Archive of Motivational Speaker

Welcome to Craig's site.

Craig Harper is Australia's leading motivational speaker and educator (according to Google Australia). He is a highly sought-after corporate coach and is considered to be a leader and pioneer in the areas of personal and professional development.

Working with hundreds of teams, companies and a wide variety of organisations on numerous continents over the last twenty years has given Craig a unique insight into, and understanding of, human performance and all its variables. Craig has an ability to educate, inspire, challenge and make people laugh all at the same time!

Renovate Your Life Blog

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Like a Kid in a Candy Store.

How long is it since you got genuinely excited about something?
I'm not talking about moderate enthusiasm or slight motivation, no.. I'm talking about overwhelming, bursting-out-of-your-skin, child-like... excitement?
For some of us, it's years.

I love that feeling of child-like, can't-wait-to-tell-someone... excitement.
I've had it for the last forty eight hours (non-stop) and it's a great feeling.
Isn't it a pity that so many of us get to a point where we stop getting excited about things?

Apparently we're too mature, too intelligent, too responsible and too busy... for excitement.
Or maybe too scared.
Too cynical.
Too pessimistic.
Too self-conscious.

At some stage we replaced our youthful excitement and hope... with logic, self control and the voice of reason (snore).

BORING.

I spoke to a lady recently (who happens to be hating her life) about the possibility of changing her reality and getting passionate and excited about what her future might hold and her response to me was:

"I decided a while ago that it's much safer and far less painful to not get excited about anything; that way I'm less likely to get disappointed and hurt. My life has taught me to lower my standards, expect very little and be a realist."

"Wow!!... I'm so glad I don't live in your life... it sounds crap", I (thoughtfully) informed her.

Excitement Lesson One:
Excitement doesn't happen to us; we create it.

When I told her that excitement was something we choose, create and infect others with, she thought I needed professional help.
Some people are excitement machines; they are excited about life, opportunities, the future, challenges.. and what they might create.
They have made that decision (to have that mindset).

When we get excited (passionate, driven, motivated, proactive), we start to create amazing results.
We start to do, think, be and create... different.
Excitement produces results.
Want results?... get excited.
Simple.

Lesson Two:
Successful people get excited regularly (on purpose).

And when they get excited, so do others.. because excitement is contagious.
People wanna hang out with people who get excited about possibilities, potential... and life.
People who are excited (not to be confused with hyperactive, annoying and socially inappropriate - you know who I mean) are cool to be around because they are positive, fun and attractive (that is, their energy attracts people).

Excitement creates momentum.
Excitement changes situations, circumstances and environments.
Excitement affects others... as does a crappy attitude and negativity.

This week I have been very excited.
Very.
Canya tell?

I know when I'm reaaaaally excited about something because :
(1) I think about it all the time.
(2) I plan, I research, I write, I visualise.
(3) I drive people nuts talking about it.
(4) I'm more productive and proactive.
(5) My mind is busy, busy, busy.. with possibilities.
(6) I'm happier.

For years I have had a picture in my mind of a property I wanted to own and a business I wanted to develop and run from that property.

Here's my picture:
(I've never shared this publicly so don't tell anyone, it's our secret)

The property is about fifty acres in area (huge).
It has creek running through it.
It is a wilderness setting with most of the property uncleared (of trees).
It has a beautiful old-style home (for me) and accommodation (huts, cabins) for about fifty people.
It has all the facilities and resources (commercial kitchen, lecture theatre, meeting rooms, etc.) for me to be able to run workshops, seminars and live-in personal and professional development programs.
It is located at the end of a windy dirt road and it is totally private, exclusive and serene.
It is near the coast.
The air is so pure it burns my city-slicker lungs and hurts my smog-conditioned eyes.

You already know what I'm gonna say don't you?
No.. I haven't purchased anything, but...

I have been investigating properties seriously for a while now and two days ago (at 12.30am after four hours of researching) I found my dream property.
It ticks every box.
Exactly.

It is set at the base of a mountain, it borders a national forest, it is twenty minutes from the coast, it has everything I want, even the creek... complete with fish.
If I was to build my dream from scratch, this is what I would have built.

I have only seen electronic brochures and spoken to the agents (three times) but everything I've heard and seen is very positive.
Exciting even.
I am off to see it in the flesh next Monday morning (it's a few hours each way to drive).
I'm counting the sleeps.

Think of something that excites you... and then multiply it by ten... and that's me right now.

I love excitement.
I love possibilities.
I love exploring, pushing, discovering and creating.

I dunno what's gonna happen next Monday but I do know I love this feeling.
So glad I haven't grown up yet.

Waddabout you?

When are you gonna get excited about something?
Anything?

Maybe sometimes... you could stop being so careful and sensible... and 'the same'?

I dare you.
Double dare you.

And if you're very good, I might let you come and visit it me on my new property... and possibly let you ride my big-ass mower.

Or not.

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help

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Monday, July 30, 2007

Fakes and Frauds; Shopping for Integrity and Honesty.

Last week I was working out with my buddy Matt.

The exercise scientist and the physio (physical) therapist (two old farts) in the gym going hard at it and lifting heavy.
And while the other young, new-age trainers were balancing precariously on their wobble boards, hanging off cables like gorillas in the mist and generally championing the cause of functional training, the bodybuilding relics who have been training together for twenty something years were well and truly engrossed in their very nonfunctional, irrelevant, old-school workout of bench press, lat pulls and dead-lifts; not a wobble board, exercise ball or pilates bench in sight.
Bliss.

My rotator cuffs, bulging discs and forty three year-old joints could be heard screaming from the next suburb... but it was all worth it.
It's always worth it.

But alas, I digress... and I haven't even started!

So there we were.. in between lifting heavy stuff when Matt shared an interesting (almost unbelievable) story with me:

"So I went and trained at (un-named gym) this week and saw something interesting."
"What?"
"A guy (personal trainer) who was training two ladies..."
"And?"
"Well, they were on the floor doing some abs, he was reclining his big fat ass on one of the benches, looking totally disinterested in his clients..."
"Yeh..."
"...and totally engrossed in the MEAT PIE he was STUFFING INTO HIS FAT FACE!"
"NO!!!!!!... In the actual gym?"
"Yep."

Now, I'm not sure what bothers me most about this story: (1) the pie eater or (2) the clients who are stupid enough to pay a junk food-eating, out-of-shape, disinterested idiot to get them in shape.
Girls, lift your standards!
Here's a hint... if he's not walking the talk, he probably ain't gonna be enormous value to you.
Any value in fact.

I dunno about you guys, but fakes and frauds are very low on my people-to-hang-out-with list... especially those who want to take your money under the pretense of being an 'expert' who can help you create your best life (body, financial situation, career, mind-set, relationships).

And I have dealt with many...

I always wondered about that financial advisor I met who didn't actually have any money, assets or investments of his own (I checked him out).
And the (numerous) life-coaches I've met who don't (remotely) have their own lives together.
And the delusional psychologist I know who tries to date (!) his patients.
And the sixty year-old marriage counsellor who is in her fifth marriage and tried to tell me how relationships work.
And the dynamic business coach I spoke with last week... who's never actually succeeded in business.
And the numerous personal trainers I've met who abuse drugs and alcohol and then chastise their clients for eating carbs after three!

I could go on.. but you get my point.

They are the Milli Vanilli's of the 'goods and services' world; lip syncing money out of your pocket and trust out of your heart.

Keep in mind that... 93% of communication is non-verbal, so if you want to know what people are REALLY like, listen less and watch more.
What people DO will tell you way more about them than anything that ever comes out of their mouth.
Many people tell us what (they think) we want to hear.. especially when it's in their financial interest.
If they are (consistently) saying one thing and doing another, they're not the real deal.
No shit Sherlock.

So next time you're shopping for a service or product, put integrity and honesty at the top of your list and you'll save yourself some heart-ache and money.

* Let me know your thoughts and stories on frauds and fakes (don't use names). Leave your name (if you wish) and let us know where you're from.

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help

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Sunday, July 29, 2007

Exploring Support Systems

Isn't it funny how things happen?
It's five past eleven am (Saturday) as I type this word, been up since four thirty and did my radio show between six and ten.
Five minutes ago I had just walked in the front door and was making myself a cup of tea when it dawned on me that I haven't posted (written an article) for a few days.
As I jiggled and dangled my teabag and pondered my next addition to the site, I was acutely aware of my lack of inspiration; usually things present themselves to me and say "here I am.. people need to know about me, start writing.".. . but today; nothing, donuts, nada, zippo.

It was a veritable black-hole of creativity.

As a rule it's pretty busy in my head.. and the bloke with the yellow woolly wig, red nose and the big green shoes who rides the unicycle around my brain is ever-present.
But today...

Blankarama.

"Oh well, something will hit me.. I'll head up the stairs to my computer, check my emails and see if I get inspired", I told myself.

So two minutes ago I opened my emails and there were two (site-related) emails only; both were replys to (comments on) the same article - A Practical Guide to Overcoming Procrastination.
Both were from (allegedly) different people, both said (very) similar things and both asked me to write a post on exactly the same issue.

This is pretty amazing when you consider that:
(1) Not too many people write to request that I address specific subjects
(2) The emails were sent by different people six minutes apart and
(3) Of the two hundred-plus posts I've written, both people commented on just the one post... which was written some time ago.

So I guess there are a few possibilities:
(1) I'm meant to write on this subject
(2) Someone sent me two emails under different names
(3) That's some weird-ass coincidence.

Personally, I'm goin' for option two but I figure that if someone will go to the trouble of writing two different emails under two different names they must really need some answers and direction... so for that reason alone, I better (do my best to) help them out.

