This site is the website of motivational speaker Craig Harper. A constantly updated, one-stop information, inspiration, education and motivation station. Unlike many similar sites, it is a totally free resource for anyone who is serious about moving from mediocre to amazing in any area of their personal or professional life. With hundreds of articles covering a wide range of subject matter, great interviews with cool people and inspirational video posts, there's more than enough brain-food to keep you busy for hours. Okay, days!! Enjoy.
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Fattitude
- Craig Harper
While many books focus on food,
Craig teaches that creating life-long change is more about the
dieter, than the actual diet. This book is perfect for people who have a
history of 'almost' getting in shape.
DVD
or CD - Renovate Your Body In this entertaining presentation, Craig discusses the
notion of Renovating Your Body - once and for all. Many of us have a curious
ability to be able to get in shape for events (weddings, parties, reunions
and birthdays), if only we'd get in shape for life.
Craig Harper is Australia's leading
motivational speaker
and educator (according to Google Australia). He is a highly
sought-after corporate coach and is considered to be
a leader and pioneer in the areas of personal and
professional development.
Working with hundreds of
teams, companies and a wide variety of organisations
on numerous continents over the last twenty years
has given Craig a unique insight into, and
understanding of, human performance and all its
variables. Craig has an ability to educate, inspire,
challenge and make people laugh all at the same
time!
* Note: this article won't be relevant for every reader. For those of you who have followed through on your New Year's resolutions and done amazing things, you may want to check back in tomorrow. For some of you it will be a timely poke in the ribs, for others it will be reality check and for many it will be an opportunity to stop, step back and take stock of where you are at in relation to where you planned to be at this stage of the year.
Q. So guess what today is? A. It's the last day of the first half of the year.
Yep, we're officially half way through 2008.
Shit!
If you're like many people, then exactly six months ago you were all pumped about the new year that lay ahead of you and all the amazing things you were about to do, create and achieve in your soon-to-be-very-different life. Yep... 2008; the year of change. Re-invention. Resolution. Revolution. The new you.
Apparently.
Your reality was about to take an incredible turn for the better; different habits, different mindset, different behaviours, different relationships and of course, different outcomes. You were excited and expectant about all the amazing things that were about to happen in your world because apparently January 1 is the day that we all become incredibly different.
You would have done it earlier but as we all know New Year's Day is a much better day to change your life than say... December 16. And as for November 22, you wouldn't even consider that. Not only is November 22 a stupid date to change but last year it fell on a Thursday... and we all understand that nobody changes their life by starting something on a Thursday. Monday is the officialstartday for change. That's the rule.
Ask anybody.
Sure, you had made similar resolutions before but this time it was gonna be different. You said so.
No, really.
So like the multitudes of would-be-life-transformers, you waited for the life-changing day to arrive; January 1, 2008.
The official change day.
And like every other year, New Year's day came and went. And for a little while you were different. Well, actually you were the same. You acted different(ly) for a few weeks (days perhaps) but inside you hadn't really changed at all. Your behaviour was temporarily different but you were the same. You went through the motions as you've done many times before (simulated transformation) and then just like you always do, you found a reason to stop. Again. A very legitimate-sounding reason of course. You're good at that. As soon as the excitement and emotion of the new year died down, so too did your new-found mindset and behaviours.
So here we are, half way through another year and for some of us it's time to suck it up and ask ourselves a few honest questions. Here's are a few I've asked myself over the years and the answers I came up with.
Q.What have I learned about creating genuine (forever) change since January 1? A. Creating positive change in my life has nothing to do with a date on a calendar and everything to do with me. My attitude, my determination, my honesty, my self-assessment, my discipline, my ability to deal with adversity and discomfort and my preparedness to do what needs to be done day in, day out. Even on Thursdays. Even when I'm tired. Even when it ain't fun. Even when it's not easy. Or convenient.
Q.What have I learned about New Year's resolutions? A. For the majority, they don't lead to long-term behavioural change. They don't work.
Q. What has stopped me from achieving what I set out to at the start of the year? A. Me.
Q. What else have I learned? A. I can't rely on motivation to get me there; it's a temporary emotional state. Passion is great but it needs to be wrapped around a fail-safe, non-negotiable plan. Q. And?
A. I'm better off doing a few things well, rather than twenty things poorly.
So, I've got three questions for you:
1. What have you learned since January 1? 2. What are you going to do differently in the second half of this year?
3. How will you ensure that your answer to question two becomes a reality rather than just another intention?
Let me know your answers by clicking on the comment thingy.... or just say hi and share your thoughts.
For some of you fitness bunnies, today's article may not be particularly relevant. Sorry 'bout that. Give it to a fat friend perhaps. To be honest, sometimes I get tired of having the same discussions and talking and writing about the same issue - over and over (and over) again. After this post I will give the obesity thing a wide berth (pun intended) for a while. I certainly don't seek out the fat discussion but it invariably seems to find its way to me. More than half of the emails I receive are essentially the same question; "how do I get leaner and lighter?" And media outlets are always contacting me to talk about the obesityepidemic (as they call it).
To me it seems like we're still chasing our tails and still missing the point. Yes I've covered some of what I'm about to say before but perhaps it's worth repeating because we still seem to be looking for answers in the wrong places and we certainly ain't gettin' no thinner! And a big hello to the grammar police.
9AM with David and Kim
Yesterday I did my regular Channel Ten gig and we chatted about the fact that Australia has now officially become the fattest nation on the planet - according to the latest research from Melbourne's Baker Heart Research Institute. That's right; out of one hundred and ninety five(ish) countries here on the big blue ball, we sit (literally) at the very top of the Global Fatometer. The good-old, fun-loving, sun-drenched huge Aussie.
Aaah, we're such high achievers aren't we? If there was a Fat Olympics, we would be standing (or lying perhaps) at the top of the (very well reinforced) medal podium laughing at all you wanna-be fatties. And you Americans thought you could eat... Ha.
Amateurs.
Commitment
Us Aussies are certainly not gonna let stupid things like education, increased awareness, public health warnings, government campaigns, weight-loss initiatives and alarming statistics stand between us and our beloved calories. Nope, we are nothing if not committed to our obsession with food and our devotion to culinary pleasure.
Burger anyone?
Throw into the obesity equation an ever-increasing array of low-fat, low-salt, low-GI and low-calorie foods, a mountain of weight-loss pills, powders, potions and products, a plethora of gyms, studios, health retreats, clinics and fat farms... and our ability to still gain weight becomes even more of an achievement. If ever there was a generation determined to kill itself, it's us.
Excuse my overt sarcasm today but COME ON!!!... what actually needs to happen for people (individually and collectively) to stop doing this to themselves and to stop making stupid, destructive choices day after day, month after month, year after year?
And then miraculously find a way to blame something or someone else for what they have done to their own body?
Barking up the Wrong Tree
Despite what some experts teach, obesity is not a physical issue at it's core; it's an emotional issue and psychological issue and the increasing number of fat Aussies is the physical consequence of that reality. In many ways, fat is merely a symptom of what happens between our ears.
My experience tells me that for many people, obesity is merely the physical result of underlying psychological and emotional issues and until we acknowledge and treat the internalstuff accordingly, our exteriors will continue to grow.
Get your head in the right place and your body will follow. Remember... your body is not who you are, it's just where you live. Your mind determines what happens to your body.
Choices
Over-eating doesn't cause obesity; it's merely one of the mechanisms. What causes obesity (for the majority) are poor choices over an extended period of time. Choosing the fast food. Choosing to over-eat. Choosing the sedentary lifestyle. Choosing not to exercise. Choosing to find an excuse rather than a solution. What causes obesity is us.
It's not some random accident, we create it.
How dare I tell the truth and hurt people's feelings. If only we'd stop getting offended and start getting enlightened, responsible and proactive then maybe we'd see some real physical change. For twenty five years I've been helping people change their bodies and what works best is reality, honesty, accountability and practical strategies. The sooner we admit that we are the cause of our obesity, the sooner we move towards a genuine solution. A forever solution, not some temporary behavioural change.
Getting out of My Own Way
When I was fat (yes, I was fat) it wasn't because of my situation, circumstance, environment or my lack of time, resources or knowledge. It was because of the choices I made. What I chose to do to my body. It wasn't about my genetics, it was about what I chose to do with my genetics. It wasn't about my ability or potential for change, it was about my attitude and my subsequent behaviours.
I knew what to do but I simply didn't do it. It wasn't an educational issue. It was a me issue.
Sound familiar?
* Let us know your thoughts on this post by clicking on the comment thingy and sharing from your own experiences or thoughts. If you'd like to receive articles like this automatically, simply click on the 'subscribe to this feed' thingy at the bottom of this post and become a subscriber.
Today's post is not so much a personal development 'lesson' as it is a discussion and exploration into how blokes and chicks are wired; a look at something which interests me. As always, I don't have all the answers but I do have plenty of questions and thoughts. Being as I'm not a female (mostly), I may be completely off track... so feel free to enlighten me girls.
