Archive of Motivational Speaker

Welcome to Craig's site.

Craig Harper is a leading motivational speaker and educator. He is a highly sought-after corporate coach and is considered to be a leader and pioneer in the areas of personal and professional development. Working with hundreds of teams, companies and a wide variety of organisations on numerous continents over the last twenty years has given Craig a unique insight into, and understanding of, human performance and all its variables. Craig has an ability to educate, inspire, challenge and make people laugh all at the same time!

Renovate Your Life Blog

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Where did the Dreamer go?

Last year I had a phone call from a guy that I had gone school with but had not seen for twenty plus years.
He had heard me on the radio and decided to make contact.

As he talked I struggled to recall exactly who he was.
Don't you hate that when someone talks to you like they're a long lost buddy and your like.. "who the hell are you?"

Anyway, he kept chatting and it eventually dawned on me who he was.
We hadn't been best friends but we were in the same year and hung out occasionally.
I remembered him as being a creative, dreamer with an amazing imagination who could draw beautifully and write incredible stories.
A good guy.
Kinda cool.

He was always talking about all the amazing 'stuff' he was going to do when he left school and all his grand plans to write and illustrate his own series of books.
In class he would write and draw his own comic books and us kids would sit around and read them while we were meant to be doing something far more academic.

Compared to me, he was kind of eccentric but I always marvelled at his great ideas and plans, and the clarity he had about his future.
While I was struggling to lose my fat identity he was dreaming his dreams and preparing himself for the opportunity to turn his passion into a business, or at the very least, a career.
I remember him winning awards at school for his art and our English teacher encouraging him to study literature at university.

We spoke for only a minute or two on the phone and arranged to meet for a coffee and chat the next day.

As I was driving to meet with him I wondered what the seventeen year-old optimistic dreamer with the long bohemian hair looked like a quarter of a century later.
I wondered if I'd recognise him.
The first thing I noticed as he walked towards me in the cafe was his lack of hair.
His head, once home to a long, flowing mane now resembled a barren wasteland.

I must of been staring because his first line was, "not what it used to be, is it?"

"Er, no...aah, er... you look great."

'Gee that was smooth', I thought.

I lied; he looked tired, old and totally un-inspired.
Different.

He sat down and we started to chat.
I was excited to learn about the books he'd written and his career as an artist and writer.
It didn't occur to me that he could have done anything else.

"So, how many books have you written?"
(he laughs).
"Let's see, including my most recent one....none!"
"Really?"
"Yep."

I didn't know what to say.
I didn't want to offend him.

"Wow, if there's one person that I was sure I knew where they'd end up, it was you."

"What happened?"

"Life happened, my wife happened, kids happened, bills happened, divorce happened, stress happened."

"And here I am; simple really."

"So what do you do now", I asked.

"I sell cars."

"Oh, great."

"It's not great; it's crap."

"Oh."

For about half an hour we had some incidental, almost-meaningless dialogue but the seventeen year-old dreamer with a sparkle in his eyes, excitement in his voice, dreams in his mind and hope in his heart, had well and truly gone.

I felt sad for him.
He was so talented.
What a waste.

"Where's the seventeen year-old creative dreamer gone", I asked him.
"He got his dreams and creativity beaten out of him by life."
"They got replaced by reality."

While he wasn't really bitter, he was 'defeated'.
His dreams and plans were ancient history to him.
It was like the years had sucked the creativity energy out of him.

"So why don't you write your book?"
"I'm forty-two."
"So?"

"Man, I have three kids, I sell cars and I own less than half of my house."

"Don't tell me about your life situation, tell me about what's in your heart?"

"Waddya mean?"

"If your life situation was different, would you like to write?"

"Of course."

"So write... even though it's not different - yet."

"Who for?"

"Initially, for you."

"And then hopefully, for everyone else."

I told him that I write professionally.
He was shocked.
"Really."
"Yep, and I have less talent than you!"

I had an idea.

"Why don't you start writing your book, I'll read your drafts, give you some feedback and when you're done, if you and I think it's good enough...I'll do my best to get you a meeting with a publisher."

"Really?"
"Yep."

Sixty minutes after we met, we stood to our feet to say goodbye.
He gave me a hug that lasted just a little too long and I detected a glimmer of hope.

Excitement maybe.

The seventeen year-old creative was coming back to life.
The dreamer was waking up.

One week later I received an email with a thirty thousand word document attached; the first three chapters of his book.

It was good.
Real good.

I rang him.
He was a different person.
"You were right Craig; I needed to write for me."
"I feel amazing."

That was six months ago.
The car salesman has now finished the fifth (and almost final) draft of his first fantasy novel.
It's nearly 200,000 words!

The dreamer is dreaming again and hope has returned.

I'll keep you posted on his book.

* Tell us about your dream

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Monday, January 29, 2007

Loving the Now

Were you ever involved in a treasure hunt when you were a kid?
When I was eight I was a highly skilled hunter of treasure.
So much good stuff to find ...and so little time.
I was particularly good when there was food to be found.

There's a shock.

I remember the feeling of excitement in my stomach as the other kids and I would listen to the instructions and hints from some silly grown-up.

I remember standing there looking at the yard thinking, "I can't see any treasure at all."

Guess that's why we had to hunt for it.

When I stood back and looked... it just seemed like any yard.
But when I got off my butt and started to search for treasure, it was there.

Lucky for me someone pointed out that there was treasure to be found.

The obvious metaphor out of this story is that our life is that yard.

