Did you know that over the last two years I have written and published nearly six hundred articles on this site? Plus a bunch more for various magazines. Most of them with some component of education, motivation, insight and/or inspiration. And the odd splash of humour. As somebody said to me the other day “shit you write a lot.” And yep, I do. I’m totally passionate about and committed to what I do; helping people change their lives. Amazingly, some people have read everything I’ve ever written here at me-dot-com. But even more amazing is the fact that some who have read everything… have applied absolutely nothing!
Read with Caution…
We all understand that change doesn’t come from reading (only) right? It happens when we turn the theory into a practical reality; from doing what we know, not from knowing what to do. To me it seems that some people just aren’t serious about change. They act serious but that’s all they do; act. They are performers, not doers. They say the right things but they never actually follow through. You know them. You could even be them from time to time. They talk about it and think about it almost incessantly but they just don’t want it badly enough. For whatever reason, they’re just not willing to do what it takes. Talk to them and they will rationalise, justify and explain why they’re not doing what they know they should. They’ve been almost doing things for years. While they are finding an excuse, people who are serious (about creating their best life) are finding a way. While they are immersed in the problem, people like me are all about the solution. I used to be much more tolerant with the career excuse-makers and procrastinators but twenty-something years down the track I am sick of their crap, their delusional thinking, their mental and emotional weakness and their constant bullshit. There. I said it. Harsh? Maybe. Honest? Definitely.
I feel better.
No More Pointless Conversations
These days I only want to work with people who are actually ready to do what’s necessary to create life-long positive change. I’m not interested in having more meaningless, unproductive, pointless conversations with people who have no real intention of doing what needs to be done; people who are more interested in getting sympathy and attention than they are in learning, growing and doing. The idea (of change) appeals to them but the reality of it is another story. I’m too busy for any more pseudo conversations. I used to wonder how many of my articles it would take. And then I would remind myself that I can’t change anybody but me. Some people will read one of my articles and change their life, while others will read everything I’ve ever written and never change a thing. Why? Because it’s not about what I write, it’s about what people do with what I write. It’s about whether people use the information. Use their potential. Use their opportunities. Do what needs to be done… as opposed to what’s comfortable, convenient and easy.
Craig the Romance Novelist
I am constantly being told by people that they love the way I teach, my writing style and my honesty (of course some hate it too). Well that’s nice and I appreciate the support, but what I’m really after is reports of incredible results. Amazing change. Yes I want people to enjoy my writing, my thoughts and my lessons but what I want more is transformed lives. Writing for the sake of writing is not rewarding and not what I’m about. As a personal development writer (sorry about that wanky label) mentor, coach and educator, if my writing doesn’t impact lives in a real, practical and measurable way, then what’s the point? I may as well write romance novels.
There’s a thought.
“It was a warm summer evening as he ambled slowly towards the homestead; a walk he thought he’d never make again. It had been four long years at war but through the kitchen window and the fading light she couldn’t help but recognise that unmistakable silhouette. For a moment she thought it was a dream. Her heart skipped a beat, her mind raced and she ran like a young girl to the front door. He reached the verandah, dropped his bag, opened his arms and without speaking a single word their lips met…”
Okay, perhaps not.
Er, aaaah, ummm….
Being a personal development writer who is expected to churn out high volume (the nature of blogging) and high quality work is often a tough gig but that’s okay; I don’t mind tough. To be honest, there have been a few times when I have sat at my computer and thought “what can I possibly say today that hasn’t already been said? Or how can I say it in a way which will have more impact on my readers?” I guess there have been times when I have put too much pressure on myself to help people produce results but then I remember, I’m only the writer and YOU are the doer. So I’ll write and you do.
Or else.
Don’t make me come over there.
{ 54 comments… read them below or add one }
Craig,
Great article. GREAT. Truly brilliant. Having just got home from a gruelling karate class, reading a "motivational" blog that is straight down the line .. or between the eyes .. is perfect!
I'm only new to your site, but I'm finding it EXACTLY in line with changes and actions I'm currently undertaking. You want to hear about change? Fantastic results? Well, what I can give you to date is the huge change in my mindset. I'm ready. For life-long change. My goals are no longer based purely on physical appearance. I want that black belt. And I want to win medals at tournaments. And I want the fitness to fight all day long, if I had to. And the flexibility to kick people in the head .. if I wanted to. All these goals make me feel so much more "grounded" in terms of the changes I've needed to make. That they're long term .. and for the right reasons.
