If you know me, then you know that, as a rule, I don’t promote anything. I rarely recommend books, programs or workshops. Not that there aren’t some great resources around, it’s just that I choose not to endorse much unless it blows my socks off and it has made a significant impact on me personally. So I’m sitting here sockless because I have just had a sock-removing experience. The source of that experience was a film written and directed by Sean Penn called ‘Into the Wild’. I have seen over a thousand films in my life and this rates in my all-time top three. Ever. If you haven’t seen it, see it. If you have, let me know what you thought. On with today’s Post…
Ever noticed how us humans inevitably travel the full circle? Kinda obvious really. Arrive on planet earth, walk around in our physical body for seventy or eighty years, get a job, have a few relationships, do some stuff, wear some bad clothes, watch some TV and then go elsewhere.
Or maybe nowhere, depending on your beliefs I guess.
Alright, there’s a little more to it than that, but essentially, we come into the world with nothing, leave with nothing, and most of us spend several decades in between frantically trying to accumulate ‘stuff’; qualifications, careers, assets, money, properties – what we ignorantly call, wealth.
We all want ‘success’, and on some level most of us believe that success is about how much we can ‘get’. Directly or indirectly, consciously or not, we’re taught from an early age that success is about the acquiring of financial wealth. That’s the message we hear over and over again, so how could we know or believe anything else?
“Hey, look at what I’ve done with my life, I’ve accumulated all these things; I’m a success.”
“Oh, we’re so proud of David, he’s a Doctor now (tick), drives a beautiful new BMW (another tick), and is dating a gorgeous young Lawyer from a good family (bingo).”
Tick, tick, tick… jackpot mum (mom) and dad, your son really is a success!
The fact that he’s a selfish, arrogant, rude pain in the ass doesn’t matter. As long as you can tell your friends at the country club about his ‘success’ (Doctor, Lawyer, BMW), life is good. After all, we know that success is not about what kind of person your son is, or what he might give back to the world, but rather, what he can get from it. You’ve gotta look after number one, ’cause nobody else will. Yep, all about Numero Uno.
The irony of ‘wealth’ is that some of the people with the most money are the poorest, and some with virtually nothing are wealthy beyond comprehension. Depends on how we define wealth doesn’t it?
Not gonna hear this statement too often: “Our son makes a minimum wage, didn’t finish college and drives a piece of crap, but he’s a caring, loving, generous person who’s always happy, so we’re really proud of who he is.”
Contemporary Western culture and thinking tells us that success is dependant on what we can accumulate in a lifetime; our ability to create wealth. What we can get. When questioned about it, we profess otherwise because we don’t want to sound shallow, but look at how we (the collective we) live in modern society. We are indeed, the ‘accumulation generation’. A population driven by greed and an insatiable appetite for possessions. A bunch of people who have totally bought into the ‘wealth equals happiness’ paradigm, despite a mountain of evidence to the contrary.
If you need proof of the mainstream view on ‘success’, check out virtually any book, program or CD on the topic. Most of them could go under the generic title of ‘How to Get Stuff 101′. If you’re up for a challenge, try selling the notion of success being about ‘giving’, as opposed to ‘getting’. Good luck peddling that to the ‘Get Rich Quick’ brigade.
As a society, we talk the ‘philosophy and the theology talk’, but we don’t walk it. We like to think of ourselves as spiritual, generous and philanthropic, because it makes us feel good. But we are frauds. We’re generous while others are watching, philanthropic when it’s a tax deduction, strategically kind when there’s something in it for us, insincerely sincere, and super spiritual when it suits us. All the while, we continue to buy, lend, cheat, lie, over-eat and cosmetically enhance our way to ‘success and happiness’. Or what we think will make us happy anyway.
Consider a charity worker who earns a minimal wage, has helped thousands of people over the years, has given away most of what she owns, is a little overweight and has been happily married to the same man for thirty five years.
Now compare her to Donald Trump.
Who’s the success story? Who would the vast majority of people trade places with? Honestly?