As a scientist, personal development bloke and fascinated observer of people, I love to see what people do (and don't do) and then try to figure why they do (or don't do) whatever it is that they're doing. Or not doing. As the case may be. Or not be. If you know what I mean. Hey, don't you complain... I'm confused and I'm writing it!
Anyway, there's two interesting observations I've made lately.
Observation 1 In most of my open-to-the-public workshops (as opposed to my corporate gigs) the vast majority of my audience is typically women. The weekend just past we ran our Melbourne RYL program (photos up soon) and over eighty percent of the attendees were of the more attractive and sweeter smelling gender. A couple of weeks ago I gave an open-to-the-public keynote presentation (health, fitness, lifestyle, psychology stuff) in a large fitness centre here in Melbourne and nearly ninety percent(!) of the audience were women. These kinds of percentages are pretty common for my presentations. Now, if I was a young, good-looking, stud-muffin with a six-pack and a severe case of Brad-Pitt-itis that might give us some insight into the skewed numbers, but clearly I'm not, and clearly, people are coming along for the information, the motivation and the education. Even when I do a presentation where many of the people in the audience don't really know who I am, we still have a much higher percentage of women book in and attend.
Observation 2 The vast majority of commentors on this site are women. While it varies a little from article to article, the ratio of female to male contributors is quite amazing. Recently I took a stroll through some of my past posts and the percentage of female commentors is regularly up around the ninety percent mark.
So the obvious question is, "why does this happen and what does it tell us?"
You're right; that's actually two questions.
Well, I'm not really sure but I'll throw around a few possibilities...
1. All the men are out hunting. 2. Only a very small percentage of men can read and write. 3. What I write or speak about isn't applicable to the males of the species. 4. I'm not manly enough to connect with the blokes. 5. Women need more help than men. 6. I don't write enough articles about monster trucks or cage fighting.
Naaah, probably not.
Perhaps...
1. A higher percentage of blokes (higher than ten percent that is) actually read my stuff but they are not as comfortable to comment as the ladies. 2. Growing up, blokes are not 'trained' to talk about relationships, feelings, emotions, fears, weaknesses, problems.. etc. 3. Perhaps some guys consider having a need for 'personal development' to be a sign of weakness (which would make me... pathetic). 4. Blokes don't have the same level of emotional intelligence or awareness as the girls. Or maybe they just don't show it.
Or possibly...
1. Women are simply more aware and more in touch with their emotional selves. 2. Women are more prepared to admit (and deal with) flaws, weaknesses and destructive habits and behaviours. 3. Women are more proactive (about creating positive change) while blokes are more reactive - they wait for the catastrophe to happen and then slip into their Superman outfit. 4. One of my (female) staff suggested that women 'search' more because overall they're not as happy as men. Don't yell at me - a woman told me that.
Maybe...
1. The way I communicate resonates more with women. 2. Perhaps the site needs less photos of sunsets and more images of blokes and their power tools. 3. Women just like talking.
A final thought...
Maybe some of us alpha-male-warriors need to climb down from the security of our monster trucks and go and see Sex and the City tonight.
Or perhaps give another bloke a hug.
Help a confused male out; let me know your thoughts on this perplexing issue.
I'm off to hunt.
Er, I mean do Yoga.
* Let us know your thoughts on this post by clicking on the comment thingy and sharing from your own experiences or thoughts. If you'd like to receive articles like this automatically, simply click on the 'subscribe to this feed' thingy at the bottom of this post and become a subscriber.
Before I even write this post, I'm thinkin' that some of you might not see eye to eye with me on this topic, so for that reason alone I'm gonna say up front that this article (as with all of my writing) is merely my take ona pretty interesting area of the human experience; a humble opinion by the ex-fat kid. Feel free to agree, disagree, sit on the fence or add to the discussion.
In the course of my work I talk to a wide range of people over a typical year - different personalities, different ages, socioeconomic groups, professions, religions, ethnic backgrounds, beliefs-values-standards-attitudes-opinions... different!
However, for today's discussion and for the purpose of exploring this hypothesis of mine, I want to classify people into two categories:
1. Generous people
2. Selfish people
Hypothesis: Generous people are more likely to be happier than their selfish counterparts.
I also want to compare the potential advantages and benefits of each - being selfish versus being generous - and see which is more likely to lead to happiness (apparently what we all want).
Which group are you in?
Now admittedly some of us can switch groups from time to time, but I think when we really consider it, we can (secretly perhaps) classify most of the people we know into one group or the other. Not that we would, because obviously you and I aren't like that... but hypothetically, we could do it. If we were like that. But we're not. Mostly.
Of course it can get a little tricky when we start to discuss different kinds of generosity and selfishness (an individual may be financially generous but emotionally selfish for example) but I think we have an overall sense of whether or not a person is (generally speaking) generous or selfish.
Miserable Specimens
Think about that selfish person you know and ask yourself... are they happy? More than likely the answer will be no. I have never met a totally selfish person who is completely happy. By and large, they are miserable specimens. Yes we all have moments of selfishness but that's not what I'm talking about here; I'm talking about those people who are completely self-absorbed and totally unaware of other people's feelings or needs. The people who always put their needs above everybody else's. You know who. Typically their drive to please themselves only results in misery. The irony of it all being that, if they would only invest some time, energy and care into others (put their own desires on hold for a bit) they'd probably find what they've been missing all along.
E.T. meets C.H.
If you were an alien visiting our planet (as we all know aliens do) and you were here to gain insight into, and understanding of, the human happiness factor, you might watch some television to learn a little about the species, you may attend a 'happiness workshop' or two (although your big green antenae might be a give-away), you could read some magazines, buy a few self-help books, listen to some 'success' CDs, you might even google the term happiness (we all know how computer savvy aliens are) and overall you would do your best to observe humanity first hand without getting busted for being the extra-terrestrial that you are.
Who said self-help and science-fiction can't go hand in hand?
As an interested student of happiness, here's what you (you the extra-terrestrial) might learn from your preliminary 'research' into the subject:
1. Success = happiness. 2. Success is determined by what we own, how much we earn, where we live, how we look and how we are perceived by others. Apparently success is largely about how others see us.
You might also learn that to succeed (thereby creating happiness) you must: 3. Win at all costs - go hard or go home.
4. Look after number one because nobody else will - it's a jungle out there.
Which is all code for... be selfish. Although this is usually not taught directly, it's really the underlying premise for much of what we're taught about 'success.' But is happiness in the getting or the giving?
But when we step away from the 'sales pitch' of happiness and into the reality of life, what do we actually find? Who are the happiest people? Is there a pattern? What can we learn from different cultures, religions and groups of people? What I've learned:
1. Happiness and financial success are not necessarily linked (neither are they mutually exclusive).
2.Often the most generous people are the happiest (note that being generous should not be confused with being someone's door mat).
3. True happiness (an ongoing state of inner peace, calm and contentment) should not be confused with some temporary 'fix' or short-term high.
4. Being ambitious, driven and focused doesn't mean an individual is selfish. Many high-achievers are very generous people.
5. Being selfish usually leads to social and emotional disconnection... which leads to misery.
So when we step back from what the media tells us, the marketing, the hype, the razzle-dazzle, the success workshops, the get-rich-quick-schemes and the smoke machines, perhaps we'll discover that true happiness actually lies in the giving and not the getting.
Or maybe a little of each.
Tell me what you think by clicking on the comment thingy.
Hello you crazy funsters. No post today as it's been kind of a frantic weekend in Craigsville. We had our Melbourne RYL yesterday and it went off like a frog in a sock. Great group, lots of fantastic people, plenty of breakthroughs, plenty of light bulb moments and plenty of laughs. Right now my voice sounds like somebody has attacked my vocal chords with a cheese grater as I slept.
I'll be here to make you think tomorrow but in the mean time, enjoy your day and be amazing by choice.
Hi Guys. Take a look at book review 23 by the very lovely Victoria Mayhere. Feel free to comment on the reviewed book, to encourage our reviewer, or just say hi and add your thoughts. An update:
1. Well, today is the last Friday of our four-week SWL project.Hopefully some of you have managed to get the ball rolling in terms of changing some of those nasty habits of yours. You habits-changers know who you are and what I'm on about so click on the comment thingy, share your last update and tell us how you went over the four weeks. I look forward to your feedback.
2. Thanks a bunch for your feedback about the site yesterday. I found it most insightful, interesting and valuable. The over-whelming vibe seems to be... leave it as it is. So for the most part, that's what I'll do. In the early days (way back in 2006) the Bald Man and I did a bunch of video posts... we may re-introduce one (or so) of those each month - they're fun and people seemed to like them. Stay tuned.
3. I look forward to meeting all you RYLers at this Sunday's workshop here in sunny, warm, tropical Melbourne. Bring a coat. We're gonna have a rockin' day and plenty of fun so come with a great attitude and an expectation to be poked, prodded, challenged, educated, motivated and possibly offended... and you might just change your life. We have a few places left for any of you stragglers who may want to book in.
