This site is the website of motivational speaker Craig Harper. A constantly updated, one-stop information, inspiration, education and motivation station. Unlike many similar sites, it is a totally free resource for anyone who is serious about moving from mediocre to amazing in any area of their personal or professional life. With hundreds of articles covering a wide range of subject matter, great interviews with cool people and inspirational video posts, there's more than enough brain-food to keep you busy for hours. Okay, days!! Enjoy.
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Fattitude
- Craig Harper
While many books focus on food,
Craig teaches that creating life-long change is more about the
dieter, than the actual diet. This book is perfect for people who have a
history of 'almost' getting in shape.
DVD
or CD - Renovate Your Body In this entertaining presentation, Craig discusses the
notion of Renovating Your Body - once and for all. Many of us have a curious
ability to be able to get in shape for events (weddings, parties, reunions
and birthdays), if only we'd get in shape for life.
Craig Harper is Australia's leading
motivational speaker
and educator (according to Google Australia). He is a highly
sought-after corporate coach and is considered to be
a leader and pioneer in the areas of personal and
professional development.
Working with hundreds of
teams, companies and a wide variety of organisations
on numerous continents over the last twenty years
has given Craig a unique insight into, and
understanding of, human performance and all its
variables. Craig has an ability to educate, inspire,
challenge and make people laugh all at the same
time!
Last year I had a phone call from a guy that I had gone school with but had not seen for twenty plus years. He had heard me on the radio and decided to make contact.
As he talked I struggled to recall exactly who he was. Don't you hate that when someone talks to you like they're a long lost buddy and your like.. "who the hell are you?"
Anyway, he kept chatting and it eventually dawned on me who he was. We hadn't been best friends but we were in the same year and hung out occasionally. I remembered him as being a creative, dreamer with an amazing imagination who could draw beautifully and write incredible stories. A good guy. Kinda cool.
He was always talking about all the amazing 'stuff' he was going to do when he left school and all his grand plans to write and illustrate his own series of books. In class he would write and draw his own comic books and us kids would sit around and read them while we were meant to be doing something far more academic.
Compared to me, he was kind of eccentric but I always marvelled at his great ideas and plans, and the clarity he had about his future. While I was struggling to lose my fat identity he was dreaming his dreams and preparing himself for the opportunity to turn his passion into a business, or at the very least, a career. I remember him winning awards at school for his art and our English teacher encouraging him to study literature at university.
We spoke for only a minute or two on the phone and arranged to meet for a coffee and chat the next day.
As I was driving to meet with him I wondered what the seventeen year-old optimistic dreamer with the long bohemian hair looked like a quarter of a century later. I wondered if I'd recognise him. The first thing I noticed as he walked towards me in the cafe was his lack of hair. His head, once home to a long, flowing mane now resembled a barren wasteland.
I must of been staring because his first line was, "not what it used to be, is it?"
"Er, no...aah, er... you look great."
'Gee that was smooth', I thought.
I lied; he looked tired, old and totally un-inspired. Different.
He sat down and we started to chat. I was excited to learn about the books he'd written and his career as an artist and writer. It didn't occur to me that he could have done anything else.
"So, how many books have you written?" (he laughs). "Let's see, including my most recent one....none!" "Really?" "Yep."
I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to offend him.
"Wow, if there's one person that I was sure I knew where they'd end up, it was you."
For about half an hour we had some incidental, almost-meaningless dialogue but the seventeen year-old dreamer with a sparkle in his eyes, excitement in his voice, dreams in his mind and hope in his heart, had well and truly gone.
I felt sad for him. He was so talented. What a waste.
"Where's the seventeen year-old creative dreamer gone", I asked him. "He got his dreams and creativity beaten out of him by life." "They got replaced by reality."
While he wasn't really bitter, he was 'defeated'. His dreams and plans were ancient history to him. It was like the years had sucked the creativity energy out of him.
"So why don't you write your book?" "I'm forty-two." "So?"
"Man, I have three kids, I sell cars and I own less than half of my house."
"Don't tell me about your life situation, tell me about what's in your heart?"
"Waddya mean?"
"If your life situation was different, would you like to write?"
"Of course."
"So write... even though it's not different - yet."
"Who for?"
"Initially, for you."
"And then hopefully, for everyone else."
I told him that I write professionally. He was shocked. "Really." "Yep, and I have less talent than you!"
I had an idea.
"Why don't you start writing your book, I'll read your drafts, give you some feedback and when you're done, if you and I think it's good enough...I'll do my best to get you a meeting with a publisher."
"Really?" "Yep."
Sixty minutes after we met, we stood to our feet to say goodbye. He gave me a hug that lasted just a little too long and I detected a glimmer of hope.
Excitement maybe.
The seventeen year-old creative was coming back to life. The dreamer was waking up.
One week later I received an email with a thirty thousand word document attached; the first three chapters of his book.
It was good. Real good.
I rang him. He was a different person. "You were right Craig; I needed to write for me." "I feel amazing."
That was six months ago. The car salesman has now finished the fifth (and almost final) draft of his first fantasy novel. It's nearly 200,000 words!
The dreamer is dreaming again and hope has returned.
Were you ever involved in a treasure hunt when you were a kid? When I was eight I was a highly skilled hunter of treasure. So much good stuff to find ...and so little time. I was particularly good when there was food to be found.
There's a shock.
I remember the feeling of excitement in my stomach as the other kids and I would listen to the instructions and hints from some silly grown-up.
I remember standing there looking at the yard thinking, "I can't see any treasure at all."
Guess that's why we had to hunt for it.
When I stood back and looked... it just seemed like any yard. But when I got off my butt and started to search for treasure, it was there.
Lucky for me someone pointed out that there was treasure to befound.
The obvious metaphor out of this story is that our life is that yard.
Why is it that we spend so much time looking over our neighbour's fence when our own yard is full of amazing stuff. It's just that we never look for it. We take it for granted. We don't appreciate it. We always want more when we don't appreciate the plenty that we already have.
It's great to have goals and it's smart to have a plan for our future. And us P.D. types are always talking about creating our best life. Which is good. As a rule.
But one of the dangers of being totally focused on what we can be and do.. is that we run the risk of missing out on the joy of what we have in our life right now. Unless you're the exception to the rule, then right now there are many 'gifts' in your life (friends, family, health, nature) that you don't enjoy... the way you could. Right now... you're missing out.
Sometimes we're so all-about tomorrow that we're never really enjoy today. The now (where we live).
If there's a potential down-side to personal development I think it's the fact that we can become so driven, so all-about-what-we-can-become, that (1) we can annoy the crap out of everyone in our life who isn't on the same page as us (2) we lose sight of, and appreciation for, what we do have right now and (3) we are in danger of losing perspective on what's really important and what our values (what's important to us) really are.
Have you ever met anyone who is so focused on their future .... or so angry, bitter or resentful about their past that they never seem to enjoy their... now?
They don't seem to have that ability which allows them to savour what they have at this point in time. And the irony is that so many people who don't enjoy or appreciate what they have, or where they are, are the first ones to desperately want it all back when it's taken from them.
I have a friend who lives in the States. We see each other every year or two and email once a month. We have known each other for twenty years or so and for the whole time that I've known her she has constantly bitched about her mum (mom) and pointed out to me her many faults and shortcomings. Why and how her mum has made her life a challenge (misery).
I got an email from her just before Christmas.
Sadly, her mum had just passed away unexpectedly. I have spoken to her by phone three times since. She is devastated.
What does she want? Her mum back. Who does she desperately miss? Her mum. What does she regret? Not appreciating her mum and acknowledging the good stuff. What would she do to have one more day with her mum? Anything.
All of a sudden she's beginning to understand that, although her mum wasn't perfect... she was actually a normal, loving, caring mum who did the best that she could with what she had and what she knew.
Her mum was a gift.
If only she bothered to look for the treasure in her own back yard.
Why don't you do a treasure hunt on your own life right now and rejoice in what you have... and stop looking over that fence for a minute.
Why don't you tell one of your treasures why you love them and how much you appreciate and need them. Humble yourself. Swallow your pride. Put your ego aside and stop waiting. Do something amazing. Do something that's not comfortable... but is right.
I've made a decision to not only create a great future... but to love the now.
Life is a great teacher. If we let it be. When we open our eyes, hearts and minds to the world of possibility... then we start to see some amazing stuff happen. And we all want amazing.
Remember? We've chatted about this. Don't make me go through it again. Good.
Put up yer hand if you want mediocre. See. No-one.
Amazing it is.
When we walk around with our eyes closed, our fingers in our ears and minds switched off to the possibility of 'new' or 'different' or 'uncomfortable'... then we're destined for a lifetime with little fulfillment, enjoyment, fun, challenge or personal growth.
A lifetime of 'same'. Mediocre. Blah.
A lifetime in that safe, little (boring) box.
We say we want to grow... but we avoid situations which will cause us to grow. We know that discomfort causes us to adapt, change, learn and improve.... yet we desperately seek comfort at every opportunity.
We don't look for the most effective option... we look for the easiest option.
I'm always amazed at what I can learn when I approach every day with the mindset of a student. Rather than saying, "why is this happening to me".... I will ask "what can I learn from this experience, situation, circumstance."
I know the above statement is stereo-typical Personal Development dialogue (and I do my best to avoid it).... but it's also true. It actually works. When we do it.
The other day I was in my office (at the gym), which is strategically located in the quietest corner of the centre. I was sitting at my computer doing my best to be creative and inspirational with an article I was writing, when my tranquility was shattered and my 'zone' was invaded.
So there I was; Mr Adaptable, Mr Personal Development, Mr Student-of-Life down-loading some wisdom(!) on the keyboard when all of a sudden I hear, what sounds like, fifteen screaming kids on the other side of my door. Having the amazing self-control and focus that I do... I decide to ignore the noise (it is a gym after all) and continue to write.
That lasts twenty seconds.
I stand up, walk to the door, I'm about to open it.. and the noise subsides. Finally. Peace. Aaaah.
For eight seconds. They start again. I tell myself to get over it.
I can't.
Pick the man who has no kids. Pick the man who needs a life-lesson.
I stand up. I've worked myself into a state. "Have those parents no control of those kids", I ask myself. "Are they deaf?" "What's wrong with them?" "How can people be inconsiderate?"
I'm grumpy.
