This site is the website of motivational speaker Craig Harper. A constantly updated, one-stop information, inspiration, education and motivation station. Unlike many similar sites, it is a totally free resource for anyone who is serious about moving from mediocre to amazing in any area of their personal or professional life. With hundreds of articles covering a wide range of subject matter, great interviews with cool people and inspirational video posts, there's more than enough brain-food to keep you busy for hours. Okay, days!! Enjoy.
Click play above
to
see one of Craig's weekly segments on national
television. (9AM with Kim & David - Network Ten)
Online
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privately coached by Craig click here.
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Biological Age Testing
Recently, 67 year old Jan Frazer completed one of
our biological age tests only to discover she has
the body of a 37 year old (in terms of fitness,
strength and function). How old is your body? Find
out here.
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Nutrition
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nutritional experts confuse people with their jargon
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Fattitude
- Craig Harper
While many books focus on food,
Craig teaches that creating life-long change is more about the
dieter, than the actual diet. This book is perfect for people who have a
history of 'almost' getting in shape.
DVD
or CD - Renovate Your Body In this entertaining presentation, Craig discusses the
notion of Renovating Your Body - once and for all. Many of us have a curious
ability to be able to get in shape for events (weddings, parties, reunions
and birthdays), if only we'd get in shape for life.
Craig Harper is Australia's leading
motivational speaker
and educator (according to Google Australia). He is a highly
sought-after corporate coach and is considered to be
a leader and pioneer in the areas of personal and
professional development.
Working with hundreds of
teams, companies and a wide variety of organisations
on numerous continents over the last twenty years
has given Craig a unique insight into, and
understanding of, human performance and all its
variables. Craig has an ability to educate, inspire,
challenge and make people laugh all at the same
time!
Well, we've done it. You and I have survived another year here at me-dot-com. Who would have thought that the ex-bouncer and attention-seeking ex-fat kid with limited ability, a propensity to digress and the tact of a sledgehammer could actually keep anyone's attention for more than five minutes. Well amazingly, I have. In two years we've gone from zero readers to almost 100,000 per week, been read in over one hundred countries, had articles translated into numerous languages, made five thousand mistakes along the way, offended a few people, inspired a few people and had a shit-load of fun doing it all. Johnny (web-guru-dude) and I have loved every minute of it. Okay, most minutes.
Thanks
Now you know that I'm not one for the lame-ass insincere, superficial slop and fluff so I'll avoid that, but I will take this opportunity to thank all of you for helping me to become a better writer, coach and teacher in 2008. You keep me on my toes. I have worked incredibly hard this year to become a better version of me, in part so that I might help you to become the new-and-improved version of you. Your encouragement, support, feedback and cyber-love has given me tremendous drive, confidence and reason to keep doing what I do here. Your comments and emails help me stay motivated and focused to keep doing my best to produce not only the quantity, but also the quality of content appropriate for a resource such as this. Being the only writer (many sites like this have several contributors) is often exhausting but overall, very satisfying and worthwhile. The fact that I still have so much to learn as a writer and teacher keeps me hungry, passionate, excited and driven and I look forward to growing with you in 2009.
Live, Laugh, Love and Learn
As objective as I can be about my own site, I genuinely feel that we (and I mean we) have created something special here; an online classroom and community of people who (for the most part) genuinely want to live, laugh, love and learn (our mission statement). A place where we can all hang out, interact, share, observe, peek into the lives of others and be part of something bigger than us. Not better, bigger. Just because most of us haven't physically met doesn't mean that we don't have a relationship, doesn't mean we can't care, doesn't mean we can't impact the lives of others and doesn't mean we can't connect in a real way. I have some great relationships with people who I've never met (physically) but as you and I know, meeting someone in the flesh doesn't necessarily mean you're meeting them at all. Sometimes reality has very little to do with the physical world. Sorry, I digress.
Anyway you Crazy Kids, my wish for you and your family is a happy, safe and peaceful Christmas and New Year. While I'm up in the sleepy hollow of Latrobe Valley consuming my own bodyweight in Christmas calories at Ron and Mary's place, I'll be thinking of you. A little.
If there's ever a time when we incredibly cerebral beings have a tendency to over-think, over-analyse, over-complicate and over-react, it's Christmas. Specifically, Christmas day. We make the easy, hard and the simple, complicated. People do weird things on this day. Oh yes, you know what I mean; remember that thing last time with your mother (dad, sister, brother, husband, wife, etc.). While Christmas day should/could be a time of cheer, celebration, connection and care (like any day, if we choose to make it such), for some of us it has (unnecessarily) become one of the most stressful, emotional and at times, sad days of the year. Why? Because that's what we create. Our internal reality becomes our external reality; the theory becomes our practical experience. We make it happen. We create misery. We expect a bad day and we get it. We talk ourselves into anxiety and stress. We believe that a positive or negative experience is all about 'the day' when in reality, it's all about us in that day; how we think, cope, react, communicate and behave. This is just another example of our mind getting in the way of our potential. Our potential for fun, happiness, joy and connection.
Misery is a Mindset
"But Craig, you don't understand my situation, circumstance, family or history." Well, I do understand one thing; the only thing you can really change (control, manage) is you. So you best learn to do that effectively, or you could be in for some pretty ordinary times. Misery is a mindset, not an external reality. And no, I'm not for one moment suggesting that we don't have real issues, problems, challenges and even tragedies to deal with, but what I am saying is that those things don't need to dictate our internal experience or determine our emotional state. One of my friends who is battling cancer (hugs for you Michelle) will have a good Christmas day this year because she's committed to that, just as some people are committed to their misery, their self-pity, their resentment and their anger.
It Ain't About the Calendar
How could a day on the calendar (which this year happens to be a Thursday) possibly determine whether we have a good or bad day? It can't. But you and I can. Because of our insecurity, our over-sensitivity and our fear (of a bunch of things), some of us misinterpret situations, circumstances, conversations and other people and we look for reasons to get hurt. Some people go into the day with a negative mindset. "I hate Christmas day", I've heard plenty of people say recently. You've heard them too. You might even be them! I always ask, "how can you hate a day?" When we de-emotionalise and de-construct that sentence, we begin to realise how irrational, self-pitying, destructive and stupid that mindset is. Who or what determines a good or bad day? You and I. Unless we hand over that power to someone or something else.
So if, in the next few days, you find yourself slipping into a little Christmas negativity, come over to my place and I'll slap you.
Ciao xx * If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.
Hello Grasshoppers. No lesson as such today, just a few observations and a little thinking out loud by me. Hope you're enjoying your Monday and choosing to be the calm in the middle of the Christmaschaos. I am writing this post late Sunday night.
The Remedial Christmas Shopper
Just got back from the shopping centre (mall) and it's official; I am without doubt, the world's worst exponent of the Christmas purchase. Yep, when it comes to shopping (for anything other than motorbikes, food and gym equipment), I am completely shit. So I just bought my mother a new Harley, some dumbbells and a cheesecake for Christmas. Just kidding. I know I shouldn't talk myself down but to be honest, I have no desire to be a good Christmas shopper. So it matters not. I have no shopping strategy, no enthusiasm for the task at hand, very little in the way of retail skills and a definite attitude problem. I am a retail moron. In two hours of shopping, I purchased absolutely nothing. Not one thing. Nada. Nought. Zippo. Butkus.
A Shopping Frenzy
I did, however, delight in watching thousands of people work themselves into a festive shopping frenzy. I do get distracted so easily. At one stage, I spent five minutes watching a thirty-something couple argue about presents for their family and eventually, she walked off and left him by himself in the store. I laughed my ass off. I also watched hundreds of people ignore and walk around an old man (with dementia) who was obviously distressed because he was lost (I spent ten minutes helping him find his very grateful daughter). I also watched a mother pull her son's ear so hard that I thought she might actually detach it from his head. I felt like pulling her ear but thought that perhaps I may have been charged with something. So I poked her in the eye instead. Well, I wanted to. And I won't even discuss the verbal abuse that transpired in the car park. Oops, I just did. Aaah, the joy of Christmas. Warms your heart doesn't it?
