Hi Guys. CJ here. Long time no chat. I’ve missed you a little but I’m only human so I guess that’s to be expected. 
Coming! Ready or Not!
Years ago (like, many years ago), I played hide and seek with my little sister. She calmly sat on the sofa and closed her eyes. Which wouldn’t have been a problem except that she was supposed to be the one hiding. In her mind, if she couldn’t see something (in this case her bemused big sister), it didn’t exist. A cunning plan but, clearly, a little flawed.
Be Afraid, Very Afraid
Back in May 2009, I attended Craig’s first Renovate Your Life program at Anglesea, Victoria. On the second night, one of his crew brought in a little machine. To me, it looked a bit like one of those dooby-whackies that they use to test electrical appliances: a small plastic box with an electronic display, some buttons and a couple of thin cords hanging off it.
It was only when Craig explained what the device could tell us that my heartrate began to increase. Nervous beads of sweat broke out on my forehead and I instantly became aware of a feeling of anxiety. And I don’t think I was the only person in the room who was experiencing such a dramatic reaction, just quietly.
You see, the innocuous-looking machine was a Bio Impedance Body Composition Analysis thingamajig. That is, it could measure (amongst other things) exactly how much of one’s body is made of fat, how much is made of muscle and, therefore, calculate one’s body-fat percentage.
Like, exactly. No ‘Oh, you have big bones’. No ‘You look fine, you carry it well’. No ‘Geez, they’re making the clothes smaller nowadays’. Nope. Just cold, hard, indisputable facts. Shit.
You Can’t Handle the Truth
As I reluctantly but curiously volunteered for the (optional) body-composition analysis (aka reality check), it struck me that I’d never been a big fan of facts. They’re so, well, factual. Objective. Unemotional.Terrifying. I’m more of a subjective ‘grey area’ kinda girl. Some might say deluded. I like to call it optimistic. Unfortunately, I had optimisticated my way to a very large arse.
“Please don’t drag me out of my comfortable delusion. It’s so warm (and high-calorie) in here.”
So, before I could say ‘Does that machine make my bum look big?’, I was lying on my back with two small electrodes stuck on my foot and another two stuck on the back of my hand. It felt a little like being in an electric chair. Only slightly less relaxing. (Although I can’t be sure because the customer feedback on the whole electric chair experience is, understandably, somewhat limited.)
Sometimes, the cold, hard truth sneaks up on us gradually. Sometimes, we have to discover it through a long journey of self-discovery. And, sometimes, it is handed to us on a sheet of A4 paper with the heading ‘Body Composition Assessment’.
That’s a Great Result – For a Polar Bear
So, there it was. In black and white. My body-fat percentage. I discovered that my alleged voluptuousness and curves were, in fact, fat and rolls. Reality is a heartless bitch.
I stood there gaping like a goldfish. My brain tried to form some justifications, rationalisations and explanations but they all seemed to evaporate in the light of the facts – they tumbled from my mouth incomplete and unconvincing: “I didn’t think … surely it can’t … but I thought … I’ve been so busy … it just kinda crept on … “
As I looked around the room through teary, prickly eyes, I could see that at least two or three others were wearing the same ‘I’ve just been kicked in the nuts by the Reality Fairy’ expression. There were a few hugs. Some tears. Some sniffly resolutions that this was the lowest point – that it would be onwards and upwards from here.
Closed for Stocktake
Five months later, I had the test repeated so I could determine exactly how my new behaviour (and new attitude) was reflected in my body. I knew that I was smaller and I felt better but it was so rewarding to (again) have the figures in black and white in front of me. My body-fat percentage had, thankfully, decreased into the realm of normal and healthy (for a human). A few weeks ago, just before the MBE program, I undertook the test again and I was happy with the results.
The whole experience taught me the value of collecting base-line data when we embark on any kind of change journey. With our bodies, it can be as sophisticated as having a Body Composition Test conducted or as simple as (bravely) breaking out the tape measure. Or, it might involve taking some front, side and back photos in the buff. Want a reality check? Nude pics will do it.