Here are the emails... you figure it out.

Email one. (sent at 9.18am)
Hi Craig, Great post.
I read your post early yesterday morning and consequently had a really productive day getting things done that I had been putting off for 2 months. I feel much better having done them, almost like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I read your posts regularly and I would like to make a request. Could you please write a post on support systems (partners, friends etc)and their importance in life.
I'm sure in your position you have plenty. In our busy lives I feel it is difficult to always remember those who are our rock, our support. What do you think?
Louise, Ringwood

Email two. (sent at 9.24am)
G'day Craig, Great post.
I have a request. Could you please write a post on support systems in life (friends, partners etc). I have a very busy life and just realised how much I take my support systems for granted. How do you believe support systems have helped you? How do you make time for those who mean a lot to you?
Nadine

I'm thinkin' Louise and Nadine might closely related.
Real close.

Irrespective of their source, I think they are important issues and questions.. and at the same time, probably not something that was front of mind for me (in terms of subject matter to write on).

So here we go; support systems.

Well.. err.. ah... I.. ah.. guess.. I...
Is it hot in here?
Can someone turn on the air?

Hmm; possibly a tricky subject for the fiercely independent, I don't-need-anyone's-help, only child.
Time for some introspection, humility and honesty.
Darn that whole honesty thing... so over-rated.
Can't I just fib a bit and tell you all how ace I am at accepting people's help?
Guess not.

Okay, first I'll chat in general terms about our (human) support systems and then I'll chat about me personally (do I have to?)

Part one; the general stuff.
On some level, we all need our own support system... be that in the form of family and friends or something more formal and professional like a coach, mentor, therapist, psychologist, dietitian or doctor... or perhaps someone a little more spiritual like a rabbi, pastor, guru or.. (insert the religious leader of your choice).
Or maybe a combination of them all!

We all desire to be loved, wanted, respected and important to someone.
And we regularly need encouragement, guidance, support, feedback and occasionally, correction (some more than others).

In truth, there is no 'set' method or 'rules' for being part of someone's support system or building a perfect one for yourself; different people need different things.
While one person will thrive on constant feedback, approval and attention, another will resent it.
I think the question to ask when we look at our own support system is whether or not we have a healthy one... and whether we have a practical, functional, common-sense model, or an unhealthy dependency on another person or group.
For some people their support network has become their dependency network.
They can't function independently.

That positive in their life has become a negative.

Social and emotional support is great, but social and emotional dependency is unhealthy.
And common.

Sometimes there's a fine line between helping and hindering someone on their journey.
Sometimes not helping someone... is what's best for them.
Even though it may be painful and unpleasant at the time (for both parties), sometimes tough love produces the best results (over time).

I have worked with many people who have been 'protected' and 'supported' into total dysfunction. Their 'support system' is so extensive and pervasive that they don't know where they (personally) end... and their support system starts; they don't think or do for themselves.
They end up with no practical coping skills.
They are helped.. into helplessness.
They end up weak; incapable of dealing with problems, making decisions or thinking for themselves.
On the other hand... I've also worked with people who have been supported back into health, happiness and productivity; people who have moved from dependant to independent (yay).

We've all heard the saying, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a life time".
Well, some people have been handed too many fish for far too long.
They're like the sad seals we see at the zoo who have been hand-fed for so long that they are incapable of surviving in the 'real world' (their natural habitat).
Put 'em in the ocean and they die... because their 'support system' took away their 'life-skills'.

I'm all for healthy support systems and helping people but I believe the best gift to give someone is that of personal empowerment; new skills, new attitude, new possibilities.
And (loving) honesty.
Periodically, brutal honesty.

But... I will only share (what I believe to be) the truth with people who:
(1) Want to hear it and
(2) I believe can cope with that truth.

I Hope that, for some of you, I am part of your support system.
That would be my honour and pleasure.
I want to encourage, provoke, challenge and teach you... but ultimately, I want you to do it.
You to make the decisions.
You to get uncomfortable.
You to confront your fears.
And you to grow and develop by scraping your knees on a regular basis

If you've got no recent scabs or scars you're probably not fulfilling your potential.

Part two; the Craig stuff.
To make it easy (on me!), I think I'll refer to the specific questions from the emails.

(1) How do you believe support systems have helped you?
I am very fortunate in that I work with two of my best friends; Johnnie and Mikey boy (love you lads). Not only do they tell me I'm an idiot when I need to hear it, but they also give me the practical, emotional, social support and perspective I need... to do what I do.
And I do my best to support them also.
While working with your friends can prove to be catastrophic for some, for me it's one of the high-lights of my life; I love it.
If I'm gonna spend so much time working, it may as well be with people I care about.

Over my journey the thing I've relied on most from my friends, mentors and family has been their honesty and feedback. I hate it when people tell me what they think I want to hear... when in reality, all I need to hear, is the truth.
Whether it's comfortable or not.

Like most, I also love encouragement and support but only if it's absolutely genuine.. and not someone merely trying to pump up my tyres.
I guess being an only child and living on my own since I was eighteen has meant that I am relatively independent and self-sufficient (to a point).

This can be good and bad.

Good because it means that I have reasonably good coping skills and can deal with most things... and bad because it means that, at times, I have a tendency to (unintentionally) keep people at a distance (emotionally).
While I do love and trust many people, it is not always easy, natural or even wise to trust people when so many have demonstrated an ability to be dishonest and deceitful.
I think it is wise that we let people earn the right to be loved and trusted by us.

Over the years I have had many people lie, cheat and regularly steal from me (if you've ever owned a business which deals in cash, you'll understand).
And while there is no residual bitterness, anger or any other negative emotion loitering deep within my subconscious, there is a certain level of skepticism, caution and discernment with which I approach people.. in both my personal, and professional lives.
By the way, that's called being smart, not cynical.

Having said all of that, I have always been a person who looks for the good and who has more belief in most people than they do in themselves.

(2) How do you make time for those who mean a lot to you?
I am a good listener and I am reasonably perceptive when it comes to what people need, how they are wired and what will make them feel loved, needed, secure and appreciated.
But if I'm being completely honest, I don't spend enough time with some people who are important to me... and yes I'm working on it.
Don't tell anyone, but I'm flawed.
Yep, I stuff up on a regular basis.
I hurt, neglect and offend.
I never intend to.. but I do it.
I think it's called being human.

If only I was a cyborg.

The practical realities of my life mean that, at times, it's tricky for me to spend enough quality time with some of the people I care about... so for me, it's a matter of balancing the practical with the personal, emotional and social.
I'm getting better at it.
Just don't talk to my friends.
And don't let them read this.

Well Louise and Nadine, thanks for challenging me and making me think.
Dunno if I was any help at all but hey, at least we opened the door on an interesting subject.

Hmm... I just thought; waddif 'Louise and Nadine' are actually friends of mine who wrote those emails in order to make me think?
Hey that would be sneaky.

No wonder I don't trust them.
(kidding).

So clearly, I don't have the final word on support systems.. so please share your thoughts and teach me something.

* Click on the comments button, let us know your name and where you're from. If you've never left a comment... stop being a chicken.

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help

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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Simulated Learning; Looks like Learning, but Isn't.

We all say we want to learn... but do we really?
We think we're open-minded 'students of life'... but maybe, just maybe... we're not.
Perhaps we just tell ourselves we are because it makes us feel good about... us.

"Oh yes, I'm very open-minded.. the world's my classroom and every day is a new lesson."

Sure it is Pinocchio.

What if we're actually people who just read, hear and watch lots of stuff?
And then do nothing with it.
We don't actually learn much at all.

"But Craig, I read and study... I attend workshops... I do courses... and I put your articles on my fridge."

But do you consistently apply all that information and create different results?
"Sorry Craig, the line is breaking up... what did you say... sorry.. what, I can't hear you... I'll call you later."

Does reading, hearing and watching necessarily translate to learning?
No.
Sometimes it just translates to... reading, hearing and watching.
Does attending countless workshops and courses necessarily equate to learning?
No.
Sometimes it just equates to more debt.
We all know people who consume self-help material voraciously but rarely learn anything.
Sometimes we are those people.

So when it comes to personal growth (what we all want), what is real learning?

Learning is changing.
Learning is doing different.
Learning is creating better outcomes.
Learning is reading, hearing, watching and then applying.
Learning is taking the theory and making it a practice.
Learning is doing what's uncomfortable but necessary.
Learning is being prepared to admit (1) we don't know or (2) we've been wrong.

Memorising a whole bunch of stuff ain't learning.
It's memorising.
Nice party trick but ain't gonna change our reality for the better.
I know people who recite motivational crap all day... but don't actually live it.

So why do we come to sites like this?
(Okay, we come here specifically because I'm mind-blowingly funny, amusing, insightful and frickin' entertaining... but other than that... )
Because we want to read and memorise volumes of my thoughts and philosophies?
No.
Because we love Craig?
Sadly, no.

We come here because we want to create positive change in our life.
And the real indicator of learning is change.
If the result of your reading, hearing and watching is that you are creating better results... then you're learning.

If you're not, then you need to learn to learn.
Properly.

It's been said (okay, I said it) that we are often students of convenience... we'll learn what we want to learn; what doesn't challenge us too much and what doesn't inconvenience us.

Many people don't learn (as well or as often as they could), not because they can't... but because (on some level) they don't want to.
Real learning is (often) painful, messy, time-consuming, impractical, exhausting and inconvenient.. and we all hate being put out.
We say we want to learn... but when we're totally honest about it, we're going through the motions.