Mandatory Giving
While I do love to give gifts, I'm not really a big fan of mandatory giving on a designated date. It's all a little manufactured, robotic and commercial for me. I prefer the concept of spontaneous, random and unexpected giving - to people who actually need stuff. When I'm boss of the world, I'll do something about it but until then, excessive and unnecessary presents it shall be! The truth is that at this time of the year we spend obscene amounts of money on crap that people don't want, don't need, don't appreciate and will probably never use. On some level, we feel obligated to buy something because apparently that's the rule; how we've been programmed in our culture. Imagine if we did something collectively magnanimous... like if the two billion of us who don't live in poverty all bought something for the four billion who do. Nah, you're right; too hard. Another Xbox anyone? And because many of us (okay, mainly blokes) leave it to the last minute, we tend to waste even more money and make even worse decisions because we're on a time budget, we're disorganised, we're lazy and we gotta buy something in the next hour!
Give it to Someone Who Needs it.
I tell all of my friends not to buy me anything. At all. I don't need anything. Not unless they can buy me some gift-wrapped enlightenment, consciousness or wisdom from a department store. I tell them to either keep the money or to give what they would have spent on me to someone who genuinely needs it. That would make for a meaningful gesture and be a gift which is in keeping with what this time of year should be about. In my (often unpopular) opinion.
Shopping Centre Chaos
As you might expect on the Sunday before Christmas, the afore-mentioned shopping centre was complete chaos today; a sea of frenetic humanity. If not for the fact that I might get assaulted or kicked out by security, I'd love to take a video camera and film people doing what they do. Shopping centres at this time of the year are indeed a fascinating study in human behaviour. People change. Normal people become abnormal. Small, frail women become intimidating, focused and aggressive psychopaths, while big strong alpha-males become pathetic, confused and inept dweebs. And by Christmas Eve, most shop assistants have been turned into personality-less, exhausted retail zombies.
So I guess the question for me this year is, do I conform and shop till I drop, or do I tell my friends and family that they are getting nada from me but they have unknowingly fed and clothed a very grateful family in Southern Sudan?
I'll let you know what I decide.
* If you're not sure how to leave a comment, clickhere.
If you're a regular visitor here at me-dot-com then you would know that I'm not a fan of the traditional New Year's Resolution. As a rule, they rarely lead to long-term change. Each year about four million Aussies (twenty percent of the population) start a diet on January 1, all with the same objective - to lose their (excess) weight and fat forever. Both scientific research and those things behind our eyelids will tell us that (1) most people will maintain their new behaviours for less than a fortnight (some, less than a day!) (2) very few people will lose the desired weight/fat (achieve what they set out to) and (3) even fewer will keep it off (less than two percent).
Mastering the Mind
Do these people actually have the potential to lose the weight and keep it off? The vast majority, yes. Will they? Probably not. Why not? A range of reasons, but the common denominator is that in some way their psychology will get in the way of (limit, handicap, sabotage) their physiology. They simply stop doing what they started. Great at starting, crap at persevering and ultimately getting the job done. Their mind is the problem and their body is the consequence. For many of us, the external is merely a reflection of the internal. This is the point of the lesson where you can be enlightened or offended; it's a choice. For the majority, obesity is a symptom (physical consequence) of underlying emotional and psychological issues. Master the mind and you'll master the body. In order to create different, we need to do different, yet far too many of us are creatures of habit and repetition. If we take the same mindset into the weight-loss process (the one that didn't work the last fifty times), then we'll produce the same result; failure.
Not Just Another Resolution
If you're goal is to change your behaviour for a week or three, lose and regain some weight, get even more frustrated than you are now and to continue on with the stop-start cycle you've been on for years, then another traditional New Year's Resolution is exactly what you need. However, if you would like your next weight-loss (health/fitness/lifestyle/diet) resolution to be your last, you might want to pay attention to (and implement) the following advice.....
1. Don't try to change fifty things at once. The more things you try to change in a short time frame, the less likely you are to change anything over the long term. Life ain't a hundred metre sprint and changing your life (body, thinking, habits, diet) ain't a two week process. Pace yourself and don't try to undo ten (twenty, thirty, forty) years of less-than-desirable habits, behaviours and results by next Tuesday.
2. Don't make stupid resolutions. Blokes are champions of the ridiculous. Stop letting your big fat ego get in the way of your brain. Set goals which are logical, practical and maintainable. Not everything is a competition, not everything needs to be hard core to be effective and sometimes what you need to do (to create forever results) will not be what you want to do.
3. Create an accountability system. Once the excitement, the motivation and the initial momentum subside (and they will), what will keep you doing what you need to do, to create the change you want to see in your world? What will keep you committed and proactive while others are throwing in the towel? Why will it be different for you this time? Why will this be your last resolution (of this kind)? If you don't know, you better find out fast.
4. Remember what you did last time? Don't do that again!! Same produces same. Yes we are creatures of habit and repetition; we do what's comfortable and familiar - even when it doesn't work. Don't do what's comfortable, do what works.
5. Work in four week blocks. Here's my practical tip for the day. In my experience (working with people to change outcomes in their world), the four week time frame is long enough to produce significant practical change but also short enough for us to stay focused, motivated and in the game emotionally. Of course we're all about creating big picture results and long-term change but breaking the big process down into a series of twenty eight day game plans seems to work for most people.
6. Weigh up the cost. For some people, the 'idea' of change is far more appealing than the practical, physical process. That is, the theory is far easier than the reality. I've met many people who simply don't want it enough (whatever it is). In fact, what often determines success or failure is the 'want' factor; a person's level of drive, desire and commitment. Everything in life has a price (money, time, emotion, physical energy, pain, discomfort, risk), you need to decide if you're willing to do what needs to be done (to pay the price), to achieve what you want to achieve. And as I've said too many times on this site, if you want to create exceptional outcomes, then you must be prepared to do exceptional things.
Okay, get busy.
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Well, the Fat Man Cometh in just eight days(eth) and I gotta say, I've been a very good boy so I'm expecting big things from the endomorph in the red suit this time around. Sure he's let me down in recent years, but this year I've been a perfect little blogger so the Big Bloke better cough up. If he knows what's good for him. "Dear Santa, I know where you live, I love reindeer steaks, I have satellite navigation and I'm not afraid to use it - once I figure out how it works". After all, this time of year is all about the presents and who am I to challenge tradition or to deprive someone of the gift of giving? To me. Being the needy, attention-seeking, single, dysfunctional only child with too many issues to mention, it's very important that my fragile self esteem gets a boost, which is why I'm giving the Fat Toy Maker an opportunity to make this (not so) little and lonely boy, very happy by showering him (er, me) with cool stuff.
Sans Lesson
As you may have guessed, no life-changing lesson today (although technically a lesson can't change anyone), just some random and unnecessary silly-ness, a news report and a me-dot-com update of sorts...
New Promo Video
As a professional speaker, companies (potential clients) and speaking agencies are always requesting a 'show reel' (a brief video snapshot) of me doing what I do. Kind of like having a spray of a perfume or after-shave before you commit to the fragrance. Or don't commit as the case may be. Anyway, over the last month or so, my media-techno-editing-sound-genius guy Chris, has been putting together a new show reel for Johnny to send out to enquirers and potential clients. You can take a peek at what Chris has put together by clicking on the video at top right of the home page. To be honest, it kinda makes me a little uncomfortable to watch but keep in mind that that's what a show reel like this is meant to be; a montage of me. Good grief. Let me know if you think it's (1) cheesey (2) horrible (3) okay (4) good (5) other...
