The Social Sheep

Growing up in Australia means growing up with sheep.

Well, kind of.

Not that we have them sleeping in our lounge room or running around our front yard or anything, but Australia, amongst other things, is a farming nation and at some stage, most Aussie kids (although less these days) have spent time at their uncle’s farm (it’s always an uncle) rounding up the sheep or cows on their school holidays.

Or they grew up on a farm themselves.

Now, I’m no sheep-ologist (my site, my words), but what I did learn about our woolly friends on my childhood expeditions to my uncle’s farm is that they are… kinda stupid (sheep not uncles).

Okay, some uncles too.

No, I’m not trying to offend my animal-loving friends and no, I don’t eat lamb but I gotta tell ya, Flipper and Lassie are in no immediate danger of having their title taken as the smartest creatures in the animal kingdom.

They (sheep) wander aimlessly and all tend to follow each other but (it seems) nobody really knows who’s in charge. To the casual observer, it doesn’t seem that there’s a whole lotta independent thinking goin‘ on inside the head of yer average sheep.

Dogs are neuro-surgeons compared to sheep.

And while it’s clear that a dolphin will win a Nobel Peace Prize one day, yer average sheep has about two thoughts a year… and that’s usually something like:

“Hey Harry, are you done eating that patch of grass?”

Sure, they’re cute, they’re woolly and they make great Ugg boots (I know I’m gonna get in trouble for that… but it’s so worth it) but there ain’t gonna be a sheep graduating from Harvard Law School any time soon.

Unfortunately for us, it seems that our woolly friends have a human counterpart.
For the purposes of this discussion, I’m gonna call him (and her) the social sheep.

You can find them in social settings, in the corporate world, in sporting clubs, in politics, in churches, synagogues… in fact, not unlike the energy vampires we spoke about recently, the social sheep has successfully infiltrated every corner of society.

And while they’re not an immediate threat to humanity as we know it, they are incredibly annoying.

So for the sake or your sanity and mine, here’s my guide on:

How to detect a social sheep:

(1) They often have that same dumb sheep look about them; the lights-are-on-but-nobody’s-home look (not to be confused with Big Brother contestants – who always have that look).

(2) They tend to do what everyone else is doing.
They don’t really know why, but they are compelled by some uncontrollable, intrinsic need to conform (they love doing the Mexican wave at sporting events; makes them feel part of the group).

(3) They take on the opinions of others as their own.
They seem to be incapable of having an independent thought or a contrary opinion.
They constantly agree with everything said and nod their head a lot.
The hard-core social sheep laughs uncontrollably at jokes they don’t understand in order be accepted.

(4) Some of the more evolved social sheep do have independent thought and opinion… but won’t share them for fear of being cut from the herd.

(5) Can’t cope with criticism.
The social sheep crumbles when criticised and needs to be constantly patted on the head.

(6) A social sheep is an imitator not an innovator.
“Hmm, what are they doing… I’ll do that.”
(plenty of these in the fitness industry).

(7) An underlying sadness.
While many social sheep are nice people with noble intentions (to keep the peace, make others happy, to not rock the boat), invariably they end up making themselves unhappy.

(8) The chronic people pleaser.
A text-book social sheep will express a different opinion or point of view (on a certain subject) to different people within five minutes if it means being accepted (or approved of) by two different groups of peers in the same social setting (I have personally seen this many times).
He or she will say what they believe people want to hear.

(9) Denial.
A social sheep will deny or hide his or her own beliefs in order to be accepted.

(10) Splinters.
A social sheep will usually have large splinters in their butt from sitting on the fence.

So next time you’re chatting with a social sheep, pull him down from his fence, don’t pat him on the head… and do tell him it’s okay if he thinks for himself.

Then tell him you’ll like him despite his stupid, embarrassing, socially-unacceptable opinions!

Do you know any social sheep?

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