4. How would you like to work with me? Yep, I need a trainee Trainer (like an apprentice) for my Brighton centre (Harper's Personal Training). Once or twice a year we offer an eighteen month trainee-ship for a 'spectacular someone' who is looking to step into the big wide world of Personal Training. The successful applicant will be harassed and mistreated by Johnnie and I on a daily basis, be worked into the ground and make very little money for a year or so. I know, I know... it all sounds too good to be true. To join the team you will need to have a Certificate 4 in fitness and preferably little or no experience in the industry! How good is that?! If you're interested (why would you be?), send me some info by clicking on this link!
Enjoy your weekend team and here's a big hug( ) for anyone who wants one. And for all the alpha-male warriors who are uncomfortable with a man hug, here's a slap on the shoulder #!* and a firm manly handshake ><for you.
Yesterday we considered the fact that we are fast becoming a society of statues. A curious species who seem to have our collective asses permanently attached to a chair. Or preferably, a couch. We discovered that within a few years many of us will have identical movement patterns and daily activity levels to that of the Oak tree. Yep, it appears that many of us have become fat (seated) spectators in the game of life. Heavy sigh.
Fat sigh.
Moving towards a Solution So as I'm an Exercise Scientist and Personal Development Bloke, I thought it might be timely and appropriate for me to throw out one simple suggestion which might be a practical and realistic strategy to offset a little of that collective inactivity. A simple way to burn a bunch more cals, lose some weight and fat, improve our health, increase our fitness and get us in a better place emotionally and psychologically without even having to leave our lounge room (although we could do it anywhere). No use talking about problems unless we're serious about finding a solution. Otherwise we're just complaining.
Keeping it Simple
Note that what I am about to outline is not a global answer to obesity (of course) or a one-program-fits-all solution for the fat asses of the world. No, it's my way of showing how simple and effective exercising for weight-loss can be when we find a way, rather than find an excuse. While the moaning masses might be problem-focused, you and I are gonna be solution-focused. So there.
The following example is exactly that; an example of how practical and uncomplicated we can make the process of increasing our daily energy expenditure.
Some Interesting Facts:
1. The average Aussie watches about three hours of television per day - mostly in the evening. The figures are similar in the U.K. and actually a little higher in the States (according to the research I have).
2. Every hour of commercial prime-time television is programmed with about fifteen minutes of advertisements. Forty five minutes of show, fifteen minutes of ads - with the ads typically being broken up into five three(ish) minutes blocks.
3. An individual who regularly watches TV from 7.30pm - 10.30pm (for example) will be subjected to approximately forty five minutes of mind-numbing, ass-expanding ads every night.
The Suggestion
Use those three minute blocks to change your body and life.
A Question
What would happen over the course of a year if our average TV watcher got off the couch and did some simple, easy-to-do step-ups (stepping up and down on a box, step, platform) every time the ads were on? The answer is quite staggering.
Some Hypotheticals
The following hypothetical scenarios are based on the assumption that the only change in the subject's lifestyle (diet, incidental and occupational activity) is the inclusion of the fifteen three-minute bouts of stepping. The step height would be either eight or twelve inches (20 or 30cm). The estimated annual weight loss was calculated by dividing the total calories expended for the year (via stepping) by 3,500. See yesterdays article for clarification on the significance of the 3,500 figure.
Example 1. Weight of subject: 150 lbs (68 kgs)
Daily stepping commitment: 15 x 3 mins
Additional energy expended per day (8 inch box): 460 cals
Additional energy expended per day (12 inch box): 552 cals
Additional energy expended per year (8 inch box): 167,900 cals
Additional energy expended per year (12 inch box): 201,480 cals
Potential weight loss for the year (8 inch box):48 lbs (21.8 kgs) Potential weight loss for the year (12 inch box):57.6 lbs (26.1 kgs)
Example 2.
Weight of subject: 200 lbs (90.7 kgs)
Daily stepping commitment: 15 x 3 mins
Additional energy expended per day (8 inch box): 614 cals
Additional energy expended per day (12 inch box): 737 cals
Additional energy expended per year (8 inch box): 224,110 cals
Additional energy expended per year (12 inch box): 269,005 cals
Potential weight loss for the year (8 inch box):64 lbs (29 kgs)
Potential weight loss for the year (12 inch box):76.9 lbs (34.9 kgs)
Example 3. Weight of subject: 250 lbs (113.4 kgs)
Daily stepping commitment: 15 x 3 mins
Additional energy expended per day (8 inch box): 767 cals
Additional energy expended per day (12 inch box): 921 cals
Additional energy expended per year (8 inch box): 279,995 cals
Additional energy expended per year (12 inch box): 336,165 cals
Potential weight loss for the year (8 inch box):80 lbs (36.3 kgs) Potential weight loss for the year (12 inch box):96 lbs (43.5 kgs)
Wow! Freaky huh? Now, of course I'm not suggesting that we would, should or could (well, I guess we could if we really wanted to) step for forty five minutes every day for the next year, but what I am suggesting is that when we remove the emotion and the bullshit excuses, increasing our daily energy expenditure (thereby losing weight and fat) really ain't that complex. Unless of course we find a way to make it so. And no, what I've written above is not (in any way) intended to be a personal exercise prescription for any individual.
Who said disclaimer?
Some Final Thoughts
Naturally the heavier you are the more energy you will expend (cals you will burn) per unit of time, so simply adjust the numbers up or down by using the above weights and figures as a guide. Of course you could replace the step-ups with a number of alternatives and use your three minute intervals any way you choose. Activities such as stair walking, skipping, treadmill and stationary bike could all be viable options. There are a few other variables which will have some impact on precisely on how much energy you expend over your three minutes (like technique and intensity) but overall, the above figures will give you a good idea of what's possible.
I chose the old-fashioned step-up because it's cost effective, practical, convenient, requires no equipment (okay a box), no skill and is suitable for most fitness levels. It's also pretty handy at targeting the ass, hips and legs - per chance you should know somebody whose lower body is in need of some attention!
Okay, now I'd like you to do a little something for me. I would like your feedback on what type of articles you prefer me to write (health, fitness, motivational, creative, philosophical, thought-provoking, ass-kicking, humorous) and why. I know there will be a varied response to this one question but I would like to know why my readers come here, what type of content the majority prefer and how I can do what I do better. At the moment I am in the process of assessing how I do things here on the site - what needs to change, what should stay the same and what I should do differently to create a better product and to be more effective as a writer and educator.
If (for example) ninety five percent of you tell me that you don't want me writing health/fitness articles, then that's something I would take notice of and address. Any specific, relevant and constructive feedback on this matter would be welcomed.
However... I probably won't be changing my periodically-offensive, grammatically incorrect, conversational writing style any time soon. Sorry. No I'm not. Just click on the comment thingy and let me know what you think.
Thanks for your help.
As usual, love your thoughts and feedback on the above article too.
Okay, I've been doing some research into sit-down-itis; the scourge of modern society. Also the scourge of the modern gut. And the modern thunder-thigh. Initial scientific findings would suggest that as a population we've become... fat, lazy, pigs. Er, I mean less active than we once were. You may have missed it. In short, we have a propensity for stillness. Lack of movement. Stagnation. Let me know if I'm getting too technical for you. I'll slow it down a bit.
The medical and scientific types would tell you that our overall levels of incidental and occupational activity have been steadily declining for decades; which is geek-speak for... we sit on our asses more than ever.
The good old days - when we moved
Contrary to popular belief, our current obesity epidemic may not be because we're consuming mountains of extra calories; it could well be because we're expending mountains less. Yep, the average chubby Aussie expends about 800 calories less per day than he/she did one hundred years ago. I'm guessing the figure would be similar in the States and the U.K. but I'm not certain on that. Interestingly, the average Aussie only consumes about 5% more calories than his or her counterparts of fifty years ago. In truth, we hardly eat any more food than our grandparents did (although the quality of the food is a completely different discussion).
An Interesting Hypothetical
Let's assume that an individual is eating no more food (that is, they have the same calorie intake) this year compared to what they ate last year. Let's also assume that they have dropped their energy expenditure (via increased sitting perhaps) by the above-mentioned 800 calories per day. That would mean that this year (everything else being equal) they will expend 292,000 LESS calories than they did last year while maintaining the same calorie intake. With me?
Now, we know that 3,500 unused calories equate to one pound (0.45 kgs) of additional body-fat (remembering that fat is stored energy - unused calories), so when we divide those 292,000 calories by 3,500, we discover that our subject can effortlessly gain 83.4 lbs (40 kgs) of additional body-fat in one year without increasing his or her food intake by one single calorie!!!
Twinkie anyone?
While 'Mr and Mrs 1908' took about 20,000 steps per day on average, these days 'Mr and Mrs office worker' typically inhabit the 3 - 5,000 steps range. Take a look at how many people spend their average day...
Hypothetical day: (hours in brackets)
11.00 - 6.45 sleep (7.45) 7.15 - 7.45 sit for breakfast (.5) 8.00 - 8.30 sit while traveling (.5) 9.00 - 12.30 sit at desk (3.5) 12.40 - 1.25 sit for lunch (.75) 1.30 - 5.00 sit at desk (3.5) 5.15 - 6.00 sit while traveling (.75) 7.00 - 7.30 sit for dinner (.5) 7.30 - 11.00 sit to watch TV (3.5)
Total time spent sitting or lying:21.25 hours (90.6% of the 24-hour period)
Total time spent walking or standing:2.75 hours (9.4%)
While the above example may seem to be extreme and unlikely, it isn't. It's way more typical than you might think. At our current rate of progression, we'll all weigh six hundred and fifty seven pounds and move for three minutes a day by 2015.
