Transformation Through Alignment
‘Living in alignment’, have you heard that expression before? It gets thrown around quite a lot these days. While it seems to mean different things to different people, today I thought I would share what it means to me and how creating (and living) a life of alignment can transform our day-to-day, multi-dimensional (emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual) existence for the better.
“Living in alignment means living a life which is reflective of (and in alignment with) our core values, beliefs and principles.”
Q. What’s the point of living in alignment?
A. Authenticity and happiness.
When our (typical) choices, behaviours, habits and outcomes are reflective of our core values, then we’re in balance. We’re being true to ourselves. Consciously living a life of alignment produces less stress, less frustration, less misery and even less physical illness. And, therefore, more peace, satisfaction, happiness and health (obviously).
Who’s out of alignment?
- The girl who says she wants to be healthy but continues to smoke.
- The guy who (says he) values fidelity but cheats on his partner.
- The girl who expects loyalty (from others) but betrays her friends.
- The guy who criticises others while ignoring his own faults.
- The minister who doesn’t walk the talk.
- The speaker who advocates work-life balance while working a bazillion hours per week.
- The personal trainer who preaches health and self-control during the week while abusing alcohol every weekend.
- The person who loves nature but never leaves suburbia.
- The highly-principled employee who turns a blind eye to unethical behaviour in the workplace.
- Anyone who lies constantly.
- Anyone who doesn’t listen to their body.
- Anyone who ignores their inner wisdom.
- Anyone who consciously compromises their values.
Sounds good in theory but…
While it all makes sense in theory, sometimes the practical reality of our life situation means that ‘living our values’ twenty-four-seven can be a major challenge. I agree. And that’s okay. Nobody said it would be easy or painless. Everything worthwhile comes at a cost. The question is whether we’re prepared to make the necessary investment (or not). Sometimes, the price of alignment is high in the short term but totally worth it over the long haul. Sometimes, choosing to live our values will mean taking a backward step (in some areas). It will mean getting uncomfortable and doing what scares us. It might mean changing, or even ending, certain relationships. It could mean ruffling a few feathers, getting noses out of joint and standing up for what we know is right (for us). Sometimes the right thing is not the easy thing and, sometimes, the only approval we need is our own. By the way, people pleasers rarely live in alignment because they are always compromising.
How did I end up here?
Sometimes, we allow certain situations, circumstances, expectations (of others) and relationships to gradually come between us and the life we want to build and live. We don’t do it intentionally or consciously but we do it. Most of us have woken up (at some stage of our journey) and said something like “how on earth did I end up in this place (literally or metaphorically)? This wasn’t my plan. This wasn’t my intention. This isn’t who I want to be. ”
So, how can you live a life of alignment?
Step 1. Get clear about your core values, beliefs and principles (not anyone else’s, yours).
Step 2. Build a life around those things. No matter what.
Sure, I could waffle on for another thousand words or so, but do I really need to? 
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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
reading this post.. the visual of a bloody huge glacier with me (who hates the cold) trying to ice pick her way to the top…. it is a journey and yes at times a struggle, when the peg slips… but the more I persist… the better I put the pegs in and the further I get….. defining core values, beliefs and principles beyond what has been conditioned in childhood and beyond what others think you should be or who you are… it is a constant journey…. I think ‘alignment’ changes with our wisdom…
whilst a consistent process..i finally realised the other day that this is what we do…
Er…step 1, step 2, Hitler? Doormat or dictator? (just playing devil’s advocate).
How do you recognise a core value?
You said it all. What can I do now other than “suck it up, princess”, and forgive myself the relapse.
hey inline with ur new running motivatiön-theres a mud run on in sydney in dec check it mudrun2010.com.au
The guy who (says he) values fidelity but cheats on his partner.
It’s not cheating if both partners agree to an open, if that is aligned with their values, society has no right to judge. I think many are out of alignment when they go on and on how pure as snow they are yet I catch them going home at the venues with someone other than their partner. It’s not my business but judge or you will be judged.
“Sometimes, we allow certain situations, circumstances, expectations (of others) and relationships to gradually come between us and the life we want to build and live. We don’t do it intentionally or consciously but we do it. Most of us have woken up (at some stage of our journey) and said something like “how on earth did I end up in this place (literally or metaphorically)? This wasn’t my plan. This wasn’t my intention. This isn’t who I want to be. ”
I get tired of the new age arguement that we allow everything. That’s total BS. Again, the blame the victim syndrome, the you have to forgive say if your friend machine gunned everyone you have to forgive, but if you did that you would be blamed.
People, animals, nature, society, the human body, free will it all stops us getting what we want and deserve and then new age people ponficiate it’s all your fault! Give me a break. I’m having a chocolate now and yes it is not aligned with my values to lose weight but i’m p**** off.