I fling open my office door and to my amazement there aren't fifteen kids and accompanying parents... there are two kids and two mums. And they're not on the other side of my door, they're twenty feet away. The kids, who were clearly having more fun than my grumpiness could handle were chasing each around their mum's legs. And the mums, who were way to calm and relaxed for such a stressful situation, seemed to be discussing what school their older kids were attending.
Could they not hear the noise? Did they not sense the mayhem, stress and anxiety they were creating.
So there I was; the grumpy business owner doing my best to rationalise my grumpiness at some kids having fun and a couple of mums chatting.
Tool.
The only stress and anxiety was what I had created.
Stress isn't about situations; it's about us in the situation.
I had made myself stressed. I had responded badly. I had created a problem. Where there was none.
Gotta love that whole learning thing don't ya?
Lesson for the day: It's not what happens that matters, it's how we react (to what happens) that matters.
How do you react?
Let me know what life has taught you lately.
(Let us know where you're from).
P.S. I will let you know who has won a shirt from our "Teach the Teacher Day" in the next few days.
When I was a young buck I was obsessed with bodybuilding. And my body.
As most of you know I went through the fat kid phase until I was fourteen, then the how-far-can-I-run-every-day phase, for a few years and then when I was seventeen I began a love affair with barbells and bench presses which lasted for years.
Sometimes my heart still skips a beat when I walk near the squat rack.
By the time I was eighteen I had stopped playing competitive sport and had totally immersed myself into the world of bodybuilding. I walked, talked, lived, ate and trained like a bodybuilder. All I wanted to do was look like a freak; a cartoon character. The bigger, the better. Veins like garden hoses, delts (shoulders) like bowling balls, massive guns (arms), freaky wheels (legs), ridiculous abs and less body-fat than Brad Pitt in Fight Club.
Giddyup.
I had zero balance, a warped perspective and strange priorities. Some people who are smarter than me would say that I was trying to compensate physically for what I lacked emotionally and psychologically.
As a kid I would dream of having a physique like a Super Hero (as most boys do). I figured that if I was built like Superman then chicks would dig me, guys would be in awe of me, I'd be incredibly popular, life would be great and of course, I would have no problems.
Okay, so I didn't totally think the plan through. Gimme a break; I was a dumb kid. It all made sense in my head.... at the time.
Anyway, one day I woke up, I was twenty one years-old, a 105 kgs (230lbs), less than ten percent body-fat, eating seven times a day, training twice a day, six days a week and I looked like a freak. The fat kid had been replaced by a large, muscular, lean..... insecure, dysfunctional, obsessed adult.
Bugger. So much for the plan.
The amazing thing was that all of my 'issues' were still there. Even with my huge biceps. I learned that I couldn't fix my emotional problems with a physical solution. With my new found muscle and dimensions came a whole new batch of problems.
"What if I lose muscle and size?" Some bodybuilders suffer from what I call, Bigorrexia; the opposite of anorexia... they stress if they lose size or weight.
"What if I get injured and can't train?" If I had to miss a workout through injury, I would get anxious.
"What if I can't get to the gym?" I would never travel unless I knew I would be able to access a gym.
Cleverly, (!) I created a whole new list of things to worry and stress about.
It was partly out of my bodybuilding journey and subsequent realisations that I came to explore self-improvement on a level beyond that of my biceps and pecs (thank goodness). I realised that it didn't really matter what things looked like on the outside if internally I was dying.
And I was.
Not literally, but emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. The image I tried so hard to portray was so the opposite of what I was actually feeling on the inside. A scared, unsure, insecure ten year-old trapped in this great big, mans body.
I didn't intend to be shallow or one-dimensional... but that's where I was heading.
Somewhere, somehow I had 'learned' (and we all know about those destructive beliefs) that if I had an amazing body.... everything would be great. As a teenager I would devour muscle mags and they had 'taught' me that success was all about how I looked.
So now we fast-forward to 2007 and I have to admit that I occasionally feel conflicted about owning a business which deals primarily with the physical. The irony is that I spend far more time talking to people about their mental, emotional and spiritual well-being than I do about their biceps, body-fat or carb intake. As an Exercise Scientist I spend so much time not talking about exercise.
Breast implants, collagen injections, liposuction, hair transplants, face-lifts, electrolysis, nose jobs, appetite suppressants, diuretics, steroids.... you name it, there's not much I haven't seen people do to 'improve' themselves.
A few years ago I worked with a lady who had spent (the best part of) $100,000 on cosmetic 'enhancements'. Pick a body part... it had been modified or tweaked. Over the course of ten years she had turned her body from 100% natural into.. "hey, let's see if we can find an original part!"
If only she had invested the same time and energy working on the internal stuff.
She was one unhappy, miserable puppy.
Unfortunately there seemed to be an inverse correlation between the volume of surgery she had and her level of happiness, joy and fulfilment. The more she changed the outside, the more miserable and desperate she got on the inside.
I don't think it's necessarily a conscious thought process, but I do know that many people feel that if only they can live there, earn more, own one of those, weigh less or look like that (all external stuff) ... then most of their (internal) problems will disappear.
If you asked them they'd deny it... but look at how they live. Look at the choices they make. Look at how they prioritise things. Look where they invest their time and energy.
We all talk about how we want peace, balance, harmony, happiness and contentment.... but the truth is some of us live a life which is at odds with our (alleged) values. Remember 93% of communication is non-verbal... if you want to know what someone really thinks or believes, don't listen to them... watch what they do.
What they do will tell you much more about them than what they say.
I have a friend who has had four serious long-term relationships. I love her but I gotta say, she's got issues. A bunch. She knows it. Every time she has problems in a relationship she breaks up with the guy and leaves the country! Invariably she goes overseas and it's usually within days of breaking up with Mr. Right Now (as she calls them). Instead of dealing with the internal stuff (fears, insecurities) she changes her external situation (leaves the country) so she doesn't have to deal with things. Then she sneaks back into the country a month later, meets another guy... and the cycle continues. Sometimes a change of scenery is handy... sometimes it's simply a way of avoiding things we should deal with. Because she doesn't want to deal with her issues (primarily fear-based stuff), she continues to have the same problems with different men. Next bloke she dates I'm going to give him a warning card.
* Remember real personal growth always works from the inside out.... not the other way around. Change you first...and then your situations, circumstances, finances, careers and relationships will change for the better.
Always.
Drop me a line and let me know your thoughts. (And where you're from).
*These are not 'illustrations'; they are true stories.
Story One. When I was a fat fourteen year-old I believed I could never be an athlete. I believed nobody would ever want me on their team. I believed I was a 'Jumbo' (because that's what I was called - even by teachers). I believed I was an under- achiever. I believed I was less than average. I believed all these things because this is what my world had taught me.
I had those beliefs because that's what my conversations, observations and life-experiences had taught me.
Story Two. I have a friend who, until recently, had strong opinions about a certain group of people (a religious group). On several occasions I had heard him be openly critical and insulting. Apart from his dislike for these people, he is kind of decent, considerate and fun to be around. About six months ago I was with him and he launched into one of his insulting monologues. "Okay, what specifically about their religion, their beliefs, their principles and their culture do you find so repugnant," I asked. "Wadd'ya mean?" "I mean, do you even know what their beliefs are? Have you ever explored their religion?" I sat him down and I explained the religion to him and he realised:
1) he was actually ignorant and discriminatory 2) he shared some common beliefs and values with the people he was criticising 3) his beliefs, thoughts and ideas were based on mis-information
Where did those beliefs come from?
His ignorant father.
Who had kindly programmed his kids to be just like him. A bigot.
Story Three I have another (life-long) friend. She is an incredible singer. Better than most professionals I've ever heard. Really. She would love to be a professional singer but apparently, she's no good. Just ask her. For her entire life her parents have told her that she's a deluded dreamer and that she should focus on a sensible career with a large, credible organisation. Preferably a bank; like dad. She just turned thirty. Without any doubt, she has the talent to be a professional musician. The only problem is she doesn't believe it. Her parents have taught her she can't do it. She sells insurance.
Story four. One of my trainers is an elite track and field athlete. Very Elite. She is in the top two in Australia for her sport. She has represented her country at the Commonwealth games and will more than likely be picked in the Olympic team next year. She is strong, powerful, highly skilled, amazingly athletic and it's incredible to watch her competing. She's a great girl. No ego.
She thinks she's crap.
What holds her back is not her ability (which is considerable) but her beliefs about her ability. She thinks she's not good enough. She has amazing talent, a freaky body and no belief in herself. Sad.
Did you know that much of our 'learning' is unconscious and that many of our beliefs limit us rather than empower us? Most of our learning comes from outside of the classroom..... and often not from good places or experiences. We have an amazing ability to take on criticism and negativity (emotionally and psychologically)and an even more amazing ability to deflect praise and approval.
"I don't believe you; you're just saying that to be nice"
Whether or not we succeed often has little to do with talent, situations, circumstances or opportunities and plenty to do with our beliefs. Beliefs about what we can or can't do. Beliefs about what we do or don't deserve. Beliefs about how others see us. Beliefs about our ability. Beliefs about relationships. Beliefs about other people.
We are constantly receiving, processing and interpreting information (without even thinking about it). From a young age our world is teaching us, about us.
Not pretty enough, smart enough, fast enough, academic enough, cool enough, talented enough.....
If you are totally committed to creating your best life (whatever that is for you) then now might be a great time to question some of those deep, deep, deep down beliefs you've been hanging on to for way too long. Maybe you weren't even aware... but without knowing it, you have been your biggest obstacle to success.
Find a quiet place and ask yourself a few questions. 1) What do I believe? 2) Why do I believe those things? 3) Where do my beliefs come from? 4) Do my beliefs empower me or handicap me?
And ask those questions in relation to the following:
Relationships
Family
Friends
Career
Health
Your body
Your future
Your potential
Money
Spiritual beliefs
Whatever is important to you
We handicap ourselves if we're not regularly re-assessing all, or some, of our beliefs. Don't believe something just because your dad did. Maybe your dad was wrong! Too many people struggle through life, crippled by their destructive beliefs. Self-imposed (totally unnecessary) limitations.
Believe something because you've explored it, thought about it, experienced it and know it to be true. Not because someone told you it was so. Ask questions. Seek truth. Real truth; not their version of the truth. Listen to lots of people, believe some (you'll know who). Discover for yourself what you believe, who you are, what you can do, be. Don't let anyone or anything tell you what's possible for you (or not).
