Motivational Speaker - Craig Harper » Exploring Potential

Who’s Really Got Their Shit Together?

Craig — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 16:08:01 +0000

Pushing Buttons

Well, it seems that Monday’s post pushed a few emotional buttons. Craig, the button pusher; I may just add that to my business card. So clearly, I’m not flying solo when it comes to the matter of irrational and destructive eating habits. Not only were there many interesting comments and responses to the post itself but I also received more than fifty emails from people who felt some level of connection or identification with my story.

Hello fellow foodies.

Issues Are Us

“Thanks Heaps for this today, I really needed to hear even my Guru has issues.” (Simone K)

For me, the most interesting piece of feedback was that people were either surprised or comforted by the fact that somebody ‘like me’ (not a guru, but thanks Simone) would (1) have such issues or (2) talk about them publicly. Yesterday, a well-meaning person even asked me if I thought that my ‘disclosure’ might hurt my brand, professional credibility or business. They thought it might.

Wow.

Didn’t even cross my mind. Still doesn’t.

Pracademia

I actually think the fact that much of my learning has been experiential and first-hand (as opposed to purely academic) makes what I have to say (about the topic in question) more credible, not less. But that’s just me. Surely, if there’s anything crazier than admitting you have issues it would be to claim you have none? Having a particular qualification, title, reputation or knowledge base doesn’t exclude a person from thinking dumb shit or doing dumb shit. And I should know.

So should you.

I’ve worked with dieticians who have eating disorders. Doctors with drug problems. Marriage counselors who are cheating on their spouses. Trainers who don’t train themselves. And the conversation I’ve had the most over the years (apart from the “how do I get a smaller arse” dialogue), is the “But Craig, I feel like a fake, fraud, weirdo, loser” conversation. “If only people knew what I’m really like”. Welcome to the club. That particular mindset puts you in the majority, not the minority. Ironically, the very things that we believe make us different (our weirdness, our dirty little secrets, our issues), actually make us the same. We’re all works in progress.

ALL of us.

After all, every one of us is dysfunctional on some level. In some area of our lives. It’s not optional. It’s part of the human condition. According to my soon-to-be world famous “who’s really got their shit together?” model of behavioural psychology (© Craig Harper, 2012), there are two distinct groups of people: (1) those who present themselves as without issues and (2) those who are honest.

Just saying.

Until I acknowledge my issues, I can’t deal with them. Until I acknowledge my issues, I’ll continue to experience the same problems, frustrations and road blocks. Same goes for you. The point of admitting, owning up and stepping up is not to beat ourselves up or to self-loathe but rather, to acknowledge ‘what is’ and to begin the change process in a realistic, humble and courageous manner.

You’re weird and you’re okay. Just like me.

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Perspective

Craig — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 16:21:35 +0000

Sometimes, all we need is to look at life through a different window. Here’s a window for you…

Go hard or go home.

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Life in the Clone Zone

Craig — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 00:36:48 +0000

What I Don’t Know

As someone who has written a few books and more than a thousand Personal Development articles for this site, I’m still acutely aware of my ignorance, incompetence and lack of understanding of many things. Most things, in fact. The old saying “the more I learn, the more I realise how little I know” is indeed relevant for me. Having said that, if I was to wait until I felt ‘knowledgeable enough’ (to do my job), I’d never write or speak (professionally) again.

For me, one of the fundamental keys to authentic learning and growth has been humility and vulnerability; two things that often don’t sit well with many of us. Me included. Humility to say “I really don’t know but I want to learn” or “I was wrong”. And vulnerability to put ourselves in situations that will be uncomfortable and risky but potentially transformational.

The Seeker

On websites such as this, it’s feel-good, fluffy and convenient to say things like “I’m a seeker and student” (the mantra of the self-help junkie) but the truth is, genuine growth and transformation is often more about unlearning than it is, learning. Unlearning destructive habits, behaviours and patterns. You know the ones. It’s been my experience that many people are only interested in the process of personal development when they are not required to challenge or question any of their existing beliefs.

