2010 - BELIEVERS ARE ACHIEVERS

[Kazz]

G'day all

words of wisdom and support for you Narnie ...... it would be nice if they came! Your strength is shining through in what you are doing this week - returning to work, dealing with the phone calls, putting others first. Amazing lady. Also let others care for you. Do what you need to do ...... feel what you need to feel regardless of how uncomfortable and yukky it is. As Gb, Tan, Schelle pointed out the cyber family is here surrounding you for whatever is you need.

Gb - now THAT is action!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love it! You are right. What's more you followed through on what you beleive, stood up for the safety of your workmates, regardless of the flack from management or how uncomfortable it would be. smiled broadly reading your little routine shared with the little princess ..... gorgeous and precious.

Schelle - you summed up this group beautifully. This is a special place to be .... comfortable too, warm, welcoming .... where you can just BE.

Tan - as always words of wisdom .... so sensible, so real. Little things / actions build into big things - thank you. how's the challenge going???????

Ange .... how are you? How is the writing????????

Michelle - bakc into the full on workout now? What are you up to?

xxxxx

[Kazz]

Heyho!

Day home today with a focus on the business ...... is it really the thing for me? Scary! Anyway that is where I am.

No funeral for us - as per Ann's wishes. Sunday the family is having an afternoon tea to share stories about Ann and her life - preferably prior to the last 7-10 years. Not sure what stories to share about her yet. Today she will be cremated. Of course she left instructions for what her hubby, kids and dad are to do with her ashes. Controlling to the end!!!!!!

Narnie - my prayers are with you. Strength coming your way especially for tomorrow.

xxxx

[Gladrock]

Hiya All!

Kazz: I like your sisters' idea... really like it! Why are you still afraid of the business? And can you train yourself to turn 'Afraid' into 'Excited' ? There's a fine line between Terror and Exhiliration... about as wide as a smile Think FUN! Well, wait til next week at least...

Narnie: Hanging in there mate? I've got some free time next week (which I should be using to finish off painting the laundry), but was thinking that I could probably cruise up North to see if there is anything I can do to help... sort of feeling useless here while you guys fight on alone.

Ange: bit quiet this week...? I remembered recently that you put me onto the Krav Magda thingy... have been toying with getting the girls trained in it, or signing them up for some self defence / martial arts classes (ho ho ho, more time in the car ferrying kids!).

Michelle / Schelle / Tan: How's the training going Ladies? Got an update? News? Feedback?

Ok, better hit the sack, first day back tomorrow, yippee another 4.30am start... will be snoozing this time tomorrow night, hopefully in my bed and not on the lounge in front of the tele...

Cheers,

Gb

[Gladrock]

Okaaay...

Um, not much happening in Gb world... work, sleep, rest of family down with colds again.

Weather, fine, warm... so warm the toads are out and about early, mozzies are back, and I had to remove a snake from the carport yesterday arvo. July / August, and it's warm enough to swim! Probably will. Pool has stopped leaking, so I'll be in it on my days off with a magnifying glass looking for the little swine of a pinhole leak.

Ok, hope all are well. I'm off to bed, will catch up later.

Cheers,

Gb

[Gladrock]

3 Mooses in a row

Was talking tonight to a fella who informed me that he and his wife wrote a contract to 'Stay As Fit As Possible'.

He said they both agreed to try their best to stay thin and good looking for as long as possible, then wrote down the terms. And 20+ years later their going pretty well. Well, he's colouring his hair... obviously

Anyway, my eyebrows still haven't come down yet...

I think it would make my wife laugh quite a lot if I rocked up home this morning brandishing a bit of paper with some interesting suggestions on it

Those of you down south will be delighted to know the cold weather arrived last night. Fortunately we'll top 26 deg later, so not too painful. Have to get back in the pool soon, the leak has stopped, so I know roughly where the thing is

Hope all is well for everyone,

Cheers,

Gb

[Kazz]

Hello all

That couple found what worked for them! Isn't that what it is all about ..... identifying the approach that works for you, suits your life and keeps you going? Over time this may change so being flexible and open to opportunities is another key. anything to lessen the battles in the head!!!! That is one bonus of this forum and CH site .... many different apporaches to being active balanced and healthy are presented and discussed.

