A Man Without a Plan

Hi Guys. Here’s part of a conversation I had last Friday (that’s me in the grey)…

You’re Doing What?

“What are you doing this weekend?”
“Not sure.”
“No plans?” (Sounds surprised)
“Not really.”
“So, you have no plans for tomorrow night?” (Didn’t I just answer that?)
“Nope.”
“Doesn’t that bother you?” (Weird question)
“Nope, it makes me happy. When my life permits it, I like to freestyle.”
“I need a plan.” (Poor thing)
“Doesn’t that (need for a plan) bother you?”
“No, I get anxious when I don’t have things mapped out and organised.”

A Scheduled Life

And so the (not-very-exciting) conversation went along those lines for another scintillating five minutes, or so. My questioner was clearly frustrated and confused by (1) my lack of plans for the weekend and (2) my lack of concern (about my lack of plans). According to her, a weekend should be structured. Organised. Time-tabled. Scheduled within an inch of its life.

Freestyle

Me, on the other hand, I like my moments of busy-ness, structure and productivity to be broken up with moments of whatever-I-want-whenever-I-want-and-nothing-in-particular. Not all the time (of course) but sometimes. Being the man-with-a-plan (as I am most days) makes sense, but only to a point. When the thought of a day with no plans, no commitments and no timetable makes us anxious or uncomfortable, then a day with no plans is exactly what we need.

Addicted to Planning

I don’t know how we (the collective we) ended up ‘here’ but, like it or not, many of us have an unhealthy addiction to the almighty plan and the ever-present ‘to-do’ list. To be honest, I’m not sure how some people functioned before the advent of the iPhone (and the like). You know; those things that enable us to schedule and time-line the bejesus out of our electronically-dependant lives. Of course, I can appreciate the practical value and convenience of such gizmos but when people hyperventilate at the mere thought of misplacing their electronic life-force, things are all kinds of messed up.

Scientifically speaking.

My friend, like many people, is of the belief that unplanned time is wasted time. Wow. How exhausting. Glad I don’t live there. What an anchor. If she’s not ticking boxes and crossing items off her list, she feels unproductive and lazy. Guilty, even. Ironically, in the middle of all her productivity and efficiency, I don’t really detect any joy.

“Maybe you should forget productivity (sometimes) and aim for fun instead?”.. I suggested.

Like most things, planning can be a healthy or unhealthy habit. It can be life-enhancing or life-destroying. Positive or negative. Sensible or obsessive.

It doesn’t need to be a week or even a whole day; it might just be the occasional unplanned half-day or maybe even an hour. A moment in time to consciously avoid the ritual, the process and the repetition. A time to freestyle. A time to step out of the mayhem and box-ticking predictability. A time to find some perspective. Sometimes we need to switch off our over-thinking mind and let our heart tell us what to do. Or not do, as the case may be.

Sometimes, the best plan is no plan. :)

* Don’t forget my new kid’s book (The Angry Ant) is out now! Love this article? Sign up for my FREE Email Newsletter today to receive more articles like this, and my FREE Ebook!

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Holly April 18, 2011 at 9:04 pm

I am a planner and list writer. This planning assists me in coping with the sometimes overwhelming duties of being a mother, wife, worker, etc.

I look forward to my “No Plan” time when we go away with friends camping a few times a year, usually to a destination which has no mobile phone reception.

We have “three more sleeps” until we head off on our annual Easter camping trip to the base of the Alps where my girls, aged 3 and 4 (almost 5 according to her!) will get to do almost whatever they want. They get to throw rocks in the river, run around in bare feet, poke sticks in the fire, ride their bikes, dig holes in the dirt, make their own paint from rocks, play imaginary games (no we do not have portable DVD players, Nintendo DS’s etc) make sandcastles in the dust and mud pies, yell and scream as loud as they can, climb trees, fight with each other without constant parental intervention and the best part……… get to eat their easter eggs for breakfast!