Sadly, some people find it far easier to criticise and condemn others (people who don’t align with their world view) than they do to even consider the possibility that, on some level, their perspective might be flawed. Or that there might be another truth. Of course, this kind of negative reaction is understandable when we consider that their paradigm (and all that comes with it) is all they have ever known. Naturally, they are so emotionally and historically invested in certain beliefs that the very idea of them being erroneous is unthinkable. So they don’t.

Think about it, that is.

From a personal development perspective, the hardest thing I’ve had to do over the last decade or two is challenge and re-consider many of my very comfortable, familiar and long-held beliefs. About many things. To question things I had never really questioned. To look at old things in new ways. And to discover my own unique beliefs, truth and understanding away from the pressure, expectation and non-negiotability of others.

Being Programmed

When you grow up in the middle of a certain mindset, culture, religion and philosophy (and it’s the only version of reality you’ve ever known), then consciously or not, intentionally or not, you’ve been programmed. For better or worse. In such situations, the mere thought of considering another paradigm can be both, terrifying and guilt-inducing. Interestingly, it’s often our need to fit in, comply and belong that stunts our growth, our opportunities and our potential. On many levels. Their world-view becomes our world-view. We become them.

And another clone is born.

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January 1, 2012: A Day to Avoid Resolutions?

Craig — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 16:01:47 +0000

The Annual Finish Line

As we stumble (or maybe sprint) towards the finish line of 2011, some of us are already dreaming, scheming and planning for a better life (body, bank balance, relationship, career) once the calendar clicks over at midnight on December 31. Of course, we could start our life-changing process today but that would be ridiculous. Apparently. After all, why start changing habits and behaviours today (December 13,14), when we can procrastinate and pretend for a little while longer?

In theory, January 1 is a new beginning; an opportunity for you and I to re-focus, re-boot and re-commit. In reality, it’s just another day; one of the 30,000 (or so) that most of us will enjoy (experience, endure) in our time down here on Planet Earth. For some strange reason, many of us believe that the first day of the New Year holds some kind of mystical, magical, transformational power.

What a load of crap.

Wishful Thinking

This ridiculous belief is based on nothing more than emotion, wishful thinking and tradition. But, can we begin an amazing transformational journey on January 1? Of course we can. And does the date on the calendar have anything to do with our likelihood of success? No. In fact, statistically speaking, beginning a change process on the first day of any year is a stupid idea.

When we look at results produced over an extended period of time (years), the vast majority of people who make New Year’s resolutions fail miserably. Sure, some will achieve a degree of success but the important question in this discussion is not ‘do they create change’ but rather, ‘do they maintain those changes over the long term?’ Typically, the answer is no.

Losing weight is easy. Keeping it off forever; not so easy.

Some people will eat, drink and celebrate themselves into oblivion (over the Christmas period), somehow believing that their mindset, habits, behaviours and life (in general terms) will undergo some kind of amazing metamorphosis on the first day of the New Year. Really? And how did that work out the last ten times?

Good grief.

Genuine transformation invariably comes down to (some not very cool) things like attitude, courage, commitment, work-ethic, resilience and perseverance.

Not a number on a calendar.

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Intelligence

Craig — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 16:54:56 +0000

The Education Myth

Some people are educated. Some are smart. Some are both. Some educated people are idiots. Some uneducated people are genii. Some seemingly-uneducated people are actually highly-educated; just in a different way. Put the sophisticated city-dweller in a remote jungle and see who the intelligent one is; him or the ‘uneducated’ native. Some people understand the theory of everything but can’t deal with the reality of anything; academically brilliant but practically inept.