So Narnie, how are you this week? Sleeping? HOw are you taking care of yourself?

Tan - how is the hard-arse training coming along? Is there a muscle in that body that hasn't hurt yet??????? Progress report please.

Michelle - are you over the lurgy and back on top of things now? How are the kids going?

Schelle - what is your new fitness regime? BTW what format do you use for your food and exercise diary?

Ange - new computer at home and you're quiet????? Please explain!

Gb - ocnfusion ..... how do you now know where the leak is if it has stopped leaking?????? Progress on the OHS demands at work please. Cold hey????!!!!! at least the days are getting longer and we are heading into warmer weather as the term goes on.

Me?? Battling through .... it's very attractive to run and hide right now. Wanting to be down, curl up, do nothing ...... but that is not the way to do things is it?! Sunday's family get together went OK. Not sure it did it for me though. Interesting ..... when people were asked to share it was mainly the her in-laws. Dad told a little story about the night she was born, then in year 12 when she sang in Pirates of Penzance. My brother and I said nothing. Her kids said nothing, her hubby very little, though it was more distressing for him than I think he anticipated. My saving grace was being able to stand in the kitchen away from most people, right next to the fella - the breakfast bar provides prety good protection!

random question - the role of men and women in the family, how would you define it these days? worker, carer, earner, ........

xxxxx

[Tania]

Hello there

Checking back in!

All is good in my world - have been a bit reflective on what it all means and what really matters.......obviously thinking about you Kazz and Narnie has made me appreciate the 'humdrum' of my life. We have had a couple of awful workplace accidents in SA just recently.......a 37 year old was killed at a trailer building site and a guy was killed at the desalination plant that is being built. Very, very sad and does make you think about the right to go to work and come home in one piece. I regularly say to Mr T as he leaves for work "Drive carefully".......I am saying it a bit more often at the moment.

12 week challenge is motoring on! I am amazed at how quickly your body adapts - I was providing Leanne with a DOMS report each week.......and she asked me where my report was last week and I said "No DOMS, so no report!!" So in the first couple of weeks lifting big weights for me, caused a lot of DOMS but within 2 short weeks my body has adapted.......it is amazing how quickly you can make changes. Don't worry though, no chance of me getting complacent or getting a big head about the fact that I can deadlift 45kgs or leg press 191kgs or bent over row 22.5kg etc. etc., as Leanne is quick to say.......Great work, you are getting really, really strong, I can physically see your muscles working (all good and positive, up until here!?!?!)........then she says "There is still a layer of fat over your muscles, but don't worry we will work towards getting that off!?!?"
All in all i am enjoying the challenge! I really need to nuckle down on my eating for the next 8 weeks......it has been 80% good during the challenge, but I think I have been eating too much.....with me trying to get in the extra serves of protein and shakes etc., I have let myself still have the same size meals......so I need to pull myself back into gear, once this mass building phase finishes this Saturday! I did Dry in July which was good, I was happy with how I handled it, as I didn't ever really feel like I 'needed' a drink (thats a good thing when you are the daughter of an alcoholic!!) and it has made me recognise the hows and whens of me having a drink.......I am aware now that soem of my drinks aren't fully enjoyed drinks......they aren't special wines that I am relishing when I get home from work or when I am having a lovely meal.......some of them could as easily be glasses of water for the actual living it/feeling it/tasting it experience! So I ahve made a deal with myself, that I don't have to restrict my drinking to certain days or to certain quantities, I have to restrict them to occasions where i will truly enjoy them! At worst it will make me be more 'present' in the moment when I am eating and drinking.....because i am not allowed to have a glass of wine if I am just hurrriedly shoving a pieve of toast down my throat for dinner before I go off to do something else!??!