This is the time I loosen up and have no plans apart from just having fun :)

P.S A big Hello to the MBE crew xx

Reply

Phoebe April 19, 2011 at 12:12 am

I call it “vacation brain” when I don’t bother to plan at all. I’ve gone on road trips with no destination in mind, no reservations, nothing but an overnight bag. And during the normal week/weekend, I try to switch to vacation brain whenever normal obligations are absent, so I don’t have any expectations or plans. I get very silly then, too; I stop caring what people think.

Reply

Jenny April 19, 2011 at 3:47 am

Craig, you make ‘having no plans’ sound very much like ‘a plan’!

Reply

Craig April 19, 2011 at 7:04 am

Hi Jenny… I don’t think we need to ‘plan’ our unplanned time but rather be open to, and comfortable with, periods of time without a to-do list or a timetable – whenever they may be. :)

Reply

Nicki April 19, 2011 at 8:42 am

After having brought up two boys alone, at the age of 22 they finally left home, first the eldest then 2 years later, the youngest. They are now 38 and 40 years old and, ever since they left I made a promise to myself that when I retired from working full-time I would then be able to relax and stop my frantic busy, exhausting schedule of going to work every day all day, then racing home to take care of my family with not a minute to spare for myself until 11pm most nights.

I am now retired from work and enjoy the luxury of doing whatever I want, whenever I want. I recommend it and believe that it is essential for the health of mind/body/spirit to stop and smell the flowers (or the coffee in bed) whatever the preference for doing that simple thing of just relaxing and going with the ‘flow’. It gives the spirit a lift and replenishes the soul and … there is still PLENTY of time for me to plan if I choose to. I wish I had the capability to do this when I did work and was a busy single mother, as my anxiety and stress levels would have been so much lower. GREAT ARTICLE CRAIG! (as always) … cheers, a fan.

Reply

Evan April 19, 2011 at 8:46 am

As to how we got here: Charles Taylor’s A Secular Age is brilliant.

Reply

David Stevens April 19, 2011 at 8:50 am

Hi Craig,
I’m with you. No need to plan every waking moment, just have a sense of direction. Your ‘plan’ will kick in when you need it.
Be good to yourself
David

Reply

Kate April 19, 2011 at 9:50 am

If she’s not ticking boxes and crossing items off her list, she feels unproductive and lazy. Guilty, even. Ironically, in the middle of all her productivity and efficiency, I don’t really detect any joy.

OMG that is me!!! Help.

Reply

Kayley April 19, 2011 at 12:49 pm

You wanna hear something funny…I too am a planner. So much so after seeing you (Craig) at Caroline Springs I had a plan. To change my life considerably I needed to write a plan. It was going to be like a contract of sorts. Accountability maybe but it “seemed” like the way to go. How am I going with that you ask? Not well as I seem to busy with ticking other boxes and stressing about things that I haven’t got around to it. I have booked in for your Melbourne workshop so I am hoping that something may trigger that “thing” I need!

Reply

Nicole Lambert April 19, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Ha !! I went from obsessive over planning every minute detail (I believe the correct term is ‘control freak’) to living life by the spur of the moment (mega fail) over a period of about 2 years.

I think I’m finally beginning to find the happy place in between where the pendulum has started to steady its pace from the extremities and I am learning how to be organised when I need to be and chilled when I don’t.

Its taken a while, but I tend to learn most things the hard way ;)

Reply

chebbieanne April 19, 2011 at 2:14 pm

I call my time out “Vegie Time”. I dont plan when to do it I just know when it is time. It may be a few hours but often can be a whole day. Usually it involves sitting around in the PJ’s on the couch. I dont answer phones, return texts and avoid all other forms of human communication. Thinking is kept to the bare minimum and nanna naps are often included. It is invigorating for the body and the mind. It is not wasted time but rather a catch up session when body and mind realign.

