This site is the website of motivational speaker Craig Harper. A constantly updated, one-stop information, inspiration, education and motivation station. Unlike many similar sites, it is a totally free resource for anyone who is serious about moving from mediocre to amazing in any area of their personal or professional life. With hundreds of articles covering a wide range of subject matter, great interviews with cool people and inspirational video posts, there's more than enough brain-food to keep you busy for hours. Okay, days!!
Enjoy.
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Life Coach
Melbourne - Craig Harper
If
you are interested in maximizing your potential,
stepping out of that 'holding pattern' and being
privately coached by Craig click here.
Business Coach Melbourne -
Craig Harper
If you're a personal trainer, gym owner or studio owner
who is interested in growing your business and/or your
career, then mentoring with Craig could be a valuable
part of your overall success strategy and professional
development journey.
Biological Age Testing
- Craig Harper
In a recent test, Jan Frazer, who has a chronological age (the
number of years she's been on the planet) of 67 did a biological
age test which showed she has the body of a 37 year old female.
Pretty Impressive! How old is your body! Find out here.
Nutrition Melbourne -
Craig Harper
Many nutritional
experts are confusing people with jargon and pseudo-science.
Craig's HPN Service provides remote access to Craig's Director
of Nutrition to cut through the dietary confusion and
contradiction.
Public Speaking Melbourne - Craig Harper If you've ever
thought about becoming a professional speaker or
improving your public speaking then you can be privately
coached here.
Fattitude
- Craig Harper
While many books focus on food,
Craig Harper teaches that creating life-long change is more about the
dieter, than the actual diet. This book is perfect for people who have a
history of 'almost' getting in shape.
DVD
or CD - Renovate Your Body - Craig Harper In this entertaining presentation, Craig discusses the
notion of Renovating Your Body - once and for all. Many of us have a curious
ability to be able to get in shape for events (weddings, parties, reunions
and birthdays), if only we'd get in shape for life.
Motivational t-shirt designs
Katrina provides her own range of clothing including some cool t-shirt designs with Craig's motivational messages at Funkyas.
Craig Harper is a leading
motivational speaker
and educator. He is a highly
sought-after corporate coach and is considered to be
a leader and pioneer in the areas of personal and
professional development. Working with hundreds of
teams, companies and a wide variety of organisations
on numerous continents over the last twenty years
has given Craig a unique insight into, and
understanding of, human performance and all its
variables. Craig has an ability to educate, inspire,
challenge and make people laugh all at the same
time!
Very big weekend for me.dot.com...so this is just a little note to say hi to you all and a reminder to my GYSTerstoenjoy the last day of your challenge and to get yourselves emotionally, psychologically and practically (organised, structured, planned, prepared) where you need to be to keep those wheels turning well beyond the 28 days.
Different for life. Not for 28 days. That's the goal.
Send in those submissions and let us know how you've done and what you've learned. See you tomorrow.
Peace.
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I trust that your Friday (or Thursday evening depending on your locale) is going swimmingly. I've never used the word 'swimmingly' in a sentence before... now I know why. It's stupid. I won't do it again. Promise.
So today is my birthday.
Yep, 30... ish. And therefore a busy day of eating an obscene amount of cheesecake. I may in fact break some kinda world record. I think I have it in me; I'm prepared emotionally and physically. I have the focus, the mindset, the discipline and the skills. I've done the work, I've trained well. Goals are important right? I read that somewhere.
All cheesecake donations can be forwarded to 643 Nepean Highway, East Brighton, Victoria, Australia, 3186. No pressure. Really. I'll still love you no matter what. Cheesecake or not. 'Cause I'm that deep. Freaky, I know.
As if I could be swayed by a thick, rich, fresh, mouth-watering baked cheesecake anyway. Waddya think I am... a food-driven, one-dimensional eating machine? Okay, maybe a little... but hey, we all have issues. It just happens that my issue tastes incredible.
So enough about me and my gastronomic ambition... today is video post day. Yay... 'bout time.
The bald man (aka Steven Spielberg) has once again dragged his Kmart camera out of retirement, so that we may connect with you face to face. Sort of. So click on the 'play' thingy and see how much I've aged in the last six months. Tragic. It's Johnnie's fault.
GYSTers... keep those wheels turning. ( )
Have a great day Groovers and enjoy your weekend. I'll keep my eyes open for the delivery man.
No pressure.
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Hello my Champions. Hope you're converting all this reading into some doing.
No post today (as such). I don't wanna overload you with information and inspiration; you might blow a gasket or something.
However, a little craigharper.com news update is on today's menu...
