Moving Towards Consciousness and Calm – the last bit (for now)

Before we start

Hi Groovers. Last Thursday we had a little fun with an article called – Twenty Three Things You Ladies (Probably) Won’t Hear From Your Bloke. Anyway, I forgot to award the promised prize for our best reader contribution. Oops. After much reviewing, deliberation and heated discussion among our extensive judging panel (Johnnie and I), we’ve gone with Suz from Sydney for her amusing additions to our list. Well done girl. Contact the bald bloke via email and let him know if you’d prefer the trip for two to the Bahamas T-shirt, book, CD or DVD. And thanks to the rest of you for getting involved – you guys are pretty funny.

Today’s post…

Today’s instalment may be a teensy-weensy bit weird for some of you; it’s almost weird for me – and I wrote it! So if you’ve arrived here at me-dot-com today in search of a traditional butt-kicking, motivational-type article, you may wanna come back Monday. Or Tuesday. Wednesday perhaps. Anyway, if you’re weird brave enough, strap in and hold on.

CJ’s Mum

I’m having some fun this week exploring the concept of a life beyond the cerebral chaos – and apparently, so are many of you. Cool. The other day we received a very interesting comment from one of our readers – ‘CJ‘ – regarding all this getting-out-of-our-thoughts stuff.

Here’s part of it:

“2 years ago my mum suffered a breakdown of sorts and lost all her memory, she woke up with just what she had, she could still talk and write etc but she had no history. I have honestly never known my mum happier in my life time, there had been so much negative in her life it affected her each and every day, when there was none of that to bring her down she literally seemed lighter, she smiled all the time and was just so happy being in the moment.”

“I’m not saying we should all have breakdowns, but I am mentioning this because she was still the same body, same life, same base personality but the change in her thoughts made an amazing difference to the woman she was.”

Thanks for sharing that story with us CJ, it’s a perfect illustration of the impact our thoughts can have on, not only our overall level of happiness, but our entire reality. In an instant your mum went from being an unhappy prisoner of her thoughts (the painful past that lived on in her head) to, in your words – “I have honestly never known my mum happier in my life time”

Letting Go

“Never been happier”; that’s a significant statement isn’t it? Imagine that, moving from misery to happiness in one day. And the only change was an internal one; letting go (completely) of her past. Or should I say more accurately, letting go of her destructive (fearful, anxious, painful) thoughts. Of course we wouldn’t recommend the method (a breakdown) but what this story teaches us is that sometimes, happiness has nothing to do with our current external reality and everything to do with the reality we create – and continue to inhabit – in our head. Once CJ’s mum stopped dragging the pain of her past around, she walked out of that emotional and cerebral prison and into calm, joy and freedom. Nice.

As I have shared a few times before…

Happiness doesn’t come from desperately chasing it, but rather from letting go of that which makes us unhappy

… just as we saw with CJ’s mum.

Okay, here’s where it may get a little weird for some of you…

In his book The Power of Now, Eckart Tolle suggests that the past doesn’t actually exist, but rather that it’s merely a mental concept we have created. All that exists and all that will ever exist, is the now. The only place you and I will ever live (live being a verb), that is – do, be, create, interact, communicate, breathe, laugh, touch, love – is in this present moment; right here, right now. Think about it… you and I can’t do, be, create, interact, communicate, breathe, laugh, touch or love in the past, because we can’t exist there – because it doesn’t exist. And when you had that argument with your partner last Wednesday, that wasn’t the past, that was the now. Every event in your life has always taken place in the now. The past is merely our mind’s way of replaying a series of events (in the form of mental images) that all happened in the now.

Our version of ‘the past’

The only place that the past – what we commonly understand as the past – can have any influence, control or power over us, is in our mind – because that’s the only place it ‘lives’. The past can’t make us unhappy, only we make us unhappy – because the past is no more. Neither can events of the past make us miserable in the now because they simply don’t exist. The pain (of what we understand as the past) is no more – unless we allow it to become a permanent resident in our mind. Just ask CJ’s mother; “She smiled all the time and was just so happy being in the moment” – because for the first time, she was living totally in the now.

Okay, I kind of get it – so what ‘s the point?

Well, there are several truths and insights that we can take away from this:

1. By living in the past – you know, the one that doesn’t exist – we are missing out on the now – you know, the one that does exist!

