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	<title>Comments on: How People Assess Us</title>
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	<link>http://www.craigharper.com.au/communication/how-people-assess-us/</link>
	<description>Personal Development Life Lessons</description>
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		<title>By: Twitted by loftcharter</title>
		<link>http://www.craigharper.com.au/communication/how-people-assess-us/comment-page-1/#comment-17944</link>
		<dc:creator>Twitted by loftcharter</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Dec 2009 05:34:34 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description>[...] This post was Twitted by loftcharter [...]</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[...] This post was Twitted by loftcharter [...]</p>
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		<title>By: Anonymous</title>
		<link>http://www.craigharper.com.au/communication/how-people-assess-us/comment-page-1/#comment-17825</link>
		<dc:creator>Anonymous</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 08 Dec 2009 05:22:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=3689#comment-17825</guid>
		<description>dark angel mx5 figure athlete fan club face book:)

thanks so much craig i been thinking bout this and has made me try to spring clean alot about myself and also life :) you say it how it is much better than i-thank you for making me know i am going on the right trak :) (Ps you did help me through my vic fit training course at harpers!:)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>dark angel mx5 figure athlete fan club face book:)</p>
<p>thanks so much craig i been thinking bout this and has made me try to spring clean alot about myself and also life <img src='http://www.craigharper.com.au/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' />  you say it how it is much better than i-thank you for making me know i am going on the right trak <img src='http://www.craigharper.com.au/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' />  (Ps you did help me through my vic fit training course at harpers!:)</p>
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		<title>By: Kate</title>
		<link>http://www.craigharper.com.au/communication/how-people-assess-us/comment-page-1/#comment-17778</link>
		<dc:creator>Kate</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Dec 2009 08:34:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=3689#comment-17778</guid>
		<description>Hi Chris, 

Army shorts and a singlet?  liberting more like  a train crash (female one of course)!I think it is great you always may the effort to look well groomed and you said it &#039;it is effort&#039; whether you are hot or not everyone can be well groomed it comes down to whether you are lazy or not.

Personally I admire both women and men that put in the effort, take the time to the best of their ability and resources (resources = time and money) to be well groomed and &#039;express&#039; themselves in clothing,  etc.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hi Chris, </p>
<p>Army shorts and a singlet?  liberting more like  a train crash (female one of course)!I think it is great you always may the effort to look well groomed and you said it &#8216;it is effort&#8217; whether you are hot or not everyone can be well groomed it comes down to whether you are lazy or not.</p>
<p>Personally I admire both women and men that put in the effort, take the time to the best of their ability and resources (resources = time and money) to be well groomed and &#8216;express&#8217; themselves in clothing,  etc.</p>
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		<title>By: Christina</title>
		<link>http://www.craigharper.com.au/communication/how-people-assess-us/comment-page-1/#comment-17777</link>
		<dc:creator>Christina</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Dec 2009 07:37:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=3689#comment-17777</guid>
		<description>Hmmm, this one touched a nerve.

The impression that my external self gives is something I have really had to consciously work on over the years. Friends have told me (after a few years and a bottle of chardonnay) that they had completely misjudged me from the first impression I gave – my problem, not theirs, they were just being honest.

Unfortunately, I have the kind of face that unless I’m actively smiling, I look cranky or miserable – I could be thinking about daisies or chocolate but I look like I’m plotting someone’s assassination.

I can also be quite shy when coping with intimidating social situations and, of course, this can come across as snobbishness or aloofness. 

My efforts to always look well groomed can be interpreted as vanity but the opposite is true – my insecurities about my appearance would never allow me to walk down the street wearing army shorts and a singlet. I would actually love to do that. It would be quite liberating. Maybe one day …

You make some good points, Craig. Thank you.

Christina xxx</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hmmm, this one touched a nerve.</p>
<p>The impression that my external self gives is something I have really had to consciously work on over the years. Friends have told me (after a few years and a bottle of chardonnay) that they had completely misjudged me from the first impression I gave – my problem, not theirs, they were just being honest.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, I have the kind of face that unless I’m actively smiling, I look cranky or miserable – I could be thinking about daisies or chocolate but I look like I’m plotting someone’s assassination.</p>
<p>I can also be quite shy when coping with intimidating social situations and, of course, this can come across as snobbishness or aloofness. </p>
<p>My efforts to always look well groomed can be interpreted as vanity but the opposite is true – my insecurities about my appearance would never allow me to walk down the street wearing army shorts and a singlet. I would actually love to do that. It would be quite liberating. Maybe one day …</p>
<p>You make some good points, Craig. Thank you.</p>
<p>Christina xxx</p>
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		<title>By: Wendy</title>
		<link>http://www.craigharper.com.au/communication/how-people-assess-us/comment-page-1/#comment-17776</link>
		<dc:creator>Wendy</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Dec 2009 06:29:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=3689#comment-17776</guid>
		<description>Thanks Craig, enjoyed the message. I&#039;ve quite often wondered about what people think of me and how I come across. Being in the hospitality industry I&#039;m always meeting new people and sometimes wish I could just read people&#039;s minds for a day. I&#039;m told that is me seeking approval, although I&#039;ve always thought I was just mildly curious. Anyway have been doing a lot of reading this year, mainly self affirmation type books, and I cant recall the author, but I like the quote &quot;What other people think of you is none of your business&quot;.  I certainly concur with your observations today, as I have been trying to get it through to my 14 year old son with spacers in his ears and a lip piercing the message he is sending out.  (to no avail at this point in time - what would his &quot;old&quot; mother know, right?)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thanks Craig, enjoyed the message. I&#8217;ve quite often wondered about what people think of me and how I come across. Being in the hospitality industry I&#8217;m always meeting new people and sometimes wish I could just read people&#8217;s minds for a day. I&#8217;m told that is me seeking approval, although I&#8217;ve always thought I was just mildly curious. Anyway have been doing a lot of reading this year, mainly self affirmation type books, and I cant recall the author, but I like the quote &#8220;What other people think of you is none of your business&#8221;.  I certainly concur with your observations today, as I have been trying to get it through to my 14 year old son with spacers in his ears and a lip piercing the message he is sending out.  (to no avail at this point in time &#8211; what would his &#8220;old&#8221; mother know, right?)</p>
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		<title>By: gail</title>
		<link>http://www.craigharper.com.au/communication/how-people-assess-us/comment-page-1/#comment-17775</link>
		<dc:creator>gail</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Dec 2009 05:59:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=3689#comment-17775</guid>
		<description>Ah so craig what your telling me is dont get my knickers in a knot.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ah so craig what your telling me is dont get my knickers in a knot.</p>
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		<title>By: Craig</title>
		<link>http://www.craigharper.com.au/communication/how-people-assess-us/comment-page-1/#comment-17773</link>
		<dc:creator>Craig</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Dec 2009 04:33:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=3689#comment-17773</guid>
		<description>Hi Guys - thanks for sharing your thoughts and stories.

Gail - the following is from the post: 

&quot;The point of this insight is not to become paranoid about, or obsessed with, how we’re perceived by others but rather to become more aware and more conscious of the messages we’re putting out. Both positive and negative. Why does it matter? I hear you asking. Because you and I don’t live in a vacuum - that’s why. One of the challenges of the human experience is to co-exist, interact, connect and live in productive harmony with those in our world. Being oblivious to the messages we send makes that reality virtually impossible.&quot;     :)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hi Guys &#8211; thanks for sharing your thoughts and stories.</p>
<p>Gail &#8211; the following is from the post: </p>
<p>&#8220;The point of this insight is not to become paranoid about, or obsessed with, how we’re perceived by others but rather to become more aware and more conscious of the messages we’re putting out. Both positive and negative. Why does it matter? I hear you asking. Because you and I don’t live in a vacuum &#8211; that’s why. One of the challenges of the human experience is to co-exist, interact, connect and live in productive harmony with those in our world. Being oblivious to the messages we send makes that reality virtually impossible.&#8221;     <img src='http://www.craigharper.com.au/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<title>By: rooster</title>
		<link>http://www.craigharper.com.au/communication/how-people-assess-us/comment-page-1/#comment-17770</link>
		<dc:creator>rooster</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Dec 2009 01:11:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=3689#comment-17770</guid>
		<description>I present well and with confidence. I strut when i need to and have &quot;learned&quot; to be positive and affable and achieve the results that is &quot;expected&quot; of me. Today I am resigning from a company that has in my eyes valued &quot;peoples&quot; worth and &quot;abilities&quot;.... so I thought. I am a great critical observer of our &quot;cultured&quot; society. I constantly get disappointed with some human beings in high positions and the &quot;clubs&quot; that they form, &quot; dress to impress&quot; isn&#039;t always the answer. Be true to yourself and have the internal fortitude to believe in the principles of what you are worth. Be you and our culture might &quot;mature&quot; appropriately. I&#039;m happy now !</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I present well and with confidence. I strut when i need to and have &#8220;learned&#8221; to be positive and affable and achieve the results that is &#8220;expected&#8221; of me. Today I am resigning from a company that has in my eyes valued &#8220;peoples&#8221; worth and &#8220;abilities&#8221;&#8230;. so I thought. I am a great critical observer of our &#8220;cultured&#8221; society. I constantly get disappointed with some human beings in high positions and the &#8220;clubs&#8221; that they form, &#8221; dress to impress&#8221; isn&#8217;t always the answer. Be true to yourself and have the internal fortitude to believe in the principles of what you are worth. Be you and our culture might &#8220;mature&#8221; appropriately. I&#8217;m happy now !</p>
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		<title>By: Michael</title>
		<link>http://www.craigharper.com.au/communication/how-people-assess-us/comment-page-1/#comment-17769</link>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Dec 2009 00:46:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.craigharper.com.au/?p=3689#comment-17769</guid>
		<description>agree totally with you suman, but the problem is I don&#039;t believe in first impressions count or they are the only ones. They are important but how many times do we change our mind about someone or something as we change? Example has to be Brisbane. I know people in the 80&#039;s from interstate, mainly the two big capitals, who said they wouild rather slit their wrists then live here. Guess what. They live in Brisbane now. So my point is not about Brisbane as such, just more we change our minds. Maybe if we went to Donald Trump dressed in army shorts we would never get the executive job, but we might get one elsewhere. I just cannot accept that I meet someone or go somewhere and it is set in stone what I think about them forever. I agree in the importance depending on the context, but also in letting go if that other person judges you purely on the colour of your tie, your army shorts, where you live or what you do. You just need to move to another person who will help you get your goal, if the person judges you, well bye.

Another example, hated a film I saw first impresson was hate, but watched it again and enjoyed it. 

Another example, I hated someone (yes I know it is a &#039;bad&#039; word) but when I found out what happened to him in life I changed my mind about him.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>agree totally with you suman, but the problem is I don&#8217;t believe in first impressions count or they are the only ones. They are important but how many times do we change our mind about someone or something as we change? Example has to be Brisbane. I know people in the 80&#8217;s from interstate, mainly the two big capitals, who said they wouild rather slit their wrists then live here. Guess what. They live in Brisbane now. So my point is not about Brisbane as such, just more we change our minds. Maybe if we went to Donald Trump dressed in army shorts we would never get the executive job, but we might get one elsewhere. I just cannot accept that I meet someone or go somewhere and it is set in stone what I think about them forever. I agree in the importance depending on the context, but also in letting go if that other person judges you purely on the colour of your tie, your army shorts, where you live or what you do. You just need to move to another person who will help you get your goal, if the person judges you, well bye.</p>
<p>Another example, hated a film I saw first impresson was hate, but watched it again and enjoyed it. </p>
<p>Another example, I hated someone (yes I know it is a &#8216;bad&#8217; word) but when I found out what happened to him in life I changed my mind about him.</p>
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		<title>By: Twitted by danschawbel</title>
		<link>http://www.craigharper.com.au/communication/how-people-assess-us/comment-page-1/#comment-17765</link>
		<dc:creator>Twitted by danschawbel</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 06 Dec 2009 15:59:15 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description>[...] This post was Twitted by danschawbel [...]</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[...] This post was Twitted by danschawbel [...]</p>
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