I just drove past a gym that was advertising group-exercise classes like this:
‘Small classes, lots of fun, no mirrors.’
No mirrors?
Why on earth is that a selling point?
Sure, mirrors aren’t necessary… but why would their absence be seen as part of sensible marketing and business strategy?
Something to be advertised?
Maybe for the same reason that people don’t want to know their weight or their body-fat percentage when I assess them.
“Don’t tell me, don’t tell me” people say to me as they reluctantly stand on the scales with their eyes shut.
“But you weigh what you weigh right?”
“Yeah but I don’t wanna know.”
“Why not?”
“I’ll get depressed.”
So I tell them their weight and they get angry at me.
Too funny.
Nasty Craig.
“Don’t get grumpy at me… I didn’t do that to your body.”
When it comes to reality, we’re experts at avoiding it.
I’ve written a post on ‘head-in-the-sand-itis’ before but it seems that we may be heading into an epidemic.
A pandemic even.
Maybe we’re there already.
It amuses me that a business can send out this message:
“Exercise with us and you won’t have to look at your fat selves in the mirror”
“Yep, sign me up!”
I think some of us should be surrounded by mirrors twenty four-seven until we stop deluding ourselves and start to get proactive.
I’m not a fan of mirrors in gyms for vanity reasons but they are valuable for:
1) Teaching correct exercise technique and
2) Keeping us grounded.
“Oh yes… (in a feeble, pathetic voice), but I find it so painful to look at myself in a mirror, it hurts so much.”
Really?
Well, wait for your first heart-attack; you might rethink your definition of pain.
And wait until your pancreas is so shot that you have to medicate every day for the rest of your life to manage your self-induced diabetes… then we’ll chat.
A little short-term emotional discomfort now doesn’t remotely compare to the world of hurt you’re gonna endure if you don’t change your mindset, your habits and your lifestyle.
No melodrama, just honesty.
It is what it is.
As I always say to my audiences “I can tell you what you wanna hear, or I can tell you the truth… you can get offended, defensive and precious… or you can get busy changing your reality.”
I actually tell people to go home, take all their clothes off and take a really good look at themselves in the mirror from all angles.
Slowly.
Preferably take photos as well.
Why?
Because it’s reality, that’s why.
It’s you.
It’s not some computer-generated future fat version of you, it’s you right now.
Deal with that, toughen up, get over the self-pity (it’s annoying and achieves nothing) and then you will start to see results quickly.
Real change.
Our physical reality doesn’t usually align with psychological reality.
In other words, it’s almost impossible for you to be objective about you.
Over the years I have taken thousands of ‘before’ photos of people (front, side and rear) before they start their weight-loss/fitness endeavour.
Invariably they are stunned when they see the pictures.
Why are they so shocked?
Because when it comes to their body, they live in some alternative reality; The Slim Zone.
The one where they look forty pounds lighter.
Amazingly, people always ask me to refrain from showing the photos to anyone else because on some level they believe that somehow the photos are worse than the ‘in the flesh’ reality.
“See me standing here in my workout gear but don’t look at that photo we took five minutes ago (in the same clothes) ’cause I’m so much slimmer in person.”
“I don’t really look like that photo.”
Weird.
I know that I may sound harsh to some of you and I know my approach and philosophy won’t sit well with everyone, that’s okay.
But twenty five years of going around in circles with people about the same issues and having the same conversations (often with the same people) will make you a little practical and matter-of-fact.
Okay, blunt.
I care more about your heart, arteries, lungs and overall physical health than I do about telling you what you want to hear; what’s comfortable for you.
I’m not really about popularity, I’m about change.
Results.
I know I could write more reader-friendly, politically-correct content but I would be compromising what I believe and watering down an important message.
So blunt Craig it is.
I’m not interested in fluffing someone’s emotional pillow or propping up their poor self-esteem for five minutes.
I’m interested in their long term physical health.
I’m interested in the truth of the situation.
I’m interested in genuine, forever (never going back) amazing, physical change.
It’s very possible but we continue to rationalise, justify and find new and exciting ways to sabotage our own goals and perpetuate our misery.
We consistently waste our potential.
And we continue to let our mind get in the way of our body.
We choose to inhabit the mythical Slim Zone.
Yep, I care about people’s feelings and emotional state and yes, I factor them into every interaction with every person… in fact, I work on the premise that getting in shape is largely an emotional process.
And Yes, I was a fat kid, so I get ‘it’.
However… I won’t be getting rid of the mirrors in my gym any time soon.
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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Craig
Fantastic post. I so agree with what you are saying. Way too many emotional pillows have been fluffed out there in weight loss land. Tell it like it is, whats the point of dancing around the real subject, trying to make someone think what they are doing to themselves is ok.
