My point is, being overweight is a choice, to most, but the key is not to listen to people like Craig who seem hung up on the issue. There are tons out there that would like a military style campaign to get us all thin as. It’s a bit like whinging about those on the dole – they are all losers but will you give them a job or help to get one? Nahh too busy they say it’s up to the individual. Well, yes it is, but humans tend to dump their issues onto others based on what they think you or I should be. Yet in the same breath, Craig writes a lot about he should be married or we should avoid listening to those who say we should be X and Y. So if you are overweight, why should you worry because people want you thin? Seems again like a case of say one thing on one part of the site, but then say another when it’s a different issue.

Now, having said that, Craig is wonderful, he talks so much great stuff and I have respect for him, but like any human or animal relationship one disagrees with a person’s or pet’s behaviours or views and that’s ok. But if you read this post, if you are depressed, don’t let others as knowledgable as they are, to allow one to feel bad about one’s self because one is fat, on the dole, depresssed or whatever. As Craig said on another post, its what you allow. So fat may be a a choice, for some it may not, whatever, but the only reason to lose weight is for one’s self, not the kids, not to attract the perfect person, not society with it’s demands to be thin, but because it does make one feel better and from that, as I have found, other things flow. Do it for self, not because any person or organisation or the media wants you to be that matchstick.

Oh and Julie if you ever read this – tough love is fine, but self love and being kind to self, accepting self and doing something about your situation for yourself, not because some idiot won’t look at you, is far better than being admonished by self or others.

If i am hearing you correctly they are just plain jealous that they dont get up every morning and do what you do, they want what you have and there is only one way to get it as you know… be strong, you will meet better friends who are happy to ahieve, grow, change and enjoy the challenge:)

In regards to living with a partner (cant really advise here) but I do live with people again it is your body, be strong they will either succomb Iwhich is usually the way) to you way ..or? Either they are on your train or not..

Cheers
Kate

Julie – the best thing I’ve learned is the only person I can change is me and that if I love and believe in myself then that’s all that matters. I hope that doesn’t come across as being flippant, because believe me that has taken me 40 years to be comfortable with – be true to yourself and those that love and respect you will follow.

One thought I had: and you will be able to answer this because of your years of experience: if you are either quite short in statue or very tall (genetics) then do you feel that you want to eat LESS than average because you are short AND do you have an exceedingly healthy appetite because you are tall??
How do people with a disability (genetic or other) that doesn’t allow them to exercise as much as an “abled-person” affect their weight?
Mmmm interesting…..

Ultimately, the only person you can control is you. And the person that is the most important in this life, is you. Your soul, your spirit – everything that makes up who you are is what (I believe) you take with you beyond this life. Everything else is temporary.

In a less-than-perfect situation or relationship, you have the choice every day to be there or not. And if you find day after day that you wish you weren’t there, then you’ll make a decision along those lines when you’re ready. I’ve found it easier to not make decisions based on the perceived future and “what-ifs”. Only on what feels right for where I am now .. and not waiting for something to happen or someone to change to finally give me the life I desire.

If you choose to stay in a situation, then try to focus on making the most of it. Remember, you can always change your mind at any time and choose a different path. Keep your power.

Suz

I love it when you talk blunt… Keep it coming.
I have lost 20 kgs in the past year but with 10 to go I have given up over the last few months as it all became too hard…..
I so need to hear this type of talk… Its time to now get off my a*se and stop making excuses…
You are the best!!
Mary

Interesting problem, Julie. You know what they say: When a man falls in love with a woman, he wants her to stay exactly the same. When a woman falls in love with a man, she can’t wait for him to change.

There is nothing you can do until he decides himself that he needs to change (men can be incredibly stubborn if they feel pressured and will quite happily cut off their noses to spite their faces). You may just have to be patient in the meantime – and make sure that he has very good life insurance!

Christina xxx