Simulated learning; looks like learning, but isn't.

When I give a corporate presentation I can usually spot at least one or two non-learners before I open my mouth... they usually have their arms crossed (defensive body language) and a what-would-you-know-you-idiot... look on their face.
For some reason best known to them, they have decided that they can't learn anything from me.
And they don't.

It doesn't matter what's about to come out of my mouth... they have made a decision (consciously or not) to not learn anything from me.
If you're in a (quality) seminar and the majority of the people are learning something... and you're not, then there's a few possibilities:

(1) You're a genius and you know it all.
(2) You're handicapping yourself with your own issues and superiority complex.
(3) You don't want to learn.

I can usually tell the difference between people who genuinely want to learn and people who don't.
Some possible indicators:

(1) The questions they ask; people who want to learn ask genuine questions, people who don't, make statements or say nothing.
People who want to learn are almost child-like; excited, open-minded, ready.
(2) Their body language; arms crossed, body angled away from the speaker, disinterested facial expressions... not interested.
(3) Their attitude; you can discern someone's attitude without talking to them.
The guy who's constantly talking through your presentation for example.
The one I wanna physically hurt.
(That's okay right?)
(4) They seem to be more concerned with demonstrating to the rest of the room how intelligent and amusing they are.
(5) Their participation or lack there of - head nodding, volunteering for activities, overall enthusiasm.

When don't we learn?
(1) When we don't want to (for whatever reason).
(2) When we don't want to be wrong or embarrassed.
(3) When we don't apply what we read, hear, watch.
(4) When we don't want to have to re-wire our thinking or disturb our current life.
(5) When someone is teaching something which challenges our current beliefs (this is a massive one).
(6) When we're not prepared to get uncomfortable or deal with the 'inconvenience' of it all.

What I find really interesting is that even with this post (article), some people who really need to hear and apply this message (it's like it was written just for them) will still decide to do nothing.
Even though they claim they're all about personal growth.
They will rationalise, justify and explain it to themselves (so they feel good about it)... and then they will find a way to remain a simulated learner.
Sad really.
And such a waste of potential.
And time.

So, are you reader, listener and watcher.. or are you a real learner?

* Say hi and tell us where you're from.

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help

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Sunday, July 22, 2007

A Needle of Negativity in a Haystack of Hope.

I'm back.

So my foray into the world beyond this one proved to be an interesting experiment; some loved it... and some, not so much.
A few of your comments:

"I think you hit this one out of the park!! Nice explanation for the difference between religion and spirituality. Awesome Blog Craig." - Dianne from Ontario

"Craig oh Craig, I think you just chased away all your readers." - Cheryl from SA

"I'm luvin' Oogabooga. You rock, Craig." - Christine from Canada

Thanks for your feedback.
How boring would it be if we all thought the same?
Pretty boring.
A little philosophy, spiritual exploration, paradigm shifting and mind-bending every now and then is healthy... if not always popular.

So in the next week I will present part two of 'Life Beyond the Physical' (when I have the time, energy and insight to sit down for several more hours than I do at the moment).

I am not easily offended and definitely not precious, so let me know what you would like to see me write about more (or less). If you have any ideas for topics I haven't explored, or explored enough, let me know.

Today Craig the Coach is back to chat briefly about a simple, but effective, strategy which can help us move from apathetic to amazing, from ordinary to extraordinary, from indifferent to inspired and from glass-half-empty, to glass-half-full.
If we actually apply what we learn.

It's about learning to ask the right questions.
The questions that lead us to a better place.

For some of the people that I have worked with over the years, every day seems to be a never-ending series of problems, catastrophes and less-than-desirable outcomes. They are perpetual victims and every situation, circumstance an/or event is accompanied with, or followed by, the inevitable negative, woe-is-me, self-talk and dis-empowering questions.

We've all had (or have) a.. 'the-world-is-about-to-end'... friend, relative, colleague in our life at some stage.
Now and then, we are that person.

I've probably spent time with more woe-is-me(ers) than most.
And what's always amazing is... when you listen to what's coming out of their mouth and then practically and unemotionally analyse their situation or circumstance... invariably, it ain't that bad.
At all.

They are drama magnets.
They find the bad.
Sure, there are some issues to be addressed (that's called being human) but they have a gift for turning a minor challenge into an international incident worthy of news coverage.

If there was needle of negativity in a haystack of hope... they'd find it in sixty seconds.

They have a PhD in negative self-talk... and what's likely to come out of that is:

(1) They will annoy the crap out of their long-suffering (but dwindling number of) friends who are too polite to tell them that their incessant complaining and negativity about everything in their life, drives them nuts and bores them senseless.

(2) They will alienate people and end up lonely - even really nice people hate hanging out with negative people all the time.

(3) They will talk themselves into depression, despair, anxiety, frustration and medication... or a combination of the five.

(4) They will spend so much time feeling sorry for themselves and finding the bad that they'll never actually do anything constructive to create real positive change.

(5) They'll waste most, if not all of their time, talent an energy on the stuff they can't change, while spending none of their time, talent and energy on the stuff they can.

They are masters of the "why me?" conundrum; the questions which invariably lead them to self-pity, inactivity, frustration and emotional, psychological, spiritual, social, financial and professional (career) stagnation.

If only they would look for solutions not problems.

If only they would ask the right questions; the one's which can potentially change their lives for the better.

So many times in our lives we are an inch away from amazing but we don't know it.
And so often, it's those moments when we feel a million miles form where we wanna be.. that we're actually the closest... but we let our feelings get in the way of our possibilities.

If only we would ask different questions.

Questions which put us in a different state.
Which in turn get us to do different things.
Which in turn produce different results!
Bingo.

"Why does this always happen to me?" becomes "What am I doing to create this?."

"Why was I given these genetics?" becomes "What can I do to maximise my genetic potential?"

"Why is he such an ignorant butt-head?" becomes "How do I need to communicate with this person to create the best outcome?"

"Why is my boss such hard work" becomes "I wonder what it's like to deal with these issues from her position?" or "I wonder what I can do to make things better?" or "I wonder how I am contributing to the problem?"

"When is it ever gonna happen?" becomes "When am I gonna make it happen?"

"When will things finally go my way?" becomes "when will I stop feeling sorry for myself and stop being a lazy, self-indulged, pain-in-the-ass who does nothing to create a better reality?"
(Yes, harsh... but in my opinion, often appropriate).

We can tip-toe around issues like this, we can get all super PC, we can hold hands and sing folk songs and tell each other... "I understand your pain" till we're blue in the face... but until we stop enabling people in their pathetic, destructive, woe-is-me attitudes and behaviours, we will be part of the problem.
When I mentor people I am empathetic and understanding but I am honest, I am blunt and I am all about creating positive, forever change.
Real help doesn't come from getting on board someone's emotional roller-coaster or pity-party. No, it comes from helping them to embrace and implement practical, proven, behavioural principles and change techniques.

I'm not interested in making someone feel better for ten minutes by telling them what they want to hear... only to let them walk out the door and back into the same destructive habits, behaviours and self-talk.
Sometimes people who think they're being loving (by tolerating people's constant negativity) are actually enabling them to continue down their destructive path.
Don't confuse being nice with being loving.
Nice lasts for five minutes.

So... do you find that needle in the haystack or have you learned to ask the right questions?

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help

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Friday, July 20, 2007

Life Beyond the Physical... Exploring the Oogabooga (part one)

It's not often that I start writing a post while having no idea where it might end up.
In fact, I've never done it.. but today is such a day.
I know vaguely what I want to chat about, but that's it.
Mr I've-got-a-plan.. doesn't have one.
Mr I-know-exactly-what-I-want-to get-across.. is clueless.
Mr Clarity.. has none.
So I'm gonna start writing and see what comes out.

I'm calling this experience freestyle blogging 101; no set plan, no clearly defined objectives; just an old, ex-bodybuilder running (okay, jogging) head-first into the literary wilderness and possibly, a spiritual mine-field.
Alright, it's a brisk walk.
Giddyup.

Here I go; 1,2,3...

Johnnie (my business manager, web-site guru, girl Friday and buddy) threw down the challenge yesterday for me to get a little adventurous and to explore something different with my next post.
"Stop talking about motivation, attitude, goal setting and carbs... I'm over it", he said.

Apparently I'm boring him.
Sorry John.

And being as he's my chief proof reader (a crap one, I might add), we wouldn't want him to lose focus would we?
He's all I've got!
So here it comes; different.
No goal-setting tips.
No twelve-steps to anything.
No motivational masterpiece.
And no how-to-change-yer-life-by-next-Tuesday pep talk.

Blame baldy.

You've all heard me say many times that we are multi-dimensional, complex, amazing beings.
And nearly every day on this site I talk about how we might create positive change in all areas of our lives and day-to-day reality; ways that we might learn, grow, change, improve, adapt, help others, live more effectively and understand more.

And having pumped out about two hundred posts/articles (over quarter of a million words!) on this site over the last nine months, there's one area I've consciously dared not tread.

It's known technically as the Oogabooga stuff.

Most of what I've written about to this point in time has explored the head stuff, the heart stuff, the body stuff and of course, the practical.

And I guess in some ways I don't feel qualified to talk about life beyond the physical world we live in... but fortunately for you and I, we don't need to be qualified to have an opinion or a personal philosophy... and we don't need anyone's approval to voice our thoughts or share our ideas.

So I'll share mine with you.. and then you can let me know how (you think) I've gone.

Let me know if I'm way off.
Or in the ball park.
(I can take it).
Keeping in mind that we're about meaningful, thoughtful exchanges here.. not about trying to ram our beliefs down someone else's throat.