Why is it that we spend so much time looking over our neighbour's fence when our own yard is full of amazing stuff.
It's just that we never look for it.
We take it for granted.
We don't appreciate it.
We always want more when we don't appreciate the plenty that we already have.

It's great to have goals and it's smart to have a plan for our future.
And us P.D. types are always talking about creating our best life.
Which is good.
As a rule.

But one of the dangers of being totally focused on what we can be and do.. is that we run the risk of missing out on the joy of what we have in our life right now.
Unless you're the exception to the rule, then right now there are many 'gifts' in your life (friends, family, health, nature) that you don't enjoy... the way you could.
Right now... you're missing out.

Sometimes we're so all-about tomorrow that we're never really enjoy today.
The now (where we live).

If there's a potential down-side to personal development I think it's the fact that we can become so driven, so all-about-what-we-can-become, that (1) we can annoy the crap out of everyone in our life who isn't on the same page as us (2) we lose sight of, and appreciation for, what we do have right now and (3) we are in danger of losing perspective on what's really important and what our values (what's important to us) really are.

Have you ever met anyone who is so focused on their future .... or so angry, bitter or resentful about their past that they never seem to enjoy their... now?

They don't seem to have that ability which allows them to savour what they have at this point in time. And the irony is that so many people who don't enjoy or appreciate what they have, or where they are, are the first ones to desperately want it all back when it's taken from them.

I have a friend who lives in the States.
We see each other every year or two and email once a month.
We have known each other for twenty years or so and for the whole time that I've known her she has constantly bitched about her mum (mom) and pointed out to me her many faults and shortcomings.
Why and how her mum has made her life a challenge (misery).

I got an email from her just before Christmas.

Sadly, her mum had just passed away unexpectedly.
I have spoken to her by phone three times since.
She is devastated.

What does she want? Her mum back.
Who does she desperately miss? Her mum.
What does she regret? Not appreciating her mum and acknowledging the good stuff.
What would she do to have one more day with her mum? Anything.

All of a sudden she's beginning to understand that, although her mum wasn't perfect... she was actually a normal, loving, caring mum who did the best that she could with what she had and what she knew.

Her mum was a gift.

If only she bothered to look for the treasure in her own back yard.

Why don't you do a treasure hunt on your own life right now and rejoice in what you have... and stop looking over that fence for a minute.

Why don't you tell one of your treasures why you love them and how much you appreciate and need them.
Humble yourself.
Swallow your pride.
Put your ego aside and stop waiting.
Do something amazing.
Do something that's not comfortable... but is right.

I've made a decision to not only create a great future... but to love the now.

You with me?

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Saturday, January 27, 2007

HEY! Can't you Shut those Kids up?

Life is a great teacher.
If we let it be.
When we open our eyes, hearts and minds to the world of possibility... then we start to see some amazing stuff happen.
And we all want amazing.

Remember?
We've chatted about this.
Don't make me go through it again.
Good.

Put up yer hand if you want mediocre.
See.
No-one.

Amazing it is.

When we walk around with our eyes closed, our fingers in our ears and minds switched off to the possibility of 'new' or 'different' or 'uncomfortable'... then we're destined for a lifetime with little fulfillment, enjoyment, fun, challenge or personal growth.

A lifetime of 'same'.
Mediocre.
Blah.

A lifetime in that safe, little (boring) box.

We say we want to grow... but we avoid situations which will cause us to grow.
We know that discomfort causes us to adapt, change, learn and improve.... yet we desperately seek comfort at every opportunity.

We don't look for the most effective option... we look for the easiest option.

I'm always amazed at what I can learn when I approach every day with the mindset of a student. Rather than saying, "why is this happening to me".... I will ask "what can I learn from this experience, situation, circumstance."

I know the above statement is stereo-typical Personal Development dialogue (and I do my best to avoid it).... but it's also true.
It actually works.
When we do it.

The other day I was in my office (at the gym), which is strategically located in the quietest corner of the centre. I was sitting at my computer doing my best to be creative and inspirational with an article I was writing, when my tranquility was shattered and my 'zone' was invaded.

So there I was; Mr Adaptable, Mr Personal Development, Mr Student-of-Life down-loading some wisdom(!) on the keyboard when all of a sudden I hear, what sounds like, fifteen screaming kids on the other side of my door.
Having the amazing self-control and focus that I do... I decide to ignore the noise (it is a gym after all) and continue to write.

That lasts twenty seconds.

I stand up, walk to the door, I'm about to open it.. and the noise subsides.
Finally.
Peace.
Aaaah.

For eight seconds.
They start again.
I tell myself to get over it.

I can't.

Pick the man who has no kids.
Pick the man who needs a life-lesson.

I stand up.
I've worked myself into a state.
"Have those parents no control of those kids", I ask myself.
"Are they deaf?"
"What's wrong with them?"
"How can people be inconsiderate?"

I'm grumpy.

I fling open my office door and to my amazement there aren't fifteen kids and accompanying parents... there are two kids and two mums.
And they're not on the other side of my door, they're twenty feet away.
The kids, who were clearly having more fun than my grumpiness could handle were chasing each around their mum's legs.
And the mums, who were way to calm and relaxed for such a stressful situation, seemed to be discussing what school their older kids were attending.

Could they not hear the noise?
Did they not sense the mayhem, stress and anxiety they were creating.

So there I was; the grumpy business owner doing my best to rationalise my grumpiness at some kids having fun and a couple of mums chatting.

Tool.

The only stress and anxiety was what I had created.

Stress isn't about situations; it's about us in the situation.

I had made myself stressed.
I had responded badly.
I had created a problem.
Where there was none.

