Archive of Motivational Speaker

Welcome to Craig's site.

Craig Harper is Australia's leading motivational speaker and educator (according to Google Australia). He is a highly sought-after corporate coach and is considered to be a leader and pioneer in the areas of personal and professional development.

Working with hundreds of teams, companies and a wide variety of organisations on numerous continents over the last twenty years has given Craig a unique insight into, and understanding of, human performance and all its variables. Craig has an ability to educate, inspire, challenge and make people laugh all at the same time!

Renovate Your Life Blog

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

An Interview with a Freak. A Nice Freak.

G'day Groovers. You may want to get comfy and get yourself a hot drink because this instalment is rather lengthy. Very interesting... but lengthy. At no extra cost to you. Bonus. If you're in need of some inspiration, today's post is for you.

One Saturday Afternoon at the Radio Station...

A couple of years ago, while doing one of my radio gigs, I interviewed a young mountain climber by the name of Cherie Horne. Hosting a live, five-hour, talk-back sport's radio show is kind of hectic (48 minutes of live chat per hour), so when my producer told me before the show that I was interviewing some hard-core "mountain climber" in the third hour, I didn't really give it too much thought. I can't really be sure now, but I'm guessing that when I pictured a "mountain climber", I probably had an image in my mind of some big hairy bloke in a lumberjack shirt, with crazy eyes and at least a couple of fingers missing.

A Pink Shirt!

So you can imagine my surprise when the time arrived and a teeny-weeny blonde lady in a pretty pink top walked into the studio with no crazy eyes, no hairy shoulders and all of her fingers! I looked at her and thought "she's gonna be blown off the mountain" - which clearly highlighted my ignorance regarding mountain climbing and in particular, Cherie Horne. In that twenty minute interview I learned that Cherie was aiming to be one of the very few women in the world to climb the Seven Summits (the highest mountain on each continent).

I won't bore you with all of the post-interview details, but suffice it to say that since that time, not only has Cherie gone on to become one of Australia's elite mountaineers, but she's also become a great friend and one of my Trainers at the Harperdome (my gym). With a background as an ex elite runner (three times national 3,000 metre champion), she is both interesting and inspirational, so I thought you might all like to 'meet' her...

When and why did you start climbing?

I started climbing mountains in 2005. I read an article in the newspaper about a Victorian Police Team's desire to climb Mount Everest in memory of a former colleague and friend. I was always fascinated by mountains and the sheer vastness and beauty of nature. The attraction was too strong to resist; the challenge and adventure of mountaineering excited me! I wondered if there was any possibility that I could join them, walk to base camp (18,370ft) and experience life as part of a true expedition team. Of course there was and I made it happen!

At that stage I was looking for a new sport following my retirement from running and mountaineering filled that void. The sense of adventure associated with travelling the world to climb mountains was compelling and the physicality of the sport was not only interesting and confronting (due to the physiological effects of altitude), but also extremely rewarding. Not to mention opening a whole new world to me; I had never been overseas before, let-alone to one of the most remote and inhospitable environments in the world - Everest Base Camp. Climbing is also a very spiritual experience for me, the solitude and simplicity is both liberating and life-changing. It's as close to Heaven as you can go... before you leave this world, that is.

Which mountain is next? When is it? Tell us about it?

I'm off to climb Denali in just over four weeks. Denali is the Native American word for North America's highest peak. Interchangeably known as Mt McKinley, this beautiful yet dangerous mountain is located close to the Arctic Circle in the mountain chain called the Alaska Range. Denali is the coldest mountain in the world and as challenging to climb as Mount Everest. Many people consider it to be the most dangerous mountain in the world. Wind chill temperatures can drop to -148 degrees. At 6194 metres (20,320 feet) the difference in the barometric pressure (caused by the troposphere being thinner at the poles) at Northern latitudes affects acclimatization. Most of the world's highest mountains are near the equator, Denali is closer to the North Pole. Its latitude is 63 degrees, 35 degrees further north than Everest. On a typical summit day in May, the Denali climber will physiologically be at the equivalent of a 7000m (23,000 feet) Himalayan peak and facing the most extreme weather conditions on earth.
It is the most underestimated mountain on Earth due to high altitudes, geographical location, extreme arctic weather and active glaciations. During peak climbing season (May-June) temperatures can reach -40 degrees Celsius and storms with winds up to 160km per hour that can last for several days. On the summit these figures become even more severe. Cold and uncomfortable is part of the adventure; someday the sun will come out again! Only half who attempt to climb Denali succeed. The climb from base camp to summit on Denali is the longest continuous stretch of any mountain in the world, greater even than Mt Everest! I will climb Denali between May 5th-May 25th, number five on my seven summits list. This mountain has very special meaning to me due to my father's death from brain cancer last year. I will be climbing this mountain in honour and memory of him. I will be part of the Alaska Mountaineering School (AMS) West Buttress Expedition. Five other climbers (all males from North America) will join me on the climb. Only 8% of all Denali climbers are women, which certainly makes you stand out on the mountain! AMS have never had an Aussie female climb with them which is very exciting for me....and them! You can follow my climb via my website.

What's the attraction for climbing?

The challenge. The sense of personal achievement. Getting out of my comfort zone. Way out. Entering the unknown. Experiencing nature, its beauty and harshness. The view from the top of the world......the list goes on! Physically, psychologically and spiritually, I will be tested in a way that's not possible at sea level. There is no more humbling experience on earth than to expose yourself to the elements of high altitude mountaineering. To see with my own eyes the view from the highest point (on each continent) is truly magical. No words can describe it, nor would you want to; you just feel it envelope your entire soul. You can only experience it - and you never forget it. Once you have been to that high place the view from below is never the same.

Is it a dangerous field of endeavour?

Yes of course. But that is not the attraction for me. I want to go to places where most people wouldn't dare go. I want to push myself and discover what I am capable of in positions of discomfort. To me, that is experiencing life to its full capacity. You must be prepared for everything the mountains have to throw at you and then a little more! Only half of the climbers who attempt Denali succeed and reach the summit, but the other half fail, and, on Denali, failure can mean death. Several people die each season on Denali pitting themselves against the mountain and putting their lives at risk. The mountain will push the limits of human survival.

What mountains have you done and what's still on the list?

I have been climbing mountains since 2005; the year I travelled to Nepal with the Victorian Police Everest team and lived at Base Camp for 8 weeks as part of their support team. That's when I fell in love with the mountains and the desire to explore was felt, just like a magnet pulling me to climb. When I returned, my Seven Summit goal was decided and a commitment to climb the highest mountain on each continent of the world was made. The following year, 2006, I climbed Australia's highest mountain Mt Kosciusko and Europe's highest mountain, Mt Elbrus. In 2007 I climbed Africa's Mt Kilimanjaro and in 2008 South America's Mt Aconcagua. I have recently climbed Mt Aspiring in New Zealand as a training climb for Denali. The remaining mountains to complete the list are Vinson Massif (Antarctica) and Mt Everest (Nepal, Asia). I hope to climb Vinson in December this year and Everest next year (pending sponsorship).

How tall are you and what do you weigh?

I am 161cm (5'4") and weigh 53kg (117lbs) ...a little ball of muscle!

Are your dimensions an advantage or disadvantage?

An advantage; I am an 'endurance machine' albeit a small(ish) one! On paper some would argue that I'm too small and lean but I am extremely strong in relation to my body-to-weight ratio. In fact, stronger than many men. On my last 2 climbs (Aconcagua & Mt Aspiring) my guides have been amazed with my strength, determination and endurance as a climber. To have an appreciation of the strength and fitness required for this expedition I will have to climb up a steep crevasse-ridden mountain wearing crampons (pointy sharp things that fit to my boot) with a 30-plus kilo pack (66lbs) on my back, while dragging a 20-plus kilo (44lbs) sled for 5-8 hours each day, for 3 weeks!

What is your long term goal with climbing?

To stand on the highest point of each continent of the world, to successfully complete the Seven Summits. To become a safe and skilled mountaineer and enjoy every moment (even when it gets really tough) the mountains have to offer me.

Do you get scared?

Yes I do! But it doesn't stop me. One of my favourite Buddhist quotes is, "go towards what terrifies you". Fear is a very interesting concept, often felt but not really understood. I believe we should fear nothing which then allows for true living. What really is to fear anyway? All things come to pass; impermanence is a fact of life. In saying this, I certainly have the utmost respect for every mountain I climb; you never under estimate nature. I understand the risks associated with mountaineering and accept the responsibility of taking part in such a sport. For me, the challenge and rewards outweigh the risks; great love and great achievements involve risks.

What are some of the lessor-known facts/challenges when it comes to tackling the toughest mountains in the world?

The physical and elemental challenges associated with high altitude mountaineering are as diverse as they are extreme. Surviving in environments not designed for human existence has obvious consequences. High altitude, the higher you climb the less oxygen there is to breathe (at 6,000m/20,000 feet there's less than half as much oxygen as there is at sea level). This lack of oxygen, called hypoxia, can produce headaches, breathlessness, nausea (a condition called A.M.S-acute mountain sickness). It can also cause H.A.P.E (high altitude pulmonary oedema) and H.A.C.E (high altitude cerebral oedema); more serious conditions which can result in death.
Arctic temperatures (frost bite and hypothermia are major concerns), extreme winds, rapidly changing weather patterns, glacier travel over huge snow-covered crevasses, avalanches, prolonged winter camping and isolation from familiarity are the other major challenges. Simple daily activities such as getting dressed, eating and preparing meals take so much energy and effort. Just going to the toilet is a very strategic exercise (I best save the details). Everything in the mountains is a challenge which takes thought and consideration. All these combined are a constant strain on climber's bodies and minds. Humans can only survive in Denali's extreme cold and punishing conditions for so long. 3 weeks will do it for me!

There is a saying in mountaineering, "The mind remembers, the body forgets". Climbing mountains of this nature pushes you to limits beyond appreciation, it is life-changing and you certainly see the world (when you get down from the mountain) in a very different light. A new appreciation for life is permanently etched forever; mountains change you (and lure you back)!
There is also the long procedure of (6-12months) planning and logistics, climbing permits, travel itinerary, accommodation (off the mountain), medical resources, obtaining supplies and equipment and of course physical and psychological training. Finally when you get on the mountain you must have good judgement and common sense to stay not only safe but alive!
In saying all this I can't wait, I'm going "into the wild". Denali here I come!

The Last Bit

Last Sunday (two days ago) I went for a training session with the pocket rocket. For two hours we traversed hills, stairs, soft sand, steep ramps and some very inhospitable dirt tracks. Gotta say, I did pretty well for a middle-aged fat bloke. You know it's all about the only child. The whole time I carried a back-pack with some car keys, a shirt and a bottle of water - a grand total of about 0.5 kilos (1lb). Or 0.5% of my body-weight. Quite the effort for the cardio king.

What's that? You want to know about Cherie? Yeah, she did okay.

