How Not to Lose Weight

A Weighty Issue

Fact: Most people who lose weight regain it.
Fact: They don’t need to.
Fact: When it comes to losing weight (permanently), things are not always as they seem.

If you’re interested in losing weight in an intelligent, healthy and sustainable manner, here are some things to avoid:

1. Appetite suppressants. Potential side effects include headaches, skin rashes, anxiety, impotence, depression, cramps, blurred vision, insomnia, hair loss… and that’s the abbreviated list (for real).  
2. Low fat cereals. For the most part, they are processed, high-sugar, high-sodium, low-nutrition crap. Try rolled oats.
3. No-carb diets. Great way to acquire stinky breath, decreased energy, brain-fade and constipation. And massive short-term water loss.
4. Fat-burners. Most are stimulants which can increase heart rate, blood pressure, cardio-vascular risk (heart attack, stroke) and induce anxiety. Besides that, they don’t work.
5. Under-eating. A great way to slow your metabolism, lose muscle, feel like shit and train your body to preserve fat. 
6. The sales pitch. Marketing is not information; it’s a hook to entice you to believe and buy. That ‘healthy’ muesli bar on the shelf is probably full of sugar, fat, sodium, preservatives and calories.
7. Anything extreme. If you’re interested in rapid, unhealthy, short-term weight loss, then get on board the Extreme Train. Toot, toot. If not, turn down the emotion and turn up the logic.
8. Skipping breakfast. Refer to point five.
9. Liquid calories. Especially ‘healthy’ things like fruit juice (high in sugar, eat the fruit whole instead), smoothies (packed with up to 700 calories!) and weight-loss shakes (most low-fat shakes are high in sugar and therefore will create an insulin response).
10. The Ab-Blaster 7000 (or similar). Do I really need to explain?

Okay, now you know what NOT to do. :)

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Eric West | Friendship Society February 21, 2013 at 10:51 pm

I had to chuckle at number 2, “low fat cereals.” That sounds too obvious, but I know there are many out there that go that route.

I would also add “Drinking diet soda”. Studies have shown that the fake sweeteners in diet soda make you crave food. Plus soda is just bad for you, diet or regular.

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Sulagna - Love in India February 22, 2013 at 1:14 am

Hmm. A problem with exercising too much is that your body gets used to it and would gain back double the weight it lost once you stop. :(

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Anonymous February 22, 2013 at 1:46 am

Okay you see through my walls. I have done points 1-9 a zillion times but I must be better than most as I haven’t brought the ab blaster yet. I was intelligent enough to buy the ab circle instead. Used it on Christmas Day wearing silk pjs and I went flying off the machine and hurt my back. Haven’t used it again for some reason.

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Estelle February 22, 2013 at 8:27 am

Thanks for making my day. :) reminds me of when a set of poi I ordered turned up in the mail, thought I would try them out straight away in my lounge. Wham, hit the ceiling fan, definite adrenalin rush. Brought them to help coordination & tone up arm muscles. Not sure about either of that but got an ab workout from laughing so much once I got over the shock of poi being ripped out of my hands and flung around the room.

PS love the comments Craig.
Tried to explain point 5 in a positive way to a student I worked with the other day. Obvious body issues, (he’s fat) no offence. Hopefully he takes some of it on board.
BUT hardly eats, it’s crap food anyway, toast, iceblock and packet of chips and there you have brain and body food for a day at school and wondering why he feels sick. Apparently they don’t have enough money for more food, then he headed off to pick up his $300 skateboard. Priorities, priorities…..aaaaah

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Melissa February 22, 2013 at 8:49 am

I love this post, I do weight watchers combined with a exercise and it works very well – when the ww program is followed!!

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Nikki February 22, 2013 at 10:01 am

Eat healthy
Excercise
Stick to it
Seems so simple, until emotion comes along and stuffs it up every time….
and I just ordered a ‘natural’ fat burner promising that I won’t have to change one thing about my diet knowing full well it is a waste of money! I gotta say, giving up unhealthy food is proving to be much harder than giving up smoking which I did over 10 years ago now! I want off this roller coaster ride, now :-(

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Jen February 22, 2013 at 11:58 am

Aarrruuuggghhhh! Number 3 – please tell my sister and brother in law this.

They keep posting links on facebook to some guy who talks about all the scientific backing he has for his high-fat diet that eliminates grains. He even provides a list of references that he says backs up his theory. There are 13 articles on the list – most of which are quoted out of context (like the article about treatment of severe juvenile type one diabetes in a hospital setting by restricting carbohydrates).

Compare this to the newly published Australian Dietary Guidelines which has 1128 references – and they are relevant!

The thing that cracks me up about they guy whose website they are in love with is that he talks about being able to achieve an elite level of fitness through eating no carbs. But look at the diet of a professional athlete or ballerina and they sure as hell wont be eating pork crackling and fried, grated cheese for dinner.

Sorry I got a bit off topic here – just needed to rant.

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chebbieanne February 22, 2013 at 12:03 pm

If you really dont want to lose weight I have found that losing confidence in your ability to do so combined with a bit of erratic under eating works really well.
You can still eat healthy food, drink heaps of water, keep calories under control and exercise daily and regain weight.
The trick is to remind yourself daily that you cannot lose weight – your body will do the rest.

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Anonyfem February 24, 2013 at 11:28 am

No.11 – Continue to think about losing WEIGHT and using the scales as a measure of that loss.
Weight fluctuates up to 4 kgs from day to day, so if I hop on the scales on a ‘good day’ I’m very disappointed if I’ve gained weight the next day or next week.
Personally,I’ve had better results thinking about losing mass, measured by how my clothes feel on me. I use a pair of drawstring pants once a week as my measure. Started at comfortable to put on. If they get hard to put on I know I need to put in a bit of extra effort. If they are easy to put on I tighten them to ‘comfortable’ and use that as my baseline for the next week.

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Trolleywife February 24, 2013 at 5:42 pm

5. Under-eating. A great way to slow your metabolism, lose muscle, feel like shit and train your body to preserve fat: This resonates with me because so many friends I have do this. I try to explain you need to eat much more, however healthy stuff. They get fatter every time. It is very sad.

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