* GYST Challenge. So the finish line is in sight!! Four weeks of toil, sweat, tears and joy is drawing to a close. It's been a busy four weeks for the bald man and I; lots of emails, lots of feedback, lots of work on the site and lots of fun. Overall, you guys have done well. A few have fallen of the wagon, a few have made modest progress and a few of you have made giant strides... but keep in mind that the ultimate goal is life-long change. Let us know your thoughts, ideas, suggestions and feedback on the GYST. We may or may not repeat the exercise at a later date... we're weighing it all up. It's lots of work for baldy and I but we have felt it's been a worthwhile project. Maybe monthly check-ins?
* A BIRTHDAY next week!! Yep, on October 3, 2006 craigharper.com took it's first tentative steps in the blogoshpere. They were indeed shaky. One whole year! Who'da thunk it?? I may have to get drunk for the first time! Hmm... probably not. Don't go to any trouble you guys; just something big, extravagant and expensive will be fine. Maybe we can have a cyber-party? Or a real one? You're all happy to travel right? What's a few thousand miles between friends? Lotsa space at the gym. A few cheesecakes. And something for you too. How should we celebrate our first year?
* A CAREER with CH !! I need a Trainee. Every year I (via my business, Harper's Personal Training) offer a twelve month traineeship (like a one-year apprenticeship) for a person who is trying to establish him or herself in the big, wide world of P.T. Right now, I'm looking for a young (or not-so-young) amazing, dynamic, passionate, fun person with a big engine (work ethic), high pain-threshold (Craig threshold), great people skills, hilarious sense of humour, engaging personality and a strong desire to learn and grow. You will need to be cert. 3 and 4 qualified (or well on the way), prepared to put in way too many hours for way too little money... and in return I will work you like a dog for a year. Sound good? Okay... you will work in "one of the biggest and best PT centres in the world" (Richard Boyd, PT on the Net), develop lots of skills, learn a buncha stuff, work with some amazing people, be fast-tracked into the world of PT (if you're any good) and if you're lucky, be both hugged and harassed by me on a daily basis. Irresistible huh? Obviously this is really only suitable for Melbourne-based people but.. I guess it's open to anyone. If you're interested, email me via the site, let me know some stuff about you and leave some contact details. If you're precious, high-maintenance, lazy or easily-offended, don't bother. I do make it sound so attractive don't I?
* Video Posts. Baldy and I (okay, mainly me) have been somewhat negligent with our video-posting responsibilities. We get regular requests (amazingly) for more of them, so as of next week, we will post one fortnightly. Waddya think?
* You may or may not know about a thing called Technorati. It's a type of system which ranks blog sites (like this one) based on the amount of links coming to that site from other sites. A link from another site is kind of like a tick of approval (this is how the bald man explains it to me). Anyway there are over 70,000,000 blog sites globally (apparently) and the vast majority of them are not personal development sites (like this one). They are tech sites, media sites (from very large media outlets) and a zillion different blogs which hang off the back of a wide range of businesses and products. Anyway, our ranking inside of twelve months has gone from over 50,000,000 to somewhere in the 6,000's... When you consider the size of the blogoshpere... that's kinda cool huh? Johnnie tells me this is pretty amazing.
* Traffic to craigharper.com. We're heading towards 100,000 visitors per month (looks like we'll get there in the next few months)... which means that in 2008 we should have well over 1,000,000 visitors for the year. See what happens to an idea when you wrap it around some passion and sweat?
* This Sunday I'm MC'ing the WNBF Victorian Bodybuildingand Bodyshaping Champs at the Clocktower Centre in Moonee Ponds, kicking off at 1pm. So.. if you're in the state, interested in hot bods... an wanna say hello.. come along. I'll be the dashingly handsome one in the suit.
Okay.. I'll be the one in the suit.
* You may have noticed that at the top left of the homepage we have a new addition (a little grey box). Johnnie in his infinite wisdom and with his amazing tech skills has managed to drag my sorry ass all the way to the top of the google rankings for the search-term 'motivational speaker.' I can assure you that this ranking is not a reflection of my speaking skills but rather his tech skills and too-large brain. Great achievement (in under one year) when you consider that the search term (motivational speaker) generates over 2,000,000 matches. Well done Google boy.
So there it was... a not-so-quick ch.com update.
If you have any ideas, thoughts, suggestions, feedback or questions, hit the comment thingy and start typing. I will reply to as many as possible (a little busy these days).
Peace Groovers.
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In my humble opinion, the single most important life-skill is communication. So get to work on yours. The end.
*How great would it be if I could write posts as short as that and still have the desired impact? Make a statement, provide some instruction and then wrap it up. All in under twenty words. Succinct, specific and no fluff. Imagine the time I'd save?