Oh alright, Miss Smarty Pants completed the entire session with a 35 kilo (77lb) pack on her teeny weeny back. That's about 75% of her body-weight! Stupid I know. And yes, we got some funny looks from passers by; the big Neanderthal with the pissy little back pack and the diminutive climber with a pack bigger than her! Can you imagine walking up and down hills for two hours with 75% of your body-weight on your back? Freaky.

Enjoy your next workout.

You can leave a comment, share your thoughts or wish Cherie well by simply clicking on the link below. If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.

Note: Yes, that is Cherie in the photos. She hates the dorky PR 'glamour' shot but she'll get over it. FYI, that particular photo is a year or so old and since that time she has gained about five kilos of muscle. At the moment she looks like a little gymnast.

Ciao x

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Monday, March 30, 2009

2009... 1/4 down, 3/4 to go.

The First Bit

Today's article could have been one of those hand-holding, feel-good "I can tell you what you want to hear" posts, or it could have been an "I can tell you what you need to hear" instalment. Of course I've gone for option two, so if you're feeling a little fragile and precious then you might want to (1) take your 'Suck It Up Princess' T-shirt out of the cupboard or (2) head back to bed. As we continue to deal with

the practical and often uncomfortable issues and challenges of creating the positive change we want to see in our world (our best life), it's crucial that we take strategic pit-stops along the way; designated times when we stop what we're doing and consciously step back from our day-to-day reality to take an objective, honest and un-emotional look at how we're tracking and progressing. That is, a brutal self-assessment where we take an objective look at our decisions, reactions, relationships, behaviours, habits (good and bad) and most importantly, the type of results we're currently producing in our world. Have we followed through on the initial commitments we made? Have we done what we said we would? Are our day-to-day behaviours and decisions consistent with, and reflective of, our core values and goals? If not, why not? Are we still self-sabotaging? Still making excuses? Are we walking the talk? Asking the right questions? Finding the solution, rather than inhabiting the problem? Being the change we want to see in our world? Persevering, when most are giving up?

Or are we doing what we did last year?

2009 x 24.4% = Today!

So if my calculations are right, as of today, we're eighty nine days into 2009. Yep, our year is officially 24.4% done and if January intentions mean anything, then our 'best life' should be bearing down on us at a rapid rate; the one we vowed to create eighty nine days ago. Wait.... is that it I can see on the horizon? Nope, it's a tree. Isn't it great that this year has been so different to our last ten years - you know, all those years when we didn't get the job done. The years when we let ourselves down. Again. The ones when we kept making excuses and rationalising why we didn't do what we said we would. Yes indeedy, it's so great that we've all followed through on those New Year's resolutions, maintained our focus and stayed true to our commitment to turn our lives around, deal with those destructive behaviours and get the job done once and for all. No matter what. Finally. Phew. And of course it's also fantastic that those of us who wanted (needed) to drop some lard are so much leaner, lighter, healthier and in control of everything. Isn't it?

Hello?

Testing, testing... (tap, tap, tap).. is this thing turned on?

But You Don't Understand.. MY LIFE...

Is that the sound of wheels falling off wagons I can hear? Or perhaps it's the sound of arms being crossed in the defensive you-don't-understand-my-situation-you-big-tool... pose? Or could it be the sound of readers walking away from sarcasm-is-me-dot-com? Possibly all three?

Yes, it is my objective to push a few buttons today, so if you are in the minority who has actually followed through, done what you promised to do and are fulfilling your potential, then (1) good for you and (2) come back tomorrow - this article ain't for you. If you are in the majority who needs a quarterly reality check, a mild kick in the butt and a little perspective and honest self-assessment on your 2009 performance and results thus far, then you may wanna stick around for another minute or two.

The Key to Lasting Change: Perseverance.

For the majority of us, what typically stands between us and success over the long term is not the talent thing, not the getting started thing and not the knowing what to do thing, it's the finishing what we have started thing. Far too many of us have spent our entire adult life (to this point) not finishing (most) things. We have become professional starters. Only to find ourselves five, ten or even twenty years down the track still talking (talking, talking), still making countless resolutions but never actually delivering on all those promises. And still getting mad at people like me who speak the truth about such issues without trying to water it down. I know I'll never win the PC blogger of the year award but I don't care.

After watching far too many people go around in circles with the same issues for years, I decided long ago that it was necessary to bypass the feel-good (and ultimately pointless) bullshit and address real-life issues in a practical and authentic way. A little thing I call... honesty. Novel, I know.

Putting Our Life on the Hoist

While it's important that we set goals, have a plan and get those wheels turning on our dreams, it's also crucial that every now and then (today for example) we pull our life into the garage, turn off the engine, put it up onto the hoist, step out of our busy-ness for a moment, get some perspective and see if our life is 'driving' the way we intended it to when we pulled away from the start line on January 1 this year. Sure, we're all pretty good at starting stuff... it's just the 'keeping going' bit that seems to be something of a hurdle for us. Professional starters, that's what we are; a nation of people who start things we don't finish - that's why I can safely predict that Australia will have more obesity at the end of 2009 than it did at the beginning, despite that fact that on January 1, four million of us (1/5 of the population) went on a diet, vowing to lose weight. How do I know this? Because it's what we do every year. Obesity is not an education or resources issue, it's a perseverance, discipline and attitude issue. And until we choose to persevere, no mater what, we will continue to inhabit that world of frustration, regret and futile repetition. Creating life-long change is not about finding the right day to start (Jan. 1 for instance), it's about finding the right mindset.

Some Interesting Things I've Learned as a Coach:

1. Most people make excuses. Often.

2. Most people lie and/or exaggerate about behaviours and performance. Regularly. Some people do it incessantly. Being completely honest and transparent about our behaviours means being completely responsible for our situation - and who wants that!

3. Most people get in their own way.

4. Getting angry or getting educated is a choice.

5. Being precious, reactive and easily offended won't help you lose weight. In fact, it won't help you achieve anything except misery.

6. Your potential is fixed. How much of that potential you use, is completely optional.

7. Their is no perfect time, only a perfect attitude.

8. Strategically stepping back from our life and taking stock of the practical reality of our situation is an under-rated and neglected component of the success journey.

2009.25... 2009.5... 2009.75.... 2010!

In a 'minute', it will be 2010 and this moment you're inhabiting right now, will exist no more. If you are serious about change, serious about exploring your potential and serious about creating amazing results in your world, then my advice to you is to get over your fear, your excuses, your explanations and your procrastination, and do what you know you should have done long ago. Stop screwing around today. Stop finding creative ways to be offended today. Stop with the self-pity today. And stop wasting your precious ability, creativity, talent and time today.

By the way, hurdles, challenges and problems are not reasons.

Say hi and let us know how you're travelling. Are the wheels still on your wagon? You can leave a comment by simply clicking on the link below. If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.

Ciao x

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Friday, March 27, 2009

Moving Towards Consciousness and Calm - the last bit (for now)

Before we start

Hi Groovers. Last Thursday we had a little fun with an article called - Twenty Three Things You Ladies (Probably) Won't Hea r From Your Bloke. Anyway, I forgot to award the promised prize for our best reader contribution. Oops. After much reviewing, deliberation and heated discussion among our extensive judging panel (Johnnie and I), we've gone with Suz from Sydney for her amusing additions to our list. Well done girl. Contact the bald bloke via email and let him know if you'd prefer the ~~trip for two to the Bahamas~~ T-shirt, book, CD or DVD. And thanks to the rest of you for getting involved - you guys are pretty funny.

Today's post...

Today's instalment may be a teensy-weensy bit weird for some of you; it's almost weird for me - and I wrote it! So if you've arrived here at me-dot-com today in search of a traditional butt-kicking, motivational-type article, you may wanna come back Monday. Or Tuesday. Wednesday perhaps. Anyway, if you're ~~weird~~ brave enough, strap in and hold on.

CJ's Mum

I'm having some fun this week exploring the concept of a life beyond the cerebral chaos - and apparently, so are many of you. Cool. The other day we received a very interesting comment from one of our readers - 'CJ' - regarding all this getting-out-of-our-thoughts stuff.

Here's part of it:

"2 years ago my mum suffered a breakdown of sorts and lost all her memory, she woke up with just what she had, she could still talk and write etc but she had no history. I have honestly never known my mum happier in my life time, there had been so much negative in her life it affected her each and every day, when there was none of that to bring her down she literally seemed lighter, she smiled all the time and was just so happy being in the moment."

"I'm not saying we should all have breakdowns, but I am mentioning this because she was still the same body, same life, same base personality but the change in her thoughts made an amazing difference to the woman she was."

Thanks for sharing that story with us CJ, it's a perfect illustration of the impact our thoughts can have on, not only our overall level of happiness, but our entire reality. In an instant your mum went from being an unhappy prisoner of her thoughts (the painful past that lived on in her head) to, in your words - "I have honestly never known my mum happier in my life time"

Letting Go

"Never been happier"; that's a significant statement isn't it? Imagine that, moving from misery to happiness in one day. And the only change was an internal one; letting go (completely) of her past. Or should I say more accurately, letting go of her destructive (fearful, anxious, painful) thoughts. Of course we wouldn't recommend the method (a breakdown) but what this story teaches us is that sometimes, happiness has nothing to do with our current external reality and everything to do with the reality we create - and continue to inhabit - in our head. Once CJ's mum stopped dragging the pain of her past around, she walked out of that emotional and cerebral prison and into calm, joy and freedom. Nice.

As I have shared a few times before...

Happiness doesn't come from desperately chasing it, but rather from letting go of that which makes us unhappy

... just as we saw with CJ's mum.

Okay, here's where it may get a little weird for some of you...

In his book The Power of Now, Eckart Tolle suggests that the past doesn't actually exist, but rather that it's merely a mental concept we have created. All that exists and all that will ever exist, is the now. The only place you and I will ever live (live being a verb), that is - do, be, create, interact, communicate, breathe, laugh, touch, love - is in this present moment; right here, right now. Think about it... you and I can't do, be, create, interact, communicate, breathe, laugh, touch or love in the past, because we can't exist there - because it doesn't exist. And when you had that argument with your partner last Wednesday, that wasn't the past, that was the now. Every event in your life has always taken place in the now. The past is merely our mind's way of replaying a series of events (in the form of mental images) that all happened in the now.

Our version of 'the past'

The only place that the past - what we commonly understand as the past - can have any influence, control or power over us, is in our mind - because that's the only place it 'lives'. The past can't make us unhappy, only we make us unhappy - because the past is no more. Neither can events of the past make us miserable in the now because they simply don't exist. The pain (of what we understand as the past) is no more - unless we allow it to become a permanent resident in our mind. Just ask CJ's mother; "She smiled all the time and was just so happy being in the moment" - because for the first time, she was living totally in the now.

Okay, I kind of get it - so what 's the point?

Well, there are several truths and insights that we can take away from this:

1. By living in the past - you know, the one that doesn't exist - we are missing out on the now - you know, the one that does exist!

2. Too often we hand over power, energy, joy and precious time to those destructive thoughts that pull into our petrol station (see Monday's post). Then one day we wake up and we're five years older, just as miserable (or worse) and still 'inhabiting' the same place.

3. Knowingly or not, intentionally or not, we create our own reality. And in doing so, we create our own misery... or happiness.