2. Too often we hand over power, energy, joy and precious time to those destructive thoughts that pull into our petrol station (see Monday’s post). Then one day we wake up and we’re five years older, just as miserable (or worse) and still ‘inhabiting’ the same place.

3. Knowingly or not, intentionally or not, we create our own reality. And in doing so, we create our own misery… or happiness.

4. Misery isn’t the result of situations, circumstances or events but rather our thoughts about (internal response to) those things.

Thought isn’t you… it’s just thought

I’ll finish with a quote from Eckhart:

At the heart of the new consciousness lies the transcendence of thought, the newfound ability of rising above thought, of realizing a dimension within yourself that is infinitely more vast than thought. You then no longer derive your identity, your sense of who you are, from the incessant stream of thinking that in the old consciousness you take to be yourself. What a liberation to realise that “the voice in my head” is not who I am.

Then who am I? The one who sees that. The awareness prior to thought, the space in which the thought – or the emotion or sense perception – happens. (Taken from A New Earth)

I already know that this subject is one which will continue to elicit a wide range of responses and reactions; that’s okay. I also know that, while it’s not always a comfortable, easy or conventional exploration, the journey to discover who we are and what we can become beyond our thoughts, is not only an exciting one, but potentially, the most important ‘trip’ we will ever take. Over the next few months we will periodically come back and chip away a little further at this topic. I’ll do my best not to give you a brain-ache. Promise.

Say hi or leave a comment by simply clicking on the link below. If you’re not sure how to leave a comment, click here.

Enjoy your weekend Groovers,

Ciao x

* Don’t forget my new kid’s book (The Angry Ant) is out now! Love this article? Sign up for my FREE Email Newsletter today to receive more articles like this, and get my FREE Ebook!

{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous March 26, 2009 at 3:29 pm

Hi Craigo!

Harper-rific!
Love it!

What an awesome way to live….

“in the now”

MG xxx

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Jules March 26, 2009 at 7:58 pm

Ditto with living in the future too hey Craig? Something I’ve been doing a lot of lately. I’m missing out on my AMAZING now by living in the FUTURE (partly filled with fear and anxiey). My head and stomach are hurting now as a result of that destructive habit.

Jules (Melbourne)

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Tina March 26, 2009 at 9:02 pm

Hey Craig ! My E.T. cd’s have arrived so I’m about to dive in the deep end… it’s about time I learned to breathe while I’m swimming ! Have an amazing weekend.
{{HUG}} Tina

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Suza March 26, 2009 at 10:30 pm

Hi there! Thanks very much to the efforts of the judging panel .. the pressure of such decisions must weigh very heavy, and I feel suitably honoured.

Now what I want to know is who I have to … er … INVITE (I’ll be polite!) .. to get you to remove the strikeout from prize choice number one??!!!

I’ll email Johnny to let him know where to send my ticket ;)

Cheers!
Suz

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Anonymous March 26, 2009 at 11:47 pm

Craig, your posts this week reinforce the ‘messages’ I’ve been getting smacked in the head with. Have started meditating again thanks to you and other messengers and already feel the inner quiet!It’s wonderful to get some relief from myself, live for the moment. -Alane, USA

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nicola March 27, 2009 at 4:46 am

Hi all. I just came across this site by accident. I was having a day where i wanted some motivation/inspiraton, so I looked on youtube and thank heavens I came across you craig. I am currently in counselling at the moment about my past, and trying to deal with the now, how to get my confidence back and self esteem, what I want to change in life etc. But sometimes I feel it only goes on for an hour, then I leave the appointment trying to block everything out what has been said and just continue on with my day without really even thinking about it. I know that only I can change that, but being able to read your emails, I can refer back to these for motivation, so thanks Craig, I think you’re doing such an awesome job and helping people change their lives for the better.
Ciao
Nicola

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Mimi March 27, 2009 at 6:56 am

Wow! If this isn’t me in a nutshell! I’m from Boston, Massachusetts and today I Googled “staying positive” and stumbled across your site. I Googled that because I’ve felt mired down with negativity lately and I’m exhausted from it! I am positively OWNED by my thoughts lately…and usually. Talk about anxiety!! So I read back to the March 21st post and I’m hooked. I LOVE this stuff and find myself more than eager to figure out how to be a PNM (Prisoner No More!) I have the Ekhart Tolle book and am part of the way into it. Life did get in the way of that book when all hell broke loose last year. But I’m ready to pick it up again; I wish you weren’t going to go back to the normal personal improvement posts, though I’m sure those will do me good.
Really wonderful stuff Craig, thanks SO much. I’ve already started patrolling my thoughts, and will start building my fence or…I’ll borrow yours!!
Take care, Mimi

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Craig Harper March 27, 2009 at 7:36 am

Cheers MG x

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Craig Harper March 27, 2009 at 7:37 am

Enjoy ET Tina… :)

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Craig Harper March 27, 2009 at 7:39 am

Unfortunately Suz – the international travel prizes cupboard is bare… enjoy your shirt!