Okay, I made the last bit up. But then, who knows?
Doing those equations and figuring out all those percentages has made me tired. I think I need to sit down for a while. Hang on... I am!
Enjoy your chair.
Share your thoughts with me on the sit-down generation by clicking on the comment thingy.
I get lots of great emails and letters every day (thank you) but one I received this morning really brought a smile to my face. I thought I'd share it with you. I've re-printed it exactly as I received it.
Subject: Thank you from Morocco
Dear Craig,
I've been reading your blog regularly since a long time (I can't even remember how long it's been), and it brought a lot to my life.
If I was to send you that mail two years ago, it would have been full of whining and complaining and a sort of quiet attempt to gather some compliments and encouragement.. I wouldn't refuse some compliments and a little encouragement right now, but let's say I grew up since then and I can write to you without waiting for anything in return... simply to say how thankful I am for the help you gave me and to let you know I am a big member of the Craig Harper fan club :D
I really enjoy reading your posts, they are witty, fun and very inspiring (you've been already told this... but still). I don't always do the homework you assign, but I stick close to the recommendation you give, try to get my own opinion and live by my values...
You do some really remarkable work, and I owe you a lot (of good humor, wise advice, motivation...). If you ever come by to Morocco, you've got a disciple... euuh I mean a friend here. And by the way, my birthday is next Monday, so if you're coming by, don't bother with a gift, a little red mini cooper will do it :p
Sincerely yours
Houda
Thanks Houda, if they have cheesecake in Morocco I'm on my way! The Mini Cooper is in the post - it was a bitch to wrap! And don't even talk to me about licking all those stamps. I hope I continue to inspire you and make you laugh. ( )
On with today's post..
I've spoken before about the importance of asking ourselves the right type of questions, so thought it might be time to develop that discussion a little more and share with you from my own experience.
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."- Albert Einstein
Sometimes success or failure, joy or misery, answers or problems, productivity or stagnation, excitement or frustration, learning or regression, pain or pleasure all comes back to the questions we ask ourselves. So often the key to creating positive change and better outcomes in our lives simply comes down to asking the right questions. And the right type of questions. The quality questions. The questions which lead us to self-improvement and self-discovery rather than self-pity. The "what can I learn from this" rather than the "why does this always happen to me" questions.
The tallest (and richest) man in motivation, Tony Robbins, preaches that"quality questions create a quality life." Sound advice from the big fella.
Today I thought I would share with you my all-time fave state-changing, reality-changing, result-producing questions. Feel free to use them. They have served me well. Here we go...
1. What can I learn from this experience?
2. What are my core values (standards, beliefs, principles) and do I live a life consistent with those values?
3. What will I do different next time? (How will I create a better result next time?)
4. How do others perceive me?
5. What can I learn from the experience of others?
6. How do I need to communicate with this person in this situation to create the best outcome?
7. How can I be more effective and less emotional?
8. What is stopping me from using more of my potential and creating better results in my life?
9. What are my non-negotiable behaviours?
10. How can I be a positive influence in the lives of others?
11. What is the best investment of my time, energy and skills right now?
12. What am I grateful for?
13. What do I believe? What is my truth?
14. What am I scared of?
15. How did I contribute to this problem?
I hope these questions prove to be as valuable for you as they have been for me. Ask them, answer them and take some action and you might just change your life.
Click on the comment thingy and share with us the one question that gives you a reality check and kicks you back into action. Ciao.
Rules which can be either empowering or destructive, personal or global, legal or moral. Rules which can dictate our day to day behaviour. Consciously or not, we do and don't do certain things because of these rules. Some of them are generally accepted standards of behaviour for a particular situation or environment and some of them are rules we've created for ourselves over time. Some of them give our life order, predictability and a level of security and some of them do nothing but make our journey one of frustration, fear, self-limitation and under-achievement.
Kids
As kids we have rules at home (clean your room, respect your parents), rules at school (wear your uniform, don't copy the smart kid's work), rules in our social group (defend your friends, don't wear certain clothes), rules on the sporting field (don't argue with the ref), rules in the school yard, rules on the school bus and even rules about what music we should or shouldn't listen to.
Adults
As we get older we add a whole new bunch of rules to the list; rules on the road, rules at work (official and unofficial), rules from the government, rules from the police, relationship rules, eating rules, moral rules (standards), religious rules (faith, beliefs) money rules... too many rules!
They don't all make sense
In many situations and environments we're told what we can and can't do. For example, where I live in Melbourne, if I want to drive with a phone in my hand there's a rule about that; it's illegal. But if I want to drive with a chicken sandwich in my hand there's a different rule; it's legal. Phone at my ear while driving - not okay. Shoving food in my gob while driving - fine. And no, I'm not suggesting we do either. If I drive along the freeway near my house (speed limit 100 kph - 60 mph) at 105 kph in my car with ten air bags, seat belts and lots of other safety features, I am breaking the law and can be fined. However, if I ride along the same freeway at 100 kph on my motorbike in a singlet, a pair of shorts and bare feet with a five year old kid on the back wearing zero protective clothing (other than a helmet), I'm not breaking the law. Yes, I'm being stupid (and possibly breaking my own personal rule) but no, I'm not breaking the 'official' rule about what's acceptable behaviour on the road in my home state.
The Drug Cheat
If I'm a thirty year-old female who's putting synthetic estrogen (the dominant female hormone) into my body, then I'm doing something quite normal and acceptable; using birth control pills. Unless of course you ask the Catholic Church - then I'm doing something quite wrong. Confusing I know. Mainstream society has a rule which says that women putting synthetic estrogen into their bodies is okay. Smart even. Responsible perhaps. If, on the other hand, I'm a thirty year-old male putting synthetic testosterone into my body (the dominant male hormone), then I'm a meat-head, steroid freak or drug cheat. An irresponsible fool. The rules tell me so.
The cancer-causing drug? Sure, how many packs would you like?
If I want to walk into a store to buy some Voltaren 50's (an anti-inflammatory medication) for my sore ankle, I can't. There's a rule which tells me that I can't access them without permission (a prescription) from a doctor. No biggie. But if I want to walk into the same store looking to buy ten packs of cancer-causing, highly-addictive cigarettes, no problem. That's the rule.
Of course some rules are valuable and worthwhile, some are beyond our control, some are confusing and contradictory, some don't impact on us at all, some handicap us and some protect us. And then there are those rules which impact on us the most; the ones we create for ourselves.
Personal Rules for Living
Consciously or not, we have all created our own rules for living. Acceptable and unacceptable behaviours for us individually - what we've decided we can and can't, should and shouldn't, will and won't do. I have 'Craig rules', just like you have 'you rules'. Some of our rules protect us and give us stability, familiarity, confidence and security (what we're comfortable with) and some empower us. And then there are the self-imposed rules which ruin lives and stop us from exploring, maximising and developing our potential.
For years I have spoken to talented people who are under-achieving or living a life of frustration and pain because of self-imposed rules. Rules like these:
1. I won't take a chance. I won't risk failure (it's too painful). 2. I won't accept or act on constructive feedback (they're just being nasty and critical anyway). 3. I'll eat what I want, when I want (I'm here for a good time, not a long time). 4. I can't cry or express my emotions because I'm a man (I'll be labelled weak). 5. I will never disappoint my parents/partner (so I'll continue to do what makes them happy and me miserable). 6. I don't enjoy exercise so I won't do it (hopefully I won't enjoy a heart attack or a stroke either). 7. When someone pays me a compliment, I will dismiss it (they don't mean it anyway). 8. If I tell the truth, nobody will understand (so I'll continue to live a lie). 9. I don't have the talent or potential, so I won't try (I know my limitations). 10. If it's uncomfortable I won't do it (what's the point?).
Better than a Mac
Despite what the marketing people would have us believe, the most amazing computer on the planet is in fact not a Mac, it's you. I know you may not always feel like it, but it's true - unless of course you have a rule about it! Unfortunately, many of us waste what we've got by running faulty programs and letting too much spam infiltrate our brain. A Mac can't think independently and create it's own operational rules... but you can.
* Let us know your thoughts on this post by clicking on the comment thingy and sharing from your own experiences or thoughts. If you'd like to receive articles like this automatically, simply click on the 'subscribe to this feed' thingy at the bottom of this post and become a subscriber.
Yep, it's that time again; it's nearly the end of week three (of our Shove with LoveProject) and it's time for you habitchangers to report in as instructed. You know the drill - click on the comment thingy and tell us how you're travelling with your 28-day commitment to change that stinky, sucky, yucky habit.
I've had a busy week travelling and speaking so I apologise for the reduced amount of personal development content this week, but I should be back up to speed next week. You can always dock my pay. Or stop talking to me.