4. Misery isn't the result of situations, circumstances or events but rather our thoughts about (internal response to) those things.

Thought isn't you... it's just thought

I'll finish with a quote from Eckhart:

At the heart of the new consciousness lies the transcendence of thought, the newfound ability of rising above thought, of realizing a dimension within yourself that is infinitely more vast than thought. You then no longer derive your identity, your sense of who you are, from the incessant stream of thinking that in the old consciousness you take to be yourself. What a liberation to realise that "the voice in my head" is not who I am.

Then who am I? The one who sees that. The awareness prior to thought, the space in which the thought - or the emotion or sense perception - happens. (Taken from A New Earth)

I already know that this subject is one which will continue to elicit a wide range of responses and reactions; that's okay. I also know that, while it's not always a comfortable, easy or conventional exploration, the journey to discover who we are and what we can become beyond our thoughts, is not only an exciting one, but potentially, the most important 'trip' we will ever take. Over the next few months we will periodically come back and chip away a little further at this topic. I'll do my best not to give you a brain-ache. Promise.

Say hi or leave a comment by simply clicking on the link below. If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.

Enjoy your weekend Groovers,

Ciao x

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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Moving Towards Consciousness and Calm; the Next Bit

The Feathers Fly

I know, I know... I've thrown the philosophical cat among the pigeons with Monday's post. Some of you are confused, some have a headache, some are reading it for the tenth time, a few are one step closer towards consciousness and one or two are a little excited. Sorry about that. It seems that the whole notion of "being the observer and not the inhabitor of our thoughts" is not one that's easy for all of us to digest... which is understandable when we consider that many of us have never been exposed to this type of message before. In some way, shape or form, most of us have been 'taught' that we are our thoughts, so on some level it may be the only reality we know and understand.

Before we proceed....

Before I continue with this little exploration, I want to clear up a few things that seem to be issues for some people (off the back of Monday's instalment):

1. I'm not suggesting that we pursue a life devoid of thought; thinking is actually kind of important. And unavoidable. However, not all thinking benefits us or serves us well.

2. I am suggesting that we recognise thoughts for what they are; theoretical concepts, ideas, possibilities - not (necessarily) literal realities.

3. Thoughts only have the power (influence, control, impact, relevance) over our life that we allow them to have. Of themselves, thoughts are meaningless and powerless until we attach meaning to them and give them power. That's why the 'thought' of speaking to a large audience might be terrifying for you and exciting for me. It's not about that particular thought (in this case, public speaking), it's about the emotion that you and I individually attach to that idea and the meaning we each give it. Capiche?

4. I'm not suggesting that we endeavour to make an instant shift from chronic over-thinker to enlightened being by next Tuesday, what I am suggesting is that we allow ourselves to consider who and what we are beyond our thoughts.

A Different Truth

The truth is that when we're presented with an idea or concept (such as this one) that doesn't necessarily fit into our 'box' - the one we've built to inhabit and the one that tells us how the world and everything in it works - it has the potential to rock our boat and challenge our core beliefs and current level of understanding. And most of us hate that. We hate it because we like to feel safe, certain and comfortable, and our core beliefs and understanding give us that. So when someone walks into our world and says "hey, perhaps there's another way, another truth, another reality", we can have the propensity to get a little defensive about, and protective of, our beliefs. After all, those beliefs (the way we look at the world) are the foundation for our reality, so when someone challenges our beliefs, then they challenge our reality.... and that is gonna give us a headache.

What Reality?

By the way, there is no universal reality. We each create our own reality - consciously or not. While we all inhabit this physical, three-dimensional world, we actually do most of our 'living' in our head. That's why two people in the same situation, circumstance and environment will often inhabit a totally different 'reality' because their personal experience has little to do with what appears (to the rest of us) to be happening externally, and everything to do with what's going on internally. That is, their interpretation of, and reaction to, their external world and the happenings of that world. That's why the same 'event' can be a lesson for one person and a disaster for someone else.

Too Much Thinking About Not Thinking

One of the mistakes we make in the getting-out-of-our-thoughts process is that we try to over-intellectualise (rationalise and explain with our very logical mind) something that has nothing to with academic intelligence, logic or reason and everything to do with the 'us' that exists beyond our thinking, reasoning mind. The us that just.... IS. That's right; the you that exists beyond your thoughts. When we take away your knowledge, your very specific education, your current understanding of the world, your beliefs and your intellect, do you still exist? Is there a 'you' that exists beyond your mind? Could it be that there is another kind of intelligence in you and me; a knowing and an understanding that lives in a place beyond logic, beyond our humanistic conditioning, beyond our Western thinking and beyond our current level of understanding and development? Could it be that in some ways, intelligence, as we understand it, is over-rated (from the point of view of achieving happiness, inner peace, contentment and a greater consciousness)? Could it even be that logic has the capacity to stand between us and personal transformation; the kind that works from the inside-out. Indeed, sometimes the logical mind can be a destructive place to inhabit.

So Why is the Motivator Guy Writing About This Stuff?

I know that writing these types of articles is something of a risk, in that, not everybody will identify or connect with the message. And that's okay. I also know that I run the risk of losing a reader here or there who's after more mainstream personal development stuff. Sure I could churn out yet another post on attitude, goal-setting, time-management, communication or even one of those gems on how to get a smaller ass in three weeks, but we already have a library full of those kinds of articles here at me-dot-com (see article library menu option). The truth is that right now I'm on a little journey of discovery myself, so I thought I might take those of you who would like to join me, along for the ride. Hope you don't mind.

And panic not you hard-core personal development types, there are still many more 'typical' personal development articles to come; just not this week.

Learning to Unlearn

Knowing that it's okay (necessary even) to unlearn and let go of things that I've held on to for forty something years has been incredibly liberating for me. As soon as I let go of the need to be 'right' and 'certain' - about how things work or should work - I began to learn like never before. Realising that it's okay (normal in fact) to not know or understand most things was also an integral part of the journey for me. As soon as I acknowledged that perhaps some (or much) of my existing understanding and 'knowledge' was... er... incomplete, it enabled me to have a much more fearless approach to my own personal transformation journey. Dispensing with my fear, my ego and my previously inflexible beliefs has allowed me to see old things in a completely new way.

Exercise for the Day

Okay, today (if you're so inclined) I want you to attempt one of the most basic and common (but not necessarily easy) getting-out-of-your-thoughts exercises - focusing on your breathing; a simple meditation.

Here's the drill:

1. Sit on the floor, a chair or the ground if you're outside (nature is great for this process). Or you can kneel if you don't have dodgy forty five year-old knees like someone we both know. If you go for the chair option (which I wouldn't), make sure it's not a comfy, falling-asleep kind of chair. If you want to sit cross-legged and you're not used to it, you may wanna put a cushion or two under your butt. I'm a one-cushion guy.

2. Ensure that your environment is as quiet as you can make it (no phone, TV, radio, etc).

3. Sit (or kneel) with a relatively upright posture - avoid the slump factor.

4. Just sit there for a moment (maybe a minute or two) and notice the busy-ness of your mind.

5. Now do your best to have an awareness of your thoughts without being in them. Picture them on the other side of your fence (see Monday's post).

6. Now take your attention away from your thoughts and turn it towards your breathing. Just notice your breathing for a moment. Nothing else. Every time you feel your focus slipping away from your breathing and back into your thoughts, gently take yourself back to your breathing.

7. Clear your mind and now focus solely on your breathing. In and out. Nothing else. Calm and relaxed. See if you can make it for one minute (yep one!) without a single thought interrupting your bliss. When you've mastered a minute, progress to two, three, four and so on. If you can (well, we know you can but the question is will you?), find ten minutes twice a day for the next seven days to lose yourself in your breathing. Let me know how you go with the getting (totally) out of your thoughts thing - I still struggle sometimes.

Say hi or leave me a comment by simply clicking on the comment thingy below. If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.

Ciao x

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Monday, March 23, 2009

Moving Towards Consciousness and Calm

When Thinking Gets in the Way

Lately I've written much about the chaotic mind, the propensity we have to over-think and the inability so many of us have to escape the internal noise, get out of our thoughts and find our way back to a little tranquility. Or as Happy Gilmour calls it, our Happy Place. Being constantly trapped in our stinkin' thinkin' can be a ticket to depression, anxiety and stress... not to mention the possibility of those less-than-desirable decisions, behaviours and outcomes. If you're a chronic over-thinker, you know exactly what I'm talking about. All too often our thinking gets in the way of our happiness and our peace of mind. And our career. And relationships. And potential. And health. And... the list goes on.

The realisation that "I am not my thoughts" can be a very liberating one for people who not only identify strongly with their thoughts, but actually become their thoughts. In case you've never been told, I'll tell you now:

"You are not your thoughts and your thoughts are not you."

Thought Happens

Thought happens automatically, independently and continually, as do all of our internal processes - circulation, respiration, chemical reactions, sweating, vaso-constriction and dilation, digestion, healing... and many more. Yes we can choose what we do with, or about, our thoughts, and yes we can 'manage' our cerebral landscape to a point, but the human condition means that thoughts will constantly arrive in our head, like a never-ending stream of cars pulling into a petrol (gas) station. And naturally, many of those cars aren't vehicles we wanna drive.

What the?

We've all had those completely weird "where-the-F-did-that-thought-come-from" moments. Surely you remember that time when you fantasized about killing your annoying neighbour because he played his music so loud... okay, maybe that was just me.

I knew I shouldn't watch Dexter before bed.

Of course there is also conscious thinking on our behalf - which usually comes in the form of problem solving, strategic planning, memory recall and organisational thinking, but in truth, much of what happens at that gas station above our shoulders is - despite us.

It just happens. And happens. Like waves crashing on the beach.

Finding our Way to Consciousness

The beginning of consciousness and inner freedom is having an 'awareness' of our thoughts without necessarily being completely identified with them. Observing them without being 'in' them. The relevant picture I have in my mind is of me standing on one side of an old timber fence, with my arms and chin perched on the top. On the other side of the fence my thoughts parade by me like models on a catwalk. They are unaware of me but I can see them clearly. They are mine but they are not me.

In this place, I am merely an observer of my thoughts.

In this place I have the choice of investing time, energy and emotion into those thoughts... or not.

The Observer

Once I become the observer and not the inhabitor of my thoughts, I have the ability to move from mental and emotional incarceration, to total freedom. Freedom to create an existence beyond the confines of my conditioning, my social programming, my fears and my (once) destructive thinking. Freedom to create an identity, reality and purpose beyond my chaotic mind. And freedom to discover who I am and what I can become, beyond my thoughts.

Feel free to borrow my fence.

Coming Up...

Over the next week or two, I will be sharing some practical and effective strategies for escaping the mayhem that is (often) our thoughts; techniques for being the calm in your storm. I realise that for some of you, this kind of information is 'old news' and for others, it's possibly a little weird and confronting. It was for me too. Especially 'me' the Scientist. Today I merely wanted to open the door on a fascinating area; an area that once understood and embraced, can be life-changing. Your moving-toward-consciousness exercise for this week is to do your best to recognise thoughts as they pull into your station without being them. Being the observer of your thoughts (looking over the fence) without 'being them' allows you to avoid the emotional buy-in. That is, the place where we attach fear, anxiety, anger, resentment and a range of other destructive emotions (and subsequent behaviours) to those thoughts.