Of course, numbers on a page only have the meaning (and power and impact) that we allow them to have but they do provide us with a level of perspective and objectivity that’s hard to find when it comes to such a sensitive and emotive area of our existence (that is, how we ‘see’ and ‘feel about’ our body).
Perhaps the first step to improving our financial situation (for example) would be to unemotionally and accurately take a snapshot of where we are currently. Maybe if our goal is to improve our relationships, we could write a summary of those relationships and (as objectively as possible) assess their strengths and weakness. And then hide it really well.
Remember, you can take stock at any time. It doesn’t have to be a Monday, your birthday or the start of the financial year. The sooner you do it, the sooner you will be able to look back and see the changes. As John Mayer says:
“… I can’t wait to figure out what’s wrong with me”
“So I can say this is the way that I used to be”
No More Ostrich
On occasions, we (um, that would be me) ignore things in the hope that they will just go away. Or fix themselves. We feel that if we don’t recognise them, measure them or face them, then they don’t exist. We are afraid that if we find out the facts about our situation, we will be forced to do something about it. And, often, it’s the doing part that scares the pants off us.
Perhaps, though, we just need to be brave, bite the bullet and face the facts. Then, if we feel we need to, change those facts. Afterall, as some business-type-much-smarter-than-me-person once said:
You can’t manage what you don’t measure.
So …
Do you agree that it’s necessary to measure an aspect of us (whatever that might be) in order to change it? How has this worked for you in the past (or not)?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
CJ xox
P.S. Johnny asked me to announce the winner of the health/fitness coaching session with Craig (re last Wednesday’s post). So… congratulations to ‘Koffeeekate’. If you can email Johnny, he will hook you and the big fella up. So to speak. 
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
In the last 6 months I have gone from a healthy size 12 to a fit size 8 and not long ago I had my BMI tested. I was thrilled with the results, although when I look in the mirror I STILL see and feel the size 12 woman. Obviously I am smaller (because I had to go out and buy a new wardrobe of clothes), but I just don’t feel like a size 8. Maybe I need to take some nude pictures of myself and the true size and measure of my body will really sink in.
Nude photos of me – now there’s something the world doesn’t need.
Nice article CJ.
Kaz. x
Hi CJ,
Very interesting post, but I want to talk about the comments made by Anon as they really struck a chord with me.
Having been overweight most of my life, I lost a great deal of weight on two occasions and felt I ‘wasn’t me’. I somehow felt weak, insignificant and, to a certain extent, invisible when I was thin. As I was strong and fit as well as thin, I obviously wasn’t weak, but I constantly have to battle the perception that weight equals strength and power.
I suspect that’s one of the reasons most people, particularly women, put weight back on after losing a lot of it. Obviously, it feels more familiar and comfortable being as you have always been, but more importantly, you can feel small and unimportant (and hence easy to disregard) at a smaller size.
Yes, I do think you have to face facts in order to be able to change them. I have a friend who refuses to weigh herself because she doesn’t want to deal with that knowledge. I think I have displayed every known behaviour and used every excuse going when I was heavily overweight.
After 30 years of it I decided I’d had enough and started a new lifestyle plan. I went from 110kg to 70kg and felt fantatstic. But unlike Pandora, I found it harder to cope with being me slim than when I was fat. When I was large I actually felt invisible and that was fine. Suddenly I was attracting so much attention where ever I went that I found it overwhelming and confronting. I literally could not go out the door unless someone mentioned my weight loss to me. I was the focus of attention and I really didn’t like it at all. I began to wonder what I used to talk to people about before my body became the topic of conversation.
Unable to deal with so much pressure, I steadily regained 14kg. I used to always think how do people put all their lost weight back on, but I realised, very easily! Luckily I managed to put the brakes on and start being sensible again and am now headed back the other way. Really was not prepared for the onslaught of emotions the whole weight loss thing caused. I do think I will be OK now but I also understand why many overweight people find it safer where they are.
