To all my friends, readers and cyber-family in Queensland and Northern NSW, I don’t really know what to say except that I have watched your plight on TV every day with tears in my eyes and your amazing attitude, courage and resilience is nothing short of inspirational. We can all learn from you. Your welfare and safety is constantly on my mind and in my heart. Be safe, be brave and be well. Love to you all. Craig xxx
There’s What in That Box?
Yesterday, I had a coffee with a friend of mine who is in the middle of moving house. Well, to be totally accurate, she’s moving house contents; the actual house is staying put. It’s fair to say that she’s a little stressed with the task at hand and somewhat overwhelmed with the mountain of stuff she didn’t realise she had accumulated over the last decade. Or so. For the last week she’s been finding things she didn’t even vaguely remember she owned and, amazingly, she still has three rooms to go!
Scary.
A Giving Lesson
She did, however, share with me that she has found it incredibly rewarding, fulfilling and enjoyable to give away lots of her things to people who need them more than her. Part of that process was instructing each of her three children to pick ten of their favourite toys to give away to kids less fortunate than them. Yes, I said favourite toys. And that’s ten toys each. She is now very excited about moving into her new less-chaotic and less-cluttered home while doing some good at the same time. I think it’s significant that she consciously taught her kids a lesson about a type of giving that hurts a little. Giving away unwanted junk requires no effort or sacrifice.
When it comes to holding onto things we don’t need, I’m pretty sure my friend is not on her own. We’ve all done it – me included. Having said that, you never know when my three Lava Lamps and lace-up Ugg boots might come in handy.
Just saying. 
The Accumulation Nation
As a professional people watcher, it seems to me that Australia (and I suspect a few other countries) is something of an accumulation nation. We sure love acquiring stuff. And keeping stuff we don’t need. And storing stuff we’ve long forgotten about. We’ve got shoes we haven’t worn since the eighties, records without a record player, boxes full of who-knows-what, report cards from 1972 and horrible presents we’ve never even taken out of the box. But we keep it all just in case.
Yep, if there was a Useless-Shit Museum, many of us could fill it all by ourselves.
Keeping What We Don’t Use or Need
So, maybe for some of us it’s time to rid our lives, homes and space of stuff we simply don’t need? If you’re like most people living in a first world country then your home probably contains a huge amount of things that you never think about, never use, never need and curiously, never get rid of. I have no figures on it but my guess is that most of us don’t use at least fifty percent of the stuff in our homes.
Everyone I’ve spoken with who has down-sized and de-cluttered raves about the experience. “There’s less to clean, less to worry about, less to accommodate, less to insure and less to distract me from what really matters – all things non-material” is the common feedback.
Sounds like wisdom to me.
Of course we need stuff (on a practical level) but the obvious questions are (1) how much stuff do we really need? and (2) at what stage do we say enough is too much? It’s my experience and observation that happiness (the universal goal) never comes from hoarding or collecting and almost always comes from giving – an ironic observation when we consider that we’re constantly being ‘taught’ that success is about getting.
When it Comes to De-Cluttering There are Two Categories:
1. The stuff that might be valuable and useful to someone else (appliances, clothes, furniture, toys, books, etc.).
2. Crap.
Let me know if I’m getting too technical for you and I’ll slow it down a little.
I recently gave a bunch of not-really-needed-by-me-but-valuable-to-someone-else stuff away and it was definitely a win-win experience. Good for the giver, good for the receivers. That one simple exercise provided mental, emotional, practical and financial benefits. I felt great because I was de-cluttering my life (home) and helping some people on a practical level and they were happy because my stuff meant they wouldn’t be under such financial pressure to find the money for certain things.