“Oh yes, but if I had all his money, I’d be different. I’d use it to change the world.”
Sure you would Pinocchio.
Why does mainstream society and typical thinking consider Donald Trump to be a success? Because he makes shit loads of money. Full stop. We can rationalise it however we like, but it still comes down to the same thing; our complete reverence for money and what we believe it will bring us.
Nothing wrong with money or being wealthy, except when it defines us. Except when it’s our reason for being. Except when we derive our sense of self-worth from it.
If Donald Trump was the exact same person (physically), but he had grown up in another ‘reality’, had worked in a fishing store his whole life, had very little money and had been happily married to Wilma the pastry chef for forty years, who would put up their hand to swap realities with big Don then?
Er, hello?
Exactly.
Because nobody actually wants to be him, they just want all his stuff.
Despite what we (we the society) say, despite our overt religiosity and simulated spirituality, despite our philosophy of convenience, despite our alleged new-found, self-awareness and despite all the ‘progress’ we’ve made as a species on this big blue ball, it seems that with some things, we still don’t really ‘get it’.
Hopefully one day we will.
* I apologise for the somewhat sombre tone of this post, but I am passionate and sincere about every word I’ve written. I realise that it isn’t my normal uplifting, motivational, make-you-laugh style, but I think that sometimes a little reflection, honesty and philosophy is called for. I know that some of you won’t enjoy this discussion because it ain’t the usual laugh-fest, that’s okay; I’ll do my best to amuse you tomorrow. I also know that there are many of you who don’t fit into the self-centred, money-driven mindset and lifestyle I’ve spoken about today, so don’t be offended. I’m not talking about you personally, but rather a ‘financial wealth equals success’ mindset that pervades our generation, our society.
I also want to make it clear that I’m not at all against anyone striving for and achieving amazing success with their career and their ability to create financial wealth. In fact, I believe much can be learned from some of our most ‘successful’ entrepreneurs and business leaders. I respect people who have succeeded on a professional level but not when that success is at the cost of physical health, emotional health, spiritual health, family and friends. Not when their ‘success’ starts and finishes with their bank account.
What I am against is the ever-present mentality in our society which teaches our young people that an individual’s level of success, self-worth and ability to be happy, will ultimately be determined by their level of financial wealth.
To be more like Donald and less like the charity worker.
Let me know your thoughts. Click on the comment thingy.
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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Craig,
I’m sorry, do think you’re a bit negative here. I personally would trade with the charity worker without a doubt, and no, I’m not saying that because it’s fashionable or anything.
(Note: that is if I would have to choose; I would always choose my own life, friends, etc above any other).
And, I’m sure I’m not alone with this.. Not to go completely idealistic on you (I hope
), but people like the Dalai Lama, who in fact teaches that possession can indeed stand in the way of your compassion and general view on life, people like him do have a significant (if not enormous) group of people that support these views. Not that everyone puts all possession aside, but acknowledging that there’s more to life, that there is more to gain with trading in some egoism for altruism, is something that is supported by many. Also in the western society!!
And for the people who don’t, who do live life in pursuit of stuff, of gaining more and more: whatever makes them happy right?
Because, I’m really not sure everyone needs to (or can get) ‘it’.
If that BWM makes them happy, well good for them…
Hi Ellen.
I don’t think I’m being negative, just realistic… and you and I can disagree and still be friends!! I know that there are many people who think like you and I, but if we step back and take a look at how the MAJORITY of people in our countries live, think and behave… then I think we’d find that many people can’t even spell Dalai Lama let alone live his values and/or lifestyle. I also wouldn’t assume that people who say they ‘support’ certain views or philosophies necessarily LIVE the life.
I’m glad you’d trade with charity worker, me too but I believe we would both be in the absolute minority.
And as for the BMW!!!
Thanks for sharing Ellen.
Cheers.
Craig
You know it’s funny, the only people I ever hear saying that success and money aren’ t important are the one’s that have it.
