Hi Team. I hope this finds you well and inappropriately happy. So happy, you’re annoying everyone around you. There will be no personal development download today but rather, a few shared thoughts from me.
You Okay Harps?
Over the last few weeks, I’ve received a few emails from people enquiring about the ‘tone’ of some of my recent posts. Apparently some people are concerned that I might be a little grumpy or angry. Or, whether I might be going through some kind of personal hardship or challenge and that’s being reflected in my writing style. Funny, I’d never really thought about having a writing style. Some ‘experts’ have told me that what makes my writing unique is the absence of style. 
If you meet me in person, hear me on the radio or come to one of my workshops, you’ll realise that my ‘style’ is actually my personality and just the way I communicate.
Having said that, I do realise that there are times when I call a spade a shovel and when I my approach is more “slap you in the head” than “arm around the shoulder”. And yes, I have been more direct with some of my recent posts but it’s been a conscious decision, not a reaction, style change or reflection of my mood.
In order the create shift in our world (internal and external) sometimes we need a kick in the butt. Sometimes we need to get past the hand-holding and back-slapping stuff and down to the practical reality of what’s required to create – and maintain – change.
Individual Interpretation
One of the challenges of writing for a large audience is that every reader will interpret, process and react to each one of my posts in their own unique way. That is, you will read my stuff and then create your own experience based on things like beliefs, attitude, understanding and even, your emotional state when you read it. What will motivate one person, will offend another. What will make one person laugh, will cause another to feel uncomfortable. What will make one person curious, will confuse the crap out of another. And so on.
Darn that whole being different thing.
If only we were all clones.
Different Feedback About the Same Post
Last week I received two emails about a particular article within ten minutes. One reader told me that she found my use of the ‘s’ word to be offensive and that she wouldn’t be visiting my site any more. The next reader told me that she loved that same article (it was her favourite for the year) and that she had sent it to her entire mailing list.
Shit hey?
That’s part of the challenge of being a coach and teacher.
I believe that – for the most part – I am writing for an educated, intelligent and mature audience who are serious about, and committed to the challenge of person growth and lasting transformation. I also realise that with over 45,000 subscribers and thousands of other visitors to the site daily, I will never create universal connection, support or approval.
So, I’ll do my best.
When we want to get offended, we will. When we want to learn, we will. When we want to change, we will.
Too simple?
That’s your choice.
Not Angry, Happy
For those few who are worried, let me tell you that (me) using the odd swear word or being blunt in my writing is in no way a reflection of my current emotional state or what’s happening in my life. My life is awesome. Ask anyone who knows me and you’ll discover that I rarely get angry. Rarely. Johnnie (my business partner) has known me for nearly five years and has seen me angry twice. Each time, for about five minutes. FYI, I am currently as happy and content as I’ve ever been in my life. Ever. My family and friends are happy and healthy, I’m learning and growing, I’m making a difference (sometimes) and business is going great. I have much to be grateful for and I am.
Grateful.
I think some people mistake my intensity, conviction, honesty and passion for anger.
What are you looking at?
Just kidding.
I can be happy, content and blunt. In fact, I’m quite good at it. Many people are uncomfortable with the absolute truth, directness or total honesty so they would rather a personal development message that allows them to stay comfortable, safe and sitting on their arse for another decade.
Oops, there I go again.
I’m of the opinion that most personal development (stuff) doesn’t lead to lasting change. I think many teachers, speakers and writers are more concerned with popularity and profit than they are with challenging and coaching people towards their best life – no matter what.
I also think some teachers, speakers and writers are ace and do fantastic work.
Christmas Idiots
In my last post, I said that some people behave like idiots at Christmas. That comment was not a reflection of my mood at the time. It was a reflection of what actually happens. It’s not an opinion, theory or abstract concept – it’s an undeniable fact. Just take a look around over the next six weeks. How dare I state the obvious.
“Poor Craig, he’s grumpy.”
Good grief.
Not grumpy. Realistic. Practical. Honest.
I will admit that, sometimes when I’m busy and limited for time – like now when I’m finishing my book – I will often cut to the chase with my key message. But that’s more of a I-don’t-have-four-hours-to-write-a-post thing than it is an I’m-a-having-a-bad-day thing.
I believe that most of us make the change process unnecessarily complicated – from time to time.
Or, all the time.
As you read my stuff, keep in mind that I have been having the same conversations about the same issues for the last three hundred years. Or so.
You know I’m immortal right?
So, after fifteen million how-do-I-get-a-smaller-arse conversations, one tends to get past the fluff and straight to the key issues: attitude, behaviours, decisions, reactions.
Like you, I’m still evolving, learning, growing and still making mistakes. As a writer and teacher, I’m still a work in progress and I’m acutely aware of my numerous shortcomings.
I’ll continue to do my best and so will you.
