that lust isn’t enough, we attract people who will teach us about self love. Some times, they say they love us and don’t act like it, but its easier for us to believe the words. And when there is imbalance- there is pain.
Other times, we allow ourselves to become invested in another person and lose perspective. We begin to think we need that person to be happy. They take may advantage of that or get scared away.
Either way the lesson is there. Its what you choose to do with it. Do we say love is frightening and hurts so I will walk away and close that door?
I say choose love, ride the bike, because it feels good, take a chance on joy. Know that you that can play with friends, no one else sees.
That you can trust in your intuition and thank the teachers that have brought you this far.
If you are in a situation that challenges, stop and ask your self the basic questions: How does this make me feel? is this an experience that I wish to integrate? is this consistent with my core self and passion for living my best life? Then choose.
This is an amazing time to be on earth and we have limitless potential. That’s how it looks from my little hunk of Heaven.
What a lovely post, Craig. I never tweet but I re-tweeted you. Don’t know if I did it right but I have a couple followers in high places.
Craig,
How utterly profound.
It certainly sums up all the teachings I’ve been exposed to…and in a heartfelt way, I might add.
I am rarely impressed by writtings -expecting a course of study to follow .
I must admit you blew me away.
A Zen master couldn’t have said it better.
Thanks for the message and the reminder.
Cheers,
rene’
Craig,
Once again you hit the nail right on the head! This is exactly why I have “re-started” my journey to a better life, every day. My goal is to make each new day better than the day before. And you, my friend, are truly an inspiration.
Thank you!
Phil
Hi Craig,
How lovely to be called a teenager on a Monday morning. I’m still technically a thirty-something for a while longer so I have to enjoy it while I can.
I’m so jealous that your world has been completed, you’ve moved in and can sit back and appreciate the serenity. Good for you, though, it can’t have been an easy process.
My world is still under construction but it’s going well. I’ve laid the foundations, the frame is up and I’m moving towards lock-up stage. At the moment I still have builders and council inspectors visiting the site unannounced telling me ‘You can’t put that there, love.’ and ‘That style just doesn’t suit the character of the streetscape, we’ll get complaints from the other residents.’ But I’m about to tell them all to bugger off.
It’s been an expensive process. I decided against renovating in favour of a knock-down-rebuild – starting from scratch can be painful but very liberating. I didn’t want to be limited by walls placed there by others years ago, I wanted to choose my own dimensions.
I’ll let you all know when it’s ready for visitors but bear in mind that a house is never really finished – I’ll always be redecorating and improving.
Have a lovely Monday.
Christina xxx
Thanks Leslie
Hugs for you Patricia (( ))
Hi Omar
Johnny – my business partner – introduced me to the blogosphere and I have come to realise that it’s the best way (for me) to share my thoughts with a global audience with no dealines, no editors and no rules. I also love the interactvie nature of this medium.
I love how you think and communicate Diane – thanks for teaching us something today
x
Thanks Karenv
You’re welcome Rene’
Enjoy that new life Phil
The Queen of Metaphors rides in on her cyber-horse and delivers the mail as only she can. And we love it. Enjoy your new world Christina x
Yay for your insight this morning – totally get what you are on about – just read Mans search for meaning by Viktor Frankl….
Great post Craigo!! I loved that …
It’s nice to know, as I enter my “teenage” years this year, the feeling I have about it will disappear in time. For some reason, I have created a total “weirdness” to turning 30. I understand that it’s all of my own creation and it doesn’t make any sense. I think it comes down to the fact I thought I’d know more stuff by now, and I realise how little I do know. But it’s just a number … and I’m a spring chicken anyway!!!
It was the same when I had a baby … for some reason I had this expectation that as soon as it was born, I would be endowed with all the knowledge of my mother, my mother’s mother and all the mothers in the world!! When I didn’t have that knowledge (and didn’t know what the hell I was doing!) I didn’t feel like a “real” mother. Now I know better.
Progress has been made in a very superficial way – I no longer care about the brand of clothes I wear (go Target!) and I’m getting better at not trying to please everyone. My world is still work in progress, but it’s a better place to be than it was 6 months ago … fewer problems, and more lessons!!