A Few De-Cluttering Thoughts, Ideas and Suggestions:
- More often than not, more stuff equals more stress
- If you haven’t used it or worn it the last twelve months you probably don’t need it
- You’re never gonna read those books again, so give them away
- Be more strategic and less emotional
- Girls – no, you don’t need all those shoes – let it go
- Boys – no, you don’t need all that crap in your garage
- Less clutter equals more peace
- Don’t be competitive about your purchases and don’t buy what you don’t need
- If you can afford it, give your un-needed things away (rather than sell them)
- Don’t look for your identity, approval or self-esteem in your things
- Focus more on building your internal assets
- Have lunch with a Buddhist Monk
- Talk to someone with a terminal disease about what stuff matters
- When possible, give anonymously
- Give away (or throw out) one thing every day for the rest of 2011
So…
I’m certainly no expert on this topic but today I thought I would open the door on this conversation and then throw the floor open to you. I would appreciate your thoughts, tips, ideas and experiences when it comes to down-sizing, de-cluttering and minimalising. Over the next month or so, I’m going to give this concept more consideration in my world because I would love to create or get involved in some kind of program whereby people like you and I can strategically downsize, de-clutter and consciously help others at the same time. You may have some suggestions?
Seems like a worthwhile idea.
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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh yeah! Love it!
Unfortunately when it comes to my kids and their toys…it is a very painful extraction process. So I find there is less of my stuff and more of theirs as the years go on. Having said that, after the bushfires in 2009, they sat out on our footpath and sold some of their toys to raise money for the bushfire appeal – I was so proud of them.
The only problems I have in the de-cluttering process is:
- finding the time to do it
- eliminating paperwork, most of which is only kept for tax/legal purposes…blow the ATO!!!
Hey Craig,
I often declutter and I do find it better to give than to receive. Having just had my dad diagnosed with terminal cancer I definitely understand what is more important in life, its just sad that it often takes such a shit set of circumstances to make us realise it. I couldnt give a crap about big screen tvs or having the latest car, I only wish for one thing that no amount of money can buy… time with my dad
“Don’t look for your identity, approval or self-esteem in your things”
So very true! It’s amazing to think that people see the value of themselves in the goods they have around the house, even if they are items they don’t particularly care for or use anymore!
Alex Work
YourGoalBook.com
freecycle is useful.
If you have a lot of stuff then charities will sometimes come and pick stuff up.
Awesome topic Craig … there’s nothing like a good purge!!! This is something I will be tackling in a very practical sense in around …. ooooh …. 11 weeks time!!
Our small shack, … er … house, will be demolished at the end of March (excited much?) and the thing that excites me almost as much as seeing this baby go is the chance to throw shit out, and give shit away, and just basically get rid of all the cluttery crap. Actually, I think I really do have a lava lamp somewhere …
All that stuff I no longer use is sure as hell not making it into the new house!!!
I love the idea of getting my son to pick some toys to give away. Although he’s only four, I think he will really “get” it and receive a very powerful lesson too. Thanks for the tip. Fab idea.
Em
( ) x
We are also planning to put our house on the market and move. I have been decluttering for a few weeks now and it feels great! We decided anything we don’t use or need goes. So far we have given some furniture to a couple soon to be married, stuff to the Good Will charity and tossed quite a bit of useless to anyone stuff in a dumpster. And I have 3 more rooms left to go through. Can’t wait to be done. Both hubbie and I have agreed to be more careful in the future in accumulating so much stuff!
Funny … I’ve been going through this very process for a week or so now. My bedroom would give Aladin’s cave a run for it’s money! The rest of the place is clear, mainly coz everything gets shoved in the bedroom.
I went through the process before moving home in Sept 2009: 6 big bags to charity; a few trips to the local recycling centre; unknown quantity to the dump. It was therapeutic waving goodbye to 14yrs of “stuff”.
Told myself then that it wouldn’t get to that stage again. And it won’t. Reading this post, I am wondering if I’m being ruthless enough though. Perhaps not. The current de-clutter is still work in progress. Who knows what will end up happening now
Craig,
Thanks for the reminder- funny thing, but, I was just thinking about what you posted.
Sage advise…less is more. I am sooooo guilty of collecting too much stuff, myself. Although, I really don’t understand why. I suppose, as someone pointed out, we find or build value in ourselves as a result of our gatherings- possibly, a self-esteem thing. I, however, resolve to de-clutter as a result of your timely post, Craig. And, hopefully, stay the course.
Best,
rene’
What about creating a stuff-exchange-or-give-away website like Free-Bay, or MyShitYourShit, or LetsXchangeCrap, or YouCanHaveIt. You get the gist. Punters can negotiate which party pays the freight.
I’m the hoarder’s antithesis. Since Christmas I’ve already filled half an Anglicare bin and had one council collection of large household items. My goal is to “travel lightly” (in more ways than one). Not easy, when most of my heavy stuff is intangible. I want to make more room for self-acceptance, authenticity, and compassion. I might just catch up with some Buddhist friends… a timely reminder.
HI Craig — as always an incredibly timely post.
I’m just reading a fabulous book called ‘Enough – Breaking free from the world of more’ by John Naish. It’s talks exactly about the kind of stuff you’ve mentioned and explores the concept in detail across many life areas (information, food, stuff, work, options, happiness, growth).
Naish basically says that we haven’t evolved an ‘enough button … to break the vicious spiral of [our quest for] more, more, more.’ In the book Naish coins the term ‘enoughism’ which really struck a chord with me. There is talk of an ‘enoughism’ movement – a bit like the slow food movement. Bring it on I say! UBank also recently used the term ['enoughism] in its advertising campaign in an attempt to get young people to save rather than spend. What a concept!
Here are some of Naish’s concepts/wisdom:
-sustainability is the key – and [now it's about] personal sustainability in particular
-we have created a culture that has one overriding message – we do not yet have all we need to be satisfied
-we have to learn to live ‘post-more’
-Enoughness is the tipping point, beyond which getting more of anything makes life worse rather than better
-Instead of buying into the notion of having, seeing, being, going and doing ever and even more, we need to realise we already have everything we need and we’ve already arrived
-as individuals we can try to find balance by seeking only the things that we truly desire, rather than chasing manufactured rainbows
Perhaps we should all band together and get the ‘enoughism’ movement going? It’d be like saving the planet and saving our souls simultaneously.
At home we, (particularly my wife) has a 3 month rule of if you haven’t used it do you really need it. We have a Op shop that supports a specific charity organisation that is relevant to us, so each time we give more to them we know that it will be used to help raise funds for the specific charity.
Also I like to try and apply “keeping your own space decluttered” to work environment also. Giving away promotional stuff sent in to charities add a feel good factor to the office.
I have moved overseas 3 times, interstate (and back!) once and within Melbourne more times than I care to count.
I also find clutter stressful.
Add to that a tendency to messiness which drives me crazy (yes, my own messiness annoys me :p)
The end result: I don’t keep stuff I don’t use! I do have lots of stuff, I am not a minimalist (as much as I love the theory!) but I find a good ‘declutter’ really stress relieving. It also means if I want to keep my ‘good’ glassware and crockery I have to use it regularly which in itself is good for the soul (cereal does taste better in a lovely glass bowl, I swear!).
My Dad is the opposite… we spent days and days going through all his ‘stuff’ stored in 4 massive shipping containers before he moved house last year.
Great blog Craig
hmm yeah NO hoarder here;)
I dont tend to hoard anything.. the worst it ever gets is I go through my wardbrobe in November and anything I havent worn in a year (bar winter jackets) go to a girls rehab here on the central coast… helps prepare them for summer and Christmas..
Anyway as If I want to be reminded of my short shorts I couls wear when I was younger.. WIN WIN!
In the spirit of giving & the opportunity to De-Clutter, the amazing & resilient people in Queensland could do with some help.
Donating things to do de-clutter seems like a perfect opportunity, as many have lost everything and starting from scratch would be well dauting/ I couldn’t imagine it.
So Craig it would be great if you could mention something like this in your next email/blog and put the call out…as you have the ability to reach so many people. Even if you just list where people can donate or something along those lines…
Great email as always. Thank You
Cheers
Mich
Michelle cassidy
We had our house painted a couple of years ago and took this opportunity to declutter, as you say it was an awesome experience, we spent 12 hours in our wardrobe alone, as a result of this one car load when to the tip another to St Vinnies. My husband has what he calls his “No shit policy” seems to be working for him, his garage is very neat.
