Fate Schmate

News Flash: Fate doesn’t give a shit about you. Neither does destiny.

If our lives, relationships, experiences and outcomes are somehow cosmically pre-determined (as some people believe), then what’s the point of working passionately and diligently to become the best version of us we can? If it’s out of our hands then we may as well put our potential in a box, hop on the destiny train and see where it takes our indifferent, pre-determined selves. 

Pfft.

If my future is pre-ordained then the notion of me making better decisions, being proactive, asking better questions, doing better things, taking risks and being courageous is redundant and pointless because, no matter what I do, the outcome of my life will be the same. 

Double Pfft.

Yes, some things are beyond our control (genetics, certain illnesses, the behaviour of others, particular events) and yes, life is messy, uncomfortable and periodically terrifying but even in the middle of our toughest unavoidable challenges, we still get to determine (1) what those challenges will mean to us (2) how we will react to them (3) how they will affect our life (4) the decisions we make despite our situation and (5) what we will learn in the middle of our adversity.

Some people say life is pre-determined. I say it’s me-determined.

Fate Schmate. :)

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

BikeRiderBabe February 27, 2012 at 11:51 pm

News Flash: Predestination: “a doctrine in Christian theology, the divine foreordaining of all that will happen, especially in regard to the salvation of some and not others.”

When you and I boast of our strengths, we get the credit, and we keep going under our own head of steam. When we boast in what He is doing in the midst of our brokenness, inability and inadequacy, Christ comes to the front. His strength comes to our rescue. He is honored.

God’s goal is not to make sure you’re happy. Life is not about you being comfortable, happy, and successful or pain free. It’s about becoming the man or woman God has called you to be. We have a vital part in His plan.

God wants us to humbly work, serve, passionately and diligently so achievements accomplished will honor and glorify Him because we are His creation. If your heart is God-determined as apposed to me-determined or worldly determined, then the outcomes and outlook of your life and goals will be phenomenal. Life-changing. Everything will fall into perspective.

James 1: 16-18 NIV “Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all He created.”

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chebbieanne February 28, 2012 at 12:26 am

It is funny but fate and destiny often respond beautifully to a hard nudge in the desired direction. If we get on the destiny train we might as well be the train driver because at least then we can see where we are going before everyone else can.

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Lilby February 28, 2012 at 4:32 am

“ME – DETERMINED”
Love that word- its fantastic and drives home the point that if it’s going to be its up to me.
Thank you Craig. You truly do inspire change.

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Emanuele Santanche February 28, 2012 at 8:10 am

The idea of fate and destiny are good inventions. Those who want to have power on the others use them to have people to obey. It’s very effective. When you hear someone tell that something is your destiny or your fate, he is actually telling you that you have to obey him. Thinking that your destiny is not in your hands, you will give your power to those who are hungry for power. It’s the same thing as with gods. If you are brave and you decide to stop believing and start seeing the reality, you can see that the so-called word of god is word of people who want to enjoy power on you.

When they tell you that you have to obey god, they are actually telling you to obey them. A lot of people obey because they are educated to be coward for them to be unhappy all their life. When they say: god isn’t interested in your happiness, it’s because they don’t want you happy. If you become happy, you become free and they don’t want you free, they want you slave of them. Happiness is possible. You have to be disobedient. You have to disobey all those who want to have power on you.

When you start to see instead of believing, you are free. You see people wanting to have power on you and no god wanting or forbidding that.

Those people wanting power on you aren’t better of worse than you. They are full of fear and obsessed with power. They just don’t see that because they believe, don’t see. They want you to be weak because they are unable to love you. They can’t stay with you at your same level. They have to dominate you.

I’m sorry for children. Those poisonous people full of fear and longing for power fill their head with fear since the very day they were born. To teach fear to a child is a crime, the worst a person can commit.

I beg pardon to children because I was one of those poisonous people. I’m proud of having got rid of gods and of fear. I’m proud that I’m no longer teacher of fear to children.

Emanuele Santanche –
Freedom and courage

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Beach bear February 28, 2012 at 8:40 am

Thanks for this Craig. Yes i echo your sentiments 100%…..have lived it and continue to live it and realised this a while ago now. It was so nice and comforting to wrap myself up in those feelings that somehow ‘destiny and fate’ would take care of things…..that was only serving to let me avoid facing up to the responsibility of taking charge of my own life. It even seems ridiculous just writing that.

You wrote an aritcle ages ago Craig that said that you need to get into the drivers seat of your own life and steer that sucker down the highway….dont let others do it for you and find yourself sitting in the back seat….or the trailer under a load of boxes! The ONLY option we have is to get behind the steering wheel, make our own decisions as we go. The alternative is to not want to deal with it and hand the wheel over to ‘fate and destiny’ or whoever else wants to have a go at driving you around where THEY want to go…..

A really really important message Craig and i hope those who need this truly understand the impact of it :)

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Trish B February 28, 2012 at 12:21 pm

I think we all need to be often reminded of the essential truth in this article, Beach Bear.
Even when you take control of your life, I’ve found it is easy to backslide (as it’s more comfortable), so it’s great to have, as someone else said, a nudge in the right direction!

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Maylene February 28, 2012 at 8:51 am

Interesting to see all the nuts come out of the woodwork all of them with perverted views on God and predestination???

However, I really don’t think this is the right forum for expressing any of those views.

Love the expression “me destination”. That’s all about self-control. Oops sorry – that’s one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Good one, Craig.

