We need to stop looking for the convenient, easy, comfortable path and look for the rewarding, challenging, exciting, amazing and fulfilling path.

It's not about next three minutes; it's about the next three decades.

When we consider that consuming 1,000 calories per day more than we need (eating or drinking) will stack on about a kilo of body-fat per week, we start to understand why Mr. Slow Metabolism probably doesn't have a metabolic problem at all.

So, last night was my vegetarian restaurant debut.

An interesting experience for the life-long carnivore.

I've never seen so many beans, lentils, nuts, vegetables and variations of tofu in my whole life.

And let's not even discuss the candles or weird art.

And by the way, what's the deal with tofu?

A food that can be both, a savoury main course and then a sickly-sweet dessert, all in the same meal makes me nervous.

There's some trickery going on somewhere.

For sure.

You don't see us meat-eaters serving up chicken ice-cream, ham-flavoured cheesecake or charred animal flesh souffle', so I don't know if it's fair that the vegies (as I lovingly call them) can give me the same thing for main course and dessert.


Surely they're breaking some kind of international cuisine mandate.

I don't know what I expected, but whatever it was, I didn't get it.


A flash restaurant overlooking the sea (must be money in vegetables), the friendliest staff in the world, funky music, bumper to bumper people and a great vibe.

Annoyingly good.

I tried hard not to enjoy myself.

They made it tough.

It was with considerable trepidation that I approached the counter where I was instructed by 'Juan the vegie' to choose one of three rices; the saffron, the jasmine or the brown.
"Which one tastes like normal rice", I ignorantly asked Juan.

He laughed at the stupid carnivore and put the white one (jasmine, I think) on my plate.

He then led me down the counter to the section where I had to order four dishes to accompany my rice.

I ordered the ones which most looked like they contained meat, knowing that they didn't, but hoping that I might be able to trick my taste buds and my incredibly discerning digestive system.

I returned to the table and studied my plate for a minute or so.

I exchanged some meaningless, nervous dialogue with my friends.

I took a mouthful.

The first thing I noticed was that texture was different.
But the taste was okay.

Good even.

Bugger.

Really good.

I started eating last and finished first.

So, it would appear that I've been (bean) missing out.

The hunter, gatherer, alpha-male, meat-eater has had to stop and re-assess.

Tofu anyone?


ps. Thanks to Annie, Ian and Linda for enlightening the ingnorant carnivore

Harper's Personal Training staff room, 8.30 Friday morning.

Nine people in the room; seven blokes, two girls.

I enter the room and mayhem and hysteria (the good kind) abound.

Seven blokes laughing so hard that I think three of them may have a stroke.
Two girls appear to be somewhere between offended and confused.

I'm just about to enquire about the cause of the mirth when my eyes start to burn, my gag reflex kicks in and I feel my throat begin to constrict.

I realise I have just strolled into the worst fart in the history of mankind.

As I'm starting to wonder how something like that could have come out of a human, I feel myself begin to laugh.

I don't want to laugh, I have no reason to laugh.

But I look around the room at my bretheren, and I have no choice.

Just looking at them makes me want to laugh.

Two of them look oxygen deprived and in some kind of medical distress.

I don't care.

I laugh harder.

I don't know why I'm laughing, but I am.

Not only am I laughing, I'm happy.

Havin' a ball.

Just happy, laughing with my stinky, farty, mates.

I look at the girls.

They're not sharing my joy.

I feel for them.

I've recently learned that the male-fart-laugh-response (or the M.F.L.R as it is known in science) is an involuntary physiological response given to us blokes to help us manage our very busy, important and stressful lives.

Not many women know this (so I may get in trouble for sharing) but often in stressful or dangerous situations men will fart silently, thereby triggering the M.F.L.R.,which in turn lowers stress, decreases anxiety and fear and allows the Alpha Male Warrior to deal with the threat effectively.

We know that in some situations people suffering from medical conditions are encouraged watch re-runs of their favourite comedies. Apparently, the laughter helps recovery and healing.

Perhaps they just need a farting bloke in the room.

The Fart; nature's little protector.


ps. most of this story is true....

Ever noticed how complex we've made the English language?

We've got tens of thousands of words and I don't reckon we need ninety five percent of them.

Why don't we just cut our vocab down to say, five hundred words for the blokes and maybe a thousand for the girls.

Much simpler.