Just got back in to Melbourne a few hours ago (I'm writing this Thursday 7pm) after darting up to Wollongong and Sydney for the day to give a presentation to the good folk at Alinta (the power people). They are a great bunch. I had to speak at 9am this morning in Wollongong, then get a car back to Sydney and then fly back to Melbourne this afternoon to be home by four(ish). A simple enough plan. No major problems. It all went swimmingly.
Forty Feet of Embarrassment
However (of course there's a however), when I finished my presentation I had some breakfast and then meandered outside to the place where I was told my car and driver would be waiting to take me to Sydney airport. So I did as I was told. And there they were; my driver and my car. The very lovely Jenny. And her forty foot long white stretch limousine complete with bar and entertainment system to take me to the airport. I may as well have had 'wanker' tattooed on my forehead.
I stood there staring at the car in disbelief. For what seemed like an eternity, I agonised over where to sit; the front (where I could be seen) or the back (which would confirm my wanker-ness beyond any doubt). What a dilemma. I opted for the front. To me stretch limos are kind of like breast implants - they stick out in traffic and say "hey look at me, I need some attention." They also say "I'm a big, insecure tool." (limos not breast implants).
The Middle-aged Pimp
So there I sat for my one hour trip looking like a middle-aged pimp up front in my big white ride. If I had some bling, a pair of platform shoes, a greasy wig and a jump suit, I could have easily been Gene Symonds. Every thirty seconds someone would stare from a passing car to see who was travelling in the porn star limo. I did my best to avoid eye contact but when I did inadvertently catch a glimpse of a passing motorist, they looked kind of disappointed to discover that sitting in front seat of the ridiculously long car next to them was... nobody in particular! I felt like holding up a sign that said 'not famous, don't waste your energy.'
Anyway, Jenny delivered me safely to Sydney airport and was the consummate professional. To be honest I expected paparazzi to be present as I alighted from the aforementioned vehicle but alas, there were none.
Clearly I wasn't wearing enough bling.
I'll see some of you Melbourne-ites at our get-together tomorrow and I'll see the rest of you (kind of) on Monday. Have a ripper weekend (ripper - Aussie for great). Ciao x
Hi Guys, hope you're having an ace week. I'm off to Wollongong today to share some Craig love with a group of corporates, so it's planes, cabs and airport coffee for me. Before we get under way with today's post, a couple of reminders:
1. Tomorrow is update day for you Habit Changers (you know who you are). 2. Don't forget that our Melbourne get-together is this Saturday. I'll be wearing my party dress (and pumps) so it will be well worth the trip.
On with the show.... The Party Animal
About three weeks ago I was doing a late-night workout at home. Tragic, I know. Clearly a single male with a massive social life. Pathetic. Anyway, there I was lifting some weights (huge weights) and in between sets (of my super-human lifting) I would walk out of my toasty warm house and into the cool of the night air to regulate my body temperature down a little and catch my breath. So there I was, standing on the front lawn (my huge, lean, muscular, body glistening in the moonlight - sorry couldn't help m'self), in the middle of winter at eleven thirty at night in my bare feet and to my surprise, it felt kinda good. A little weird, but overall, good. And there was a hint of deja vu about it.
The Feet-toughening Ritual
The contrast between my heated house (25C - 77F) and the winter air (5C - 41F) was breath-taking and somewhat invigorating. I took a little stroll (sixty seconds) on the path out the front of my place in bare feet and it made me realise how soft I had become in my old(er) age. I remembered as a kid how tender my feet would be after walking around in shoes and socks all winter and all those memories of walking barefoot outside for the first time each summer came flooding back. For a moment I was eight years old and the tiniest little pebbles were giving my soft feet grief. I loved that annual ritual of re-toughening my feet every summer. By about week four I could walk on broken glass. Almost. As I stood there in the cold and the still of the night, in my middle-aged (but incredibly muscular) body, I wondered why I ever stopped walking in bare feet. It's so much fun and there's something liberating about it.
When I finished my late-night workout I decided to go for a brief walk before bed to cool down and stretch my legs. By then it was nearly midnight and standing there in my shorts, my singlet and no shoes, I considered what clothes I might put on before I headed out into the cool of the night. As he does periodically, eight year-old Craig piped up... "why don't you go out like that you boring, predictable old fart? Stop being so safe and sensible. Maybe a little barefoot walk in the cool of the night is just what you and your precious little feet need?" The eight year-old was right; sometimes I'm too logical and sensible. Too routine. Too thesame. Do you ever feel like that?
Flicking off the Logic Switch
Before the boring forty four year-old could interject with any common sense, I found myself walking the streets of Hampton at midnight in a singlet, shorts and no shoes. The ground was cold and harsh on my pathetically soft feet but I loved every second of it. The air was so cold that I had steam coming off my body for the first half of the walk and goose bumps for the rest. It felt good to be doing something that didn't really make sense. Sometimes I hate logic, it simply gets in the way of fun and change. Sometimes what we need, is illogical. And all too often our mind simply gets in the way of progress and of learning new things. Or old things again. At that point I hadn't quite figured out why, but I found the experience of walking barefoot in the cold night air to be a totally therapeutic experience for me. The next day I told Johnnie and Mikey. They thought I was even weirder than normal. I didn't care. I probably am. Some part of me wanted to do it - so I listened and complied.
Better than Cheesecake
I got home from my walk after midnight and my mind and body felt fantastic. Sure my feet looked a little like hamburger, but it was all worth it! I have repeated my late-night, barefoot adventure nearly every night since that initial walk and I'm totally addicted. I'll be walking on broken glass by next Tuesday. Or not. Most nights I walk around eleven-thirty(ish) and I love the silence, the stillness, the cold and the ground under my bare feet. My life is so hectic but this time for me is the exact opposite; it's bliss. Last night I did a five kilometre barefoot trek at midnight and it was better than cheesecake.
I don't really know why I felt compelled to share this little snapshot of my life with you today, but I did. Maybe because something so simple and so unlikely has given the weird old ex-bodybuilder so much unexpected joy. I know this isn't really ground-breaking personal development but sometimes the simple stuff is the best stuff. If you don't believe me, get your shoes off and give it a go.
I would love to hear about that quirky, weird little thing you do to relax, unwind, de-stress and re-connect with eight year-old you. Click on the comment thingy and spill yer guts. I won't tell anyone. Promise.
Today's title reminds me of one of those stupid Rick Moranis movies... "Honey, I shrunk the family". Oh well.
As you may or may not know, I work on a television show here in Australia called 9AM on the Ten Network. It screens nationally every weekday morning from 9 - 11 am. I am the resident on-air fitness bloke and I do my best to cover a broad range of subject matter which will be of value and interest to as many people as possible. A few months ago my producer (the lovely Becky Zack) came up with the notion of doing a family fitness make-over, with the idea being that I would work with a family which was in need of a little shaping up. Or perhaps a lot of shaping up. I would spend time with them and create an overall strategy to change their diet, their lifestyle habits, their exercise habits, their thinking, their pantry contents and of course, their bodies. One of my trainers and I (thanks Robbie) would also work with them in the gym, taking them through numerous workouts and I would give them unlimited access to my centre and facilities outside of their set training times.
The Bulte family wins.... me!
Well, it happened. Families were asked to write in to the show and state their case as to why they were the clan most in need of some Craig love, some body renovating and some lifestyle overhauling. We had letters and emails from hundreds of families from all over the country but the decision makers finally settled on the Bulte family from Victoria. And what a great bunch they are; Darryl and Kerry (the folks), Guy (17) Jenelle (15), Monique (14) and Makayla (11). While Guy and Makayla were fit and trim, the other four were in need of a little... modifying.
I've done similar things to this concept before and I gotta say, it's kind of a high-risk exercise from a credibility point of view. Especially on national television. What happens if I give them the education, the motivation, the support and all the resources but they simply don't do it? What happens if we give the concept a whole heap of publicity and then they throw in the towel after two weeks? What if their attitude sucks? What if they leave the gym after each workout and head straight for the golden arches? Well fortunately for all of us, they didn't. They have been perfect students and their report cards have been amazing.
Considering surgery
Kerry, Darryl, Jenelle and Monique all needed to lose weight, with Jenelle needing to drop the most. At 109 kilos (240lbs), fifteen year-old Jenelle's weight was a major health concern. So much so that the week before they entered the competition, she had attended an information evening on gastric bypass surgery. With the support of her concerned parents, she was seriously considering the surgical option, having tried unsuccessfully to lose weight many times before. Well, I'm sure glad she didn't have that operation and now, so is she.
In the ten weeks that I've been working with the Bulte family they have managed to completely turn their lives around. Different diet, different habits different mindset and different bodies.
A peek at their progress so far:
Darryl (bottom right) - minus 20 kgs (44 lbs) Kerry (bottom left) - minus 9 kgs (20 lbs) Jenelle (white shirt) - minus 16 kgs (35 lbs) - no surgery for this girl! Monique (top right) - minus 11 kgs (24 lbs)
Total weight loss: 56 kgs (123 lbs)
How great is that? Every day I get asked about the secret to the Bulte family's amazing transformation and when I say that they have simply done what I asked them to do (eat less, move more and be consistent), my response is often met with disappointment. No, it's not an exciting strategy but it's an effective one! It's seems that the enquirer is usually hoping for some miracle, quick-fix secret to come from my lips. Sorry Dude, no magic here. Just some sweat, some hard work and some great attitudes.