Waddya mean, you need more info? Why can't you work with those two sentences? You guys are so demanding (is that a label) and high-maintenance (and another).
My experience tells me that people who master the skill of communication, to a large extent, master many of the complexities of life. The people stuff anyway. And of course, the people stuff is probably the biggest part. The end. Again. Seeya tomorrow.
Oh all right, I'll continue. But I wanna raise.
Yes, it's a big statement (not the raise one... the communication one) but I believe it to be true. Communication has a huge impact on virtually every aspect of our life. Friendships, marriage, career, education, conflict resolution, teaching our kids, expressing our feelings, negotiating problems and of course, the mountain of 'general life stuff' we contend with on a daily basis.
Yet the truth is that most of us don't consciously work at becoming more effective communicators. We tell ourselves we do. But we don't actually work (in a strategic, logical, practical manner) at developing the skill. We just stumble along and 'hope' we'll accidentally get better. Dumb plan.
Observe most people over a long period of time and they will typically use the same communication style forever, no matter how effective or ineffective that style is. They're defensive, they're aggressive, they're confrontational, they're arrogant, they're condescending, they don't listen... they do a whole buncha stuff which ultimately equals bad communication.
I've watched people have the same stupid arguments, over the same stupid issues, with the same stupid people... only to produce the same outcome (frustration, anger, pain, terrible relationships) for years.
And while some of us are clever and articulate, we're also crap communicators (at least in some situations and circumstances). Don't assume that a large vocabulary or eloquent speech equates to effective communication. It doesn't. Effective communication has little or nothing to do with the size of your vocabulary. Or your academic background.
I personally know many people who are both clever and articulate, yet often struggle to communicate a simple message in certain situations.
He (yep, let's pick on the blokes) can run a multi-million company but he can't communicate with his teenage kids. And the truth is, he doesn't make the time or effort. He doesn't workat communicating more effectively with his kids. But he makes himself feel better by telling his wife that everything he does is for her and them.
Sure it is, Pinocchio.
Your kids don't need more toys ya big tool, they need a hug. They need an investment of your time and attention. They need you to listen. Hey Stupid! Learn to communicate with your kids, wife, parents.. those who are (allegedly) the most important things in your life.
I'm not very good at many things but the one thing which I have passionately and consciously worked at developing over the years is my communication skills. Many times I have been in a situation where I've almost been out of my depth and my ability to communicate (some might say bullshit... so not fair) has dragged me over the line.
Knowing how to engage and connect with people is invaluable. Different people. Different attitudes. Different personalities. Different age groups. Different situations. They may all require a different communication style. A different approach.
A question I ask myself twenty times a day is this:
"How do I need to communicate with this person, in this situation, at this point in time to create the best possible outcome for everyone?"
If that question is your starting point, you'll start to see things change quickly.
I know that while one person will respond to Drill Sgt. Harper, another will start crying and assume the foetal position with the same approach. I've had to discover what works best for each individual and learn to communicate accordingly.
When I am looking to employ a new trainer (which I have done hundreds of times over the years), I look for an ability to communicate over qualifications and knowledge base. Yes, I want the quals and the knowledge but without doubt, the best trainers (doctors, sales people, teachers, managers, coaches, etc..) are the best communicators.
Gimme a bloke (or a chick) with a PhD and an IQ of 200 who can't connect with people... no value to me.
So wadda we do wrong and how can we change? 1) We don't (really) listen. We merely wait for a gap in the flow of conversation so we can tell them how it really is. We forget people's names six seconds after we've been introduced because we're not really in the moment; not really listening. When you're talking with someone, be present; don't be elsewhere. Simple but effective. Maintain eye contact, use their name.
2) We criticise. Hey Captain Perfecto... don't find fault, find solutions. Find a positive. Remember that one time when you made a mistake? It was the 80's wasn't it? 3) We don't apologise when we should. If you want to create a better connection with someone and improve the quality of your communication instantly.. give them a heart-felt "I'm sorry" when it's appropriate. Genuine humility is one of the most attractive and engaging qualities but some of us work very hard to avoid it. 4) We talk over the top of others. Want an instant social and emotional disconnection? Then master the skill of interruption. I have a friend who has an acute case of "but-wait-till-you-hear-my-story-itis". We know you love the sound of your voice but seriously..... 5) We talk 'at' people, rather than 'with' them. You don't like being lectured to, why would anyone else? 6) We pressure, manipulate, coerce. Good way to create resentment not connection. 7) We don't read the (very obvious) non verbal communication. We've all heard the 'communication is 93% non-verbal' stat... yet we continue to ignore the signs. If you want to know how someone really feels... talk less, watch more. 8) We don't understand that different communication styles work (are necessary, in fact) for different people. If you're determined to be a crap communicator, use the same approach with everyone.