Gb, I liked the story of your mate. i think that is an excellent contract to make between a couple! it is interesting that whole 'growing together' challenge. Mr T and I have grown together remarkably unified in our shared values, family commitments, work ethic and commitment to each other and our broader social circle.......but the one standout difference for us is a commitment to physical health. Granted Mr T has sufferred far more than his share of chronic illness, but I argue that he has also overcommitted to work both physically and mentally (and in his younger days on long haul trucking, took some substances that probably weren't fully aligned with a commitment to health!!) and is more rooted in the medical paradigm that when you get sick, you get something from a doctor (be it drugs, surgery etc. etc.) and 'they' fix it, whereas I am much more of the ilk that I will take responsibility for doing everything I can to prevent myself getting unwell. I do accept that it is easier for me, I am 10 years younger and I don't work in my own business so I have much more grounded 'non work' time.

Kazz, hang in there matey. Feel what you feel, see what you see.....just let the experiences be. This time will teach you plenty......and sometimes you just have to observe to get the learnings. Now the gender roles......fascinating question and one that I have had strong opinions.....fancy that, ME having strong opinions!!?!? I think it is so very broad nowadays.........I know of situations where it is still very stereotypical.......female is primary carer and looks after inside of house and male is primary earner and looks after outside of house, through to a very equitable shared arrangement of all things including caring, working, earning etc., through to the other end of the spectrum where the male is trying to be absolutely everything to everyone and the female is being somewhat more self focussed and exploring her rights professionally and personally. And in all honesty I know of some examples of each of these 3 that are incredibly happy and well functioning and I know of examples of each of these 3 that are effectively not working for either partner or the kids. I don't think that you can categorically say that stereotypes are bad - if all parties involved are happy with the way it works then it is fine........I guess the issue is that historically it was the female who was less happy with her specified gender role of primary carer......mostly I suspect because it lacks the inherent respect that a wage earning role receives. My foster brother is an incredibly successful medical practitioner and now a partner in a large radiology firm.....he works incredibly hard and is well remunerated for that. His wife doesn't work and they have 4 children. Whilst he is a good Dad with respect to playing with the kids, the reality is he doesn't have to do much with respect to raising the kids and by that I mean the mundane of getting 4 kids up and organised and ready to get out the door by 8.30am (he is already at work or travelling interstate) or with the dealing with the discipline, the meltdowns, the battle to get them to eat their veges, to do the toilet training etc. etc. But by the same token, his wife is able to run the household and the kids without having to worry financially. this arrangement works well except that my FB and I 'discuss' regularly that he doesn't show his wife enough respect.......ultimately he still fundamentally believes that what he is doing and his 'job' is more important than hers. And quite frankly I think that is wrong - I think the segregation of duties and workload is fine and reasonably fair, the bit that is not right is that he ultimately believes that his 'paid/saving lives' work is more important than her building family/growing people work............as I say to him, I wonder how you will feel in 30 years when you are no longer the super important partner of a practice and find that you have nothing to talk to your kids about....... And as for Mr T and i, we are pretty equitable in most things (easier for us, because we only have to manage paid employmet each and a house/family/friends commitments......no kids).......he probably does more o fthe 'heavy stuff' in the garden and i do the vast majority of teh cooking......but when it comes ti the emotional support it is equitable, and Mr T is great at maintaining relationships etc. Anywya, enough rabbitting, have to go!

Hope everyone else is doing okay!!

Tanxxx

[Gladrock]

Kazz sounds like a pretty emotional time over the weekend... funerals are never easy, more so when it is family, & particularly when little ones are involved. And I think too of Narnie at this time who is in the throes of a very turbulent time in many arenas, and words sort of fail me...

To answer your questions:

The water in the pool has stopped dropping. I've been marking the water level every couple of days, and in the last week it has only dropped half an inch, which is about right for evaporation. This means, the hole is somewhere in the zone around the top of the water mark. All I have to do now is find it. With a magnifying glass and some sort of heated nappy around my groinal area

OH&S 'demands', or requests... yeah, have had some feedback. Some good, some bad. There are two factions watching me now. Those who are silently cheering me on, and those who are waiting for me to 'cop the flogging I so richly deserve'. I am being watched v. closely, so the second I break a rule, or make a mistake, a large brick will drop on me from far above. Fun, eh? On the plus side, several things were fixed while I was on days off, and I was delighted to send out emails full of praise for the nice folk who stepped up to the plate.