Let me know your thoughts by simply clicking on the comment thingy. If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.

Ciao x

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Friday, March 20, 2009

Using Music to Escape the Cerebral Chaos

Hello Grasshoppers.

So it seems that yesterday I opened Pandora's box. No jokes you Aussie girls. Apparently I provided a forum for the frustrated and angry women of the world to vent and didn't you all give it a red hot crack! It's a good thing that: (1) we blokes aren't precious (2) we typically have a low E.Q. so we actually think you girls are joking and (3) most of us don't read Craig's blog so we don't know that we should be offended. One day next week I'll be offering up the 23 things that blokes probably won't hear from their girls. I may need some help. I'll letcha know. I'll announce the winner of the T-shirt on Monday (re yesterday's post)... so feel free to keep venting!

A Monday Prequel

On Monday I'll be sharing a message about escaping the chaos that is our thoughts, and opening the door on the topic of moving towards consciousness. It's an area of great interest to me and I know that most of you will find it relevant, meaningful and helpful. I also know that some of you will find it confronting and challenging. And a few will think it's completely weird! On the practical matter of getting out of our thoughts, I am regularly asked how I do it. Over the next few weeks, I will be exploring some simple, yet effective techniques, for moving beyond the chaos of the cerebral and into the calm of consciousness. And while there is no one 'best' universal method, for me, one thing that works every time, is music. Providing of course, it's music that I connect with.

Lost in the Music

Music has always been an escape for me. A refuge; a place to get away from my thoughts for a while and just be. I have played guitar since I was about eight and there's always one close at hand. I work from two offices, one at the gym and one at home, and there's a guitar at each. While there are many effective techniques for moving beyond our thoughts, I find that music can take me from chaos to calm in a matter of seconds if I allow it to. Today I just wanted to share with you one of my 'meditations' from a musician named Andy McKee. You may hate or love his music depending on your personal taste. He is an incredible guitarist who I came across here on the net and I have been listening to him for a while. His style is indeed unique but the sound that he and his instrument create is beautiful. For me anyway. Three minutes of Andy is like a mini holiday for me. If you really want to see someone who is totally out of his thoughts, take a look at Andy play; it's like he and his guitar have morphed into one big expression of creative genius. I hope you enjoy one of my fave escapes.

Take a listen by clicking on the play thingy below.

Feel free to leave a comment and share your thoughts on...

1. What you think of Andy's music
2. Your fave getting-out-of-your-thoughts music
3. Your most effective getting-out-of-your-thoughts technique
4. Anything that's on topic

If you're not sure how to do the comment thing, click here.

Enjoy your weekend...

Ciao x

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Thursday, March 19, 2009

Twenty Three Things You Ladies (Probably) Won't Hear From Your Bloke

Some Momentary Mirth

It's been mentioned that some of the more recent instalments here at me-dot-com have been a little intense and heavy and it's been suggested (thanks Ben, et al) that I should periodically lighten the vibe with some occasional mirth, frivolity and silly-ness. Being as I have a Master's in Silly-ness (Ms.S) and a PhD. in Sarcasm, I thought that sounded like an easy addition to the roster. I'm only too happy to slip out of my coaches cap and into my yellow woolly wig and my big red shoes for a day.

But We're Perfect...

Knowing what amazing communicators we blokes are, how many issues we don't have, how completely honest we are, how emotionally evolved we have all become (thanks Dr. Phil), how great we are with feedback and direction and how willing we are to learn, I knew it might be a tough assignment to try and poke fun at the males of the species, but I've given it a go nonetheless.

Okay, here we go...

Twenty three things you're not likely to hear come out of your Bloke's mouth:

1. Would you like to drive Honey?

2. Sex? No - thanks for the offer, but I really want to finish this vacuuming.

3. I'd really like to talk to you about how I'm feeling and where this relationship is going.

4. Sorry, it was totally my fault.

5. Wow, you're absolutely right; he really is good looking isn't he?

6. Can you please turn that sport down Sweetie, I'm trying to meditate and focus on my breathing.

7. Gee, I wish I was as smart as your Father.

8. What's that? You crashed my new car into the garage wall? That's okay, as long as you're not hurt. It's only a stupid Porsche.

9. How about you sit down for a while and let me make dinner?

10. Hey Honey, see that guy over there? He could totally kick the shit out of me.

11. Sorry about that fart; totally not funny and completely inappropriate. It won't happen again.

12. Have you seen my Louise L. Hay book? I think I left it lying around with my Eckhart Tolle CD.

13. Darl, I'm off to the doctor for a prostate exam. Would you like me to do the shopping for you on the way home?

14. I want you to tell me all about how you're feeling... and I have all day.

15. I just realised what a big ego I have. How embarrassing.

16. Is it okay if we just cuddle tonight?

17. You're right; I really am insecure.

18. Do we have any more of that delicious tofu?

19. A three-way with your hot girlfriend? No way, that's disgusting.

20. Do you want to watch Pretty Woman again tonight?

21. Cage fighting? What's that?

22. Did I mention what a loser I was at high school and how bad I was at sport?

23. I know I'm bad at sex and I'm really sorry about my small penis.

Okay, I'm sure you have at least one addition to add to our silly list. Perhaps a little gem that will make us fall off our computer stools in fits of laughter with severe abdominal cramping. For the clever-ist addition (yep, a term), I will get the bald man to send you a T-Shirt. Even if you live in Siberia. And a big... er... warm(?) hello to my Siberian readers.

As always, leave your hilarious, witty and entertaining contribution by simply clicking on the comment thingy. If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here. Also feel free to share something completely unhilarious (I often do).

Ciao x

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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A letter to the Parent Blamers of the World

Dear Parent Blamer,

Firstly let me say, stop it.

It's pathetic and pointless. And for the rest of us innocent bystanders... very annoying.

To be completely honest, we're sick of your whining, your complaining, your anger, your victim mentality and your inability to see that your current attitude (not some historical event) is your biggest problem. We're also sick of you blaming your (current) bad behaviour on your parents. What's standing between you and success right now is YOU. Not your folks, not your history... you. And the fact that you think THEY have sabotaged your life and are somehow responsible for your (current) stupid behaviours and less-than-desirable outcomes, wreaks of denial, immaturity and delusion.

Yes, we all get that your childhood, or parts thereof, sucked - welcome to the world's largest club.

We also get that your old man was periodically a completely insensitive, uncommunicative *%#@* at times. Sadly, that's what (many) fathers do. And yep, we know that your mother was a selfish cow that time when you were in the eighth (and ninth and tenth) grade; it happens.

Okay, let's be honest and blunt... some parents are crap. And yes, many of us have been hurt - physically, emotionally and/or psychologically - by our parents. I am not suggesting that you deny your past, but I am suggesting that you don't live there. It'll kill you. In ten different ways. Some people have been inhabiting the seventies and eighties and re-visiting their childhood for the last few decades.

No matter how much you think your parents deserve your anger, vitriol and resentment, I'm telling you (1) it serves no positive purpose (2) it will hurt you more than them (3) stop being a big, immature, stupid baby and (4) you and only you, are responsible for your current reality - no matter what your parents have or haven't done to you, or for you.

Even though you may have a very good 'reason' to be eternally pissed at your folks, I'm saying let it go anyway. Move on. And it's not about what they do or don't deserve; it's about what you deserve. If you want to destroy your potential, your enthusiasm, your optimism and your hope, then become a chronic Parent Blamer. Hang on to that hurt, no matter what!

Or you could let me save you some serious time and pain and just believe me when I tell you that being a Parent Blamer is a pointless, destructive, pathetic waste of your potential and emotional energy. And if you're not careful, a waste of your life. It will destroy you from the inside out. It's true; some people will die angry, bitter, resentful and tortured souls because they never found a way to let go of the self-perpetuated - yep, read that clearly, self-perpetuated - misery. When you're still desperately holding on to emotional crap from years ago, it's YOU that's the problem. When you're twenty five, thirty five or fifty five and you're still thinking, talking and behaving like a teenager who's mad at their parents, you need a big reality check.

The only thing you can change about the past, is how you let it affect you now.

You may wanna read that again.

Over the years I have worked with people who have blamed their parents for everything from their poor communication skills, dysfunctional relationships, destructive habits and violent behaviours, to their fat body and poor eating habits. What!!! Do you not have a brain in your head? Are you incapable of independent thought? Can you not make your own decisions, choose your own behaviours and be responsible for your own existence? Surely you feed yourself these days? Surely you have some control over what comes out of your mouth? And surely you can choose to do, be and create different in your world.

Perhaps your parents taught you how not to be?

Let me say that I totally understand that your parents weren't always what they should or could have been for you as a child (caring, supportive, forgiving, understanding, loving, available, guiding, honest). You have my sympathy and understanding but you're not alone. You're in a very large majority. The problem with parents is that they're flawed and that whole 'being human' thing kind of gets in the way of parental perfection. If only parents were cyborgs.

Today's article is the result of an inordinate amount of recent conversations I've had with people who are hell-bent on blaming their parents for every aspect of their own miserable and dysfunctional existence. Sometimes the vitriol, the anger, the resentment and dare I say, the absolute hatred, that people hang on to (for decades) amazes and saddens me.

The parental blame game is a slippery slope of self-pity, self-destruction and futility that's played by far too many people to their own detriment. It's a game you're advised to avoid.

Hope this letter finds you well,

Craig.

Feel free to share your thoughts or to blame me for something. If you're a reformed Parent Blamer I'd reaaaally love to hear from you. If you're not sure how to do the comment thing, click here.

Ciao x

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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Five Ways to Create Momentum

Human Statues

In order to get anywhere - either literally or metaphorically - we need to create and maintain a certain level of momentum. Sitting in your very-capable Porsche won't get you anywhere unless you choose to start the engine, engage a gear (or six), steer the car and operate the pedals. In my time as a coach, trainer and teacher I've encountered many people who have

not only been sitting in their Porsche for decades, but they've never even opened the garage door! Such a massive waste of talent, power and time. The person who doesn't find a way to create momentum is the person who won't realise their dreams, move forward or explore their potential. Sadly, some people will spend their lives sitting in neutral, almost doing something but never really doing anything significant. Talent, opportunities, ideas and even brilliance will amount to nothing if we fail to create and maintain momentum. Consider the person in your life (past or present) who is/was always talking about their grand plans for greatness, success and change in their world. You know; the one who is great at the theory (the talking bit) but not so good at the practical (the doing bit).

Here's some momentum-creating suggestions that work... if you work.

1. Take that first step and keep stepping. As anyone with a basic understanding of physics will tell you, maintaining momentum is significantly easier than creating it. The first step is both the scariest and the most empowering. It's also the most important. Procrastination is the enemy of potential, the refuge of the weak and a synonym for fear. The vast majority of people who take that long-overdue first step usually say something very predictable like "I wish I had done this years ago" or "I don't know what I was so afraid of". Get your potential out of neutral, engage a gear, hit the gas and don't look back. Everything after the first step is a blessing or a lesson.