I'm guessing most of us agree that.. while on one level we are all a bunch of muscles, tendons, bones and squishy organs, on another level, we are also spiritual beings.
Not that many of us know exactly what that means, but on some level, we feel there's gotta be something 'else'... we have this sense that 'this' isn't all there is.
I think if I took a poll on this right now we would get a consensus on this.

Alright, let's do it.
Pay attention world.
Hands up if you think we're physical, emotional, cerebral and spiritual beings.
Okay, lemme count... 1, 2, 3, .... 4,235,790,337, 4,235,790,338, 4,235,790,339... yep, it's confirmed; most of us believe there's more.
We don't necessarily understand what that means... but we do believe there is something else; some kind of spiritual realm.
More than this physical world we live in.
More than we have experienced to this point in time.
More than what we can see, touch, smell and experience with our physical senses.
More than we might understand with our highly developed, logical, rational, scientific brains.

Sometimes we don't want to acknowledge that there might be more than what our eyes, ears and brain can perceive (a spiritual realm perhaps) because:

(1) It makes us uncomfortable.. if not, totally scares the crap out of us.
(2) We don't really want to explore it, as it might require a level of change on our behalf... and we're kinda comfy and secure where we are.
(3) We've got absolutely no idea where or how to start the journey and
(4) We've had bad experiences with certain 'religious' organisations or people... or both.

I'm hearin' ya.

All too often people (and their numerous issues) get in the way of others experiencing something truly amazing on a spiritual level.

Many of us grew up with some kind of theology (philosophy, ideology) imposed on us.
If mum and dad were Catholics, Mormons or Quakers... there's a fair chance you're not gonna be a Buddhist by your tenth birthday (or vice-versa).
Put simply, most of us believe (accept, embrace, default to) whatever our parents believe because that's how we've been programmed; that's the only story we've heard (this is not intended to be an insult or criticism but rather, my observation).

When you're seven years-old, you're not gonna come out with:

"Hey, you know what dad... I'm not sure about your perspective on the whole God, universe, eternity, spirituality thing... In fact, I've done some significant research, weighed it all up... and I think your theology is essentially flawed. Take a seat you ignorant old, brain-washed fart and let me enlighten you."

No, when you're seven.. it's more like:

"Reaaaally.... wow... seven feet tall, huge feet, floppy ears, free chocolate... cooooool!!"
(Okay, perhaps that was just me).

When you have certain ideologies and philosophies re-enforced from birth, you don't even question them.
Right or wrong.. is not even an issue.
In fact, many of us were taught from a young age "we're right and all the others are wrong."
Some of us were taught (instructed) not to consider or explore other theologies or spiritual philosophies.
And if we did (step out of our designated spiritual box), it was cause for great concern.

"Luke.. this is your father....stay away from the dark side."

Err.. but that would be indoctrination wouldn't it?
Manipulation perhaps?
Almost, dare I say it... 'cult-ish' behaviour?

Nooooo... not us.
Others do that, we don't.
We just don't want you to be mislead... or to see you get hurt.

"Anyway, we're all going to heaven, they're not."
Shame.
Oh well, we're okay.
Lucky us.
"The others think they know... but only we really know. "

"It's a good thing that only we (our particular religion, denomination) have that exclusive spiritual hot-line to Elohim, Allah, Yahweh, Bhagavan, Jesus, The Buddha, God (insert the deity of your choice)."

Hey... wouldn't it be ironic if the very thing which retarded our spiritual development and understanding was in fact, religion?
After all, we know that religion is a man-made thing... not a God-made thing right?

How great would religion be if people weren't involved??!
I'd join.
In my experience (don't ya love that as a disclaimer?) sometimes we need to wade through all the human stuff.. before we can even get a wiff of any spiritual truth.

Sometimes 'religion' is a synonym for division.
And a catalyst for war, bloodshed, pain, suffering, intolerance and hatred.
I personally find that so weird.
And sad.

If was a researcher from another planet and I was studying human behaviour on a global scale.. I don't think I'd be in any hurry to get 'religious'.

But then we shouldn't really confuse religion with spirituality because often... they have very little to do with each other.
In truth, some very 'religious' people have never had a spiritual experience in their life.

Maybe what gets in the way of our spiritual development is in fact, logic.
Logic based on science.
We are a culture which reveres science; it makes us feel safe and smart.
It's the basis for our understanding of most things.
Science which is at odds with a spiritual world.
Are you still with me?
(Even I'm confused and I'm writing it!).

But in all that 'learning' perhaps we shut ourselves down to something much more amazing and liberating than anything we could grasp (see, measure, quantify) with our logical, scientific, limited understanding.
What if there is a world beyond our conventional science and thinking... beyond what we know?
And what if we've been missing out on something amazing because we're too fearful, proud, stubborn or 'intelligent' to consider that there might be something more?
Something incredible.
Something more exciting, rewarding, liberating and mind-blowing than any 'thing' we could ever achieve, own or create on a human or practical level.

Sadly, many people never even begin to explore their own spirituality; they don't get to know their spiritual selves.
It scares them.
They've been 'taught' to fear the unfamiliar.
Sad.
I have a friend who put his hands over his ears and opts for the "la, la, la.. don't wanna know, don't wanna know".. option whenever a conversation about that 'spiritual stuff' permeates his world.

"Don't talk about that stuff; it creeps me out", he says.
"But aren't you even a little interested or intrigued", I ask.
"Nuh!!"

When I suggest that even he might be more than a collection of bones, biceps and brain.. he changes the subject.

And then we have those people who create their own version of a particular religion or spiritual philosophy to 'fit in' with how they want to live their life.
Interesting concept.

"I'll believe in something as long as it doesn't impede on my lifestyle."

"Welcome to the 'Church (Synagogue, Temple, Mosque) of Perpetual Convenience'.. we'll never put you out... just believe the bits of our book that suit you."

These days in our schools it's common place for kids to be taught that if they can't see it, touch it, hear it, measure it, analyse or quantify it... it probably doesn't exist.

But what if it does?

Surely there are lots of things which do exist but are not necessarily logical?
Stuff that doesn't necessarily fit into our nice, neat, predictable, safe, conventional-thinking-box.
What if those who teach... don't know?
What if those that make the 'rules' (about what should and shouldn't be taught) don't know?
Or care?
What if our kids are 'learning' from the ignorant and un-enlightened?

Not only do they have their creativity beaten out of them by a system which frowns upon creative expression and celebrates 'academic' excellence... but now they're being discouraged from exploring and developing an important part of who they are as people; their spiritual selves.

I'm not suggesting the mandatory teaching of any particular philosophy or theology... but I am suggesting that we don't beat the natural curiosity out of our kids by imposing spiritual sanctions or completely indoctrinating them with overtly humanistic teaching and thinking

Okay.. so that would be the end of part one.
It's a good thing I didn't have a plan!
And all this from a scientist... who'da thunk it?

Hope I haven't weirded you out, too much.

Let me know your thoughts and where you're from.

Part two... soon.

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help

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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Fat by Choice - The Choice is Yours

Disclaimer: The people I refer to in this post are not those who may have a weight problem for legitimate medical reasons. No, I am talking about people who are fat for behavioural reasons.
People who are fat by choice.

Blunt day.
If you're out of shape and feeling precious, come back later.
Or not.
I know we've touched on this subject before, but I think we need to revisit it... some recent discussions and observations tell me so.

I'm (still) sick of people who have made themselves fat.. NOT taking responsibility for their fat selves. Listen to them and apparently their obesity is about everything but personal choice and responsibility.

It has nothing to do with them.

They are helpless victims of the big nasty corporations who mercilessly manipulate and control the masses. I didn't realise that the multitudes who flock to McDonalds and Krispy Kreme are in fact fast-food Zombies, incapable of making decisions for themselves or experiencing free will.
Allegedly the fast food giants are using some kind of Jedi-mind-manipulation thing while we all sleep.
Clever.
And don't forget those ultrasonic, low-frequency, invisible, silent, odourless, undetectable-by-human being, hunger-stimulation waves that they constantly pump into the atmosphere.
Didn't have those in the fifties!

And all this time I've stupidly been thinking that when I gain some fat it's my fault.
It's so liberating to know that my big fat gut is not my responsibility.
Such a relief.
And it's so much fun blaming someone or something else for my gigantic, bloated body.
It doesn't help me lose weight of course.. but the venting gives me an emotional release for a few minutes... and that's healthy.. right?

Okay, I know this all sounds a little sarcastic and excessive... but listen to the crap that comes out of some people's mouths when they talk about their body/diet/lifestyle... and you'll discover that this is how they think.

A couple of things to consider:

(1) We (the collective we) have never been more educated about health and all it's related issues - diet, lifestyle, exercise, stress, obesity, work/life balance.
We live in the information/education age.

(2) We've never had more resources to help us get/stay in shape: trainers, weight-loss, specialists, fat-farms, books, DVD's, programs, dietitians, life-coaches, low-fat-low-salt-low-sugar-low-GI-low-taste foods, surgery, pills, powders, potions, gizmos, gadgets, saturation TV coverage of anything to do with obesity and of course, the constant stream of never-seen-before scientific breakthroughs.

And despite this... we continue to get fatter.
And fatter.

Every day, educated, informed, intelligent people who don't want to be fat... remain fat by CHOICE; every day they choose to eat more fat, sugar, salt and calories than their body needs.
They choose unhealthy foods.
They choose sugary drinks.
They choose alcohol.
They choose to drive to the drive-thru restaurant.
They choose to sit on the couch.
They choose to not exercise.
They choose to not read (or learn to read) food labels.
They choose not be responsible.