Anyway, blokes communicate pretty effectively without actually speaking.

Grunting, nodding, pointing and shrugging have served us well for centuries... let's not get too fancy.

For every word there's at least another fifty, that mean the same thing.

Why don't we just have the one word which best describes (summarises, identifies, explains, characterises, portrays, epitomises, represents, depicts, communicates) whatever it is we're talking about, and make life easy.

We say, okay, 'describes' is the word...and we get rid of all the others.

Less confusion, no ambiguity, smaller dictionaries (I can hear the trees clapping) and less stress for Robert my Polish painter and handyman

Poor Robert.

As if English is not tough enough with our ever-expanding word bank, he also has to negotiate our slang, our colloquialisms, our sarcasm, our poor grammar and our pronunciation.

In between painting stints we have been having impromtu English lessons and I have started to realise, grasp, understand, comprehend, fathom what an excess of unnecessary, stupid, superfluous words we have.

The other day he asked me what a nephrologist was and when I explained that it was a kidney doctor, he asked me why we don't call them kidney-ologists.

Smart, I thought.

Simply think of the body-part you need worked on, add 'ologist' to the end of that word and bingo, you've got your medical specialist.

So, as our small contribution to the simplifying of the English language, Robert and I would like to offer the following suggestions:

Nephrologist now becomes: Kidney-ologist

Proctologist now becomes: Bum-ologist

Podiatrist now becomes: Foot-ologist

Pediatrician now becomes: Kid-ologist

Cardiologist now becomes: Heart-ologist

Chiropractor now becomes: Back-ologist

Uroligist now becomes: Wee-ologist


Simple really

Ever feel like you're backstroking with the multitudes in a sea of mediocrity?

Ever feel like you're meant to be doing something a bit bigger, more stimulating, more noble, more significant, more challenging, more creative, more fun or more financially rewarding!!?

Does your life wreak of Blaaah?
Do you feel like you're the Captain of the SS Directionless?

Welcome to the Average club.


That's where most people live but don't wanna be.
The problem is, we do everything we can to stay a member.

About seventeen years ago I had an idea.

Apparently it was a stupid idea and I would never be able to pull it off.

Too young, too innexperienced, no business skills, no management experience, no administrative skills and no idea how to create, or grow, a business.

What would a dumb twenty four year-old bodybuilder know?

Besides, there was no market or demand for my idea in Australia.

Fortunately for me, my stupid idea has helped me become everything I wasn't, travel the world, work in television and radio, write books, write for magazines, lecture to thousands, help countless people reach their own dreams, have mountains of fun, work in a great environment with great people evey day and also make a few bucks.

I'm kinda glad I didn't listen to all those older, wiser 'advisors'.

Of course the idea was to set up Australia's first commercial Personal Training studio and fortunately for me, it proved to be not so dumb. It worked, not because I'm clever or some business guru, but because:

1. There WAS a market for what I was selling
2. I was prepared to do whatever it took
3. I was prepared to learn and look silly along the way
4. I hated working for other people!
5. I dealt with my fears (of failure etc.) and did what I needed to do.
6. I learnt to deal with discomfort on a daily basis
7. I wanted it enough

At some stage, every successful business, project, organisation or endeavour was simply an idea, a thought, a concept to be developed.

More than likely that same idea was had by many people before one person decided to get uncomfortable, take a risk, get off their butt, get busy and seriously chase their dream.

To actually turn the idea into a reality.

Too many of us spend our life doing nothing with our great ideas, and hoping that success and happiness might magically 'happen' to us.

You've got ideas, you've got potential, you've got what it takes.

You want more.

Stop waiting for the 'right' time... it may never arrive.

Besides, the Average club sucks.

Anais Nin was spot on when she made the above observation.

Have you ever helped a friend through a relationship crisis and been absolutely stunned and amazed when you got around to chatting to their significant other to get their interpretation of events?

It's like, "are you guys talking about the same thing?"

How can two people in the one relationship or situation, talking about the same issues, have such a completely different take on things and both 'know' they're right? This happens in marriages, workplaces, friendships and a range of situations, every second of every day, in every corner of the globe.

It's called perspective; how WE personally see things.

Our reality.

To my amazement and disappointment, I discovered a few years ago that not everyone lives on planet Craig.

Obviously a big loss for humanity.

Sadly, I had to learn to listen to others; not easy for an only child.