2. Consider the cost of not changing. Imagine your life in five or ten years from now if you don't change, if you don't address the things you should and if you don't pursue your dreams. Right now picture yourself being ten years older; you still haven't made a significant decision, still haven't taken that chance, still haven't taken charge of your body, you're still talking too much and doing too little, still coughing up the endless excuses, still being controlled by people and circumstances and still wasting your potential. Do you like that picture? Change is rarely about the right time and usually about the right attitude, choices and behaviours. Sometimes picturing what we don't want is enough to get us moving in the right direction.

3. Gain some clarity and certainty. Get clear about what you want and don't want for your life. Stop going through the motions and stop living that repetitive existence of habit - the one that makes you miserable and the one you really don't want. The more certain you are about what you want, the easier it will be to stay focused, proactive and productive. If you don't have clarity, then do your best to de-clutter your mind, step back, gain some perspective, spend more time by yourself, stop being so 'busy' (even for a day) and listen to that still small voice; it knows. When we make the effort to find some space, time and quiet and then genuinely listen, the clarity will come. The tricky bit can be when we find that clarity (about what we need to do) and it scares the crap out of us. When this happens, refer to point one!

4. Get excited. Excitement creates momentum. When we're excited we do stuff. We overcome fears. We take chances. We make tough decisions. We push the boundaries. We explore our potential. We become solution-focused. We become more resourceful. Chat with any successful person about their goals and their passion and you'll see what I mean about excitement. If you're not excited (on some level) about your goals, then you may need to find some different ones.

5. Set deadlines. Set yourself some non-negotiable deadlines and make a public (or semi-public) declaration. Not everyone's cup of tea but works well for many. Sometimes we've gotta put our butt on the line to create some real momentum. Don't be scared of pressure, discomfort or deadlines; they can make all the difference and they can be your greatest teacher. By the way, I'm not suggesting that you do this some time in the future when it suits your schedule and the planets have aligned, I'm suggesting that you do it in the next five minutes.

Bossy I know.

Let me know your secrets for creating and maintaining momentum. What works for you? Do tell.... and as always, feel free to share a general comment or say hi. If you're not sure how to do the comment thing, click here.

Seeyuz x

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Monday, March 16, 2009

The Two Minute Workout

G'day Groovers, I trust you're well and being the change you want to see in your world. I also hope you had a belter of a weekend. Today's article is a simple development of a concept that I introduced to you a while ago in another article here at me-dot-com. It's not for everyone, but for some people, this kind of approach to exercise can be a life-saver.

It's Quick, Free and Practical!

Any article called "The Two Minute Workout" is, at the very least, gonna be worth a cursory glance isn't it? You never know, there may actually be something of value in it. Imagine doing a mini workout that requires no expensive equipment, no trip to the gym, no change of clothes (unless you're wearing stilettos and chaps to begin with), no PhD. to figure out a hi-tech fitness gizmo and no post-workout shower. Nice.

And yes, it exists.

As Hard as We Make it

But does it actually work? Yep. Can anyone do it? Yep. Is it exciting? Not particularly. Am I sure it works? Yep. One of my pet hates is the propensity that we wanna-be-hard-bodies have for making the weight/fat-loss process harder than it needs to be. And I say 'we' because most of us have done it at some stage. And yes, I'm part of the collective we. Our body is more than capable of losing the chub whenever we're ready, but it seems that our head (mindset, attitude, beliefs, self-talk) is not always an ally in the process. In fact more often than not, it's the enemy!

The Practical Obstacles

So as an (alleged) Exercise Expert and pseudo Behavioural Psychologist, I'm forever trying to help people to see old things in a new way - and that's what I'm doing here today. Chat with anyone about their (perceived) barriers to productive and consistent exercise (and weight loss) and invariably they will talk about "the practical issues" which get in their way. Namely - travel, finances, equipment, resources and time. So what if we found an easy way to get around those hurdles?

We're always talking about the time factor - "I just can't seem to find thirty, forty-five or sixty minutes to do a workout every day." Well maybe we don't need to string a whole lot of minutes together, perhaps we could achieve the same (or better) results by exercising in small (very small) installments? Well, research - both scientific and observational - tells us we can.

Metabolic Booster

Did you know that, in terms of energy expenditure (and therefore fat and weight loss), fifteen two minute mini workouts through the day will be just as effective as one thirty minute session of the same activity at the same intensity? In fact, there is evidence to suggest that it will actually be more effective because the mini workouts are constantly giving our metabolism (that rate at which our body expends energy) a kick along. Giddy-up!

120 Seconds Per Hour

As a very rough guide, most of us will spend somewhere around eight hours in the slumber position each day, so in order to illustrate my concept I've decided to base this sample program on sixteen two minute mini-workouts (one for each hour we're not sleeping), using a piece of equipment that we all have access to and an activity that requires virtually no skill, minimal co-ordination and a less-than-Olympian fitness level.

The Two Minute Step Box Workout

While this two-minute concept can be adapted to many pieces of equipment (bikes, treadmills, steppers, rope, cross-trainers, rowers, climbers... etc.) and many activities, I am going with the good old step box today because it's practical, effective and convenient. I have based my energy expenditure and weight-loss figures (to come) on the individual using a twelve inch (30cm) step box (table, platform, step, chair, bench), the person weighing 80kgs (176lbs) and the step-ups being done at brisk walking pace. That is, step up - both feet, step down - both feet. Keep in mind that (1) the figures I'm providing are very general and to be used as a guide only (2) the higher the step and the heavier the exerciser, the greater the number of calories burned per unit of time - so adjust the figures up or down to suit your situation - and (3) there are also other variables (technique, stepping speed) which will impact on the calories burned. But the energy expenditure and weight-loss figures, along with the workout concept explanation, should give you an idea of what's possible and what we can do when we 'find a way' rather than 'find an excuse'.

What to Expect?

So let's put you in the middle of this little example and let's assume that you keep everything else in your world the same; that is, you maintain your current activity level and your current calorie intake. Let's also assume that you're neither gaining or losing significant weight at the moment and that you weigh 80 kilos (176 lbs). The only variation in your current behaviour would be the inclusion of this program. Take a look at these figures:

1. 2 minutes of stepping (as described above) = 29 cals.

2. 29 cals x 16 (2 min. hourly installments) = 464 cals (over the day)

3. 464 (daily cals) x 365 (days per year) = 169, 360 cals (over the year)

4. 169, 360 cals / 3,500 cals (the amount of cals in 1 lb of body-fat) = 48.4 lbs (22kgs)

That is, a weight loss of 48.4 lbs (22kgs) over one year without training like an Olympian, without going to a gym, without being obsessive, without getting dressed up, without starving and without being extreme.

What's the point?

The point of this little illustration is not that we should all start doing hourly two-minute step-up workouts for the next year (but then perhaps some of us should?). The point is that effective weight-loss does not need to be as technical, complex or as difficult as we often make it. Clearly, the practical reality of doing a program such as this for a year might drive us nuts (or not), but would it work? Yes it would. Anyway, it's not about this particular program, it's about the concept - short regular bouts of exercise. Maybe it would be jumping rope, stair jogging or stationary bike instead of step-ups. Maybe it could be three or four minutes bouts, not two. Maybe it would be every second hour and perhaps you'll do it for eight weeks, not fifty two. Whatever works and whatever you will persevere with.

Why did I choose step-ups for this illustration?

Even though they ain't always a bunch of fun, they absolutely work. Apart from being accessible, convenient and practical, high steps also burn a shit-load of calories and hit the butt and legs very (very) effectively. I mention that small fact on the off chance that you know of someone who is in need of work in that.. er... region.

See ya.

As always, feel free to share a comment. If you're not sure how to do that, click here.

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Friday, March 13, 2009

Hanging out with Eckhart Tolle

The Meister of Eck

I spent the other night hanging out with Eckhart Tolle. Yep, just me and the big Eckinator. The meister of Eck. Yessirree.. me, him.... and one or two (thousand) others. Okay, so we weren't technically alone but let's not get all pedantic about it. Geeze Louise. Anyway, I know there was some kind of cosmic connection between us. Not so sure that he felt it but...

Who?

For those of you who haven't heard of the big E, he is considered (by some) to be one of the world's foremost authorities on all things spiritual and philosophical - although I know he would never describe himself as such. While he has been around for years, the last year has seen him catapulted to global attention thanks to the endorsement of the most famous woman on the planet and one of his biggest fans; Oprah Winfrey. And it's fair to say that the Miss O. tick of approval ain't gonna hurt your cause or damage your brand any!

A Different Kind of Smart

It's also fair to say that E.T. is smart. A genius perhaps. And not smart in a regular Mensa kind of way, just breath-takingly insightful, aware, gifted and different - in my humble opinion of course. In fact, he's too different for some. Although he has an academic background (of sorts), his teaching and philosophy is about as academic as cheesecake. That is, not at all. I like that. A little academia; good. Too much; annoying. Much of his teaching turns conventional thinking on it's head. In fact, he's not really a big fan of thinking; he believes that it (often) gets in the way of awareness, consciousness and inner peace.

I won't endeavour to condense two hours of teaching into one post, but I will share a couple of things that resonated with me.

1. Not everything needs to 'make sense' or fit into a box. We love putting stuff in boxes don't we? We love to label and categorise things. We live in a world that, on many levels, is pre-occupied with the three-dimensional. If we can't see it, touch it, hold, it, measure it, photograph it, test it, examine it or chop it up, then it can't be real. Spiritual and philosophical stuff freaks (some) people out because it does not fit comfortably (and we love being comfortable) into their scientific framework, their humanistic thinking or their current level of understanding. And rather than say that (1) they don't know (2) they don't really understand or (3) they are not open to considering another way of looking at things, they will often resort to calling the messenger a 'crackpot' and the message 'mumbo-jumbo'. For many people, things that don't 'make sense' - within the realm of their logic, understanding, education, beliefs and experience - are to be avoided and/or criticised - no matter how much they don't really know about those things. Science, logic and analytical thinking serve a purpose - to a point - and then they get in the way. Sometimes we need to un-learn before we can learn and sometimes logic and reason are simply synonyms for fear and ignorance. Some very logical and reasonable people are also very miserable and restricted because they never allow themselves to venture beyond the very limited space that is, their mind. Some of the most amazing truths, lessons and gifts lie beyond logic, beyond science and beyond the boundaries of our fearful and indoctrinated thinking. And that's coming from a scientist!

2. We are not our thoughts. Most of us associate so strongly with our thoughts that we become them. Tolle teaches that thinking 'happens' despite us. Our thoughts are not us, just as our body is not us. Discovering that we are not our thoughts and that our thoughts don't necessarily need to shape, create or even influence our reality can be completely liberating. Having an awareness of our thoughts (good or bad) - without being lost in them or trapped by them - is indicative of a shift consciousness; some might say, the beginning of enlightenment. Then the question becomes "who am I beyond my thoughts, beyond my body, beyond my reputation, beyond my credentials, beyond my achievements and beyond my ego"? Explore that question openly, honestly and humbly and you'll probably experience more than a little discomfort. What if you're not who you thought you were? Or who others told you, you are? Open that door, and a whole new world awaits.