I'm doing cardio every day. Personal training (weights-based) three times a week. Karate twice a week … aiming to get back to three times a week. 12 weeks goals are to lose 10kg (to be a weight I haven't seen since high school) and to grade to my blue belt, with improved strength, fitness, flexibility and muscle tone thrown in for good measure.
I've bought two journals: one for the physical (food & exercise diary) and the other for the head stuff (ALL my goals .. over and over).
So don't feel that your writing isn't being transformed into action. It is. And don't back off the realist flavour .. if we're not tough enough to take it, we're not tough enough to make wholesale change! You can't MAKE anyone take action … but maybe that's your lesson in all this. How to NOT feel responsible for that. And maybe even how to identify those people with the real potential so your efforts are more fulfilling.
A couple of things I'd like to know more about (in terms of article ideas, perhaps), is how to deal with the low moods .. how to get out of them with as little damage as possible (eg. overeating), or how to switch them off sooner. Kind of like echinancea .. reduce the severity and duration. Also, how should you time your eating around exercise? If I eat 2hrs before karate and don't eat 4hrs before bed, that means my last meal is at 5.30pm .. and then I've got personal training in the morning. I'm thinking I'm gonna be hungry in the morning!
Apologise for the long post, but this article rather inspired me! Thanks again.
Sue
Hi Craig,
Writing this Tuesday night I have almost overdosed on you today lol. This morning and tonight on the radio…and what a topic and the response was amazing! I nearly called in but missed my chance! (it was the first time I have caught you in SEN) BTW I am very much against the tax payer funded lapband surgery. I am morbidly obese and I made myself so and it is me who has to fix it.
Anyway sorry to have gone off topic (as usual lol) I have been sorting myself out and I still have a way to go but I am feeling fitter and healthier every day. I had another GTT blood test on Monday and get the results on the 17th. I am hoping my sugars will have dropped lessening the chance of T2 diabetes as a result of losing weight. (they had dropped a little in March from 6.2 to 5.9 after about 9kg lost) so I hope it goes well after losing almost 24kg.
I love reading your articles and some may not apply to me for whatever reason but I always try to take something and try to use it. I even reinforce what you write by talking about it with others. I am in msn contact with Jules and we chat about your posts too. Please keep writing what you do best…your romance ones, well ummm …..suck! sorry lol.
Hugs,
Michelle xx
Wow ! Hey, Craig… you really socked it to us this time, didn’cha !!! OK, I get the message. I’m doing ! In fact, I’m getting off here and going to bed and it’s just after midnight… not my usual 2am. 4 week goal #1 in action ! You don’t need to come over…………
{{HUG}} Tina
I’ve only written 40-some articles, but I can see this happening when I’m at 600! It’s the same for myself. I actually printed a book (3-ring binder) of everything I’ve written, and I’ve been reading it because I forget to practice what I preach.
You can’t change anyone else; they can only change themselves. The best we can do is help others to take action, think differently, refine their beliefs, become motivated. I guess that’s why personal development is “self-help.”
you know what I love you about you?
YOU
ARE
*REAL*
(yes, others may consider you unreal
vicki xox
Labas, Craig
Okay, Craig, you knocked me down. I’m performer. I can’t find any power in myself. I give up. I know, what a pity… Good luck, Craig. See you next life.
Saulius.
Yes…I am amazed at how fast you are in writing articles. Many of them are very well written. And of course, you don’t just write articles. You do so many other things. Do you even sleep at all?
There is so much truth on being reading yet not doing. Great point mentioned.
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
My post will be considerably shorter than the first one, but something you said last week (a comment on my comment, actually) went around in my head all weekend, and the changes that came about from it have given me the most productive week I’ve had in a long time. But since it’s only been since last week, it’s too soon to brag about major changes. I’m almost more excited about the head change than the outcome/results at the moment.
Kristi
Dear Craig,
At the Sydney RYL you said to me “Imagine what you can do in a year”.
So – no more posts from me til the job is done Craig – great post.
I’m on it.
Kathryn.
Craig,
Over the past 2 years I have…
1. Quit smoking (not a puff for 2 years)
2. Lost 50kgs (despite giving up smoking!) and have maintained current weight for 12 months.
3. Ran a half marathon, and continue to run 4-5 times a week.
4. Changed career. Made a shift from working in IT (found the courage to let go of all the lovely money and long hours) and am now work part time as a Weight Watchers leader and am training to become a Personal Trainer – much more fulfilling!
5. Met a new man and become a step mum and LOVE it.
The list is much, much longer but these are the highlights!