Gotta love that whole learning thing don't ya?

Lesson for the day:
It's not what happens that matters, it's how we react (to what happens) that matters.

How do you react?

Let me know what life has taught you lately.

(Let us know where you're from).

P.S. I will let you know who has won a shirt from our "Teach the Teacher Day" in the next few days.

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Thursday, January 25, 2007

It's not about my Biceps after all.

When I was a young buck I was obsessed with bodybuilding.
And my body.

As most of you know I went through the fat kid phase until I was fourteen, then the how-far-can-I-run-every-day phase, for a few years and then when I was seventeen I began a love affair with barbells and bench presses which lasted for years.

Sometimes my heart still skips a beat when I walk near the squat rack.

By the time I was eighteen I had stopped playing competitive sport and had totally immersed myself into the world of bodybuilding.
I walked, talked, lived, ate and trained like a bodybuilder.
All I wanted to do was look like a freak; a cartoon character.
The bigger, the better.
Veins like garden hoses, delts (shoulders) like bowling balls, massive guns (arms), freaky wheels (legs), ridiculous abs and less body-fat than Brad Pitt in Fight Club.

Giddyup.

I had zero balance, a warped perspective and strange priorities.
Some people who are smarter than me would say that I was trying to compensate physically for what I lacked emotionally and psychologically.

As a kid I would dream of having a physique like a Super Hero (as most boys do).
I figured that if I was built like Superman then chicks would dig me, guys would be in awe of me, I'd be incredibly popular, life would be great and of course, I would have no problems.

Okay, so I didn't totally think the plan through.
Gimme a break; I was a dumb kid.
It all made sense in my head.... at the time.

Anyway, one day I woke up, I was twenty one years-old, a 105 kgs (230lbs), less than ten percent body-fat, eating seven times a day, training twice a day, six days a week and I looked like a freak.
The fat kid had been replaced by a large, muscular, lean..... insecure, dysfunctional, obsessed adult.

Bugger.
So much for the plan.

The amazing thing was that all of my 'issues' were still there.
Even with my huge biceps.
I learned that I couldn't fix my emotional problems with a physical solution.
With my new found muscle and dimensions came a whole new batch of problems.

"What if I lose muscle and size?"
Some bodybuilders suffer from what I call, Bigorrexia; the opposite of anorexia... they stress if they lose size or weight.

"What if I get injured and can't train?"
If I had to miss a workout through injury, I would get anxious.

"What if I can't get to the gym?"
I would never travel unless I knew I would be able to access a gym.

Cleverly, (!) I created a whole new list of things to worry and stress about.

It was partly out of my bodybuilding journey and subsequent realisations that I came to explore self-improvement on a level beyond that of my biceps and pecs (thank goodness). I realised that it didn't really matter what things looked like on the outside if internally I was dying.

And I was.

Not literally, but emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.
The image I tried so hard to portray was so the opposite of what I was actually feeling on the inside.
A scared, unsure, insecure ten year-old trapped in this great big, mans body.

I didn't intend to be shallow or one-dimensional... but that's where I was heading.

Somewhere, somehow I had 'learned' (and we all know about those destructive beliefs) that if I had an amazing body.... everything would be great.
As a teenager I would devour muscle mags and they had 'taught' me that success was all about how I looked.

So now we fast-forward to 2007 and I have to admit that I occasionally feel conflicted about owning a business which deals primarily with the physical. The irony is that I spend far more time talking to people about their mental, emotional and spiritual well-being than I do about their biceps, body-fat or carb intake.
As an Exercise Scientist I spend so much time not talking about exercise.

Breast implants, collagen injections, liposuction, hair transplants, face-lifts, electrolysis, nose jobs, appetite suppressants, diuretics, steroids.... you name it, there's not much I haven't seen people do to 'improve' themselves.

A few years ago I worked with a lady who had spent (the best part of) $100,000 on cosmetic 'enhancements'.
Pick a body part... it had been modified or tweaked.
Over the course of ten years she had turned her body from 100% natural into.. "hey, let's see if we can find an original part!"

If only she had invested the same time and energy working on the internal stuff.

She was one unhappy, miserable puppy.

Unfortunately there seemed to be an inverse correlation between the volume of surgery she had and her level of happiness, joy and fulfilment.
The more she changed the outside, the more miserable and desperate she got on the inside.

I don't think it's necessarily a conscious thought process, but I do know that many people feel that if only they can live there, earn more, own one of those, weigh less or look like that (all external stuff) ... then most of their (internal) problems will disappear.

If you asked them they'd deny it... but look at how they live.
Look at the choices they make.
Look at how they prioritise things.
Look where they invest their time and energy.

We all talk about how we want peace, balance, harmony, happiness and contentment.... but the truth is some of us live a life which is at odds with our (alleged) values.
Remember 93% of communication is non-verbal... if you want to know what someone really thinks or believes, don't listen to them... watch what they do.

What they do will tell you much more about them than what they say.

I have a friend who has had four serious long-term relationships.
I love her but I gotta say, she's got issues.
A bunch.
She knows it.
Every time she has problems in a relationship she breaks up with the guy and leaves the country!
Invariably she goes overseas and it's usually within days of breaking up with Mr. Right Now (as she calls them).
Instead of dealing with the internal stuff (fears, insecurities) she changes her external situation (leaves the country) so she doesn't have to deal with things.
Then she sneaks back into the country a month later, meets another guy... and the cycle continues.
Sometimes a change of scenery is handy... sometimes it's simply a way of avoiding things we should deal with.
Because she doesn't want to deal with her issues (primarily fear-based stuff), she continues to have the same problems with different men.
Next bloke she dates I'm going to give him a warning card.