Funny you should write about decluttering. For a couple of hours each day this week, I’ve been decluttering my business. 4 days on, it’s amazing how there is less weight on the shoulders, as well as the shelves and drawers! Much has been paper to recycle, however there are many musical instruments that I hope to give to fellow music teachers up North who are in strife.
When watching the coverage on the floods, I was so overwhelmed. Wanting to do something, I got together with a couple of friends and a chat about it. We realised what people also need is money to help put back into their community to help businesses get back on their feet and so that communities can grow again. So we are going to have a ‘musiwear red for the floods’ week here at Musikids and raise funds to donate. I look forward to seeing the kids have a little fun with wearing red and I’m sure we’ll have a lot of support from the families.
FREECYCLE!
It’s the best forum for giving and asking for things you either no longer need or when you want something.
No money changes hands and the idea is keeping things out of landfill. You will be surprised what junk people will take and find a use for.
You can find your local group here – http://www.freecycle.org/
Excellent post, and timely. The QLD floods are devastating and heart wrenching.
They are also a reminder that we can’t control everything in our lives. It also questions the conventional societal “wisdom” of investing all of our time and energy in the pursuit of acquiring material possessions beyond our immediate needs. Everything is temporary and is constantly changing.
As is all too evident presently, these material things we strive so hard for can be taken away. On the other hand the internal/personal growth/spiritual work that we do can never be taken away.
Thanks for the constant supply of positive ideas and a focus on what really matters.
Oh I am such a hoarder. I have 4 years worth of subscriptions to Womens Health and Fitness Magazines “just in case” I want to re-read them later or lend them to anyone. I have 15 years worth of Work Diaries saved for “just in case” issues arise. I have computer cables saved from 486′s, ribbons to wrap up christmas presents and movie ticket stubs from first dates I don’t even remember the boy I went with!. None of it is stuff that anyone else wants and for the life of me I can’t logically figure out why I want it but yet it still hangs about – sucking life out of me. I finished reading at Christmas comedienne Corinne Grant’s book on her struggle with hoarding and that egged me into gear a bit and now it seems that everytime I open a magazine, read a paper or open my Craig Harper email – theres more about hoarding. So the constant reinforcement is helping. Weird as it may sound 6 months ago I didn’t have a hoarding issue – I had a lack of storage issue. It wasn’t my fault – it was that my house was small and it didn’t have enough room for everything. I wasn’t a hoarder, hoarders were those people on TV that have council workers come in with 10 skips just so they can find the front door – thats not me !, thats nothing like me !. Yeah right – my house is tidy, its neat – just don’t open any cupboards or go in the spare room, its a mess, its full – isn’t everyones ?.
So – I have a new “issue” – its Hoarding. I found out about it a couple of months ago yet from some of the rubbish I’ve thrown out it seems to have its origins sometime in the early 90′s… .
Thank you Craig for helping me yet again on this journey of life
.
Okay, it seems we’re onto something here! Thanks for all your stories, ideas, suggestions and feedback – gold. As always. Keep it coming you clever buggers. I don’t have time for individual responses today but I have read them all and I will check in again later. Cheers
As someone who has lost everything in the floods, I realised how unattached I am to “stuff”. My two storey house is under to almost the roof line. Yes of course I am upset and I have thought of what I have lost but in the end “stuff” can be replaced lives, memories and experience can’t. I managed to get some really important things out. Myself, my partner, the photos and computers, some identity documents and my wedding dress (80 odd days till the wedding).
By the way this is an awesome way to declutter, it forces you to really think about what you need when it comes time to replace it all. Perhaps this is a thought exercise for others: if you were to lose your house without on opportunity to take more than what you can carry, what do you really need to start again? Could you function without all your stuff?
Did I inspire this topic from the other days decision post….”Now if only I could apply my enthusiasm for health & fitness to my overcluttered house!!”….??