And still, the do-gooders run around with their arms in the air crying for corporate blood... "how can these companies be allowed to sell this stuff", they ask.

Hey do-gooders.. here's an old-fashioned concept for you... don't buy it and don't eat it!

Every day I talk to people who constantly eat foods they shouldn't despite (1) knowing what they're putting in their mouth is unhealthy and (2) being desperate to lose weight.
When we really think about it, it's actually kind of amazing.

When you're fat and educated (that is, know good food from bad) and you consistently put that burger or cake in your mouth, then you're choosing obesity.
Yes we can analyse the behaviours, the triggers, the emotional issues and the psychology of it all... but when we dumb it down and be totally honest with ourselves (there's a concept) we still have total control over (1) what we put in our mouth and (2) how fat we are or aren't.

As long as we dance around the REAL ISSUES we will continue to get fatter.
And the simple, non-negotiable facts are:
(1) We eat too much
(2) We move too little
(3) We make excuses
(4) We make bad choices
(5) We don't take complete responsibility

As a society I believe we are now at the point where the obesity epidemic will not be rectified by more education, more ab-blasters or more low-sugar cereals... I believe the answer is a massive global reality check... and a lesson in self-control and effective decision making wouldn't hurt either.

Let me know your thoughts and where you're from.

Labels: choice, motivation, personal development, self help

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Sunday, July 15, 2007

A Practical Guide to Overcoming Procrastination

I know, I know; it's a boring title... not creative, not amusing, not clever.
But for many of us, it's a very relevant subject.
Every now and then I take off my silly, creative, fun hat and put on my let's-address-this-problem-in-a-practical-way.. hat.
Today is such a day.
Mr. Serious Personal Development Dude.
Almost.

There are two types of waiters:
(1) those who serve people food and drinks and
(2) those who wait, literally.

I don't eat out a lot, so I don't have much to do with the first type of waiter.
But I do deal with waiter number two on a daily basis; people who always seem to be waiting.
Waiting for all the planets to align before they will take action.
Waiting for an easier way to produce the same outcome.

They have a history of not doing stuff.
Not making decisions.
Not dealing with issues.
Not having necessary conversations.
Not addressing problems.
Not being honest with themselves or others.
They are always waiting for the 'right time' to do things.

Unfortunately for them (and the rest of us), the right time never seems to come.
They are highly skilled at putting stuff (a scientific term encompassing a multitude of situations, issues and problems) off.
They can rationalise, justify and explain pretty much anything.

Often they are very effective at managing particular areas of their lives (they may even be high achievers), while simultaneously putting their head in the sand about other significant, life-affecting issues... for example; the fat, unhealthy (rich, stupid) business man who ignores his health until he has his first heart-attack.
He's been talking about getting in shape since the eighties.

We all know people (sometimes we are those people) who spend much of their lives waiting to address things which probably should have been attended to long ago.
So, how can we get them (okay, us) from almost doing - thinking, planning, talking... to actually doing (creating different results)?

If you've been 'about' to change your life (or part of it) for years, here are some practical tips for getting the job done:

1. Get yourself an accountability partner / coach.
Someone to kick your ass and keep you honest.
Doesn't matter if your coach is someone who is doing you a favour (friend, relative) or a professional with whom you have regular appointments... but be completely serious about the process.
Share you dreams, plans and goals with your coach, create a realistic action plan and then get busy.
By the way, don't work with someone who's gonna tell you what you want to hear (like your sloppy, emotional best friend); work with someone who will tell you what you need to hear.
Much better.

2. Create some non-negotiable rules for yourself.
These are absolutes.
"Every day I will jog for thirty minutes no matter what."
"I will not drink alcohol for the next eight weeks."
"I will never talk that way to that person again."
Share these commitments with your coach and select others.
Remember... if nothing changes (attitudes, decisions, behaviours), nothing changes (reality).
So commit to real change with some 'you' rules.

3. Consider what it means to not take action.
Visualise your life (health, work, relationships, emotional state, finances) five years from now if you keep procrastinating.
Consider the likely consequences of staying on your current path.
Like what you see?
Me either.
By the way, you'll wake up in a minute... and those five years will be gone.
So stop waiting for next week, month, year.
Decade!

4. Get stuff done early in the day.
It's not rocket science, but this proven principle works.
Still, many of us don't do it... despite it's simplicity and effectiveness.
It gets our head where it needs to be and typically sets us up for a (more) productive day.

5. Create a to-do list and do the stuff you've been avoiding, first.
It's tough but it's liberating.. and you'll feel grouse (Australian for great).
I spoke to a woman this week who actually did this (after much prompting from me) and she told me that a massive emotional weight had lifted from her shoulders.
She also said she regretted wasting so much time not dealing with things.

6. Consciously avoid making excuses.
When you feel an excuse climbing up onto your tongue... give yourself an uppercut.
And if you feel the urge again... then maybe a little left hook.
Find reasons to do stuff.. not constant justifications for your inactivity.

7. Swallow your pride and be prepared to make mistakes and to look silly now and then.
I look silly regularly... but then again, maybe that's just my nose.
Failure (making mistakes, falling over, producing undesirable results) is normal and part of the learning, growing, adapting, developing... process.
If you want to create amazing then get over your ego and pride and be prepared to learn a few tough life-lessons along the way.
We're all flawed and if we're not making mistakes and getting uncomfortable regularly, then we're probably not doing anything!
Take an emotional risk.
Get vulnerable.
You'll survive.

8. Give up TV for 28 days (or more).
Again, another really practical tip for people who are (allegedly) time-poor.
The no.1 excuse we make for not getting 'stuff' done is our lack of time.. so let's create some more.
Considering the fact that the average Westerner watches somewhere around twenty hours of TV per week... the eradication of those Desperate Housewives from our lives can only spell an increase in productivity. Imagine what we'd get done with an extra eighty-plus hours per month if we actually took that TV time and did something constructive with it!

9. Make a public commitment.
You don't need to take out a full-page newspaper advertisement or anything but... for some people (I'm one) a public commitment (to friends, family, colleagues perhaps) to do certain things and/or change certain behaviours or habits is a great way to create and maintain momentum.
(You'll get an opportunity to do this in a moment).

10. Make a financial commitment.
Not for everyone this strategy but for some, it works well.
Many people sign up with my Trainers and pay thousands of dollars in advance because they know that commitment will (hopefully) keep them doing what they need to do.
People always say to me, "if I pay for it up front, I'll do it."
Committing our hard-earned is often a great way to keep ourselves focused.

11. Stop looking for easy and start doing effective.
Without doubt, we are the quick-fix generation.
We don't like hard work.
We like quick, easy, convenient and painless.
Some of us never start because we're lazy and have an aversion to anything that looks like hard work.

12. Think less, do more.
Sometimes we think ourselves in to analysis paralysis; we think about things so much that we actually do nothing.
Thinking and planning is great... but not when it's all we do.
This is not to suggest that we should act without thinking... but rather, not to over-think.
Sometimes we know what we need to do and no matter how many times we analyse and re-analyse the situation, we come up with the same answer.
Take the step dude.

Well, there you have it; twelve suggestions to help you move from procrastination to productivity.

So... If you've been a career procrastinator, why don't you make a commitment to address that issue/situation right now? Why don't you share with me (and maybe a few thousand others) what you are going to change in your life and I'll encourage you and kick you in the butt.
You can be as specific or as general as you like.
We'll all keep you honest and you can check in periodically and provide us with a progress report.
Welcome to 'group'.
Imagine having thousands of accountability partners!
What more could you want?
Just click on the comments link below and get busy.

Or... you could wait until next week.

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help

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Thursday, July 12, 2007

The Blogger and the Surfer.

If there's anyone who can't afford to take a day off at the moment, it's me.
So for that very reason, I've decided to take one.

Sometimes the least convenient course of action is the right one.
It's impractical, but necessary.
Sometimes Mister turn-yer-life-around needs to give himself a good talking to.
Sometimes Mister 'Balanced' ... isn't.
Today I've headed down the coast to spend some quality time with... me.

Right now I'm sitting in the sand, two minutes from my beach house watching a lone surfer carving up the waves; the best playground in the world.
It's almost hypnotic.
Imagine having miles and miles of surf to yourself.
Sweet.
I find the sea kinda therapeutic and healing.
If I didn't have the motor skills of a new-born foal, I'd be out there with him.
Or not.
I don't think he's gonna die from any stress-related illness any time soon.
He's on his board and I'm on my laptop.
I obviously still have a way to go.
Baby steps for me.

At least I'm out of the office.
No phone.
No appointments.
No knocks on my office door.
No hurry.
Feet buried in the sand, winter sun on my back.
No wind and no clouds.
It's cool but it's slowly warming up and me and surfer dude are the only people for miles.
My biggest worry right now is keeping the sand out of my keyboard.
Such pressure.
I'm up to the challenge.

The thing I love about getting away from the busy-ness of my life is that it gives me instant perspective. I find it impossible to be (completely) objective about something when I'm in the middle of it... sometimes space (either physical or emotional) is exactly what we need to gain clarity and certainty about particular situations, circumstances and challenges.

And relationships.

When was the last time you got away from everyone and everything?
When was the last time you were alone for an extended period of time... no interruptions, no distractions, no noise, no stress... just genuine time for you to listen to you?
Patiently.
Sometimes the busier we are.. the less we accomplish.
The more miserable we are.
We talk about what we might do, be and create... but we seem to be getting further away from our dreams, while simultaneously working like dogs.