I have not once heard or even seen anyone who was happy and satisfied without either of these things. All I see is people who’s lives may be a little easier if they had these things. Come to think of it, when I look around at the people I know , I have never seen so many underachievers in my life.
Sometimes I fantasize about being like a female version of hugh heifner but with softer skin and minus the viagra cause I don’t need it. With all that money and success I could get all the boys. All those men that yelled abuse at me, spat at me from cars and that never wanted me because of my fat ass would definitely want me after all the liposuction and cosmetic surgery. Sure they would only be with me for the money, fame and my huge breasts (which of course are real) but who cares, I’ll be living it up all the way to my grave. I’d be using them as much as they were using me. If heifner can keep a harem so can I. How controversial would that be? Maybe he can get away with having those 3 girlfriends but I think I would need at least 4 or 5 boyfriends cause you know, it’s harder to please a woman.
Now I think about it, deep down I don’t believe that what I really want is lots of success and money, I think I just want to make trouble.
Ange
Hi Craig,
thanks!
My point was in no way meant to argue with you, or imply any unfriendly attitude.. sorry if it came across too strong, writing in another language makes it difficult sometimes to get the right feeling across..
I think you have a wonderful blog, with a inspiring, funny and positive spirit!
And maybe my view is a bit unrealistic, I’m a fundraiser myself, my blog focuses on positive change, so my virtual and real life communities may be more focused on people that ‘think alike’.
But, being a fundraiser and marketeer, I do see a change over the years. The ‘youth’ nowadays are becoming more and more involved, more and more interested in things other than possessions. Books from people like the Dalai Lama, movies on compassion and personal growth are more ‘in fashion’ nowadays. And that definitely is a good thing!
They still may not count for the majority, but a change is visible..
warm wishes to you,
Ellen
Hi Ellen.
No need to apologise… I love you thoughts and your writing.
Peace.
Hey Ange. Yep, I could se you and your five boys making pleny of trouble.
Funny girl.
Shit Yeh, I wanted The Big Don’s life and all his cash too…..I was happily married but still dreamed of how much happier we would be with loads of money.
Unfortunately my wife is not here anymore and all The Big Guys cash can’t bring her back.
The light switch finally came on….money has got nothing to do with Happiness!!!
Hey Craig,
I do agree with what you write here. I wouldn’t define a person’s success by their job title or wealth status! I look at ARE THEY HAPPY, and ARE THEIR WAYS TO BE HAPPY well, legal I spose! Back to the dating thing, – potentials would need to have personality, drive and ambition I think amongst it, – but what type of job or car they have doesn’t bother me as long as they can live within their means and are driven toward something, (by that not have an aimless sloth like TV playstation existance).
If you get a chance, (ít’s not that exciting) LOL I have some comparison pics of me in my latest blog post, the top two of me today, the bottom two of me late Sept in Broome. I can see and feel a bit of a difference. The Broome ones are me at ALL TIME FATTEST.
Since Broome I’ve been nowhere near as consistent or disciplined as I could have been but in general have at least avoided much bingeing and in general have exercised more self control, – your posts help!
Anyway I’ve revved to step it up another notch now LOL.
Pip
Hey Darrell (Dash).
If anyone knows what ‘real wealth’ is, it’s you. Hope you’re travelling well big fella. Talk soon.
Cheers and man hug ( )
PS How’s that PT business going?
Hi Pip.
Took a peek at your pics.. great work!! You’re doing amazing – keep it up and keep me updated on your progress. You looked like you’ve dropped plenty. Well done.
Cheers.
Hi Craig,
This is the first time that i do not share your views. I have recently had a mindset turn around as i always had a poverty mindset and thought that i didn’t want for much. This is why i don’t have much. I am a very happy energetic person and have a fabulous life. My mindset has changed to prosperity now and i believe that i am worth more that what i currently have. I now have a strong belief that you can have money and still be a fabulous person. As long as you are wealthy in all other areas of your life also – health, love, emotions, etc. Most of the wealthy people i have been studying are very happy and very generous to many charities. Why can’t we have the best life possible? You don’t have to skyte about it, but you can definately be proud of what you have accomplished, enjoy it and help those around you who are less fortunate.