Trust me, they (usually) don't know. But don't believe me, find out for yourself.
What we believe determines who we become. What do you believe? And who will you become?
*Before we get started..... I was hesitant to write this article the way I have because I know that some people may mis-interpret my intentions ... so I will clarify them before we begin so there is no mis-understanding. My reason for writing about parts of my professional journey is notto impress you, but to impress upon you how possible it is for us to create 'amazing' if we consider, apply and embrace certain principles. I don't think that I'm amazing and I don't consider myself to be particularly gifted but I do know that if I'm prepared to deal with some regular discomfort (hurdles, speed humps, setbacks, problems, challenges.....failures) then I drastically increase my chances of succeeding. I know the more prepared I am to make mistakes, fall over, look silly....fail, the more likely I am to create long term success IF I learn from my mistakes and adapt, grow and change.
By the way, failure is merely a label people give certain events. I personally don't use the term, but I will for the purpose of this conversation.
When I set up my first commercial business I was twenty six. I had no real idea was I was doing. I thought I did but looking back... I didn't. I knew I wanted to set up a commercial Personal Training centre. There were none in Australia, so I had no blue-print to follow, no mentors to rely on and a whole bunch of people who (thoughtfully) informed me that the concept wouldn't work in this country.
In my mind I had a picture of what I wanted to create... (the end result).
It was just all the in-between steps that I was a little grey on. A lot grey on.
I had no idea about commercial leasing or how to communicate with, or negotiate with, real estate people. No experience running a business. No experience employing or managing staff. Limited leadership experience. No experience dealing with, or negotiating with, equipment suppliers. No idea about business plans. No marketing skills and no idea what 'branding' was. No profile. No tertiary qualification.
In my first year of business I asked some questions which were so stupid (to the person I was asking) that they thought I was joking. I was absolutely serious. I didn't know the most fundamental things because I had never been taught. I was a bodybuilder who had worked in gyms. My life (essentially) revolved around lifting heavy things, eating too much chicken, chasing girls and training my clients. Simple. Enjoyable. But not great training for the would-be entrepreneur. And not a great long-term success strategy.
When I was looking for premises for my first centre, the real-estate guy asked me what type of lease I wanted (as in the duration of the lease and options following the initial term) for the building I was about to sign up for. I had no idea what he was talking about.
Here's the conversation: "So what type of lease are you after?" "What kind are there?" (He laughs at me). "You're kidding, right?" "Nup." "Oh." (Embarrassment).
It's fair to say that I was humiliated, discouraged, criticised, ripped off, lied to and embarrassed many (I mean many) times in the first five years of owning and operating my own business. More things didn't work, than did.
In a similar position, I believe that many people would have said "I gave it my best shot... it didn't work (I failed)." I was either too stubborn, too driven or too stupid to throw in the towel. I knew that because I wasn't especially gifted or talented it was always going to come down to my perseverance, attitude and ability to finish things.
(The No.1 reason people don't succeed, no matter what the endeavour, is their inability to finish what they start).
In the first five years I had many lessons on what not to do in establishing, developing and maintaining a business (or any worthwhile project). Every day was a lesson in perseverance, adaptation (thinking on my feet) and humility (acknowledging my numerous shortcomings).
Here's a brief snapshot of some of my journey over the last decade (or so!). Again, not to impress you but to encourage you that when we apply some basic principles, even people with average skills, talent, knowledge and potential can create amazing.
Writing Then: Initially told myself I didn't have the talent and that no-one would want to read what I wrote. Wrote for quite a few obscure magazines and newspapers. Wrote a lot and got paid nothing.
Now: Write every issue for several national magazines (one of which has a circulation of 200,000). Wrote for a major newspaper for three years. Had two books commercially published and self-published two more. Have had hundreds of articles published. I get paid well to write.
Media Then: Worked in community radio for 3 years for free. Did my first radio interview in 1990. Developed skills, asked lots of questions, studied the pro's. Hosted my first show on commercial radio in 2004 (at forty) - I was crap. I slowly got better. Worked on community TV in Melbourne doing a show called 'Muscle TV' (embarrassing I know).
Now: Work regularly on three commercial radio stations. Do about five to ten hours of live radio per week. One of the stations has an average listening audience of 80,000 (compared to 8 on community radio!). Work regularly on national television (Network TEN). The TV show I work on (9AM) has an average viewing audience of about 400,000. Still learning, still asking questions. Regularly do media interviews to comment as an industry 'expert'. Still make mistakes. Still developing skills. Still cringe when I see myself on TV.
Public speaking Then: Did my first public speaking gig in 1987 to twelve employees at a timber yard. I was twenty four years old. I spoke for fifty minutes on health, fitness and attitude. I sucked. A lot. I got paid fifty dollars. They got ripped off. I prepared for the talk for two weeks (at least thirty hours of preparation). I was so nervous before the talk I had to take my shirt off in the bathroom and dry it under the hand dryer. Subsequently did many average talks (100's) for very little money. Now: I have spoken in six countries. I do over 100 speaking engagements per year. I am managed by one of the largest speaking agencies in Australia; ICMI. I get paid more than fifty dollars. My audiences are larger than twelve. I don't suck as much.
My business Then: One employee... me; janitor, book keeper, trainer, maintenance man, boy Friday. Lots of hurdles. Constant learning. Annual turn-over: not much
Now: Constant learning. Forty-five Trainers. Five administrative staff. Full time PA (Kim). Full time tech guy (Johnnie). Over 1,600 sessions of Personal Training per week. Have employed over 300 people since 1990. Just opened a new gym (Gecko Kids Fitness). Still making mistakes. Annual turnover: More.
Academia Then: Majored in sandpit at school. Focused on sport and girls. Studied a total of two hours in 13 years. Was an academic dud.
Now: Went back to college as a mature-age student. Qualified as an Exercise Scientist. University Lecturer. Have taught in five Universities. Call myself a 'pracademic'.
Notable failures, stuff ups. Solarium centre (it was the 90's) - lost a bunch of money. Beauty Therapy Centre (stop laughing) - made no money... maybe lost a bit. Another PT centre (I was a partner but didn't run it)... lost money. Countless ideas and projects which didn't get off the ground... or did and fell over. Called a well-known identity the wrong name... on air! Was talking to three hundred people in a seminar, lost my train of thought, forgot what I was saying. Oops. And way too many more to mention in a little post like this!
And now.... Every day I get up and I know that life is a gift and I have the opportunity to do something.... or nothing. I am passionate and driven because I choose to be. I know that some people will connect with my ideas and message and I know that some people will criticise my philosophies and my approach. I'm okay with both. I will continue to say what I believe even if it's not popular and even if it doesn't 'sell'. I will not compromise my message for votes. I will continue to learn, and continue to do what I do. I will stay humble, I will be thankful for what I have, I will do my best to keep perspective and I will stay committed to helping you create your best life, even though I am flawed, even though I don't have all the answers and even though I fail regularly.
But now I (we) understand that failure is a crucial ingredient in the Personal Development journey. Show me a person who's never failed and I'll show you a person who's never done anything.
* When (if) you leave a comment let us know where you're from.... ( )
Hi Guys.. Saturday Morning here in Melbourne and a massive day of business and radio commitments for me... So today there will be no inspiration from from my keyboard but I will be back on deck tomorrow sharing the love and hopefully challenging you, inspiring you and making you uncomfortable enough to create your best life...
So here's my Idea. Why don't you guys write something inspirational, motivational, educational, philosophical, insightful or reflective so you can inspire and teach each other (and me). I'm not the only one worth listening to (some would argue I'm never worth listening to) and there are no rules here at RYL so we can do what we want.
So today, you guys are the teachers. You can do the work. I've put in plenty of effort for you... now it's your turn Giddyup.
Guidelines 1. Write about whatever you like. 2. Keep it under three hundred words (can be twenty words if you like). 3. No profanity 4. No 'selling' of products
Suggestions 1. Don't worry about what people think (get over yourself) ... allow yourself to be creative. 2. Have some fun with it. 3. Be honest... usually makes the best reading. 4. Write from the heart not the head.
What's in it for you? 1. An opportunity to share your ideas with others (thousands). 2. A chance for you to get uncomfortable, grow and learn. 3. I will read and respond to every 'post'. 4. A craigharper.com Shirt for the posts which push my buttons the most.
Okay? Easy.
Simply click on the comments link at the bottom of this and start writing. See you tomorrow.
Have you ever noticed how some people have an amazing ability to find reasons for not actually doing anything; taking risks, getting uncomfortable, making tough decisions, being pro-active, being responsible for the state of their life, relationships, body, finances.
Not you or I of course... but perhaps someone you know.
I'm too old. I'm too fat. I'm not the academic one. I'm not the athletic one. I'm not smart enough. I have a terrible memory. I don't know anything about business. I'm not the writer, he's the writer. My sister's the one with the great genetics. And so on...
We... err sorry, they, pigeon-hole themselves into personal-growth paralysis.
"I would love to have my own blog site... but I can't write.... and anyway, who would want to read what I have to say; I'm boring...I don't have a qualification in anything..... and I tried something similar once before.... but my brother; he's a genius... you should listen to him!"
They spend their life justifying and rationalising their psychological, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial and professional stagnation.
Sometimes they even get angry at the world. Or God.
'Cause that's gonna help.
Sometimes they really work at it and get bitter, grumpy and resentful because apparently, life dealt them some crap cards. Years blend into one another and while they are unhappy with much of their life, they don't actually do anything to change it.
Year after year, their life wreaks of sameness. Because they constantly focus on what they can't do (or think they can't do).
They are forever having the same conversations about the same issues.... but don't do anything. They tell themselves (and anyone stupid enough to listen) how disadvantaged they are, so then they don't actually have to get off their arse and change their situation or circumstance because obviously.... it's all beyond their control.
Sure it is Pinocchio. Boo Hoo.
One of my favourites is when people decide that they're too old for pretty much everything.
Their body is not the problem; their thinking is. Age is more about attitude, beliefs and choices than it is about physiology, or years on the planet. I've met so many people who have successfully turned themselves into 'old people' in a matter of months. It's quite the skill. They think old, talk old, act old, live old... and then become old.
So many obese people have remained obese because apparently it's genetic! "Mum's big, my sisters are all big and my dad's huge."
"Err, perhaps you all eat too much!"