A Payment Plan for RYL
We have received a bunch of emails and phone calls from people who want to come along to our RYL in May but need more time to organise their finances. Several people have enquired about the idea of us offering a payment scheme whereby a series of monthly payments can be made instead of a one-off payment. Always happy to oblige, Johnny has set it up as a booking and payment option. You can learn more about that here (you will need to scroll down the page a little). By the way, at our current rate of bookings, the program will probably be fully booked (one hundred places) by about late January. Perhaps earlier. As I write this, we have thirty eight people booked and paid in full.
Book Winners from Monday's Post
So on Monday you were asked to share a little of your personal motivation with the rest of us. I said that I would give away a few signed copies of Fattitude for the three sayings, quotes, mantras (etc.) I like the most. Yes, they were all good and yes, it's a completely subjective thing but here are my three faves anyway...
"The effort you make in trying to solve a problem is often worth more than obtaining the answer." (from Carol Jasenko) I like this because the journey (not the destination) is where we grow, learn, adapt, change and improve. Invariably the destination will let us down and disappoint, but the journey will transform us.
"If you don't take care of your body, where are you going to live"? (from Di) This is self explanatory, simple and so true. Yet, so over-looked. I love this quote.
"Be yourself because everybody else is taken" (from Sue) In a world where everyone is trying to find themselves, we need to start looking in the right place; within. The only person you can ever be is you, so stop wasting your time trying to become something or someone you're not. Rather, become a better version of YOU.
Well done to Carol, Di and Sue. You three need to email your details to us via the site so the Bald Man can send you each a little Christmas present. Ho, ho, ho.
A Holiday for Me
So the blogoholic is going to crawl into his cyber-cave for a brief sabbatical from the blogosphere over the hols. That's right, I will be hanging up my keyboard (temporarily) and heading to the beach house from Wednesday, December 24 (last post on that day) and I'll be back on deck blogging my little ass off from Monday, January 5. That means a Craig-free Christmas for you! Phew.
Okey doke, that's about it for another day. Feel free to share a comment, thought, idea or even some feedback on the cheesey show reel. Enjoy your Thursday Groovers and while everyone else is succumbing to the (self-induced) Christmas chaos, choose to be the calm in the middle of the storm.
* If you're not sure how to leave a comment, clickhere.
Off the back of yesterday's post, I had a bunch of people (okay, maybe ten) say to me that if it was them who had the conversation with dear old Marj (my buddy from the plane), they probably would have been hurt and offended by what she had to say. My response was "really?" It didn't even occur to me that she was being offensive - because she wasn't (to me). Neither did I realise that perhaps I should have been emotionally scarred by her comments (Craig the removalist). I honestly didn't feel offended for even one nanosecond. I simply found her perspective and thoughts to be fascinating, honest and refreshing. Hilarious even. I love to see how others see (if you know what I mean). Call it field research. The world is my class room, life is my teacher and yesterday Marj taught me not to take myself too seriously and that my reality is only my reality. Oh yeah... and that I'm not built like a writer. And that wearing a me-dot-com shirt is vain. Too funny.
The Gap Between Interesting and Offensive
Isn't it interesting to know that my fascinating and interesting can be someone else's offensive and hurtful; what will amuse me, will hurt someone else's feelings? If things only have the meaning we give them (and they do), then surely a comment, reaction, behaviour or opinion from someone else can only be offensive to us if we let it be. Right? So that would make getting offended (or not getting offended) something that we can control, wouldn't it? Maybe even a choice (with practice)? Surely getting offended isn't really about what people say or do, but about how we interpret, process and react to those events and words. Of course some words will be more likely to offend, but a positive, negative or neutral response still comes down to individual interpretation and reaction.
Unreal Reality
In reality (the one we create in our head - there is no universal reality), you and I taking offence has very little to do with others and everything to do with us. That's why different things will offend different people; it's completely personal. We have rules and standards (consciously or not), which determine what will offend us and what won't. We also have rules about who will offend us and who won't. Have you ever noticed how you give some people much more rope (that is, choose not to get offended), while with others, (perhaps someone close to you) you have them on a very tight rein? Different rules? While some people are constantly finding new and creative ways to get hurt because on some level there's a pay-off for them (attention, sympathy, leverage), others seem to sail through life without becoming a victim every time someone looks sideways. People can only hurt us (emotionally) if we give them that permission; if we let them. And curiously, some people seem to delight in handing over that power.
I hope you're not one of them.
Ciao x
* If you're not sure how to leave a comment, clickhere.
Hello Rock Stars. Wow, what a great job you all did yesterday with the inspiration station; some pretty insightful, motivating and clever stuff there. Thanks for sharing and for giving us a little snapshot of... you. Nice. Feel free to keep adding to the list today. We will announce the winners of the books in the next day or two, so stay tuned.
So I just got back from Sydney (writing this late Monday) and boy, did I have an interesting flight. I sat next to a groovy senior citizen who clearly wasn't impressed with the whole 'Craig Harper Show'! I didn't ask her age (too scared) but I guessed her to be somewhere in the mid seventies range. Her name is Marj (short for Marjorie), she has four kids (two of each), eleven grand kids, has just spent a week in Sydney getting to know her first great grand daughter, is a widow of five years and hates flying.
For the first ten minutes of our flight to Melbourne Marj looked intently out her window and didn't seem to be enjoying the whole plane experience. At one stage she turned to me and I smiled. It seemed to snap her out of her anxiety. Momentarily. She informed me that she didn't enjoy flying at all. We started to chat and I think she was relieved to have something or someone to distract her from the impending and unavoidable plane crash.
Marj and I spoke for the best part of an hour and she totally cracked me up. Although she didn't mean to. She was hilarious without even knowing it. Dry, funny, intense, honest and sincere. Obviously I can't recall an hour of dialogue word for word (neither do we want to hear it) but I thought you might appreciate some of my 'Marj highlights':
Somewhere over New South Wales...
M: "Where do you work?" C: "Everywhere" M: "What do you do... everywhere?" C: "I speak to companies, teams, schools and all kinds of organisations" M: "About what?" C: "About how to create better results in their world" M: (trying to digest what I had said)... "and that's a job?" C: "Yep" M: "Do they pay you for that?" C: "Yep" M: "Really?" C: (laughing).. "crazy I know but yep, they pay me" M: "Do you do anything else?" C: "I write" M: (looks me up and down).. "Write what?" C: "I write for a few magazines and I've written some books" M: (looks at me with disbelief) "You have written books?" C: (more laughing) "Yep, me" M: "Does anyone read them?" C: (still laughing) "A few people" M: "You don't look like a writer" C: "Really (laughing my ass off now), what does a writer look like?" M: "Thinner and smaller than you" C: (nearly falling out of my chair) "Thinner?" M: "Yes, usually" (clearly Marj had researched writers and their body types) C: "What kind of job do I look like I should be doing Marj?" M: "A removalist" C: "A removalist?" M: "Yes you know, those men who move pianos and beds" C: "Yes, I know"
A little later....
M: "What does that mean?" (pointing to my craig-harper-dot-com shirt) C: "I have a website" M: "A what?" C: "A website" M: "I don't know what that is" C: "Well, my site is actually a Blog (stupid of me I know) which is kind of like a constantly updated on-line journal or magazine." M: (looking blankly) "What's on-line?" C: "You know, computers" M: "Oh, I hate them" C: "Okay" M: "Don't you think it's vain to have your own name on your shirt?" C: "It didn't occur to me" M: "I think it is"
A few more minutes pass by....
M: "So who reads what you write on your computer?" C: "Well, we actually have a pretty big on-line community... er readership base" M: "How many people?" C: "Nearly 100,000 readers per week" M: "No?" C: "Yep" M: "I don't believe you" (absolutely serious) C: (more laughs)
And a little later...
M: "How old are your children?" C: "I don't have any?" M: "Why not?" C: "I'm not married" M: "What's wrong with you?" C: "Plenty!" (laughing) M: (not laughing) "You're not young you know. You should hurry up!" C: "Perhaps you could introduce me to one of your daughters Marj" (smirk on my face) M: (shaking her head in the negative) "I don't think so Mr Writer" (completely serious) C: "Okay"
The last bit...