I am definately looking forward to my new found mind set and for achieving more and more wealth in all areas of my life in the near future. I am hoping that people like yourself will help me to achieve this.
Dee
Hi Dee.
I was concerned this would happen with this post. You need to really read what I have written. I said there is NOTHING WRONG with having financial wealth as a goal, except when it’s your ONLY goal. Except when it defines you.
You said:
“I now have a strong belief that you can have money and still be a fabulous person. As long as you are wealthy in all other areas of your life also – health, love, emotions, etc.
I said:
“I also want to make it clear that I’m not at all against anyone striving for and achieving amazing success with their career and their ability to create financial wealth. In fact, I believe much can be learned from some of our most ‘successful’ entrepreneurs and business leaders. I respect people who have succeeded on a professional level but not when that success is at the cost of physical health, emotional health, spiritual health, family and friends. Not when their ‘success’ starts and finishes with their bank account.”
Enjoy your day Dee.
Hi craig.
You say in your last paragraph that you think it’s the younger people who are taught this way of thinking- its ours too.!!!
I look around at people I know in their 30/40 somethings and see how much pain having to have EVERYTHING causes.
The bigger house, the expensive car, the blown out credit card and of course the bigger mortgage that cant handle a quarter of a % interest rise. I see families where both parents work long hours and have their kids in daycare, not because they NEED to, to meet day to day living , but so that they can still afford the luxuries that they bought into before they had children.
Heaven forbid, we let those little short people change our lives!
Some one else looks after their kids, and maybe “ someone else” is looking after their partner. Pure bliss. Oh, Im over simplifying am I? Well, what creates intimacy? My answer is – hanging out and spending quality time together. What happens if the intimacy goes? Bye bye….
This topic gets me fired up in the same way as your marriage post from last week did.
Im going to go now and have a cold shower and think about how lucky I am that I have everything I need. ( oh, except I response to the email I sent to you)
Hmph.
elroy
Hi Elroy.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Oops. Sorry about the email.
I get over 500 emails a week via the site – so I have a few logistical issues answering them all!
If you like, call me on 9553 8857 after 2.30 today, or any weekday, I’ll answer your questions and we’ll chat.
Cheers.
Hi Craig. I totally get what you’re saying. I think some people are not reading your post with an open mind. I think they are misinterpreting or don’t actually understand what you’ve written. It makes complete sense to me.
Thanks.
I grew up in an environment of moderate wealth obtained through my parents and grandparents sweat, blood and tears.
My grandfather once told me it didnt matter what you did for a living, provided you put 100% into that endevour.
“if you wanna sweep gutters for the rest of your life, be the best damn gutter sweeper on this planet”.
Simple words, but something I have lived by.
It funny how people mark themselves by the job/income/suburb/car.
Too often I hear “im JUST a labourer” “I only live in (insert suburb” “we only drive a beat up falcon”
On the other side of town its all upbeat “Im a lawyer” “we live in XXX”
all of the justs and only’s have been taken out.
I did a stint as a young bloke as a labourer, earnt great money, kept fit, but still was “just a labourer”
Im pretty grounded and by societies standards successful. My friends are diverse, some rich some poor. Black and white.
Its that diversification which makes me who I am, and its those things which I use to judge the person I am.
By the way, I am 13kg lighter than when I first posted a month or so back. More importantly I am healthier and fitter. Long road to travel.
Cheers
Max
Hi Craig
This piece is truly one of your best pieces. I totally agree with your thoughts and comments. It is everywhere we look. “people judging other people, themselves, their children, neighbours, cousins, colleagues, friends, enemies, strangers, movie stars (where do I stop)on their career and financial success. I too, haven’t been privy to any (I’m being too harsh here, maybe one or two)conversations where someone is assess on their inner and personal qualities. Far too often, a persons success is measured by the uni degree or job title or material status….who the hell cares, I’ve learn’t that nothing matters but your and your family / friend health and happiness, everything else is bullshit.