"I bet if I took your family for a six month holiday at camp Craig and I controlled your food, your activity level and your exercise regime... there would be no fat family." But, you keep telling yourself it's all about your DNA, then you won't have to take responsibility for your crappy eating, your unhealthy lifestyle happy, the gallon of coke per day or your 300lb body.
I apologise if I sound harsh but if you listened to the verbal crap that I listen to on a daily basis... you'd be blunt as well.
So, let's:
Stop finding reasons to fail! Stop finding reasons to do nothing. Focus on what we can change... Can do. Can control.
Can you change your attitude? Yes. Can you eat less? Yes. (I didn't ask, is it easy?) Can you make different choices today? Yes. Can you surprise yourself and others today? If you choose to. Can you work around your hurdles, obstacles and challenges? Yes. Can you communicate differently from now? Yes. Can you work on your weaknesses while maximising your strengths? Yes. Can you learn new things at any age? Yes. Can you create genuine, forever, inside-out change starting today? If you choose to. Can you change destructive habits today? Yep...will it be easy.. probably not - do you want it enough? You tell me. Can you make a decision now, right now in that chair which will change your life forever. Yep.
If you choose to.
Life's about choices. Choices shape lives. People make choices. Or not.
Do you want an amazing life? Do you want to be an amazing person? Do you want to have amazing experiences. Then do an amazing thing. Get uncomfortable. Now. Even though it's not practical, convenient or comfortable... make that decision. Don't just talk about it, read about it and think about it. Do it.
Some of you are feeling uncomfortable now. You know why? Because you know what you need to change... and you know it won't be easy at times. Do it anyway. Surprise yourself. Be different. Be courageous. I dare you.
You know that every successful endeavour starts with an idea and a decision. You know that (for many of us) the right time never comes...
So why don't you, right here and now, address that thing... and make that decision. And if you feel compelled, share it with us; it might help you create some momentum... (hey, at least you'll have a few thousand of us to keep you honest.... and we're on your team).
Go Team!!!
PS. You probably don't need to know this but in Melbourne right now it's reaaaally hot, so I just blogged in my undies (err...if you know what I mean). It's kinda liberating. Give it a go.
Don't forget to tell us where you're from....when you comment.
So Monday just past (Jan. 15) we opened our new gym for kids; one of the first kid-specific training centres in Australia. School-age kids; 5 - 17 years. Loud music, designer-graffiti on the walls, funky equipment and kids everywhere. Very cool.
If I was ten, I'd never leave there.
A few months ago I made a decision which was great for my business, shocking for my self-esteem.... I took on a business partner (for the kids gym) who is twenty five, 6'4", buffed, alarmingly good looking, charismatic and annoyingly decent and likeable. Kids love him, Mothers love him, dads want to be him. I want to be him.
I have become the invisible man. Pathetic. Embarrassing. The mums (moms) step over me to get to Sam. I think I need blond tips. Maybe an earring. And a Porsche.
Lucky I've got you guys to prop me up emotionally. Otherwise I'd be gone.
Today I was speaking with a lady who had come into the new centre to enquire about our programs. I was half way through a sentence when it became apparent that ....she wasn't even paying attention. I wondered what the attraction was over my left shoulder. Who else?
"Is he one of the Trainers." "Er, Yeh." "Mmm, I might book myself in."
Of course.
Sorry, I digress.
Waddya (Australian for what do you) mean... "where's the personal development stuff?"
Alright, well I did re-learn a few things in the last few days... here they are.
1.Kids are better than us at having fun. Why is it that so many of us highly evolved, highly intelligent and incredibly complex 'grown-ups' seem to lose some really valuable skills as we age... having fun for instance.
"Mmm, sorry my schedule's pretty tight this week, I could possibly fit in some fun at say, 12.30 next Tuesday..... but I've only got ten minutes." "Any good?" "If you're really desperate, I could squeeze in some mild amusement early Monday for say, eight minutes, I just had a cancellation - get back to me."
Kids love to laugh and they do plenty of it. And they laugh at stupid stuff. A lot. Don't they know it's stupid?
It's a good thing us older, wiser types are around to let them know when and how to have fun.
If kids want to have fun, they'll always make it happen. They can be in the most boring, mundane environment or situation and they'll find a way to have fun. If only us boring, serious old farts could do the same.
2. Kids are creative. They invent stuff.... And when they invent their stupid games, with their stupid, pretend dragons (or fairies.. or cyborgs)... all the other kids totally buy into it. What's that about.. don't they know how silly they look? They run around being pretend villains and heroes, making their own sound effects and having the most fun ever, ever, ever.
What a pity so many of us let that creative, 'kid' part of ourselves die a slow death. When kids are playing, creating and inventing new games, they don't care what they look like... or what people think of their game, their outfit, or their weird sound effects.
So there I am in the new gym being all cerebral and clever and analysing the business model, the administrative system and layout of the centre ... and these little tackers are running between my legs, laughing, screaming and just having way more fun than they should be. It's just not right.
Don't they know how bleak things are at the moment? Have they not turned on the TV? Do they have no social conscience? Have they not seen the price of oil.. the stats on obesity.... and poverty...and crime. How dare they have so much fun when there's so much to worry about.
After all, us grown ups are much smarter and wiser.... and look how stressed and miserable we all are (present company excepted).
3. Kids take chances and show initiative. I was in the new gym today being the very responsible, mature, 43 year-old business owner, deep in thought when this little voice says, "do you wanna play a game of around-the-key with me?" I looked down and there's a nine year old who clearly doesn't realise that I am far too important and busy to play basketball with him.
"No Champ, I'm kinda busy" (said the big, stupid, insensitive, boofhead). "Oh c'mon, it'll be fun."
How can you argue with that?
"Oh c'mon, it'll be fun!!".... I thought once I said no, that would be it.
Apparently not.
All of a sudden Mr 'Answers'... had none.
"Okay, five minutes but that's it."
Forty five minutes later..... I was a ball of sweat, I had just had my arse kicked by nine-year old with way too much talent for his own good and I couldn't remember the last time I had some much genuine fun.
4. Kids have less issues than grown-ups. I was watching some of the little kids playing together before their class started. Most of them didn't know each other; it didn't matter. They were running around in circles doing....I'm not exactly sure what, but apparently it was a bunch of fun.
Anyway, one little boy fell over (not badly) and started to cry. I was just about to be the hero when a little girl (about six) comes over, helps him up, gives him a hug and tells him he'll be okay. The little boy stops crying, dusts himself off and keeps going. And I'm thinking.... if grown-up girls did that, I might be clumsier.
What have the kids in your world taught you?
* When you leave a comment, let me know where you're from... thanks.
I don't know if I have a definitive answer to this one but I thought that it might be an interesting topic to explore... so let's explore.
I'm gonna throw my bit in and then you guys are gonna head down to the comments link at the bottom of this post, tell me what you think and why, and then hopefully, we'll have a whole bunch of different opinions ...and some fun. An argument perhaps!
Gotta love a little spirited debate.
We'll see if we can come up with some sort of group consensus on the issue.
If you're like me, you went to school with a super good looking, super talented, super athletic, super academic, super popular guy/girl who finished school and went on to do...... nothing much.
What's the deal with that?
All that talent and ..... donuts. Nothin'. What a waste.
Have you ever been to a school reunion? They're a whole bunch of fun... And how interesting it is to fast-forward 10, 15, 20 years and to see what became of the geek, the hottie, the jock, the in crowd and the socially invisible?
When I was at school, I was kind of average (in many ways). In fact, average was my ambition.
I was the kid picked last for every sporting team. Couldn't run to save myself, but could swim okay because I was incredibly buoyant. Kind of like a cork with hair on top.
Being fat certainly helps when you're bobbing up and down in the water. It's a pity all the school sports days weren't based in water...I could have been a champion.
Or not.
In a weird kind of way, I'm glad I was so mediocre because very early on (when I was about fourteen) I gained clarity, perspective and certainty about what I didn't want for my life. I didn't want to be fat. Or ridiculed. Or picked on. Or last. Or mediocre.
So when I was fourteen and weighing 90 kilograms (198lbs) I decided that I would change my body. One day, I just got to that point and from that moment on, there was never any doubt that it would happen (you know that old pleasure and pain thing). I lost 30 kilograms (66lbs) in five months and went through not only a huge physical change, but a complete emotional and psychological metamorphosis as well.
It was about then that I realised that, what I would become (and achieve) in my life had little to do with talent or potential, and plenty to do with attitude, commitment and effort.
Without being too melodramatic, the pain of (some of) my childhood experiences actually helped me create the momentum, the right attitude and the necessary determination and focus to be able to begin to create real (forever) change.
Being called Jumbo for ten years also helped.
Over the years I have found that when I'm struggling to gain clarity about my future and my goals, I start by identifying what I don't want.... and that helps me get clarity about what I do want.
So, I guess for me, not being gifted was an advantage. It gave me the desire to create an amazing life.
And while I've worked with many talented people who have achieved great things, I've also coached many gifted individuals (especially athletes) who simply haven't had the drive, the attitude or the work ethic to maximise their gifts. I sometimes think that being told by everybody how amazing they were and how incredible they would be when they grew up, was actually a disadvantage. It gave them a reason not to strive or sacrifice... because apparently it was all going to magically fall in their lap.
So I guess my opinion is that for some, being gifted is a gift, and for others it's a handicap. I guess it depends what we do, or don't do, with that talent.
Perhaps you have an opinion or a story. Let us know what you think.
I don't think this is one of those "who's right or wrong" discussions... but then maybe I'm wrong! If you've never commented ... now's your chance.
* By the way, when you leave a comment, if you could let me know what country and state you're from that would be great..... I'm interested. Thanks.
Have you ever noticed how some people, who clearly have enough of their own flaws, faults and issues (as we all do), seem compelled to constantly find fault in others?
And they're not critical in a "hey, I want to help you and here's some thoughtful feedback" kind of way. No, it's more of a "I'm an insecure tool who tries to make himself feel (or look) better by being critical of others" kind of thing.
One of the challenges of being a personal development writer and speaker is that some people (erroneously) assume that I must have it all together (which I clearly don't; just ask my friends)... or that I think I have it all together (which I know I don't). But you know what?... I'm okay with being a work in progress. In fact, I kinda dig it. I love the learning thing. It's fun.
By the way, we're all works in progress.