So by the time we touched down in Melbourne tonight, not only was my body back to earth but so was my ego. If I ever start to get a fat head, can somebody give Marj a call for me. Thanks.
And thanks to you Marj.
Ciao x
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Hope you enjoyed your weekend. It has been raining non-stop here in Melbourne lately and in a city which has been on water restrictions forever (seemingly), that's great news. The trees in my front yard have been clapping solidly for three days. My weekend has been kinda busy so sadly there will be no inspiration and no lesson from me today, just a little hi (hi!). I thought I'd just stop by here briefly to say G'day as I'm heading up to Wollongong for a gig this morning (actually writing this late Sunday night). I am up at 4.45 for a 7am flight to Sydney and then a 90(ish) minute drive to the Gong.
I thought that considering (1) I haven't had time to write a post over the weekend and (2) I said I would give away a few signed books before Christmas, it might be time for you to do some work and also a good opportunity for you to motivate, educate and inspire the rest of us to greatness. Or at the very least, improvement!
So what I want you to do is share a phrase, a saying, a proverb, a thought, a mantra or an expression which has been a significant part of your journey and development. Something which has helped you stay focused, disciplined and proactive. Something which has empowered you to keep your mind in the game and to create better results in your world. Do your best to avoid sharing any of those cheesey, over-used motivational sayings (you know the ones) and try not to turn it into a sermon. Having said that, I would love to hear from you - even you Lurkers who never leave the cyber-shadows. Maybe today is your day!
Johnny and I will give away three signed copies of Fattitude to the three best contributions. And yes, we will send those books anywhere in the world. Enjoy your Monday and I'll see you when I return from the Gong. Just click on the comment thingy and do your thing.
Ciao x
* If you're not sure how to leave a comment, clickhere.
Hi Guys. The following message is the result of numerous recent phone calls and emails regarding our two-day RYL program. I thought I'd save Johnny and myself some time and pen this quick message...
I have been asked many times recently, "Who will this program work for?" A better question would be, "who will work for the program?" As most of you know, I teach that programs don't change people; people change people. A program (any program) can be a catalyst for change but it can't be the change; that's your job. This program is a resource; a very powerful resource if it's used the right way. And potentially a waste of time, money and energy for anyone who is not prepared to listen, learn, unlearn, change, apply and persevere.
RYL is for people who are ready to do what's necessary to create their best life. When we begin to master our thinking, choices, reactions and behaviours, then we begin to see dramatic (real, measurable) shift in our lives. For most of us, our external, physical world is a by-product of our internal world (what's happening in that lump on top of our shoulders). We typically find that external chaos is a reflection of a level of internal chaos. If somebody comes to this program looking to be fixed, healed or cured of their crappy life (in other words, to have someone do it for them), it ain't gonna happen.
This innovative, creative and at times, confronting weekend, is for anyone who is serious about doing what needs to be done to produce positive change and better results in their world. Unlike some programs, RYL is not a back slapping, hand holding, feel good, psycho-babble, personal development fluff-fest (no surprise there). I'm not about changing your emotional state for a couple of days; I'm all about helping you to change your life forever. In terms of the big picture stuff, I don't really care about the two days (of the program); I care about the results you produce over the subsequent two decades.
While there will be plenty of fun, laughs and amazing lessons, it is also a very practical, realistic and results-focused program. All any program can do is provide you with the information, inspiration, education, motivation, feedback and direction, it's then up to you to go away, apply what you've learned and change your world. If you can make it along to RYL I know you'll have a great time and I would love the opportunity to be a small part of your journey. And possibly share some of my cheesecake with you.
Or not.
I hope to see you there
Craig ( ) *PS.. If you'd like to know more about RYL, click on the animated link above this post...
Last weekend I went to visit my folks in the country. A little fresh air, an excess of Mary's incredible food, a few (more) life lessons from Ron, another tour of the vegetable garden, numerous updates on the happenings in the thriving metropolis of Latrobe Valley, and some quality sleep in a very quiet room. Bliss. On Sunday morning the folks and I ventured up to the local shopping centre for some retail therapy, a less-than-desirable-cappuccino and a little family bonding. The old fella and I went into a large department store to look for a new earpiece for my phone and in the course of our travels we bumped into an acquaintance of Ron's; Chris.
Meeting Chris
Ron (yes, I call my parents by their first names - weird I know) asked Chris how he had been. Apparently it had been a while since the two had chatted because Chris proceeded to tell us that over the last two years he has battled three different kinds of cancer and undergone a range of horrible treatments, procedures and experiences. Considering the physical, emotional and psychological pain he had endured, I thought he was doing well just to be upright. It's amazing how insignificant my problems seemed as I listened to Chris speak. Funny thing perspective; things only have the meaning we give them.
What I'm Meant to Do
Once the "how are you" question was asked the flood gates opened for Chris. After chatting with him for a while my phone rang and it was Mary wondering where the hell her boys were. So I sent the old fella out of the store to have a coffee with his wife and I chose to stay right there in the electrical appliances section to listen to Chris's story. It sounds weird but sometimes I get this very clear, strong and unmistakable feeling that I'm just meant to do something, and what I believe I was meant to do in that moment, in that situation was give a stranger my time, energy and attention. Do you ever get that feeling? When I ignore it (and I have in the past) I get a strong sense that I've done the wrong thing and ignored the only voice I should pay attention to.
Kettles, Blenders and Toasters
Apart from asking a few relevant questions and injecting some appropriate comments, I really didn't say much to the man I had just met. I didn't need to. Standing there next to the kettles, blenders and toasters, I realised how important it was for Chris to connect with someone who would simply show him some genuine interest and offer him some unconditional time and care. Someone to acknowledge his pain and listen to his story. Such an easy yet powerful thing to do. I'm always talking on this site about the things we wantand the things we need. Well, what we all need is someone to care about us. Someone to listen. Someone to take an interest. Someone to connect with us. Someone to acknowledge what we're feeling.
We spoke for about twenty minutes and then went our separate ways. I invited Chris to come and see me when next in the big smoke. I meant it. I have thought about him quite a lot since last Sunday. I hope he's well. I hope he's pain-free. I hope he has someone to listen to his story, acknowledge his feelings, understand his fear and to love him unconditionally. And I hope he lives a long, happy and healthy life.
I know this may all seem a little sloppy coming from Mr Hard-Ass Personal Development Bloke but heading into the madness and commercial reality that is Christmas, I'm acutely aware that in the middle of our obsession with 'giving and getting', what we all really need doesn't come in a gift-wrapped box, doesn't cost one cent and won't be found on any shelf.
But it might be found in the electrical appliances section next to the kettles, blenders and toasters.
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Hey Team. Nice work yesterday with your commitments to make your lives a better place over the next year. One day down, 364 to go! Now that you've stepped up to the plate, it's important for you to keep those wheels turning and to create some real momentum. Create enough momentum and it will carry you through the tough days. Here's a few simple tips to help you make your commitment stick...
1. Re-visit your non-negotiable behaviours (you might wanna take a peek at that article). What are your non-negotiables? When something is a non-negotiable in your world (a habit), motivation (or lack thereof) is irrelevant. What you 'feel' like doing will make way for what you're committed to doing.
2. Be productive early in the day. It will put you in a better place (mentally and emotionally) for the rest of your day. 3. Stop over-thinking (yep, you).
4. Print off your commitment list and place it in a prominent position. Like your forehead.
5. Be practical, realistic and honest about what you need to do. Making a public declaration is only putting the key in the ignition. Now you need to turn the key and start driving baby.
6. Acknowledge that this is not 'another attempt' at change... unless you make it that. Your history does not need to become your future. This is not another phase or temporary burst of enthusiasm for you. Neither is it some 'cute' thing you did on Craig's site that 'hopefully' will work. Nothing will work unless you do. You are the solution. Stop sabotaging yourself. Stop rationalising mediocrity. Stop getting in your own way. Stop being a slave to your fears and insecurities and stop limiting your incredible (largely untapped) potential.
