How did we get to the point in this crazy culture of ours where food has become something we use to manipulate, bribe, coerce, reward and medicate.
In the good old days…we ate because it sustained and nourished us.
Outdated and wacky notions I know, but effective nonetheless.
We gave kids food at designated meal times.
If my recent trip to the local shopping centre is any indication, we’re in trouble.
Apparently junk food is now being used to ‘train’ children to behave a certain way… just like we do with bears in the circus and the dolphins at Seaworld.
Sad.
I saw five different parents (or maybe carers) shove junk food into the mouths of crying or misbehaving children, to pacify them.
I actually watched a mother feed her baby (maybe ten months old) fries while she tucked into her bucket of fried chicken.
Two stupid, irresponsible decisions.
The poor little kid ate as many fries as he could, and then began to put the remainder in his mouth and systematically suck the fat and salt off them, one by one.
As an ex-fat kid, it broke my heart to see this child being handicapped before he even gets a chance to rationalise or decide for himself.
And by the time he can decide, he’ll be obese and programmed to consume vast quantities of crap, because that’s all he knows.
Mum’s grooming him for a life of obesity and emotional and psychological pain.
It seems that the good old pat on the back, hug or words of encouragement, don’t cut it anymore. Some parents are teaching their children that approval comes in the form of high fat, high sugar, high calorie rewards.
“You sat still for a whole five minutes…well done, here’s another donut.”
We reward ourselves too.
“I’ve been so good today; I deserve this”.
What… you deserve to be fat?
You deserve to over-eat?
You deserve to stress your body with additional, non-functional, weight?
So many of us see food as a prize for doing (or not doing) certain things.
We even ’save up’ for the weekend… so we can ‘let our hair down’.
We ‘plan’ to over-eat.
We tell ourselves that if we don’t let our hair down (over-eat) every now and then, we’re… missing out.
I spoke to a bloke recently who ‘rewards’ himself every night after dinner with sweet biscuits and ‘Cookies and Cream’ ice cream. When I suggested that he should give the biscuits and ice-cream a miss, he said: “yeh, but I’ve gotta have a life.”
Apparently, no late night binge; no life.
It’s amazing what we can rationalise when we try.
I’m not saying that food can’t be an enjoyable part of our life… and I’m not saying we should never eat our favourite ‘happy’ food, but I am suggesting that we shouldn’t come home from work every night and throw down a block of Toblerone because we’ve had a stressful day… and we deserve some food therapy.
Medicating or manipulating with food ain’t a great long term strategy for anything.
As long as we use food as a reward for certain behaviours (especially with our kids), we’re in trouble.
We are a society which starts this pattern early and we need to stop it.
If your two-year-old is a Golden Retriever, then food rewards are a great idea.
Otherwise, give them a miss.
* Let me know your thoughts… or if you have had a similar experience..
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Awesome post Craig…
I too was a fat kid and breaking the ‘habits’ has and is taking almost all my self discipline to make the constant choice of staying healthy. (I’m hoping it will be easier over time because the initial change is the hardest, as is sticking to it…but a healthy lifestyle isn’t another fad diet.)
I definitely agree with parental influence being a major factor when we’re younger but we also must take upon ourselves the consequences of our actions. We may live in an ‘instant gratification’ society that makes us want to embrace a short term whim over long term health, but it isn’t an excuse when we know better (and have people like you to teach us).
(I didn’t mean to step on your territory if I have, Craig, but I have been reading many of your past articles; which are both inspirational and informative. I’ve been waiting for my feelings to change, so they would change my behaviours…I now know it is the other way around. Keep up the excellent work! Thanks!)
Hello anonymous.
You know I get nervous when people who are smarter than me leave comments… thanks for the feedback and keep making me nervous!
I am involved with junior sports programs for kids the ones before competition starts. Education of the parents in essential as they do not think of the damage they are doing. If most were able to listen to the facts then many would change their habbits as everyone wants to do what is best for kids.