One of the reasons I get so excited about learning and growing is because I know how much I don't know... and for that reason, I'm passionate about, and committed to, my life-long personal development journey (be that physical, emotional, spiritual and / or intellectual). If I waited until I 'had it all figured out' before I started to write, teach, mentor, coach or try and help people, I would never do anything.
Okay, maybe I'd watch Oprah and eat.
I'm not interested in pointing out (perceived) flaws in others when I clearly have more than enough work of my own to do.
I recently wrote an honest account of my experience meeting an incredible woman named Lee which generated some positive feedback. In writing the post my sole intention was to inspire and challenge, and to tell a story; that's it. Interestingly, someone wrote a comment on another web-site (where the post was also displayed) saying that the piece was an attempt at blatant self-promotion... and if you (the reader) care to view the post, I think you'll find the only person being promoted (for her amazing attitude and achievements) was Lee.
Now, I'm okay with criticism (I get plenty) and I'm not precious about people having opinions about me or my work (good or bad)... in fact, I'm kind of grateful to my critic because it was the catalyst for this post... but I always wonder with criticism.. what's the point?
Does it fix anything? Does it (typically) create positive outcomes? And if we are all about positive change and self-improvement (as I'm guessing most of us are, that's why we visit this site!), why do we get into it?
Let's make 2007 the year where you (and I) don't criticise anyone.
So to all my would-be future critics, feel free to provide constructive, helpful, thoughtful feedback (be it positive or negative) and I will not only consider it, but I will act upon it if I feel it's warranted and I'll be appreciative of your input.
However, if all you want to do is be a negative, condescending, opinionated, critic then perhaps you should start working on yourself before you try and ridicule others publicly... 'cause I'm not interested in your negative, bitchy, thoughts.
Take your crappy energy somewhere else.
The determinant between constructive feedback (which is what we all need) and pointless criticism (which is what nobody needs) is the motivation behind it.
Are they A. Genuinely interested in helping you? B. All about making themselves look good and you look stupid?
It's pretty easier to figure out.
Sometimes I wonder if people who constantly criticise have any self-awareness. Do they not get that being a (typically) critical person ain't a great character trait? Being overtly and consistently critical of others will (over time) be more detrimental for the critic than it will the recipient/s.
You know what is a great character trait? Humility.
Give that a try... it tends to work better.
I'm not sure what it's like in other parts of the world, but in Australia our politicians have a propensity to do anything and everything to publicly humiliate, embarrass and criticise their political opponents. I'm no political analyst but as a bloke who votes, I care about what type of person the politician is (crazy I know) and when I see him or her up there doing their best to publicly destroy someone else, I lose respect for them.. not for the person they're attacking.
So next time you feel compelled to take aim at someone, maybe hold that thought and ask yourself what you need to change about yourself first.. or if you do decide to proceed, analyse your motives carefully, and honestly consider what you will achieve through your criticism.
Here's what the good book says about being critical of others:
Matthew 5:7 Be sure to take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to take the splinter out of your brother's eye.
And to my critic who thinks I'm a blatant self-promoter, here, have a cyber-hug ( ) and good luck with your blog.
Most people areeither mathematics types or literature types but it's not often that you meet someone who enjoys both. In the world of Academia I am something of an oddity; I love both.
So you can imagine my geeky excitement when I discovered that there is a drama (Numbers) on television in which all kinds of major crimes are solved by a mathematics professor and his trusty calculator. Forget guns, fast cars and testosterone; these bad guys are being brought undone by algorithms and algebra. Gotta love that.
So I got to wondering about what would happen if we de-emotionalised the personal development process and approached the success journey from a strictly numerical and mathematical perspective. Would we be more likely to achieve our goals if we measured, quantified and analysed (at least some of) our life, and explored some of our typical habits and behavioural patterns (I love patterns) statistically and mathematically?
It could be interesting, and if nothing else it gives me a (semi) legitimate way to weave some maths into my blog!
Here a few random (but interesting) equations to consider as we continue down the road of creating the 'best us' we can.
1. In most western countries (Australia, US, Canada, England, etc.) the average 'active' health club membership is 15%. This means that 85 out of every 100 paid-up members are not currently usingthe facilitiesat all. The truth is that club owners know that they can sell memberships to way more people than the centre can accommodate because they know that (many) people will make the decision (to join), hand over their money, come a few times and never return. Club owners know that people will make decisions about their health, their body and their exercise regime that they will never follow through on; in fact in a way, they rely on it. Some people fork over a hundred bucks a month on direct debit for years for memberships they never use. That's some good maths for the club owner right there; a lazy hundred per month for jam, nada, donuts, zippo. Here's an equation:
Q. If 100 people join a gym for a year and they each go three times in that year what is the outcome? A. A whole bunch of fat, unfit people and a gym owner with a house on the beach.
2. If you expend five hundred calories per day more than you consume, you'll lose about one pound of body-fat per week. Conversely if you consume 3,500 calories per week over what you need, you'll gain an extra pound of lard for your troubles. Remember, if you put more calories in you than you need, the only thing you body can do is store that additional energy on your butt.. or legs... or tummy ...or wherever your body pleases! Keeping in mind that fat is stored energy (calories). Forget the diet books, the weight loss pills and the hypnotherapy, simply get your maths right and you'll be leaner and lighter in no time. People make weight loss harder than it needs to be. If you can add, subtract, multiply, divide and read nutritional information labels... you can lose weight. *Note: People with endocrine problems or other significant medical issues may be the exception.
3. The average Australian watches about twenty hours of television per week (the figure is similar in the States, Britain, Canada, etc.). The number one excuse most people make for not doing 'stuff' (exercising, studying, reading, anything on their to-do list) is... they don't have the time. The truth is we don't make the time. It ain't about time; it's about us. Imagine if we reduced our TV time by fifty percent (or.. gasp....one hundred percent) and invested that time into activities and behaviours which were consistent with our values and personal development goals. Perhaps we'd be less frustrated, more fulfilled, happier, healthier and more pleasant to be around!
4. Still on the time thing... research tells us that as little as four, thirty minute exercise sessions per week can create significant physiological change; won't get you in the Olympic team but will make you healthier, leaner, lighter and stronger. When we convert those four, thirty minute sessions into a percentage of our total time in a week (168 hours) it comes out at 1.19%.... Mmmm... maybe getting in shape is not a time issue after all.
5. If you count to fifty (slowly and silently) before you react badly, lose your temper or crack the sads... you're much less likely to do stuff you'll regret... and much more likely to create positive outcomes.
6. If you increase the speed of your daily one hour walk from 2.5mph (4.02kph) to 4mph (6.44kph) you will expend an extra 54,750 calories per year without even increasing your exercise time. That extra calorie expenditure equates to an additional fat loss of 15.6lbs. Cool. *Note: the figures will vary slightly depending on your weight, the walking surface and the gradient but.... you get what I'm saying.
7. If we all made one significant change-our-life-for-the-better decision per week, some of us would make 52 decisions more than we did last year. We'd also be 216% happier. I made that last figure up.
8. If some of us talked fifty percent less and listened fifty percent more, there's a fair chance our relationships (professional and personal) would be one hundred percent healthier and more rewarding.
I do lots of writing, not just for my blog but also for books, magazines and preparing for my seminars and workshops. The truth is sometimes it's hard to be creative, inspirational, insightful and original. There's so much amazing information, inspiration and education flying around in all sorts of forms that occasionally, it's a real challenge to write something that I'm genuinely happy with... especially when I'm on a dead-line. For my magazine articles I have mandatory deadlines; when the work absolutely has to be emailed to my editors. And for my blog, I have self-imposed dead-lines.
Because my life is crazy (fun but crazy), I usually don't start writing my blog until about 10pm. That's after the phones have (nearly) stopped, the doors on my business have closed, dinner's been had and I've done some reading. Sometimes I sit down at my computer and the only thing floating around my tired little brain is a request from my body for sleep. Deadlines can stifle that creative flow. Tiredness can too. And so can stress.
Today is not such a day. Today I had an appointment with one of the most inspirational people I've ever met. And I've met plenty. Today inspiration walked through my door and I instantly knew what I would write about tonight.
Before Christmas I received a phone call from a woman who saw me on 9AM (a TV show I do some stuff on). She explained to me that she has significant health issues (the understatement of the century) and that nobody was prepared to help her with an exercise program because she was too high-risk.
She sounded interesting and we made a time (today) when we would meet.
In a thousand words (or less) I can't do justice to Lee's story but in brief, I have never met a person who has gone through so much emotional, psychological and physical pain for such an extended period of time and who has come out the other side with an attitude which is almost impossible to comprehend.
Her life and her life-experiences are so dramatic, so extreme and so profound that I sat listening to her with tears in my eyes (and we all know what an Alpha-Male I am!). I have encouraged her to write a book to share her story. Apart from the fact that she has had six different types of cancer and been told numerous times she has three months to live, she has also had chronic back pain for years, had one of her children die and has experienced more abuse and personal trauma through a range of almost unbelievable situations and circumstances than ten people should ever have to endure in a lifetime.
It's amazing how some people can teach you a lot about yourself and your life without even talking about you or knowing anything (specific) about you.
This is what Lee taught me without even knowing it:
1. Attitude is a choice.... always.
2. We all make things harder than they need to be.
3. Human beings are incredibly capable, resilient and strong when they have to be.
4. We major on minors.... a lot.
5. When we have to survive, we'll find a way. When we have no choice, we just get it done... we don't think, rationalise, complain or procrastinate because we don't have the time. We just do.
6. Being told you have three months to live is a quick way to discover what your real values and priorities are.... (pity some people have to get sick before they start putting things into perspective).
7. Sometimes it's good to laugh, even when there's no reason to do so. Sometimes it's good not to complain, even when there is a reason to do so.
8. Sometimes, the only person you can rely on is you.
9. 'Experts' don't always know. Sometimes the human spirit is more relevant than 'test results'.
10. If you have the best attitude in the worst situation, you have a chance. If you have the worst attitude in the best situation, you're doomed.
I've gotta say, I have one of the coolest jobs on earth; every morning I get up and I'm excited about what the day will bring. I love what I do and over the years I have met some incredibly successful, gifted and talented people. I have worked with Olympians, celebrities, business moguls and professional sporting clubs... but I've never met anyone who has inspired me so profoundly or who has taught me so much, in so little time, without even knowing it. Lee came to me for insight and direction but I was the student. There's some irony.