I have started chucking stuff out…..its hard…..is a 2008 health & fitness mag relevant today?? Are those old trainers good for a backup to the backup to the new pairs?? Will I read those letters from penpals I had back when I was in high school?? What about that hilarious story I wrote as a 13 year old that shocked me the last time I read it, that I was sooooo creatively silly way back when?? Do I keep the high heeled shoes that I very rarely wear cos 1) I’m tall already & 2) they’re kinda uncomfortable after a while even tho they look good??
WHAT?? Give away books that I’ve already read?? But it looks good on the bookshelf…surely it impresses people that I read doesnt it??
I KNOW it feels good to de-clutter…..but do I have to get rid of my childhood panda?? sniff sniff…….
You’re mean Craig……but I’m going to print this out & have it in hand when I’m trying to decide to chuck or not to chuck….that is the question!!
Uncheerfully,
Pet
xoxo
sniff sniff…..
These are my favourite thoughts in this post:-
“Don’t look for your identity, approval or self-esteem in your things”
“Focus more on building your internal assets”
“Have lunch with a Buddhist Monk ”
I couldn’t agree more with those ideas and I would love to lunch with Buddhist Monk (know any ?)!
Thanks also for your thoughts for us up here in Qld, Craig.
Myself and my family have not been directly affected as so many have, but the loss and suffering is apparent everywhere. So too is the bravery, generousity and overall ”goodness” being demonstraed by neighbours, friends and the general community toward helping others save their possessions and keep safe.
I know this post is about the material things which we all cling to unneccesarily (and I do agree) but I can’t help but also refer to the fact that up here at present there is also a lot of giving going on which is focussed on helping people to keep and to save their treasured possessions.
I know there is a difference between this and what you are talking about but I have just been thinking about things from this perspective and also about the fact that our ”stuff” (which we do know we have too much of) can also be such a physical reminder of life experiences and relationships.
As such, those things can transcend the passing of time and help us to feel ”connected” to people whom we love or have loved. I have kept many things which used to belong to my parents (now deceased) – things which have comforted me and at times kept me grounded just by looking at them.
Not having these things anymore is yet another sadness that our flood victims will soon be experiencing. I know that the safety and welfare of everyone is the only priority at present but eventually these victims will also grieve (somewhat) for the loss of their own treasured belongings and memories.
Sorry if I have taken too much of a different angle here (I know the decluttering and giving away is a great thing to do and don’t get me wrong, I do absolutely applaud the whole idea wholeheartedly !!!) but I just wanted to share my alternative thoughts about possessions mainly because just being in Queensland at present makes you a little emotional and gets you thinking about things from different angles.
Anyhow…I’m raving. Please do continue to keep Queenslanders in your minds and hearts today and in the days to come.
They need it.
And thank you again Craig for your thoughts at the beginning of this post.
God Bless you guys,
Mon
I think it is a bit mean that the kids have to give away 10 of their FAVOURITE toys! Maybe that is just me though…
OK I am all for it but short of moving house I never seem to find the time. I have so much stuff that I dont want or need and I keep thinking about how to dispose of it but dont do it. I suppose I will have to make this another non negotiable and make the time!!
Despite moving every 2-3 years, I’m still a bit of a hoarder. I know it’s wrong and I really, really don’t need all that stuff buuuuuuuuuuuuuut……. it seems to gather anyway. Throwing one thing out a day seems like a reasonable and relatively easy thing to do – and will ease the next move out! ^^
Roxy! Wow – you’re amazing. What an attitude and what awareness and insight you have. I’m sorry for your loss but I’m happy to hear you’re okay. If I (or any of our community) can help you in any way, please let me know. We’ll do our best.
Hugs and love to you. Stay safe… xx
When my father dies I was amazed at how little we kept from his ‘stuff’. I now consider what would be kept when I pass away and limit my purchases and hoarding accordingly.
Hey Craig !
Seems I responded to this one a couple of days ago… definitely ESP… I must have known you were going to write it !! I haven’t taken my bags of “stuff” to the Salvos yet because I started to wonder whether any organisations will be collecting clothes etc to go to Queensland. It’s a long way from Melbourne though so I’m thinking maybe not… anyone have any idea ?