7. Spend five minutes (or more) each day visualising yourself in your new-and-improved reality (body, job, environment, relationship, situation, etc.). See it, feel it, touch it, smell it, walk around in it, enjoy it. And then make it real in your physical world.
Feel free to add to the commitment wall - by clicking on the comment thingy - or just leave a comment and say hi. From tomorrow (yes, I know I said today) there will be a link where you can view everyone's commitments and after today you can add to the commitment wall via email.
If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.
... and don't forget to book your place for our upcomingtwo-day RYL Program.
We know that all successful endeavours are the result of an idea, a decision and a commitment. Success isn't an accident, it's a conscious journey and process. It doesn't happen to us or in spite of us, we create it. We also know that any idea (plan, intention, goal) only becomes a reality when we take the theory and attach it to some action, perseverance, passion, resilience and courage. Consistently. When it comes to creating amazing results in our world, the truth is that we all have the talent to do, be and create amazing (yes, all of us - even you), but very few of us have the commitment. We talk the talk but far too often, that's all we do; talk.
Dancing in the Rain
Committed people do what most can, but never will. They don't have more ability than the next person, they just do more with what they've got. While the majority find an excuse, these guys find a way to get the job done. While most are looking from the window of their warm, safe house, they are outside dancing in the rain. Show me someone who is totally committed to success and I'll show you a person who will truly explore their potential and do what most will only dream of. Literally.
An Opportunity
So today I'm giving you an opportunity to commit to something. Publicly. To stop thinking, talking and procrastinating and to step up to the plate and share with the world your commitment to creating the new-and-improved version of you. That is, what you're going to do (be, create, produce, change, fix, address, overcome, resolve) over the next twelve months of your life. And yes, we know a year is not a lifetime but let's start somewhere and roll those changes out over the long term after we nail the short and medium term stuff. You know I'm not a fan of resolutions but I am a big fan of making tough decisions and committing to a cause; so that's what today is about.
What is the Commitment Wall
The wall is a place on this site which could be the starting point of an incredible journey if you choose to make it that. I'm inviting you to put pen to paper (okay, fingers to keyboard) and to tell the rest of us in less than one hundred words (preferably way less) what you're going to do, be, achieve, create, overcome in the next year. You don't need to explain why or how you're going to do it. This process is not about the rest of us taking a peek into your life, it's about you doing different, to create different. It's about you telling the world (and more importantly, yourself) who and what you're going to become in the future.
Why?
The reason I'm launching this concept is because (1) some of you need a little shove to action (2) some of you have been 'almost' changing for far too long (3) some people read too much (self help) and do far too little and (4) people who articulate what they're going to do in a public forum such as this are more likely to actually create positive change than those who never let their ideas, aspirations and goals venture beyond the confines of their (frustrated) mind.
How?
Write one hundred words or less. If it's longer, it won't be published. It can be in point form or any style you're comfortable with. It only needs to make sense to you. Don't write what sounds good to anyone else, write what is meaningful, relevant and necessary for you. Be brave. Don't do this unless you are absolutely serious about the process - otherwise you're simply wasting space on my site and wasting your time. You don't have to sign your submission but not signing indicates a lack of total commitment, gives you an escape clause and means you haven't really made a public declaration but rather, an anonymous one. We're not judging you, we're supporting you. We want you to succeed. We're on your team. Why else would I do this? All submissions will be placed in a separate area on the site (called the commitment wall) and you will be able to access that any time via a link (menu option, near my photo, top left home page) from tomorrow (Wednesday). For today, submit your commitment via the comment thingy at the bottom of this post. After today you can submit your commitment any time via email.
And Then?
Every three months from today, we will ask you to provide us with a brief update on your progress. Hopefully this will help you stay focused and proactive. By doing this you will have thousands of accountability partners - for free! Your update will be placed along side your original submission for the commitment wall and you can also submit (brief) words of encouragement for others. I hope you find this resource and opportunity a valuable addition to your personal development journey.
Enjoy your Tuesday Groovers and be the change.
Ciao x
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In Personal Development speak we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world. And while it's important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it's also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.
Exploring the WHY
Sometimes when we explore our why, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realise that our what (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we're really seeking. For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their what is weight-loss and their why is happiness (etc.) and a partner. Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they're no happier, no more secure, no more confident, no more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner. After all, who wants to be with someone who's miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met. So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they'll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.
Our Motives
The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want). The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration. We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing, wasn't really what they were needing. What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.
Our Internal State
We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because on some level most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection. Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works but... setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.
What we Want and What we Need
Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want. Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful. Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you're rich or pretty, you're happy. If you're both, you're very happy. Pretty isn't what we really want; it's what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money. When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs: joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.
What we Don't Need
Nobody needs a mansion or a sport's car but we all need love. Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding. Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness. The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what's happening in our internal environment, than our external one.
Different but the Same
It's a commonly-held belief that we're all very different and we all have different goals but in many ways we're not, and we don't; we all want essentially the same thing (you know). Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.
If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.
Namaste ( ) * Don't forget to book your place for our upcoming two-day RYL Program...
Well, the launch of our two-day RYL has created huuuuge interest. We have even had a few emails from people who are considering travelling to the program from other countries! Freaky. Within thirty minutes of the information going on the site, we had four people book in. Cool! Gotta say, I'm really excited about this particular program. I know it's going to be a life-changing weekend for a lot of people. I hope you can make it along.
December 5 Already!!
Well, another working week draws to a close and we slide into the weekend with excitement, optimism and expectation. Or perhaps, complete exhaustion. Can you believe it's December 5? Yowza!! As the end of the year looms large, it sometimes feels like we're stumbling towards the finishing line of 2008 doesn't it? So much to do and so little time. Seems like that anyway. While it should be a time of celebration, joy and family, it often proves to be anything but that. It's also the time of year when some of us get all deep, philosophical, reflective and momentarily spiritual about life, love, relationships, God and of course, why we're here; our purpose. That's not always a bad thing; providing we do more than merely think and analyse.
The Cosmic Download
While some people will spend (waste) their entire life waiting for their 'life purpose' to be miraculously revealed to them in some kind of mystical, magical, life-defining moment, for the majority of us mere mortals, that probably ain't gonna happen. And that's okay; we don't live in a Disney movie, we live down here on Earth with the rest of the group. You and I may actually need to figure it out all by ourselves. We might have to steer our own ship, shape our own reality and determine our own destiny. Personally, I love that thought. While some believe their purpose is somehow cosmically pre-ordained (chosen) for them, I believe we get to choose what our purpose will be and then build a life around that choice. Sadly, some people will spend their entire life waiting for a mystical, magical revelation (cosmic download) that never arrives.
Another Year Down... Nearly.
The truth is that many (many) people struggle at this time of year. That's sad. And not only because of the loneliness thing (which is massive), but also because of the "another year has passed and I'm still living the same life, with the same problems, the same destructive habits, the same frustrations, the same crappy mindset, the same lack of purpose and producing the same undesirable results in my world" ... thing.
'Tis the Season to be... Practical.
While we (understandably) have a tendency to lean towards the deep and meaningful at this time of year, I'm suggesting (for those of us who want to do, be and create better) that we also lean towards the realistic, the logical and the practical; the "what do I need to change about my thinking, my habits, my standards and my behaviour RIGHT NOW to make 2009 the best year of my life?"
Typical Behaviour
What normally happens at this time of year is some, or all, of the following: we drink too much, spend too much, eat too much, lie in the sun too much (in Australia anyway) and make a bunch of resolutions that we ultimately don't follow through on for more than a few weeks. At the end of every year we talk about how different our life is going to be next year; even though we had the exact same thoughts, conversations and intentions this time last year (and the ten years before that). We keep doing the same things and hoping for a different outcome. Good luck with that.
You the Problem. You the Solution.