When I first met her I couldn't but help comment on a significant tattoo on her upper arm and some pink streaks through her blonde hair; not what I expected from the frail(!) articulate, cancer patient I had spoken with on the phone.
"What's with the tattoo and the rock star hair", I asked. "I got the tattoo last year." "I told everyone, I might be dying but I don't want to look like I am." "I didn't have a picture of all of my kids together (remembering that one had passed away), so I got Shorty (the tattoo guy) to put them all on my arm so they're always with me."
"Works for me, Lee."
With her permission, I will share Lee's story in more detail in the near future; it is truly incredible.
* Note: This post is a bit of fun with a (not very) subtle message woven through it. It's not intended to be a serious piece of journalism, it's no personal development gem and it's certainly no scientific review of the art of blogging. I absolutely acknowledge that I am a novice blogger... but even novices can make observations and have opinions. For my non-Australian friends it's probably pertinent for me to share with you that many Aussies are given to frequent bouts of tongue-in-cheek communication. This article is what we would colloquially call, a piss take.
So I've been living in the blogosphere pretty solidly for a few months now; clearly still a novice with much to learn but... I keep coming across this statistic: "there are 55 million blog sites". Now admittedly I've only reviewed 54 million of them but I think after much exploration and quality research, I've un-earthed many of the secrets of creating a truly crap site.
You don't get this type of quality information every day so you best print it out, highlight the numerous good bits and put it on the fridge (where all valuable information is kept). Even if you're not a blogger at the moment, file this in your really-important-stuff file because when you decide to develop your own crap blog, this will give the edge; a running start. An unfair advantage. Call it an ergogenic (performance enhancing) post.
Here we go; pens at the ready.
Step One Always use numerical titles for your posts like:
"Ten steps to......." "The top seven reasons for...." "Eight reasons to ....." "100 ways to...."
Titles like this show the reader that 1) you know lots of stuff (very important) and 2) you can count (never trust people who can't count).
Step Two Avoid original content and thought, at all costs. If you do have an original idea for your blog... ignore it. Regularly steal from others, change a few words and call it your own. See what most other bloggers are doing.... and do that. Why be an innovator when you can be an imitator?
Step Three Call your blog something weird, ambiguous, mysterious and kind of ... stupid. Creepy even. That way readers will be so distracted and confused by your ridiculous blog name that they won't notice the crap content on your site.
Step Four. Definitely don't have a point of difference for your site. Do your best to make it indistinguishable from all the other crap. If possible, make it look and sound like all the others. Step Five Take no risks. Be safe. Don't have an opinion. Don't get off the fence and definitely don't hurt anyone's feelings. Don't be controversial and absolutely don't disagree with any of the experts. Rather than write about what you passionately believe in, compromise your standards and values regularly and write about anything that people will read.
Step Six Do your best to find an obscure, niche market and create a blog for it. If it can be in some little-known language; even better.
Step Seven Write on things that you really don't know about, understand or have any experience in. For example, if you've never run a successful business, then you would naturally have a blog called something like "Business Success with Jimmy". Don't let the fact that you have no practical experience or real understanding of the subject matter hold you back. That whole 'successful track record' thing is so over-rated.
Step Eight Have heaps of ridiculous crap on your site. Not only heaps of crap posts but also millions of ads, weird little things that walk across your screen, flashing stuff, noises, and heaps of you-tube videos which take four hours to down-load and buffer (whatever that means). You should have so much crap on your site (especially your home page) that people struggle to find your daily post. If they find it within five minutes, you're not trying hard enough.
Step Nine 1) Don't have an about section.... or if you do 2) Be as vague and evasive as possible.
People love the whole mystery thing. Readers don't really want to connect with the blog author. Obscurity is cool. If you do feel compelled to write about yourself, lie and exaggerate.
Step Ten Write really short, infrequent posts (preferably less than fifty words) and talk about nothing in particular. If you post every day people will think your boring and predictable. Also, talk about your cat or dog using that special name you have for them; if you can weave the name 'Pooky' into your post, you'll definite get extra points on the Crap-O-Meter.
Good luck.
* 'Personal Development Craig' will be back tomorrow.
"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."
At the outset I'm going to assume two things about you (yes I know the dangers of assumptions... call me crazy).
Assumption one: Over the last ........ mths/yrs (you fill in the number) you've discovered some amazing truths about yourself, life, the world, God, finances, people, happiness, peace, relationships, love (and so on).
Assumption two: At times (possibly often) you've been frustrated by the people in your world (friends, family) who don't share your ideas, thoughts, beliefs, vision or enthusiasm. In short; they don't really get what you get. And you get frustrated because you know you can help them, if only they will listen. After all, your motives are good. What's their problem? Why are they so determined to stay in their mediocrity?
A short story. Like most people over the Christmas period, I had to attend my fair share of social functions and being the non-drinking, non-smoking, low-fat, excitement-machine that I am, I invariably found myself trapped in some corner of a room, locked in a deep and meaningful dialogue with someone I didn't really know, would never see again, who had thrown down one too many drinks and was standing six inches closer than is socially acceptable (on the Craig personal space meter).
Several times I considered abandoning all of my principles and getting really drunk and standing by the barbeque eating fatty, salty, charred animal flesh with my socially-inappropriate drunk buddies talking crap and telling bad jokes... they seemed to be having so much fun (I know there's a lesson in there somewhere).
I nearly did it.. but I knew you wouldn't respect me any more, so I refrained.
Although I do have a propensity to talk (being an extroverted, attention-seeking, only child and all), one of my favourite things to do when I'm around groups of people is to .... listen and watch; amazingly, be quiet.
One of the most interesting studies in communication is to observe someone trying to talk to someone who isn't really listening, and who really has no interest in what is being said.
Invariably the talker will start to increase the volume (and spit frequency). If that doesn't create the desired response, he or she will move closer. When that fails they will start with the pointing finger (one of my favourite bits). What then often follows is either yelling, swearing, insults, occasional violence or any combination thereof (gets no better).
Why is it that (some) people feel so compelled to 'evangelise' people who don't want to be converted? Do they not have the capacity to read the incredibly obvious non-verbal communication which is screaming "I'm not interested in what you have to say or your stupid philosophy."
An interesting study in behavioural science is to stand back and watch various social situations and see how many people don't actually listen to each other in conversation; they merely wait for a gap in the dialogue to get their point across.
Lesson one: The best communicators.... don't necessarily talk a lot.
Lesson two: People will learn when they are ready. Lesson three: Don't try and teach someone who doesn't want (or isn't ready) to learn; you'll probably do more harm than good. Lesson four: Don't confuse 'being articulate' with being a 'good communicator'... 93% of communication is non-verbal. If you want to connect with people talk less, watch and listen more.
Another story. A friend of mine has gone through a massive journey of self-discovery and personal growth over the last twelve months. Her life, relationships, attitudes, career and beliefs have all changed drastically. In many ways she is a completely different person; happy, fulfilled, excited and loving life. The only down side to her new-found reality is that she doesn't 'get' people who don't get her perspective (or even want to listen to what she has to say). Kind of like the reformed smoker who becomes a judgemental, opinionated pain in the arse, she has had to learn that not everyone is where she's at (practically, emotionally, psychologically).
Lesson five: by trying to convert or convince people who don't want to hear your message, you are more likely to create a negative outcome, than you are, a positive one (and annoy the crap out of them). Many relationships have been destroyed by well-intending friends or family who have had some life-changing experience or revelation and think everyone in their world needs what they have.
The last story. My mother smokes. There I said it. I really hope she doesn't read this because she'll be grumpy at me for a day or three. I love my mum (mom for my US friends) and because I love her, I don't want her to smoke. Simple. But you know what? My mum doesn't want a 'lesson' on smoking from me. When we head down that path... it only ends in tears. Mine. No joy for the big fella at all.
Lesson six: Mothers can be scary. And gorgeous.
Lesson seven: Trying to teach people who; 1. don't want to be taught or 2. don't want to be taught by you... will invariably create resentment.
The following post is kind of long, so you may want to get yourself a cup of tea (coffee, hot chocolate) and kick back. I have taken a couple of words here and there from some of my previous scribblings so if you sense that deja vu feeling, you probably don't need your pills after all. The good news is that your memory is working. Nice to know.
The first bit. One day in the mid eighties, possibly a Tuesday, I was manning, or should I say 'personing' the gym floor (must be PC), picking up stray dumbbells, mingling with the club members, dispensing incredible advice (as always) and generally being fabulous, when a familiar figure loomed large in the doorway of the weight room. For the sake of my story and his anonymity, we'll call him 'Ted'.
Ted was not unlike many people that I've met over the years; he would re-appear at the gym about every six months with a steely, new resolve to create 'Super Ted'; a new leaner, meaner version of himself. He would tell me that he hated his body, needed to drop fifty kilos (110 lbs)and that "this time it would be different." Stupidly, I would believe him. Call me young, naive, gullible, call it what you will, but every time, I was sure the big fella would get the job done; he seemed so sincere and desperate. If you had seen his big dopey, chubby face and those big, puppy dog eyes you'd have believed him too. How could I not have faith in him?
With an over-riding sense of familiarity, I would take Ted's measurements, talk to him about his crappy diet and diabolical lifestyle (again), set some (more)goals (because that's what you do) and write him a new program (again).
For about two weeks the big guy was a cross between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sugar Ray Leonard (it was the eighties), lifting, riding, punching and sweating his way to a better body. Then somewhere between weeks three and four his amazing commitment and Olympic attitude would start to wane and the inevitable slide would commence. By weeks five and six the daily visits turned into weekly cameos, and by the two month mark, Ted was lucky to make a fortnightly appearance. When I called him to see where he was, he would inform me that he was still pumped and totally in the zone but that "work was crazy, his ankle was playing up and that he'd been carrying a sore throat for a week or so." Sure Big Ted.
The Revelation. After yet another of Ted's failed weight-loss campaigns I was feeling a little inadequate and frustrated. I got off the phone after chatting with him and sat there trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. I was setting him good programs, giving him appropriate advice, providing him with all the resources he needed to exercise effectively and being as encouraging, understanding and supportive as a twenty two year-old alpha-male, meat-head could be... and then it dawned on me:
I could tell people what to do (how to exercise and eat),why they should do it (the physiological benefits) and how it should be done (the method) but I couldn't actually make anyone do it.
Maybe it wasn't about finding the right program or diet; maybe it was about finding the right attitude. The right head-space.