When things got tough, my Mum would say “Suck it up, princess”.
Love your work.
Sandi ()
ps. thanks heaps for your books (team member – gyst challenge)I have passed them onto friends to read
We love blunt Craig. Blunt Craig gets the job done. Fantastic article. All so true Mr Harper.
Hi Sandi.
“Suck it up, princess”.
Comment of the week thus far.
Nice.
( )
Hey Sam.
Thanks.
Yours Sincerely,
Blunt Craig
I recently bought a ticket out of the “Mythical Slim Zone”. Not sure that the plane’s taken off yet but it’s definitely taxiing on the runway! Just contacting the tower for clearance to take off…
I always wondered what that place was called…
Dearest Craig,
Although I adore blunt Craig and live and breath by your written word… I have to object only slightly with you today… but in the kindest most loving way possible.
Let’s say I have this friend… she is so not in the “Slim Zone” as you call it.
She uses mirrors as a checks and balances in her progress daily…she even goes as far as to brush her teeth in the buff, daring anything to jiggle!
She finds a mirror to be a valuable tool with no delusions of perfection as she can be quite ruthless with herself.
But photos on the other hand, she despises…
not because she looks fat or plump or whatever the PC word is for it this week… kilo challenged?
But for the simple fact that she is not photogenic…
Some people look fantastic in pictures, and ick in person… and vice versa.
Therefore it is not the alternate reality that is ALWAYS the root of the camera shy… it is more that through years of trial…
they have learned their limitations…
At least that is what my friend told me…
I personally think using mirrors in your daily workout allows you to target the area and focus your energy on a particular muscle/area. Not to mention, how will you ever know how far you have come and you never knew where you were?
Tami
()
“You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!!”
— X Files
I think, yeah, there are good pictures and bad pictures, BUT, when you look at a bunch of pictures taken by different people at different time and they all agree with each other, than you better believe that it’s the truth!
It’s only when we can face the truth that we’d know what to do about it.
I am an addict of your work and of this site….. i crave my Harper fix every day and I get excited when you’re on the David and Kim show… sad an pathetic huh… i am just an addict of the honesty and love the fact that you live in the real world where i think I am living.
Asma
Hi Kat… your plane has taken off and you are flying beautifully.
Peace.
Hi Tami.
Your friend huh?
Not photogenic huh?
Brushes her teeth in the Buff?
Your friend has issues.
( )
Hey Kel.
Wasn’t that from ‘A Few Good Men’ (Jack Nicholson)?
Cheers Puppet Man.
Hi Asma.
Thanks for the kind words. Glad you enjoy what I do… that makes two; you and my mum!
What is the origin of your name?
Interesting.
Peace.
Craig
Yes i agree ‘ if your a fat ass deal with it’. When i was really really fat i used to wear clothes 1 or 2 sizes bigger as if that was gonna hide anything. My dad hated it. He says that fat people should in fact were tight clothes so they constantly feel real uncomfortable and may even eat less cause everything is so tight. I understand his point but at the same time no one likes to see those ‘muffin tops’.
But don’t you think that mirrors sometimes lie? Do you think an anorexic should rely on a mirror as telling the truth? I known people who have cried themselves to sleep because they look so fat in the mirror yet they are really skinny.
I once lost more than 20kg (from 110 to 87)and dropped 2 dress sizes yet everytime i looked in the mirror i couldn’t see that change, i looked fatter than ever despite what the measurements,scales and people said, to me i still looked the same size. It was so frustrating i figured what’s the point and then gave up and have avoided full body mirrors since then. I even stopped going to the gym because i couldn’t stand to watch myself lifting dumb bells. The sight made me want to vomit. Maybe mirrors aren’t such a good idea if your screwed up in the head.
Ange
Gidday mate,
Got some great nude photos of myself. I’ll send them through.
Cheers mate, Vin.
Hi Craig,
The name Asma is a middle eastern name and my parents were born in Lebanon. It actually has a beautiful meaning in Arabic “heaven sent”… but the english version (with the exception of spelling) is not so flattering….
I have made it compulsary for all my employees to read your blog in the morning when they get to work (your site is everyones home page) so they they all stay healthy and motivated coz your messages are relevant not just to weight loss….
You might hear from me more now that I am not so shy to say hi….
Hope Danny is doing well….
By the way, you look fine in beige, but black is your defining colour….
Hi Ange.
We don’t need to obsess about mirrors or live on front of them… but neither should we have to avoid them to stay sane or happy.
We can use them as a tool in the weight-loss process.