Change your psychology to change your physiology
While the physical transformations have been great, what has impressed me the most is their collective mindset. These guys are in the zone. Get your head in shape and your body will follow. Even Jenelle who "just couldn't lose weight" has it falling off her. Not because all of a sudden she has any more ability, but because her thinking and her attitude have totally changed. As I have said squillions of times, getting in shape and staying that way is more about our head than it is about our body.
The future
We know that ten weeks ain't a lifetime but our family is well on their way. While I'm very proud of them for what they've done in ten weeks, I'm much more interested in what they do over the next ten years. My official commitment with the family finishes in a couple of weeks but I have decided to continue working with young Jenelle indefinitely. I believe she could lose the best part of 45 kgs (100 lbs) and I'm going to help her get there. I'll keep you updated on their progress.
Hey Funsters, I'm back!! Miss me? It's okay, you can admit it. I missed ya'll a little. Today's post is long and brutal so you may wanna get comfortable and take a few deep breaths before you get under way. I hope you had a great weekend and plenty of fun. On with the show...
The return of Velvet Sledgehammer
Do you mind if I'm blunt today? Is that okay with you? If not, you may prefer to come back tomorrow and we'll all hold hands and sing one rousing chorus of Kumbaya by the camp fire. The cyber camp fire of course. Then we'll all hug and say nice things about each other. We love nice. And we're all so good at it. Well, most of us. Me - not so good. I must have missed that lesson. So if it's some feel-good, hand-holding, back-slapping, warm-fuzzy personal development experience you're after today, then this little chat probably ain't gonna do it for you. But as some genius once said, I can tell you what you wanna hear, or I can tell you the truth. Often what we want to hear (what's comfortable) and what we need to hear (where the growth and change comes) are two very different things.
So I'm gonna say a few things which won't sit well with some folk, but if the truth be known (what a funny expression that is), they're probably the people who need to hear and respond to this message the most. Besides, I majored in feather-ruffling at college so why would I waste that very important life-skill and all those classes?
You, only better
We all know that the success journey is a multi-dimensional, complex and at times, difficult process. And while there are many factors and variables to be negotiated in the creating-our-best-life process, sometimes achieving life-changing, mind-blowing, ass-kicking results all comes down to one thing; toughness. Mental and emotional toughness. Our ability to do the hard stuff, the uncomfortable things, the difficult things. The things which create real change and the things most people avoid. The things which force us to grow, adapt, change, learn, develop new skills and ultimately, become the new-and-improved version of us. You, only better.
The truth is that most of us are educated enough, smart enough and talented enough to create amazing results in our life, but when it really comes down to it, so often, we're just not tough enough. Well, we haven't been so far. Sure it's in there somewhere, but for some reason we choose not to go there. When the going gets tough we're nowhere to be seen. Vapour. You'll find us down some dark alley reaching into the excuse bag. Again.
Knowing what to do isn't the problem
The truth is, more often than not we know exactly what the answer to our problem is but the answer freaks us out because it ain't easy; it's hard and we hate hard. We're scared of hard. We have nightmares about hard and we avoid it at all costs. Knowing what the answer is, isn't our problem; it's doing it that's the problem. Okay here comes the potentially offensive part. Feel free to leave at any time. Look away now.
You're still here. Thrill seeker.
The deal-breaker
Let's take the fat guy who wants to lose weight, is embarrassed by his obese body and hates the way he looks and feels but continues to over-eat anyway. He absolutely knows what the answer is - eat way less and exercise more. It's kind of a no-brainer. An uncomfortable no-brainer. Yep, the solution to his problem is obvious, logical, effective, safe and scientifically sound... it's also hard work. Oh well, five out of six ain't bad. Pity number six is the deal breaker for most people. That's not the answer he's looking for because it requires him to get uncomfortable and do what's hard on a regular basis; to toughen up. So as a result he will spend his days looking for an answer which doesn't require any effort, sacrifice or toughness. That's how we ended up being part of the quick-fix generation; we love those solutions which don't require any effort. The pill, the powder, the potion, the miracle cure - anything that doesn't require sweat, discomfort, discipline, self-control or toughness.
"But Craig you don't understand all of my issues."
"Yes Big Fella, of course you are unique to mankind and nobody has faced the challenges or adversity that you have, but hey, why don't you stop eating all that crap and move your fat self anyhow? I know you were picked on at school but please don't kill yourself with pizza and beer because some idiot gave you a hard time twenty years ago. Let's see what happens when your calorie expenditure actually exceeds your intake. You may even lose weight. I know the calorie concept is a little 1983, but why don't you give it a bash anyway? Call me crazy, call me old-fashioned. What's that? You're offended? Oh, I'm sorry. How dare I be honest and practical. Well, getting offended is a choice too. As is getting educated and proactive about your unhealthy body, your destructive habits and your self-limiting thinking. By the way, fat is not an insult; it's a physiological state. But if you want to get all precious on me and find another way to sabotage yourself for a little longer, feel free to sulk for another month or three. Throw yourself another one of those pity parties you're so good at. Or perhaps medicate yourself with some more of that cake you've been inhaling for the last five years. After all you deserve it, that nasty man has been picking on you."
Toughen up you great big baby. There ain't no miracle cure or quick fix. I know they told you there is, they lied. You're the problem... and the solution. So get some balls and change your life.
You're still here? Gutsy.
Can't or won't?
Now... let's talk about the smoker who just can't give up cigarettes. She has tried a hundred times but never lasted more than two weeks. She has visited doctors and psychologists, used nicotine patches, gone cold turkey (for three days), tried the gradual reduction method, chewed the gum and even made brave public declarations, only to be smoking as many as ever twenty years down the track. Apparently she "just can't do it" and "she's tried everything."
So, is it that she can't stop smoking (as in, she doesn't actually have the ability) or that she won't stop smoking because it's too hard? Yes, I know that smoking is addictive and yes I know that it's very tough to give up, but what I'm asking is... is it possible for Mrs 'I-can't-do-it' to stop smoking? Of course it is. Is it easy? No. Will it be uncomfortable? Yes. Will it be fun? Probably not. Will she hate it? At times. But... is it possible? Of course it is. People do it every day.
Gilligan's Island
So what happens when our smoker is involved in a maritime disaster, her boat sinks and she gets washed up on a deserted island? Forced to live the rest of her days with the coconuts, the seagulls, the fresh fish, the white sand, the palm trees... and no cigarettes? She never smokes again - that's what happens. Does she die from lack of nicotine within the first month? No, she actually gets healthier and enjoys the fresh air. So what does that tell us? It tells us that when smoking wasn't an option she simply didn't smoke anymore. Was it hard? Yep, for a while. Did she have a different mindset knowing that she couldn't smoke. Yep. So the woman who couldn't stop smoking... stopped smoking. The truth is she could have stopped (permanently) at any time, she just didn't want it enough. When she doesn't have the option of smoking anymore (on her new tropical home) she simply copes. She has no choice. When we have no choice, we adapt. We change. We do what needs to be done. The physical addiction was only part of her problem, the bigger challenge was for her to mentally and emotionally move beyond the possibility of smoking - to make it a non-negotiable behaviour for the rest of her life. The ability to change was always there, but not the mindset.
Cold turkey
About ten years ago I trained a very successful high-profile business man here in Melbourne. The day we met, we had a typical one hour consultation to explore his history, his lifestyle, his medical issues, his training background and of course, his goals. In the first ten minutes I discovered that he smoked (are you sitting down) one hundred cigarettes per day (no, not a typo). I didn't even know it was humanly possible to smoke that much. I told him that he should get a complete medical check-up, start a walking program, change his diet, drink some water and drastically reduce his smoking (preferably give up completely) before I could train him. Training him while he smoked a hundred cigarettes a day would be about as healthy and productive as hitting him in the head with a spanner for an hour each day.
He said to me, "what if I give up today, will you train me from tomorrow?" I was amused by the thought but didn't for one moment think that the bloke who had smoked for thirty years would or could stop cold turkey. I told him he wouldn't do it and to come and see me in a few months. What did I know? Not much. My words were like a red rag to a bull.
Stairs and whispers
The cigarette he had before that meeting was the last one he ever had. The following day he got a medical clearance to work out with me (don't know how) and we started training two days after that initial chat. The first month was tough but not intolerable for him and by week two he was starting to feel quite different. By week six he was feeling amazing and at the end of week ten he and I completed an event called the Rialto Run; a event where competitors run up a trillion stairs from the bottom to the top of the Rialto Building here in Melbourne. From memory I think it's about fifty six floors (112 flights). Sure, he came nearly last - but he did it. Even I was freaked out by what the human body is capable of. Ten years later, he still trains, doesn't drink alcohol and doesn't smoke. Although it's impossible to prove, I believe the decision he made that day (and his subsequent behaviour) added at least twenty five years to his life. Was is tough? Yep. Was it worth it? What do you think?