So, thanks Craig. Keep up the good work, some of us do DO!!!
Sorry I have been so busy transforming my life, I forgot to thank you for all your wonderful advice earlier!
SB
Hi Craig
I know someone very well whom prefers to wish and hope and is then disappointed with the outcome. I suggested, maybe if you start doing….instead of wishing and hoping? I was 100% happy to help out, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, whatever you want from me-no strings, just to help. I printed two of your articles and handed over only 2 of your 600 articles. Bottom line: No effort, nothing changed, in fact it got worse. Ive changed and I need all the energy I can get.
Hi Sue – thanks. I’ll give your article suggestions some consideration… ( )
Go Tina!! ( )
Thanks for sharing Richard..
Cheers
Thanks Vicki
( )
Hi Saulius – don’t give up.
Your best life is a decision away.
If you make it so.
Everything you need to create your best life, you already have.
Hi Evelyn
I slept in the eighties.
Yeah, I sleep. ( )
Get your head in the right place (your internal reality) and the rest (the external) will fall into place Kristi…
Good for you ( )
i’m 61 and taken notice of your comments/articles and am making an adjustment by walking up the hill home rather than parking at the bottom (only twice weekly though, it’s a start.)
Good for you Kathryn – but I think some updates from you would be nice…
( )
Congrats SB – you’re doing amazing!
Keep doing what you need to.. ( )
The only person you can change is you Anon – but I understand your concern and your frustration…
( )
SB, your achievements are awesome!! Well done! You are an inspiration.
Care to share anything about your current goals?
Sue
Hi Craig,
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! I have finally gotten a new mindset about making life long change in my life! I WAS the person you spoke about in your blog. All the excuses, all the time. I started really being successful losing weight at Weight Watchers and I noticed that the way unsuccessful weight losers spoke at the meetings was full of excuses and reasons why they couldn’t be successful. I went on the web in search of some sanity and to figure out how to make this new weight loss stick, and I found your website. I then read Fatitude and WOW what a great book. I FINALLY know I can lose weight. I have to make the choice to be thin. If I don’t lose weight it is my own fault – I would then be CHOOSING to be fat and out of shape. But no more excuses, no more blaming situations or circumstances – Time to take responsibility for my life and health.
So far I am feeling great and my brain and thinking are changing. I am finally ready for life long change and I am exercising and lifting weights 4 or more times a week.
45 lbs. down in 3 months. 105 lbs. to go by my 45th Birthday next October, or maybe sooner. I know I can do it and I want you to know that you have and will continue to be a great inpsiration to me.
Thanks again.
Steve in California
Hey…
I still think yr too nice. I like tough love!
The best thing Ive ever heard you say (in exasperation) was… ‘Just frickin’ DO IT’.
I have read Fatittude, read every single article and seen every 9am segment and listened and listened
and listened (stalker, much?) but that one sentance resonated with me like no other.
Thats all…
Happy Wednesday!
Steve, Steve, Steve – YOU DE’ MAN!!!
Now THAT is why I do this.
I don’t know you but I’m proud of you nonetheless – well done. Keep us all posted and keep doing what you need to do..
In the past I’ve written copious lists of ‘goals’. I trip myself up every time because I don’t spend time creating the action plans and then following through. Some of my goals now would be exactly the same as what they were some 10 years ago. Sad? Disappointing? YES.
Actually, Craig, when you said at RYL Syd something about ‘creating change as a result of attending something like this’ it rang bells for me. My parents took me to something ’similar’ when I used to live in Melb (so that makes it pre-2000 sometime). One of the things I recall from it was ‘if its not 100 on the scale, then forget it you don’t want it bad enough.’ So all this time has building my confidence, study/career, wanting to be leaner, lighter and stronger not been 100 on the scale? Or have I just been acting and not doing? I go through ‘phases’ of being committed to the cause, but I struggle to maintain that commitment and action.
I also recall my parents stocking up their bookshelf with self-help stuff and saying to me “Jules, this is a great book.” I may have read a few pages but then given up. It may have changed their heads but not mine. The student wasn’t ready. The student is ready now though, which is why I think lovely Pip told me about you-dot-com at the right time and that I could go to RYL.
Thanks Craig. Stay tuned for updates. I will have assignment #5 (of 6) finished by the end of the weekend (not-negotiable). There’s a 1.2km open water swim I’m planning on doing at the end of the month and a sprint triathlon in mid Dec. Quoting your “can I do what I need to do on a given day irrespective of how I’m feeling on a given day?” The answer has to be YES otherwise change wont follow.