But… I know where you’re comin’ from.
Hello Vincent.
If there’s one thing the world doesn’t need… it’s nude photos of you.
We love you.. but we’ll pass on the nudity thanks.
( )
See you next week.
Hi Asma.
‘Heaven Sent’… very cool.
Black is my ‘defining’ colour huh?
How come girls know this stuff and boys are clueless?
Thanks for the fashion advice.
Say hi to your employees from me.
Peace.
Steady on Mr Harper. Correct me if I’m wrong here but at 43 (or thereabouts) your last fat memory must be getting rather dim and you are now borderline unqualified to empathise with fat adults whose last mirror humiliation was today. Of course mirrors are a tool to aid correct posture while exercising but for some people (who have accepted the reality of their current image and are more than prepared to ‘suck it up’)the ‘man in the mirror’ is too shaming for those with low self esteem (that would be all of us)and can be counter productive to maintaining the momentum required to pursue the solution (exercise). ‘None so blind as those that will not see’but sometimes rose coloured glasses are required to maintain the vision of the solution rather than focusing on the problem ….which can be a little like rubbing a dogs nose in it..not helpful. Fine line between accepting reality and self abuse. So how about a compromise? Skinny mirrors, that way we can all get our form right while blistfully in the ‘slim zone’ just long enough to change the body that houses our skinny soul. and as for photos…common Craig we all know cameras add 10 pounds to you …that is a self evident truth. Reality bites but Hope Floats
Hello Anon.
Skinny mirrors in gyms?
Now there’s a great business idea!!
Cheers.
PS I have been a fat adult – 117kgs (nearly 260lbs).
Hm, thats not fat thats ‘plump’ but OK I’ll accept that you have carried extra weight as an adult (although I don’t recall you mentioning it in your blogs?) but it must have been a while ago because you look great now…and I have seen you up close
Anon
Ok I will let you know right off that this story has absolutely NOTHING to do with today’s post other than the fact it has a mirror in it!!
(Craig if you choose not to post this I will understand.)
I work with the physically and mentally handicapped.
A few years back I worked with a lady who even on a good day was not very nice. She stole from staff and other residents. She hit the other girls and would even throw furniture.
In her early 50′s she was epileptic, and diabetic. Life had NOT dealt her a very good hand.
The one thing she loved was MUSIC and Dancing. You can well imagine that most of our 12 hours included the stereo with familiar songs.
In the apartment we had a full length mirror. This girl was not used to seeing her own reflection.
One day she got a good look at herself.
She began to SCREAM!!!!
She hit the mirror and said….
“That girl has my shirt on!!!!!”
As much as we tried to get her used to it, to accept herself….sadly we could not. We had to take the mirror down.
I will be totally honest. Working in this field you must look for the humour!! We did get a good chuckle.
Dianne
I’ve always found the mirrors quite handy. You can check out the cute guy behind you without turning your head and getting caught. hehehe
Hey Craig,
Would you believe it was actually because I didn’t like looking in the mirror that I started exercising regularly (sure you don’t have bugging systems????)anyways have been doing at least 45 mins cardio a day need to find another 15min slot so need to look at my day again and need to build my weights to 40 mins from 20 but it is a start and better to start rather than to wait for perfection yeah.
And GYST really helped the momentum.
I have a different spin on this one totally agree you need mirrors in the gym for correct technique in training with free weights.
When I look in the mirror I see me not my weight and I look fine to me. When I look at myself on home movies or photo’s I get a shock especially when my big arms are showing. My dad always calls me a wresler I have arms 15″ arms that is big for a women, they look ok flexed but not in photo’s it just looks like tuck shop lady arms (my husband calls them that). I don’t mind looking at my body in the gym because I have good posture and always dress for the gym in clothes that are not too tight to not show the tummy.
I have been anorexic as a teenager and even after my first child stopped eating for 5 days because I wanted to be skinny. Today however it’s hard to loose the weight because I know how important food is for your brain and the only way I seem to loose it is by not eating. It’s 90% diet, 10% exersize. I don’t drink much water and have been told you don’t need to animals only drink when they are thirsty too. My husband hates the way I look right now and hopes one day I will be slim again, my 4 kids love me no matter how much I weigh.
I know I need to loose about 15kilo to be the women I should be but it’s going to take some big changes. From the start of the day to the end of the day.
Tanya
*insert twilight zone music in here*
I’ve just put up a post on my blog titled “I’m fat & ugly” in respect to how we see ourselves in the mirror. Great minds think alike me thinks! LOL!!
Have a great weekend!
Kind Regards,
Lia Halsall
Melbourne, Australia
http://www.liahalsall.blogspot.com