* Remember real personal growth always works from the inside out.... not the other way around. Change you first...and then your situations, circumstances, finances, careers and relationships will change for the better.

Always.

Drop me a line and let me know your thoughts.
(And where you're from).

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Beliefs

A few brief stories about beliefs.

*These are not 'illustrations'; they are true stories.

Story One.
When I was a fat fourteen year-old I believed I could never be an athlete.
I believed nobody would ever want me on their team.
I believed I was a 'Jumbo' (because that's what I was called - even by teachers).
I believed I was an under- achiever.
I believed I was less than average.
I believed all these things because this is what my world had taught me.

I had those beliefs because that's what my conversations, observations and life-experiences had taught me.

Story Two.
I have a friend who, until recently, had strong opinions about a certain group of people (a religious group). On several occasions I had heard him be openly critical and insulting. Apart from his dislike for these people, he is kind of decent, considerate and fun to be around.
About six months ago I was with him and he launched into one of his insulting monologues.
"Okay, what specifically about their religion, their beliefs, their principles and their culture do you find so repugnant," I asked.
"Wadd'ya mean?"
"I mean, do you even know what their beliefs are?
Have you ever explored their religion?"
I sat him down and I explained the religion to him and he realised:

1) he was actually ignorant and discriminatory
2) he shared some common beliefs and values with the people he was criticising
3) his beliefs, thoughts and ideas were based on mis-information

Where did those beliefs come from?

His ignorant father.

Who had kindly programmed his kids to be just like him.
A bigot.

Story Three
I have another (life-long) friend.
She is an incredible singer.
Better than most professionals I've ever heard.
Really.
She would love to be a professional singer but apparently, she's no good.
Just ask her.
For her entire life her parents have told her that she's a deluded dreamer and that she should focus on a sensible career with a large, credible organisation.
Preferably a bank; like dad.
She just turned thirty.
Without any doubt, she has the talent to be a professional musician.
The only problem is she doesn't believe it.
Her parents have taught her she can't do it.
She sells insurance.

Story four.
One of my trainers is an elite track and field athlete.
Very Elite.
She is in the top two in Australia for her sport.
She has represented her country at the Commonwealth games and will more than likely be picked in the Olympic team next year.
She is strong, powerful, highly skilled, amazingly athletic and it's incredible to watch her competing.
She's a great girl.
No ego.

She thinks she's crap.

What holds her back is not her ability (which is considerable) but her beliefs about her ability.
She thinks she's not good enough.
She has amazing talent, a freaky body and no belief in herself.
Sad.

Did you know that much of our 'learning' is unconscious and that many of our beliefs limit us rather than empower us?
Most of our learning comes from outside of the classroom..... and often not from good places or experiences.
We have an amazing ability to take on criticism and negativity (emotionally and psychologically)and an even more amazing ability to deflect praise and approval.

"I don't believe you; you're just saying that to be nice"

Whether or not we succeed often has little to do with talent, situations, circumstances or opportunities and plenty to do with our beliefs.
Beliefs about what we can or can't do.
Beliefs about what we do or don't deserve.
Beliefs about how others see us.
Beliefs about our ability.
Beliefs about relationships.
Beliefs about other people.

We are constantly receiving, processing and interpreting information (without even thinking about it).
From a young age our world is teaching us, about us.

Not pretty enough, smart enough, fast enough, academic enough, cool enough, talented enough.....

If you are totally committed to creating your best life (whatever that is for you) then now might be a great time to question some of those deep, deep, deep down beliefs you've been hanging on to for way too long.
Maybe you weren't even aware... but without knowing it, you have been your biggest obstacle to success.

Find a quiet place and ask yourself a few questions.
1) What do I believe?
2) Why do I believe those things?
3) Where do my beliefs come from?
4) Do my beliefs empower me or handicap me?

And ask those questions in relation to the following:

Relationships
Family
Friends
Career
Health
Your body
Your future
Your potential
Money
Spiritual beliefs
Whatever is important to you

We handicap ourselves if we're not regularly re-assessing all, or some, of our beliefs.
Don't believe something just because your dad did.
Maybe your dad was wrong!
Too many people struggle through life, crippled by their destructive beliefs.
Self-imposed (totally unnecessary) limitations.

Believe something because you've explored it, thought about it, experienced it and know it to be true.
Not because someone told you it was so.
Ask questions.
Seek truth.
Real truth; not their version of the truth.
Listen to lots of people, believe some (you'll know who).
Discover for yourself what you believe, who you are, what you can do, be.
Don't let anyone or anything tell you what's possible for you (or not).

Trust me, they (usually) don't know.
But don't believe me, find out for yourself.

What we believe determines who we become.
What do you believe?
And who will you become?

* Let us know where you're from when you comment

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Sunday, January 21, 2007

A Successful Failure.

*Before we get started.....
I was hesitant to write this article the way I have because I know that some people may mis-interpret my intentions ... so I will clarify them before we begin so there is no mis-understanding.
My reason for writing about parts of my professional journey is not to impress you, but to impress upon you how possible it is for us to create 'amazing' if we consider, apply and embrace certain principles.
I don't think that I'm amazing and I don't consider myself to be particularly gifted but I do know that if I'm prepared to deal with some regular discomfort (hurdles, speed humps, setbacks, problems, challenges.....failures) then I drastically increase my chances of succeeding.
I know the more prepared I am to make mistakes, fall over, look silly....fail, the more likely I am to create long term success IF I learn from my mistakes and adapt, grow and change.