I think I might do this again next Thursday.
Without my laptop.

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help

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Monday, July 9, 2007

Welcome to Planet Possibility

So my Father is gonna hate this post 'cause it's about him.
Well, it's actually about possibilities.. but he makes a cameo.

"Ladies and Gentlemen... please make welcome to the blogosphere, my dad... Rrrrrron Haaaarper" (announced in a cheesy voice by the guy who does the Las Vegas fights... followed by some polite applause).
I probably shoulda asked him but he woulda said no... and then you would have all missed out on a potentially life-changing five minutes of insight and revelation... and who am I to deprive you of such an opportunity... even if it is at the expense of Harper Senior?
So saddle up Ron, I'm pushing you out onto the blogostage.
(Quick.. fix your hair).

Today I'm gonna take off my Drill Sergeant hat and put on my big brother hat, because I want to encourage you.
No yelling today.
No sarcasm either (phew).
Just some hand holding and gentle coercion.
Doesn't happen too often, so embrace the moment.

Carpe diem Dudes.

Today I want to encourage you to seriously consider a new world of possibilities.
To think about addressing the things you need to address (changing the things you need to change) by stepping off planet self-imposed-limitation... and onto Planet Possibility.
It's a fun place; it's where I live.

Drop over some time.

I want you to stop rationalising, excusing, blaming and waiting.
And I would love for today to be the day.
For you.
Okay, I'm being bossy again.
But in an encouraging kinda way?
Or not.
Sorry, I have the bossy gene.
It's hereditary.

Ron gave it to me.

A story:
A few years ago my father hung up his corporate boots (retired).
Now apart from the fact that I thought my mother (Mary) may murder him within the first two weeks of him being at home all day, I didn't know how the old fart would deal with moving from a situation of negotiating and managing massive responsibilities (huge emotional and intellectual stimulation) on a daily basis to.... "maybe I'll move the couch over there... waddya think Mary?"
(Well not exactly... but you get my point).

So the bloke who had been in charge of multi-million dollar organisations, many staff and daunting commercial responsibilities for years, instantly had an extra twelve hours a day to fill in.
Poor Mary.

So after he'd sprayed the tomatoes, cut the grass, cleaned the car and generally manicured the garden within an inch of it's life... there wasn't that much that needed to be done.

While many people anticipate their retirement with much excitement (and make a great success of it), for some, it is the beginning of the end; physically, emotionally, creatively, financially and psychologically.
For some, the day they stop working is the day they stop stimulating their brain and their body; the day they start deteriorating.

It's amazing how many people get 'old' within twelve months of retirement... just like it's amazing how quickly we lose muscle mass, strength and function (within days) when we don't use our muscles.
Some seventy year-olds are 'younger' than their fifty year-old friends, not because of the number of years they've been on the big blue ball but because of their attitude, their choices and their typical behaviour.
Chronologically they're older but practically and functionally, they're twenty years younger.

So it was with great delight that my mother informed me that Harper Senior had decided to develop his considerable, but largely ignored, artistic ability.
I say delight for four reasons:

1) It would mean numerous hours of him being occupied.
2) It would provide significant creative and psychological stimulation.
3) It would provide him with a level of personal and emotional satisfaction.
4) It would mean he was out of the house (painting in the garage)!!

As most of you know, I believe it's imperative for our health that we remain stimulated and challenged (physically, creatively and psychologically) no matter what our age.
When some people retire from work, they also retire their brain and their body.
For people who do this, what invariably follows is physical illness and/or depression.

So anyway back to the story...

The completely untrained would-be artist produced his first work within a week and it was amazingly good.
For someone who had never had an art lesson in his life, it almost defied logic.

When I showed some of my friends his art they thought I was lying to them; they didn't believe he had done the work.
If I had lessons every day for twenty years, I couldn't have produced what he did.
So a flame was ignited.
We always knew he had a talent but he had never done anything with it.

While his innate ability is something special, what has interested me more over the last three years is the massive improvement and learning which has taken place within the sixty eight year-old artist (not two things normally associated with people heading into their seventies).
Every week he learns something new.
Every month the quality of his work is improving.
He is getting better.
His skill level is improving dramatically.
He is winning art shows.
People are commissioning him to paint for them.
Freaky.

We're not talking about patronising some old guy here because he has an interest... "Oh, isn't it nice to see him out of his wheel chair and enjoying himself."
No, we're talking about an amazingly talented individual who is producing some incredible art.
His age is irrelevant... and that is one of the key differences.

Isn't it fantastic when we see a sixty eight year-old learning, growing, adapting, developing new skills and being stimulated, challenged and excited by a new world of possibilities?
What's amazing is that he'll be a better artist when he's seventy than he is now.. and better again at seventy five.

No, it's not conventional thinking.. but isn't it great when we start to find reasons to learn, grow, develop, adapt and change despite our age.
Despite our lack of education.
Despite our personal situation.
Despite our fear
And despite our history.

We (you and I) can learn and grow in any situation or environment if we want it enough.
And isn't it fantastic when we get a bit excited about what we might be, do and see in our lifetime?
It is for me.

Remember: if you want to create exceptional results then you need to do exceptional things; what most people won't.
(Not what they can't.. just what they won't).

Most people won't find a way to keep learning, growing and improving; they'll find a reason to complain, blame, rationalise and give up.
Do nothing.

Is it typical to keep learning, growing and improving as we age?
No.
Wanna be typical?
Me either.
Is it (necessarily) an easy process?
No.
But is it possible?
Very.
Is it rewarding?
Incredibly.

Imagine if we lived in a world where (almost) anything was possible.
A world where we had more talent and ability than we could ever fully use.
A world where you and I could do incredible things every day... if we chose to.
A world where you and I could accomplish more in a month than we'd ever dreamed of achieving in a lifetime.
Despite our age.
Despite our lack of education.
Despite our lack of emotional support.
Despite our crappy childhood.
Despite our numerous issues.
And any other excuse we might like to wheel out.

Well, of course we do live in that world.
But sadly, the majority of us don't take advantage of it.

So why don't you come over to my planet... the air's clear, the birds are singing, every day is a new lesson and a new possibility.
Sure there are a few challenges but the good always outweighs the bad... plus none of those annoying glass-half-empty people live here!

Let me know if you wanna come, I'll send a cab.

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help

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Saturday, July 7, 2007

The Name-less Post... (if Prince can do it).

Hey Guys.
This week (as most) has been crazy busy.

Some good stuff, some not-so-good stuff, some fun stuff... a few lessons, some interesting people and a few challenges to keep me honest and test my resolve.
We'll call that... life!

What would I do if it was all smooth sailing?
I'd be bored.

This week was the final installment of our six week Life Renovation Program.
We had some great breakthroughs, some nice feedback (I received a beautiful 9-page letter from an appreciative partner!) and it was fantastic to see people who have been 'stuck' (with habits, thinking, attitudes, disempowering beliefs and behavioural patterns) for years (and years)... starting to see and experience the light at the end of the tunnel.
Real change.
Yay.

People who (for the first time) realised that they can do, be and create amazing when they consistently follow certain change-principles and when they stop sabotaging themselves.
And with that internal shift.. we began to see some real-life change and genuine, measurable, practical results.
That's what I love; physical, tangible, measurable... real results.

I have so much passion for, and belief in, people's ability to change that it frustrates me when I see beautiful, clever, talented people consistently talk and think themselves into mediocrity.
Or less.
Consistently going around in circles.
And I see it daily.

Sometimes I meet people and I honestly think.. "I wish I had your talent... if only you knew what you could do and be."
One of the reasons I'm so passionate about teaching what I believe.. is my lack of ability.
It's because of (not in spite of) my lack of ability that I had to be driven, had to be passionate and had to get uncomfortable on a regular basis.
I don't know everything but I do know how to maximise ability.

While I have some talent, I meet many people who are so much more talented than I'll ever be... but choose (knowingly or not) not to use or develop that talent.

At the completion of our program I gave the participants a handout with, what I believe were, the key messages, principles and ideas to come out of our time together.... knowing that most of you can't attend the six-week program (probably a bit tough geographically)... flying from the States, Canada or the UK every Tuesday might prove to be problematic... and expensive! I thought it might be an idea for me to share my (very abbreviated) synopsis of the program with you.

It's cheaper (free) and you don't have to sit in a classroom with me for six weeks (bonus).

As you read, keep in mind that these summary points were not intended for use in a post (such as this) and therefore do not necessarily flow from one to the next. They were more to be used as prompts and reminders for my students as the program becomes a distant memory.

Some of these will be irrelevant for where you're at (personally), some will be a reminder of something you already know, some will be revision for recent(ish) posts and lessons... and some may be a fresh revelation or insight for you.
Use what's for meaningful for you.
Discard the rest.

Okay, here we go:

Summary Notes Life Renovation Program July, 2007:

1) We are multi-dimensional, complex beings and we need to factor that into every (significant) decision we make. It's (very) possible (likely perhaps) to be successful in one area of our life (finance, career for example) while a complete disaster in another area (health, personal relationships, spiritual life perhaps) so if we're a squillionaire... but we're gonna have a heart attack next Tuesday or we haven't had a meaningful conversation with a loved one since the eighties... perhaps we need to re-assess how and why we do things...and possibly redefine what success is for us.

2) My world will change when I change.
My reality needs to change from the inside-out; not the other way around.
While there are many variables in the process.... I (my choices, my attitudes, my habits, my communication, my ability to adapt) am the Captain of the 'SS Me'.