Your Homework: Being as you're all about learning, here's your chance.
In the next 48 hours try something different (from a communication perspective)... with that person (you know who). And I don't mean some pissy, token, half-assed attempt... I mean really different.
If you wanna create a different dynamic / result / rapport / relationship... then do different. Same produces same. You know that.
Good communication is the cornerstone of healthy, productive, rewarding relationships... and considering that we spend the majority of our waking hours around other people, perhaps it's a skill that we should consciously and practically work at developing.
I think so, Grasshoppers.
* Let me know how you go, your thoughts in general... and where you're from.
Clothes, food, cars, computers, buildings, organisations... all kindsa stuff. People too. You and me even. I've had lots of labels. Heavy sigh.
We exist in a world with so much stuff that apparently we need labels to identify everything. Otherwise we could make a crucial mistake. After all, a box containing a computer might very well be a box full of jelly beans for all we know. Fortunately for us, we just need to take a look on the side and it's mystery solved. Labels can be a positive or a negative. They can inform us, protect us, identify us.. or make us cry.
They can be found hanging on the end of a piece of string, splashed across a box or bag, written on the front of a building or even on the sidewall of a tyre.
We can also find them in the reputation a person has (or hasn't) created for him or herself.
And it's all these labels which (as a rule) tell us about a thing or person. Or at least how those things / people are perceived. How we identify it / them. How we know what's on the inside. What we're dealing with.
It may not necessarily be a physical label with a bunch of words on it... but it's a label nonetheless.
Whether it's a box of cereal (high-protein, low-fat, great taste), a TV (high-def, LCD, 60 inch), a car (sports coupe, fast, powerful, eco-friendly, cheap) or a person (grumpy, friendly, generous, happy, sad, high-maintenance, funny, entertaining, artistic, rude, obnoxious, clever, moody)... nearly everything has it's own label.
Some labels merely provide basic information (this is a low-fat cereal, this is a size 4 garment) while other labels speak to a person's nature, character, physical appearance, state of mind, financial status (and so on). These labels often have a significant impact on an individual's mental and emotional state... and therefore, life.
Sometimes we give things labels so we know what's inside.
Imagine going to a supermarket and finding thousands of boxes, cans and bags on the shelves with no labels on them. You wouldn't know if you were buying a can of soup or a can of dog food. A box of Corn Flakes or some washing powder.
Or imagine going to a hospital where nobody wore name tags and every employee wore the exact same uniform... you might get your tonsils ripped out by the cleaner. Okay, perhaps not.
We give people labels because we think that particular term, expression, description best defines them.
And it's the 'people' labels (the ones we give and get) which impact on us personally. Positively and negatively. Emotionally and psychologically. Significantly. Some of them are nice. A lot aren't. Some of them scar us. And scare us. We all have one Or several. Whether we like it or not. And we give them to others. Yep... even you.
Sometimes we're nasty. Or nice. Sometimes we alternate. Sometimes we are champions at finding fault in others but seemingly incapable of acknowledging (or addressing) our imperfect, flawed selves.
Good, bad or indifferent, we label people every day.
"That grumpy man from next door is rude..."
"Oh yes, she's the academic one; the brain of the family.."
"Have you seen that newfat teacher with the funny lips.... so weird"
"Yeh, Sam will fix it for you.. he's Mr Fix-it.."
"Have you seen that un-coordinated kid with the red hair trying to kick the ball.. sonota soccer player"
And while it's important that we don't obsess about what people think of us, it is also important that we do have an awareness of how other people perceive us in our daily life (work, home, general conversation, socially.. etc).
Is it possible for you to be seen as arrogant, when in fact you're not? Yep. Or stupid when you're actually shy? Yep. Or weird when you're creative and clever? Yep.
So... here's a short list of some of the labels I've been given over my journey.
A few years ago I did a presentation where (as I do) I happened to do a ten second impersonation of a friend of my who is an aerobics teacher... and happens to be gay. Anyway, it was all in good fun and in the context of what we were discussing. My friend certainly wouldn't have been offended as it wasn't (intended to be) offensive.
However... (you knew that was coming right?)... while most people were amused and entertained, a lady up the back saw it differently. After my presentation she informed me that I was an ignorant, arrogant, stupid homophobe.
And while I didn't believe that I was (an ignorant, arrogant, stupid homophobe), after I spoke with the fat, silly old cow... the lady (don't write to me.. I'm being silly), I understood how and why she came to the conclusion she did.