I was wondering why you're asking about roles of men and women? Like Tan I've got 'opinions' on the topic. We did the Mum at home, Dad off to t' pits, thing. Both grew up with that, and reckon it wasn't so bad. And like our parents, as the kids got older, Mum returned to part time work.

Nothing would make me happier than for my wife to have a career, and I become a stay at home dad. I've got one mate who has done this, and his life is the envy of every bloke he knows. His wife comes home each day to a clean house, a cooked meal, and kids homework done, while he gets to 'play'. Write, study, do odd jobs, try different volunteer groups, play music, and recently he's started travelling o'seas... I hate him! They are pretty comfortable, and able to buy, do, pretty much whatever they want. Meanwhile the rest of us battle on waiting for that elusive Lotto win!

Over the past few weeks, I've been thinking that this is why I came to Craigs' site a couple of years ago. I wanted change, but unfortunately have hit many a brick wall in the process. The desire to 'drop out' and live the hippy farm lifestyle thing is strong, but the price is too high. Change that would be great for me, could ultimately ruin my family. Also, what I want may not be want Mrs Gb wants. We have very different ideas of where we want to be, live etc. She looks at a big home and sighs, I look at it and think, another 20 years of grinding out a living in a job I don't like, am not suited for, or ever really wanted, as well, as big house = big maintenance! So, we press on, looking for options, looking to change what we can change. Trying this, testing that, pushing some limits, being pushed by others.

It may be the fact that I've just finished night shift, repairing the washing machine, washing down some walls and mowing the lawn, but right now I'm very tired, and a long way away from AMAZING. And I heartily cheer on anyone who is living their dream. Hope springs eternal

Struth, I've just re-read this, and am about to sign off and give myself a fairly solid uppercut! There is a little box in my brain that I open at times like this to stop the wallowing in pity thing:

HEALTH: Everyone is HEALTHY. Get on your Goddamned knees and be super grateful just for that!

HOPE: You've got a loving family, skills and talents, and live in a great part of a great country. There is food in the fridge, and 'treats' in the beer fridge. You don't live in fear, and life is stable.

HAPPINESS: Sure life isn't a barrel of laughs everyday, but at least once a day you CAN laugh, and even better, with someone you love. Plus, you have options that are the envy of nearly 3/4 of the worlds population. Get up you sook and get moving!

AMAZING: isn't a destination it's a journey. Look for the beauty all around you stupid, it's there, but you're not focussing on it.

Ok, the lid is back on the box, and I'm in the boat and paddling. Who's coming with me?!

Better get back to prepping the ol' laundry walls. Feeling a lot better now! Still tired though... but not grumbly tired

Geez this forum is cheap therapy!

Cheers all,

Gb

[ellehcim62]

Hi all,

sorry I have been a bit absent (again) I had to do 2 weeks of full time work a couple of weeks ago and it wore me out...ho hum. Seriously I seem to have been so busy of late and am another year older (?wiser though lol) Anyhoo...I have been a bit sporadic with the gym as I have been getting the on again off again cold...which is very draining, though I have been plugging away at it.

Gb 26 C hey...it'll be that down here too...somewhere around November...heavens it's been cold this winter. Oh and glad the pool appears to have stopped leaking.

I am getting things under control a lot better with my food and will be losing weight again very soon

Ok better go an finish cooking dinner as the natives are getting restless....pity they can't cook for themselves!!! Ho hum!!!

[Gladrock]

Hey Michelle, Happy Birthday

.... did I get that right?!

And Tan: What are DOM's? Glad to hear you're cranking along. Will be expecting to see the Before and After pics soon

Ok, dogs are pawing me for a walk, then time to slap undercoat on walls.

Catchusoon,

Gb