Your best life ain't about fate, destiny, chance, karma, luck, cosmic downloads, resolutions or dates on a calendar. It's all about you as a person; the decision maker, the communicator, the problem solver, the doer. If you are serious about making 2009 your best year (whatever that means for you personally), then you need to take a serious look at what you did and didn't do (and why) in 2008. If you take the same mindset, standards and behaviours into 2009, you'll produce similar results to this year or worse.
Excellence produces excellence, Grasshoppers.
Ciao x
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P.S. Tonight (Friday) between seven and ten (Melbourne time) I will be taking off my various other hats and putting on my radio host headphones and pretending that I'm a sports broadcaster for a few hours on 1116am SEN radio here in Melbourne. I will be filling in for the regular host; Mark Fine and acting like I know what I'm on about. For the first hour of the show I will be in the studio chatting with Australian netballer, Bianca Chatfield. If you have nothing better to do (as if), tune in (you can listen on-line also), have a laugh and feel free to ring in and chat with me live on air! The talk-back number is (03) 9429 1116.
If you are new to this site, then you probably won't know that RYL is an acronym for 'Renovate Your Life'; a personal development program that I created and have been running for a while now in both a half-day and full-day format all around this fine land of ours. Just last month we finished a national tour and the overwhelming feedback was "I wish the program went for longer." Well, Johnny and I must be psychic (if not, psycho) because we had already been planning to run a two-day, live-in version of the program in 2009. Amazingly, the full day session didn't really seem long enough so we thought developing and running a longer version of the program would make sense. Two days with me; good grief.
Challenges
Making this program a reality has presented Johnny and I with a few... 'opportunities for personal growth'. With most live-in, high-quality programs like this costing well over a thousand dollars, trying to make our program both affordable for potential participants and also economically viable (for us as a business) was a big challenge. While the program content, structure and facilitation is pretty straight forward, our biggest challenge was to find a venue that wasn't going to push our program cost into the stratosphere. Do we go five star and charge a fortune, or do we opt for something less glamorous, more practical and more affordable for the masses? Finding a venue with the resources and facilities that we need, which can accommodate and feed one hundred people for two days without sending us all broke was an interesting exercise. In the end we settled on the Anglesea Recreation Camp here in coastal Victoria. While it is a camp-type venue designed for accommodating big groups, it's also kinda fun and funky and has great resources and facilities including lecture rooms, indoor and outdoor basketball courts, high and low ropes courses, volleyball courts, football fields and a bunch more. I have run many training programs (fitness based) at this venue over the years and have always had a great time. Think school camp (with slightly better facilities than we had in the eighties) and you're in the ball park. If you're a little precious and addicted to luxury, this probably won't suit you. I personally love the whole beachy, laid-back camp vibe. It's a beautiful location and environment to run a program such as this. Sand, surf, nature, bliss.
Some Practical Stuff
While the program is primarily aimed at addressing how we think, process, cope, choose, react, communicate and create in our world (all the head stuff), there will also be a practical component where we get off our butts and actually do something!! And no, you don't need to panic about this and no, you don't need to be 'fit'. Although I will facilitate the majority of the teaching for the weekend (90% or more), some of my team will be along to run some break-out sessions. There will be an exercise element to the program but it will be (1) optional and (2) fitness level specific (you won't die). Over the weekend we will also explore (in detail) the area of creating life-long optimal health; nutrition, exercise, lifestyle, emotional and mental health.
Snapshot of the Program
The weekend will consist of:
* Practical workshops * Lectures * Exercise/activity sessions * Small group sessions * Question/answer sessions * Laughing, eating, sillyness * Free time, socialising
These live-in programs are often the genesis for not only life-long change, but also life-long friendships. While you will be challenged, pushed, inspired and educated, you will also have a ball spending time with like-minded people all looking to create better results in their world. You will also get to meet some of my very cool trainers, coaches and therapists. And you might get to see me consume my bodyweight in cheesecake.
Details
When: May 29 - 31, 2009. The program commences 8 pm Friday night and concludes, Sunday 4 pm (arrive and register from 5 pm Friday).
Where:Anglesea Recreation Camp, Anglesea, Victoria
Cost: $595.00*
* We are offering an Early Bird deal of $495.00if paid in full by December 24. Maybe someone can buy you a place for Christmas! Ho, ho, ho. And yes, we will do a deal for groups (no, not groups of two!). We have booked the venue for one hundred people. I will be taking ten of my team so that brings us back to a limit of ninety places. If you have any questions, you can contact Johnny on (03) 9553 8857 during business hours or you can email him here.
I arrive home, make a cup of tea, take a Ginger Bread Man (oh yes, that's right) from the pantry and put on some training clothes. I feel more creative when I'm in my slobby clothes. I walk up the stairs to my office and settle in with my GBM and my tea. I mercilessly bite the head off my GBM and I endeavour to focus myself for some productivity; more emails, more comments and more phone calls to return. At about four o'clock I get a call from one of my team. They have a problem. It's not major but it's real. We talk for about five minutes and eventually I ask "so what's the solution?" They tell me what they think we should do and I say "okay, do that." They get off the phone happy and confident. They didn't need me; they already knew the answer. They just wanted re-assurance and approval (the issue was resolved quickly). Just before four thirty my back is aching from sitting in this stupid chair; the one I'm in right now. I get on the floor with my foam roller and do a little self-adjusting and massage. My back is like a piece of wood and the foam roller is agony. And ecstasy. I stretch, but not enough. I have an attitude problem towards it. Don't tell anyone.
4.30 pm
I decide I need some time out, some movement and some fresh air so I put on my headphones and head out the front door. I leave my phone at home. Bliss. I make my way down to the beach (5 minute walk) and stroll along a surprisingly quiet foreshore. Just me, an old couple and a few seagulls. I love the beach; it's therapeutic. I listen to some of my favourite music and do my best not to think. About anything. I endeavour to disconnect from the busy-ness of my day. I'm working on just being in the moment; not an easy task for Mr Busy Brain. I'm certainly no Eckhart Tolle but I'm getting there. My walk is not really about exercise but about space, quiet, balance and calm. It's more about the emotional than it is the physical.
5:20 pm
Fifty minutes later I arrive home, put on the kettle, re-engage my brain, check my phone messages and start to think about my radio gig that night; another hour on SEN with a different host - Mark Fine. The hour is to be more about psychology, personal growth and even philosophy than it is about the straight health/fitness message. I attend to some random bits and pieces and then head up to my gym at six o'clock for a getbig session. Some people meditate, I lift. It relaxes me.
6.00 pm
I walk into Harper's and the place is buzzing; trainers and clients everywhere. Six is peak time. The lovely Celia (our receptionist) hands me some phone messages and asks me to sign three books for a lady. I do a lap of the gym, shake a few hands, share a hug or two, say hello to plenty of people and do my best to acknowledge everyone. When it's your gym you have a certain responsibility to be friendly, aware and professional. Five minutes later I'm hitting the weights as I've done thousands of times before. I've been lifting weights three to six times per week for the last twenty nine years. Do the maths on that! On this day I train my chest, upper back and lower back and work around my numerous injuries (from years of training like a maniac when I was young).
7:10 pm
By ten past seven I'm back home in my stinky singlet and I'm cooking myself a healthy pasta. Twenty minutes later I'm on the couch and eating my dinner in front of my big-ass TV while watching some mindless but mildly amusing comedy; Two and a Half Men. Fifteen minutes later I'm suffering from Charlie Sheen overload (not hard) and my pasta is a memory. I walk out to my front yard, sit under a tree, let my pasta digest and spend thirty minutes or so reading a new book. I'll tell you the name of it when I'm done - I'm not sure if I'm sold on it yet.