Having a personally designed exercise program is handy. Being a member of a health club is .. nice. Having resources at your finger tips might help. Knowing what to do is always a good start. But the truth is many of us have all the reasons in the world to change our body, life and reality but never do. We are consistently almost getting in shape. For a range of reasons we spend our life getting on and off the weight-loss merry-go-round, wasting time, starting, stopping, procrastinating, lying about our behaviours, making excuses, waiting for the right time to start (which never comes), getting frustrated, complaining about our genetics and generally being miserable.
Standing there on the gym floor it began to dawn on me that creating physiological change (getting bigger, smaller, faster, fitter, lighter, leaner) is more about our head than it is about our body. More about his 'readiness' to genuinely change than my programs. For the first time I began to really understand that the weight-loss process isn't as much about dumbbells, treadmills and carbs as it is about attitude, thinking, beliefs, passion, self-control, decisions, standards and habits.
Getting in shape is more of an internal process than it is an external one. When we get the internal stuff right... the external change is merely a (positive) by-product.
Why then (I hear you ask) do most health fitness, health and medical professionals focus solely on the practical, external stuff (lift this, stretch that, run there, eat these, don't eat those) when obviously creating 'forever change' (what most people want) is largely about controlling and managing our thoughts, feelings and emotions? Good question Grasshopper. Let me know when you get the answer.
So while conventional thinking tells us that losing weight is essentially a physical process, my experience with thousands of people over way too many years tells me that losing the love handles is more about our head than it is about our body.
If only our obesity problems could be fixed by merely providing people with information and direction. If it were that easy then we'd see almost zero fat people because we live in a society which is bombarded with exercise and dietary information from a range of sources on a daily basis; we live in the information age. Years ago I learned that telling people what to do and how to do it was the easy bit but getting them to actually do it (consistently) was the real challenge. What shape we are in (whether we're fit or fat) invariably comes down to two key things; 1.The decisions we make and 2.The things we do (and don't do). When we look at what influences those two things the most, our head (thinking, beliefs, standards, fears, expectations, desires), then we begin to understand that getting in shape is, without doubt, more about our mind than it is about our muscles.
Take your head where it needs to go and your body will follow.
I've never met anyone who has created 'forever' change (in any area of their life) who hasn't had a significant shift in thinking, attitude and perspective.
These days my team of trainers complete around 75,000 personal training sessions per year. Since the eighties I have personally conducted over 40,000 sessions with thousands of people with all types of bodies and all types of goals. When it comes to the pursuit of health, fitness, weight-loss, physical perfection (doesn't exist), big biceps, flat tummies and long-lean-legs... there's not a lot I haven't seen or heard.
So here's my take on how the get the most out of your head... in order to get the most out of your body.
1. Go into the process with the best possible attitude. There is an undeniable relationship between attitude and outcome. Many people don't want to hear that transforming their body is more about attitude, commitment and self control than it is about finding the right program, health club, diet, trainer or miracle-pill. Good attitude typically equals a good outcome. I have watched thousands of people sabotage themselves with a crappy attitude; they whinge, complain, blame, rationalise, justify, and procrastinate and then end up back where they started anyway (or worse). Conversely, I have watched thousands of people with limited genetic potential, time, money and resources create (and maintain) amazing results because they got their head where it needed to be. If you tell yourself getting in shape will be a painful, un-enjoyable process... it probably will be.
Amazing results are about attitude and effort; not genetics.
2. Get in shape for life; not an event. Too many people spend their life getting in shape for summer, birthdays, weddings, school reunions and other significant social occasions. Like athletes, they peak for an event... and then get fat again. Sad really. Creating (and maintaining) your best body is about the next few decades, not the next few weeks.
3. Make some tough decisions about you. Your lifestyle, your habits, your diet and your exercise habits. You know these decisions; the one's you keep avoiding, the one's that make you uncomfortable. The decisions you should have made a long time ago; the scary, but necessary ones.
4. Don't start something that you can't or won't finish. Every day around the world thousands of people start programs or routines which they will never maintain. They make decisions that they don't follow through on. They join health clubs but rarely go. They start running programs that last a week. They go on diets and then go off them. Some people spend their life getting on and off the weight-loss-merry-go-round. Don't be one of them. Start realistically and progress sensibly. Don't try and undo twenty years of bad behaviour by next Tuesday.
5. Procrastination. Stop waiting for the right time to get in shape; it never comes. "I'll start next Monday, next week, next month, when the kids are at school, when it's not so dark in the morning, when all the planets align, when Tasmania (remember I'm an Aussie) reconnects with the mainland. Sure you will. The only person you're deluding is yourself.
6. Don't make excuses or tell fibs!
If you want to find a reason not to change, you'll find one.
Many people lie to themselves and others constantly; "it's not my diet, it's my genetics, it's a time thing, a money thing, my sore ankle". They don't want to acknowledge that it's a them thing because if they did, then they would have to do something about it. I regularly talk to morbidly obese people who apparently 'eat hardly anything'.
Liar, liar pants on fire.
7.Don't lay blame. I'll be brief. People make people fat - not junk food, soft drinks in schools, drive-thru restaurants, remote controls, lack of time, business lunches or clever marketing. Yes, there are many variables, hurdles and factors to be negotiated along the way, but unless someone's making all your decisions for you, or holding you down and force feeding you, the only person making you fat is you.
Don't get precious on me now.
8. Stop looking for the magic pill. For most of us, the simple reality of getting-in-shape is a bit of sweat, a bit of discomfort, a bit of tiredness, a bit of inconvenience and the odd sore knee. The sooner we get that and accept it, the sooner we'll get where we want to go. Look for the most effective option not the easiest one. By the way, easy or hard is largely about perception and attitude.
9. Nothing tastes as good as being in shape feels. Focus on what you're gaining, not what you're missing out on. Many people who change their eating habits sabotage themselves by constantly focusing on 'how deprived' they are and all the 'good stuff' they're missing out on. That piece of chocolate or slice of cake might give you a few minutes of pleasure but it doesn't change the fact that you live in a fatter-than-desirable body 24/7.
10. Motivation is temporary. For most people motivation is an emotional state; a feeling that comes and goes. We can't rely on it to get us to our destination because it ain't always there! If you experience motivational peaks and troughs, you're not a loser; you're normal. Motivation is great when it's there but when you don't feel pumped to do that workout, do it anyway. Changing your body is more about self control and consistency than it is about being in the zone. It's possible (necessary sometimes) to exercise even when you're not motivated. I tell people "if you don't feel like training, do it anyway. You might not love the process but you'll love the results". If we only exercise when we 'feel' like it, we'll never be consistent and we'll never create life-long change.
Warning: Okay, so this is another high-risk article. Some of you will connect with it and have a moment, some of you will think I'm an opinionated, insensitive pig and some of you will already be on the same page. Proceed with care.
If, like me, you have a propensity to spend inordinate amounts of time navigating your way around some of the squillions of personal development / motivational / inspirational / be-your-very-best-in-next-to-no-time sites, then you've probably found a massive amount of repetition, fluff, feel-good, mumbo-jumbo crap and the occasional valuable article.
I am of the opinion (and yes, I know it's not a popular one) that success isn't as hard, or as complex as some people make it. And before you write to disagree with me, yes, I acknowledge that the above statement is dependant on your definition of success... but I am speaking generally (as I often need to, when speaking to an audience of more than one).
I have spoken with many people who have beenon the personal development journey for years..... and they're still in the same place (physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, financially and professionally). They've read eight million books, been to thirteen thousand workshops, therapists and specialists, and they're still miserable, unfulfilled, stressed and directionless. Still complaining, rationalising, justifying, excusing, blaming, procrastinating... and waiting. If they put one tenth of what they've read or heard into practice... things would be drastically different but the truth is, theyconsistently do nothing.
While I acknowledge (and know from experience) that there are many variables, factors and considerations to negotiate when we set out to create specific outcomes, I also believe that there exists a scientific, practical formula for success if only we can step out of our emotional, psychological and behavioural limitations.
As you may or may not know, I am a scientist by qualification (not a very good one), and in science we usually look at results (collected data) and do our best to discover what produced those observed outcomes. In other words; reasons for things being as they are.
So for the purpose of this chat (okay, it's a one-way chat) let's call success the 'result', and let's explore what the common denominators are; the reasons for things (typically) being as they are. For the sake of pseudo-scientific accuracy and validity, we'll do our best to de-emotionalise the process and take a practical, analytical glimpse at what consistently produces optimal results in the big wide world of Personal Growth.
Who succeeds and why.
We've already established (in previous posts) that we all want to be successful and we've also discovered that success is represented by different things for different people. No brainer; easy. What might be cause for celebration, jubilation and overwhelming joy for one person, may produce a response of panic, stress and unhappiness for someone else; a pregnancy, for example.
In my post, the success myth I discussed the common denominator on the personal growth journey being that we all want to be happy. How we get 'there' will vary greatly depending on our standards, values, beliefs, knowledge, attitude, resources, drive and life-situation. And where, and what, happy is.
When it comes to creating positive change (which is what we're all about - that's why you're reading this) there are (in my opinion) certain non-negotiables. When we stand back and look objectively at a collective of (what would generally be regarded as) successful people,we discover that there are certain traits, qualities and characteristics which are universal across the group; irrespective of their particular area of endeavour.
Of course this is not really a research article (in the strict sense) but it is based on many years of working with, and observing, a range of people, teams, corporations and organisations all trying to achieve a broad range of positive outcomes.
So, this is what 'science' has taught me about successful people.
1. Consistency. They have an ability to finish what they start. When most people throw in the towel, these guys persevere. Whether it's convenient, practical, fun, easy, hard or popular, they get the job done. The number one reason people fail is they don't finish what they start (health club owners are safe in the knowledge that most people will join their centre and rarely show up!).
2. Discomfort. These people have an amazing capacity to deal with discomfort. They are tough. While others are getting precious, they're getting busy and getting their hands dirty. They don't look for quick fixes or magic pills. They 'get' the short-term pain, for long-term gain concept. They have an amazing ability to adapt to ever-changing (dynamic) situations and circumstances. They identify, and develop their own weaknesses and limitations.
3. Talent. Not absolutely necessary but kinda helpful! Many people with less talent have created amazing outcomes and many highly-talented people have been treading water for years. Talent and commitment ....now there's a combination.
4. Passion and Drive. It's pretty easy to pick whether or not someone is genuinely ready to change and do what's needed. Successful people ooze motivation and enthusiasm... their passion is infectious.