She wasn't right (okay.. maybe the stupid bit) but the labels she gave me made complete sense when I learned a little about where she had come from (emotionally and experientially) and her thinking and beliefs. So in a way, she was right. You with me?
I have since learned that when I talk to audiences I need to negotiate and anticipate particular responses to certain communication and teaching styles and certain subject matter. I need to understand that my truth (perspective, thinking, ideas, beliefs) won't hit a home run with everyone... and that's ok. This doesn't mean that I compromise my message or beliefs, it means I am wise (mostly) in how I present my message. How I choose to communicate.
And then sometimes I'm just flat-out offensive. Still working on that.
One of the fun things (not) about being a professional speaker is that quite often my audiences are required to complete feedback forms (on my performance) at the end of the presentation. If you have a tendency to be somewhat precious or easily offended, don't become a speaker... or lose the preciousness (a word).
As the forms are anonymous, people don't typically hold back. They have no reason to water down their thoughts.
And while it ain't always a fun process (to be told you're crap), it's been great for my personal and professional development for me to know how people perceive me as a speaker, teacher, motivator, coach... bloke (the labels they give me).
Have you ever wondered about the labels you wear? The ones you know about and the ones you don't? How others 'define' you when you're not around? The ones you deserve and the ones you don't?
A few concluding thoughts:
1) We shouldn't spend our lives worrying about what others think or we'll go nuts.
2) But we can try and see ourselves through the eyes of others - it's an interesting exercise, it makes us much more effective communicators and it helps us create much better outcomes in a range of situations and settings.
3) Before you punch someone in the head for a label you're not so happy with, consider that maybe they're at least partly right (crazy concept I know) and if they are, don't languish in self-pity or anger.. do something constructive to earn a different label. I've had some labels I didn't want but when I stepped back from the emotion of the moment... they were one hundred percent accurate. So I decided to learn and change.
4) Be careful how you label people (especially kids). It's more of a responsibility than you may realise and sometimes we do it without even thinking.
5) You and I have enough of our own 'stuff' to work on. We shouldn't have the time or the mindset to (negatively) pigeon-hole others. Even... if they deserve it. Being a critic hurts you more than anyone else. It's morally, spiritually and emotionally carcinogenic.
6) Some people will label you unfairly no matter how hard you try. That's life. And people. Deal with it and continue to work on you. Change the stuff you can and don't waste time or energy on the stuff you can't.
* Let me know your thoughts on labels (and where you're from - state, country)
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Three weeks down, one to go! Wannahearaboutwatchabeendoin.
Are you in, out of... or anywhere near, the zone? Get those updates in, good or bad doesn't matter... get 'em in. It's not about the four weeks anyway, it's about changing what's goin' on in that nine pound lump on top of yer shoulders. Tell us what you've learned about yerself over the three weeks.
New day today, new week, new attitude... new opportunity to do and be, amazing. NO excuses, no sabotaging... find a way. When it's tough, inconvenient, impractical and almost impossible... find a way anyway. 'Cause you can. If you want it enough.. you will.
Commitment hurts. Change hurts. Success hurts. Deal with it.
* Happy birthday Jenna xx
PS. Elroy (yes you) your email won't let me reply to you. The answer to your question is.. yes, Fattitude and Your Perfect Body are virtually the same book... most people prefer Fattitude as it is a little more conversational (Craigish).
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Every six months or so I go to the skin doctor bloke to get checked for skin cancer. Not the funnest (a word) day on my calendar... but gotta be done. You know, being proactive about one's health and all.
For my international readers, we Aussies are right at the top of the skin cancer heap. Not a competition we really want to win. But we seem to be pretty good at it nonetheless. Sun, fun, surf, sand... and skin cancer. They don't put that in those tourism ads do they? Heavy sigh.
So I've had a few things sliced off before... some skin things called Basal Cell Carcinomas... not as bad as a melanoma (on the cancer scale) but you don't want one anyway. A bit of cutting, a few stitches; no prob.
So there I was the last week lying on the Doc's table in my racing undies, looking an absolute treat. As you would imagine. Hot. Like a walrus with sneakers on.
Anyway here's how the skin-check thing works...
The Doc has this gizmo (yep, a medical term) which is kind of like a super-duper magnifying glass / video camera combo thingy (lemme know if this is a bit over your head) which enlarges every feature (freckle, hair, blemish, pimple, lump, bump) on your skin and brings it up about a zillion times bigger on a gigantic computer screen right next to where you're lying.
* Sometimes my freaky grasp of technology and my mastery of techno-speak amazes even me.