By the way, failure is merely a label people give certain events.
I personally don't use the term, but I will for the purpose of this conversation.

When I set up my first commercial business I was twenty six.
I had no real idea was I was doing.
I thought I did but looking back... I didn't.
I knew I wanted to set up a commercial Personal Training centre.
There were none in Australia, so I had no blue-print to follow, no mentors to rely on and a whole bunch of people who (thoughtfully) informed me that the concept wouldn't work in this country.

In my mind I had a picture of what I wanted to create... (the end result).

It was just all the in-between steps that I was a little grey on.
A lot grey on.

I had no idea about commercial leasing or how to communicate with, or negotiate with, real estate people.
No experience running a business.
No experience employing or managing staff.
Limited leadership experience.
No experience dealing with, or negotiating with, equipment suppliers.
No idea about business plans.
No marketing skills and no idea what 'branding' was.
No profile.
No tertiary qualification.

In my first year of business I asked some questions which were so stupid (to the person I was asking) that they thought I was joking.
I was absolutely serious.
I didn't know the most fundamental things because I had never been taught.
I was a bodybuilder who had worked in gyms.
My life (essentially) revolved around lifting heavy things, eating too much chicken, chasing girls and training my clients.
Simple.
Enjoyable.
But not great training for the would-be entrepreneur.
And not a great long-term success strategy.

When I was looking for premises for my first centre, the real-estate guy asked me what type of lease I wanted (as in the duration of the lease and options following the initial term) for the building I was about to sign up for.
I had no idea what he was talking about.

Here's the conversation:
"So what type of lease are you after?"
"What kind are there?"
(He laughs at me).
"You're kidding, right?"
"Nup."
"Oh."
(Embarrassment).

It's fair to say that I was humiliated, discouraged, criticised, ripped off, lied to and embarrassed many (I mean many) times in the first five years of owning and operating my own business.
More things didn't work, than did.

In a similar position, I believe that many people would have said "I gave it my best shot... it didn't work (I failed)."
I was either too stubborn, too driven or too stupid to throw in the towel.
I knew that because I wasn't especially gifted or talented it was always going to come down to my perseverance, attitude and ability to finish things.

(The No.1 reason people don't succeed, no matter what the endeavour, is their inability to finish what they start).

In the first five years I had many lessons on what not to do in establishing, developing and maintaining a business (or any worthwhile project). Every day was a lesson in perseverance, adaptation (thinking on my feet) and humility (acknowledging my numerous shortcomings).

Here's a brief snapshot of some of my journey over the last decade (or so!).
Again, not to impress you but to encourage you that when we apply some basic principles, even people with average skills, talent, knowledge and potential can create amazing.

Writing
Then:
Initially told myself I didn't have the talent and that no-one would want to read what I wrote.
Wrote for quite a few obscure magazines and newspapers.
Wrote a lot and got paid nothing.

Now:
Write every issue for several national magazines (one of which has a circulation of 200,000).
Wrote for a major newspaper for three years.
Had two books commercially published and self-published two more.
Have had hundreds of articles published.
I get paid well to write.

Media
Then:
Worked in community radio for 3 years for free.
Did my first radio interview in 1990.
Developed skills, asked lots of questions, studied the pro's.
Hosted my first show on commercial radio in 2004 (at forty) - I was crap.
I slowly got better.
Worked on community TV in Melbourne doing a show called 'Muscle TV' (embarrassing I know).

Now:
Work regularly on three commercial radio stations.
Do about five to ten hours of live radio per week.
One of the stations has an average listening audience of 80,000 (compared to 8 on community radio!).
Work regularly on national television (Network TEN).
The TV show I work on (9AM) has an average viewing audience of about 400,000.
Still learning, still asking questions.
Regularly do media interviews to comment as an industry 'expert'.
Still make mistakes.
Still developing skills.
Still cringe when I see myself on TV.

Public speaking
Then:
Did my first public speaking gig in 1987 to twelve employees at a timber yard.
I was twenty four years old.
I spoke for fifty minutes on health, fitness and attitude.
I sucked.
A lot.
I got paid fifty dollars.
They got ripped off.
I prepared for the talk for two weeks (at least thirty hours of preparation).
I was so nervous before the talk I had to take my shirt off in the bathroom and dry it under the hand dryer.
Subsequently did many average talks (100's) for very little money.

Now:
I have spoken in six countries.
I do over 100 speaking engagements per year.
I am managed by one of the largest speaking agencies in Australia; ICMI.
I get paid more than fifty dollars.
My audiences are larger than twelve.
I don't suck as much.

My business
Then:
One employee... me; janitor, book keeper, trainer, maintenance man, boy Friday.
Lots of hurdles.
Constant learning.
Annual turn-over: not much

Now:
Constant learning.
Forty-five Trainers.
Five administrative staff.
Full time PA (Kim).
Full time tech guy (Johnnie).
Over 1,600 sessions of Personal Training per week.
Have employed over 300 people since 1990.
Just opened a new gym (Gecko Kids Fitness).
Still making mistakes.
Annual turnover: More.

Academia
Then:
Majored in sandpit at school.
Focused on sport and girls.
Studied a total of two hours in 13 years.
Was an academic dud.

Now:
Went back to college as a mature-age student.
Qualified as an Exercise Scientist.
University Lecturer.
Have taught in five Universities.
Call myself a 'pracademic'.