Thanks for such a great post, it offered me some perspective and clarity!
Em
( ) x
G’day Craig
The “lessons” part revisited me from RYL recently when I struck a snag in a project that I’m involved in for a management course assignment.
After 3 months of attempting to get it off the ground and then realising that I have to start from scratch again with only 4 months before I have to present it to the company general managers and CEO; I learned the following.
1. This project is not the be all and end all of life though I made it seem that way for a day or so.
2. If I had followed the guidelines indicated by sound project management practise, I wouldn’t have had to learn the lesson in this form.
3. Putting things into perspective (after an (almost) sleepless night) loops me back to lesson 1. And it applies to everything else as well.
And now, while I haven’t had the opportunity to re-start yet thanks to long hours of shift work and sleep deprivation (shift work will be no more in 3 weeks…WOO HOO) and needed days off, I have also learned that in the big scheme of things, it’s not as important as I first thought.
I know what I have to do (Not sure how just yet, but I do know that I’ll complete the project and course successfully, no doubt!, but I’ll do so with full awareness and perspective of my own reality.
Cheers
Alan
Hi Sharleen – I’m so glad you reminded me of that book. I read it years ago and it was a life-impacting experience for me. The book is a compelling first hand account of effectively controlling one’s internal environment. To the rest of you, if you’re looking for something to read that’s not on a computer screen, go find yourself a copy. It’s gold.
Thanks Sharleen
You’re welcome Editor Em.
x
Hi Craig, another great ‘blog’ but one which really started me thinking of where I have been and how far I have got! I used to worry about what people thought of me, I also hated talking in front of an audience, I would cringe!! But..something happened, I guess I got older and dare I say ‘wiser’!!
I love being me, it has taken me a long time to actually say that and that what I say does make sense (well..as long as I don’t talk “dyslexic)!! I also find that people do listen to me and that they are interested in what I have to say. These past few weeks I had let things at work get on top of me which made me very angry, depressed etc. But I have decided it’s not worth letting anger and depression take over because feeling like that will not change the outcome! So, I am calm, feeling happy, I think of who I am, I have my health and at my age that is great. (60 next year)!! I have a beautiful family, a wonderful husband and terrific friends. I am truly blessed.
Thank you so much for reminding me of the ‘good things’ in life.
Take care,
Fran xx
YAY, Im a a teenager! Love it thanks Craig. As I feel like a teengar, act like one and even dress like one (obviously with more class) .. just takes a little more work and LESS cheesecake to keep my bum like one! mmm heading to the forties that is scary .. I dont want this to end.. Love my head trip!
In the 80′s I wore electric blue to my formal, Now I wear it to weddings!
In the eighties I wanted to be skinny! Now I want to know the best squats to keep it lifted… . When I was a kid I never understood the hypocrits at church today it is the same!
I always just wanted to have fun, now I actually do! I always wanted to pump the music and be on a podium, now i get paid to do this…
There was a time when I pursued society’s version of success and always ended up unhappy, today I live my own!
..AHHHHHHHHHHHH what more can I say .. but loving Vanilla Bean today! and humanity (thanks for the city to surf.. was awesome)!
And thanks for Craig, Johnny and ohh blogging as it makes this a reality!
Good work Alan – finding the lessons not the problems. No more shift work sounds like a good idea! Nice to hear from you big fella
It’s all about finding the good Fran – and it sounds like there’s plenty of good in your world. And after all, celebrating is much more fun than commiserating
x
Thanks for the injection of enthusiasm and optimism Kate – loved it.
“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
- Carl Jung
The surefire way to the inner is to allow the letting go of the outer. From the time eager fellow beings shake and rattle colorful toys 2 inches from my face as a babe, the focus of my attention is continually being grounded in the outer stimulatory sphere. So then comes thought, and with thought comparison, and with comparison comes lack, and with lack comes the conflict of not ever having enough, being enough, looking good enough, being skinny enough and so on. The conflict embroils me in a constant struggle to achieve the outer template I pine for.
While I am involved in that time consuming cyclonic energy spinning in circles, I will not reach that calm inner core of my being.
So I set about nullifying the conflict by allowing the letting go of the striving and the attachment to my outer template.