Hi CJ,
Oh I remember that day very clearly – I was also mortified at what that little machine told me!
For years I justified that even though I was overweight, it wasn’t that bad, but to have it there in writing that almost half my bodyweight was in fact fat was devastating.
Once I had time to process the information though, it was actually one of the best things I could have been told – it was the catalyst for me getting off my butt and actually taking control of the situation. I had the test redone a few months later and was ecstatic to know that I had decreased by body fat by 15%. I’m overdue to have the test done again, thanks for the reminder … I think I’m due for a visit to Harpers!
I find that hard to believe CJ. You looked terrific at MBE
Great post….for me the reality check was one day getting ready for work in front of the mirror and thinking “what have you done to yourself”. How I got there is another story but that was the trigger for some serious change. Fortunately no probes were required.
Long story short that day was a little less than 12 months ago. Now 20+ kg’s lighter physically, better eating habits, clearer thinking and in the mood for change
I’m keeping things on track by having a PT, being “conscious” of what I’m eating, when I’m eating and how much and without being obsessive – talking about being healthy and walking the talk.
Totally agree about the “right time” comment. Draw the line in the sand now people and get on with the doing.
2.) successful people find a lesson while others only see a problem.
choose your attitude.
W.
Isn’t it strange that when you need a reality check on usually slaps you in the face if you look in the right places!
I haven’t read Craig’s posts for a couple of weeks now (sorry Mr H) and thought I would log on today to check it out and I read CJ’s “very” accurate post of where I’ve been at for the last 6 or so months.
I lost 30 kg a little over 12 months ago and felt great, in control and living the life I always wanted…… then I started to let things slip and then slip a little more etc etc…. all the time thinking that I wasn’t gaining that much I still looked OK, friends still making comments that I looked good even with a few extra kilos, “you look healthier now in the face not so gaunt, lol”. Talk about head in the sand!
It was only last Monday I finally slapped myself and took a long hard look at the expanding waist and thighs. (12 kilos added on)
Time for some thoughtful reflection…. I am happier with myself when I’m in “control” of what I shovel in my mouth! I “feel” better, my body “feels” better when I eat healthier and exercise…. light bulb moment… don’t listen to everyone else, listen to my “body” and don’t let my brain tell me differently.
So “THANKS CJ” for writing a great post. It is great to know that others have the same problems & issues.
Sue
Hi guys,
Thanks for your comments – lots of bravery and honesty there.
Anon, you might like to read Craig’s post called ‘Your Turn to Teach: Fat Chick in a Thin Suit’ from 10 September, 2009. (just type it into the search thingy in the top right corner of the site). The comments on that post were very helpful in addressing the challenge of adjusting our mental image to fit our new physical reality. My only advice would be that it takes time (a lot of time, in fact) to feel that your new body is ‘normal’ for you. Be patient with yourself.
Hugs for you all,
CJ xox
Along with others I had a severe reaction to a change from what I was like most of my life. I had been thin and athletic until university when beer+crap food+no sleep+no exercise+crap food (yeah there was a lot of crap food) I gained about 22 kg in 5 years (58kg to 80kg at my heaviest). I felt horrible and not comfortable in my own skin. After 2.5 years of hard slog I am back to being happy with my body 66kg.
I started weighing myself early in 2008 but it didn’t change very often so I fell of the band wagon. Then I had a health assessment at work, where weight, waist, blood sugar and cholesterol were taken. This assessment was conducted every six months. Its amazing having more then one feedback; my blood sugar and cholesterol where fine from the start however between assessment 1 and 2 I lost a measly 1.5kg but an amazing 8cm off my waist. It showed me that weight was not the only measure. Assessment 3 was yesterday and I have lost 6.5kg and 2cm off the waist. That waist measurement is probably as small as I can go, my organs have to go somewhere lol.
So yes cold hard numbers have worked for me eventually it was taking the right ones. I wonder where I can get a BF measure done?