3) I need to (be able to) separate the emotional from the cerebral.
When I make emotional, reactive decisions.. I typically create bad (or undesired) outcomes. What I feel (the emotional stuff) and what I think or know to be true (the cerebral stuff) don't always align... in fact... often don't align.
Sometimes we need to take a certain course of action, do certain things, make certain decisions (because logic and common sense tell us so) even though the insecure, fearful, self-protecting eight year-old in us is kicking and screaming to the contrary.

4) Our goals, dreams, hopes and values need to be wrapped around a practical life-strategy (plan)... and for many people, they're not. Despite what the LOA might suggest, sitting on the couch waiting for the universe to deliver our desires... doesn't work. Most people don't have a sensible, practical goal setting process; they have a wish-list.
While we all 'get' what goal setting is... most of us don't do it (practically and consistently apply it to our life).

5) It's great to be passionate... it's better to be passionate and practical.
Passion without the practical... leads to frustration.

6) Creating amazing outcomes is not about talent or potential as much as it is about decisions, attitude, commitment, drive and work ethic.
Sometimes.. talent is a handicap.

7) Fear doesn't make us dysfunctional or weird... it makes us human and normal.
In order to create amazing we (occasionally) need to do things, take chances, make decisions, address issues... despite our fear. Sometimes we need to look for the most effective way... not the most comfortable or enjoyable way.

8) Creating amazing is not always quick, easy, painless, simple or convenient.
Despite the what the advertisements say.

9) Dealing with (not avoiding) adversity (problems, challenges, discomfort, pain) is how we develop skills (emotional, social, decision making, practical, coping), gain strength, change our mindset and become more effective and empowered.
Problems, challenges, curve balls... are part of the human experience... not dealing with them is an unrealistic approach to... anything!
So failure, pain and disappointment can actually help us succeed.

10) Hard / difficult is more about attitude than it is about situations, circumstances, events, environment or other people. Many people make the simple hard... every day. Situations and circumstances aren't difficult... (as much as) people are!

11) Every day we have the choice to have a great day despite what happens (or doesn't happen) in that day. A good day is not about fate, destiny, chance or events... it's about us.
You and me.

12) To create different we need to think different.
When we change how we think.. then we react, decide, communicate, cope, interact and manage stress differently.
We also create a different reality.

Different thinking =
Different choices =
Different behaviours =
Different outcomes =

Happy Campers!! (YAY)

13) If we can't define it, we can't have it.
We need to get clear about what we want.
We need to set goals (and have a practical process).
Too many people want success... but don't actually know what it is.

14) We also need to get clear about what we don't want.
Knowing what we don't want helps move us in the right direction... helps create momentum and the right mindset.
Sometimes identifying what we don't want is the catalyst we need.

15) Success is different things for different people... and what will make one person happy might make another person miserable or stressed (a pregnancy.. for example).
The one common denominator is that we all want to be happy... however, the mechanism and / or catalyst for that happiness will vary from person to person.
We need to discover what pushes our happy button.

16) I am not a body; it's just where I live.
As long as our identity is rooted in something which can be taken from us (looks, jobs, money, toys), we'll always be insecure. I am more than my career, my house, my bank balance, my education, my body and my achievements... As long as my self-esteem is dependant on how I look, what I do or what I own... I'm in trouble.
I need to find my identity; who I am beyond what I do, own, drive.. or how pretty/handsome I am.

17) Knowing what to do is not nearly as important as doing what we know.
We live in the information age (we've never been more informed)... but we seem to be as troubled (dysfunctional, obese, unhappy, unfulfilled, confused, broke, addicted) as ever.
We get angry, we get bitter, we make excuses, we wait, we explain, we blame... and we still don't really do anything.
We go to church, the synagogue, school, the library, the Internet, workshops, therapists, life-coaches... we are constantly bombarded with information (much of it great) and still... many of us are exactly where we said we'd never be.

18) "We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are" (Anais Ninn)... and in order for us to be able to communicate and co-exist effectively with others (in all kinds of relationships and situations) we need to be able to see things through others eyes... learn their love language.. understand their communication style. If I consistently use the same communication style with different people, I will consistently create good, bad and indifferent results.

19) My past does not have to equal my future... but for most people it does.
Generally speaking, our beliefs (about what's possible for us in the future) are not remotely reflective of our ability, potential or possible future achievements.
It is not our ability, but our thinking, beliefs and fears... which limit us.

20) To an extent, an individual's overall level of happiness (joy, peace, fulfillment) will be dependant on their ability to adapt. Everything around us is in a constant state of change, while we are (often) in a constant state of same. This can create problems on many levels if we don't adapt, learn, grow and change with our constantly evolving environment.

21) Many of us waste time and emotional energy on things we can't change while ignoring (and doing nothing) about, the stuff we can. We need to identify where and how we do this... and start asking ourselves empowering questions (verses the "why is life so unfair to me" questions)... the "what can I do" questions.

22) I will not accidentally succeed.
Success will not fall on my head from a great height.
Some people spend their life hoping they'll win the lotto... hoping success will happen to them.

23) The number one reason people don't create forever results is... they don't finish what they start. Success ain't about starting, it's about finishing. Results ain't about motivation, it's about perseverance.

24) Motivation is temporary... I need to get the job done despite my motivational peaks and troughs.

25) Situations, circumstances and events don't create stress, I do.
I need a stress management strategy... the time to address my stress level is not after my first breakdown.

26) Even though we don't like feedback, we need it... I can't be completely objective about me (performance, behaviour, decisions, communication).
Critical, informed, intelligent feedback is a gift if we use it properly (doesn't always feel like it at the time).

27) Some of us manage everything... except us.

28) There are different kinds of smart.
Intelligence ain't all about IQ tests... in fact... not at all.
Some 'highly intelligent' people are socially, emotionally and practically stupid.

29) Discipline is not necessarily cool.. or sexy... or marketable.. or popular... but it is effective. The world wants to buy easy but without a certain level of discipline (self-control, inner strength, mental and emotional toughness) creating real change is impossible.

30) Trying to teach someone who doesn't want to learn is an exercise in frustration (for you) and annoyance (for them). Quite often, the well-intended suggestion or spontaneous life-lesson.. will produce more resentment than enlightenment.

31) Who I am (and who I will be) is not predetermined, it is self-determined.

So there you have it; don't ask me why thirty one points... just worked out that way.
Hope a light went on for you.

Enjoy your weekend.

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help

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Thursday, July 5, 2007

Why I Hate the (mainstream) Concept of Destiny

Destiny... people talk about it all the time.

Especially when they're talking about big-picture life stuff.
Or when they're rationalising why something didn't (or won't) eventuate.

"Don't worry love... It's not meant to be."

The term destiny seems to have an almost romantic, mystical, out-of-our-control, feel-good kind of vibe about it ... "that was always going to be her destiny" (as the orchestra starts to fire up in the background).
So it seems that no matter what 'she' did (thoughts, actions, decisions) her life (or part of it at least) was predetermined by destiny; it was always going to unfold in a certain way.
Despite her.

Not because of her.
Apparently some unknown, cosmic force was firmly behind the steering wheel of her life.
She didn't really have to touch the controls because her life path (destiny) was pre-set on auto-pilot.

Am I the only person who considers this to be a load of self-limiting, mumbo-jumbo crap?
Am I missing something obvious?
Let me know if you think I am.

One of the most disempowering notions in the world of human performance / achievement / psychology... (in my opinion) is that of destiny.
Why?
Because it teaches people that life (and what they might do, be and create in that life) is somehow, beyond their control.

Take a look at what popular thinking teaches us about destiny:
(Some dictionary definitions)...

De-sti-ny (noun):
1) The predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.
2) The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one's lot.
3) A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control.

Give me a bucket.
We may as well all sit on the couch and let life happen to us, around us and despite us... because apparently it's all gonna happen anyway.
It's pre-determined.
It's inevitable.

I'm just a passenger on destiny's back.

I wish someone hadda told me this earlier, I wouldn't have wasted so much time making all those decisions, taking all those chances, overcoming all those obstacles, working so hard and busting my ass to create an amazing life.
Apparently I have no control over it anyway.. because my destiny is a "predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control"...
I musta missed that memo.
So not happy.

On a brighter note...

If destiny is what some people claim it to be... then at least I don't have to take responsibility for how my life ends up.. 'cause I don't really have much influence over it anyway.

Hey... that's kinda convenient actually.

Hmm... you know what?... this notion of destiny is starting to appeal to me.
Far less effort. (tick)
Less pressure to do stuff. (tick)
Way less responsibility and accountability. (tick, tick)
Nice.
Comfy. (tick, tick, tick)

And all this time I thought that my life was self-determined not pre-determined.
What a crazy concept.

I thought what happened in my life... was up to me.
That whole.. 'choosing, planning and doing'... thing; a farce!

If only I understood the destiny thing earlier... I would never have started this silly web-site thingy.
What was I thinking!!

Okay, it's settled; destiny it is.

Right... I'm off to lie on the couch and watch TV while my destiny unfolds.
(so excited... can't wait to see what happens)

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help

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Tuesday, July 3, 2007

That's it; I'm DEFINITELY CHANGING (some time soon)

And today, presenting something new on craigharper.com... a short post!
(Nearly killed me).

Some of us are perpetually talking about how our amazing body, career, relationship, bank balance, spiritual awakening and life are all... just around the corner.
It's always gonna be... some time in the near future.

We're always just about to ditch that destructive habit... next Monday (apparently that's the habit-ditching day).
Reinvent ourselves.... very soon.
Yep.

Any moment now.
No, really.
I hate it when you don't believe me!