Throwing in the towel
Our biggest barrier to creating our best life ain't our genetics, our age, our boss, our potential, our knowledge or our financial situation, it's our propensity to constantly give up at the slightest sign of discomfort. As hard as it may be to hear, sometimes we simply need to stop feeling sorry for ourselves, stop rationalising our behaviours, stop making excuses (that's why they're called excuses and not reasons), get some balls (figuratively speaking) and do what we should have done long ago. Stop looking for easy and start doing effective - to toughen up.
Oh yeah but...
For years I have discussed and debated my thoughts on this subject with some of my colleagues. Some totally agree, some are fence sitters and some tell me that I'm over-simplifying a very complicated issue. To the last group I say maybe you're over-complicating a very simple issue. And maybe all that psychological jargon you throw around is simply another way of saying that sometimes we're just not tough enough to get the job done.
* Let us know your thoughts on this post by clicking on the comment thingy and sharing from your own experiences or thoughts. If you'd like to receive articles like this automatically, simply click on the 'subscribe to this feed' thingy at the bottom of this post and become a subscriber.
Hope you have had, or are having, a great weekend (depending on what hemisphere you're in I guess). I'm still having a teeny-weeny blogging break but I'll be back on deck tomorrow with a thought-provoking and confronting post on why toughness is a necessary (but rarely explored or explained) ingredient in the success recipe.
It was great to see the updates from all you habit-changers last Friday - keep up the good work. Don't forget that our Melbourne get-together is this coming Saturday. So if you're in town and you would like to step out of the cyber world and into reality and hang out with Johnnie and I for a while, we'd love to see you there. Details are as follows:
Hope you've all had a fab week so far and I hope you're doing different to create different. I'm having a few days off (that's different) and resting my tired little (okay, big) self at the beach. If you listen very closely you can probably hear my cells applauding from where you are. I will be reading and responding to your comments but I won't be posting a new article until Tuesday next week (Melbourne time).
So today is report day for you28-day habit changers. We're almost at the half-way point of our little group project so it's time for some of you to click on the comment thingy and give us that weekly update. Be brave. Good or bad, I want to hear how you're travelling. It's important that you get used to the notion of being accountable when you've made a commitment to complete a task - even if you're struggling.
Yeah, yeah.. I know this is up a day early but I'm taking the next few days off writing. Crazy I know. Call me lazy. I will be reading and responding to your comments but will be luxuriating at the beach for a day or three, getting some sand between my toes and some cold sea air in my city-slicker lungs. Nice. Remember, tomorrow (Friday) is update day for you 28-day habit changersso make sure you check in and tell us how you're tracking. Stay accountable Groovers. Don't make me come over there and kick your ass. On with today's (or is it tomorrow's?) post....
Emotional Quicksand.
Well, Tuesday's post on stress generated plenty of interest (the normal comments plus a bunch of emails). Not surprising, considering the busy, frantic world we live in. The truth is that many of us manage everything in our lives very effectively except... us! Yep, we do our best to ensure that everything is in tip-top shape; our career, our business, our property portfolio, our finances, our social calendar, our vehicles, our wardrobe (all the external stuff)... if only we invested the same amount of time and energy into managing our own mental and emotional health (the internal stuff). Some of us live (proudly) in our magnificent homes and drive our impressive cars while simultaneously living in emotional quicksand - feeling like we could sink and stop breathing at any moment.
It's a personal thing
Managing stress is like managing our diet and exercise in that there's no one-approach-fits-all solution to effectively rid the world of stress. It's sounds funny but stress is a very personal and individual thing. Just like with our eating and training, we need to figure out what works for us personally when it comes to living a calm, relaxed and stress-free life. What might relax one person and give them great joy, could be a source of stress for another. For example, put me in the ocean and I'm a happy, stress-free little blogger. Wind in my face, waves crashing on my head, sand in my butt crack - pure bliss. Do you have that visual?
Mary in the ocean
Put my gorgeous mother in the same place and she's a panic-stricken, highly-stressed, fearful, wet individual. She would rather hit herself in the head with a spanner than go swimming in the ocean - after all, it's cold, it's dangerous, there's lots of creepy things and it will totally ruin her make-up! Not to mention those big things that eat you! Oh yeah, she can't swim either - that ain't gonna help those stress levels. Drowning is not really on her to-do list.
Ronnie on the motorbike
I've been riding motorbikes on the road for twenty six years (please don't give me that lecture, I've had three thousand of them). Put me on a motorbike and I'm happy, relaxed and having fun. No stress, no worrying, just me on my bike producing happy hormones. Put my dad on the back and it's a whole different story. He hates motorbikes. While I'm on the front enjoying my stress-free state, the old-fella (love you Ron) is on the back drowning in cortisol (that destructive hormone we produce when we're stressed), every muscle in his body is contracted, his heart rate is seven hundred and there ain't any fun or joy in sight. For him.
We create it
How interesting; two people going through the same thing at the same time (a motorbike ride), each having totally different experiences and responses. Why? Because we create our own experiences and responses, that's why - irrespective of what appears to be going on! We create stress (and calm). Stress isn't about the situation, circumstances or environment, it's about you and me in it - it's about how we're personally impacted. Things don't create stress, we do. That's one of the barriers for most people - understanding this simple truth. Yes, certain things may be triggers for you, but ultimately you produce that stress-response because it is your personal reaction to, or interpretation of, what's happening. Capiche?
Happy hormones
Notice that my father and I were having completely different emotional and psychological responses (to the same event), which in turn produced totally different physical responses in each of us individually (happy hormones, nasty hormones, elevated heart rate, low heart rate, total body spasm, loose as a goose). Although we were both doing the same thing at the same time, in our own personal realities (we all create our own reality - we think we live in the world but we actually live in our head) we were individually having quite different experiences.
The spinning round-house kick
So when the psychologist tells the twenty five year-old stressed kickboxer to sit in a grassy field and meditate for an hour each day, the good doc might just end up with a spinning round-house kick to the back of the scone (head) because he doesn't really understand how his patient is wired or what will be an effective strategy for him personally. Different things work for different people, so there is no universally effective generic stress management strategy. As with food and exercise, your body knows what it needs when it comes to managing stress but you need to stop ignoring it. It will constantly tell you what it wants and doesn't want but you need to listen and respond accordingly. Sadly, we've become very good at ignoring and over-riding the signals our body sends us. "No, I'm not really full... can you pass me some more pie?"
1-800-kaftan
Sure I can tell you to get yourself a golden retriever, listen to relaxing music in the car, hang a boxing bag in the garage, spend time in nature, roll around on the floor with your kids, paint your office a more relaxing colour, invest in a weekly massage from Sven, express yourself creatively, get your toes in some sand, feel the sea breeze on your face, meditate in your special chair, buy yourself a kaftan and some slip on yellow shoes, burn some lavender oil, keep a diary, get yourself a lover, express your emotions more and watch re-runs of your favourite comedy... but then again, maybe you just need a really fast motorbike and a pet rat called Kevin.
I would love to know how you manage your stress. Just click on the comment thingy and tell me your strategy....
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G'day Team, before we get to today's book review.. a brief update:
1. My neck is a lot better - thanks for the cyber-love and well wishes. 2. For those of you who haven't been here for a day or two, our Melbourne get-together has been shifted back a week. Sorry bout that! The new details are as follows...
Hope to see you there for a chat, a weak-skim-decaf-organic-soy-latte-in-a-glass, some arm wrestling with Johnnie, a little baked cheesecake and a few laughs.
3. Don't forget, there's only two and a half weeks until our MelbourneRYL Program. There are about ten places remaining, so if you need a day of inspiration or your life is in need of some serious renovating, send Johnniean email or call him on (03) 9553 8857 during business hours to book your place.
4. I know some of you have been spinning your wheels a little with your twenty eight day commitment to change that nasty habit of yours but keep doing what you need to do and don't let your emotions get in the way of what's possible. An important part of the journey is overcoming disappointment and setbacks. Having setbacks doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. Welcome to the club. Falling over isn't the problem, not getting up is the problem. The one who keeps getting up is usually the one who succeeds. Make sure you update us every Friday, not for our sake but for your accountability.
Book Review: Okay, take a look at book review 22 by Dianne Davidson here. Feel free to comment on the reviewed book, to encourage our reviewer, or just say hi and add your thoughts.
The other night I was watching television with great interest as a journalist interviewed a ninety year-old bloke who still runs his own business, is sharp as a tack and as productive, funny, creative and happy as ever. He is an artist who sculpts, draws and paints and with the help of his young (sixty five year-old) wife, manages his own successful commercial art gallery. He also teaches (and entertains) budding Picassos.
His positive attitude and his laugh were infectious. He flirted (harmlessly) with the female interviewer, he wheeled out a string of witty one-liners and he was clearly a charismatic, charming and engaging character who loves life. He made the interviewer laugh so much that she had to stop and regain her composure several times.