Sorry Craig, this has turned out as long as your blogs….keep them coming, you are my inspiration!
Gullu
Like yer stuff craig!(first time response, newish reader!!)
A good ending to this article would ave been
“The Paradox of Our Age”) from xivth Dalai Lama(is that how ya spell it?….. only joking!)
” We have bigger houses, but smaller families
More conveniences but less time
We have more degrees, but less sense
More knowledge, but less judgements
more experts, but more problems
more medecines, but less healthiness
Weve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the road to meet the new neighbour
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication
We have become long on quantity, but short on quality
These are times of fast food but slow digestion,
tall man but short character
steep profits but shallow relationships
It is a time when there is much in the window but ‘nuthin’ in the room
could na put it better meself!!
Jamo (in sydney)
Hey Seb.
Thanks.
Hi Gullu.
Thanks for your kind words, I’ll do my best.
Peace.
Hey Jamo.
Thanks for dropping by and for sharing that wisdom.
Nice.
Cheers.
Hi Craig, just saw ‘Into the Wild’ this weekend as well and there is so much to think about with this movie!! I would say more but it would give away stuff to others who perhaps want to see it. I’m planning on reading the book as well. Very cool that Chris’ folks allowed the movie to be made, that says a lot about what they have learned and are willing to share as parents from so tragic an experience. Cheers! Alane, St Louis, MO USA
Ahhhhh… Craig
Very nice profound piece.
This forum fits me.
Did you know the Relay for Life is a charity organization to raise funds for cancer research?
Cancer; non-discriminatory, non-prejudice, non-relenting, non-boundary limited cancer.
In 2006, it was a record breaking year for RFL.
We rose over $375 million!
Of course, it took over 3 million volunteers and 4,600 relays; worldwide.
But still quite an accomplishment.
And as I see the strides in cancer research, I am amazed and hopeful.
Never thought in my lifetime, there would be a vaccine for a cancer strand…
Phenomenal!
And who hasn’t been closely touched in some form or fashion?
But what gets my “closet activist’s” blood pressure up is the blatant disregard for humanity.
I don’t get how some people are just so ridiculous money
like washing their hair with Evian, while some children go without water to drink…
But recently (Friday to be exact),
Sotheby’s auction sold a lion figurine for $57 million!
It is made of limestone and is 3.25 inches tall.
(yeah, bigger than a Polly Pocket but smaller than a Beanie Baby, more like a Star Wars action figure, but a lot less fun.)
I don’t think I will ever get the true value of a figurine that benefits no one…
I mean, even the sculptor isn’t benefiting
He died like 5,000 years ago.
Not when that money could save millions of lives…
Think about it…
Every 13 minutes a women dies of breast cancer,
so how many died during the Sotheby’s auction?
Insanity.
It just seems to me if you have money to toss away,
Toss it into a worthwhile direction…
And head to Target for the Boba Fett action figure.
That’s all.
()
Tami
Thanks for letting me vent…
Hey Craig!
Is this the movie connected to the Eddie Vedder song Big Hard Sun? I saw the film clip one night (couldn’t sleep… watched Rage) this video clip came on and after three minutes I had tears in my eyes!) I’ve been raving about this clip for about a month now…. I’ve been hoping that the clips have been taken from a movie. If they have I am ‘so’ going to see it! I’m glad it moved you bigfella
BTW Happiest person I know lives on nearly no $ per week on a permaculture farm. Has time to sit and think, and do all the important stuff with his family. One day I’ll join him.
Cheers,
Greg
Yes, yes and YES! I want to say more to convey how I’m feeling having read this but don’t have the words. Let’s just say, I REALLY agree with you and I wish more people could see it your way.
http://www.lighteningonline.com
I really appreciate the content of this post. Kinda refreshing to see that some people understand whats really valuable in this world.