Education programs are changing and many new programs to address this education of kids and parents has started in some areas. What if government started to throw some big dollars at nutrition education in schools, imagine the impact it could have on kids and the parents. Craig how do we get health (activity & nutrition) on the same level as maths at school, which subject is going to have the bigger impact on society and the students lives?
Hi Craig
I found your article alarmingly true and as an ex childcare worker i too am horrified of the way parents today feed their children. It is not just the obesity issue that we must consider but also i believe the continually fluctuating behavioural syndromes which are forever appearing such as ADD. I am aware that their is a number of valid ADD sufferers, however i am also inclined to believe that if we improved the eating and exercise habits of our children their would be less need to medicate. I also believe that due to the society we live in today, many parents feed their children junk out of guilt (guilt of not being around) and that the lack of family unit as such and communication breakdown between generations has lead to our children finding solace in food. I too have battled with my weight throughout my childhood and still today as a twenty three year old find it ddifficult to stand away from my less healithy inclined friends and attempt to lead a healty and active lifestyle. Since discovering your site, i am however much more aware of what i am actually doing wrong and why i always seem to fall off. Cheers for the site it is a godsent. Kelly.
Hello Anonymous.
I think we’re seeing a (gradual) shift now in the priorities in schools (ie. health education, canteen options and fitness programs) .. unfortunately, it’s all happening too slowly for my liking..if there ain’t a big(ger) shift soon, the next generation of kids will be the first with a shorter life expectancy.
Amazing that our society is so educated and so stupid.
Hey Kelly.
Thanks for the feedback.
Keep doing what you need to do to create your best life.
I’m cheering you on.
Food sits right on that fine line between pleasure and pain. I lived 19 years of my life eating food:
1- When I was hungry
2- Because it was there
or
3- Because it tasted nice and I enjoyed eating it.
Good.
‘Normal.’
How most people want to live, whether this is the majority or not.
It’s only in the past year I’ve come to understand the power, food and the choices you make around it has, to heal and destroy. The main thing I can conclude, is that there are very few of us (if any) who eat, simply to keep the motor running. People eat because they’re bored, stressed, depressed, angry, upset, happy, celebrating- and the irony of it is- that it is for these exact reasons that people STOP eating. I think the best approach parents can take for their children, is to actually educate them about what they are putting into their mouths. As a child, junk food was something that was never really in my house. I remember going to my best friend’s house when I was about 7 and there were all these packets of chips. I’ve never been so excited in my life and I asked if we could have some. She didn’t really seem interested in the chips- because they were always there. I think kids that are surrounded by a large variety of food and actually appreciate different types of food don’t grow up with the relationship that kids who aren’t allowed other types of food do. Granted, my best friend was Italian (who I believe have a much greater appreciation for food that Australians) but because it was always there, if that food was eaten, there was no feeling of rebellion attached to it. Kind of like the parents of kids who enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. They’ve done research and found these kids are less likely to binge drink than kids who aren’t surrounded my alcohol- because it’s not seen as something rebellious- because it’s always been around them.
But what would I know? I’m only 20.
I reckon you know a fair bit… thanks for your thoughts. You’re pretty enlightened and mature for 20… or any age
You’re right on the money. Thanks for an enjoyable and thought-provoking post. (I came here via the carnival.)
Thank you for voicing my opinion. I catch myself all the time stopping myself from rewarding good behavior with food ( i.e. If you behave we'll go out for ice cream). I too grew up a fat kid and was smart enough to learn in my adolecent to create healthy habits (food choices and exercise). I now know better although my parents (the grandparents) disagree. They say I am depriving my child. She looks pretty healthy and happy to me so far. My rewards are hugs & Kisses and the occasional toy (an educational one of course).
Hello,
As a person that’s struggled with staying on a steady diet my whole teenage and young adult life (I’m 25), I find a great deal of truth in your words. I’ve used food to pacify and soothe myself since I was around 13 years old. Finding motivation to eat healthy consistently is extremely difficult and your article just opened up a whole new world of understanding for me. Your words are helping me reprogram my brain. Thanks for that