Notable failures, stuff ups.
Solarium centre (it was the 90's) - lost a bunch of money.
Beauty Therapy Centre (stop laughing) - made no money... maybe lost a bit.
Another PT centre (I was a partner but didn't run it)... lost money.
Countless ideas and projects which didn't get off the ground... or did and fell over.
Called a well-known identity the wrong name... on air!
Was talking to three hundred people in a seminar, lost my train of thought, forgot what I was saying. Oops.
And way too many more to mention in a little post like this!

And now....
Every day I get up and I know that life is a gift and I have the opportunity to do something.... or nothing. I am passionate and driven because I choose to be. I know that some people will connect with my ideas and message and I know that some people will criticise my philosophies and my approach.
I'm okay with both.
I will continue to say what I believe even if it's not popular and even if it doesn't 'sell'.
I will not compromise my message for votes.
I will continue to learn, and continue to do what I do.
I will stay humble, I will be thankful for what I have, I will do my best to keep perspective and I will stay committed to helping you create your best life, even though I am flawed, even though I don't have all the answers and even though I fail regularly.

But now I (we) understand that failure is a crucial ingredient in the Personal Development journey.
Show me a person who's never failed and I'll show you a person who's never done anything.

* When (if) you leave a comment let us know where you're from.... ( )

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Saturday, January 20, 2007

Teach the Teacher Day at R.Y.L.

Hi Guys..
Saturday Morning here in Melbourne and a massive day of business and radio commitments for me... So today there will be no inspiration from from my keyboard but I will be back on deck tomorrow sharing the love and hopefully challenging you, inspiring you and making you uncomfortable enough to create your best life...

So here's my Idea.
Why don't you guys write something inspirational, motivational, educational, philosophical, insightful or reflective so you can inspire and teach each other (and me). I'm not the only one worth listening to (some would argue I'm never worth listening to) and there are no rules here at RYL so we can do what we want.

So today, you guys are the teachers.
You can do the work.
I've put in plenty of effort for you... now it's your turn
Giddyup.

Guidelines
1. Write about whatever you like.
2. Keep it under three hundred words (can be twenty words if you like).
3. No profanity
4. No 'selling' of products

Suggestions
1. Don't worry about what people think (get over yourself) ... allow yourself to be creative.
2. Have some fun with it.
3. Be honest... usually makes the best reading.
4. Write from the heart not the head.

What's in it for you?
1. An opportunity to share your ideas with others (thousands).
2. A chance for you to get uncomfortable, grow and learn.
3. I will read and respond to every 'post'.
4. A craigharper.com Shirt for the posts which push my buttons the most.

Okay?
Easy.

Simply click on the comments link at the bottom of this and start writing.
See you tomorrow.

Let us know where you're from...

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Friday, January 19, 2007

Too Old, too Fat, too Dumb.

Have you ever noticed how some people have an amazing ability to find reasons for not actually doing anything; taking risks, getting uncomfortable, making tough decisions, being pro-active, being responsible for the state of their life, relationships, body, finances.

Not you or I of course... but perhaps someone you know.

I'm too old.
I'm too fat.
I'm not the academic one.
I'm not the athletic one.
I'm not smart enough.
I have a terrible memory.
I don't know anything about business.
I'm not the writer, he's the writer.
My sister's the one with the great genetics.
And so on...

We... err sorry, they, pigeon-hole themselves into personal-growth paralysis.

"I would love to have my own blog site... but I can't write.... and anyway, who would want to read what I have to say; I'm boring...I don't have a qualification in anything..... and I tried something similar once before.... but my brother; he's a genius... you should listen to him!"

They spend their life justifying and rationalising their psychological, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial and professional stagnation.

Sometimes they even get angry at the world.
Or God.

'Cause that's gonna help.

Sometimes they really work at it and get bitter, grumpy and resentful because apparently, life dealt them some crap cards. Years blend into one another and while they are unhappy with much of their life, they don't actually do anything to change it.

Year after year, their life wreaks of sameness.
Because they constantly focus on what they can't do (or think they can't do).

They are forever having the same conversations about the same issues.... but don't do anything. They tell themselves (and anyone stupid enough to listen) how disadvantaged they are, so then they don't actually have to get off their arse and change their situation or circumstance because obviously.... it's all beyond their control.

Sure it is Pinocchio.
Boo Hoo.

One of my favourites is when people decide that they're too old for pretty much everything.

Their body is not the problem; their thinking is.
Age is more about attitude, beliefs and choices than it is about physiology, or years on the planet. I've met so many people who have successfully turned themselves into 'old people' in a matter of months.
It's quite the skill.
They think old, talk old, act old, live old... and then become old.

So many obese people have remained obese because apparently it's genetic!
"Mum's big, my sisters are all big and my dad's huge."

"Err, perhaps you all eat too much!"

"I bet if I took your family for a six month holiday at camp Craig and I controlled your food, your activity level and your exercise regime... there would be no fat family."
But, you keep telling yourself it's all about your DNA, then you won't have to take responsibility for your crappy eating, your unhealthy lifestyle happy, the gallon of coke per day or your 300lb body.

I apologise if I sound harsh but if you listened to the verbal crap that I listen to on a daily basis... you'd be blunt as well.

So, let's:

Stop finding reasons to fail!
Stop finding reasons to do nothing.
Focus on what we can change...
Can do.
Can control.