8.00 pm
By eight I'm back in my office replying to emails and comments and working on my next post. I spend half an hour attending to various things and then at eight thirty I make my way to the car yet again for my third trip to the city for the day. I am on the phone the whole way; chatting to my folks. They make me laugh. My Mum could talk under water with a mouth full of marbles. Love you Mary! I arrive at SEN just before nine o'clock and say hello to the producer of the show; Spider Lee. Some big sporting news has just come through (regarding a footballer here in Australia) so it appears that my planned segment will have to wait; we will be talking football for an hour or so instead. Mark (the host) and I spend the entire show talking to each other and to the listeners re the Ben Cousins (the player) saga. We also interview ex AFL coach, Grant Thomas. As usual the time flies and before I know it, it's five past ten and I'm in the car heading home. Again.
10:05 pm
I turn on my phone and Baldy has left me a message. I return his call and we chat about the website for fifteen minutes. He works as much as me. He needs help. I return a few more calls (friends this time, not work) and I pull into the drive at about ten thirty. Surprisingly, I'm not tired. I feel great. I make myself another tea and debate whether or not I should have my second GBM for the day. I tell myself they're all protein and I succumb. Still a fat fourteen year-old at heart, I guess. I head upstairs to my office and work on my new book until eleven thirty at which time I figure I'll call it a day. I decide to take a brief stroll before bed. I head out into the dark and still of the night and it's glorious. No cars, no noise, no people, no chaos. Bliss. Just what I need. I climb into bed at five past twelve and Letterman is on TV. Sometimes he's funny but not tonight. Somewhere around twelve thirty I shut off the noise and slide into a coma.
I'm sorry if you found 'A day in the Life of Me' mindlessly boring. Keep in mind that it wasn't my idea! I'll never burden you with that again. Tomorrow I will be announcing the details (where, when, cost) of our two-day RYL program for next year. That's gonna be a blast.
Enjoy your Wednesday. *If you're not sure how to leave a comment, click here.
I wrote the following post with some trepidation. To be honest, the idea of writing a 'Day in the Life of Me' article didn't really sit comfortably with me. Apart from seeming a little self-indulgent and wanky, I didn't really think it would be something that people would find hugely interesting. It came about because someone asked me (in a comment on this site) if I would do it and I said I'd think about it... not really intending to follow through (don't tell anyone). I thought the moment would pass and people would forget about it. Well, they didn't. I have since had a constant stream of comments and emails from people (over one hundred) who are interested to learn what a typical day in the life of me looks like. Okay, don't blame me. Here we go...
Tuesday November 25 (last week)
I guess I should start this little report by saying that there isn't a 'typical day' for me. So I'll write about this day; Tuesday, November 25, 2008. My alarm goes off at five forty and some bloke talking about European soccer yanks me out of my slumber and smashes me over the head with some game scores that I don't care about. My clock radio is tuned to SEN; the sports station that I work on and the volume is intentionally too loud. I heave my tired self from my nocturnal cocoon and amble towards the bathroom. I take an early morning slash (you wanted details), tidy up my whiskers and put my semi-conscious self into the shower. Nice. The hot water massages my foggy brain as I try to gain some clarity about the morning's radio gig; GOLD 104. "What am I talking about this morning?" I ask myself... that's right; I'm answering questions emailed to me from listeners. Easy.
5:50 am
By five fifty I'm dried, dressed and almost coherent. The fog is lifting. I walk into my (home) office and glance at my computer. Fifty seven new emails. I get about a thousand (genuine) emails each week. I also notice that we sold a bunch of books and DVD's over night. With every sale on the site, I am sent a report. Nice. Gotta pay Johnny somehow. I get myself a cup of tea and by five past six I'm in my car (beverage in hand) and on my way to the city; a twenty minute trip at that time of the day. The road is quiet and I surf radio stations trying to find some news. I consider turning my phone on. I decide not to. If it's on, it will ring. I choose to enjoy a little more solace.
6:30 am
I arrive at the station and walk into the studio. Grubby and Dee Dee (the hosts of the show) are there along with their producer, Miss Vicky. These guys are legends of Melbourne radio and it's always fun working with them; genuinely nice people. Next year will be my fifth year working on the station. We talk crap for a few minutes (while a song plays) and then we're into business. I do part one of my question-answer thing and then we head back into some more music. We chat (off air) a little more while another song plays and then we wrap up my second segment with a few laughs and a little education from Uncle Craig. Even though it's a relatively brief stint (about eight minutes), it's a great gig both personally and professionally. Personally because it's fun, they're great people and I enjoy it, and professionally, because I've learned a bunch along the way, developed my radio skills and built my 'brand'. The media has proven to be a great branding vehicle for me (as an educator, motivator, fitness bloke, etc.), for my business and also for this website. I leave the station at seven-ish, turn on my phone and listen to numerous messages.
7:28 am
I arrive at Harper's (my gym) at 7:28. I have a seven thirty appointment with a bloke I'll call Steve (for this post). While I do quite a bit of mentoring these days, I don't do any personal training. Except with Steve. We do a mix of the head stuff and the body stuff. I've been working with him for ten weeks and his body-fat has dropped from 33% to 22%. He's also gone from very high risk to moderate risk, changed his diet, changed his lifestyle and totally changed his thinking. He's a high-profile entrepreneur who realised that money ain't much value to him if he's dead. So I put the forty nine year-old through his paces and he does well. We lift weights, do a little cardio, talk shit (as blokes do) and then finish the session with a stretch. His flexibility is crap. I tell him. He knows. He's like a ceramic tile with hair on top. He's a blokey bloke (man's man) and enjoys the straight forward (no fluff) communication style. Fortunately for me; I'm no good at fluff.
8:45 am
After my session with Steve I head home - I do most of my work (writing, consulting, planning) from my home office these days. I walk through the door at eight forty five and head straight for the kitchen. I prepare my breakfast (oat brits, bran, muesli) and walk upstairs to my office. I eat and read emails at the same time. A multi-tasking male. My emails are a typically strange mix; people who want my advice, people who want to work with me or for me, people who want me to do something for them (for free), people who want to share their story, people who have a business 'proposal' for me, people thanking me for helping them in some way, the occasional person telling me what an opinionated dickhead I am and of course, a range of legitimate business emails from people or organisations I'm working with. I also take a look at the comments on my site from the day's post. I reply to a bunch of them and then focus my energy elsewhere. Over the last two years I have endeavoured to reply to (almost) every comment. I felt it was an important part of the 'relationship building' process with my readers and that if someone could make the effort, so could I. Don't know how long I can keep up the personal replies... we'll see. Just before nine thirty I get a call from Adam (my Director of Nutrition) who wants to run a few ideas by me and ask me for some advice. We chat for ten minutes and make a time for a face to face catch up. He's a new addition to my team and is doing a great job at developing the nutritional arm of me-dot-com.
9.30 am
At nine thirty I make a call to a company that I'm doing a presentation for in the next few weeks. Bossy Johnny has instructed me to call Sally (yep, an alias) to discuss my upcoming gig; this is a standard thing for me to do before I work with a company. Sally tells me about her organisation, the crowd I'll be speaking to, the size of the audience, the topic they want me to speak on, what the dress code is and their desired outcomes from my presentation. I ask a few relevant questions, crack a few lame jokes and tell her I look forward to meeting her in person and working with her team. She seems happy. I make that point because some conference organisers are stress heads and are hard to please. At about ten o'clock I get a call from Johnny to inform me that he has just picked up a new speaking gig for me; a one hour keynote in February in Sydney. Giddyup. Good work Johnny. He also informs me that the new promotional DVD that our media guy is putting together is nearly ready. It's a four minute show-reel of me speaking and the Bald Man says it looks great. I get a little excited. I wanna see it.
11.00 am
After an hour and a bit of answering emails and comments, planning radio shows, talking on the phone and starting to write my next post (How we React), I have an appointment; a mentoring session via Skype. I am working with a girl who lives in Canada. It's a forty five minute session and while I can't be specific about her session, I can say that we're working through a few challenges in her world and she's doing great. I've been mentoring her fortnightly since August but we're about to move to monthly sessions. Then to quarterly sessions and after that she'll contact me (okay Johnny) if, and when, she needs to chat. Mentoring only works when people are ready to do the work and she's doing great because she's stopped over-thinking and started doing.