Group hug? ( )
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{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }
And what would be wrong with a little anger anyway? Let’s NOT get into making some emotions prettier than others. They are just emotions. Give me a whole range please. A full palette. I don’t want to censor myself. So long as I don’t damage anyone or anything, anger is interesting. It tells me a lot about myself. About what matters to me. Also, anger can be a great motivator. I never walk harder than when I’m feeling sh%^&*tty (wouldn’t want to offend!) about something….
Well then don’t read Craig’s blog simple.
Shit Craig…..I never thought you were having a crisis or anything. I did wonder if you were thinking differently these days due to having the wind in your hair……maybe you’ve got a ponytail now……dreadies…..all that hair to play with now, not as much time for blogging ;-p
Go have a cheesecake will ya!!
Group hug accepted ;-p
Must admit I enjoy reading your pearls of wisdom. Better that they are not sugar coated – actually saves on calories. Being fat, unhealthy, delusional and living in denial, from my vast experience gained over many many years is sort of comfortable in a weird way. Coming back out into the real world is confronting at best. Its also scary,sweaty,sore and downright gross at times.While we need to hear advice we dont actually want to listen to it let alone act on it.Sometimes in order to deal with all this it is much easier to try to shoot the messenger.Sorry Craig!
keep it real.
`nuff said.
I don’t read moodiness in Craig’s posts at all. I appreciate the bluntness, because that’s how I think (but don’t often speak). I can also vouch for the consistency over time of the content on this blog. Only this past week I was thinking that I’d read some of these posts before.. or something of a similar jist… even so, they seem fresh and were appreciated none the less.
Btw… I thought of Craig today when I was buying some Hydroxycut at a healthfood store in KL (I’m getting back into my BTFFM routine). Any hoosle, as I picked the product off the shelf I thought to myself, “I’m probably buying expensive pee”. Still, it gives me a bit of a psychological edge: The placebo effect.
You okay Harps,
Harps figures out his strengths and employs them in as many contexts as possible.
Harps is grateful. I am grateful for knowing him and often like to give him my heartfelt ‘thank-you’.
Harps has taught me to forgive and let go.
Harps is the kindest soul.
And Harps makes time for his friends and family – strong personal relationships are one of the keys to our happiness.
Harps is okay.
Funny, i didn’t get the impression you where going through a personal crisis, i just figured you where..you know…getting old. Maybe losing it a little but you, crisis? Never. Your a tank. It would take some major shit to knock Craig down.
You never get angry? Oh come on, you’ve never had one of those days where you just want to stab people in the neck?
Although i must mention, having screamed my way out of the womb and continued screaming for the last 38yrs, i’ve felt calmer and more in control of my anger since i stopped eating sugar & grains. Connection? It’s amazing what a clean diet can do for your mental wellbeing.
Craig, I know that whatever you write, you say with a grin on your face, your tongue in your cheek and that big softy heart of yours – keep them coming – even the direct hitting stuff. <3
spot on michael! They suscribe, log on, read (4 free) then winge, complain and project! Dillusional… (funny) it is called craig harpers.. Ahh even in cyber world the world we live in…lives!
Personally I loved your Christmas post! Perhaps a little too close to the bone for some? I actually believe that style is a reflection of your personality, whether it’s writing style, conversational style or clothing style, so there’s no such thing as “absence of style.” You reach the people you can reach with your “voice” and the people who don’t like swearing and a no bullshit attitude will find what they need somewhere else. As for me, I kind of like the no holds barred attitude.
mmmmmmm, add denial
How we interpret any thing is 100% about us.
Not the message, the movie, the song.
I can not worry about you. It makes no sense. Worry is useless and you are in charge of you.
I really admire Craig, he understands this very simple concept.
“What you think of me, has absolutely nothing to do with me.”
Rock on, big guy.