Enjoy your day.

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Thursday, March 12, 2009

Improving Exercise Productivity

I'll be wearing my Exercise Science hat today and we'll be going back to basics. The following tips will be revision for some and revelation for others. Keep in mind that the key to creating results is not about what I write, but what you do with what I write. Not every suggestion will be appropriate or relevant for you but take a peek and see what resonates. Easy Peasy...

1. Don't follow a generic program. If we all had the same body, the same goals, the same exercise history, the same medical conditions and were all about the same fitness level and age, then that generic program yanked from your fave exercise mag would be just perfect.

2. Splash some cash on a good program. Sometimes (not always) a little financial investment is what we need to secure our 'best' program. Find yourself an experienced Trainer, Exercise Scientist or Physiologist (who comes highly recommended and has a great track record) and get yourself a program that's designed specifically for you; your body, your goals, your needs. When we wrap our best attitude and best effort around our best program, then we create the best environment to produce outstanding results.

3. Give your body a reason to change. Too many people do the same thing, the same way forever (exercises, sets, reps, weights, cardio activities, recovery time, intensity) and then wonder why nothing changes. Well, nothing changes (your body) when nothing changes (the way you exercise). Do the same and you'll get the same. If it's physical transformation you're after, variety and progression are paramount.

4. Be consistent. Too many people simply don't finish (or should I say, maintain) what they start. The stop/start approach to exercise only leads to misery, frustration and poor results. Create some non-negotiable rules and then suck it up. Do what most won't; persevere.

5. Diarise your workouts. Keeping an exercise journal is a great way to help you stay focused, honest, grounded, accountable and consistent. It's also a practical and objective way to gauge progress - very important.

6. Train with a partner. People who train with a partner typically create better results. You'll be more consistent and more accountable, the quality of your training will be better and over the long term, you're less likely to throw in the towel.

7. Get uncomfortable. Many people see very little in the way of physical change because they always train in their comfort zone. Always. Simulated training I call it; looks like a workout but isn't. Working out doesn't need to be an exercise in agony but a little 'healthy hurting' ain't gonna kill you. Big Baby.

8. Change that attitude. When it comes to exercise, many people let their crappy attitude stand between their body and transformation. Exercise is as hard as we choose to make it. If you decide it will be a miserable process, it will be. Approach every session with your best mindset and you'll be amazed at what your body can do when your head doesn't get in the way.

9. Get assessed regularly. Regular assessments (I suggest every four weeks) will give you not only some practical feedback and data - to gauge your progress and the efficacy of your program - but also a level of objectivity and perspective. Depending on your goals, testing can be conducted for variables such as strength, power, speed, aerobic fitness, muscular endurance, flexibility, body-composition, biological age, girth measurements and of course, weight.

10. De-emotionalise the process. When it comes to our bodies, many of us are very emotional creatures. Don't be that person who over-thinks the process, simply create an intelligent plan and implement it. Consistently. Create some non-negotiable exercise rules, be practical, be disciplined and do what you need to do - not necessarily what you want to do.

Okay, do what you need to.

As always, feel free to share a comment. If you're not sure how to do that, click here.

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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Listening

A Lesson in Aisle 8

What is it with me and supermarkets? I always (okay semi-regularly) find myself in the middle of some kind of totally unplanned, abstract life-lesson in the most ridiculous of locations. This time it was the long-life milk section; aisle 8 next to the Tupperware (type) stuff. Yep, it happened again today when I headed down the street to pick up a few staples and I bumped into a lady that I trained about fifteen years ago. For the first five minutes of the conversation I didn't even know where I knew her from, let-alone what her name was. Then when I did figure out who she was (an old client), I spent another five minutes fossicking through the cerebral abyss that is my mind, for her name. To no avail. Fortunately she gave it to me as she relayed one of her many stories.

This Milk is Getting Heavy

It's fair to say this lady has had a dramatic and tragic decade or so, and lucky Craig was given a blow by blow description of the vast majority of it. I even put my milk back on the shelf after the second divorce story. Which was just before the bankruptcy story. And way after the "I nearly died from a post-operative infection" story. That was a belter. And let's not even mention the ugly family feud that has seen her become an outcast of her own clan... story. Oh the joy of family. In the forty five minutes(!!!) we (er, she) chatted, she didn't ask me one question about me. Not one. Potentially traumatic for an only child. And in case you're wondering, no, she doesn't know that this site exists, so I doubt she'll stumble across this literary masterpiece any time soon. And if she does, she won't be offended.

I...er...aah...pfft..

As she wheeled out one tragic story after another, I began to feel somewhat inept as I didn't really know what to say. It seemed like any words would have been inadequate, so I just listened intently, nodded, maintained eye contact and occasionally came out with some profound personal development gems like "wow" and "gee, that must have been horrible". Oh yes, that's why I get the big bucks. Have you ever felt like that? You know, when someone's life has been so challenging and their story so tragic, that you almost feel it's inappropriate to be Mr/Mrs Positivity? In that moment I was compelled to say nothing. A new experience for me. I was compelled to not be the 'Fixer' for once. It almost killed me to not be the solution guy but my feminine self (oh yes, she's there) said "shut up you big alpha-male dickhead and just listen for once." And who am I to argue with a woman?

So that's what I did; listen. And listen. And listen.

The Dud

As we parted company we shared a brief hug and I wished her well. I had spoken twenty words and she had spoken twenty thousand. To be honest, I felt like a bit of a dud as I walked away. Considering what I do for a living, I thought I could have done more... but as I said earlier, I didn't want to piss off you-know-who.

As I walked up to the register, I was wondering how I could have been more helpful and made that conversation more 'productive'. I honestly felt like I had let her down in some way. A few minutes later I was walking to the car park, groceries in hand and still deep in thought when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

A Time to Say Nothing

"I just wanted to say thanks Craig, I really appreciate you spending some time with me and listening to my crap. I know you didn't need to. You are an amazing listener and I feel so positive and uplifted after chatting with you. Somehow I feel stronger and more motivated, so thanks again." I was speechless. I had honestly said nothing of value.

But then it wasn't really about what I had to say, was it?

Love to hear you thoughts and comments as always. If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.

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Monday, March 9, 2009

Why is Oprah still Over Weight?

The bit before the first bit...

Before I get under way today, I just want to say thanks to all you amazing people who shared your personal stories with us on Friday. Your honesty and courage is inspirational, insightful and potentially, very helpful to others. To be honest, grief is a pretty tough subject to explore as a writer and I didn't know how that particular post would be received. While I know that type of information and discussion is not always 'light or easily-digestible', it can be transformational and invaluable for the right person at the right time. So thanks for your contributions.

Opening the door

Today's post is not so much a lesson, as it is me opening the door on a discussion that will be relevant and of interest to many of you. Yes I will share my thoughts and ideas but I won't be providing any major solutions or never-heard-before revelations. The reason I've chosen Oprah to revolve my questions around is purely because we all know who she is and can relate to her in some way. If the title of today's post was "why is Mrs. Smith (from the grocery store down the road) still fat?", it may not have generated the same level of interest or curiosity and we may have struggled to identify with, or relate to, some anonymous person. And then there was the small issue of finding some decent publicity shots of Mrs Smith for my article. Her agent is a tool.

Let's not get side-tracked with emotion

Yeah I know, feathers will be ruffled and noses will be put out of joint today... and that's just because of the title of this little discussion. But before you Oprah lovers start gettin' all "Craig's a big meany-weany, nasty-pants, Oprah-hater" on me, let me preface my thoughts on Miss O's battle of the bulge with a little disclaimer... Firstly, I think Oprah rocks. Mostly. She's uber smart, uber talented, has achieved off the chart, helps a shit-load of people, is an incredible communicator (something I dig) and as a much as I can tell from the comfort of my lounge chair here in down-town Craig-ville, seems to be a kind, generous, genuine and philanthropic person. With a few challenges and issues (like the rest of us). So let me be clear for those who have a propensity to seek out the negative - this article isn't about anything other than Oprah's very public battle with her weight and the relevant lessons for the rest of us. Me acknowledging her obesity is not an insult but merely an observation of her physiological condition. If you want to make it offensive then that's your choice, not my intent and you're missing the entire point of the article.

So why Oprah?

A few reasons:

1. Many of us have had (or do have) similar battles and most of us know of, sympathise with, respect or connect with her on some level.

2. She has had probably the most public (and lengthy) battle with weight in recent history.

3. Over her journey she has had every resource and some of the leading experts and specialists in the world at her disposal.

4. It's interesting (incredible even) that a person can create a multi-billion dollar business, turn herself into a global media phenomenon and become a symbol of success for women around the world, but not be able to get herself in shape physically and stay that way. Especially a strong, dynamic, intelligent and talented person who has desperately wanted to change her body for decades. I guess that's a clear indication of how tough it can be for us to take charge of our bodies.

5. I have seen many (many, many) people with far less resources, far less professional assistance (that is, zero) and possibly less knowledge, understanding and talent, achieve and maintain incredible results. So, for that reason, I thought that the 'creating forever results' topic might be an interesting, relevant and valuable one to explore.

So the big question is... "can Oprah actually lose the weight and keep it off forever?"

Well, the answer to that is absolutely yes, but the better question is "will she?" And the answer to that... I don't have. We've all seen the slimmer version of Oprah so we know that she has the physical capacity to lose weight. But as you and I know, losing weight is often the easy part; the real challenge is to keep it off for a lifetime. Does it matter if she's obese? You'd have to ask her. The last two decades of her life and the numerous weight-loss attempts would suggest that it does matter. As an exercise scientist, I only care about people's body-fat levels from a health perspective. However, as an ex-fatty who copped plenty of ridicule, I also 'get it' from a sociological, emotional and psychological perspective too. In a culture that has a tendency to judge our worth, desirability and social standing purely on appearance, being fat sucks. It did for teenage me anyway.

The Theory and the Reality

While the theory of weight-loss is something of a no-brainer (energy in, energy out), the practical reality of transforming a body and creating lasting change is significantly more complex and challenging; just ask Miss O. We can all theorise and philosophise as to why (like so many others) she has vacillated between in-the-zone and out-of-control but in truth, only Oprah will ever know the whole story because the state of her body (what's happening externally) is largely a reflection of the state of her mind (what's happening internally). And of course the only person who lives there... is her. While Oprah has some practical getting-in-shape-challenges (welcome to the club), namely, hypothyroidism (recently diagnosed), being in her fifties (a little tougher at fifty but we're still very adaptable) and her endomorphic genetics, it still comes back to what she does, with what she's got, where she's at. As I've said many times on this site, getting in shape ain't determined by genetics but rather, genetic management - what we do with our genetics. Neither is it determined by our age but rather, what we do at our age.

So what can we conclude from the above thoughts and observations?