:)

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Craig Harper March 27, 2009 at 7:41 am

Good for you Alane.. enjoy the now.

:)

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Craig Harper March 27, 2009 at 7:43 am

Well thanks for your kind words Nicola and I’m happy to be a small part of your journey…

A Craig Hug – ( )

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Craig Harper March 27, 2009 at 7:45 am

You can stand next to me at the fence Mimi – and we can observe our thoughts together!

Take care :)

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JB March 27, 2009 at 7:46 am

OK…I get it, I get it….. the past can’t make us unhappy, only we make us unhappy because the past is no more. BUT sometimes the CONSEQUENCES of our PAST are very much front and centre of our NOW and can make it very challenging to be ‘happy’. Example… (not my own)…drunk, drive, accident, death, jail…very hard to be happy in the now and not regret the past for one very poor decision. Is it realistic to expect one to feel sorry, learn from that HUGE mistake and move on with a clear mind? In some ways it seems too simplistic to leave the past behind when one can be living with the consequences of it daily.

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Craig Harper March 27, 2009 at 8:01 am

Hi JB

Not easy to move on, but possible.

While we can understandably regret or even agonise over mistakes of the past – we can’t change them by carrying guilt, pain, anger or self-loathing.

If we could undo certain things – we all would. But we can’t. So we must decide what we should do and how we want to exist in the now.

Letting go of pain or guilt doesn’t mean we’re bad people, doesn’t mean that we don’t care or we don’t take total responsibility for what we’ve done. Sometimes letting go means that we can become functional enough to be a positive influence in the lives of others – who may need our help.

Having a “clear mind” (as you say) in not synonymous with avoiding responsiblity, being a bad person or having no conscience.

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Ben March 27, 2009 at 9:05 am

Hi Craig,

I’ve been pondering this post since I read it last night (while watching my AFL team get hammered last night) and my gut reaction is that I’m not entirely sold on Eckhart Tolle’s notion that one’s past is only a mental construct.

One can only ever live in the “now” because one can’t physically return to the past or travel to the future.

But I can see physical proof of what I have done in the past all around me – i.e. when I get home of a night and my boys go for a jump on the trampoline in the backyard there is physical proof of a decision my wife and I made about a x-mas present for my sons last year.

My take, as I’ve written in other comments, is that one has to decide whether one expends mental time and energy on dragging up and worrying about past life event and choices made from the recesses of one’s memory – or one chooses to enjoy what is happening now. It comes to which marbles one wants to chase.

Cheers,

Ben

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Mon March 27, 2009 at 10:58 am

Hi Craig (and congrats, Suza),

Still such a interesting topic (and comments)! I have been reading a little lately about the neural pathways we create and the scientific evidence which posits that we actually enlarge each neural pathway as we revisit or re-experience something, which then in turn influences our behaviours and actions in the present(subconscious control). (Gosh, I hope that makes sense!)

Anyhow, when I think of the ‘living in the now’ concept, as opposed to living in the past, I think of the fact that by doing so, I am enabling my little brain to not enlarge those pathways (past experiences)and thus not allowing it to influence the present (as much). Oh dear, now I’m making my own head ache!!

It is kinda’ that idea you put forward often, Craig – that your history doesn’t have to equal your future (unless you allow it to).

Oh, gosh – I think I could be entering that ‘weird’ stage (but enjoying it!)……good luck to everyone in working out their best way to live life ‘in the present’. I think we all must get there in ways which are comfortable and appropriate for ourselves – and…it does take practice and time, I think.

Okay, enough ‘thinking’…..enjoy your weekend. Love these fas-kinating posts!!

Cheers,
Mon ( )

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Anonymous March 27, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Whoa! Steady on there Mr The-past-doesn’t-exist Harper!