Gotta say, us humans up really close.... very ugly. Then again, maybe that's just me. Yeh, probably.
So here's part of our conversation: (Doc's still halfway through perusing my skin)
Doc: "Yeh, that one (freckley thing) looks okay" CH: "That's what I wanna hear" Doc: "Yep, that one two.." CH: "Nice" (Silence from Doc... looks intense) (I hate that look) Doc: "Hmmm" (More silence) Doc: "That one looks interesting..." (CH experiences increase in cardiac output and reduction in testicle size) Doc: "Hmmm... he might be a problem..." CH: "He?" Doc: "Yep, might have to take him off and send him off for some testing.." CH: "Aaah, er (struggling to maintain alpha-male-warrior disposition).. could it be, er.. aah... a melanoma (skin cancer)? Doc: "Maybe, let's hope not.." CH: "Er, yeh."
The Doc proceeds to slice away a little piece of my back and throw in some stitches.
CH: "So what happens now?" Doc: "We'll send him off to pathology and wait for the test results.." CH: "How long will they take?" (assuming the answer will be somewhere between one and three hours) Doc: "About a week." CH: "A WEEK!" Doc: "Yeh.. they're pretty busy so it's not a quick turn-around." CH: "Are you kiddin' me?" Doc: "Well... there's nothing we can do right now, so don't worry about it, go home and we'll give you a call if we get any nasty news..."
Terriffo. Feeling fabulous by this point. Nearly doing wee in my pants.
CH: (pathetically trying to be the alpha-male) "Sure Doc, no problem" (not the exact words I wanted to share).
So, it's been a little over a week now. And no phone call. That's gotta be good right? I would have called myself but I've been a bit gutless busy.
I head back to the Doc in a few days to get my stitches out and to get the all-clear.
It's amazing how a moment in time or a simple experience can instantly change our mindset and our perspective. All those worries that I walked into the doctors surgery with? Not really worries at all.
And all that really important stuff I had to do that day... not so important. It can wait. Funny that.
We do that don't we?
We get so engrossed in our own little world that we often miss the point. To live and love in the moment. Every day. Sometimes we forget the important stuff... like appreciating what and who we have in our life. Right now. At this minute. Family, friends, health. Simple stuff. But amazing stuff.
Pity we get so distracted with crap. And waste so much time and energy on stuff which (really) isn't that important. We tell ourselves it is... but it ain't. And then we get all stressed, grumpy and obsessed... about nothing in particular.
Pity we wait until we get sick or scared before we get some perspective.
But then again, maybe that's just me. Doubt it.
Sometimes we need to forget the goals, the time-table, the to-do list, the five-year plan and simply be in the now. And enjoy it. Savour it. Just being thankful and appreciative for what we have, rather than being pre-occupied with what we don't. What if all that stuff we're chasing... won't make us any happier anyway?
What if where we are (right now) is actually pretty amazing but we don't allow ourselves to enjoy it.
Sometimes something as simple as knowing that you're healthy is enough to bring you more happiness than any achievement, prize or possession ever could. There's a thought.
So anyway... I'm lovin' my life today. Right now. I'll let yer know how I go at the Doc.
Enjoy your weekend.
(GYSTers... I'm watching you).
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G'dayGYSTers. Ron D, Madelyn (the writer), Ute, Ellen, Greg, Justice, Elle, Michelle (Tasmania), Tami 2, Moyra, Melissa (New Zealand), ST and her anonymous sister, Ceridwen, Doug (New Mexico), Lili Ann, Sandi, Angela, Barb J, Anne, Jessie, Leigh, Jodie, Elroy, Sue Reid, Diane (Sydney), Leah K, Jess K, Dee Britton, Kirsten, KK, Virginia (Melbourne), Clare H, Tim (Chicago), Kate, Pip, Miss Beck, Sal, Frank, Louie (Phoenix), Jen (Mildura), Ganesh (India), Tami (US), Barney, Kaddy, Snoskred, Julie (Hobart), Kerry, Finn, April Groves, M, Dianned1, Amanda B, Amber Jordon, Debbie, Irene N, Kristy, Leann, Pip Dodds, tlee, Andy, Charmaine Connolly, Kelvin (US) and Sepyroth...
Well, we're heading towards the end of week three of the GYST challenge and hopefully you're having some fun, learning some stuff, being honest with yourself, dealing with those motivational peaks and troughs, overcoming a few challenges and being very realistic and practical about creating some forever change.