No matter who we are, where we are, what we know or what we have, one of the biggest practical challenges that you and I will ever have down here on the big blue ball is managing our physical selves. And I'm not just talking about weight-loss, I'm talking about maximising this incredible, irreplaceable resource, that you and I will walk around in for eighty years or so. It's crucial that we understand what a multi-dimensional process creating lasting physical change is and that in many ways, our physical selves (what shape we're in) is merely a by-product of what's happening in that thing on top of our shoulders. I guess we could conclude that being wealthy, intelligent, motivated, successful (in other areas) and having limitless resources at our disposal doesn't necessarily equate to success; that is, permanent weight-loss. Sure, having your own Chef (Art Smith), Trainer (Bob Greene), Psychologist (Dr. Phil), Spiritual Advisor (Ekhart Tolle) and Doctor (Dr. Oz), on call might be kinda cool (as Oprah does), but clearly it doesn't guarantee success because ultimately weight loss always comes down to the decisions and behaviours of the individual - even a rich, intelligent and well-equipped individual.

Even Oprah.

I'm sure you have some thoughts, feel free to share them. If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.

Ciao x

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Friday, March 6, 2009

Another Reader Question; Dealing with Grief.

Yep, I know this is up early...

I recently started to answer some of your questions in the form of daily posts. The concept has proven to be very well received, so I thought I'd keep the ball rolling as long as there's interest. Here's another question from one of our class; Lauren. Lauren's letter is in blue and my thoughts are in black. It's long, you may wanna get comfortable.

Hi Craig

My name is Lauren, Hi Lauren I'm a daily reader of your website okay, I like you then and was hoping you could help with something. I'll give it a shot. GRIEF - how to keep moving on with life when some of the most important things and people are taken away? Yep, that's a biggie. Something we all have to deal with on our journey, but none of us are 'trained' for. When it comes to the reality of grief, everybody is unprepared - especially the first time we deal with something monumental and life-changing, like you have. The fact that you may feel lost, desperate and even out of control at times, puts you in the 'normal' group. The theory of dealing with grief and the reality of it are completely different things; one's mostly cerebral, the other, mostly emotional.

3 months ago I lost my aunty to ovarian cancer after only an 11 month battle with the disease. Sorry to hear that - Craig hug for you. She was my best friend and like a mother to me and my 2 little children. While grief is both an interesting and painful part of the human experience, it can also be something that teaches us, changes us and shapes us. But... when it comes to the practical reality of dealing with it (where you are right now), we sometimes find that all the theory (of how we should process, manage and deal with our grief), is of little or no value because we're in a completely emotional place and we don't have any inclination to be strategic, logical or practical about what's happening, or has happened, in our world. For a while anyway. The good news is that you are doing something Lauren; you're being proactive, you're making contact with me, you're sharing your thoughts and feelings, you're communicating in a constructive manner and you're seeking to move into a more positive place. All good things. Well done.

11 months may seem like a long time but it feels like by the time she was diagnosed we never had any time to deal with it and then she was suddenly gone. Over that 11 months I also dealt with verbal and emotional abuse from my husband, his alcohol problem, the breakdown of my marriage, I became a single mum and lost my home, severe endometriosis, blah blah - shit happens? Suck it up princess? Wow! THAT... is er, considerable. I don't blame you for feeling like crap!

I'm trying, I'm trying very hard (and I'm only 27, this shouldn't be happening!!) Do your best to get out of the "this shouldn't be happening" mindset; it has and it is (happening). By going there (that headspace) you can find yourself heading down the self-pity road and, even though it's understandable to feel that way, it's not a direction you wanna take.

Over the same 11months I've also become a better parent, YAY... started personal training (with Darrell Spencer - I know you know him!!), a good move.... If there's anyone who can teach you about dealing with grief, it's Darrell.

*Note: I posted an article in 2007 about Darrell Spencer dealing with the tragic loss of his beautiful wife Gill. It's definitely worth a read. You can take a look... here.

at my perfect weight, well done.... finally in a great financial position and scored the job of my dreams!!! Not that life is about money or career, but they are great achievements and something to be quietly proud of. Sometimes - even when we're struggling - we need to consciously 'find the good' in our world, lest we become morose and a captive of our negative emotions. If you struggle to be 'up' for you, focus on your kids. Be their inspiration and strength.

BUT every night I still cry myself to sleep because I so desperately want my aunty back and don't know how to live my life without her in it. You are living it, you're just not enjoying it. Lauren, your Aunty sounds like she was an amazing person and while she has left your physical, three-dimensional world, her influence on your life, the lessons she taught you, the experiences you two shared, the conversations you had together and the imprint she has left on your heart is eternal. In many ways, she hasn't gone anywhere.

I was hoping you may have some thoughts on this issue especially at a time when so many people are suffering with loss and grief.

A Story

A little over a decade ago, I went through a similar experience to what you're going through now. One of my trainers (and best friends) died in his early twenties. He had no pre-existing medical condition and his tragic death was a total surprise to everyone in his world. He was my first ever employee and we were great mates who spent a great deal of time together. Every day we ate breakfast, lunch and occasionally, dinner together. We worked side by side on the gym floor and he was my right-hand man. One day I received a phone call telling me that he was in hospital, specifically, in the Intensive Care Unit in a coma. He died a few days later.

What To Do?

At the time of Matty's death, I had eight employees, several hundred clients and a business that operated about ninety hours per week. I didn't really know what to do. I had no real experience at grieving and it wasn't one of my 'life skills'. Should I close the gym for a day, a week, or not at all? I was numb, confused and of course, sad. The day of the funeral, my staff and I turned up to work as usual, trained our clients for a few hours and then shut the doors for a half day. An hour later I was carrying my friends coffin, speaking at his funeral and just trying to get through it all. I was on auto-pilot and it was a surreal experience for me. A few hours later, my staff and I were back at the gym doing our best to inspire our clients. Of course we didn't really feel inspired. At all. But at that time, in that situation, I wanted to be distracted, so did my staff, so we chose to work. I wanted my attention to be somewhere other than the reality of the day. I did what I needed to do to get through that moment. And the following weeks and months. It's been fourteen years this year and I still think of him often and still miss him. I still remember specific conversations and even as I write this sentence I can still feel the very real emotion.

No Universal Solution

That experience taught me that there is no single or 'best' way to deal with grief. And for the most part (with one or two exceptions), there is no right or wrong - only different ways. For some people, talking about that person only brings about more pain, while for others it's healing. Of course there are recommendations, guidelines and numerous resources, but at the end of the day, it still comes down to what will work for the individual. However, I do believe an important part of the grieving process is that we consciously choose to celebrate that person's life, rather than mourn their death.

What Worked for Me

While I did many things along the road to healing from Matty's death, two key things proved to be valuable for me... The first thing was to talk about him often, and not in a morbid way, but in a positive and fun way; it helped me a lot. And the second is less conventional but proved to be very meaningful and valuable for me - I had a piece of jewellery made called a slave bracelet, on it are Matty's and my initials. It has no clasp (to take it on and off) and is screwed onto the wrist by the jeweller when you pick it up. It has been on my wrist for thirteen years and has never been off once. Those who know me well, know that I am not a jewellery guy at all; I own zero jewellery other than my Matty bracelet. I wear it because it reminds me of him, it's meaningful to me and it provides me with a level of comfort - not sure why, just does. See Lauren... there's no universal grieving formula.

Letting Go

I arrived at a point where I chose to let go of my grief. And no, I didn't let go of my friend or his memory, but I let go of the emotional pain. While it was a symbolic 'letting go', in many ways it was completely real and transformational because the moment I made that conscious decision to let go of the hurt, things improved dramatically for me. I still had the great memories but without the same level of pain. In fact, the pain was gradually replaced with joy. Keep in mind Lauren that while grief can be triggered by certain situations and events, it can only be maintained by us.

Not sure if that was at all helpful Lauren, but I hope so.

Thanks, Lozz

You're welcome x

Love to hear you thoughts and possibly a (brief) story or two. If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.

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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Beyond Self-Help; Selfless Help

An Imperfect Science

Like any organisation, service, product or concept that has been created by humans, the field of self-help - or as some like to call it, the 'science of self-improvement' - is flawed. No biggie there. Of course it's not perfect because 'we' created it, and it makes complete sense to say that an imperfect creator can't produce perf

ection. While the ever-expanding world of self-help and all it's associated products, programs, resources and services has served and continues to serve a purpose (the overall value of that purpose is up for discussion and debate), it might be fair to say that we've never had more dysfunctional people, a more dysfunctional society, a more dysfunctional (unhealthy) environment or in truth, a more dysfunctional world than we do right now. Is this just some inflammatory angle I'm taking just to evoke emotion? Nope, it's merely my observation and opinion. Take a peek around your immediate world and you might see more obesity, more debt, more loneliness, more people in therapy and more marital breakdowns than you've ever seen before. If not more, then certainly no less - despite our ever-increasing knowledge, understanding, awareness, resources and technology. And our glut of self-help offerings. Dare to take a broader (global) look and you'll probably see just as much poverty, starvation, violence, war, misery and unnecessary deaths as we've ever had at any time in our history. Perhaps more.

Why Personal Development is not 'the' Answer.

People (that is, you and I) are the answer to our numerous challenges (both individually and globally) and personal development resources (such as this one) are just that; resources. Whether those resources prove to be valuable or not, depends on what we do with them. That's why Gandhi said "be the change you want to see in your world" and not "buy my set of CD's and book into my workshop!" Creating your best life (situation, relationship, health, career) will always come back to you; what you do and don't do - the decisions you make, the action you take. You and you alone will determine success or failure in your world. Don't misinterpret what I'm saying here... of course there are many factors and variables which will influence and impact on the change process, our personal growth journey, our real-life experiences and the type of results we produce in our world, but without doubt, the biggest determinant of success or failure, joy or pain, growth or stagnation is us - what we do with what we've been given.

Knowledge + Understanding + Application + Consistency = Change.

And no, I'm not saying that books, CD's, DVD's, Websites (thankfully) and the ever-expanding range of programs are of no value as we attempt to create 'new and improved us', I'm saying that they are as useful (or as useless) as we make them. That's why some people have been visiting my site religiously for two years, reading every word and even quoting me, with very little change in their reality, because transformation ain't about what we know, it's about what we consistently apply. Far too may of us live the stop-start life and have been doing so for years. Doing, not doing. Applying, not applying. On track, on the couch. In the zone, out of control. In shape, out of shape. Fit, fat.

Irony?

The direction this conversation has taken might seem somewhat ironic coming from a personal development bloke, it's not; it's honest. Personal development resources can play an important role in our transformation but they can't be the change, only we can. That's why some people will come along to our RYL weekend and subsequently see amazing change in their world, and others not. I can tell people what to do, why to do it, when to do it and how to do it... but the only person I can change is me. I can influence (coach, encourage, educate, support) people, but I can't actually change one person. And for the people who do see amazing transformation post-RYL, it will be because of what they do, not what I say. I can be a catalyst but I can't be the change for anyone but me. In sport, the coach can coach her ass off but she can't actually score a point, or win (or lose) the game, because she doesn't actually play.