Finding the Good
During the interview it became clear that our artist was the eternal optimist. He had an amazing ability to find the good and to find a reason to be happy. Not too long after his first wife passed away from cancer he started to have coffee (tea actually) with one of his "sexy young students", who would become his second wife within twelve months. "I loved my first wife very much, but she wouldn't want me to sit around moping", he said.
The other thing which captured my attention during the story was the ever-present cigarette between the fingers or lips of our artist. When the interviewer questioned him about his apparent good health, he put it all down to laughing and having fun. "My goal in life is not money or accolades" he said, "it's to laugh as often as possible, to do what I love with people I love and to have fun. While others do all kinds of strange things to their bodies and spend their lives worrying about getting sick, my health plan is laughter and fun."
Confusion
So there the 'fitness expert' sat in his hotel room (I was interstate) somewhat conflicted. Here was this old guy who's been smoking for seventy (or so) years, who has outlived the average western male by over a decade and is still going strong! That's not meant to happen. Shouldn't he have died long ago? Throw into the equation the fact that he eats meat daily (apparently that's gonna kill you), has a beer or two most days and has never been near a gym in his life and you need to ask a few questions. Of course the experts are gonna say it's just dumb luck or amazing genetics but what if it's not?
What if he's done something (consciously or not) which has enabled him to reach his tenth decade on the big blue ball in such good shape despite his lifestyle, despite his lack of exercise and despite his liking for charred animal flesh?
Well, he has.
Killing Ourselves with Stress
Without knowing it (but then maybe on some level he did), he has avoided the biggest health risk in western society; stress (and all the destructive, cancer-causing hormones and chemicals it produces). While so many of his contemporaries have worried themselves into sickness and an early grave, the happy artist has laughed his way into old age.
Consider these factors:
He is passionate about what he does, he experiences joy every day, he laughs a lot, his life has meaning and purpose, he is appreciated and needed, he loves people and is loved in return, he is creative and expresses that creativity, his mind is stimulated and challenged, he is still learning, he is optimistic, he chooses not to worry and he lives a relaxing and fulfilling life.
Now, before you misinterpret what I'm saying, I'm not suggesting that we all run out and buy ourselves a pack of Marlboro and some clay. Of course smoking is harmful, as is an unhealthy diet and a sedentary lifestyle. What I am saying is that for some people the biggest determinant of health or sickness in their life will be their ability to effectively manage stress (fear, anxiety, anger). Keeping in mind that situations, circumstances and events don't produce stress, we do.
Current research
Current research is telling us that more than any other variable, stress will kill us the quickest. Long-term chronic stress will see our body consistently producing high levels of cortisol (a destructive hormone), which has been strongly linked to obesity, hypertension, heart disease, diabetes, various cancers and a wide range of other chronic diseases. The precis' version? Stress equals cortisol, cortisol equals disease, disease equals premature death.
Compare the level of health of Sally who eats badly and doesn't exercise for a month with her twin sister Julie who is under immense emotional and psychological stress for the same amount of time. Sally gains two kilos. Julie ages ten years and her health declines dramatically.
So, I'm not suggesting that you take up smoking (of course) but I am suggesting that you learn to manage your stress. In fact, while you're at it, eat well, exercise regularly, live a healthy lifestyle and laugh a lot too. If you don't already have a stress-management strategy, then now might be the time to make that happen. If you don't manage it, it will manage you.
* Let us know your thoughts on this post by clicking on the comment thingy and sharing from your own experiences or thoughts. If you'd like to receive articles like this automatically, simply click on the 'subscribe to this feed' thingy at the bottom of this post and become a subscriber.
Sorry guys but we've had to change our date for our Melbourne get-together. It will be the same time of day and the same place but one week later. We'd love to see heaps of you there for a coffee, some laughs and a chat with Baldy and I. Details are as follows:
Is it my imagination or did a whole bunch of people drop out in week one?!! Just asking.
On with today's post...
The Change Myth
The Myth:Creating positive change in our world is largely about finding the right resource or mechanism; be that a program, a course, workshop, book, guru, teacher, diet, equipment, workout, pill or something else.
The Truth:Creating positive change in our world is primarily about finding the right mindset. Our mindset determines (1) what we do, (2) what decisions we make (3) how we react and (4) how we deal with challenges and adversity - which in turns dictates (5) what kinds of results we produce in our life (whether we create positive change, stay the same or go backwards). Masters of Repetition
While we all seek positive change in our world (which of course is represented by different things for different people), the truth is that the majority of us tend to inhabit, or end up back in, the sameplace. Practically, emotionally, physically, professionally and psychologically, many of us are human statues; living life in a perpetual holding pattern. Week after week, month after month, year after frustrating year. Good intentions, lots of potential, plenty of talk, lots of reading... along with lots of predictable behaviours and very little change. Masters of repetition. Wanting different but doing... the same.
We've all heard many times that:
"Insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting a different outcome"
Well that isn't just some clever saying, it's an extremely insightful observation and comment on how some of us live. Too many of us are perpetually doing the same, while hoping for different outcomes - that is nuts! This is not some random theory; it's a fact Jack. Just take a look around. Or in the mirror perhaps.
Stop looking for a saviour, a guru, a miracle cure or a quick fix.
This is such a disempowering mindset to inhabit but sadly, many people live there - always looking for someone or something to fix them or save them. A pill, a powder, a program, a potion, a product, a guru, a book, a workshop... or my personal favourite; the latestbreakthrough. They're always good - I love a good breakthrough. Every day (somewhere in the world) there's another new amazing, never-seen-before miracle cure/solution to all of our woes. If only we would stop looking for answers where they ain't and start focusing our energy in the right place.
The problem and the solution
Even though you may be a big part of the problem, you're also the solution. In some ways you are your only hope because ultimately you, and only you, determine what happens (and doesn't happen) in your life. Sounds scary I know, but it doesn't need to be - it can actually be quite liberating when you truly understand what that truth can mean to you. I know you probably don't feel like you're the answer to your problems at times, but that's part of your problem; you don't know what you can do because you've never really explored your potential and maybe you've never been encouraged and supported as you should be. Well, I don't know you (personally) but I want to encourage you today. You (yep, you) are an infinitely gifted and talented individual who has probably talked yourself into mediocre (or worse) for much of your life. Perhaps it's time for you to stop compromising yourself, stop wasting your talent, stop listening to the negativity and to step up to your best life. Finally. It's sad that so many of us aren't encouraged and supported as we should be, but don't use that as yet another reason for you to under-achieve or live anything less than your best life. Self-pity is pointless and ultimately makes that hole even deeper. While others find another excuse, you find a way.
Feelings; the off-switch to our potential
If you're like many then you've thought about it, spoken about it but never actually done it (for longer than a few weeks or months). Everything you need to create different results in your life, you have right now. Can you make a new decision? Can you do different things? Can you react differently? If you answered yes to those questions then you can create change. Lasting change. I'm not asking "will you?" or "have you?", no, I'm asking "can you?" And the answer to that is "absolutely yes". Don't be like the unfulfilled masses who constantly let their feelings get in the way of their potential. More often than not our feelings are a road block to greatness; the off-switch to our potential.
The past doesn't (need to) equal the future.
Just because you haven't done something doesn't mean you can't do it, it just means you haven't done it yet. Even though I have a pretty good understanding of the mechanics and psychology of behavioural change and vast experience poking, prodding and pushing people towards their best life, the truth is, I've never changed one person. Not one. Sure I encourage, educate, motivate and occasionally slap, but ultimately I don' t change anybody - they do it themselves. I help people towards change but I don't actually do any of the changing for them. I (or any other motivator, coach or teacher for that matter) am not the answer. If people think I'm the answer, then I'm sending out the wrong message. The purpose of any responsible teacher or coach is to empower others to greatness, not to create a fan club or a dependency problem.
He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy (apologies to you confused non-Monty Python folk).
All I am is a resource in the change process and how valuable I will be to anyone who reads or hears me depends on what those people do (or don't do) with what I teach you. If (for example) Tony Robbins (the highest paid motivator on the planet) was theanswer, all anyone would have to do would be turn up to the big man's seminar, listen to him and walk out a different person. Maybe that happens sometimes but when it does, Big Tone ain't the reason - he's the catalyst. Yes, he's an amazing, talented and gifted teacher but he doesn't change people. The only person he can change is himself. Same with me. Same with you. It's the individual who brings about the change. It's the individual who follows through while others give up. It's the individual who uses and applies the information consistently. It's the individual who stops making excuses and steps up to personal responsibility and accountability.
All the personal development resources in the world can't change one person. It ain't about the book, the program, the workshop, the website or the teacher - it's about you. Resources are handy but they don't create change - people do.
We all know people who have been exposed to the most amazing, inspirational, insightful and relevant information only to walk away from that experience and step straight back into those same old destructive behaviours and habits. We've all seen it. Done it. Success or failure always comes back to us personally. In my experience, the difference between change and stagnation isn't usually about ability, potential, resources or even education; it mostly comes down to the 'enough factor'. When someone wants something enough, they'll find a way and they'll make it happen. The right resources are handy but the right mindset is invaluable.
I want it enough. I hope you do too.
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