As you head into this weekend, plan to succeed. Expect good. De-emotionalise the change process (a little)... think less.. do more. Be organised, be determined, stay focused and get your head where it needs to be to do what you want to do over the long term. You know what the potential stumbling blocks are for you... so anticipate, plan and excel. Some of us (not you but perhaps someone you know...) seem to have a history of taking our foot off the pedal over the weekend; to drop the ball. The weekend should not be an opportunity to lose momentum... but we seem to make it that.
Take care Groovers, I know you've all missed your cyberhug... so here... ( ) take that! Looking forward to those amazing updates on Monday...
When it comes to excuses, I've heard them all. And made up a few of my own too.
In fact, I am a fully-qualified Excuse-ologist. Excuse-ology (the study of excuse making) is a fascinating but little-known science. Okay, I developed it. And graduated in it from the University of Harper. I keep that qualification low-key and don't put it on my business card for reasons which will become apparent.
In the course of my work, I have spent time with more excuse-makers than most and I have studied them closely. They are a curious breed. They are usually members of the 'I'm-continually-not-doing-stuff-for-a-very-legitimate-sounding-reason' fraternity.
If there's a way to delay something, avoid responsibility or to ignore an important issue altogether, they'll find it. And while they typically like the sound of their own voice, they don't want to be studied too closely. Or contradicted. Or questioned.
However, I have had little choice but to study them, as they have constantly made their way into my laboratory.
Interestingly, many of them have their own PhD. In bullshit. And numerous under-grad degrees in anger, delusion, blame, denial, pessimism and procrastination.
They are also often graduates of the "but you don't understand my life" School of Self-Pity.
When they're not speaking they can be hard to identify in a crowd... because outwardly they look like any regular member of the species; two arms, a couple of legs, a head and some hair. Seemingly normal.
It's only when they open their mouth that they identify themselves and bring themselves undone. They have what's known clinically as 'excuse-itis'. And colloquially as linguistic diarrhoea.
If you are unlucky enough to spend any length of time with individuals suffering from the condition (excuse-itis) you would be well advised to either (1) carry a shovel or (2) stand well back when conversing... lest you drown in the constant stream of crap that is most likely to come out of their mouth.
Unlike sufferers of other conditions, many people with excuse-itis won't even acknowledge that they have it as they often also suffer from another interesting but lesser known social disease: head-up-my-own-butt-itis... (H.U.M.O.B). HUMOB renders sufferers incapable of taking advice, direction or constructive feedback.
And is most prevalent amongst politicians.
Even though a very effective treatment (a topical cream to be rubbed on the head of patients) was developed in the late seventies, unfortunately it proved to make little impact as: 1) Most sufferers wouldn't acknowledge that they needed treatment and 2) They always found an excuse to avoid using the medication.
The cream (Excusinator 4000) was subsequently withdrawn from the market in the early eighties and tragically, the condition continued to proliferate.
However, there has been some anecdotal evidence to suggest that Excusinator 4000 is still available today on the black market and numerous stories of frustrated wives smearing it on their excuse-making husbands as they sleep, abound.
Today excuse-itis is one of the largest threats and most debilitating conditions to not only global health, but humanity as a whole.
It affects:
Our health... "both my parents are big-boned also; it's genetic.."... "It's the healthiest thing I could find..."
Our fitness... "I'm pretty sure it's a hamstring strain... I'll need a few weeks off"
Friendships... "I would have helped you out but I honestly didn't have the time.."
Families... "I would play with the kids but I think I'm still contagious ...."
Careers... "I would have been here on time but I got robbed in the car park.." International relations... "They fired at us first..."
Well , there you have it; a quick overview of a very debilitating condition.
Excuse-itis.... it's insidious, it's rampant, it's ruining lives an it may even be contagious, so be careful who you mix with.
And if by some chance you do contract it.. get yerself some of that black market Excusinator 4000 and apply liberally...
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We all need it to get us to our destination. To maximise our chances of achieving our goals. It's a crucial ingredient in the personal development process. Yet so many of us seem to be masters of the stop-start approach, never really getting out of first gear... while others, perhaps with less talent, resources, opportunity and potential, always seem to find a way to get out of first and build towards a nice cruising speed. They are the masters of momentum. They get it. The relationship between momentum and results, that is.
High achievers know how to create it and more importantly, maintain it. They're not obsessed with personal comfort, convenience or 'easy'. They understand it's significance and are experts at keeping the wheels turning. You might have a Ferrari at your disposal but if the motor's not running and the wheels aren't turning... it's taking you nowhere. Great resource, but not if you don't use it.
Potentially, it could be the greatest ride of your life... but no momentum equals no progress, no change. You're staying in the garage. Some of us have spent years sitting in that garage, warming the motor but never engaging a gear. So much potential under the hood... but so much fear, complacency, laziness and procrastination in the driver's seat. We've threatened much. Delivered little. For far too long.