Michael. If there’s a way to get angry, offended or annoyed – you’ll find it. I’ve read every one of your comments for the last year or more and never read anything positive from you. Do you ever wonder why it is that other people find wisdom, encouragement and inspiration in Craig’s words but you only find another thing to bitch about? Why do you feel so compelled to share your miserable perspective with the world – what’s the point? What’s your motivation in coming to this site – clearly you don’t want to learn anything – you know it all.
Craig – great article.
Great article today. Living in alignment certainly does lessen the frustration, burdons and stress. Its just knowing what your core values are and when you are not in align with them. Everything has a price.
Happy Monday everyone.
x
KR17 – you got it!
Michael – it’s not new age babble, it’s a mature and adult way of looking at things. If your reaction is to get angry, then you should take a good long look at yourself and ask yourself why you’re so angry. It’s not what Craig wrote (they’re only words after all) but something else.
You need to be in a good place to feel ‘aligned’ and approach situations and people with calm. Else you just add to the conflict for yourself. Someone I knew was in an abusive marriage and, despite a lot of people saying to leave, she only did after 17 years. Why wait so long? She had to feel that she had everthing she needed before taking that step. Aligned if you will.
To step away from anything (abuse, chocolate or whatever you’re not in tune with) requires you to be mature enough to recognise what it is you are walking away from and why, then be brave enough to do it.
I’m glad of this site and the folks who comment… they remind me that despite everything that’s going on, it’s worth it. I know I can do it and – more importantly! – it reminds me that I’m normal because others are feeling these things too.
Thanks Craig. Love your work x
PS Craig, when are you coming to Brisbane next??
I completely agree with you KR17
I’m finding now that I actually scroll down past Michaels comments, I don’t want to read his blogs. Too miserable and negative. His attitude doesn’t help anybody, that is why Craig is the motivaltional speaker and he is not.
Living your truth is incredibly challenging, however I agree that this is the only way to live an authentic life with integrity. It is so true that this often means losing “friends”, a career change (often less money as integity is of little economic value in our society) or a relationship change, or all of the above. I have found that it can in fact be quite an isolating path. Society (fuelled by our leaders, well meaning but misguided parents, learning institutions, the media etc) only seems to value a mainstream economic version of “success” (money, power, ego, who dies with the most toys wins!).That is why so few people choose the ‘alignment’ path, despite their internal pull to do so.
It can feel like swimming upstream until you have the courage to truly accept that the only thing that matters is being true to yourself (in a sense that causes no intentional harm to others). After all ‘we’ are all ‘we’ have.
For me it’s about getting comfortable with the notion that it’s ok to watch the world rushing past and accept that just because ‘they’ are all doing it, doesn’t make it right for me!
The more we align, the more we grow, the more we grow the more we align and so it goes. The more we align the less of a struggle it becomes as our perceptions change.
Thanks Craig for a great post and the mental and emotional nourishment to keep up the perpetual work of ‘aligning’……Good luck to us all.
I can’t claim to have read all of Michael’s comments like KR17 however I have certainly read enough to wonder why Michael is still coming to this site.
Michael I really feel for you as underneath the layer upon layer of resentment, anger, victim mentality and so on your authentic self is hidden. Unfortunately you are so out of touch with your authentic self as it is so deeply hidden that I don’t believe you even
know the real you anymore. How very sad.
Bad things do happen to good people and yes life isn’t fair sometimes. You can choose to bitch and complain about it and stay in your “comfort zone” and be a prisoner of your past or you can choose to change the way you react to events and move on in your life.
I disagree with some of the others though as I am glad that Michael comments regularly and I always read his comments in full. Michael is showing courage by putting himself and his opinions (that are not always popular) out there and expressing his feelings in an open way.
I genuinely would like to understand why Michael visits this site. Underneath the negativity there is an underlying positive intention. I just have no idea what that is. Can you enlighten me Michael?
Hi Craig. I’ve only been reading your blogs for a short while, but i really do enjoy them. I think that I relate more because your an Aussie and you come across as very genuine. I really enjoyed your recent posting on living in alignment. I’m a personal trainer in a small town, and i’m probably better known for my Friday nights (at the pub) than my training. I’ve never been a spiritial person, but I’ve been looking at buddhism, because it’s about having respect for yourself and others. Anyway I won’t go on, just wanted to say to keep up the good work and I look forward to the next episode.
Regards
Greg
I think it boils down to being honest, and having the guts to call yourself when you aren’t living up to your own standards. If you make a commitment to someone else and then don’t follow through, would you think that was OK? It’s the same deal when you make a promise to yourself.
We don’t have to be perfect, but we do have to make more than a token effort.