Roxy, you are a true inspiration and an amazing person. You’re right, “stuff” can be replaced, but I’m so glad for you that you saved your photos (that’s what I’d be trying to grab, but I’d need a semi just for them !!) and your wedding dress. My very best thoughts and wishes to you and your partner.
{{HUGS}}
Tina
Dear Craig,
Spot on the money as usual !
A few years ago I stumbled across a website called the “flylady.com” I stopped getting her emails once I’d learned her strategy for decluttering ( cos then I had a cluttered in box !)
She has a 3 box approach to any room / zone .
Enter the room for only 1/2 hour.
Take three boxes / bags clearly labelled:
Box 1. This item doesn’t live in this zone and needs to go back to its real home.
Box 2. This is junk or as you so politely put it – CRAP. Straight to the bin from here to re-use the box tomorrow.
Box 3. I need to bless someone else with these items. ( Obviously some things don’t fit in a box , and that is where a pick up charity service can be helpful)
Once the 1/2 hour is up . You take box 1 and put the things into their rightful spots.
empty box 2 into the bin. ( Trust me , if you know its CRAP don’t give it to the Salvos – they just have to rehandle it an put it in their bin.)
Box 3 – put it straight into the boot of your car and give it away from there in your travels. Not all of the things go to the same home. Its amazes me the number of times I’ve been with someone and they need something in my box and if my car is with me – instant gifting !
My extra rules – don’t add another box to the boot until box number 3 is empty – otherwise you are simply shifting the clutter to another zone – your car boot.
Thanks again Craig for all you do.
Blessings Andrea.
P.S On the floods – Major Charities are saying at this point money is needed. They have more than enough CRAP floating in the rivers up there. Give locally and what needs to be transported up there will happen. Give generously in cash and people can then get the essentials now.
I think us in Brisbane have no choice but to throw out stuff:(
I have to 100% disagree with you Craig. Don’t you like someone disagreeing as many like me are always with you
I think if the stuff is clogging up hallways, rooms, yards etc, and posing a health risk or a safety risk yes. But arguements such as if you get rid of clutter you will meet a man/new job/become Prime Minister because the Chi is coming in is silly, though I do believe in Chi.
I look at it this way – it is my choice to keep it you can have it and throw it out and give it to others when I leave the earth. Of course if people are in need as now they can have things of mine if they are needed. My point is, if people are so obessed with declutter why not THINK twice before buying something? I do think gettng rid of clothes that don’t fit are wise. However, to me, this obesssion with declutter, well don’t complain years later as I have heard from others “oh why did I throw that out it meant so much to me”.
Better to hold on. Its the choice of the individual to declutter or hoard. But don’t use bulls*** arguements to make people feel gulity for what they keep. Sadly, the fun police do that: tell you you have to get rid of your things for ‘the chi’ to flow. Give me a break. Funny how one person I know who is a declutter dictator her house is a pig sty with newspapers from years ago.
Having said that I can’t wait for the house to be fixed up as there is a lot of junk going out and that is exciting. Yeah, double standards
Now this topic is a passion of mine! Last year at 38 years young I disposed of 99% of my material possessions to remove stress, clear my mind and follow my dream of travelling OS. It was an event of epic proportions which included a massive garage sale and many donations. Furniture, 4WD, motorbike, books, clothes, gym equipment and everything else I had been moving and storing for most of my adult life…..gone. This left me with a small trunk of memorabilia stored at Mum’s, one suitcase, my camera and laptop.
It was the most liberating experience of my life. The feeling of donating to those less fortunate than myself and people that needed my crap more than I ever did was exhilarating.
After 7 months OS, my travelling is temporarily on hold while I relocate to Melbourne to pursue another life-long passion, however I continue to live a life of minimalism and simplicity and have never been happier. It is amazing how much better life is when you don’t have crap, both physical and emotional, consuming your mind and energy. Minimalism, simplicity, giving and gratitude are awesome things!
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