Can you change your attitude? Yes.
Can you eat less? Yes. (I didn't ask, is it easy?)
Can you make different choices today? Yes.
Can you surprise yourself and others today? If you choose to.
Can you work around your hurdles, obstacles and challenges? Yes.
Can you communicate differently from now? Yes.
Can you work on your weaknesses while maximising your strengths? Yes.
Can you learn new things at any age? Yes.
Can you create genuine, forever, inside-out change starting today? If you choose to.
Can you change destructive habits today? Yep...will it be easy.. probably not - do you want it enough? You tell me.
Can you make a decision now, right now in that chair which will change your life forever. Yep.

If you choose to.

Life's about choices.
Choices shape lives.
People make choices.
Or not.

Do you want an amazing life?
Do you want to be an amazing person?
Do you want to have amazing experiences.
Then do an amazing thing.
Get uncomfortable.
Now.
Even though it's not practical, convenient or comfortable... make that decision.
Don't just talk about it, read about it and think about it.
Do it.

Some of you are feeling uncomfortable now.
You know why?
Because you know what you need to change... and you know it won't be easy at times.
Do it anyway.
Surprise yourself.
Be different.
Be courageous.
I dare you.

You know that every successful endeavour starts with an idea and a decision.
You know that (for many of us) the right time never comes...

So why don't you, right here and now, address that thing... and make that decision.
And if you feel compelled, share it with us; it might help you create some momentum... (hey, at least you'll have a few thousand of us to keep you honest.... and we're on your team).

Go Team!!!

PS. You probably don't need to know this but in Melbourne right now it's reaaaally hot, so I just blogged in my undies (err...if you know what I mean).
It's kinda liberating.
Give it a go.

Don't forget to tell us where you're from....when you comment.

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Thursday, January 18, 2007

Learning from the Kids.

So Monday just past (Jan. 15) we opened our new gym for kids; one of the first kid-specific training centres in Australia.
School-age kids; 5 - 17 years.
Loud music, designer-graffiti on the walls, funky equipment and kids everywhere.
Very cool.

If I was ten, I'd never leave there.

A few months ago I made a decision which was great for my business, shocking for my self-esteem.... I took on a business partner (for the kids gym) who is twenty five, 6'4", buffed, alarmingly good looking, charismatic and annoyingly decent and likeable.
Kids love him, Mothers love him, dads want to be him.
I want to be him.

I have become the invisible man.
Pathetic.
Embarrassing.
The mums (moms) step over me to get to Sam.
I think I need blond tips.
Maybe an earring.
And a Porsche.

Lucky I've got you guys to prop me up emotionally.
Otherwise I'd be gone.

Today I was speaking with a lady who had come into the new centre to enquire about our programs. I was half way through a sentence when it became apparent that ....she wasn't even paying attention.
I wondered what the attraction was over my left shoulder.
Who else?

"Is he one of the Trainers."
"Er, Yeh."
"Mmm, I might book myself in."

Of course.

Sorry, I digress.

Waddya (Australian for what do you) mean... "where's the personal development stuff?"

Alright, well I did re-learn a few things in the last few days... here they are.

1. Kids are better than us at having fun.
Why is it that so many of us highly evolved, highly intelligent and incredibly complex 'grown-ups' seem to lose some really valuable skills as we age... having fun for instance.

"Mmm, sorry my schedule's pretty tight this week, I could possibly fit in some fun at say, 12.30 next Tuesday..... but I've only got ten minutes."
"Any good?"
"If you're really desperate, I could squeeze in some mild amusement early Monday for say, eight minutes, I just had a cancellation - get back to me."

Kids love to laugh and they do plenty of it.
And they laugh at stupid stuff.
A lot.
Don't they know it's stupid?

It's a good thing us older, wiser types are around to let them know when and how to have fun.

If kids want to have fun, they'll always make it happen.
They can be in the most boring, mundane environment or situation and they'll find a way to have fun.
If only us boring, serious old farts could do the same.

2. Kids are creative.
They invent stuff....
And when they invent their stupid games, with their stupid, pretend dragons (or fairies.. or cyborgs)... all the other kids totally buy into it.
What's that about.. don't they know how silly they look?
They run around being pretend villains and heroes, making their own sound effects and having the most fun ever, ever, ever.

What a pity so many of us let that creative, 'kid' part of ourselves die a slow death.
When kids are playing, creating and inventing new games, they don't care what they look like... or what people think of their game, their outfit, or their weird sound effects.

So there I am in the new gym being all cerebral and clever and analysing the business model, the administrative system and layout of the centre ... and these little tackers are running between my legs, laughing, screaming and just having way more fun than they should be.
It's just not right.

Don't they know how bleak things are at the moment?
Have they not turned on the TV?
Do they have no social conscience?
Have they not seen the price of oil.. the stats on obesity.... and poverty...and crime.
How dare they have so much fun when there's so much to worry about.

After all, us grown ups are much smarter and wiser.... and look how stressed and miserable we all are (present company excepted).

3. Kids take chances and show initiative.
I was in the new gym today being the very responsible, mature, 43 year-old business owner, deep in thought when this little voice says, "do you wanna play a game of around-the-key with me?"
I looked down and there's a nine year old who clearly doesn't realise that I am far too important and busy to play basketball with him.

"No Champ, I'm kinda busy" (said the big, stupid, insensitive, boofhead).
"Oh c'mon, it'll be fun."

How can you argue with that?

"Oh c'mon, it'll be fun!!".... I thought once I said no, that would be it.

Apparently not.

All of a sudden Mr 'Answers'... had none.

"Okay, five minutes but that's it."

Forty five minutes later..... I was a ball of sweat, I had just had my arse kicked by nine-year old with way too much talent for his own good and I couldn't remember the last time I had some much genuine fun.

