Busy for What?
Does your life seem a little chaotic? Frantic even? Do you constantly feel like you’re up to your neck in commitments, obligations, appointments, expectations and stuff? Are you always rushing from one thing to the next? Does your ‘to-do’ list seem to be ever-expanding? And, most importantly, in the middle of all this productivity, busy-ness, box-ticking, rushing and achieving… are you happy? Content? Calm?
Just asking. 
Maybe happiness, contentment and calm don’t live there: in the fast lane.
Perhaps the Eagles were trying to teach us something when they sang:
“Life in the fast lane, surely makes you lose your mind.”
Musicians, songwriters and philosophers. Who knew?
Smart… to a Point
Having goals, creating plans, setting timelines and taking action is smart. But only to a point. Sometimes, joy is found in the absence of strategy. The absence of structure. And even, the absence of (what appears to be) logic. You and I don’t live at a destination, we live in the journey and if that journey is one of constant chaos and anxiety, we’re missing the point and something needs to change. Calm and chaos can’t co-exist. Neither can happiness and chaos. Some occasional mayhem is fine. Constant mayhem, not fine.
More times than not, happiness lives in the simple. The quiet. The uncomplicated. The peaceful. Maybe another app for our Iphone is not what we’re lacking after all?
And while common sense and life experience tell us that there will always be an element of the chaotic and the unpredictable in our world, it’s our inner voice – the emotional and spiritual intelligence which lives in all of us - that pleads with us to find some regular calm. Some space. Some stillness.
Sometimes, Grasshoppers, less is more.
Where Happiness Isn’t
When we look for something (happiness, joy, peace, contentment) in the wrong place, it doesn’t matter how diligently we look or how hard we work, we won’t find it. When all our working, chasing, striving, pushing and achieving doesn’t equate to happiness then perhaps it’s time for us to step into the slow lane?
For a while, anyway. 
So, where (and what) is the Slow Lane for you? How do you step out of the chaos? Love to hear your thoughts, ideas and stories.
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{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes, we need to enjoy the journey on the way to our goals otherwise we end up missing out on much of life’s enjoyment. I think for highly motivated people, they can really struggle to slow things down a bit and end up getting burned out.
Tree-, sky-, bee-, wind-, wildflower-, night-, autumn-……. gazing.
Great article. Totally agree with everything that you are saying. I think that people need to start making the asociation in their brains that this chaos is actually good otherwise stress will eat you up. We are not meant to live like this under this constant pressure but most of us have to. Ways to reframe chaos are
1) Seeing it as a challenge
2) Seeing it as feeling alive
3)Dwelling and appreciating the uncertainty
4) Seeing it as opportunities to grow, to expand and to be all that you can be.
…and then just taking some quality relaxation time!
Immerse myself…….’swimming in the slow lane’. You should try it one day Craig. I can find you a great instructor to teach you how to swim or do some water therapy.
The slow lane is . . . taking an occasional nap on Sunday afternoon regardless of the to-do list. Going hiking in the great outdoors. Sitting on the grass in my yard, listening to the breeze rustle through the reeds and feeling the warmth of the sun on my face. Reading a good book. Watching a funny movie. Dinner with friends. Taking a long, luxurious bubble bath.
stormchasing in the USA for 5 weeks…can’t do anything except what we are there for…no bills, no routine, no housework
, just seeing different parts of the world and doing what I love
Craig Harper – personal trainer, motivational speaker, RYB RYL guru… and spiritual master??? I am liking it
Thanks for the reminder to slow down and also for the thought provoking questions.
And the slow lane for me this week will be an intimate dinner and a lovely movie with my beloved man on Friday night. That is how I will step out of chaos this week and just enjoy a little “one on one” time with someone I love.
No kidding! Six kids, homeschooling, and a husband that owns his own business! I’m not a naturally organized person so being overwhelmed is common for me. I don’t know if I’ll ever figure out how to get it all under control (one of the reasons I’m reading your posts). My days often seem chaotic. For me…..happiness just has to be a state of mind…sometimes in the midst of the chaos.