Reply

sweetpea April 19, 2011 at 3:49 pm

I have had periods of very intense planning time, put an event together such as coordinating a national tour for some overseas musicians and ya gotta be on the ball…..gigs, airfares, hotel accommodation…bla bla..but …I’ve learnt the best laid plans…of mice and women come horribly unstuck…imagine booking a musical group from the States, you get to Perth, one of the musicians is a top banana pianist…you have signed contracts yadayada…and we get to the venue on a Sunday at 5pm in Perth, place is getting full of people and I notice there is no grand piano on the stage? So after glaring at the dimwit booker of the venue and thinking this guy is really an alien from mars ..(he failed to plan here).I said… you mean you paid thousands of dollars for an international name pianist…but you forget to book the piano??Perhaps he can play the spoons or the maracca’s I say sarcastically- but I was used to it… people forget the real shit to plan all the time..when they get complacent (he was propped up at the bar with a cocktail in hand with his girly cheer squad…oh Mickey you’re so fine.etc..) , or have too many plans and let the most immediate or urgent slip… .I mean its not a hard ask… knowing also when the three hours was done was my “free space” until the next city. Well you deal with it, and in an hour a piano and piano tuner turned up…(of course I had to do it..he was an imbecile.and had to foot the bill.). but I’ll save the best for last… what about… if it was big name symphony orchestra…from OS and they arrive at a big name and ginormous venue, and sit in the “green room” for a couple of hours after their very long flight…and drink Aussie beer, (which is much stronger than the beer from their respective countries) and you had whole sections of the orchestra as pissed as parrots… you say…plans? Hehe we poured black coffee down gullets till they were peeing cappucino’s…. Two hours later….formal black tie of course, conductor enters, music starts..the formality, the ceremony…but..best concert reviews …ever… (now i am recalling this.event of .more than.30 years ago…) for any musicians reading this…the strings were cool, the brass and reeds sections..(.must be something about trombonists and trumpets and clarinets) ,were totally pickled.. Best lesson on planning, unplanning and improvising and going with the flow I ever learned. The flow here being “Fosters” I think….but if you were a Type A personality, you would probably need a few blood pressure pills, a bex and a good lie down….. and of course, your “hair shirt” to go..

Reply

Tina Johnston April 19, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Hey Craig !
Spontaneous me: It’s a glorious day, why don’t we go somewhere, do something?
Hubby: Where do you want to go ? Do what ?
Me: I dunno… let’s jump in the car, follow the bonnet and then stop somewhere and go for a nice long walk.
Hubby: But where do you want to go ?
Me: Anywhere…. let’s just go!
Hubby: But how can we go anywhere if we don’t know where we’re going ? Tell me where you want to go.
Me: *sigh* OK, let’s go down to St. Kilda and have a nice stroll along the beach, and then find a cafe and have a cappuccino.
Hubby: Nah, I don’t want to go to the beach.
Me: OK, where do you want to go ?
Hubby: Nowhere, I still have to paint the door frames and wash my car and (insert a dozen other chores).
Me: I give up…. bleaagghhh!!!!

{{HUG}} Tina

Reply

naomi April 19, 2011 at 9:26 pm

hmm I think I need more planning and less free time…

Reply

Janet Darbey April 19, 2011 at 11:16 pm

I usually have some plans for the day, like going to the gym first thing, or going to see the accountant at a certain time. But I always have time in each day that is not planned. If I feel like it I will go to the pool and swim or have a coffee and a gossip with friends. It is more relaxing to do things this way, and the chores get done as well.

Reply

kate April 21, 2011 at 9:42 am

mm have to admit I always have a plan… and like Jenny am guilty of planning my free time.

“Failure to plan is a plan to fail”…

Admitadely my schedule is colour coded but the weekend have two days of purple (ok almost two days) which well anything can happen.. I think that if you are a realistic planner then flexibility has to be accounted into :)

Reply

Corinne Edwards April 22, 2011 at 1:29 am

I LOVE having no plans.

Besides, if you work mostly from home, every day is a Tuesday.

Reply

Jo April 26, 2011 at 1:27 pm

I am a total planner. My friends think it’s amazing how I manage to fit everything into my time (and sometimes I tend to agree…it is amazing). Why ‘waste’ time doing ‘nothing’ when you can be doing’ something?! I’m like a duck, appear cool, calm and collected and underneath the water I’m frantically pedaling along…what’s the point? But I couldn’t agree with you more Craig, it’s so exhausting being a planner (can’t be healthy for us?). The trick is recognising this frantic planner in yourself, stop planning and be present.

Reply

Leave a Comment

{ 3 trackbacks }

Previous post:

Next post: