Getting the Job Done

If you’re like the majority of us, then over the course of your lifetime you’ve started a crap-load of things that you’ve never finished. Or maintained. As I’ve said many times before on this site, most of us are world-champion starters and world-worst completers. At times, anyway. Words, intentions and plans don’t create lasting change; consistent action does and the truth is that many of us simply don’t finish what we start.

An accountability system is something which keeps you and me doing the stuff we need to do, to create the results we want to create (in our world), even when we can’t really be bothered (doing the aforementioned stuff). If I’m getting too technical at any stage, let me know and I’ll back it off a little.

Dear Diary

Your accountability system could come in the form of a diary. It might be some kind of weekly assessment. It could be regular appointments with a trainer, doctor, dietician, teacher, coach, mentor or a designated person that you call your accountability partner. It could be a written report which is submitted on a regular basis.  It might be a daily phone call. It could be an AA meeting. Or a to-do list. It might be a public declaration. Maybe it’s an online journal or blog (scan the net and you’ll find five gazillion personal weight-loss blogs). An accountability system is anything which keeps you moving in the right direction.

Beyond Motivation

These systems help keep us grounded, committed, proactive and focused even when the feeling of motivation (the temporary emotional state) ain’t there. They help us make the change process less emotional and more strategic, logical and practical. Which is important. They also help make it a more rewarding and productive experience.

Of course, going through peaks and troughs of motivation is a typical part of the human experience but when our goal is to create atypical (exceptional) results in our world then it’s crucial that we find a way to stay on track through the motivational troughs. Accountability is indeed a crucial part of the change process and generally speaking, no accountability equals no results.

So the relevant question for this discussion is:

“What will keep you ‘doing’ when you lose motivation, when you’re fearful or when you can’t be bothered?”

If you don’t have an intelligent answer to that question, you better get one, lest you find yourself living in Groundhog Day.

The Idea and the Reality

For many people, their nice, warm, comfortable ‘idea’ of transformation, is brought undone by the practical, messy, uncomfortable reality of it. Sometimes we make success virtually impossible because we want two things which generally don’t reside at the same address: (1) we want to create lasting change and (2) we want to be comfortable.

See the problem?

Change is mostly uncomfortable. Which is why one of the key determinants of success will be your willingness to keep getting uncomfortable. Whatever is more important to you (being comfortable or creating real change) will win out. If you have an over-riding need to be comfortable then (1) do something about it or (2) lower your standards and expectations. Wrap a willingness to get uncomfortable around a good accountability system and you greatly increase your chances of creating massive and lasting change in your word.

Have fun.

* I’ll announce the winner of last week’s competition, tomorrow.

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The Writing Process

Sometimes I sit at my computer to write an article and the experience is a very logical, cerebral and practical one. To be honest, I think it’s more of a conscious process than it is a creative experience. I carefully consider what I want to convey to my readers. I think about the key messages, the communication style, some possible examples and analogies and whether or not I should share from a personal story to add a level of depth and insight to the reading experience.

It’s fair to say that this style of writing doesn’t really come from a place of inspiration (which is okay). It’s typically educational, instructional and informative but rarely inspirational. If it does manage to inspire or excite anyone, the response is typically more about the reader than it is the article. And while I (nearly) always enjoy writing, it’s fair to say that producing these types of articles – as necessary as they may be – doesn’t really excite me (greatly) or provide me with a huge sense of achievement or satisfaction at this point in my journey.

It’s kind of like work.

Perhaps my days of writing “how to create a perfect arse in four weeks” (type) articles are numbered. Oh well, there’s always the archives to sift through.

Turning on The Inspiration Tap

Then there are times when I have no (immediate) plan to write anything but something happens and I have to stop what I’m doing and literally run to my computer. Sometimes, I feel like I’m sprinting with a glass full of milk trying desperately not to lose any of my milk (inspiration) as I run. Have you ever had an amazing idea or revelation and then lost it two minutes later? How frustrating is that?

Sometimes I’m inspired and stimulated in the most inconvenient and impractical places and situations. I often find myself recording ideas and thoughts into the voice recorder on my phone while I’m driving because something or someone has pushed a button or opened a door (metaphorically speaking).

Many times in cafes and restaurants, I have downloaded ideas, feelings and thoughts onto a serviette or piece of scrap paper because the situation, conversation or experience turned on some kind of uncontrollable creative tap inside me. And that’s exactly what it’s like when I’m inspired: uncontrollable. It’s like the words flow despite me not because of me. I find that when I’m in that place, writing (or speaking, for that matter) is effortless and joyful.

And who wouldn’t want that?

Flow

When my cerebral self (some might say egoic self) makes way for my creative and inspired self, anything can happen. And it does. It’s when I’m in flow. Doing what I’m built for. Happy.

While I need and value the logical, rational, strategic, grown-up (version of) me – to make sure I don’t do anything too stupid or reckless – the ‘me’ I really like is the free-style, who-gives-a-shit-what-people-think, ten year-old that lurks within. I like him because he doesn’t write for approval, permission, respect or status. He simply opens the floodgates and stands back. There’s no filter. No censor. No strategy and no agenda. When it comes to creativity, inspiration and connection, sometimes the best plan is no plan. Sometimes, logical ‘me’ simply needs to get out of the way.

“Brilliance is rarely found in logic.”

A Story

A few years back, I had to open a convention with a ninety-minute presentation to about a thousand people. Just before this particular gig, Johnnie (who manages all my stuff) had been contacted by a well-known speaking agent who told us that she was interested in using me as a speaker at some upcoming conferences. She also informed Johnnie that she would be in the audience (of my upcoming gig) to evaluate me as a potential speaker for her stable.

On hearing this news, I decided to ‘razzle-dazzle’ my presentation a little. To make it a tad more polished, structured and, I hate to say it; electronic. Good grief. What was I thinking? I guess my thinking was that if I could wrap my speaking and entertaining skills around some slides, photos and maybe even a video clip, I’d blow Mrs Speaking Agent out of her chair.

What a f***ing stupid idea.

My Clever Plan

So, with my clever new plan to impress, I discarded my much-loved white-board and markers (the only tools I use when I present) and took to the stage with an electronic (slide-changing) clicker in hand; the clicker that was about to take the audience and I on an electronic journey of personal growth and wonder (via my snappy new audio-visual presentation).

Again, stupid idea.

Fifteen minutes into my presentation, I realised that I had totally forgotten about the clicker in my hand. What slides? What power-point presentation? What plan? What… a dickhead. I panicked. I went from being ‘in flow’ and speaking from the heart, to clumsily trying to figure out what number slide I was up to. Like a deer in the headlights, I awkwardly clicked my way back and forward through random slides and felt my anxiety level rising. In the space of a few minutes, I had managed to move from connection (with my audience) to total disconnection.

Quite the achievement.

By switching from my instinctive, creative and freestyle mode (whiteboard boy) to cerebral, logical, let’s-impress-the-speaking-agent (ego) mode, the overall experience (for the audience and me) had gone from inspired to uninspired. The message from my heart was now coming from my over-thinking brain and I was totally losing the group. I was distracted and fighting for survival.

Back to Free-style

In a rare moment of clarity, I stopped all the electronic mayhem and clumsiness and walked to the edge of the stage. I put my presentation on hold for a moment and spoke to the group. “Is it okay with you guys, if I ditch the slide show? I don’t really know what I’m doing with this gizmo and to be honest, I find the slides kind of distracting and annoying.”

Fortunately for me, they laughed and graciously gave me permission to revert to my free-styling ways. Between us, we managed to save the sinking ship, nobody died and we all learned something. Not long after I finished the presentation, I spied ‘Mrs Speaking Agent’ making her way towards me. I had totally forgotten about her. “Oh well, I blew it” I thought to myself.

Surprisingly, her feedback was that she loved my story-telling and my humour but (not surprisingly) suggested that I never, ever use a PowerPoint presentation again.

Yes Ma’am.

And yes, she gave me some work.

Where I’m Happiest

While my life requires a level of practicality, planning, accountability and structure (like any life), it’s usually when I escape my mind, connect with my inner intelligence and operate from a place of inspiration, instinct and child-like enthusiasm that I feel most connected, authentic, empowered and happy.

Today, I’m encouraging you to find your inspiration.

So, when are you most inspired? What turns on your ‘tap’? Do you want to live a more inspired life? As always, love to hear your thoughts, suggestions and ideas this topic. Even you long-time Lurkers.

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Hi Guys, CJ here. Long time no chat. I’ve missed ya’ll a little. Hope you’ve been good, if not, good at it.

Smashing Through the Glass Ceiling

Whilst it would barely rate a mention in the international media, the big news in this neck of the woods recently has been the appointment of Australia’s first female Prime Minister. Yep, our very first chick PM. Don’t worry, I’m not going to discuss politics because, frankly, I’d rather endure another round of ‘painless’ hair removal from you-know-where. However, what really interests me about this development is some people’s reaction to it.

I have heard many women (and men) say that it’s great because now our young girls can grow up knowing that it is possible for them to become the leader of this country. What? It has been possible for years. In fact, Australia elected its first female representative to federal parliament in 1921.

Really, nothing has changed except our perception of what’s possible. A (perceived) barrier has been broken. Because when one person reaches an unprecedented level of achievement (in sports, politics, arts, business etc), our idea of ‘normal’ can change forever.

Perhaps this is one reason why it is so important to have positive role models in our lives. Clearly, not all of us can become Prime Minister, Olympic champions or award-winning novelists. However, we can use their stories to motivate and inspire us to achieve our best, to change our self-limiting beliefs and to explore our (mostly-unexplored) potential.

Position Vacant: Role Model

Sometimes our role models can come into our lives unexpectedly. One of my role models is Craig Harper. No, I don’t want his biceps or his fashion sense but there are aspects of Craig’s personality and his approach to life that I aspire to develop in myself. It could take some time

I know this sounds like a suck-job, it’s not. He actually hates it when I praise him publicly. Suck it up Mr Harper.

He would be the first to admit, though, that he is not perfect; he is flawed and human like all of us. We cannot expect one person to encapsulate everything we want to be. We need to still be us (because trying to be someone else cannot make us happy – trust me on that one) but be humble and smart enough to adopt one or two characteristics from the variety of role models available to us.

Our role models could be famous people who have accomplished great things (Dr Catherine Hamlin, Nick Vujicic, Gandhi) or they could be people a little closer to home. We might be inspired by Michelle’s bravery, Rachel’s aura of calm or Loretta’s determination. Sometimes our role models may even be our own children (but don’t hold your breath on that one).

Look, Listen and Learn

When we have a specific goal that we would like to achieve, it can be useful to seek a role model who has a great track record in that area. I have been very fortunate to have found a number of role models who give me guidance and inspiration as I stumble my way through the mildly-terrifying world of stand-up comedy. Comedy is a very much ‘learn-as-you-go’ thing, so receiving advice and feedback from working comedians is the fastest way for me to improve.

Of course, we can’t always speak to our role-models (especially if they’re inconveniently dead  – so selfish of them) but reading autobiographies and biographies can also be helpful. We can discover what obstacles the person overcame: gain an insight into the beliefs and attitudes that helped them persevere and find practical lessons to help us achieve our goals.

Getting to ‘know’ someone before they were famous, successful and ‘amazing’ is what inspires me the most. To know that they endured similar (or often, much more difficult) challenges than me, is what makes me believe that almost anything is possible when I stop allowing my fear and ego to get in the way of my potential (as you-know-who is constantly telling us).

Perhaps, though, the true value of a role model is to inspire, motivate and empower you and me to greatness. Not so much to ‘teach’ specifics or to be an instructor.  I have no interest in cycling but I can still be inspired and uplifted by Lance Armstrong’s achievements. Witnessing success in any field can give us the push we need to try harder in our own. If we let it. We may experience an internal shift; a stretching of the boundaries of what we believe is possible for us. We might see old things in new ways.

A Piece of Cake

Unless they’re people close to us, most of our role models will only come to our attention once they have already become successful. Often it’s only their mum (and, perhaps, their bank manager) who has a full understanding of what they have been through to get to that point.

Because they make it look so easy, we can be forgiven for thinking that it, well, is. Apparently, one of the most common mistakes a novice comedian can make is to watch a successful comedian interacting with the audience and believe that he or she can do the same. By lunch tomorrow. They don’t understand that the comedian is drawing on years of experience and, therefore, has a treasure-trove of jokes and comebacks at his or her disposal. Watching an underprepared newby comedian silently waiting for the adlib fairies to bless him with his next joke is not a pretty sight – and those skinny microphone stands are pretty hard to hide behind. I should know. Damn.

Many people sit in the audience at Craig’s seminars and (because he, too, makes it look so easy) think “I reckon I could do that”. Which is great. And maybe they could. Maybe they would be awesome. But they need to be prepared to put in the work that he has put in, to go through the learning process that he has gone through in order to reach that point. Unsurprisingly, not many people are willing to do that.

Yes, we need role models. Yes, it’s smart and healthy to want to adopt certain attributes of the people whom we admire but we also need to appreciate their whole journey, not just their current (seemingly cushy) situation.

Who Me? Yes, You.

Have you ever considered the possibility that you are probably already a role model for someone? Yes, you. You don’t have to be famous or the ‘best’ in order to inspire those around you. There would be (at least) one thing that you do well that others would like to emulate.

Remember, as the Big Guy says, you don’t have to wait until you have ‘all your shit together’ before you can contribute to the lives of those around you. You don’t even have to be a leader in a formal sense. Sometimes you can be a role model by being collaborative and helpful – by being the best ‘you’ that you can be.

So …

Who are your role models? Why do you admire them? What have you learnt from them?

Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

CJ xox

P.S. Bicep Boy (you know; him-dot-com) told me to tell you that he will announce the winner of this week’s comp (or whatever it is), tomorrow (Friday). Someone’s in for a treat!

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Getting the Wheels Turning

When it comes to creating lasting change in our world, most of us will face two key challenges: (1) getting started and (2) finishing what we start. Kind of obvious really. Today, I want to address the ‘getting started’ component.

As I’ve said many times before, many of us have been ‘about to change’ for (seemingly) ever. Lots of talking, planning and intending but very little getting-the-job-done. While forever results are what we’re after, sometimes we need to break down the big-picture process into bite-size chunks; short-term instalments to create long-term results.

Four-Week Instalments

For many of us, getting our head around the notion of being and doing different for the next two (three, four) decades is a little overwhelming. Okay, a lot overwhelming. So, why not compartmentalise the process into a logical approach that’s less daunting emotionally, psychologically and practically? Why not focus on the next four weeks instead of the next four decades?

Good plan, Stan.

What I like about working towards a long-term goal in four-week blocks is that the time frame is brief enough to stay focused, excited and motivated but long enough to create real change. Measurable results. And when we see those results, we’re re-motivated all over again – just in time for our next four-week instalment (complete with a new plan, new goals, new focus and new energy). 

Once we are clear about our long-term goal(s), we can then identify what we need to do specifically for the next four weeks in order to move closer towards that long-term (desired) reality. By having an ongoing series of short-term plans and commitments (which is part of our big-picture process), we (1) invest our emotional and physical energy in the best place and (2) keep our mind focused on doing the things which will deliver optimal results in the short term while propelling us towards the master plan over the long haul.

It’s a simple concept but an effective one.

So, with all that in mind, today I want to give you an opportunity:

I thought that – as a cyber-group – those of us who need to do more and think less might benefit from a little group project: a twenty-eight day kick start with a little team support. Here’s how it works if you’d like to be involved:

1. Identify (and share with us via the comment link) the one thing (not ten) that you will address (change, fix, do, undo, overcome, confront) over the next twenty-eight days in your world. It might be major or relatively minor. It only matters to you.

2. Tell us specifically and practically how you’re going to get the job done (optional).

3. Tell us why you’re doing it (optional).

4. Although making a public commitment might be mildly terrifying (or not), it can also be empowering and life-changing when we allow it to. Confront your fear, conquer your analysis paralysis, leave your ego behind the door and you might surprise yourself.

5. Every Friday (for the next four weeks) I will ask you to send us (your online support group) an update on your progress. These Friday check-ins will be an important part of your accountability system. You wanted an accountability partner? For the next four-weeks you can have thousands of them! I will be one of them and I will personally encourage as many of you as my time and energy permits.

6. You don’t have to tell us who you are (in great detail) but I think that sharing your first name and home state might be a good idea. For example: Craig, Victoria. Karen, Colorado.

7. As you read other people’s goals and commitments, feel free to encourage them along their way. We all appreciate encouragement (even from strangers) and being generous and selfless is a great way for us to grow also.

Okay, I’m gonna kick things off:

My name is Craig and I live in Victoria. My commitment for the next twenty-eight days is to stretch for thirty minutes daily. Lately, I have neglected my flexibility because I have an attitude problem when it comes to that component of my training. I make excuses. There, I said it. I find time for cardio and weight-training but increasingly I can’t (okay, don’t) even find ten minutes to stretch my less-flexible-than-ever body. Pathetic, I know.

I know that, in the grand scheme of things, this goal is no major deal but it’s something which needs to be addressed for me as my lack of flexibility is resulting in an increasing number of muscular injuries and issues. Like you, I will report in every Friday with an update on my progress and I will be completely open and honest.

For those of you who have never commented on this site or made any kind of public commitment like this, I’m encouraging you to get uncomfortable and take a chance. What do you have to lose and what might you gain?

I’ll be cheering you on!

Enjoy your weekend and don’t forget about our upcoming MBE Program.

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I often get asked about my (personal) work philosophy – how I approach the professional component of my life. Today, I thought I would share a little of that with you. The following is not so much a lesson as it is a few thoughts, ideas and insights. And, a little of my history.

The Great Scam

When I first started working in the fitness industry (a hundred years ago), I was surprised. Amazed even. Amazed because I never felt like I was working. I kept waiting for the fun-factor and the enjoyment to wear off but it never did. Part of me felt like it was the greatest scam of all time. I was eighteen. I was working in a cool place, surrounded by cool people, doing fun things in a fantastic environment. I was learning about my passion (health, fitness, nutrition). I was developing a broad range of new skills. I could train (myself) any time. I could hang out on the gym floor and talk crap with people. And let’s not forget the significant bonus of working around gorgeous women every day. My buddies who were (at the time) apprentice plumbers, electricians and carpenters (working around stinky men all day), didn’t share my joy. Then, at the end of each ‘working’ week, they gave me money! Ridiculous. Could it be possible that I had ‘peaked’ in my first year of employment? I felt like I had.

An Unhealthy Lesson

Growing up, I would always take notice of the disdain with which most of the oldies in my world viewed work. It was something to be tolerated. Endured. You would simply get it done so you could then enjoy yourself (post-work). I learned early on that work was work, fun was fun and they didn’t happen at the same time or in the same place.

What an unhealthy lesson for a kid to learn.

To acknowledge that there will be times (in our working life) when we need to do some yucky, uncomfortable and not-particularly-fun things to survive financially is one thing (we’ve all been there) but to resign ourselves to the paradigm that work will always be an unpleasant part of our existence (a necessary evil), is another.

Moving to the West

When I turned nineteen, I moved to Western Australia for a year to work, meet people, see new stuff, do new stuff and learn new stuff. And I did all of it. My first day in the west, I got a job in a gym – working nights. At this point in time, I was smack bang in the middle of my how-big-can-I-get-for-no-sensible-reason (bodybuilding) phase.

I never said I was clever.

Getting My Hands Dirty

During the day, I worked on a massive construction site (with 3,000 stinky blokes), first as a trade’s assistant (a shit-kicker helping tradesmen), and then, as a rigger (climbing around on steel beams and scaffolding). Even though it was not a glamorous job (at all), I had fun every day. I loved it. I worked in a ‘gang’ of three with a pipefitter (Rob) and a welder (Benny). Rob was an old married man (about thirty five) who always felt compelled to share with me his numerous theories on relationships and his self-professed wisdom regarding the complexities of the female of the species. I, on the other hand, would amuse him with my obsessive eating and training habits. He often told me that I was “too disciplined for a kid”. He couldn’t understand why I didn’t drink alcohol. To this day, I’m sure one of Rob’s biggest disappointments in life was his failure to get me to drink a beer.

My Yoda

While I enjoyed hanging out with Rob, it was Benny with whom I had a real connection. For a year, he was my Yoda. He was a crusty, fifty-five year-old, chain-smoking Scottish welder who dropped the ‘F’ bomb as often as he took breath. He was (and still is) the most educated uneducated person I’ve ever met. While he left school at thirteen, his instinctive knowledge and natural understanding of virtually everything was off the chart. For a year, I worked alongside him and every day he taught me something new. Some of my ‘education’ with him was incidental and unconscious but much of it was strategic and intentional (on his part). The way he taught me lessons was (often) with complex puzzles. Workouts for my brain. Early in the work day, he would present me with a problem or a challenge (which could involve anything from mathematics and physics to philosophy and ethics). I would then spend most of my day trying to solve my puzzle (in my head while I did my ‘job’). If, by some miracle, I had figured it out by lunch time, I’d be rewarded with another one to solve post-lunch. They were never-ending.

Lessons at Altitude

Many times while we were a hundred feet above the ground working on a scaffold or an RSJ (a huge steel beam), Benny would write (in chalk) a puzzle for me on the steel on which we ‘lived’. His brain-teasers and philosophical conundrums would keep me amused, interested, entertained and thinking forever. While the majority of the guys on the site were tolerating their jobs, Benny, Rob and I were having a ball. By choice.

While we won’t always find ourselves in our dream job (working on a construction site certainly wasn’t my dream job) and we won’t always be in our ideal situation or career, it’s always been my belief that work (like most things in our life) is as hard or easy, enjoyable or painful as we make it. Some people will make any work situation a misery no matter what. It’s what they do. Know anyone like that?    

Work-Life Balance

In year one (two, three, four) of my company’s life, I worked a gazillion hours each week but loved every minute of it. To be honest, it didn’t feel like work. Most of the experts will tell you that working so many hours is bad for one’s health but what if ‘one’ loves what she does? What if we derive great joy, pleasure and fulfillment from what we do? What if it’s not so much a ‘job’ as it is a passion that provides financial rewards?

Then, the rules change.

I’ve always been of the opinion that twenty hours (per week) of a job that I hate will be more harmful to my health (physically, emotionally, psychologically and creatively) over the long term than seventy hours of something which gives me great satisfaction, stimulation, joy and (potential for) growth.

Imagine a life where what you do (your job) and what you love, are one and the same. What about a reality where work and play don’t exist in isolation? Imagine getting out of bed on a work day and actually being excited! 

I’ve had sexy jobs (television, radio, professional speaking) and I’ve had (what most people would call) crap jobs (bouncer, labourer) but, in the middle of it all, I’ve always been committed to finding the good. To learning the lesson and finding (or making) the fun. Yesterday morning I spoke in Brisbane, last night I spoke at a dinner in Melbourne and tonight (Wednesday) I fly to Sydney to speak tomorrow morning. Tomorrow afternoon I fly to Adelaide to facilitate an all-day workshop on Friday.

In the middle of the mayhem, the travel and appointments, I make a conscious effort to appreciate, value and enjoy what I do. And to connect with you, of course.

Making a Change

For some of us, changing our work situation is easier said than done. I agree. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t plan, we can’t make decisions and we can’t set the wheels in motion to create our different (new-and-improved) reality. When I was teaching at university, one of my students was a thirty-something single mother who worked two jobs while studying full time. One day, I asked her what drove her to commit to such a demanding schedule and she told me that fifteen years of waitressing and factory work was enough motivation for anyone. While other people would have spent years complaining about their situation and being the victim, she found a way to shift her reality. Of course, there was a cost and she chose to pay it.

I saw her recently and she is now a phys-ed and science teacher in a private college here in Melbourne. Of course, I’m gonna tell you that she loves it. And she does. It’s her dream job: great pay, great kids, great conditions and, apparently, it doesn’t feel like work!

Do you get paid to do what you love?

As always, love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

* Don’t forget: only 4 weeks until our MBE Program!

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Hi Guys…

Hope you’re well and being the change you want to see in your world. I apologise for being a little scarce recently, my world away from the blogosphere has been somewhat demanding. How dare life get in the way of our flourishing cyber-relationship.

Today’s instalment is not so much a life lesson or motivational rev-up (as such) as it is me thinking out loud about my ‘job’. I thought you might find it interesting as it will give you a little insight into how I think when I’m going about the process of speaking and writing. I’m often asked about my writing style (some might say lack of style) and how it evolved. This post will give you an idea.

The other day I met a bloke (for the first time) who is a regular reader of this site. I was out having a coffee with a friend and the guy recognised me. Or, he may have recognised the me-dot-com shirt. Anyhoozle, he decided to say “hello”. Part of the conversation went something like this:

Hey Craig…

“Hey Craig, cool site (giving me a thumbs-up sign from two tables away).”
“Thanks, I’m glad you like it.”
“I get your emails every day and forward a lot of them on to my friends (he stands and walks over to our table).”

I stand, ask him his name and shake his hand.

“What do you like about the site?”

I know that question sounds like I’m fishing for a compliment but I’m not. I’m genuinely interested to know what people like (and don’t like) about the site so that I can make it a better resource and gain more insight into my readers. That is, who reads and why.

“I like the lack of cheese.”
“What does that mean?”
“I like the fact that you don’t sound like a motivational-guru-type when you write.”
“Oh really, how do they sound?”
“You know: cheesy.”
“Cheesy?”
“Yeah, fake and smarmy. I hate the bullshit, the sales pitches and the cheesy language they use.”
“And how do I talk?”
“Not like that. Like someone who’s normal. A regular bloke. Like me.”
“Thanks.”
“I don’t normally get into the motivation (type) stuff but my missus kept shoving your articles under my nose and eventually you wooed me into your web (laughs). I thought she was into some kind of cult for a while – until I started reading your stuff for myself.” (laughs)
“Well, I’m not officially launching the cult until next year.”
“I’m in.” (more laughs)

We spoke for another minute or so, I measured him for his cult kaftan (and Ugg Boots) and I rejoined my friend.

I’ve heard that message (or similar) many times before. Not the part about me, the other part. The part about what people don’t like about motivational speakers and the field of personal development in general.

The Challenge

One of the biggest challenges in doing what I do is that many (and I mean m-a-n-y) people are not particularly receptive to anything that looks, smells or sounds remotely like personal development or self-help. Especially Aussies. Which can make my job a little challenging from time to time. I’ve spoken in many countries and, in my experience, Australian audiences are (often) the least trusting and the hardest to connect with in a short space of time. So, the question I ask myself often is:

Q. How do I be a successful personal development speaker and writer without actually sounding like one?

Your thoughts?

My greatest challenge in writing for this site, writing books and working as a professional speaker has always been (and continues to be) finding the best way to deliver my information, ideas and lessons in a manner that creates optimal connection, understanding, inspiration and shift (change) without the er… cheese.

It seems many Australians (like the guy in the café) come with an inbuilt cheese alarm. Or, as my mother might say: a bullshit detector.  

The Folded Arm Fraternity

While some audiences are very receptive and open, I have worked with numerous groups where (to start with) the vibe was somewhat less than enthusiastic. To say the least. When you’re confronted with a sea of crossed legs, folded arms and stern-looking faces (before you’ve spoken a single word), you know it’s gonna be an interesting morning. This is often the case when a group of employees have been wheeled into an auditorium to listen to some ‘tool’ (me) that the company has employed to boost team morale, to motivate the masses and to talk about some kind of work-life balance crap. Or something.

Many Aussies are distrusting, skeptical and (often) critical when it comes to anything or anyone that looks like they’re pushing the self-help barrow. Even if they personally know nothing of the book, the program, the speaker or the information.

Here’s a version of a conversation I’ve had many times:

“That self-help stuff is all mumbo-jumbo.”
“Why do you say that?”
“It just is.”
“Oh.”
“And that Tony Robbins bloke is a big dickhead.”
“Really? Have you heard him speak?”
“Wouldn’t waste my money or time.”
“Oh, have you read any of his books?”
“Nope.”
“Well, I’ve heard him speak and read lots of his stuff. He’s pretty smart and has some interesting things to say.”
“Well..I… er…”
“So, what is it that you don’t like about his philosophy?”
“What?”
“You know: his philosophy – the stuff he teaches – what don’t you like about it?”
“Er…”
“So, what is it that you don’t like about him?”
“What?”
“You said he’s a dickhead, why do you say that?”
“Well… take a look at him…”
“So, it’s his appearance you don’t like then?”
“I hate everything about him”
“Like…?”
“His annoying voice…”
“So, you hate the way he looks and sounds but you don’t actually know anything about his program, ideas or philosophy?”

The person in this conversation is more typical than you might think.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m also of the opinion that there are plenty of personal development frauds who shouldn’t be trusted. Sure, we’re all selling something. I sell books, CDs, DVDs and a range of programs but I never coerce, twist arms up backs or “sell” anything. To be honest, I’m often criticised by certain (well-meaning) people in my world because I don’t market myself aggressively enough. Whatever that means. If this website is never anything more than a free resource that in some small way, helps you make your life a better place to be, that’s totally cool with me.

Back on Topic..

The interesting thing is that, quite often, the people who are most in need of a little er… ‘personal growth’ (aren’t we all?) are the ones who are the least receptive, the least open and the most critical. Have you experienced this? And I’m not just talking about being open to personal development (as such), I’m talking about being receptive to anything that might lead to some kind of positive change in their world: theology, philosophy, meditation, counseling, psychotherapy, performance coaching or (even) personal training.

So, for the past four years the development of this site has been a labour of love, learning and listening.

Connecting with Laughs

I realised early on my journey that (many) Aussies respond to humour and a little self-deprecation from the bloke (or chick) up the front. Somewhere along the way we’ve learned that “If he can put himself down and make us laugh then he can’t be that bad and maybe we can trust him.” If I walk onto a stage (in this country) and straight away start with the ‘transformational language’ and the ‘motivator-dude’ speak, most audiences will switch off within minutes.

Instant disconnection.

If, on the other hand, I begin my presentation with an amusing story (which somehow makes me look like an idiot) that simultaneously makes the audience laugh, sparks their interest and opens the door to an interesting discussion, then I have instant engagement.

While humour is only a small component of professional speaking and writing (unless you’re a comic), it certainly has a way of opening doors (emotionally), breaking down barriers (mentally) and creating a tangible shift of energy in a room. It can even change physiology: frowns become smiles, folded arms start to unfold, heads begin to nod and happy hormones are produced.

As long as there’s no cheese involved. Of course.

Thankfully, I’m still on my journey, still learning and still growing as a writer, speaker and teacher. Clearly, I have a way to go.

So, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Do you have a bullshit detector or a cheese alarm? What communication style works best for you? Was there a time when you were resistant to what you actually needed to hear? What do you like and dislike about the field of personal development? How can the ‘motivational-types’ be more effective at what they do? Feel free to be open and honest but don’t use the names or individuals or organisations – we don’t wanna ruffle feathers. Or end up in court.

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Exploring Potential

I’m always amazed at what we humans can do when we have to. I’m also saddened by the fact that so many of us spend years wasting, ignoring and under-estimating our considerable ability and potential.

We’ve all heard stories of people doing (what appears to be) super-human things when they (seemingly) have no option. When our brain, our emotions and our body kick into survival mode, the impossible becomes probable, the terrifying becomes matter-of-fact and the difficult becomes almost effortless. We are extremely capable and adaptable creatures when we need to be. What a pity we wait for the catastrophic to occur before we choose to tap into the brilliance, the power and the possibilities that exist in all of us.

Yep, all.

Getting in Our Own Way

If only we would stop allowing our over-thinking, over-rationalising minds to get in the way of what we can do, be, create and achieve. If only we would choose to find a way rather than an excuse. If only we would stop calling fearful behaviour, logical behaviour. And, if only we would do what works instead of doing what’s comfortable, safe and easy.

The Hero

Just like the woman who’s scared of her own shadow but runs into a burning building to save her child without hesitation. She saves the child and learns a lot about herself in the process. She’s never the same.

The Ex-Smoker

Then there’s the guy who simply can’t stop smoking but gives up cigarettes instantly when he’s diagnosed with lung cancer. No more motivational issues, no more self-control problems and no more excuses. Ever. Of course, he always had the ability to stop smoking but, sadly, for a long time he associated more pain with kicking the habit than he did with the potential consequences of long-term smoking. So he smoked. Until, of course, he was diagnosed with a terminal disease. Then he experienced something of an internal shift. The impossible became necessary. So he simply did what was always possible. He changed his thinking and his behaviour instantly.

The Ex-Fat Guy 

There’s the morbidly obese business executive who’s been about to lose weight for years. According to him, lack of time, a sore ankle and business lunches are the limiting factors in his quest for health. Sure they are, Pinocchio. One day he gets diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and told he’ll die within three years if he doesn’t change his body, his diet and his lifestyle habits immediately. Six months later, he’s lost thirty-five kilos (77lbs), has no diabetic indicators, eats nothing but healthy food and, amazingly, has no time-management problems. The ability to change was always there. His real barrier was his attitude. His psychological issues created some serious physiological consequences. When he took charge of his mind, his body followed.

As it does.

The Paralympian

And finally, there’s the unhappy, unfulfilled, grumpy woman who loses her leg in a car accident and then realises what a great life she had before the accident. In a moment of reflection and clarity, it dawns on her that her thinking was the problem, not her life. She goes on to become a successful coach, motivator, speaker and Paralympian. Her life post-accident is more fulfilling, rewarding, enjoyable and selfless – because she makes it that way.  

Life is not a dress rehearsal folks. Today is not a practice run. It’s the real deal.  

Sure, a catastrophe is one way we can explore our potential but living reactively is so unnecessary and, for the most part, so miserable. Every day we all have the opportunity to over-ride the fear, the complacency, the habitual behaviour, the procrastination and the stinking-thinking. Every day we have the opportunity to do different. To do better.

So, the question de jour is not, ‘How much potential do you have?’ but, rather, ‘When will you stop wasting what you’ve been given?’

Don’t get mad at me, I’m just the messenger.

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The Motivation Equation

When it comes to creating positive change in our world, being motivated is a pretty handy thing to be. Yep, motivation is indeed a valuable resource.

When it’s there.

But like most emotional states, it has a tendency to come and go.

Sans Motivation

So, what happens to our goals, dreams, plans and intentions once that motivation disappears (and it will at some stage)? How do we keep doing the things we should be doing (to reach our goals and stay committed to our plans and intentions) when the excitement, the euphoria and the ‘feeling’ of motivation simply ain’t there?

Is it possible to keep the wheels of progress turning, the results coming and our mind focused even when we’re going through something of a motivational drought? Is it possible to stay on track and to keep doing - even when we don’t ‘feel’ like it?

What is Motivation?

For most of us, the term ‘being motivated’ means being in a particular emotional state. Specifically, a state of heightened arousal, excitement, anticipation and optimism. In fact, we often see the words ‘feel’ and ‘motivated’ in the same sentence. “Hey Craig, I’m in the zone and I feel totally motivated.” And for many of us, being human means that we will spend much of our lives riding an emotional rollercoaster of peaks and troughs. That is, we will typically experience periods of greater and lesser motivation. This is neither good nor bad, weak nor strong – it’s merely a normal part of the human experience. However, the crucial thing – in the middle of all these motivational highs and lows – is how we behave (choose, act, react, cope, communicate) when we simply don’t ‘feel’ inclined to follow through on our initial commitment.

Been there lately?

As I have shared before, gym owners the-world-over know that they can over-sell memberships to their clubs because they understand that, in the majority of cases, once the initial (“I’m in the zone”) motivation disappears, so too will the member (from their club). Fortunately for the club owners, these days most members pay via an automatic direct debit which means that, more often than not, the payments will continue long after the de-motivated member has done his or her last bench press, bike ride or stretch class. Good for business, not so good for Mr and Mrs I’ll get back to the gym next week.

Here’s a question I’ve been exploring for years: Is it inevitable that our behaviour, productivity and quality of results will be affected by (or maybe even determined by) our level of motivation over a given time period? The quick answer is: No (it’s not inevitable), but the expanded answer is – in most situations our motivational peaks and troughs will have some impact on our behaviours and, therefore, our results. Unless we can learn to be the exception.

And by being the exception, I mean being exceptional. That is, doing what most people won’t do (persevere, maintain, continue) in order to create what most won’t (amazing results and lasting change).

I know it all sounds a little cheesy and fluffy but more times than not, success or failure simply comes down to our ability to keep doing what we need to even when we don’t feel like it – which will be often. Sometimes (most times) success has almost nothing to do with talent or potential and everything to do with attitude, focus and perseverance.

Working with many successful people from all walks of life has taught me that – while the majority will find an excuse, a problem and a reason to give up (again) – there is a percentage of people who will consistently see light not dark, opportunities not barriers and solutions not problems. Of course, they are normal (in that they will experience all the normal motivational highs and lows) but unlike the majority, they will find a way to persevere, to stay committed and to get the job done.

The truth is that most of us spend much of our lives cycling through periods of more, less and sometimes, zero motivation. Some of us can go from ‘full-on’ to ‘not-on’ in the space of a day!  Sure, we all have goals, dreams and good intentions but if we’re completely honest, many of us will admit that we’ve thrown in the towel (stopped what we started) more times than we’ve stayed focused, committed and productive over the long term. In fact, many of us have a history of almost doing things. Or, in some cases, actually doing them (yay)… and then undoing them (oops).

A few brides (and grooms) I know spring to mind.

Let’s not get defensive, precious or angry about this. Let’s change. Let’s not over-think it. Let’s just commit to doing different from now. Let’s – right now, in this moment – choose a different reality for ourselves. Let’s be practical, realistic, accountable, honest and courageous.

So, how do we stay doing even when we don’t feel like it?

Naturally there’s no one-approach-fixes-all solution to this very common challenge. However, there are some strategies which certainly increase our chances of moving from the majority to the minority.

1. Create an accountability system. An accountability system is something (anything) that will keep you doing over the long term. It could be regular assessments (to evaluate progress) or it might be a performance journal (to track behaviours, results and even emotions).

2. Use a coach (mentor, trainer, accountability partner or workout-buddy). In other words, anyone who will help you stay focused and committed even when you’re being a negative pain in the arse.

3. Harden up Princess. I know, I know… this is just Craig being Macho. Wrong. Some of the toughest, strongest, most resilient and inspirational people I’ve met and worked with have been teeny-weeny (but incredibly powerful) women. Courage has nothing to do with physical size or strength and everything to do with attitude and spirit.

4. Always be mindful of the consequences of not changing. What will your life (body, career, financial situation, relationships) look like in five or ten years if you continue to procrastinate, delay and avoid?

5. Work hard to create life-transforming habits. When something is a habit, motivation is irrelevant.

Guys, I will be taking a little break from blogging for the rest of this week as I am on a dead-line for a book I’m working on. I’ll be back on deck next week to share the love. Keep in mind that there are almost a thousand articles in my library if you find yourself in need of a little motivation during the week. Also… off the back of our ‘Your Turn to Teach’ post last week, I have a few gifts for the following people: Jess @ THIR, Shann, Carey, Ian and Annette. If you guys can email Johnnie your postal details he’ll send you a little something for being ace. Don’t miss me too much…

Group Hug… x

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Hi Guys. So yesterday’s post created a little er… mayhem. It’s hard to fit a bazillion people into one hundred chairs! Who knew? If you haven’t applied for our RYB workshop yet, you have missed the boat. Sorry, no places left. Enjoy your Tuesday and I’ll be back late(ish) tonight with a fresh post to stimulate, captivate, motivate and  educate. In the mean time, do something amazing just because. Here’s my power saying for this week:

“The only drug I need is my mind.” 

It’s a me original – feel free to use it!

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Hi Team. Guess what? Can’t tell you. But I can (and will) on Monday. I have some big(ish) news to share with you. I’m a smidge excited. It involves a hundred of you getting something (awesome) for nothing. I wanna tell you but apparently I can’t make an announcement on a Friday. Apparently. Pfft. Some kinda lame-arse ‘Johnnie rule’. Johnnie Schmonnie. No wonder I’m his only friend.

Who Motivates the Motivator? 

That’s a good question isn’t it? In fact, it’s probably one of the questions I am most often asked. Along with….

(1) Why aren’t you married?
(2) How can I get a smaller arse? 
(3) Can I have a job?
(4) How can I get a smaller arse? 
(5) Do you own any other pants?
(6) How can I get a smaller arse? 
(7) How can I become a highly-paid speaker in three months?
(8) How can I get a smaller arse?

All good questions.

We’re All Motivators

When you think about it, we’re all motivators at some stage of our journey. If you’re a manager, parent, teacher, trainer, business-owner, coach or even a (garden variety) friend, then one of your roles will be to motivate people in your world to do (or perhaps, not do) certain things. As parents, we motivate our kids to live productive, passionate and positive lives. As bosses, we motivate our staff to reach performance targets. As teachers, we motivate our students to learn. As sporting coaches, we motivate our athletes towards winning or, at the very least, improving performance. As friends, we motivate those we care about to make smart decisions and to take care of themselves. And as trainers, we motivate people towards maximising their physical potential and embracing healthy habits and behaviours.

Yep, we’re all motivators.

The Messiah of Motivation

One of the challenges of being a Performance Coach, Motivational Speaker and Personal Development writer (I apologise for the wanky-ness of those terms – I didn’t invent them) is that it’s often assumed (by some) that I’m Captain Fantasmo all day, every day. The Messiah of Motivation. A self-help cyborg – of sorts. Fortunately for me (and you), I’m no cyborg. I experience all the regular emotional peaks and troughs and, to my knowledge, I am mostly human. Although, some might dispute that. Naturally, I have days where I feel more or less inclined to be Captain Super Duper and, natch, there’s the odd occasion when I feel compelled to consume my own bodyweight in cheesecake and/or poke the rude man at the checkout in the eye with a pencil.

There have been many times when I‘ve been minutes away from walking onto a stage to motivate and educate a group (that’s the plan anyway) and, for one reason or another, I haven’t ‘felt’ particularly motivated myself. The unmotivated leading the expectant. So to speak. Nonetheless, I have not allowed a momentary emotional state or feeling to impede what I was there to do or how I did it.

A Challenge

My biggest (recent) challenge was last year when one of my best friends passed away in a tragic accident – along with his two sons. The day of their funeral, I was booked for a speaking gig at one o’clock. The engagement had been in place for nearly a year and I was the only (professional) speaker at the conference. The funeral was at eleven o’clock. I reasoned that the service would be finished by twelve and I would have an hour or so to get to my gig, have a coffee and focus myself.

Good in theory.

At twelve-forty I was still sitting in the church with tears streaming down my face. So much for my plan. I arrived at the speaking venue three minutes late and took a further five minutes to get myself in a better ‘place’ before walking into the building. I apologised to the group, explained where I had been and what I was feeling (I wouldn’t normally do that but it was an exceptional situation and it seemed appropriate at the time). To my surprise, my open-ness and honesty paved the way for a very productive, positive and passionate session with the audience.

If nothing else, going from a friend’s funeral to a corporate presentation certainly provided an unexpected level of perspective and insight. While the session certainly wasn’t a loud, fist-pumping, high-fiving extravaganza (like I ever do those), our time together certainly proved to be a valuable, productive and enjoyable one.

What Leads to Lasting Change?

I guess when some people hear the term ‘motivation’ they visualise something that has a ‘Ra Ra’ element to it. For me, the Ra Ra approach has never been the way to go; either on a professional (my presentations and programs) or personal level. It’s been my observation that (as a rule) the chest-thumping, tear-inducing, emotion-fest rarely leads to life-long transformation. Sure, some people (very few) will have a ‘moment’ and their life (thinking, behaviour, habits, reality) will change forever in one day but for the majority, genuine change is something which happens progressively over time. Often, a long time. For most of us, transformation is not so much an event as it is an ongoing journey. A conscious, methodical and intentional process.

I think a better (more suitable) question for me is not, ‘who’ motivates me but, rather, ‘what’ motivates me. And perhaps a better term than ‘motivates’ would be ‘keeps me focused, grounded and proactive’. In my mind, the term ‘motivation’ typically represents a temporary emotional state. That is, something that (for most of us) comes and goes on a regular basis. “Last week I was in the zone, this week I can’t be bothered.” That’s what ‘motivation’ represents to many people.

So, what keeps me focused, grounded and proactive? Five things:

1. Perspective and Awareness. Compared to the vast majority of people living on the planet, I have almost zero problems and typically experience no (real) hardship. I am always mindful of this. I have nothing to complain about. Nor do I have any desire to complain.

2. Gratitude. My life is fantastic and I am eternally grateful for what I have been given. I am extremely fortunate to be in the position I am: sociologically, physically, financially, emotionally, practically and even, geographically – I happen to live in a great country.

3. Hunger and Curiosity. I am driven to learn, to explore and to develop what I’ve been given. I can’t change how much potential or inherent talent I have but I can totally determine what I do with it. I have a desire to be a positive influence in the lives of others and this website is a part of that.

4. Responsibility. I feel I have a responsibility to serve and to contribute to the greater good. Yep, it sounds fluffy but it’s what I believe. As a model for life, selfishness doesn’t work. Just take a look at our selfish world. I feel I have a responsibility to appreciate, value and use what I’ve been given, what I know and what I can do (with what I’ve been given).

 5. Choice. I also stay focused, grounded and proactive by choice. I choose to be a disciplined, motivated and positive person. I choose to find the good. I choose to celebrate and appreciate. I choose to learn. And I choose to get uncomfortable and go where the lessons are.

Having said all of that, I am (and have been) inspired by many people. Some I’ve known personally, some not. For me, inspiration (unlike motivation) is something that dwells deep within and keeps my fire burning. For me it’s a (more) permanent thing, not a momentary thing. And for me, it’s a heart thing, not a head thing.

But that’s just me.

Some Questions for Your Consideration…

1. Who or what motivates (or inspires) you?
2. Who do you motivate?
3. What does (the term) motivation mean in your world?
4. How do you keep doing what you need to (to achieve your goals) when you lose motivation?
5. Is motivation necessary for success… or just handy (when it’s there)?
6. If motivation isn’t necessary (to succeed), then what is?
7. How do you motivate others (any advice, tips, secrets)?

*Answer as many (or few) questions as you like… or simply share your thoughts on the post

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