Some people can perform complex algorithms in their head but don’t know when someone needs a hug; high IQ, low EQ. Some people have impressive vocabularies but can’t communicate. Others explore quantum physics with ease but can’t poach an egg. Some have a gift for understanding human behaviour even though they’ve never been near a psychology book. And some will play ten instruments despite their inability to read music. Convention tells us that a person’s intelligence can be determined by answering some questions on a standardised test.

Sometimes, convention is stupid.

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Anti-Goals

Craig — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 16:17:41 +0000

Clarity

“Sometimes, it’s a good idea to figure out what you don’t want and work back from there.”

Clarity is often a hard thing to find. We know we want a great life but what, exactly, does that mean? We know we want to be successful but we don’t always know what that success might look like. Specifically. Of course, we all want an awesome career; we’re just not sure what that awesome career might be. And we know we want to live our purpose but sometimes we’re not really sure what it is. Or where it is.

In the pursuit of success (whatever that means to us as individuals), being driven is not enough. Neither is being hopeful. A motivated and hopeful person without clarity of purpose and direction will be a frustrated and de-motivated person soon enough. It’s hard to get excited about something that we can’t define. Impossible, perhaps.

Excitement

When we get clear about what we want, we tend to get excited. And when we get excited, we create mental, emotional, creative and physical momentum. And when we ride that wave of momentum, we begin to think, do and create in new and powerful ways. With positive transformation often being the result.

So, that’s all good in theory (I hear you say), but where do we start with the ‘finding clarity’ process?

Ironically, sometimes the place we’re most likely to find clarity is the last place we might think to look. Specifically, identifying the things we don’t want in (and for) our lives; our Anti-Goals. It’s true; sometimes figuring out what we don’t want helps us lift the cerebral and creative fog to discover what we do want.

So, What Don’t You Want?

Here’s a version of a conversation I’ve had many times:

“I want a fulfilling career but I’m totally confused about what I want to do.”
“Okay, let’s identify what you don’t want (in a career) and that might get us a little closer to an answer.”
“Okay.”
“Do you want to work in an office environment?”
“No.”
“Do you want a sedentary job?”
“No.”
“Well, those two answers eliminate about a million careers!”
“Do you want a nine-to-five type work arrangement?”
“No, I’d like something more flexible.”
“Would you prefer to work indoors or outdoors?”
“Hmm, out.”
“Would you like to interact with people all day?”
“Not so much; I’d prefer animals.”

And so the process goes until we narrow the focus down a few possible careers. It usually takes less time than you might expect and leaves the person feeling significantly more positive, motivated and excited. Clear, even. Of course, we can apply the same technique to almost any aspect of our lives: relationships, financial situation, lifestyle, health, business development, philanthropy… and so on.

So, maybe the smart question for today is:

“What don’t I want?”

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Reprogramming Your Body

Craig — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 16:56:56 +0000

A Living Computer

Did you know that your body is a living, breathing organic computer that can easily be reprogrammed to operate differently? More efficiently and effectively? To do different things and produce different results? To run new programs? For some of us, it’s time to reboot.

Sugar Addiction

I remember when I switched from two sugars in my coffee, to one. Have you been there? For me, it was a very long time ago but I still recall it clearly. My coffee tasted like crap. I hated it. Not sweet enough. For a week or so. Then somehow, it tasted ok. A week after that, it tasted great. Sweet, even. A few months later, I dropped sugar altogether and my early-morning beverage was almost undrinkable. I hated it. Again. Sugarless coffee tasted bitter. Harsh, even. I persevered. A week later it was tolerable. Two weeks into the process, better still. Three weeks in, my body had totally reprogrammed itself to enjoy sugarless coffee. I had transitioned from about seventy teaspoons of sugar per week (good grief), to zero. If you listen carefully, you can still hear my pancreas and teeth applauding.