4. Kids have less issues than grown-ups.
I was watching some of the little kids playing together before their class started.
Most of them didn't know each other; it didn't matter.
They were running around in circles doing....I'm not exactly sure what, but apparently it was a bunch of fun.

Anyway, one little boy fell over (not badly) and started to cry.
I was just about to be the hero when a little girl (about six) comes over, helps him up, gives him a hug and tells him he'll be okay.
The little boy stops crying, dusts himself off and keeps going.
And I'm thinking.... if grown-up girls did that, I might be clumsier.

What have the kids in your world taught you?

* When you leave a comment, let me know where you're from... thanks.

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Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Is it a Gift to be Gifted... or is it a Handicap?

I don't know if I have a definitive answer to this one but I thought that it might be an interesting topic to explore... so let's explore.

I'm gonna throw my bit in and then you guys are gonna head down to the comments link at the bottom of this post, tell me what you think and why, and then hopefully, we'll have a whole bunch of different opinions ...and some fun.
An argument perhaps!

Gotta love a little spirited debate.

We'll see if we can come up with some sort of group consensus on the issue.

If you're like me, you went to school with a super good looking, super talented, super athletic, super academic, super popular guy/girl who finished school and went on to do...... nothing much.

What's the deal with that?

All that talent and ..... donuts.
Nothin'.
What a waste.

Have you ever been to a school reunion?
They're a whole bunch of fun...
And how interesting it is to fast-forward 10, 15, 20 years and to see what became of the geek, the hottie, the jock, the in crowd and the socially invisible?

When I was at school, I was kind of average (in many ways).
In fact, average was my ambition.

I was the kid picked last for every sporting team.
Couldn't run to save myself, but could swim okay because I was incredibly buoyant.
Kind of like a cork with hair on top.

Being fat certainly helps when you're bobbing up and down in the water.
It's a pity all the school sports days weren't based in water...I could have been a champion.

Or not.

In a weird kind of way, I'm glad I was so mediocre because very early on (when I was about fourteen) I gained clarity, perspective and certainty about what I didn't want for my life.
I didn't want to be fat.
Or ridiculed.
Or picked on.
Or last.
Or mediocre.

So when I was fourteen and weighing 90 kilograms (198lbs) I decided that I would change my body.
One day, I just got to that point and from that moment on, there was never any doubt that it would happen (you know that old pleasure and pain thing).
I lost 30 kilograms (66lbs) in five months and went through not only a huge physical change, but a complete emotional and psychological metamorphosis as well.

It was about then that I realised that, what I would become (and achieve) in my life had little to do with talent or potential, and plenty to do with attitude, commitment and effort.

Without being too melodramatic, the pain of (some of) my childhood experiences actually helped me create the momentum, the right attitude and the necessary determination and focus to be able to begin to create real (forever) change.

Being called Jumbo for ten years also helped.

Over the years I have found that when I'm struggling to gain clarity about my future and my goals, I start by identifying what I don't want.... and that helps me get clarity about what I do want.

So, I guess for me, not being gifted was an advantage.
It gave me the desire to create an amazing life.

And while I've worked with many talented people who have achieved great things, I've also coached many gifted individuals (especially athletes) who simply haven't had the drive, the attitude or the work ethic to maximise their gifts.
I sometimes think that being told by everybody how amazing they were and how incredible they would be when they grew up, was actually a disadvantage.
It gave them a reason not to strive or sacrifice... because apparently it was all going to magically fall in their lap.

So I guess my opinion is that for some, being gifted is a gift, and for others it's a handicap.
I guess it depends what we do, or don't do, with that talent.

Perhaps you have an opinion or a story.
Let us know what you think.

I don't think this is one of those "who's right or wrong" discussions... but then maybe I'm wrong!
If you've never commented ... now's your chance.

* By the way, when you leave a comment, if you could let me know what country and state you're from that would be great..... I'm interested. Thanks.

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Monday, January 15, 2007

Critical of Critics

Have you ever noticed how some people, who clearly have enough of their own flaws, faults and issues (as we all do), seem compelled to constantly find fault in others?

And they're not critical in a "hey, I want to help you and here's some thoughtful feedback" kind of way. No, it's more of a "I'm an insecure tool who tries to make himself feel (or look) better by being critical of others" kind of thing.

One of the challenges of being a personal development writer and speaker is that some people (erroneously) assume that I must have it all together (which I clearly don't; just ask my friends)... or that I think I have it all together (which I know I don't).
But you know what?... I'm okay with being a work in progress.
In fact, I kinda dig it.
I love the learning thing.
It's fun.

By the way, we're all works in progress.

One of the reasons I get so excited about learning and growing is because I know how much I don't know... and for that reason, I'm passionate about, and committed to, my life-long personal development journey (be that physical, emotional, spiritual and / or intellectual). If I waited until I 'had it all figured out' before I started to write, teach, mentor, coach or try and help people, I would never do anything.

Okay, maybe I'd watch Oprah and eat.

I'm not interested in pointing out (perceived) flaws in others when I clearly have more than enough work of my own to do.

I recently wrote an honest account of my experience meeting an incredible woman named Lee which generated some positive feedback. In writing the post my sole intention was to inspire and challenge, and to tell a story; that's it.
Interestingly, someone wrote a comment on another web-site (where the post was also displayed) saying that the piece was an attempt at blatant self-promotion... and if you (the reader) care to view the post, I think you'll find the only person being promoted (for her amazing attitude and achievements) was Lee.

Now, I'm okay with criticism (I get plenty) and I'm not precious about people having opinions about me or my work (good or bad)... in fact, I'm kind of grateful to my critic because it