Easier said then done, only because my subconscious beliefs will be at odds with my new direction and focus.
If I have formed beliefs of lack, then my new belief must become one of abundance. And so I go, disassembling the spinal belief structure that has come to reside within me and implementing the new. This is not an easy task, as beliefs are incredibly resistant to change, and as is way too obvious by the continual self sabotage I manifest, they demand expression.
There is help available for my endeavour, because there is universal help at hand, with the only barrier to that help being a question, Why?
And…
What do I need to do next to venture into that connectedness with my inner heart and leave the outer conflict behind?
Why do I have conflict?
How do I resolve that conflict?
Questions like these light up the potential universal response to come and fill the vacuum I have created through my asking.
Patience is reqiured for the rewarding of my genuine curiousity, the answer will come in it’s own time and in it’s own way.
Not my way!
Hi Craig,
Thank you for your message today. It comes at a point in my life when I am having a crisis of ‘why’. At 46 I am going back to studies, trying on a new career. But I have realised that I want to run before I walk. I need to remember that ‘without the gardener, there is no garden’ and that ;The law of the farm is – There are no shortcuts. I need to take joy in the learning, in the process, create my own reality, and know that it takes hard work to get there. As a child I dreamed of doing what I am studying – Conservation and Land Management – I did it all in my head, knew what needed to be done, practiced doing it mentally and physically. Now I am impatient to just get in and do it. I need to change my perception. Just because I think I know what I am doing, doesnt mean I do. Knowing the right and wrong way makes all the difference. And I will remind myself of this when I get impatient to just get in and do it. It is all in the attitude.
Bev
Yep, my world .. my reality .. my responsibility. I think up until my mid 30s (at least), life was all about the external stuff – how I looked, what I had, what my achievements were, how others saw me. For me (and it seems it’s the same for many others that I’ve spoken to), I don’t think I had the necessary maturity or life experience – or combination of the two – to be in a place to look at my internal world. Let alone take responsibility for it and change it! But I think once you have gained that strength and are ready, you suddenly go from feeling frustrated by the world (your world) and lacking control, to being like a kid in a new playground .. a heap of freedom and so many new things to try out and play around with. A bright, colourful world full of adventure and mystery and where the weather is whatever you choose.
Is it strange to have an imaginary friend at age 40? Someone who I talk to and laugh with and that makes me feel special and loved and not alone? You know what? I actually don’t care what the answer is. My world rocks. Planet Sue.
( )
Thanks yet again Littlejohn.
You’re the problem and the solution Bev. As we all are
Enjoy your new career.
Planet Sue? Nice name for a blog.
Craig,
Sometimes I think we are twins. Either that or you visit my mind often
.Seriously though isn’t it wonderful to get to the place where we no longer try and change but rather learn to BECOME. Become all we were created to be before circumstance and life caged us with “their” thoughts, ideas, prejudices as to how we need to live our lives. I love the fact that you continue to challenge people to look inside themselves for the answers to their questions.
Thanks
Cheryl ( )
Hi Craig-
)
Thank you for this awesome message. I feel like this is where I’m heading *finally*! I’m in my mid-30s now and just had my first baby (a beautiful little girl named Madison). My “world” is changing and I’m loving every minute of it. Surprisingly, even the challenges and heartaches have become life lessons and I’ve been able to grow from them little by little. That’s progress right?
Thank you for your wisdom and your willingness to share your thoughts with us. Looking forward to your future postings!
Jen
I really appreciate your wordcraft Craig. You truly have a good grasp on putting the philosophical and emotional into practical everyday terms. I am somewhat envious as I strive to find the freedom within me that you have obviously achieved. It is wonderful to be able to see kindred spirits expressing themselves so enthusiastically in relatable terms.
Keep shining and sing praise to the $10 flannel shirts.
I love the way you write so easily and fluidly When you love what you do and do what you love it is a pleasure to behold.
Thankyou for your insights.
I am actually a mind traveller Cheryl… but keep it quiet
You’re welcome Jen
Love those flannel shirts Jeff!
You’re very welcome Roseanna – thanks for dropping by
Probably one of my favorite entries by you
cheers