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Sandy Fishwick February 28, 2012 at 9:04 am

This make me laugh. Fate or destiny is just excuses and excuses are reasons stuffed with a lie. (They have the same meaning, fate and destiny. Meaning, Fate – destiny, fortune, chance, providence, luck, doom. Destiny – fate, fortune, lot, luck, providence, vocation, future.)

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Sandy Fishwick February 28, 2012 at 9:26 am

I found this excellent quote that sums it up perfectly
“Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.”
by Jim Rohn

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Missbkcol February 28, 2012 at 11:51 am

Great quote and it really does sum it all up in a nutshell.

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Missbkcol February 28, 2012 at 12:16 pm

We all have our own beliefs. Whether they are deemed to be right, wrong, or otherwise. To me it’s a case of whatever helps motivate and comfort you throughout life. Different things work for different people. Nothing is a one size fits all scenario.

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t looked up above to heaven, the universe, whatever you choose to call it for some divine intervention, clarity, support, or hand holding when making important decisions, or needing that extra boost of belief in myself to suck it up and keep going.

For me, I do believe that we create our own destiny by our choices, but obviously there are times things do happen that are entirely out of our control.

When all is said and done I know and realise that I’m the one that’s in charge of the direction of my life. I choose how I’m going to react to different situations and challenges. There are times it all works out and times it’s a ‘cluster’. But, that’s all part of life and being human.

:-)

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Nikki February 28, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Well said Missbkcol. I agree. I’m the same. I believe our choices help shape our destiny and the way we live our lives.
However, when things happen in our life that we have no control over, I do tend to take on the attiude of ‘oh well wasn’t or was meant to be’ or ‘all things happen for a reason, what can I learn from this, and where do I go now’ Maybe this is just a coping mechanism?

Religion is a touchy subject, isn’t it. I am not religious, but does it matter if someone is. Wow you can see how wars have started over it, but on the flip side it has also provided great comfort to people in their hour (or lifetime) of need and provides as a backdrop and support for many recovering drug addicts and alcoholics. Craig – this could be an interesting topic to explore (if your game enough)

Till next time :-)

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Missbkcol February 29, 2012 at 10:23 am

Thank you Nikki. I too really related to and liked what you had to say about this topic.

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Kelly February 28, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Missbkcol, I can relate to what you say. I’ve called for divine intervention at times as well.

Craig, thanks for this post. I physically wince when people say ‘the universe brought this to me’ or ‘fate brought us together’. While I don’t think we control absolutely everything in our lives, we do have the biggest say in how things turn out.

Have a great day. If you want to!

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Annette February 28, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Well said. that’s all from me except keep on doing what you are doing, love reading your emails.

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Taglia February 28, 2012 at 7:20 pm

I like what you are saying Missbkcol. I love the following quotes: ‘Whether you are checked in or checked out, you are always on a spiritual journey’ – Alanis Morisette

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” ~ Steve Jobs

Driving faster along the wrong road slows you down.-Robin Sharma

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Missbkcol February 29, 2012 at 10:21 am

I’ve never seen these quotes. Thanks for sharing them. :-)

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Suu February 28, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Sandy said “(They have the same meaning, fate and destiny. Meaning, Fate – destiny, fortune, chance, providence, luck, doom. Destiny – fate, fortune, lot, luck, providence, vocation, future.)”

I must admit that I use this in jest whenever something happens to me like brain tumour, severed nerves, spina bifida, glaucoma…. the list goes on and I say “What the heck can Fate/Providence/God hand me next? I don’t have the scalpel in my hand but I’m not about to blame the doctors who do their very best to keep me alive and smiling.
Actually, come to think of it, I put it down to ‘that’s life’. I even looked in a full length mirror this week and I’m looking my age! That’s a great achievement looking 57. It’s great to be 57.
Cheers to all of our beliefs. It’d be pretty mundane if we all agreed on everything.
:)

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Nikki February 28, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Love your attitude Suu. Very inspirational. I hope things get easier for you.

When I read your post and thought of myself sooking over a couple of measly grey hairs it made me think of a quote I read:

“If we put all our problems in a pile and saw everyone elses we would be scrambling to get ours back”

So thanks for putting things in perspective for me today.

Keep Smiling :-) X

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Missbkcol February 29, 2012 at 10:25 am

I’ve read alot of your comments on different topics Suu and I always enjoy reading them. You have an amazing outlook on life. :-)

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Ilze February 28, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Hi Craig,
I have a little different opinion in this:)
I believe in destiny, I really do.. I believe it is fate what brings me to places, or situations, or people I need to know in order to learn something, to improve myself. But I believe I have a choice.. I can choose to follow my fate, work hard, be brave and become better self OR I can choose to sit on the couch and weep over my bad luck.

I choose the first:)

(Maybe I couldn’t express myself too clear cause English is not my native language)

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Suu February 29, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Gosh! Thanks for the kind words. They won’t be forgotten.
It’s not always a bed of rose petals but I try not to linger in self pity when there’s so much to smile at and be thankful for.
Maybe Craig could give us a day where we all have to write down a minimum of 5 things that we’re grateful for.
Maybe 5 things or people that we need to forgive and why?
Thanks again :)

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Valerie February 7, 2013 at 10:56 am

Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though
you relied on the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why
throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog
when you could be giving us something informative to read?

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Gayle February 11, 2013 at 11:37 am

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