Craig, I love your columns especially because you are bluntly honest, straight to the point and humorous. Particularly liked this week’s posts. We all need a kick in the pants upon occasion along the road of personal development/growth/improvement. If anyone doesn’t like your style, there is a million of soft, namby-pamby, couldn’t possibly hurt your fragile feelings, self-esteemy websites out there. But only one Craig Harper
K, this one brought me out of lurking…I loved the ‘Idiot’ post! It made me laugh — heartily, then ruefully, ‘cuz I HAVE BEEN a Christmas Idiot. I have contributed to the idiocy of others, and caught myself this am planning a baking marathon for an upcoming family Xmas ‘do’ this weekend…WHY do I need to kill myself and bring forth enough shortbread to fatten an army? I am baking for 7 people, and my delectable shortbread should not be consumed like popcorn, despite it’s attractive bite-size composition. I invested in lovely little angel tins some time ago, which I could never bear to use ‘cuz they were soooooooo ‘tiny’ — but nobody on my list needs mass quantities of shortbread. One batch will make enough to give each person a lovely little treat, to be savoured, not scarfed…thanks, Craig! And thanks for the sharing you do on this site…love those head-smacks! And NEED them, if I am ever to create lasting change in my physical existence…
Group hug?!? Absolutely…
And as to your Christmas message the other day? Loved it! Spot on! Almost decided to print it and include in my Christmas cards! Still might…
And to anyone who might get offended at your posts or your language?? OMG… they should be so lucky as to get a life… life is short – be tolerant, hit delete if you don’t like something – no need to comment or harangue. It’s my (our) choice to read your posts or not, to follow your advice or not, to learn from you or not, to move forward or not. Blessings to you Craig – and keep it coming – your humor and direct ways are gifts to me and, I’m sure, many others. Afectuosamente, Christina
Craig,
Love it, love it, love it!!! I’ve spoken with my clients many times about taking responsibiltiy for their actions instead of getting ready to get ready. Those that actually make lifestyle changes are the ones that actually see lasting physical changes. Some people love my work and some people hate it. It depends on their day, their mood, how they slept last night, what they ate, who said hello and who didn’t, and if they’ve had their morning hug;)
Great post buddy. Keep up the great work.
-Nate
That is funny – I like a little straight shooting and honesty myself :<)
I fit in perfectly with the Christmas Idiot usaully and appreciate the straight talk. THanks, Paul
you’re awesome Craig.
I find your site & your approach & no fuss attitude so helpful & have been visiting regularly since finding it a couple of months ago. I found it by typing into google…. “help me get out of this rut”….. and your site was the first one that was listed… true story. 
I thought the last few posts were funny as hell!
Now enough sooking about offending anyone (mostly just people who need to lighten the F up) and get your book released.
C’mon tough guy – bring on the book – Im ready!!!
Cheers for the smiles, Kelly ;o)
I personally love your straightforward attitude Craig, and being a regular listener on Saturday mornings have figured that what we hear and read is what you are – refreshing in this day and age of people trying be something they are not.
Sometimes we coddle people to much and help them to be dependant and stay stuck in their sh..t. Granted there are times when we should tread carefully but we only get one shot at this life so if we / others stuff up – best to say sorry / help / forgive / learn from / move on. We can only improve right????
Hi Craig
No need to explain yourself. You speak from the heart and thats what makes you worth reading.
Yes we all need a kick in the butt occasionally. The trick is to learn to realize when we need it – and apply it to ourselves ! ( less painful)
Okay, now I’m feeling loved. I’m cancelling therapy today and I’m putting down this piece of cheesecake right now. Thanks for your feedback guys and a warm welcome to our newbie commentors – thanks for saying hi.
Hi Craig,
I just want to say that I think your articles are great! and am looking forward to reading your new book!
Cheers
Emily
Another great post Craig……..I can’t believe someone can be offended by the “s” word typed a few times …….suck it up princess!!!!! not you…..her!….I think she really left because what you said/say struck a nerve & she didn’t want to hear what she has to hear so will blame & critise you……….better to be rid of people like that. I love you posts & get something out of most of them. Keep doignt he great job you are doing now…….you are helping heaps of people…..Kim
Love it! Love it! Love it! Thanks again for bringing a smile to my dial and reminding me to stop over complicating shit! Have a great day Craig. Group hug right back at ya
P.S.: It is true that the S-word is considered taboo by educated people in certain cultures.
S-word : A weapon consisting typically of a long, straight or slightly curved, pointed blade having one or two cutting edges and set into a hilt.
I applaud your honesty and just wish the readers of this site (the few that take offence) would lighten up and use their brains to focus on the point of these posts – TO MAKE US THINK. Great job.
HI Craig,
I just want to say that i know where you are coming from. I have been teaching group fitness classes for many years and i also am totally beyond the point where i try and ease people into the ‘truthness’ of what its going to take them to get fit and lose fat etc. I just go straight for the throat now. They either WANT to make the effort thats necessary or they dont. I think you get to an age and a life experience level where you just know that being ‘mamby pamby’ just doesnt do anyone any favours and not to mention its a complete waste of precious time.
I am also a personal trainer and at first i was worried this direct approach may scare clients away….and i was right….it did…..for a small handful of them. And then i found people coming to me like flies….they couldnt get enough of this direct approach. They told me its what they NEEDED to hear and it inspired them into action like nothing else. I live my whole life like this now….just call it like i see it and i dont need the approval of those who object to it anyway. Its workin for me.
From a fellow straight-shooter
Craig,
I am a little suprised that you went to the trouble of explaining your position on these things. You know what you say is the truth. End of story.
More to the point, the people who object to the direct appraoach also know what you say is the truth. That is why they bristle. They are just looking for a soft landing, a shady area where the blinding truth is mottled and allows the self delusion to continue.