Our personal opinion would be all we needed....if we were the only one in the relationship. Fortunately or unfortunately (again, it's a perspective thing) most of us interact with a range of people in a range of situations and circumstances, for a range of reasons, trying to create a range of outcomes, everyday.

Here's what I've learned in twenty five years of communicating for a living:

1. I need to listen more than I speak.

2. I need to talk with people, not at them.

3. In order for me to be able to genuinely connect with people, I need to know how they see the world (or at least try).

4. I will learn more about someone by watching than I will by listening to them

(93% of communication is non-verbal).

5. Many people will tell me what they think I want to hear.

6. I can't impose my values, beliefs or opinions on people.

7. I can have the best motives and intentions... and still hurt and offend people.

The lolly jar at work. The biscuits in the tea room. The licking of the finger, spoon or knife. The eating of the crust when we make the kid's lunch. The sampling of the dinner (fifteen times). A sliver of this, a corner of that. A skerrick, a smidgeon, a morsel, a taste; surely they don't have calories, do they?

Incidental eating is all of the eating we do around our set meals... and we do plenty of it. It might surprise you to learn that some people consume over a thousand calories a day outside of their set meals. These are the people that often say to me "I eat hardly anything".

Sure, Pinocchio.

Next time you lick, pick or sample remember: If you consistently consume 500 calories per day more than you need (not to be confused with want), you will gain an average of half a kilo of body-fat per week!

Too many of us spend our lives getting in shape for summer, birthdays, weddings, school reunions and other significant social occasions. Like athletes, we peak for an event... and then we get fat again.

Sad really.

Creating and maintaining your best body is about the next few decades, not the next few weeks. Remember: if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

Many of us have been on a perpetual cycle of frustration for years. We've 'almost' done it fifty times. So get off the weight-loss/fitness merry-go-round, and make some decisions and changes for life.

By the way, when you don't 'feel' motivated... do it anyway. Creating real change is about commitment, passion and strength of character, not motivation.

Well, it's official; we're one of the fattest nations on earth.

Australia; the chubby country. Has a ring to it, doesn't it? Fat kids, Fat adults, diabetes through the roof, heart disease, bowel cancer, colon cancer, shorter life expectancies predicted and more obesity-related disease than ever before. At the same time, we are inundated with breakthrough medical research, mountains of weight-loss products, diet books, miracle solutions (no really, this is the one), health clubs, trainers and more get-skinny-fast options than ever before. But stand back and take a look; we're fatter than ever.

Fortunately for us all, it's not our fault.

We can all breathe a collective sigh of relief because, apparently, the current obesity epidemic is not about personal responsibility, self control or choices; it's all about big nasty corporations manipulating our subconscious and turning us into junk food-buying zombies who are incapable of reading labels or making informed choices.

Not too long ago, I was watching the news and to my amazement the lead story was about the public pandemonium caused by the opening of a Krispy Kreme Donut franchise. Police, news helicopters, camera crews, reporters, barricades, placard-waving protesters and of course, hundreds of people lining up for hours for their slice, or should I say, box (apparently no-one buys individual donuts any more) of tastebud-heaven. And while I found the notion of a donut store opening being the most news-worthy item of the day incredible, and people's willingness to camp overnight to get donuts even weirder, the thing which really interested me was the protesters, complete with their anti-junk food signs and the public backlash (from some members of the food police) condemning the opening of the new franchise.

Now according to some, organisations like Krispy Kreme are single-handedly destroying the health and waistlines of Australians. And while I acknowledge that in 2006 we have instant access to more high fat, high sugar, low nutrition food than ever before, I think it's also important that someone stands up and screams out

"nobody is forcing anyone to eat this stuff!"

Now, I'm not a fast food advocate and I don't want to be seen (or read) to be defending any particular company, but what fast food companies do is make it, market it and sell it; not illegal last time I checked (and not unlike virtually any company trying to sell any product). It is then up to the individual who has the capacity to think, reason and make a choice (all good things to do) to determine whether or not they become a customer. As I listened to the donut devotees being interviewed while they waited patiently in line, it was apparent that they had chosen to drive to the store, chosen to stand in line for hours, chosen to eat the donuts and therefore (in my humble opinion) chosen to increase their chances of ending up, or remaining, obese. Perhaps I am simplifying a complex problem.... but then again, maybe it's time someone did.