Mick

For the last eight weeks, I’ve been training (three days a week) with a mate; Mick. While Mick has worked out before, this is probably the first time he’s trained and eaten methodically and consistently. In less than two months, heavy weights have become light for him. Difficult cardio sessions have become easy. His slow recovery (between sets) has become fast recovery. His lethargic metabolism is now wide awake. His skin has changed. His eyes are clearer. His energy is through the roof. And his body functions more efficiently now that it has rid itself of twelve unnecessary kilos (26lbs). In order to cope with the new demands, Mick’s body has totally reprogrammed itself. Better program, better results.

A Carb-less Life?

Your body needs carbohydrate to function. To survive. With out any carbohydrate your brain can’t do what it’s meant to and you’ll eventually go blind. Cut all sugar and carbs (and I don’t mean just starchy carbs, I mean all carbs) out of your diet, even for a day, and you’ll start to feel like shite. Medically speaking. Having said that, obviously, there are some situations where people may not have access to carbs for months on end (some people living in Arctic regions, for example) but they still seem to function okay. How come? Thanks for asking. Well, your body (the living, breathing computer that it is) has the ability to reprogram itself in the absence of a required macronutrient like carbohydrate. Via a process called gluconeogenesis, your body will turn non-carb macronutrients (fat, protein) into usable carbohydrate. So, when there’s not a carb in sight, your body will simply adapt and make its own!

Now that is genius.

The Last Bit

Human bodies are incredible machines. They are highly adaptable, self-regulating, self-adjusting living computers that constantly respond to various kinds of stress and stimuli. Both good and bad. When we do different things (like change our diet, exercise habits, lifestyle and behaviours), our body can’t help but adapt. Reprogram itself. That’s the way it works. For most of us, the biggest challenge we have with our body, is our head. Your body will reprogram itself (adapt, change) when it has to.

So, give it a reason.

*I’ll announce the book give-aways (re Wednesday’s post) on Monday.

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Wanting Different, Doing Same

Craig — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 09:41:43 +0000

Free Stuff

So, now we know how to get a bazillion comments on a post; give some shit away. To that end, could the following people send Johnnie an email with your postal details and he will send you a signed copy of my book for being clever: Brenda, Mark, Bob, Lisa, Joy.

Here are my faves from you guys:

“Hey Tom, I’m headed to the bathroom, come with me.” (Brenda) – Hilarious.
“I have no idea where we are. Hold on, I’ll stop and ask for directions.” (Mark) – Not gonna happen.
“Is it all right if I pass wind?” (Bob) – Giddyup.
“Honey you’re right, I don’t know how to fix it, let’s call a professional.” (Lisa)
“I need help.” (Joy) – This is funny, sad and insightful.

Thanks

A big thanks to everyone who got involved with yesterday’s post and gave us blokes an absolute smashing via the comments. Not sure why I’m saying that but we probably deserve it. For something. Anyway, there were some seriously funny contributions so thanks to those of you who joined in the fun. It’s been suggested that a future instalment should be the female version; Fifteen Things You (Probably) Won’t Hear a Chick Say. To be honest, I’m not really sure I’m brave enough to write that article but if you think I should, I will.

Or not.

On with today’s instalment…

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Convention

Craig — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:54:34 +0000

Conventional Us

Conventional wisdom indicates that I’m not very wise. Conventional thinking suggests that my thinking is unconventional. Conventional education would be great if all kids thought the same, learned the same and were the same. Conventional relationships would be really successful if only they didn’t fail so often. Conventional religions teach love and tolerance while (often) demonstrating hatred and intolerance. Sometimes, the conventional approach is the least effective approach.

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Don’t (always) Believe the Science

Craig — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 16:42:08 +0000

Height-Weight Charts

My current weight is 88kgs (195lbs). My current body-fat percentage is ten (low). According to every (scientifically-calculated) height-weight chart I can find, I’m over-weight. And not a little bit, a lot. The recommended weight range for my height is 63-79kgs (139-174lbs). Wow. Science tells me that I need to lose ten kilos (or so) to be at my absolute upper healthy weight limit. Again, wow. According to most formulas, I’m a whisker away from obesity. According to the science, my weight is unhealthy.

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