Midday
My mentoring session is done and I've just spent (another) ten minutes on the phone speaking to Johnny about what else I need to get done today. He reminds me that we need to finalise details for our two-day RYL program (which we've now done by the way), informs me of some meetings that he and I have in the next few days and tells me not to forget our client Christmas party this coming Saturday (last Saturday now). It's now midday and I need to be in the car in twenty minutes because I have another radio gig at one o'clock. This time it's a one hour health/fitness gig on SEN (Sports Entertainment Network) here in Melbourne (1116AM). The host is Mark Doran and we spend an hour talking health and sport, while also chatting with a constant stream of talk-back callers. The hour flies and before I know it, I'm done.
2:05 pm
It's now five past two and I'm back in the car heading for a two thirty late lunch with Johnny and Mikey. I turn on my phone and I have nine new messages (in the last hour). I listen to them and return a couple of calls. One of them is from a guy who wants to co-write a book with me; I call him back and we have an impromptu meeting which proves to be productive. In between returning calls, Becky (my producer from channel Ten) rings me to talk about next week's show. We chat about a few ideas and decide that my next segment will be focused on 'Surviving the Christmas Cheer'. I am doing this segment (live) tomorrow morning and it will be on at about 10:45 here in Australia.
2:30 pm
Johnny, Mikey (my business partner in the gym) and I eat lunch together most days and we have a 25/75 rule; 25% of the time spent talking business and 75% spent talking shit and laughing. We mostly adhere to the rule and today proves to be no exception. We hang out for an hour or so, deal with a few business matters, eat some food and laugh a lot. I inhale a chicken and vegetable stir-fry. And nearly three of my fingers. Hunger will do that. I also have an English breakfast tea (excitement machine that I am). Mikey updates me on the goings on at our gym, we discuss a few issues and make a few decisions. Three thirty arrives and I'm back in the trusty steed and heading home.
To be continued...
*If you're bored shitless, let me know and I'll shelve part two!
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When I was growing up, my father (Ron the business man) was forever sharing from his extensive database of Ron-isms (sayings). The downloads were numerous, mildly amusing and constant. While there were literally hundreds of them, some of them got wheeled out more often than others. Here's a snapshot of my childhood education:
"Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken" (think about it)
"Going to University won't give you a personality"
"Why buy a book when you can go to the library?" (this was his dating advice to me in my teens)
And while many Ron-isms were tongue in cheek, there was also a smattering of insight and wisdom to be found if you were paying attention; which I rarely was. In my early twenties when I was developing my personal training business (Harper's Personal Training), the old fella and I were talking about succeeding with my new venture when he asked me this question...
"How many first impressions can you make?"
He didn't need to explain; I got it.
In business, first impressions can make or break you; the way a phone is answered, how the staff present themselves, a smile, a scowl, communication style, attitude, punctuality, cleanliness (of the facility), personal hygiene (stinky people aren't really an asset to your business) and much more. It all comes under the banner of professionalism, customer service and awareness.
Before I Continue...
People often ask me how I plan these articles; not only the individual posts but my 'writing plan' for the year. As if. When I look at them blankly it dawns on them that perhaps there is no 'master' writing plan. Perhaps I just write. Usually the process is as simple as this: I have an idea, a challenge, a revelation, a lesson or an experience in my world, and I'm prompted to write about it. So I do. My best work is organic, spontaneous and freestyle. Sometimes I start writing and just see what happens. It's a fertile place my mind. So anyway, yesterday I had an experience which was the catalyst for this post....
Car Shopping
A friend of mine wants to buy a new car. When it comes to buying, negotiating and doing the whole new car thing, she's a little clueless. And kind of hates it. So she asked me if I would do the haggling and number crunching for her, then she could just sign on the dotted line and pay a deposit once the 'uncomfortable' stuff (her words) was done. She knew exactly which car she wanted, so I figured it would be a relatively straight forward process for me. Easy Peasy; I love haggling.
So yesterday I rolled into the closest dealership of the brand my friend wants to buy. I walked in to the showroom (wearing my army shorts, a training shirt and sandals) and it's fair to say that I probably didn't look particularly affluent or impressive. Nonetheless, I was there to do business. I made my way around the showroom, found the object of her desire and crawled all over it like a spider monkey in a banana tree. All the while, sales people walked straight by me like I had a 'do not approach' sign on my forehead or maybe I was the carrier of some highly contagious deadly disease. Didn't really matter, I was still in my investigation and research phase.
What Customer Service?
After fifteen minutes of poking, prodding, pulling and perusing everything I could, I was ready to haggle. At this stage there was still no attention from any of the staff. I really must have looked broke. I emerged from my mechanical cocoon and endeavoured to make eye contact with the nearest sales person. After five minutes of fruitless waiting and looking forlorn, the attention seeking inner-child was beginning to feel somewhat neglected. And mildly pissed off. Couldn't complain about the customer service; there was none. So I headed towards the attractive looking lady who was manning (okay, womanning) the reception desk. As I approached the counter, she looked up from her desk and towards me. Without smiling or acknowledging me, she returned her gaze to the desk region. She was on the phone so I gave her the benefit of the doubt; perhaps she was dealing with an important issue. I stood and waited. And waited. And waited. For about five minutes she made no eye contact with me and continued her phone conversation, which turned out to be with a friend who was having some relationship issues. Yep, pretty important stuff. Just before I was about to walk out and take my business elsewhere, I noticed a plaque sitting to one side of the reception desk. It read:
"Director of First Impressions"
Well, yes she was. And yes she did.
My friend bought her car today... from another dealership. She picks it up next week.
How Do Others See Us?
Like it or not, aware of it or not, you and I are constantly making a first impression on someone. Good or bad. So the question becomes not "do we?" but "how do we?" How are we perceived? How do we come across to others? What kind of message do you send to those around you? Do you come across as friendly? Rude? Arrogant? Kind? Generous? Aggressive? Inconsiderate? Selfish? Genuine? Insincere?
In life we are constantly assessing (other people) and being assessed; it's how we're wired. Part of that is a self-protection thing, part of it is to assess and understand a situation or experience and part of it is because we're sticky beaks (curious). Before you even open your mouth, people are evaluating you. Everything you do (or don't do) is sending a message. People who have never even spoken to you have an opinion of you. When I walk on stage to give a presentation people are already evaluating me before I even open my mouth. My words only tell part of the story and before I speak a single word, they already have an opinion based on the way I walk, how I dress, my look, my age, my hair (or lack thereof), my facial expression, my posture and my physique.
What I'm not Saying...
Now, before you misinterpret what I'm saying, I am not saying that we should be obsessed with, or worried about, what people think of us. Of course people will always find fault no matter how hard we try or how evolved we become. What I am saying is that some of us need to raise our awareness of how people perceive us in certain situations and circumstances. Especially in situations where people don't know us; especially when we're creating a first impression. And no, it's not about becoming an insecure, people-pleaser either; it's about learning to be more effective, productive and aware in both our personal and professional lives. It's about communicating and connecting with those around us in a manner which will produce good results for all concerned. It's about understanding that, "we don't see things as they are, we see things a we are."
Learning by Doing
This ain't no theory; over my journey I have mis-managed many situations, opportunities and conversations because: (1) I used the wrong approach (2) I was unaware; not paying attention (3) I misread the situation and (4) I was too caught up in my own stuff. Of course some people will get offended no matter what but I'm not talking about those people today; I'm talking about you and I and how we can do better in these situations to create better.
First impressions are important not only in business but in any area of our existence that requires interaction with others. Sometimes creating a negative first impression means blowing a potentially great opportunity, lesson or even friendship. So not only did the woman at that car dealership miss the opportunity to sell me a car, she also missed out on meeting me!
So this week my challenge to you is to be more aware. Not obsessed, just more aware. Self improvement is about constantly chipping away at the little things; consistently doing what we need to do, to become a better version of us.
Enjoy your week and choose to be exceptional.
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