I believe your more direct posts are your “tour de force”. How wonderful to wake up to a post “How to stop being a dick head”!! That is priceless.
Many people would rather be comforted by a lie than confronted by the truth. That is not your problem.
The Christmas idiot is alive and real, no question. I see it every year in others. I actually find it amusing to watch. Some people I know really look forward to Christmas so that they waddle in the Cristmas idiot excuses!!
Stormy bear, thanks for your comments the other day. They were apprerciated
Keep up the honesty Craig.
Morning Craig,
I love your posts, and the honesty you bring….I love this line in the post from this morning, more truer (if that’s a word) words could not have been spoken.
“When we want to get offended, we will. When we want to learn, we will. When we want to change, we will”
Thank you
Cheers
Mich
Craig,
You are THE BOMB
Love your work.
“Hot Rosie”
I haven’t found your recent posts as “angry” but agree that they are honest. I lead a company of around 70 people and open my office, my ears, and sometimes my heart to peoples issues. But i also feel that at times people are taking the piss out of me and consider me some sort of personal counsellor. Your posts have resonated with me. These people are here to work, that’s why I pay them. Yes, I want their work environment to be positive, rewarding, yada, yada, yada. But sometimes the words “suck it up” seem to be more appropriate than having a hug!
Haven’t read your Christmas Idiot post yet since I have been sick and not on the computer much since Saturday. I like your brand of brunt honesty. With you, one always knows exactly where you stand on everything. I am the same way. I don’t like game playing.
I don’t use many curse words myself but sometimes the word “Shit.” just says it all. The word has an attitude all its own that just can’t be expressed with any other word. My husband will tell me I am not a lady when I say “Shit.” I tell him I don’t care. A word does not make me a lady or any less of a lady. I am a classy lady who happens to like the word “Shit.” Sometimes it just fits the situation.
Your writing is fantastic. I’ve seen you speak and its very hard not to agree with your thoughts.
If more pople had your attitude and approach to life then I know the would be a far better place.
…………..not to mention we would all have bigger biceps and wear flannel shirts.
Hi Craig,
I think you’re a wonderful person and you say it as it is. I agree with others if people don’t like your style then they have a choice.
The weird thing is I believe I am alot lot like you. I have a tendency to express things in different words or tone just to make a statement or to get my point through on my thoughts.
And I also have been told that my expression comes across as if I am angry or not in a good mood. I think if people take the time to know and understand where you are coming from they will understand who you are.
We are all different people and we all get our meaning/lesson through to people in different ways. I don’t believe there is a wrong way just different ways to suit different people
You’ve won me, keep up the wonderful work.
The “s” post was my fvourite for the year too. I sent it to all my colleagues. I have it printed out and posted on my wall above my desk and I read it every day!
Nothing wrong with saying the way it is….and that is the way we like Harps to be – honest, to the point and above all truth which sadly is not appreciated by many.
Keep doing what you do best, Harps – You know we love you.
I always remember rule No. 6. NEVER take yourself too seriously. (I also prefer the blogs that say shit)
That’s all I have to say on this. You are great Craig!!!
And just for the record, who likes beating around the bush anyway? Straight forward is the way to go.
-Shana
Shit Craig dont you realise we all live in a world of political correctness, wrapped up in cotton wool, careful he might hear you, you might offend, BLAH BLAH BLAH.
The Truth hurts sometimes and its up to us to handle the pain not you to modify the way you say it.
Keep saying what you say the way you say it cause for some unfortunatly its 100% Truth and 0% bullshit
Luv ya blogs
Hi Craig,
Your no bulls#$ approach is what I love about your blogs. Particuarly in todays society where we currently are not responsible for anything we do; its always someone elses fault!! What we do need is much more of your approach – I’m thinking like the Blues Brothers approach with a loadspeaker on the top of car and cruising the streets with ‘the message’ !! LOL. Take it to the streets!
you’ve lost the plot!
2 typos in that one…never found any before.
Cheers
Hey Craig !!
{{{{{{{{ group hug }}}}}}}}
and one just for you {{HUG}}
Tina
Out of hospital for the night so am catching up on what you’ve written…
It all makes sense. And how you express yourself adds to the meaning for me.
Hope the book is going well, looking forward to reading it.
I am a little lost.
I enjoy being lost.
I become curious about being lost, being a loser, experiencing loss.
What made me ever think I had something in the first place?
I must say I have read some profound ‘shit’ here, I stumbled across your site yesterday, I have had some ‘shit yeah!’ moments, or ‘oh shit!’ but I have to say there is lot’s of good shit! So good I posted the “12 Steps to get shit done” on my Facebook page – this is attracting lots of response from past students (I am a high school science teacher).
first time ive noticed spelling errors….tired? stressed? annoyed?
Craig, I think your fabulous. You say it, as it is. No bullshit. Great work.
Maria
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