The truth is we have a gift for deluding ourselves.
A propensity to lie to ourselves and others.
A gift for finding reasons to do nothing.
To wait.
Some more.
We can justify and avoid pretty much anything.
Indefinitely.
(We've been doing it for years).

Some of us are full of crap... and deep down, we know it.
But the good news is... we don't have to be.
We can be different.

Perhaps today will be the day we'll get over our fear, our preciousness, our apathy, our indifference, our laziness and our lame-ass excuses.
Perhaps today we'll make a real decision and take a stand.
Perhaps today we'll get completely real and honest with ourselves.
Perhaps today will be the start of amazing.
Perhaps today we'll make it happen.

Or not.

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help

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Sunday, July 1, 2007

The Law of Distraction

Note: Hey you crazy kids.
Sorry I've been a little scarce lately.
Business is going off like a frog in a sock at the moment (busy) and time in front of the laptop has diminished somewhat recently.
FYI... my commitment is to write somewhere between two and five posts each week... depending on my workload.
We just built a lecture theatre at my Brighton centre over the last few weeks, so we've had tradesman, power tools, paint, plaster and mess abounding but at least now I can run my workshops and programs without people having to sit in the actual gym on bench presses and exercise bikes to listen to me speak!
Sooo excited... so grown up... so many lessons to be taught and learned.

Aah.. the irony of the student who hated the classroom... having his own.

Today I'm stepping out on to the cyber high-wire.
I'm performing a high-risk blogging manoeuvre.
No safety net.
No cyber-harness.

I'm going to write a brief opinion piece on the Law of Attraction (LOA).
Possibly a no-win situation for me.
Aah well.
Advocates (of the concept) will disagree with me.
(I'm okay with that... as long as you're okay with me thinking differently to you).
And opponents are already with me.

I personally think the LOA should be re-named the Law of Distraction (as the title of my post suggests) as it (in my opinion) actually distracts people from change principles which actually work.
(Just lost half my readers).

Firstly, I am not a vocal opponent of the LOA (as such), in that, I have never written or spoken publicly about it.. but I am a seeker of the truth... and it is my belief that it (the LOA) may not be the 'answer' so many believe it to be.

When it comes to creating forever results and believing in something (which we all want), I want proof, I want consistent evidence, I want impartial analysis, I want large-scale, irrefutable results over an extended period of time and I'd prefer someone who's not trying to make money through the peddling of this or that particular philosophy or program (to be the person doing the talking).

So why am I doing this post?
Clearly, I'm a masochist.
Who wants to be popular anyway?
It's overrated.
I sat back for a while (about a year) and observed the fervour surrounding the LOA... and while I get some of the thinking (no, I don't disagree with everything), I have a few issues (no, not those issues... other issues) to discuss, points to make and questions to ask.

So let's put a ripple (or tidal wave) in the personal development pond and see what it's about.

Note (2): Yes, this is an open forum for you to voice your thoughts.. just keep it civil, nice and constructive and we can all explore (debate, argue) together.
Happily.
We don't all have to agree.. (that's the beauty of being a grown-up) we just have to live on the same planet.
And be nice to each other.
Even though... we have different beliefs.
Hmm, maybe we should tell our leaders that?
Wanna join my political party?
Me either.
By the way, I love a healthy, good-spirited debate... but not some inane verbal attack from a bitter, twisted, angry zealot who simply wants to impose his or her opinion on the rest of us.

Which leads me to my next comment....

What I am about to write are my thoughts and opinions only... don't get offended, defensive or angry (well, I'd suggest you don't anyway).
Feel free to agree, disagree or stop reading at any stage...
Sometimes it ain't about right or wrong; it's about what we think, believe and choose.
Let's commence boys and girls....

While there are volumes of information on the LOA, the following is an assortment from a range of sources and seems to be indicative of the general thinking, principles and beliefs... and there's also some thoughts, suggestions and questions from me thrown in (of course).
The stuff in blue (or purple... I'm not sure!) is me.
(Probably woulda figured that out all by yerself).

Some Definitions of the LOA:
(1)People experience the corresponding manifestations of their predominant thoughts.
I think this is a fancy schmancy way of saying "you get what you mostly think about"... gotta make it sound like pseudo-science though. I could give SO many examples of people focusing on (the attainment of) certain things for years.. and never getting them... but do I really need to?
Nup.

(2)People have direct control over reality and their lives through thought alone.
Mmm.. surely at some stage WHAT WE DO is gonna have some impact on our reality?
Thought ALONE... don't think so.
It's an ingredient... but it ain't the whole recipe.

(3) A person's thoughts (conscious and unconscious), emotions, beliefs and actions are said to attract corresponding positive and negative experiences "through the resonance of their energetic vibration."
I'm a scientist (a crap one admittedly), so I've explored this a little... and nobody can tell me how the resonance of an individuals 'energetic vibration' (which apparently occurs when they focus on stuff) can help them lose weight as they sit on the couch, while simultaneously inhaling beer and donuts.
Stupidly, I thought losing weight (for example) may involve getting off the couch and at some stage, expending some energy.
Thought it may have something to do with behaviour not JUST thoughts.

(4) The "law of attraction" states "you get what you think about; your thoughts determine your destiny."
I wonder how the billions of people who live on less than a dollar a day feel about this ideology... no wonder those LOA workshops never took off in the Sudan.
"C'mon you guys over there in that mud hut with no food... your attitude and your thinking is holding you back.... stop limiting yourselves with your crappy mindset!"
"Stop it with those negative thoughts."
If you think I'm being insensitive, how do you think they (people in the Sudan) would feel about someone telling them that their thoughts are responsible for their reality?

LOA Principles:
(1) Know what one wants and ask the universe for it. (The "universe" is mentioned broadly, stating that it can be anything from a god to an unknown source of energy).
Okay... I want to be able to run a hundred metres in nine seconds (a world record)... the fact that I'm fat, slow, forty three and don't train for the event shouldn't be a problem... the only thing which might get in my way is my negative energy... (and I thought it would be my hamstrings).

(2) Feel and behave as if the object of one's desire is on its way.
Hmmm, let's say the object of one's (such a funny word... I sound like the queen) desire is to be a rock star and right now I'm flipping burgers for seven bucks an hour.
(1) As long as I'm working at Big Sam's Diner, I'm never gonna feel like Bono (good in theory, stupid in practice)... but I need to keep working there 'cause right now I'm not a rock star and.. I need the money.
(2) If I walk around behaving like a rock star.. I'm probably gonna get punched in the head by someone who doesn't share my reality.
(3) Perhaps I actually need to get off my ass, practice my music, develop some skills and do some work.
(4) Perhaps I'm never gonna be a rock star 'cause I don't have any musical ability.

Just a thought.

(3) Be open to receiving it.
I'm open to creating it, chasing it, working for it... not so open to sitting on my ass and waiting for it to knock on my front door.... call me old-fashioned.

"Er.. hello Craig, it's the universe here... I'm at the front door with that tropical island and that incredible singing voice you wanted.. let me in..."

(4) Proponents say that by abiding by these, and avoiding "negative" thoughts, the Universe will manifest a person's desires.
My experience tells me that (by and large) the only person/thing that will create forever positive change in my life is ME... yes, thinking plays a role but typically it's more about my actions, my life choices, my ability to persevere and deal with discomfort, my ability to adapt and... my drive to create something from nothing.

Some quotes from LOA websites:
(1) "The Law of Attraction is fun to learn and use because you are always watching, waiting expectantly for your desires to manifest. You can deliberately use this law to create your future!"
Part of the appeal (in my opinion) of the LOA is the whole notion of how easy and fun the process is.
Who wants to buy hard work, self-control and discipline when the universe can manifest your desires while you pull your nose hairs?
Easy (fun, quick, painless, convenient) is what people wanna buy.
Don't believe me?... look at how weight-loss and fitness products are marketed.
Look at how money making schemes are sold.
I don't like waiting for things to manifest.. I like creating.

(2) "You get what you put your energy and focus on, whether wanted or unwanted."
I know plenty of people who have focused on finding Mr or Mrs right for years... if only they'd lose fifty pounds, get a job, change their crappy attitude, use a mouth wash and stop whining.
But what do I know?

(3) "A major factor behind this universal law is the energy and vibrations of our emotions and feelings. Any thought you may have, when combined with emotion, vibrates out from you to the universe and will attract back what you want. You can leave all the details to the universe. Let the universe figure out the method of delivery, when you will receive it, etc. Now all you have to do is Allow It."
Crap.
Sorry.. couldn't help myself.
(I'd been so grown-up too).

In the last month I've (did I mention I'm back in black now... hey, isn't that a song?) spoken to a bunch of people who tell me they have no plan and no idea how they will achieve their goals... but know they will (achieve their goals) because "their thoughts alone will attract whatever it is they desire"... they just need to put "that energy" out there at "it (their desired outcomes) will come to them".
When I ask them for more of an explanation, one of three things happen:

(1) They say they don't know how it will happen and they don't need to... just need to allow it.

(2 ) They get very defensive.

(3) They get aggressive, grumpy or critical of non-supporters.

So... like many Personal Development philosophies or ideologies, I guess the underlying motivation for any individual to embrace the LOA is to create positive change in an area or areas of their life (I think both sides of the fence will agree with this).
We all have this in common; the desire to create positive change... to have more... whatever 'more' is for us (peace, fun, love, money, power, recognition, happiness... and so on).

I guess it's a matter of us finding what really works.
For us.
I know what works for me and the people I work with... but that's my truth.

Okay, now it's your turn:
Let us know your thoughts and where you're from.

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help

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