And about the whole student/teacher thing- some teachers get through to particular students better than others. I’ve found the right teacher for me
Thanks Craig. No more ‘phases’ for me. I’m about change.
Jules
HEY FRIDAY – GET OFF YOUR ASS~!!!!!
( )
Crikey! This one ellicited a LOT of comments.
If I wasn’t getting anything from what you write I’d unsubscribe LOL
You are one of the few people who has been instrumental in me taking the time to make the time to change, love, forgive, smile, and keep at it.
Heck you have your own folder in Outlook!
()
Suu
How come I can’t just read this stuff and then go off and do something else (not necc nothing, but just something else) Ah well, I can’t – so this is my report.
I do well most of the time with fitness and healthy eating. My other goals are to write – not motivational stuff neccessarily, but to write. I have found a couple of inspiring writing gurus to support and encourage me (Hi to Kristi Holl,who also reads your blog)and have learnt heaps.
I may even be having my first article published in a parenting magazine sometime soon. That was a big buzz, getting a positive response from an editor. Would like a bit more of that.
Anyhow… yes, like others I get bogged down by other committments -kids, family etc…. and get off track. I then wonder whether I’m on the right track. I get my most motivation to write from talking and spending time with other writers, but I only know one person (apart from you) who does it. I could brainstorm ideas all day, with someone else, but the opportunities are limited.
Am I making up excuses here? Maybe…I’ll keep writing….I have changed….6 mths ago writing was a forgotten once upon a time thing…. now I may have an article published soon. I think it’s the slow part that gets to you….lots of articles being accepted would be such a boon. Wishing… wishing….better keep doing.
See ya, Craig…
Monica
PS I think you have the nak with that romance stuff…..Mills and Boons would probably love it!
Good work Jules – keep it up.
( )
My own folder in Outlook! I’ve made it! (LOL)
Thanks Suu ( )
Nice update Monica.
Not sure about the Mills and Boon thing…
( )
LOL
Why are you yelling at me?
Anyway…
Copied, pasted, printed.
Watch this space!
Thanks
( )
Hi Craig
I have been reading your articles for a few months now & I must say they are very inspirational and entertaining. Keep up the great work. You are already having an impact on more people than you will know about. It is difficult to change your life.
For a while now I have been working on learning, growing, doing. Let me tell you it has not been easy.
The main things that have helped me are that I have sat down with pen & paper and wrote down all the things that I love and want in my life in all areas eg. mentally, physically, financially, spiritually, relationships etc. I have found once goals are written down they will have a great impact particularly if they are read each morning and last thing at night before bed. As you have mentioned in previous articles FOCUS is essential as well as ACTION.
We need more people like yourself to keep motivating and encouraging us to be our best.
Thank You
Anne
You need it Friday…
Hello Craig,
Over the last few months I have been reading your articles, listen to your radio talks etc, you have been nothing but a huge inspiration to me & a huge impact in my life.
I'm not sure where I would be right now in my life if it wasn't for your positive words, teachings etc. I've been facing my fears & discomforts,learning that this is the most effective way not the easiest way, & also that I don't just want to exist I want to live!!!!!
Thank you soooooo much!!!!
SC
Mr Harper, I like your style, straight to the point. Your words are good medicine to a person when they are ready to be healed. Sadly some of us will never reach the point where we want healing. Keep up the good work.
You know Craig, if you ever run out of movtivational fodder I’m sure you’d have a great new career at Mills and Boon! Will we see you in a Pirate shirt and breeches perhaps?
For a number of years I have been trying to turn around the sort of thinking that was drummed into me from childhood – can’t, don’t, too hard, too difficult, shouldn’t do that etc… Every time I think I’ve got past it, something happens and I end up in that mindset. I had been trying to change things and your blog and your seminars have been crucial to helping me do that. I know I have a long way to go but I think things might be finally turning. Difficult doesn’t scare me anywhere near as much as it used to and I find when people complain to me about their weight I start to talk about choice – scarey!
You may often think your words fall on deaf ears and you may not see people change but sometimes us thickheads need a little time to brew but then it all starts happening.
Thanks for perservering, sharing and putting up with the slow learners
Lookin forward to the next installment of that romance story…
G’day Craig,
I’m with Friday – love the tough love.
Just to be argumentative (since Ange hasn’t showed up yet) have you considered that some people take a little longer to “process” the education you provide. I think you’re selling yourself short to think people would read everything you’ve written and not change at least a little bit?