It might be said that we are the stagnation generation (emotionally and psychologically, not technologically)... constantly swimming in circles. Or perhaps the procrastination nation. Flying in that holding pattern. Forever.
Momentum is that irresistible force that keeps us doing what we need to do and moving in the right direction, irrespective of how we're 'feeling' on a given day. The greater the momentum we create... the greater our chance of success.
And when we're not excited, motivated or 'in the zone', it doesn't really matter because we have created enough overall momentum to keep moving towards our goals anyway. Momentum is that thing which keeps us on track even when we're having a 'bad day'. It's what keeps us in the game when others having already walked to the bench.
You need it. I need it. And we need to know how to create it.
A few definitions... Momentum is: 1. A measure of the motion of a body equal to the product of its mass and velocity. Also called linear momentum 2. Impetus of a physical object in motion. 3. Impetus of a nonphysical process, such as an idea or a course of events 4. The tendency of a person or group to repeat recent success.
If you are serious about creating life-changing, forever results... then you need to create enough momentum so that you can't fail. And when those hurdles/challenges/obstacles arise (and they will), you will have no choice but to stay on track... because the momentum you've created won't allow you to sabotage yourself like you have so many times before.
Imagine going on a ten mile bike ride and choosing to ride the whole journey (hesitantly and fearfully) at two mph. What's gonna happen?
1) You're gonna hate that trip because it's gonna take five hours and be very painful! 2) You'll get frustrated because it feels like you're getting nowhere. 3) It will be impossible to ride that slow (with such little momentum).. for that long, so you'll have to stop. When there's such little momentum it's actually harder to keep going than it is to stop. So most people stop. And many of us are riding at two mph (right now). 4) The smallest obstacle (a little rock perhaps) will throw you off course because you haven't created enough momentum.
But what happens when we start to increase the momentum and complete that same ride at say, twenty mph?
1) We make much greater progress. 2) We're happier and more motivated. 3) Because of the greater momentum, it's far easier to keep moving forward than it is to stop. 4) Once we have the momentum, we actually expend less energy for a much better result. 5) We don't even notice the little rocks; our momentum is such that we go right over them.
When I work with people, I usually focus on two key areas:
Emotional and psychological momentum. This is all about getting our head and heart when they need to be to create forever change. We can do this a few ways:
1) Spend time with people who motivate, inspire, challenge and teach you. Hanging out with high-achievers rubs off... you'll start to think, communicate and create differently. Hanging out with Mr (or Mrs) Woe-is-me (or a whole bunch of them) will give you the opposite.
2) Make a public commitment (as you GYSTers have done) - not necessarily to thousands of people on a web-site but maybe to family and friends. Overall this creates a greater level of responsibility, accountability, excitement and expectation... and typically (but not always) creates better results.
3) Forming habits - once something has become a habit (good or bad), we do it automatically. We don't have to constantly d-r-a-g our sorry asses up to the challenge. High achievers have (good) habits which have been programmed in over months and years of... doing. When a certain behaviour is a habit, then not doing what we should... isn't a consideration. And that's what we want. Why do you clean your teeth every morning? Because the thought of not cleaning them doesn't even occur to you right?... well that is how we need to be with other positive habits and behaviours.
4) Having a coach or an accountability partner. Someone who will call you on your BS, encourage you and kick your ass... all at the same time. This proves to be a great strategy for many people. Having someone that you respect (probably don't choose your best friend) involved in the process is often a more effective method for creating momentum (than flying solo).
5) And of course goal setting and planning... but we probably don't need to go over this again; you get it.
Practical momentum. This is about having practical things in place which keep us doing.
Being enrolled in a course. Having an exercise partner. Signing up for an eight-week fitness boot camp. Volunteering to do some regular work with a charity. Having non-negotiable weekly appointments or commitments (like a GYST update). Having non-negotiable responsibilities... stuff to do for yourself or others. Being a part of a team working towards a common goal. Or any practical commitment which will ensure that you keep doing what you need to do.
I'm sure that right now you could think of at least one practical way to create some momentum in your life. But thinking it and doing it.... different. And that's the challenge right?
So if you've been the master of hesitation and procrastination, maybe it's your time to create some life-changing momentum. Once and for all. Stop riding that bike at two mph and start pedalling a bit quicker. Or maybe it's time to put that Ferrari in first.
You'll enjoy the wind in your hair and the momentum is a rush.
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* Let's take our serious "what's the meaning of life" hats off today... and have some fun. Just because we can. Sometimes the deep and meaningful gets a little emotionally cumbersome,