If the past doesn’t exist, then I am out of a job.

EG xxx (completely missing the point as usual)

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Nicole March 27, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Hi Craig

I’m loving your site… can’t get enough. Love E.T. too. I find it interesting that you make comment about how the topics around collective consciousness might be tough to take for some. The most interesting aspect about the whole thing is that people “get it” when they need to.

And, yes I can picture some screwed up “huh??” faces out there, but if all you do is plant a seed, then those who aren’t quite ready for “collective consciousness” may begin to develop a renewed awareness. They have to, once the light bulb goes on, its very difficult to turn it off. We may be able to dim it a little because the truth is too bright. But eventually I hope we will all stand in the light.

Thank you for your web site and your daily insights.

And, just for a quick update on my 12 week challenge. I’m in week 11 and have lost 13.5 kilos !!! WOO HOO!!!! The shoulder injury in week 9 (dislocated right side) slowed me down but only served to teach me that I have resilience to adversity.

Cheers
Nicole

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CJisFINDINGit March 27, 2009 at 4:27 pm

I wrote a comment earlier and it dissappeared due to some blog maintenance or something.

Was a lot of tripe about not much anyway, so no great loss, but thanks for making me famous for a day! lol

Awesome weekends to everyone,
CJ

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Jules March 27, 2009 at 6:42 pm

EG – too funny, you history teacher extraordinaire!

Ummm – I’d be out of a job too. The one I err started 2 days ago ;) Because if the past didn’t exist then that tram (it’s a Melbourne thing – kind of) versus car accident never happened…

If we all got this concept (and others) and applied it consistently in our world, you’d be out of a job too, Craig?

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arte March 27, 2009 at 8:13 pm

Hi Craig,
I really enjoy your website. I feel that it has given me stepping stones to get back on my path. I am in a situation where I was let down by my husband when I fell ill and found it extremely hard to accept.He wasn’t emotionally supportive to me and this really effected my feelings towards him. Through your articles I am learning how to help myself emotionally and how to stop hurting myself (and my husband)by hanging onto that hurt. Your articles have helped me become aware that unless I stop carrying the thoughts from the past I’m not allowing the now to happen. This has been a long and very hard path to deal with and I understand that I should be focusing on what we can do now, together.

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Brigit March 27, 2009 at 8:59 pm

Hi, Great site!

After a death almost a year ago, I found the past too painful to look at and the future somewhat inconceivable, so the now was it! And it was amazing what it has revealed. I think our desire to improve our personal futures, and our ‘what ifs’ about our pasts, blind one to what is most valuable. Living in the moment. But you’ve to do it consciously!

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Jules March 28, 2009 at 9:49 am

As I started to read this post I must admit I was thinking “bullshit” but then as I read on I got it.

We fully have the choice to live in the now, my husband always says I am a Nana and that I worry too much about what could happen. I worry about what could happen because of what HAS happened around me, either in my inner circle or in the wider community.

Would live be a whole lot better for me if I didn’t worry about the “what ifs”?

Would that then make me irresponsible?

Or would it just make me happy??

Having worked with Dementia patients who often lose their memories and regress back to much older memories and thoughts, I have seen some of them become extremely unworried and happy but others can become very upset with what their mind is telling them is the NOW thoughts but WE know them to be their old thoughts. So are they existing?? They are living in the past but for them the past is NOW??

Just challenging you a bit but I do like the tone of this post.

Now I’ll be mulling my NOW over all weekend long. LOL

Jewels/Jules2

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J9 March 28, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Craig,

I SO agree with you that “the journey to discover who we are and what we can become beyond our thoughts, is not only an exciting one, but potentially, the most important ‘trip’ we will ever take”.

I thought that by achieving my weight and fitness goals I would have sorted out my life. But I’ve realised that working on my mind, thoughts, reactions and responses to what goes on around me is even more important in my quest to become the best me I can be.

Thank you for your inspiration.

J9 ()

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rita August 12, 2009 at 2:49 am

hi craig, just found out about you and your writings via lifehack.org. read your two-part “changing your personal reality” and three-part “consciousness and calm.” thanks for writing and sharing. it’s all good stuff i know i can do.

cheers to you and your observations, rita

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Jennifer March 10, 2010 at 1:06 pm

Craig,

Your words are incredible…Thank you for this this! its amazing!!!

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