I feel like I’ve made amazing changes this year both before and after I had heard of craigharperdotcom. Like Michelle, I like to try and get something out of everything I read even if it doesn’t “seem” to apply to me at the time. I will admit I haven’t read it all (yet), the whole doing stuff thing does get in the way of obsessively reading everything craig harper has written thing. I guess I should prioritise better?
In fact, rarely have time these days to post long, annoying comments on your blog, so as I have exactly 6.2 minutes to spare right now I’ll just keep writing until my spare time is gone.
Last year, this time I weighed just over 140 kgs, smoked 2 packs a day, ate, i would guess, about 5000 calories of crap a day, could just manage the walk from the couch to the fridge and felt pretty ripped off when I had to make the journey myself anyway.
Today, I weigh just over 80kgs (still going, but way closer to respectable weight), non-smoker (three months down, 66 years to go), eat healthily and WAY less, and can manage the fridge walk with ease. In 3 weeks I run my first 5k and on the same day my kids, 3,4 and 6 will run their first 1km dash. Warning – photos imminent…lol. I have 15,000 words of my book written and write every day even if it’s only for 30 minutes, I exercise everyday, I am working again, training again and more than 90% of the time feel like I am LIVING THE DREAM baby. LOL!
I could go on boring you with my endless list of amazing accomplishments, but you get the point…..YOU DO help those of us that want to change and we’d probably get there eventually anyway, but why ride a donkey when you can fly first class?
Love your work. Hope you are well. Keep creating amazing and reminding us how to and we’ll keep trying our best – okay?
Big hugs,
Jo
xox
So what is it that keeps you doing it Craig? It’s obvious that you have passion for communicating your message, but what is it that keeps you going on those days when you think “Is anyone actually paying REAL attention to what I write?!”?
I can definitely relate – my blog is very new and although I’ve had great feedback so far, with (waaay) less readers than what you have, I do have to wonder if my words are actually being heard at all!
Of course, then I get that occasional great comment that makes it all worthwhile and I know I’ve made an impact and possibly helped someone transform their life.
Would be interested to know what it is that kick-starts your writing drive each day as well as how much time you actually spend writing?
Thanks!
Craig,
I am sorry if I shattered you, I actually like a bit of romance lol you write it and I will read it ok! lol
I have been listening to you on Gold for…um…how long have you been doing that show now…a good few years now right? You woke me up one early one morning talking a lot of stuff that at that time made way too much sense for 6:30am…and I have been hooked ever since! I enjoy listening to your lovely (yes!) voice on the radio. Once I finally found your blog…well I realised I could get more of you than just once a week. Now I have found your other programs as well….ok I am a lost cause lol!!! You have helped me in more ways than you will ever know thanks!!
Keep em coming! I love them!
Hugs
Michelle
You’re very welcome SC ( )
Hello buffedstuff – thankyou…
Congrats on your achievements.
Hi Kat – you’re most welcome
No more romance story…
( )
Big hugs back busy Jo… ( )
Hi Kat Eden – what keeps me doing it? Discipline and vision… I love to write and impact lives.
I write somewhere around 3-6 hours most days…!
( )
Keep up the great work with your blog – add some pictures…
Cheers Michelle… you’re most welcome… love your commitment
( )
Hi again,
Ammmmmmm, I was a little bit…joking
don't get mad, Craig 
Anyway, thank you for your passion, care and love, Craig. We should share our minds, feelings and emotions. Manhug ( )
Doing & creating my best life already.
Honest,
Saulius
Thanks for the picture tip Craig! Will do ..
(Impressed by how speedily you respond to comments ..)
Just to let you know, I’m using some of your motivational kick-up-the-arse stuff to keep me on track with my weight loss program. I’m finally at the weight I want to be and now am working on improving my fitness level.
So keep up the “bashing over the back of the head with a piece of 4X2″ blogs. It works for me (might hurt a little, but hey, no pain no gain!)
Kym.
I once began a conversation with a dear friend with the words “I have just one thing to say to you – toilet.” She whooped and cheered for about two minutes… Weird hey. This is why : once when I was talking to her about a project I was hoping to get done she listened and then carefully placecd her hand over my mouth and said, “No talky talky. Do-y Do-y.”
It was what I needed. And so when I stopped talking and put the energy into doing I was eventually done. Done-y Done-y in fact. And here in Australia a dunny is a toilet. She got it. Long history which is why she was brave enough to put her hand over my mouth in the first place. So, thanks for being brave enough to say no talky talky to a some of us who need it.
Ouch.