I love this topic. Like so many people I spend a lot more time thinking about my slow lane happy place (think Happy Gilmore lol) than being in it…that said when I’m there it’s just awesome…thinking about it just now I have a few:
> watching my kids when they are doing something creative (like last night they were playing (?) with a huntsman spider on the trampoline running around crazy like they had just trapped a hungry lion)
) blogs with a coffee
> lying on the bed listening to my daughter practice her piano
> doing weights in the gym with motivated people
> when I go for a run in the hills and then decide to just stop and look around – listen, smell, see – and then go again. I find that short burst of life stays with me for hours.
> walking down the first fairway after a crisp drive (golfers will know)
> those rare moments after you have just finished something BIG like an exam, an important presentation or a busy day when you just relax and enjoy the aftermath
> realising that the change which was going to be so difficult, uncomfortable, challenging wasn’t so bad after all
> anytime you feel like you’ve just read one of those signposts of life that says “Hey! You are going the RIGHT way !!”…
> writing, reflecting, pondering, learning
> reading Craig’s (and CJ’s
…you’ll note there is not a lot of work related slow-lane happiness here…working on it.
And if I’m understanding this correctly this process of contemplating those places that give us a positive emotional state (well being) is actually quite therepeutic in itself. Nice.
Have a great day all.
Sometimes people are in the fast lane to avoid slowing down in case they may get a glimpse of themselves and their lives…..
Slowing down for me recently was a week at the beach (beautiful and relaxing all on it’s own), a week away from blogging (missed it though and even wrote a post about why I wasn’t blogging/ go figure ) and some reflective reading.
My reflective reading was specifically a book called Eat, Pray, Love. What a beautiful amazing absorbing book !!
Anyhow, I totally agree with your reflections Craig – absolutely.
The journey is so much better with a few detours down the slow lane. Chaos Road has way too much traffic already.
cheers,
Mon
I think allowing yourself to live in the slow lane (or at least visit it now and then) may need some or all of the following:
-staying in the present moment (as Wombat obviously was, during his amazing list of slow lane activities)
-not apologising or explaining yourself to anyone! This is really important because you can find yourself trying to live up to other people’s expectations, and creating ‘busyness’ just to appear successful (particularly important when you run your own business)
-appreciating all the wonderful things in your life. I think that sometimes really frantic people are searching for something which they probably already have. If you take the time to ‘count your blessings’ it’s amazing how good life really is (no, this is not an Oprah moment, it’s actually true!)
Thanks Craig for another thought-provoking start to the day!
I use Wednesdays as my ” goof-off” day.
I try not to commit to anything on these days. I close the blinds,dont turn the computer on, watch a day-time movie or DVD , dont answer the phone (either of them), and just chill out.
Not every Wednesday but i try for once a fortnight at least.
being in the slow lane is not about doing anything. quite the opposite in fact. it is however about feeling and being in the now. being open to and acknowledging to ourself the sights sounds and smells of life with no expectation other than just being there. the fast lane on the other hand is about doing. it is only about doing. when we balance doing and being in the right order we achieve balance and then we feel the contentment that we call happiness.
Ahh I haven’t logged on in ages and this article just fits me today!
I had a really bad burn out due to work pressures about 2 weeks ago – I haven’t been exercising since about the start of August – I am gaining weight and I honestly don’t even know what I have been eating since that time if that makes sense?
So last night I decide tomorrow is a new day and I WILL slow down, and I WILL make my health and wellbeing my number one priority.
So true Craig, happiness can only come from within, in any situation, but we keep looking outside because we don’t believe it.