5. Creativity and vision. They have an ability to 'see' something before it actually becomes a reality. They are innovators not imitators.
6. People of action. They do stuff. While many are talking, they're doing. As boring and old-fashioned as it sounds, your Grand-dad was right when he said "there ain't no substitute for hard work". In science we would call this a correlation between investment of energy and outcome.
7.Decision Makers. While many people are perpetually considering, analysing and hoping things will 'fall into place', these girls are making decisions... and not those fluffy, inconsequential decisions... but those big-ass, change-your-life-forever decisions. You know the ones.
8. Attitude. These people are always finding reasons to succeed. They deal with problems quickly and effectively. They focus on what they can change, rather than bitch about what they can't. They are realists but they are also glass-half-full people. People want to hang out with them because they have great energy.
9. Practical and Logical. While still being in touch with their emotions, they have the capacity to think clearly and logically in all situations. When others might succumb to their own emotions (fear, insecurity, self-doubt) these people have a capacity to find practical solutions to challenging situations. They set goals, they create action plans and they research. They are well organised and good time-managers.
10. Self Control. While others let the wheels fall off, these guys stay in control. Even when there's a 'reason' to panic, complain, criticise or react negatively, they don't. They are in charge of their internal state, no matter what's going on around them.
Q. You know what's good about articles like this one? A. Lots of great information and practical ideas.
Q. You know what's bad? A. Most people won't do anything with it.
One of the only negatives of owning a reasonably successful business is that I get inundated with phone calls from people that I don't know, who generously want to help me grow my business. The answer to all my professional problems. How nice.
People who have never met me, know nothing about me, have never set foot in my business and apparently have some deep-seated, burning, selfless, desire to help little-old me be all that I can. Giddyup.
Fortunately for me, Kim my PA is well trained in the art of deflection and evasion. If people can get through the twenty-five question phone interrogation then she may, or may not, put their call through to me. One person who survived such a grilling is a bloke named John Hopkins.
I spoke to him for sixty seconds, told him I was too busy to see him but to call me back one day in the future; knowing that he probably wouldn't.
He did. A lot.
Bugger.
After a month or so of dogged persistence, I succumbed and 'graciously' agreed to a fifteen minute meeting (such a giver). Apparently he wanted to talk to me about web-site stuff (not a passion of mine), something called podcasting (who cares?) and some other mumbo-jumbo, cyber-tech crap that I didn't really understand.
And of course, if I don't know about it or understand it, it must be crap and it can't be important.
Lesson 1. Don't let your ego, attitude, ignorance or arrogance hold you back personally or professionally (men, pay attention). Not that I would... but I've heard some do.
So on October 13, 2006 (82 days ago) the boring techno-cyber-fluff geek and I met. The fifteen minute meeting went for two hours and much to my surprise, the geek turned out to be interesting and kind of clever. Decent and likeable even. Bugger again.
He introduced me to the concept of a blog site; apparently like an on-line journal, diary, magazine, soap-box. A place to voice your thoughts, ideas, philosophies. A place to share and exchange ideas and information on the cyber-highway; the blogosphere.
Okay, he lost a little ground when he used the term, blogosphere.
"You already write professionally, you already do media stuff, you already stand in front of business groups and students, this is another way for you to connect with an audience and get your message out there", he told me.
He showed me a blog site (set up by one guy) which had over one million visitors per month!
That freaked me out. "So you're telling me that some guy jotting down his thoughts on his laptop in his lounge room on the other side of the world is being read by over a twelve million people every year?"
"Yep".
Hmm, no editors editing. No producers telling me what to talk about, who to talk to, or how long to talk for. No dead-lines. An international audience.
Okay Johnnie, I'm in.
And a blogger was born.
So I took my first wobbly blogging steps late October 2006 and I've been attending blogger kindergarten ever since.
Lesson 2. Sometimes the best opportunities and lessons come from the least likely places.
Here's a snapshot of what's happened in the last 82 days:
* Johnnie the annoying geek has turned out to be neither, annoying or a geek.
* He now works with me full-time helping me manage my hectic professional life and more importantly, he is the engineer, the architect and the driving force behind the site (he even has his own office at the Harperdome).
* I write the content but Johnnie makes the site look good and function well.
* Johnnie has patiently answered my 14,782 questions at blogger kindergarten over the last 82 days. He is a good teacher and I am an annoying student. I want to know everything by last Tuesday.
* I have spent on average three to four hours per day working on the site; primarily writing content.
* The site has gone from zero to just over 5,000 visitors per week and it's growing by the day.
* I have learned terms like post (an online article or diary contribution), Google Analytics (some techy thing which tells us all about the traffic to our site) and Technorati. As well as I can understand, Technorati is a type of ranking system for blog sites. When other sites link to this site, we climb the rankings. Apparently there are over 55 million blog sites and as I write this, craigharper.com is ranked at 89,588 which ranks us in the top 0.2% of sites. Three weeks ago we were ranked over a million.
* At the moment we have 38 other sites linked to ours, and that figure is increasing by about 2-3 links per day (Johnnie tells me this is good!).
* Johnnie has received more hugs from big muscular men in the last 82 days than most people would in a lifetime. He feigns embarrassment and annoyance.... but he really digs it. He teaches us about the blogosphere and we teach him about his intimacy issues.
* He has dropped 7 kilos (15lbs) since his debut at the Harperdome and is the most rock-hard web-freak on the east coast of Australia.
* I have had the opportunity to meet and chat with people from all over the world (on-line) and I love every second of it.
* I have regularly sat up until two am blogging after working a fifteen hour day.
Lesson 3. (An oldie but a goodie) Every successful endeavour (business, program, web-site, book, project) starts with an idea. The vast majority of people do nothing, and then complain when others turn their idea into a reality.
Do nothing; you'll get nothing.
I don't tell you any of these things to impress you, but rather to impress upon you how possible is to learn, grow, create, succeed and have some fun when we step out of our little bubble, put in the effort, take a chance, overcome a few fears, fall over, get up and keep going. Many times I have been frustrated over the last eighty two days. Many times I have made significant mistakes... but they are usually my best lessons. Some of what I have written has been quality, some has been mediocre but every day Johnnie and I are learning together, growing, adapting and working at creating something amazing. Something that will make a difference. Something we can both be proud of. Something that gives us and hopefully, millions of others, motivation, inspiration and joy.
Lesson 4. Whoever said ignorance is bliss was lying. Ignorance is a handicap.
Imagine if I hadn't let Johnnie in the door. You wouldn't be reading this now.
And I wouldn't be attending blogger kindergarten.
Johnnie and I appreciate you visiting the site and would love your feedback, ideas and suggestions. It is a work in progress, we are both learning (okay, mainly me) and we are both committed to making this the best educational, motivational and inspirational resource we can. Let me know what you would like me to write on... If I don't know anything about it, you know I'll make it up!
P.S. Much to his very vocal disapproval (you really need to work on that swearing) I have included a photo of the bald man lurking around the Harperdome. What are you doing in the gym Johnnie?... Get back to your computer you geek!
We've all heard the saying: "You don't know what you've got until it's gone."
A few short stories:
Story one. A few years ago I travelled to South Africa to do some work with one of my best friends who is the head of a charity which works internationally with children who suffer as a result of living in poverty. We travelled in and around the poorest parts of Johannesburg conducting a needs analysis to ascertain where the charity would focus it's energy, money, resources and time. Most of the trip was spent working with organisations (hospitals, orphanages, homes) who care for children who have the AIDS virus. Over the course of a couple of weeks, I saw hundreds of children, who through no fault of their own, had been given a death sentence. I hugged them, fed them and cried over them.
It was a life-changing and attitude-changing experience for me.
I saw a child who weighed two kilos (4.4lbs) at the age of two (who died the next day) and I met four year-olds who weren't going to make their fifth birthday. To say it was confronting and uncomfortable for me would be the understatement of the decade. So the white boy from his comfortable middle-class, privileged existence in Melbourne, Australia who had a periodic tendency to complain about how tough his life was, and who thought he had it all figured out realised that:
1. he didn't really know much at all 2. he had no (real) problems 3. he made his lifeharder than it needed to be and 4. he had absolutely no idea how great his life was or how ignorant he was.
Spend some time with kids with AIDS (or any terminal illness) and your perspective will change. I returned home and had a completely new appreciation for, and awareness of everything in my life; I realised I was genuinely privileged. I learned that my (few)challenges and hurdles were relatively inconsequential.
Nothing had changed, yet everything had changed.
Story two. I have a friend who is a Personal Development junkie. Books, seminars, CD's, DVD's, newsletters, affirmations on the mirror... and a life-coach (of course). He doesn't want to do well; he wants to be obscenely rich (his words). His life is pretty cool; great wife, loving family, good health, good career and lots of reasons to be happy. I'm not saying his life is without problems or challenges but in the overall scheme of things, there ain't a whole lot of hardship going on.
He's rarely happy. Rarely satisfied. Never enjoys where he is. So busy striving and pushing towards his incredible future that he fails to see what he already has which is incredible.
One of the problems with some Personal Development students is that they are so pre-occupied with creating their amazing future that they don't really appreciate, or let themselves enjoy, their pretty-darn-good 'right now.' Considering that we live in the present and never in the future, it's a good idea to be able to enjoy the here and now (while still having goals and dreams for the future).
The truth is most of us have many reasons to be happy (now) yet we seem to have an amazing ability to find reasons not to be.
Story three. Years ago I worked with a guy who has without doubt, one of the best wives in the world. She is one of the most loving, caring, generous, thoughtful people I've ever met. I always teased him about how she was too good for him and how one day, she would dump him for me. I was always surprised by how little he seemed to appreciate or acknowledge his wife's efforts. In fact I was astounded at how much he complained about so many things and how critical he was of her. He was the 'big man' with the doting wife. King of the Castle. Master of his domain.
Idiot.
So one day the doting wife got up and left (not for me). And the King of the Castle turned into a blithering wreck. He begged, pleaded, cried and moped. For a long time.
She didn't come back for nearly a year. Needless to say, his attitude and behaviour had changed somewhat.
Five years down the track they're still happily together and he knows (and shows) how great his life is. Smart.
It's great to be driven to achieve our best life but it's also crucial that we learn to enjoy what we already have.
The time to appreciate things is when we have them, not when we lose them.
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