Funny, I had a minor victory of honour on the weekend and blogged about it this morning. Synchronicity. Or just coincidence…
Wonderful blog Craig,
there are many of us who have been or are going through a crisis/challenge and carry the hurt,anger and pain it causes.
Though if we didn’t have people like Craig Harper to shed some light of guidance that there is always hope, there are always others choices for us to make and move on through this pain, we would sit and rot. We would stay angry with everyone and everything like you are doing Michael.
If WE don’t let go and learn from our experiences this pain/hurt will continue to control us and our lives. We cannot change what has happened but learn from it. And I can damn say it’s been hard.
Don’t we all deserve to be happy . I don’t see it as forgiving but letting go of the anger, the hurt so you feel like you are living again.
Craig’s words have been so inspirational to me, guided me and have taught me how realigning my thoughts gets my life back on track.
Michael stop hurting yourself and people around you and deal with your anger. You need to learn and feel how lucky you are to have such helpful advice available by someone who is not judging or criticising but cares and just wants to help.
Sooo glad to have Craig along my journey.
Hi Everyone. Thanks for all your feedback. I’ll be a little sporadic with my input this week (and next) as I’m traversing this vast continent of ours (doing some corporate work). I’ll still be posting and checking in on comments and feedback, so keep them coming. I’m in Melbourne today, Sydney tomorrow, Perth Wednesday, Adelaide Thursday and back to Melbourne on Friday!
Group hug x
TO KEK … YOU ROCK! You hit that one right on the head mate. Good for you on your weekend win also
I’m just starting to realise this. For so long I’ve cared what people thought and living my life the way I “should” be. But the only thing that’s important is that I’m true to myself and I need to keep focusing on that. Thanks for the great article Craig
HI CH
Adelaide on Thursday.
Coffee??
[...] Living in Alignment [...]
Perth on Wednesday Craig,
All the best! Great post as well.
Wow. Thank you. Looks like I’ve got myself in a situation where I’m wanting approval from someone who approves of people who don’t look for approval. I love you Craig. Keep on not being a people-pleaser, or whatever it is you’re doing.
Julila – well said
It is not easy to be an individual. Jesus was. Look what happend!
(ps not pushing religion ok)
Yep absolutely agree 100%. I just got dumped from a year long relationship which involved me giving away all my power and compromising all of my standards, morals, beliefs and values. Like you said, i didnt do it on purpose, didnt even really see it happening. And then you wake up one day and your partner is throwing everything into your suitcase whilst in the middle of south africa and telling you to *&^% off out of his life. Leaving me bewildered at the time….i quickly came to see that the reason he had done this was so that he could go back to living HIS authentic life…..cheating on me with young girls half his age to boost his inflated demented ego.
A bit shell shocked at first…but now i realise that i FINALLY have myself back. I was speeding down a track that had me so derailed i didnt even recognise myself in the mirror.
Lesson learnt!! Thanks for bringing this difficult subject to the forefront Craig
artemis your advice is not welcome. Craig’s is. Don’t judge me based on a blog post, you don’t know. Live in alignment with your own goals and values and mind your own.
Hi Roz – in Brisbane often but just to do corporate gigs. I’ll let you know when I’m running one of my programs.
TG – sorry, can’t.
In late, out early. Next time.
Thanks for all your contributions everyone
x
You know – I love those days when you just “pop by” to see what’s happening in CH world and it’s something that just leaves you sitting back and thinking “how’d you get in my head?” I know lots of us have these moments but sitting here reading tonight was a big one for me.
A few months ago I started a new job knowing it was time for a change. Though now I find myself between a rock and a hard place – my new position is no better than the old, and to my great sadness, I have realised that all it is doing for me is sapping my energy and soul. All I’ve ever wanted deep in my gut is to help people – though the old same old excuses stopped me from getting there – all those outer influences and voices had gotten in the way of me understanding HOW I want and can help people (even though I’ve been that person for the people in my life up to this point – ironic isn’t it?). So today it all came to a head and I cried, no – I BAWLED and saw what I had become, a ball of living fear – and heartbroken for letting myself get there. So sitting there with someone dear to my heart (who has shared my journey in non-judgement), terrified, decided that fear was not going to rule me and that I’m going to face it head on and say BRING IT ON!!
So, I’m not waiting til after I’ve completed my courses to find an opportunity, I’m going to do it now. I’m still not quite sure how, but even if it is using the office background to start at a desk job and work my way through – I am going to start that journey NOW! No more waiting and compromising.
And though I am still scared, having made the decision and set some deadlines for it (including accountability for sticking to it), my soul already feels a little lighter, more loved and like I’m moving on the right path again.
Love your work Craig xx
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