Personal Development Pitfalls

Having said that personal development can be a valuable part of the journey, there are a few caveats; things I want to throw in for your consideration...

1. Some personal development resources will never lead to genuine happiness, contentment or fulfillment because they are completely self-focused, or even, self-obsessed. I believe that some resources (I won't name them) actually contribute to the dysfunction because their overall philosophy is grounded in a false truth; that happiness is (in some way) dependant on the accumulation of assets - he who dies with the most toys wins. Much (if not, all) of their philosophy is geared around 'getting' and the gratifying of self. The ridiculous number of get-rich books on the shelves in book stores is testament to this. Our dysfunctional society has never been more obsessed with the material, the physical and all things external. Having said that, I do believe we are beginning to see something of a shift and a gradual awakening of the collective consciousness (as Ekhart would say). Keep in mind that there's a big chasm between being self-aware (good) and self-ish (blah). It's my belief that personal development should, among other things, empower us to become more self-aware, more self-less, more conscious (in our thoughts, choices and behaviours) and more humble in the way we live. While it's great to consciously and proactively work at becoming a better 'version' of us, there's also a danger that in the process, we can become overly-analytical, over-thinking, self-obsessed, materialistic perfectionists. And that ain't healthy or productive. More enlightened writers and teachers advocate a more selfless, philanthropic and loving approach to personal transformation. More spiritual perhaps. And no, this is not some feel-good, fluffy, mumbo-jumbo; it's actually a powerful and relevant message because we're all much more than a mind, a body and a bank account. And yes, it's still okay to become wildly successful in a commercial sense (if that's one of your goals), as long as what you own (your assets) and what you do (your career), doesn't become your identity (who you are).

2. It can be expensive. No shit Sherlock. Some personal development resources are very expensive which is not to say that they are not necessarily good value, but we must be wise and discerning about how and where we invest our time, energy and hard-earned. The four thousand dollar program may not be four times better than the one thousand dollar program. May not even be as good. When you do invest, make sure you maximise that investment by consistently acting on what you learn. BTW, sometimes a twenty dollar book will prove to be more transformational than the squillion dollar program. And then there's those free websites....

3. Guru worship. Don't join a cult. Some people actually deify their favourite teachers and authors and that's unhealthy for everyone; the teacher and the student. In doing this, the students actually empower the teacher and disempower themselves. Listen to and learn from others, but have your own thoughts, ideas and values, be your own person and make your own choices. It's great to value and respect a teacher (if he or she has earned that respect) but don't become a self-help parrot or a clone of someone else. Be you. In terms of my teaching, I always suggest that people read what I write, consider it, see if it resonates for them, and if it does, apply it. If it doesn't, ignore it. Simple. If you like my site and consider it to be a valuable resource, tell people about it. If not, don't. For you, I'm a resource (if you choose), not an answer. You're the answer. And occasionally, the problem.

The Last Bit...

Like most of you, I'm both a teacher and a student (we're all teachers on some level). In fact if I had to label myself, I'd say I'm more of a student. And like you, I'm still trying to figure it all out. Always will be. As much as I teach, I spend even more time learning. I am constantly asking, seeking, listening and exploring. Of what there is to know, I know almost nothing. That's both humbling and incredibly exciting. One crucial lesson I have learned over the last few years is the importance of giving; selfless-help as opposed to self-help. Time and time again I have witnessed the transformational power of no-strings-attached kindness, love and generosity; people who have transformed their own lives by investing into the lives of others. Food for thought.

Enjoy your day and be the change.

Love to hear your thoughts. If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.

Ciao x

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Tuesday, March 3, 2009

A New Section on the Site and Our RYL Winner.

Hello Grasshoppers.

No lesson (as such) today as my Monday was somewhat manic. However, I do have a few interesting bits and pieces for you...

Me on TV

My boy Johnny has assembled a nice little selection of some of my more recent TV segments on the Ten Network for your perusal, edification

and enjoyment. You will notice a new menu option near the picture of my boof head (top left) creatively titled "Craig on TV" - Johnny came up with that all by himself. The segments are a mix of health/fitness stuff and personal development stuff. They are tasty little bite-size installments (5-8 minutes), low GI, easy to chew and digest and shouldn't give you heart burn - and you won't lose half your day watching them. Unless of course, you watch them all back to back. Hmm, good point. Anyways... it means that today you can listen to and watch a lesson (or fifteen), rather than read one. Bonus. Let me know what you think and if you find them a valuable addition to our class room. You can take a look here.

Our RYL Winner

Over the last few weeks we have run a competition with a place in our May RYL Program (including airfares) up for grabs. We asked people to share why they would be a great candidate to be involved in a program such as this. We had a bunch of touching entries and of course I'm gonna say that plenty of people could have been chosen (which is true) but the reality is we could only choose one... and this time that person is Amy. Here's her entry.

Hi Craig,

I read your post today and I would love the opportunity to come to the Renovate Your Life workshop. Could you pass my message on to the lady offering the placement please? First of all, thank you for presenting this opportunity to everyone. It's a quietly gracious act, which is a beautiful thing.

I would like to go to the workshop. I've been overweight and shy since childhood and only recently realised that I developed a sort of protective camouflage against the world around me. I keep my head down and stay out of trouble. I go along with what other people want, because it's not worth arguing about. I don't make waves. I've programmed myself to stop wanting things. It's like a little switch in my head which automatically re-directs all the dreams and possibilities and wants into the "too hard, you don't deserve it, you can't do it" pile. It tells me that the things I want to do and be are too difficult for a fat, under-educated drone and I should just stick to a safe, mediocre job and routine. I can see where these patterns started, but I don't know how to stop/change them.

I want to change.

Last year I read Craig's book "Fattitude". That year, for the first time since I was born, my weight went down instead of up. It was only ten kilos. It's not much, but I did it myself. I didn't think I could do anything like that - I can't even begin to explain what an effect that had on me. I suddenly had the power to change something that I had thought of as a constant in my life - it was like being able to change the colour of the sky. I want to see what else Craig can teach me.

I can't afford to get to Melbourne and to the workshop. I shouldn't even take the time off work. I'm probably going to end up unemployed soon. I'm also currently supporting my best friend - she's living with me because she had nowhere else to go and can't work (illness) at the moment. The money's tight, but I wouldn't miss having her around for anything. I don't have any major sob stories. I haven't had any major illnesses to overcome, I don't have a messy divorce and six kids in my recent past, I haven't declared bankruptcy over a broken business. What I have is an overwhelming feeling that I'm turning invisible and fading away in my own life.

I'm not even sure if a motivational workshop will help me. But I need to get my head right if I want to grow past where I am now. I've been stuck in the same place for nearly a decade now. I want to try to change.

Thank you for the chance,

Amy

You're very welcome Amy and I look forward to meeting you, hugging you and spending a weekend with you.

Finally...

Before I sign off today, I just want to acknowledge the response to yesterday's article. It was very humbling and gratifying for me. While my post was in no way intended to be a fishing expedition, I will say that I was mildly overwhelmed (can you be mildly overwhelmed?) by the level of support shown for what we're doing and creating here at me-dot-com, and for my writing. Thankyou. I've said several times that it is my goal to create the best free online personal development resource in the world. Of course I don't know if we'll get there, but if we don't it won't be for lack of endeavour or commitment. By the way, I don't care if you never spend a cent here at me-dot-com or if you never attend one of my workshops or programs, you will always be welcome and your place in my classroom will never be conditional upon any kind of financial support. No tricks, no agenda and no fibs. Trust me, there are much more effective (and easier) ways to make money than a blog!!

As always, feel free to share your comments by clicking on the comment thingy. If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.

Ciao x

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Monday, March 2, 2009

A Little Criticism For CHDC...

I was wondering what I might write about today when I happened across an interesting comment regarding my last post. Here's the un-edited comment, exactly as it arrived at me-dot-com...

Hiya Craig,

Quick bit of constructive critisism if I may.
I find your posts are becoming too long, rather write another book and I'll happily buy it. I don't have time to read throught the whole lot here online, I want quick tips!!

The comments are becoming to long too, maybe the people should just really take Annonymous's advice and start their own blogs or join the forum. I don't visit often any more because it's just to long! Where are the good 'olle days from a year or so ago?

Hope you don't mind my feedback, I just thought I might let you know what I feel, I might be the only one, so in that case you are welcome to ignore me :-)

cheers, Perth, WA.

Okey-doke, here are my thoughts...

1. No, I'm not offended or upset (at all), just amused and interested in your perspective. "I'm serious about personal development... as long as it's quick."

2. I find it ironic (funny almost) that a person coming to a personal development site and someone that I'm assuming is seeking to improve their reality in some way, can't find 5-6 minutes to read an article that I can find five hours to write. An article that (like all of my articles) is sent to tens of thousands of subscribers around the world every day.... for free. Not a bad deal really. At an average reading speed of 275 words per minute (a typical reading speed for adults), most of us would read the (1,692 word) article in around six minutes. A big sacrifice I know.

3. "I don't have time to read through the whole lot here online"

It's my belief that someone who is serious about learning, growing, improving and creating better results in their world would be able to find six minutes in a day that provides 1,440 of them. Minutes, that is.

4. "I find your posts are becoming too long.... I want quick tips"

Aaah, I could say so many things. While I respect your feedback and appreciate your honesty, I hope you will respect and appreciate mine. Firstly, I won't be writing to a set number of words or a pre-determined formula; some posts will be longer, some shorter. It's my belief that the potential value of an article to my readers doesn't lie in the length but rather, the content. Some messages demand more attention. Secondly, I'm not the "quick tip" guy, I'm a teacher, coach and writer and not interested in getting people pumped for five minutes - I'm interested in genuine, inside-out transformation; life-long change.

"I don't visit often any more because it's (that is, my writing) just too long."

Thirdly, not visiting a site because the writer takes the time to explore subjects in depth is a mistake (I believe) and perhaps you not wanting to find the necessary six minutes in your day says more about your mindset and priorities, than it does about the length of my articles. Just a thought.

5. "The comments are becoming too long"

If you don't like the long comments, don't read them. I mean that politely and genuinely. As long as the comments are on topic, not self-indulgent, not a form of social networking with other readers, not offensive and hopefully add value to the discussion in some way, I'm okay with them.

In Conclusion...

In responding to this comment, I am in no way intending to bitch or be critical of the commentor; I genuinely respect his/her honesty and thoughts and don't believe them to be malicious at all. However, I will say that as someone who invests more physical, emotional and creative energy (and significant time) into my articles than most people would ever imagine, I get a little sick of some people's propensity to fault-find when there is so much 'good' to take away from what we're doing (and trying to do) here in this humble little cyber-classroom we call craigharper.com.

Please don't cyber-bash our commentor (not what we're about) but as always, like you to hear your thoughts. If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.

*Note: FYI, this article is comprised of 727 words, not including this sentence. Or this one. I guess that adds up to about a three-minute investment of your time. But feel free not to read this sentence because I'm not really saying anything much. But then, maybe I am? And whatever you do, definitely don't read this one. Stop it. You have issues.

Sorry. Couldn't help m'self.

Bad Craig

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