If we’d just let go of the steering wheel of life, release the resistance and instead follow the flow, happiness would be there, in that moment and there on in, waiting with bells on
xo
Hey Craig, my whole life is one long exercise in chaos and often I have to laugh at the lunacy while going like a cut cat. The good part is I have finally learned how to schedule in a stint in the slow lane and just let everything else wait. We go for long drives in the country, find a nice spa to sit in or just sit in the sun in the park watching the swans or the ducks. Driving across the Nullabor was probably the best bit of slow lane I’ve done so far
Am currently looking for an opening to change lanes 
Last year my Family went through a very traumatic time,
I went and had numerous counselling sessions and all that stuff,
But the thing that carried me through the most,
“Chickens”
Five little fluffy day old chickens, I have an old cubby house in the back yard which I made their home. a lamp for warmth,
when I needed time to escape the chaos that was going on.
They were my “slow life” seems crazy but the more you talk to them
the better the therapy,
best part is now I have my own home grown eggs.
Afterall we are human “beings” not human “doings”. The slow lane is very appealing right now. After reading your blog I went for a really really slow walk on the beach – it was a challenge but very nice! Thanks for the reminder Craig!
Dear Craig,
A few years ago I was in an extra fast lane. Things were happening before I knew it. I was working 20 hour days, did not have time to eat, sleep and go to the bathroom. And I was thoroughly enjoying what I was doing – up to the point that I felt real, tangible, almost orgasmic satisfaction from all my activities. After two months of such speed, I ended up in an emergency room with the diagnosis of “complete organism exhaustion”.
Fast forward a year later – I was unemployed and unemployable – my health was wrecked, I would snap at people for no reason, and everything, absolutely everything irritated me – from the sound of my father’s footsteps to the smell of freshly cooked pasta.
And then a miracle happened. I got a job in a different country. A country where I knew absolutely no one, did not speak their language and had no idea what I was signing myself for. I took the job and ended up in a small town, where nothing, absolutely nothing was happening. The job was a joke – I did absolutely nothing and nothing really mattered and no one really cared. The life was a joke – how long can you go on doing nothing? Nevertheless, I figured out that was exactly the break that I needed. Gradually, my anxiety fits faded away, I could maintain coherent conversations with strangers again. I started making friends and acquaintances, I finally met a nice man who contributed immensely to my prolonged state of happiness.
And even though I understand that all this is just a temporary condition, and tomorrow or the day after tomorrow it is going to come to an end, I am still very thankful for the experience – of living in a slow, very slow lane. And tempered climate.
Best of luck to you
Vida
Hi Craig,
been there done that. I had such a chaotic lifestyle that I didn’t make room for creating my happiness. I was brought up to believe that as long as your husband and family were happy thats what happiness was all about. I made sure I was always available for everyone’s needs and commitments.
I had to end up in a burnout to realise I should of slowed down. I should of listened to my body, enjoy life. Instead of always rushing around. I did have signs and I was also told by my acupuncturist but I was too busy running around to take any notice.
Now I have learnt to be there for me and my family. How slowing down allows you to feel like you are enjoying and living life with peace inside.
We shouldn’t wait until the right moment comes or have a crisis to realise our happiness should be the most important thing in life.
Self help books and tutors are trying to teach us how to be happy when really the decision(s) are really up to us to stop and make better choices.
Life in the slow lane isn’t a choice for me. When I try to do too much I end up in hospital. The solution is to try and find contentment in any activity I’m involved in, no matter what it is. Even though my life is slow anyway, I still like watching water, rain, a river or the sea, or looking at plants and trees, and light especially sunshine, there’s something about it that I like. Another thing I like is time with cats, dogs and horses, there’s no “side” to them and they give affection generously.
Hi craig, happy birthday. and thank you for being yourself and teaching me so much.
My slow lane is actually walking in the bush with my ishuffle playing something soft and meaningful. Plus I get the added benefit that its helping me bring my weight down while filling my mind with a peace and stillness I dont get anywhere else.
And Happy Birthday to you. Thanks for being there and making us all have a think occasionally about what really matters.
What is life in essence?
It is not much more than me, the ‘I’, moving from A to B….to move C to D!
Should I think I AM more than that?
If I do…. the light fades!
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