Thoughts About Thought (part two)

Hi Guys, thanks for your words of inspiration and motivation yesterday. You’re all kind of clever aren’t you? I want to congratulate you first time commentors. See, it wasn’t that scary was it? Anyway, I now have a whole bunch of new material for my presentations, so thanks for doing my research and for saving me a heap of time! Very thoughtful and selfless of you. Don’t worry, I’ll credit you.

On Tuesday we began to explore the relationship between our thinking and our realities. I say realities (plural) because we all exist and operate on two levels; in our mind (the cerebral – our internal world) and our three-dimensional world (the physical – our external world). They are both very real places and they both impact on each other in a significant way. What happens in our physical, practical world (situations, events, circumstances, problems, challenges, people) impacts on our mental and emotional states (our internal world). Just as what happens internally, influences and sometimes dictates, the kind of practical results we produce in our physical (external) world. That being at work, school, the gym, in relationships, on the sporting field… in life. We know that if we have stinkin’ thinking we’re probably gonna produce stinkin’ results in our day to day existence. We also understand the strong correlation between how we think (and as a consequence, choose and behave) and the practical outcomes we create in our external world. But even with this knowledge it seems that some of us inhabit that negative mindset on a regular, if not full-time basis.

So the questions posed at the end of yesterday’s post were:

(1) Is it possible to re-program the internal dialogue to change the external reality (think different to create different)?

(2) If it is, then how the heck do we do it?

In dispensing this information I’m going to speak to you as a coach, mentor and exercise scientist, not as a behavioural psychologist. Firstly because I’m not one (a psych) and secondly because I’m not that clever. All of the following advice, suggestions and recommendations are based purely on my experience and observations, not on research papers, extensive interviews with clever people or years of academic study. So read it and do with it what you will. Or won’t. As the case may be.

The answer to questions one is, yes.

But the answer to question two is what we’re all interested in.

Before I offer my thoughts I will say that in my experience (1) different things work for different people and (2) it’s usually a multi-dimensional answer.

Strategies for changing the way we think:

1. Spend time with different people. As I’ve said before, in many ways we become who we hang out with. Spend time with negative, critical, woe-is-me thinkers and pretty soon, you’ll be just like them. Conversely, spend time with people who find the good, are all about solutions not problems, can laugh at themselves, are prepared to get their hands dirty and are happy to encourage and support you, and you’ll get dragged up, not down. Optimism is contagious. And it’s a condition you want to catch. Left untreated, it might just develop into full-blown happiness and success. Careful.

2. Do different things. We are SO creatures of habit and repetition aren’t we? We do today what we did yesterday. And last week. Last year. And sometimes, last decade. Irrespective of how much we need/want to change our life or part thereof. Some of us have taken the same route so many times that we’ve dug a rut for ourselves that’s ten feet deep. And it ain’t easy to see a world of possibilities when you spend your life in a D.I.Y ditch. The simple experience of doing different things is often enough to open our eyes to a new (better) way of thinking, doing and being. When we consciously do things we’ve never done before (possibly things we’ve avoided or been fearful of) something positive happens to the wiring in our brain. We start to consider new possibilities. Better possibilities. Barriers get broken down. Fears are overcome. Confidence grows. Self esteem improves and we think differently. So stop doing what you’ve always done and if you wanna be different then DO DIFFERENT!

3. Expose yourself to different ideas, cultures and information. By putting ourselves in different situations, environments or even countries, we begin to see things differently. Something as simple as being in a different place can make us see life from a completely different perspective in a matter of minutes. All of a sudden we realise how small our ‘world’ is and more significantly, how small our thinking is. Years ago I spent some time in South Africa working with children who were HIV positive. They were all aged between new born and five years. That experience totally changed my thinking about many things. I instantly realised that most of my ‘problems’ weren’t problems and that the only real hurdle in my life was my thinking, my attitude, my self-limiting beliefs and my stupid self-imposed rules. Nobody had to ‘teach’ me anything, I just needed get some perspective on my incredibly privileged existence.

4. Set yourself a sporting goal. And then achieve it. People who complete sporting goals for a first time, change. And more than anything, that change is an internal one. Sure their body shapes up and their fitness improves, but the biggest transformation is in how they think. Their standards (about what’s normal) change. They expect more of themselves. Their beliefs about what’s possible for them changes. Their self-esteem grows and they become more confident and optimistic. Ever seen anyone complete their first fun run, half marathon or marathon? If you have, you know what I mean.

5. Consciously look for solutions, instead of obsessing about problems. Some people invest so much time and emotional energy into the problem, that they have nothing in the tank when it comes to finding a solution. In truth, some people don’t actually want answers; they simply want more attention and sympathy. So in a weird way, those ‘problems’ (real or not) serve a purpose. A miserable purpose. And the difference between a ‘problem’ and a lesson or opportunity? Perspective. Attitude. Thinking. One person’s problem is another person’s life lesson. It’s a choice.

6. Ask yourself the right questions. To an extent, the quality of our questions, will determine the quality of our actions. Moving away from the “why does this happen to me” mentality and into the “what can I learn from this” mindset is the difference between stagnation and growth, misery and happiness, self-pity and self-empowerment.

7. Be proactive instead of reactive. So many people shut the gate once the horse has bolted. Stop waiting until you’re backed into a corner to make those life-changing decisions and do what you need to do. Stop letting situations, circumstances, events and other people, determine what your reality will look like. Decide what you want and get busy creating it. When it comes to your life, go on the offensive. Grab that life by the throat and shake the crap out of it. Not very academic advice I know. Effective nonetheless.

8. Face your fears. What happens when we confront our fears head on? We learn something. We use a little more of our potential. We cope, we grow and we adapt. We get a little stronger. We become less fearful and more confident. And of course, our thinking changes.

So, I hope that helps you. Now all you’ve got to do is… DO. In fact, maybe today is a good day to do more and think less. Ironic huh?

Leave a comment or say hi by clicking on the comment thingy (below). And don’t forget my upcoming workshops kick off in Perth on September 14. Followed by Adelaide, Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne. I look forward to meeting those of you who can make it along.

Ciao x